The Comedies of Carlo Goldoni

Nina. Because you are.

Scene XIVCoronato, who comes out of the inn. The above

Coronato. At last I know what present Signorina Nina has had.

Nina. What business is that of yours?

Crispino. [To Coronato.] From whom has she had a present?

Coronato. From Signor Evarist.

Nina. It is not true.

Crispino. It is not true?

Coronato. But it is, and I know, too, what it is.

Nina. Well, be it what it be, it does not concern you. I love Crispino, and shall be the wife of my Crispino.

Crispino. [To Coronato.] Well, what is the present?

Coronato. A fan.

Crispino. [Angrily to Nina.] A fan?

Nina. [Aside.] Confound that fellow!

Crispino. [To Nina.] Did you receive a fan?

Nina. It is not true.

Coronato. It is so true, that you have it in your pocket.

Crispino. I wish to see that fan.

Nina. No, no!

Coronato. I will find the means to make her show it.

Nina. You are an interfering fellow.

Scene XVMoracchio from out the house, a table napkin in his hand, eating

Moracchio. What's all this noise about?

Coronato. Your sister has had a fan given her, it is in her pocket, and she denies it.

Moracchio. [Sternly.] Give me that fan.

Nina. Leave me alone.

Moracchio. Give me that fan, or, I swear by Heaven – [Threatens her.]

Nina. Confound you all! Here it is.

Crispino. [Wants to take it.] I want it.

Coronato. No; I.

Nina. Leave me alone, I say!

Moracchio. Quick, give it here. I want it.

Nina. No; rather than to you or Coronato, I will give it to Crispino.

Moracchio. Give it to me, I say!

Nina. To Crispino! [Gives the fan to Crispino, and runs into the house.]

Coronato. Give it here.

Moracchio. Give it here.

Crispino. You shall not have it.

[Both fall on Crispino to yet it from him. Heescapes from the scene, they follow him.]Scene XVI The Count on the terrace. Timoteo outside his shop

Count. Hi! Signor Timoteo!

Timoteo. What do you command?

Count. Quick, quick, bring spirits and cordials! Signorina Candida has fainted!

Timoteo. Instantly. [Returns into the shop.]

Count. What was she looking at? One would think some poisonous plants grew in the garden of the café.

[Exit.[Crispino crosses the stage, running. Coronatoand Moracchio run after him, and all threedisappear.]

Baron. [From the villa to the apothecary.] Quick, quick, Signor Timoteo!

Timoteo. [Advancing with various phials and cups.] Here I am.

Baron. Quick, quick!

Timoteo. All right, all right. [Goes up to the door.]

[Crispino, Coronato, Moracchio, from outside the scene, run furiously across the stage, knock against Timoteo, throw him down, breaking all his bottles. Crispino falls over him and loses hold of the fan. Coronato snatches it up and runs off. Timoteo gets up and returns to his shop.]

Coronato. [To Moracchio.] Here it is, here it is! I have got it!

[Exit.END OF THE SECOND ACT

ACT III

Scene I

Crispino comes out of his shop, with bread, cheese, and a bottle of wine, seats himself on the bench, and breakfasts. Tognino comes out of Geltrude's villa with a broom, and crosses to the pharmacy. Coronato and Scavezzo come out of the inn; the latter carries a barrel on his shoulders; the former passes Crispino, looks at him and laughs. Then both go off. Crispino looks after him and clenches his fist. Tognino, issuing from the pharmacy, sweeps the square. Timoteo with glasses and bottles hurries across to the villa. Crispino has emptied his wine-bottle, and goes into the inn. Susanna comes out of her shop, seats herself to do some needlework. Tognino off into the villa. Crispino comes back, his bottle refilled. He draws the fan from his pocket, looks at it smiling, and seats himself again. Nina also seats herself outside her door to spin. Crispino hides the fan under his leather apron, and goes on eating. Coronato comes back, passes Crispino, and smiles. Crispino smiles also. Coronato, arrived at his own door, turns round once more to look at Crispino and smile, then enters. Crispino laughs too, takes up the fan, looks at it with pleasure, and then hides it again.

Count and Baron coming out of Gertrude's villa

Count. No excuse! my friend, that should not vex you.

Baron. I assure you it can't please me either.

Count. If Signorina Candida felt ill, that was an accident; you must excuse. You know women are subject to vapours and nervous attacks.

Baron. But when we went in she was not ill, and scarcely did she see me than she retired to her room.

Count. Because she felt it coming on.

Baron. And then, did you notice Signora Geltrude when she came out of her niece's room, with what attention, what interest she read some papers that seemed letters.

Count. She is a woman who has much business on her hands, and a large correspondence. Doubtless they were letters just arrived.

Baron. No; they were old papers. I bet anything they were something she had found either on the table or on the person of Signorina Candida.

Count. Dear friend, your suspicions are strange! Your imagination runs away with you!

Baron. I imagine that which doubtless is the case. I suspect that an understanding exists between Signorina Candida and Evarist.

Count. Impossible! Were it so, I should know it. I know everything! There is nothing done in the village that I do not know! And further, were it as you think, do you suppose Signorina Candida would ever have accepted your proposal? How can you suppose she would thus compromise the mediation of a nobleman of my standing?

Baron. Oh, for that a good reason can be found. She was forced to say "Yes;" but Signora Geltrude was not as amiable to me after reading those letters; indeed, she seemed to me to show pleasure that we should go.

Count. Well, I think that all we have to complain of against Signora Geltrude is, that she did not ask us to stay to dinner with her.

Baron. To that I am indifferent.

Count. I gave her some hints, but she pretended not to understand.

Baron. I assure you she was most anxious we should leave.

Count. I am sorry for you. Where will you dine to-day?

Baron. I told the host to prepare dinner for two.

Count. For two?

Baron. I expect Evarist, who has gone shooting.

Count. If you will come and dine with me —

Baron. With you?

Count. But my dinner is half a mile from here.

Baron. Thank you, but the dinner is already ordered. Hi there, Coronato!

Scene IICoronato from out the inn. The above

Coronato. You called me?

Baron. Has Signor Evarist returned?

Coronato. I have not seen him yet, sir. I am sorry, because the dinner is ready, and the food will get spoilt.

Count. Evarist is capable of amusing himself shooting till evening, and making you lose your dinner.

Baron. What can I do? I promised to wait for him.

Count. Well, it's all very well to wait for him up to a certain point. But, my dear friend, it does not seem to me you should wait long for a person who is your social inferior. I admit the demands of politeness, of humanity; but, my dear colleague, let us also preserve our aristocratic decorum.

Baron. I feel half inclined to ask you to come and take Evarist's place.

Count. If you do not wish to wait for him, or if you dislike eating alone, come to my house and take pot-luck.

Baron. No, no, my dear Count. Do me the pleasure of dining with me. Let us go to table, and if Evarist is not punctual, that is his loss.

Count. [Content.] It will teach him politeness.

Baron. [To Coronato.] Tell them to serve.

Coronato. Yes, sir. [Aside.] H'm, h'm! there'll be little left for the kitchen now.

Baron. I will go and see that they have prepared for our dinner. [Enters.]

Count. [To Coronato.] Have you taken the second barrel of wine?

Coronato. Yes, sir, I sent it to your house.

Count. You sent it! without going with it? I fear mischief.

Coronato. I will tell you. I accompanied the man until the turn of the road, where we met your servant.

Count. My steward?

Coronato. No, sir.

Count. My footman?

Coronato. No, sir.

Count. My lackey?

Coronato. No, sir.

Count. Who then?

Coronato. That man who lives with you, and sells your fruit, salad, vegetables.

Count. What! that man?

Coronato. Just so. I met him, showed him the barrel, and he accompanied my servant.

Count. [Aside.] The devil! that fellow, who never sees wine, is capable of drinking up half the barrel. [Goes towards the door.]

Coronato. Excuse me.

Count. What is it?

Coronato. Have you spoken for me to Nina?

Count. [Embarrassed.] All right, all right!

Coronato. All right?

Count. [Advancing towards the door.] We will speak about it after.

Coronato. But tell me one thing.

Count. Come, come, let me go in, so as not to keep the Baron waiting.

Coronato. [Aside.] I have good hopes. He is a man, if he takes up a cause, to succeed with it – sometimes. – [In loving yet harsh tones.] Nina! Nina!

[Nina spins on and does not reply.]

Coronato. Allow me at least to salute you.

Nina. [Without looking up.] You would do better to give me back my fan.

Coronato. Indeed! – [Aside.] Oh, by the bye, I left that fan in the cellar! – Yes, yes, let us speak of that fan. – [Aside.] I hope no one has carried it off. [Goes into the house.]

[Crispino laughs aloud.]

Susanna. You seem to have a light heart, Crispino, you laugh so merrily.

Crispino. I laugh because I have my reasons for laughing.

Nina. [To Crispino.] You laugh, and I feel gnawed with anger.

Crispino. Anger? And what are you angry about?

Nina. That that fan should be in Coronato's hands.

Crispino. [Laughing.] Yes, it is in Coronato's hands.

Nina. Then why do you laugh?

Crispino. I laugh because it is in Coronato's hands. [Gets up and carries the remains of his meal into his workshop.]

Nina. What silly laughter!

Susanna. I never thought my fan would pass through so many hands.

Nina. [Looking at her with amazement.] Your fan?

Susanna. Oh, I say my fan because it came from my shop.

Nina. I suppose you were paid for it?

Susanna. Of course, else I should not have given it.

Nina. And it will also have been paid double its worth?

Susanna. Not so; and even were it so, what does it matter to you? For what it cost you, you can accept it.

Nina. How do you know what it costs me?

Susanna. [Sarcastically and pointedly.] Oh, I don't know what it cost you, nor whether he who gave it you has great obligations towards you.

Nina. What obligations? What do you mean by obligations? Do I meddle in your affairs?

Susanna. There, there, don't excite yourself! You don't intimidate me with your fury!

Crispino. [From out the shop.] What's the matter? Incessant bickerings, incessant high words.

Susanna. She makes side hits and expects one to keep silent.

Crispino. Are you angry, Nina?

Nina. I angry? I am never angry!

Susanna. Oh, she loves peace, and never excites herself!

Nina. Never, except when I am teased, if I have to hear impertinences, if I am trampled under foot.

[Susanna mutters to herself.]

Crispino. Is it I who ill-treat you, tease you, trample you under foot?

Nina. [Spinning sulkily.] I am not speaking of you.

Susanna. No, she does not refer to you, she refers to me.

Crispino. One might really say it is an art to live for five minutes in peace on this square.

Nina. When evil tongues are abroad.

Crispino. Quiet! it is shameful.

Susanna. One is to be insulted, and then not speak.

Nina. I speak reasonably.

Susanna. Better I should be silent.

Nina. Certainly it is better to be silent than say foolish things.

Crispino. You will always have the last word.

Nina. Yes; and were I in my grave —

[Timoteo from out the villa with cups and bottles.]

Nina. He who wants me, takes me as I am, and who does not want me, leaves me alone!

Crispino. Do be quiet at last!

Timoteo. [Aside.] I won't go again into that house. Is it my fault that these waters don't help? I can only give what I have. They expect to find all the refinements of town in a village. And then what are spirits, cordials, essences? So many quack remedies. The corner-stones of an apothecary are, water, quinine, mercury. [Goes into his shop.]

Crispino. Some one must be ill at the villa.

Nina. [With contempt.] Yes, that dear jewel of a Signorina Candida!

Susanna. Poor Signorina Candida!

Crispino. What is the matter with her?

Susanna. [Pointedly.] Nina should know something about it.

Nina. I? What have I to do with it?

Susanna. Because she is ill on your account.

Nina. On my account! [Springs to her feet.]

Susanna. Oh, one cannot speak quietly with you.

Crispino. I should like to know what all this means. [Gets up from his work.]

Nina. [To Susanna.] You are only able to say silly things!

Susanna. There, there, don't excite yourself.

Crispino. [To Nina.] Let her speak.

Nina. Well, speak, then.

Susanna. I won't say anything more to you!

Nina. If you have any sense of honour, speak.

Susanna. If matters are thus, well, I will.

Crispino. Quiet there! Signora Geltrude is approaching. No scenes before her.

Nina. She shall give me an explanation!

Scene IIIGeltrude from the villa. The above

Geltrude. [Gravely.] Is your brother returned?

Nina. [Ungraciously, and turning away.] Yes, he is.

Geltrude. [As above.] Has Signor Evarist returned also?

Nina. [As above.] Yes, he has.

Geltrude. Do you know where he is?

Nina. [With annoyance.] I know nothing! Good day. [Enters the house.]

Geltrude. What manners! – Crispino!

Crispino. [Rises.] Madame?

Geltrude. Do you know where to find Signor Evarist?

Crispino. No, Madame, in truth I do not.

Geltrude. Do me the favour to go and see if he is in the inn.

Crispino. Certainly. [Goes towards the inn.]

Susanna. [Softly.] Signora Geltrude!

Geltrude. What would you?

Susanna. One word.

Geltrude. Do you know nothing about Signor Evarist?

Susanna. Ah, Madame, I know many things. I have many things to tell you.

Geltrude. Alas! I too have much to disquiet me; I have seen letters that surprise me! Speak, enlighten me if you can.

Susanna. But here, in public! Shall I not come to your house?

Geltrude. I first want to see Signor Evarist.

Susanna. Will you then step into my shop?

Geltrude. Yes, rather let us do that. But first let us await Signor Evarist.

Susanna. There he is!

Crispino. [From the inn.] He is not there. They expected him to dinner, and he has not come.

Geltrude. Yet he must have come back from shooting.

Crispino. Oh yes, he came back; I saw him.

Geltrude. Where can he be?

Susanna. He is not at the café either.

Crispino. Nor at the apothecary's.

Geltrude. Let us search a little. The village is not so large. Look about, we must discover him.

Crispino. I will set off at once!

Geltrude. If you find him, tell him I want much to speak to him, and that I wait for him in Susanna's shop.

[Crispino goes.]

Geltrude. [Enters Susanna's shop.] Now I am ready and anxious to hear you.

Susanna. Well, well, you will hear nice things.

Crispino. There is something wrong about this Signor Evarist. And then this fan – I am glad I have got it. Coronato noticed it was gone, I suppose. He is scarcely likely to suspect me. No one will have told him that I went to buy some wine. I went just in time. I found the fan a-top of the barrel. Silly fellow! And while his man filled my flask, I pocketed the fan! I shall take pretty good care not to confess that I took it. He is capable of calling me a thief. But where am I to look for this gentleman? Not at the Count's, for he is dining in there. In the village? I am sorry I am not enlightened as to Susanna's meaning. But I will get to the bottom of it. And if I find Nina guilty – Well, and what shall I do then? Cast her off? I don't know. I love her too much. What can it all be?

Scene IVCrispino and Limonato from the café. Then Coronato

Crispino. Do you know where Signor Evarist is?

Limonato. I! why should I? I am not his servant.

Crispino. Don't excite yourself thus. Might he not happen to be at your place?

Limonato. Then you would see him.

Crispino. Out upon you, you lemonade manufacturer!

Limonato. What does this mean?

Crispino. Wait till your shoes want cobbling again.

[Exit.

Limonato. The wretch! Shall I tell him Signor Evarist is in our garden? No, he is only just comforted, why disturb him again? Hi, host!

Coronato. [At his door.] What would you?

Limonato. Signor Evarist sends me. Tell the Baron he is not to wait dinner for him; he is busy, and does not wish to be disturbed.

Coronato. Tell him the notice comes too late. The Baron has nearly done his dinner.

Limonato. All right. [About to go.]

Coronato. And if you hear that some one has found a fan, let me know.

Limonato. With pleasure. Have you lost one?

Coronato. Yes; I don't know how. A rogue carried it off, and my stupid cellarman can't tell me who came to fetch wine. But if I discover him, then – Good-day.

[Exit.

Limonato. I will do my best.

[Exit.Scene V The Count at the window of the inn. The above

Count. I heard Limonato's voice. Hi, Limonato!

Limonato. Sir?

Count. Two cups of coffee!

Limonato. Excuse me, for whom?

Count. For me and the Baron. [Disappears.]

Limonato. At once! – [Aside.] Now I know the Baron is inside and pays, he shall have the coffee.

Nina. Hi, Limonato!

Limonato. And what do you want?

Nina. Is Signor Evarist still with you?

Limonato. How with me?

Nina. Yes, with you.

Limonato. There is the café, if he were there, you would see him.

Nina. Bah! I mean in the garden.

Limonato. Bah! I don't know anything.

[Exit.

Nina. Rude fellow! And people say I am irritable! How can I help it, when all tease, all maltreat me? – those ladies, that creature over there, Coronato, Moracchio, Limonato, and Crispino. I can bear it no longer.

Scene VIEvarist running excitedly out of the café. The above

Evarist. [To Nina.] There she is, there she is! Now I am happy!

Nina. What does this joy mean?

Evarist. Oh, Nina, I am the happiest, the most contented man in the world!

Nina. I am glad to hear it. I hope, then, you will make up to me for all I have had to endure on your account.

Evarist. Anything you wish! Know, Nina, that they suspected that I loved you. Signorina Candida knew I had given you the fan, thought I had bought it for you, was jealous of me, was jealous of you!

Nina. Was jealous of me?

Evarist. Precisely; and to avenge herself, and in despair, she was about to marry another. She saw me, and fell down lifeless in a faint. Happily, a moment after her aunt left the house, Candida went into the garden. I climbed over the hedge, sprang over the wall, fell at her feet, wept, swore, implored, called all the saints to witness, and convinced her. She is mine, is mine, and will be mine in all eternity!

Nina. I congratulate you. I am glad to hear it, sir.

Evarist. One only condition she makes in order to be quite convinced of my love.

Nina. And that is? —

Evarist. In order that I may justify myself and you also, it is needful that you give her the fan.

Nina. Oh dear, oh dear!

Evarist. My honour and your own are at stake. It would seem otherwise as if I had really bought the fan for you. She must be relieved of every suspicion. I know you are a sensible girl, therefore give me back that fan.

Nina. But, sir, I have it no longer.

Evarist. Why tell this lie? I gave it you, and I would not ask it back did not my whole life's happiness hang on it. I will buy you another, far better and more beautiful. But, for Heaven's sake, give me back that fan, and quickly too!

Nina. Oh, if I but had it!

Evarist. Nina, I repeat, our honour is at stake.

Nina. I swear I no longer have the fan!

Evarist. Oh, heavens! And what did you do with it?

Nina. Oh, they knew I had the fan, and forced me to give it up by violence.

Evarist. Who?

Nina. My brother.

Evarist. [Goes towards the house and calls.] Moracchio!

Nina. No, stop! He has not got it!

Evarist. Who, then?

Nina. He gave it to Crispino.

Evarist. [Runs towards the workshop.] Crispino!

Nina. Stop and listen, I say!

Evarist. I am beside myself.

Nina. Crispino no longer has it either.

Evarist. Heaven and hell, who has it then? Quick!

Nina. That rogue of a Coronato.

Evarist. Coronato! hi, host, Coronato!

Coronato. Yes, sir?

Evarist. Give here that fan.

Coronato. What fan?

Nina. That which you stole.

Evarist. Out with it! Quick!