The Comedies of Carlo Goldoni

Count. [Coming out of Geltrude's house.] Peace, peace! quiet there, I command! – I, you villains, the Count Rocca Marina! Ho there, peace, I say, you rogues!

Crispino. [To Coronato.] Well, to please the Count.

Coronato. Yes, thank the Count, for but for him I would have broken all the bones in your body.

Count. Quiet, quiet, it is enough! I would know the reason of the strife. Go away, you others. I am here, no one else is needed.

Timoteo. Is no one hurt?

[Limonato and Scavezzo depart.]

Count. You wish that they had cracked their skulls, contorted their arms, disjointed their legs, is it not so, Apothecary, to show us a specimen of your talents and powers?

Timoteo. I seek no one's ill; but if there were wounded to heal, cripples to succour, breakages to bind up, I would gladly help them. Above all, I would with all my heart serve your worship in such an eventuality.

Count. Impertinent fellow! I will have you removed.

Timoteo. Honest men are not removed so easily.

Count. Yes, one removes ignorant, impudent impostors of apothecaries like you.

Timoteo. I am astonished to hear you talk thus, Count – you who without my pills would be dead.

Count. Insolent fellow!

Timoteo. And those pills you have not yet paid for.

[Exit.

Coronato. [Aside.] Here the Count might be of use to me.

Count. Well, now, my men, tell me what is the matter, what is the reason for your quarrels?

Crispino. I will tell you, sir – I will tell it before all the world. I love Nina.

Coronato. And Nina will be my wife.

Count. [Laughing.] Ah ha! I understand: a love quarrel; two champions of Cupid, two worthy rivals, two pretenders to the lovely Venus of our village.

Crispino. If you think to make fun of me – [Moves to go away.]

Count. No, stay.

Coronato. The matter is serious, I assure you.

Count. Yes, I believe it. You are lovers, you are rivals. By Jupiter, what a combination! Why, the very theme of the fable I was reading to Signora Geltrude just now. [Points to his book.] "There was a maiden of rare beauty" —

Crispino. I understand. With your permission —

Count. Where are you going? Come here!

Crispino. If you will allow me, I go to finish cobbling your shoes.

Count. Yes, go, that they may be ready by to-morrow.

Coronato. And be careful that they are not patched with old leather.

Crispino. I shall come to you when I want a fresh skin.

Coronato. Thank Heaven I am no cobbler nor shoemaker!

Crispino. It does not matter, you will give me a horse's skin or a cat's.

Coronato. [Aside.] I know I shall kill that man.

Count. What did he say of cats? Do you give us cats to eat?

Coronato. Sir, I am an honest man, and this person is a rogue who persecutes me unjustly.

Count. The effect of love, of rivalry. So you are in love with Nina?

Coronato. Yes, sir, and I was about to seek your protection.

Count. My protection? [Gives himself an important air.] Well, we will see. Are you sure she loves you in return?

Coronato. To tell the truth, I fancy she loves him better than me.

Count. That is bad.

Coronato. But I have her brother's word.

Count. A thing not much to be relied on.

Coronato. Moracchio has promised it to me most faithfully.

Count. So far so good, but you cannot force a woman.

Coronato. Her brother can dispose of her.

Count. [Hotly.] It is not true. Her brother cannot dispose of her.

Coronato. But your protection.

Count. My protection is all well and good. My protection is valid, my protection is powerful. But a nobleman, such as I, does not arbitrate nor dispose of a woman's heart.

Coronato. But, after all, she is a peasant.

Count. What does that matter? A woman's ever a woman. I distinguish the grades, the conditions, but as a whole I respect the sex.

Coronato. [Aside.] I understand. Your protection is worthless.

Count. How are you off for wine? have you a good supply?

Coronato. I have some that is quite perfect, good and exquisite.

Count. I shall come and taste it. Mine has turned out ill this year.

Coronato. [Aside.] It is two years that he has sold it.

Count. If yours is good, I will take a supply.

Coronato. [Aside.] I do not care for this patronage.

Count. Do you hear?

Coronato. Yes, I hear.

Count. Tell me one thing: if I were to speak to the girl, and induced her by explanations —

Coronato. Your words might do something in my favour.

Count. After all, you deserve to be preferred.

Coronato. It seems to me, too, that between me and Crispino —

Count. Oh, there is no comparison! – a man like you, educated, well dressed, a respectable person.

Coronato. You are too kind.

Count. I respect women, it is true, but just because of that, treating them as I treat them, I assure you, they do for me what they would do for no one else.

Coronato. It is that which I thought too, but you wanted to make me doubt.

Count. I do like the lawyers, who start by making difficulties. Friend, you are a man who has a good inn, who can afford to maintain a wife decently. Have confidence in me, I will take up your cause.

Coronato. I beg your protection.

Count. I accord it. I promise it.

Coronato. If you would put yourself out to come and taste my wine —

Count. Most gladly, good man. [Puts his hand on his shoulder.]

Coronato. [Aside.] Two or three barrels of wine will not be ill spent here.

END OF THE FIRST ACT

ACT II

Scene ISusanna alone, comes out of her house and arranges her wares

Susanna. Bad times, little business to be done in this village. I have as yet sold but one fan, and that I have given for a price – really just to get rid of it. The people who can spend take their supplies in the city. From the poor there is little to earn. I am a fool to lose my time here in the midst of these peasants, without manners, without respect, who do not know the difference between a shopwoman of education and those who sell milk, salad, and eggs. My town education stands me no stead in the country. All equal, all companions, Susanna, Nina, Margherita, Lucia; the shopkeeper, the goatherd, the peasant, all one. The two ladies yonder are a little more considered, but little, very little. As for that impertinent Nina, because she is a little favoured by the gentry, she thinks she is something great. They have given her a fan. What will a peasant girl do with such a fan? Cut a dash, eh! the minx must fan herself, thus. Much good may it do you! Why, it's ridiculous, and yet these things at times make me rage. I, who have been well educated, I can't tolerate such absurdities. [Seats herself and works.]

Scene IICandida, who comes out of the mansion

Candida. I shan't be at peace till I have cleared it up. I saw Evarist coming out of the shop and go to Nina, and certainly he gave her something. I must see if Susanna can tell me something. Yes, aunt is right, "Mistrust all strangers." Poor me! If he prove unfaithful! It is my first love. I have loved none but him. [Advances towards Susanna.]

Susanna. [Rises.] Ah, Signorina Candida, your humble servant.

Candida. Good day, Susanna. What are you working at so busily?

Susanna. I am making a cap.

Candida. To sell?

Susanna. To sell, but Heaven knows when.

Candida. It might be that I need a nightcap.

Susanna. I have some in stock. Will you see them?

Candida. No, no, there is no hurry. Another time.

Susanna. Will you take a seat? [Offers her chair.]

Candida. And you?

Susanna. Oh, I will fetch another chair. [She goes into the shop and brings out a second chair.] Pray sit here, you will be more comfortable.

Candida. You sit down also and go on working.

Susanna. [Does so.] What an honour you afford me! One sees at once you are well-born. He who is well-born despises no one. The peasants here are proud, and Nina especially.

Candida. Speaking of Nina, did you notice her when Signor Evarist spoke to her?

Susanna. Whether I noticed? I should think so.

Candida. He had a long confab with her.

Susanna. Do you know what happened after? Such a fight as there was!

Candida. I heard a noise, an angry discussion. They told me Crispino and Coronato were at loggerheads.

Susanna. Precisely, and all because of this beauty, this treasure.

Candida. But why?

Susanna. Jealousy between themselves, jealousy because of Signor Evarist.

Candida. Do you think Signor Evarist has any friendship for Nina?

Susanna. I know nothing. I do not concern myself about others' affairs, and think ill of no one; but if the host and the shoemaker are jealous of him, they must have their reasons.

Candida. [Aside.] Alas! the argument is but too true, to my prejudice.

Susanna. Excuse me, I should not like to make a mistake.

Candida. In what?

Susanna. I hope that you take no interest in Signor Evarist?

Candida. I? Oh, none whatever! I know him because he sometimes comes to the house, and is a friend of my aunt's.

Susanna. Then I will tell you the truth. [Aside.] I do not think this can offend her. I almost thought that between you and Signor Evarist there was some understanding, – of course permissible and respectable, – but since he was with me this morning, I am of another opinion.

Candida. He was with you this morning?

Susanna. Yes. He came to buy a fan.

Candida. [Eagerly.] He bought a fan?

Susanna. Precisely; and as I had seen that you had broken yours, so to speak, on his account, I at once said to myself, He buys it to give it to the Signorina Candida.

Candida. So he bought it for me?

Susanna. Oh no, Signorina. I will confess to you I took the liberty of asking him if he were buying it for you. He replied in a manner as if I had offended him, "That is not my business; what is there between me and the Signorina Candida? I have destined it elsewhere."

Candida. And what did he do with this fan?

Susanna. What did he do with it? He gave it to Nina.

Candida. [Aside.] Oh, I am lost! I am miserable!

Susanna. [Observing her agitation.] Signorina Candida!

Candida. [Aside.] Ungrateful, unfaithful, and for whom? – for a peasant girl!

Susanna. [With insistence.] Signorina Candida!

Candida. [Aside.] The offence is insupportable.

Susanna. [Aside.] Poor me! What have I done? – Signorina Candida, calm yourself, it may not be thus.

Candida. Do you believe he gave the fan to Nina?

Susanna. Oh, as to that, I saw it with my own eyes.

Candida. And then you say it may not be thus?

Susanna. I do not know – I do not wish that by my fault —

Scene III The above. Geltrude at the door of the villa

Susanna. See, there is your aunt.

Candida. For Heaven's sake, say nothing!

Susanna. Do not fear. – [Aside.] And she would have me believe she does not love him! It's her own fault. Why did she not tell me the truth?

Geltrude. What are you doing here, niece?

[Candida and Susanna rise.]

Susanna. She is condescending to accord me her company.

Candida. I came to see if she sold nightcaps.

Susanna. Yes, it is true, she asked me about some. Oh, do not fear that your niece is not safe with me. I am no chatterbox, and my house is most respectable.

Geltrude. Do not justify yourself without being accused.

Susanna. I am very sensitive, Signora.

Geltrude. Why did you not tell me you needed a nightcap?

Candida. You were in your writing-room, and I did not wish to disturb you.

Susanna. Would you like to see it? I will go and get it. I pray, sit down. [Gives her chair to Geltrude, and goes into the shop.]

Geltrude. [Seating herself, to Candida.] Have you heard nothing of this encounter between the shoemaker and the host?

Candida. They say it is a matter of love and jealousy. They say Nina is the cause.

Geltrude. I am sorry, for she is a good girl.

Candida. Oh, aunt, excuse me; I have heard things about her of a nature that would make it better we should no longer let her come to the house.

Geltrude. Why? What have they told you?

Candida. I will tell you after. Do as I do, aunt; don't receive her any more, and you will do well.

Geltrude. Since she came more often to see you than to see me, I leave you free to treat her as you please.

Candida. [Aside.] The minx! she will not have the impudence to appear before me.

Susanna. [Returning.] Here are the caps, ladies; see, choose, and content yourselves. [All three occupied with the caps, and speaking softly among themselves.]

Scene IV The above. The Count and the Baron come out of the inn

Count. I am glad you have confided in me. Leave the rest to me, and do not fear.

Baron. I know you are Signora Geltrude's friend.

Count. Oh, friend! – well, I will tell you. She is a lady who has some talents; I like literature, I converse with her more willingly than with any other. For the rest, she is a poor city dame. Her husband left her this wretched house and some acres of ground, and, in order to be respected in this village, she needs my protection.

Baron. Long live the Count who protects widows and fair ladies!

Count. What would you have? In this world one must be good for something.

Baron. Then you will do me the favour —

Count. Do not fear, I will speak to her; I will ask her niece's hand for a cavalier, who is my friend, and when I have asked her I am sure she will not have the courage to say no.

Baron. Tell her who I am.

Count. To what purpose, when it is I who ask?

Baron. But you ask for me.

Count. For you.

Baron. You know precisely who I am.

Count. How should I not know your titles, your faculties, your honours! Oh, we members of the aristocracy all know each other.

Baron. [Aside.] How I should laugh at him if I had not need of him!

Count. My dear colleague!

Baron. What is it?

Count. Behold Signora Geltrude and her niece.

Baron. They are busy; I do not think they have seen us.

Count. Certainly not. If Signora Geltrude had seen me, she would have moved instantly.

Baron. When will you speak to her?

Count. At once if you like.

Baron. It is not well I should be there. Speak to her. I will wait at the apothecary's. I am in your hands.

Count. Good-bye, dear colleague and friend.

Baron. Good-bye, beloved colleague. [Embraces him.] [Aside.] He is the maddest March hare in the world.

Count. [Calling aloud.] Signora Geltrude!

Geltrude. [Rising.] Oh, Count, excuse me! I did not see you.

Count. I beg, give me a word.

Susanna. Pray approach. My shop is at your service.

Count. No, no; I have something private to say. Excuse the trouble, but I beg you come here.

Geltrude. In a moment. Allow me to pay for a cap I have bought, and then I am at your disposal. [Pulls out a purse to pay Susanna, and to prolong the moment.]

Count. What! you would pay at once! I never had that vice.

Scene VCoronato comes out of the inn with Scavezzo, who carries a barrel of wine on his shoulders

Coronato. Honoured sir, this is the barrel of wine for you.

Count. And the second?

Coronato. After this I will bring the second. Where shall we take it?

Count. To my palace.

Coronato. To whom shall I consign it?

Count. To my steward, if he is there.

Coronato. I am afraid he is not there.

Count. Give it to any one you find.

Coronato. All right. Let us go.

Scavezzo. The Count will give me some drink money.

Count. Take care not to drink my wine, and don't put water to it. – [To Coronato.] Don't let him go alone.

Coronato. Never fear, never fear! I go too.

Scavezzo. [Aside.] No, no, don't fear; between the master and me we have prepared it by now.

[Exit.

Geltrude. [Who has paid, advances towards the Count. Susanna is seated, and works. Candida remains seated. They whisper together.] Here I am, Count, and what is it you wish?

Count. In a few words, will you give me your niece?

Geltrude. Give? What do you mean by give?

Count. What? don't you understand? In marriage.

Geltrude. To you?

Count. Not to me, but to a person I know and propose.

Geltrude. I will tell you, Count: you know my niece has lost her parents, and, being the daughter of my only brother, I have undertaken to fill for her a mother's place.

Count. All these, excuse me, are useless discourses.

Geltrude. Excuse me. Let me come to my point.

Count. Well, what then?

Geltrude. Candida has not inherited enough from her father to suffice to marry her in her own rank.

Count. It does not matter; it is no question of that here.

Geltrude. Let me finish. My husband left me an ample provision.

Count. I know.

Geltrude. I have no children.

Count. And you will give her a dowry?

Geltrude. Yes, when the match shall meet her favour.

Count. Oh yes, that is the needful point. But I am proposing this match, and when I propose, it must meet her favour.

Geltrude. I am certain that the Count is incapable of proposing other than an acceptable person, but I hope he will do me the honour to tell me who this person is.

Count. A colleague of mine.

Geltrude. What! a colleague! What does that mean?

Count. A nobleman, like yourself.

Geltrude. Signore —

Count. Do not raise objections.

Geltrude. Pray let me speak. If you will not let me, I shall go.

Count. Come, come, be gracious! Speak, I listen. I am amiable, complaisant with ladies. I listen to you.

Geltrude. I will tell you what I feel in a few words. A title makes the honour of a house, but not of a person. I do not think my niece is ambitious, nor am I inclined to sacrifice her to the idol of vanity.

Count. [Laughing.] Ah, one sees that you read fables.

Geltrude. Such feelings are not learnt from fables nor novels. Nature inspires them and education cultivates them.

Count. Nature, education, all you will. He whom I propose is the Baron del Cedro.

Geltrude. The Baron is in love with my niece?

Count. Oui, Madame.

Geltrude. I know him and respect him.

Count. You see what a good match I propose to you.

Geltrude. He is a gentleman of merit.

Count. And my colleague.

Geltrude. He is perhaps a trifle free of speech, but without harm.

Count. Well, now, your answer, I beg?

Geltrude. Adagio, adagio, Count. Such matters are not decided all in a moment. I should like the Baron to have the goodness to speak to me.

Count. Excuse me, if I say a thing, there can be no doubt about it. I woo on his behalf, and he has begged my intercession, implored me – And I speak to you, beg you – that is to say, I do not beg you, I demand of you —

Geltrude. Let us admit that the Baron is in earnest.

Count. By Jupiter, what is this we are to admit? the thing is certain when I say so.

Geltrude. Admitted, then, that the thing is certain. The Baron desires her, you demand her. It is always needful I should ask Candida if she assents.

Count. She cannot know about it unless you tell her.

Geltrude. [Ironically.] Have the goodness to believe that I shall tell her.

Count. Here she comes. Speak to her about it.

Geltrude. I will speak to her.

Count. Go, then, and I will wait you here.

Geltrude. [Bowing.] Excuse me. – [Aside.] If the Baron is in earnest, it would indeed be a piece of good luck for my niece, but I doubt. [Goes towards Susanna.]

Count. Ha, ha! with my good manners I attain from people all I want. [Takes a book from his pocket, seats himself, and reads.]

Geltrude. Candida, I have to speak to you. Let us take a turn.

Susanna. Will you go into my little garden? You will be quite free there.

Geltrude. Yes, let us go there, because I must come back here at once.

Candida. [Aside.] What can she want to tell me? I am too miserable to expect any good news. [Both into the shop.]

Count. She is capable of keeping me waiting here for an hour. It is well that I have this book to entertain me. What a beautiful thing is literature! A man with a good book to hand is never alone. [Reads.]

Scene VICount. Nina comes out of her house

Nina. Well, one good thing, the dinner is ready, so when that fellow Moracchio comes he can't scold me. No one is looking. I had better go now and take the fan to Signorina Candida. If I can give it her without her aunt seeing, I will; if not, I'll wait another chance.

Count. Why, Nina, Nina. Ho, here, my girl! [Goes towards the villa.]

Nina. Signore. [Turns to look at him.]

Count. A word.

Nina. [Aside.] I did not need this impediment.

Count. [Aside.] I must not neglect Coronato. I have promised him my protection, and he merits it. [Gets up and puts aside his book.]

Nina. Here I am. What would you, sir?

Count. Where were you going?

Nina. To do my own business, sir.

Count. What! You reply like that to me, with such audacity, such impertinence?

Nina. How would you have me speak? I speak as I know how; I am not used to converse. I speak like that with every one, and no one has told me I am impertinent.

Count. You must distinguish the people with whom you speak.

Nina. I don't know how to distinguish. If you want something, say it! If you want to amuse yourself, I have no time to lose with your worship.

Count. Come hither.

Nina. I am here.

Count. Would you like to marry?