The Comedies of Carlo Goldoni

Ang. What goodness!

Mad. What a heart!

Dal. What an example!

Mar. Bless my master!

Dor. Bless my good friend!

[All surround him, overwhelm him with caresses, and repeat his praises.]

Ger. [Trying to rid himself of them, shouts] Peace! peace! Piccardo!

Enter Piccardo.

Pic. Here, sir.

Ger. We shall sup in my room; all are invited. Dorval, in the meantime we'll have a game of chess.

THE FAN

(IL VENTAGLIO)A COMEDY IN THREE ACTSDRAMATIS PERSONÆ

Count Rocca Marina.

Baron del Cedro.

Signor Evarist.

Signora Geltrude, a widow.

Candida, her niece.

Coronato, an innkeeper.

Moracchio, a peasant.

Nina, his sister.

Susanna, a small shopkeeper.

Crispino, a shoemaker.

Timoteo, an apothecary.

Limonato, a waiter.

Tognino, servant to the two ladies.

Scavezzo, boots to the innkeeper.

Scene of action, a little village near Milan

ACT I

[An open space bounded at the back by a house bearing the inscription Osteria (Inn). Houses to right and left; on the left a gentleman's mansion with a low projecting terrace. The foremost house has the word Café upon a swinging shield; before its main door and windows stand small tables and chairs. It has also a back door which adjoins a little pharmacy. At the end of the right-hand side of houses, a small general store. The inn has a restaurant on the ground-floor, and on the left a small shoemaker's workshop. Right and left, between the inn and the side houses, runs the street.]

Scene I

[Evarist and the Baron sit towards the front at a little table drinking coffee. Limonato serves them. Crispino is cobbling in his booth, near to him Coronato sitting beside his door, writing in a note-book. The Boots cleans the restaurant windows. In the middle of the stage sits the Count reading a book. He is dressed in a white summer costume, while the Baron and Evarist are in shooting dress, with their guns beside them. Geltrude and Candida on the terrace, knitting. To the right Tognino is sweeping the square, Nina is spinning before her house door, beside her stands Moracchio holding two hunting dogs by a cord. Every now and again Timoteo puts his head out of the pharmacy; in the background Susanna, sewing before her shop. A pause after the rise of the curtain. All absorbed in their occupations. Crispino hammers energetically upon a shoe at which he is working. Timoteo is pounding loudly in a mortar, therefore invisible.]

Evarist. How do you like this coffee?

Baron. It is good.

Evarist. I find it excellent. Bravo, Limonato! to-day you have surpassed yourself.

Limonato. I thank you for the praise, but I do beg of you not to call me by this name of Limonato.

Evarist. I like that! Why, all know you by that name! You are famed by the name of Limonato. All the world says, "Let us go to the village and drink coffee at Limonato's." And that vexes you?

Limonato. Sir, it is not my name.

Baron. Eh, what! From to-day onwards I will call you Mr. Orange.

Limonato. I will not be the butt of all the world.

[Candida laughs aloud.]

Evarist. What think you, Signorina Candida? [He takes up a fan which Candida has put down on the parapet of the terrace and fans himself, replacing it.]

Candida. What should I think? Why, it makes one laugh.

Geltrude. Leave the poor creature in peace; he makes good coffee, and is under my patronage.

Baron. Oh, if he is under the patronage of the Signora Geltrude, we must respect him. [Whispers to Evarist.] Do you hear? The good widow protects him.

Evarist. [Softly to the Baron.] Do not speak evil of the Signora Geltrude. She is the wisest and most reputed lady in all the world.

Baron. [As above.] As you like; but she has the same craze for patronizing as the Count over there, who is reading with the very mien of a judge.

Evarist. Oh, as regards him, you are not wrong. He is a very caricature, but it would be unjust to compare him with the Signora Geltrude.

Baron. For my part, I think them both ridiculous.

Evarist. And what do you find ridiculous in the lady?

Baron. Too much instruction, too much pride, too much self-sufficiency.

Evarist. Excuse me, then you do not know her.

Baron. I much prefer Signorina Candida.

[After having carried on this talk in half tones, they both rise to pay. Each protests to theother, the Baron forestalls Evarist. Limonatoreturns to the shop with the cups andmoney. Timoteo pounds yet louder.]

Evarist. Yes, it is true. The niece is an excellent person. [Aside.] I would not have him as a rival.

Count. Hi, Timoteo!

Timoteo. Who called me?

Count. When will you cease pounding?

Timoteo. Excuse me. [Pounds on.]

Count. I cannot read, you crack my skull.

Timoteo. Excuse me, I shall have done directly. [Continues yet louder.]

Crispino. [Laughs aloud as he works.] Hi, Coronato!

Coronato. What would you, Master Crispino?

Crispino. [Beating hard on a sole he has in hand.] The Count does not wish us to make a noise. [Beats yet louder on his shoe.]

Count. What impudence! Will you never end this worry?

Crispino. Does not the Count see what I am doing?

Count. And what are you doing?

Crispino. Mending your old shoes.

Count. Quiet, impudent fellow! [Continues to read.]

Crispino. [Beats on and Timoteo also.] Host!

Count. Now, I can bear it no longer. [He rises from his seat.]

Scavezzo. Hi, Moracchio!

Moracchio. What is it, Boots?

Scavezzo. The Count.

[Both laugh and mock at the Count.]

Moracchio. Quiet, quiet! after all, he is a gentleman.

Scavezzo. A strange one.

Nina. Moracchio!

Moracchio. What do you want?

Nina. What did Scavezzo say?

Moracchio. Nothing, nothing. Attend to your own affairs, and spin.

Nina. [Turns away her chair with contempt, and goes on spinning.] My good brother is truly as amiable as ever. He always treats me thus. I can hardly await the hour when I shall marry.

Susanna. What is the matter, Nina?

Nina. Oh, if you knew! In all the world I don't think there is a greater boor than my brother.

Moracchio. I am as I am, and as long as you are under me —

Nina. [Pouts and spins.] Not much longer, I hope.

Evarist. [To Moracchio.] Now, what is it all about again? You are always teasing that poor child, and she does not deserve it, poor thing.

Nina. He makes me wild with anger.

Moracchio. She wants to know everything.

Evarist. Come, come, it will do now.

Baron. [To Candida.] Signor Evarist is kind-hearted.

Candida. [With disdain.] It seems so also to me.

Geltrude. [To Candida.] Look to yourself, child. We do nought but criticise the actions of others, and do not take care of our own.

Baron. [Aside.] There, these are the sort of doctrines I can't abide to hear.

Crispino. [Aside while he works.] Poor Nina! But once she is my wife, he won't tease her any more.

Coronato. [Aside.] Yes, I will marry her, and if it were only to free her from the brother.

Evarist. Well, Baron, shall we go?

Baron. To tell you the truth, this morning I do not feel like going shooting. I am tired from yesterday.

Evarist. Do as you like. You will excuse me if I go?

Baron. Do not let me detain you. [Aside.] So much the better for me. I will try my luck with Signorina Candida.

Evarist. Moracchio! we will go. Call the dogs and take your gun.

Baron. [To Evarist.] You come back to dinner?

Evarist. Certainly. I have ordered it already.

Baron. Then I will await you. Au revoir, ladies. [Aside.] I will go to my room, so as to rouse no suspicions.

Scene II The above. Moracchio comes back

Moracchio. Here I am, sir, with the dogs and the gun.

Evarist. If you allow, ladies, I will go shooting a while.

Geltrude. Pray do as you please, and enjoy yourself.

Candida. And good luck.

Evarist. Accompanied by your good wishes, I must be lucky. [He busies himself with his gun.]

Candida. [Aside.] Signor Evarist is really amiable.

Geltrude. Yes, amiable and well-mannered. But, niece, distrust all strangers.

Candida. Why should I mistrust him?

Geltrude. For some time since I have had my reasons for this.

Candida. I have always been reserved.

Geltrude. Yes, I am content with you. Continue to be reserved towards him.

Candida. [Aside.] This warning comes too late. I am deeply enamoured of him.

Evarist. All is right. Come, Moracchio. Once more, ladies, your humble servant.

[Geltrude bows. Candida the same. In doingso her fan falls into the street. Evaristpicks it up.]

Candida. Oh, never mind.

Geltrude. Do not trouble.

Evarist. The fan is broken. How sorry I am!

Candida. What does it matter? – an old fan!

Evarist. Well, if you allow. [Gives the fan to Tognino, who takes it into the house.]

Candida. There, aunt, you see how it vexes him that the fan is broken.

Geltrude. Good manners demand this. [Aside.] Here love is in play.

Scene III The above. Tognino on the terrace. He hands the fan to Candida

Evarist. I am vexed that this fan broke on my account, but I will make it good. [To Susanna.] I should like to speak to you, but inside the shop. [To Moracchio.] Go on ahead, and wait for me at the edge of the wood. [With Susanna into the shop.]

Moracchio. [To himself.] I call this waste of time. Out upon these gentlemen sportsmen.

[Exit.

Nina. [To herself.] So much the better that my brother has at last gone. I can scarcely await the moment to be alone with Crispino. But this tiresome man, the host, is always around. He follows me perpetually, and I can't abide him.

Count. [Reading.] Oh, beautiful, beautiful! [To Geltrude.] Signora!

Crispino. What have you read that is interesting, Count?

Count. What does that matter to you? What do you understand about it?

Crispino. [Hammering.] Who knows who knows most?

Geltrude. You called me, Count?

Count. You a lady of taste, oh, if you heard what I have just read! A masterpiece!

Geltrude. Something historical?

Count. Bah!

Geltrude. A philosophical discussion?

Count. Bah!

Geltrude. A poem?

Count. Bah!

Geltrude. What then?

Count. Something astonishing, unheard of, translated from the French! A fable.

Crispino. A fable! Astonishing! Unheard of! [He hammers hard.]

Count. Would you like to hear?

Geltrude. Gladly.

Crispino. Why, he reads fables like little children! [Hammers.]

Count. Will you at last leave off your noise?

Crispino. [Hammering on.] I am putting a patch on your shoe.

[Timoteo pestles.]

Count. The devil's own noise! And you too?

Timoteo. [Puts his head outside the pharmacy.] It is my business.

Count. [Reads.] "There was once a lovely maiden" – [To Timoteo.] Go to the devil with your mortar! It is not to be borne.

Timoteo. I pay my rent, and have no better place in which to pound. [Goes on.]

Count. If you will allow, signora, I will take the liberty of coming up to you. You will then hear the beautiful fable. [Goes into the house.]

Geltrude. This chemist is too tiresome. Let us go and receive the Count.

Candida. I don't care to hear his fables.

Geltrude. But good manners demand it.

Candida. Out upon this Count!

Geltrude. Niece, honour that you may be honoured. Come. [She goes into the house.]

Candida. [Rising to follow her.] To please you.

Scene IV The above without the Count and Geltrude. Evarist and Susanna come out of the shop

Candida. What! Signor Evarist still here? Not gone shooting? I should like to know the reason. [Watches him from the back of the terrace.]

Susanna. Do not complain, sir, the fan is cheap.

Evarist. [Aside.] Candida is no longer here. [Aloud.] I am sorry that the fan is not more beautiful.

Susanna. That was the last of those of the first quality. Now my shop is emptied. [Smiling.] I suppose it is a present?

Evarist. Certainly. I do not buy fans for myself.

Susanna. For Signorina Candida, because hers broke?

Evarist. [Impatiently.] No; for some one else.

Susanna. All right, all right. I am not curious. [Reseats herself in front of the shop to work.]

Candida. He has great secrets with the draper. I am curious to hear some details. [Approaches to the front.]

Evarist. [Approaching Nina.] Nina!

Nina. Your wishes, sir?

Evarist. A favour. I know Signorina Candida loves you.

Nina. Yes, she has pity on the poor orphan. But alas! I am subjected to my brother, who embitters my life.

Evarist. Listen to me.

Nina. [Spinning on.] Spinning does not make me deaf.

Evarist. [To himself.] Her brother is full of whims, but neither does she seem free of them.

[Susanna, Crispino, and Coronato stretch out their heads to observe the couple.]

Candida. Business with the shopwoman; business with Nina. I do not understand. [Comes forward yet more.]

Evarist. May I ask you a favour?

Nina. Have I not already answered you? Have I not told you to command? I am not deaf. If my spindle disturbs you, I will throw it aside. [Does so.]

Evarist. But how impetuous!

Candida. What does her anger signify?

Coronato. It seems to me they are getting hot. [Creeps to the front, his note-book in hand.]

Crispino. She throws aside her spindle. [Does the same with his shoe and hammer.]

Susanna. Would he give her a present were she less angry? [She too approaches from out the background.]

Nina. I am at your orders.

Evarist. You know that Signorina Candida broke her fan?

Nina. Why, certainly.

Evarist. I have bought a new one at the shop.

Nina. As you please.

Evarist. But Signora Geltrude must not know.

Nina. There you do wisely.

Evarist. And I wish that you should give her the fan secretly.

Nina. I cannot serve you.

Evarist. How unkind of you!

Candida. [To herself.] He told me he was going shooting, and he is still here.

Crispino. [Approaches, pretending to be at work.] If I could only hear something!

Coronato. [Approaches also, pretending to do accounts.] I can scarcely contain myself for curiosity.

Evarist. Why will you not do me this favour?

Nina. Because I want to know nothing about this matter.

Evarist. You take the matter too seriously. Candida loves you so much.

Nina. True, but in such matters —

Evarist. You told me you wanted to marry Crispino. [Turns and sees the two listeners.] What do you want here, you rogues?

Crispino. [Seating himself hastily.] I am working, sir.

Coronato. [Does the same.] Can I not reckon and walk around at the same time?

Candida. They are discussing important secrets.

Susanna. What is there about this Nina that all men are after her?

Nina. If you want nothing else of me, I will go on spinning. [Does so.]

Evarist. But listen, do! Candida has begged me to give you a dowry that you may wed your Crispino.

Nina. [Suddenly grows friendly.] Really?

Evarist. Yes; and I gave her my word that I would do all —

Nina. Where is the fan?

Evarist. Here.

Nina. Quick, quick, give it to me, but so that no one sees.

[Evarist gives her the fan.]

Crispino. [Advancing his head, to himself.] Ho, ho, he gave her something!

Susanna. [The same.] In very truth – he gives her the fan!

Coronato. [Ditto.] What could he have given her?

Candida. [Ditto.] Yes, he deceives me. The Count is right.

Evarist. But, mind, quite secretly.

Nina. Let me act, and do not fear.

Evarist. Addio.

Nina. My respects.

Evarist. Then I rely on you?

Nina. And I on you. [Seats herself and resumes her spinning.]

Evarist. [About to go, sees Candida on the terrace.] Ah, there she is again! I will tell her to be attentive. [Calls.] Signorina Candida!

[Candida turns her back to him and goes away.]

Evarist. What does this mean? Is it contempt? Does she despise me? Impossible! I know she loves me, and she knows my passion for her. And yet – no, now I understand! Her aunt will have seen and observed her, and she would not show before her. Yes, yes, it must be that, it cannot be anything else. But I must at last give up all this secrecy and talk with Signora Geltrude, and obtain from her the precious gift of her niece.

Nina. In truth, I owe the Signorina thanks that she interests herself in me. Shall I not repay her? These are little services one exchanges without any base thoughts in the rear.

Coronato. [Gets up and goes to Nina.] Hm, great secrets, great consultations with Signor Evarist?

Nina. What does not concern you, does not matter to you.

Coronato. Were that the case I should not interfere.

[Crispino approaches the couple quietly to listen.]

Nina. I am not subservient to you, Master Host.

Coronato. Not yet, but I hope soon.

Nina. Indeed! and who says so?

Coronato. He has said it and promised it and sworn it, and he can and may dispose of you.

Nina. [Laughing.] Perchance my brother?

Coronato. Yes, your brother; and I will tell him of all the secrets, the confidence, the presents —

Crispino. [Comes between them.] Ho, ho! what right have you to this girl?

Coronato. I owe you no answer.

Crispino. And you, what have you to discuss with Signor Evarist?

Nina. Leave me in peace, both of you.

Crispino. I will know!

Coronato. What, you will? Command where you may command. Nina is my betrothed, her brother has promised her to me.

Crispino. And I have her word, and the word of the sister is worth a thousand times more than that of the brother.

Coronato. She is as good as engaged to me.

Crispino. We will speak of this again. Nina, what did Signor Evarist give you?

Nina. Go to the devil with you!

Coronato. No answer! But stop, I saw him come out of Susanna's shop. She will tell me. [Goes towards Susanna.]

Crispino. He bought her a present. [He too goes to Susanna.]

Nina. [To herself.] I shall reveal nothing. But if Susanna —

Coronato. Neighbour, I beg you, what did Signor Evarist buy of you?

Susanna. [Laughing.] A fan.

Crispino. Do you know what he gave the girl?

Susanna. What could it be but the fan?

Nina. That is not true.

Susanna. Why, certainly it is!

Coronato. [To Nina.] Produce the fan.

Crispino. [Pushing him away.] Here I command! I must see the fan.

Coronato. [Raises his fist towards Crispino.] Wait a while.

Crispino. [Ditto.] Yes, you wait too.

Nina. [To Susanna.] It is all your fault.

Susanna. Mine?

Nina. Chatterbox!

Susanna. Oh ho! [Threatens her.]

Susanna. I go. Peasant girl, consort with your likes. [Retires into her shop.]

Crispino. But now I will see the fan.

Nina. I have not got one.

Coronato. What did the gentleman give you?

Nina. Your curiosity is impertinent.

Coronato. I will know.

Crispino. [To Coronato.] I tell you that does not concern you.

Nina. This is not the way to treat a respectable girl. [Goes towards her house.]

Crispino. [Approaching her.] Tell me, Nina.

Nina. No.

Coronato. I must know. [He pushes Crispino aside.]

[Nina hurries into the house and shuts thedoor in both their faces.]

Coronato. It's your fault.

Crispino. Impudent fellow!

Coronato. Do not excite yourself.

Crispino. I do not fear you.

Coronato. Nina will be mine!

Crispino. We shall see about that. And should she be, I swear —

Coronato. What, threats! Do you not know to whom you speak?

Crispino. I am an honest man, as all know.

Coronato. And what am I, pray?

Crispino. I know nothing about it.

Coronato. I am an honoured innkeeper.

Crispino. Honoured?

Coronato. What! you doubt it?

Crispino. Oh, it is not I who doubt it.

Coronato. Who, then, may I ask?

Crispino. All the village.

Coronato. My good man, it is not about me that all talk. I do not sell old leather for new.

Crispino. Nor I water for wine; nor do I trap cats at night to sell them as lamb or hare.

Coronato. I swear to Heaven – [Raises his hand.]

Crispino. What! [Does the same.]

Coronato. The devil take me! [Feels in his pocket.]

Crispino. His hand in his pocket! [Runs to his booth to fetch an implement.]

Coronato. I have no knife.

[Crispino seizes the apothecary's chair andthreatens to hurl it at his adversary.Coronato takes up a bench and swingsit at Crispino.]Scene V The above. Timoteo, Scavezzo, Limonato, the Count

[Timoteo hurrying out of his shop, pestle in hand. Limonato, out of the café with a log of firewood. Scavezzo, out of the inn with a spit.]