Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour

Mereston

Don't you think a drive in the motor would do her good?

Lady Mereston

[Unable to control herself.] Oh, I have no patience with you. I never saw such a ridiculous infatuation in my life.

Paradine

Steady, old girl, steady.

Mereston

What on earth d'you mean, mother?

Lady Mereston

Presumably you're not going to deny that you're in love with that woman.

Mereston

[Growing pale.] Would you mind speaking of her as Lady Frederick?

Lady Mereston

You try me very much, Charlie. Please answer my question.

Mereston

I don't want to seem unkind to you, mother, but I think you have no right to ask about my private affairs.

Fouldes

If you're going to talk this matter over you're more likely to come to an understanding if you both keep your tempers.

Mereston

There's nothing I wish to discuss.

Lady Mereston

Don't be absurd, Charlie. You're with Lady Frederick morning, noon and night. She can never stir a yard from the hotel but you go flying after. You pester her with your ridiculous attentions.

Fouldes

[Blandly.] One's relations have always such an engaging frankness. Like a bad looking-glass, they always represent you with a crooked nose and a cast in your eye.

Lady Mereston

[To Mereston.] I have certainly a right to know what you mean by all this and what is going to come of it.

Mereston

I don't know what will come of it.

Fouldes

The question that excites our curiosity is this: are you going to ask Lady Frederick to marry you?

Mereston

I refuse to answer that. It seems to me excessively impertinent.

Fouldes

Come, come, my boy, you're too young to play the heavy father. We're both your friends. Hadn't you better make a clean breast of it? After all, your mother and I are interested in nothing so much as your welfare.

Lady Mereston

[Imploring.] Charlie!

Mereston

Of course I'd ask her to marry me if I thought for a moment that she'd accept. But I'm so terrified that she'll refuse, and then perhaps I shall never see her again.

Lady Mereston

The boy's stark, staring mad.

Mereston

I don't know what I should do if she sent me about my business. I'd rather continue in this awful uncertainty than lose all hope for ever.

Fouldes

By George. You're pretty far gone, my son. The lover who's diffident is in a much worse way than the lover who protests.

Lady Mereston

[With a little laugh.] I must say it amuses me that Lady Frederick should have had both my brother and my son dangling at her skirts. Your respective passions are separated by quite a number of years.

Mereston

Lady Frederick has already told me of that incident.

Fouldes

With the usual indiscretion of her sex.

Mereston

It appears that she was very unhappy and you, with questionable taste, made love to her.

Fouldes

Do your best not to preach at me, dear boy. It reminds me of your lamented father.

Mereston

And at last she promised to go away with you. You were to meet at Waterloo Station.

Fouldes

Such a draughty place for an assignation.

Mereston

Your train was to start at nine, and you were going to take the boat over to the Channel Isles.

Fouldes

Lady Frederick has a very remarkable memory. I remember hoping the sea wouldn't be rough.

Mereston

And just as the train was starting her eye fell on the clock. At that moment her child was coming down to breakfast and would ask for her. Before you could stop her she'd jumped out of the carriage. The train was moving, and you couldn't get out, so you were taken on to Weymouth – alone.

Lady Mereston

You must have felt a quite egregious ass, Paradine.

Fouldes

I did, but you need not rub it in.

Lady Mereston

Doesn't it occur to you, Charlie, that a woman who loves so easily can't be very worthy of your affection?

Mereston

But, my dear mother, d'you think she cared for my uncle?

Fouldes

What the dickens d'you mean?

Mereston

D'you suppose if she loved you she would have hesitated to come? D'you know her so little as that? She thought of her child only because she was quite indifferent to you.

Fouldes

[Crossly.] You know nothing about it, and you're an impertinent young jackanapes.

Lady Mereston

My dear Paradine, what can it matter if Lady Frederick was in love with you or not?

Fouldes

[Calming down.] Of course it doesn't matter a bit.

Lady Mereston

I have no doubt you mistook wounded vanity for a broken heart.

Fouldes

[Acidly.] My dear, you sometimes say things which explain to me why my brother-in-law so frequently abandoned his own fireside for the platform of Exeter Hall.

Mereston

It may also interest you to learn that I am perfectly aware of Lady Frederick's financial difficulties. I know she has two bills falling due to-morrow.

Fouldes

She's a very clever woman.

Mereston

I've implored her to let me lend her the money, and she absolutely refuses. You see, she's kept nothing from me at all.

Lady Mereston

My dear Charlie, it's a very old dodge to confess what doesn't matter in order to conceal what does.

Mereston

What do you mean, mother?

Lady Mereston

Lady Frederick has told you nothing of the Bellingham affair?

Mereston

Why should she?

Lady Mereston

It is surely expedient you should know that the woman you have some idea of marrying escaped the divorce court only by the skin of her teeth.

Mereston

I don't believe that, mother.

Fouldes

Remember that you're talking to your respected parent, my boy.

Mereston

I'm sorry that my mother should utter base and contemptible libels on – my greatest friend.

Lady Mereston

You may be quite sure that I say nothing which I can't prove.

Mereston

I won't listen to anything against Lady Frederick.

Lady Mereston

But you must.

Mereston

Are you quite indifferent to the great pain you cause me?

Lady Mereston

I can't allow you to marry a woman who's hopelessly immoral.

Mereston

Mother, how dare you say that?

Fouldes

This isn't the sort of thing I much like, but hadn't you better hear the worst at once?

Mereston

Very well. But if my mother insists on saying things, she must say them in Lady Frederick's presence.

Lady Mereston

That I'm quite willing to do.

Mereston

Good.

[He rings the bell. A servant enters.Fouldes

You'd better take care, Maudie. Lady Frederick's a dangerous woman to play the fool with.

Mereston

[To the servant.] Go to Lady Frederick Berolles and say Lord Mereston is extremely sorry to trouble her ladyship, but would be very much obliged if she'd come to the drawing-room for two minutes.

Servant

Very well, my lord.

[Exit.Fouldes

What are you going to do, Maud?

Lady Mereston

I knew there was a letter in existence in Lady Frederick's handwriting which proved all I've said about her. I've moved heaven and earth to get hold of it, and it came this morning.

Fouldes

Don't be such a fool. You're not going to use that?

Lady Mereston

I am indeed.

Fouldes

Your blood be upon your own head. Unless I'm vastly mistaken you'll suffer the greatest humiliation that you can imagine.

Lady Mereston

That's absurd. I have nothing to fear.

Lady Frederick. comes inMereston

I'm so sorry to disturb you. I hope you don't mind?

Lady Frederick

Not at all. I knew you wouldn't have sent for me in that fashion without good cause.

Mereston

I'm afraid you'll think me dreadfully impertinent.

Lady Mereston

Really you need not apologise so much, Charlie.

Mereston

My mother has something to say against you, and I think it right that she should say it in your presence.

Lady Frederick

That's very nice of you, Charlie – though I confess I prefer people to say horrid things of me only behind my back. Especially if they're true.

Fouldes

Look here, I think all this is rather nonsense. We've most of us got something in our past history that we don't want raked up, and we'd all better let bygones be bygones.

Lady Frederick

I'm waiting, Lady Mereston.

Lady Mereston

It's merely that I thought my son should know that Lady Frederick had been the mistress of Roger Bellingham. [Lady Frederick turns quickly and looks at her; then bursts into a peal of laughter. Lady Mereston springs up angrily and hands her a letter.] Is this in your handwriting?

Lady Frederick

[Not at all disconcerted.] Dear me, how did you get hold of this?

Lady Mereston

You see that I have ample proof, Lady Frederick.

Lady Frederick

[Handing the letter to Mereston.] Would you like to read it? You know my writing well enough to be able to answer Lady Mereston's question.

[He reads it through and looks at her in dismay.Mereston

Good God!.. What does it mean?

Lady Frederick

Pray read it aloud.

Mereston

I can't.

Lady Frederick

Then give it to me. [She takes it from him.] It's addressed to my brother-in-law, Peter Berolles. The Kate to whom it refers was his wife. [Reads.] Dear Peter: I'm sorry you should have had a row with Kate about Roger Bellingham. You are quite wrong in all you thought. There is absolutely nothing between them. I don't know where Kate was on Tuesday night, but certainly she was not within a hundred miles of Roger. This I know because…

Mereston

[Interrupting.] For God's sake don't go on.

[Lady Frederick looks at him and shrugs her shoulders.Lady Frederick

It's signed Elizabeth Berolles. And there's a postscript: You may make what use of this letter you like.

Mereston

What does it mean? What does it mean?

Lady Mereston

Surely it's very clear? You can't want a more explicit confession of guilt.

Lady Frederick

I tried to make it as explicit as possible.

Lady Mereston

Won't you say something? I'm sure there must be some explanation.

Lady Frederick

I don't know how you got hold of this letter, Lady Mereston. I agree with you, it is compromising. But Kate and Peter are dead now, and there's nothing to prevent me from telling the truth.

[Paradine Fouldes takes a step forward and watches her.Lady Frederick

My sister-in-law was a meek and mild little person, as demure as you can imagine, and no one would have suspected her for a moment of kicking over the traces. Well, one morning she came to me in floods of tears and confessed that she and Roger Bellingham [with a shrug] had been foolish. Her husband suspected that something was wrong and had kicked up a row.

Fouldes

[Drily.] There are men who will make a scene on the smallest provocation.

Lady Frederick

To shield herself she told the first lie that came into her head. She said to Peter that Roger Bellingham was my lover – and she threw herself on my mercy. She was a poor, weak little creature, and if there'd been a scandal she'd have gone to the dogs altogether. It had only been a momentary infatuation for Roger, and the scare had cured her. At the bottom of her heart she loved her husband still. I was desperately unhappy, and I didn't care much what became of me. She promised to turn over a new leaf and all that sort of thing. I thought I'd better give her another chance of going straight. I did what she wanted. I wrote that letter taking all the blame on myself, and Kate lived happily with her husband till she died.

Mereston

It was just like you.

Lady Mereston

But Lord and Lady Peter are dead?

Lady Frederick

Yes.

Lady Mereston

And Roger Bellingham?

Lady Frederick

He's dead too.

Lady Mereston

Then how can you prove your account of this affair?

Lady Frederick

I can't.

Lady Mereston

And does this convince you, Charlie?

Mereston

Of course.

Lady Mereston

[Impatiently.] Good heavens, the boy's out of his senses. Paradine, for Heaven's sake say something.

Fouldes

Well, much as it may displease you, my dear, I'm afraid I agree with Charlie.

Lady Mereston

You don't mean to say you believe this cock-and-bull story?

Fouldes

I do.

Lady Mereston

Why?

Fouldes

Well, you see, Lady Frederick's a very clever woman. She would never have invented such an utterly improbable tale, which can't possibly be proved. If she'd been guilty, she'd have had ready at least a dozen proofs of her innocence.

Lady Mereston

But that's absurd.

Fouldes

Besides, I've known Lady Frederick a long time, and she has at least a thousand faults.

Lady Frederick

[With flashing eyes.] Thanks.

Fouldes

But there's something I will say for her. She's not a liar. If she tells me a thing, I don't hesitate for a moment to believe it.

Lady Frederick

It's not a matter of the smallest importance if any of you believe me or not. Be so good as to ring, Charlie.

Mereston

Certainly.

[He rings, and a Servant immediately comes in.Lady Frederick

Tell my servant that he's to come here at once and bring the despatch-box which is in my dressing-room.

Servant

Yes, miladi.

[Exit.Fouldes

[Quickly.] I say, what are you going to do?

Lady Frederick

That is absolutely no business of yours.

Fouldes

Be a brick, Betsy, and don't give her those letters.

Lady Frederick

I think I've had enough of this business. I'm proposing to finish with it.

Fouldes

Temper, temper.

Lady Frederick

[Stamping her foot.] Don't say temper to me, Paradine.

[She walks up and down angrily. Paradine sits at the piano and with one finger strums "Rule Britannia."Mereston

Shut up.

[He takes a book, flings it at his head and misses.Fouldes

Good shot, sir.

Lady Frederick

I often wonder how you got your reputation for wit, Paradine.

Fouldes

By making a point of laughing heartily at other people's jokes.

[The Footman enters with the despatch-box, which Lady Frederick opens. She takes a bundle of letters from it.Fouldes

Betsy, Betsy, for heaven's sake don't! Have mercy.

Lady Frederick

Was mercy shown to me? Albert!

Footman

Yes, miladi.

Lady Frederick

You'll go to the proprietor of the hotel and tell him that I propose to leave Monte Carlo to-morrow.

Mereston

[Aghast.] Are you going?

Footman

Very well, my lady.

Lady Frederick

Have you a good memory for faces?

Footman

Yes, my lady.

Lady Frederick

You're not likely to forget Lord Mereston?

Footman

No, my lady.

Lady Frederick

Then please take note that if his lordship calls upon me in London I'm not at home.

Mereston

Lady Frederick!

Lady Frederick

[To Footman.] Go.

[Exit Footman.Mereston

What d'you mean? What have I done?

[Without answering Lady Frederick takes the letters. Paradine is watching her anxiously. She goes up to the stove and throws them in one by one.Lady Mereston

What on earth is she doing?

Lady Frederick

I have some letters here which would ruin the happiness of a very worthless woman I know. I'm burning them so that I may never have the temptation to use them.

Fouldes

I never saw anything so melodramatic.

Lady Frederick

Hold your tongue, Paradine. [Turning to Mereston.] My dear Charlie, I came to Monte Carlo to be amused. Your mother has persecuted me incessantly. Your uncle – is too well-bred to talk to his servants as he has talked to me. I've been pestered in one way and another, and insulted till my blood boiled, because apparently they're afraid you may want to marry me. I'm sick and tired of it. I'm not used to treatment of this sort; my patience is quite exhausted. And since you are the cause of the whole thing I have an obvious remedy. I would much rather not have anything more to do with you. If we meet one another in the street you need not trouble to look my way because I shall cut you dead.

Lady Mereston

[In an undertone.] Thank God for that.

Mereston

Mother, mother. [To Lady Frederick.] I'm awfully sorry. I feel that you have a right to be angry. For all that you've suffered I beg your pardon most humbly. My mother has said and done things which I regret to say are quite unjustifiable.

Lady Mereston

Charlie!

Mereston

On her behalf and on mine I apologise with all my heart.

Lady Frederick

[Smiling.] Don't take it too seriously. It really doesn't matter. But I think it's far wiser that we shouldn't see one another again.

Mereston

But I can't live without you.

Lady Mereston

[With a gasp.] Ah!

Mereston

Don't you know that my whole happiness is wrapped up in you? I love you with all my heart and soul. I can never love any one but you.

Fouldes

[To Lady Mereston.] Now you've done it. You've done it very neatly.

Mereston

Don't think me a presumptuous fool. I've been wanting to say this ever since I knew you, but I haven't dared. You're brilliant and charming and fascinating, but I have nothing whatever to offer you.

Lady Frederick

[Gently.] My dear Charlie.

Mereston

But if you can overlook my faults, I daresay you could make something of me. Won't you marry me? I should look upon it as a great honour, and I would love you always to the end of my life. I'd try to be worthy of my great happiness and you.

Lady Frederick

You're very much too modest, Charlie. I'm enormously flattered and grateful. You must give me time to think it over.

Lady Mereston

Time?

Mereston

But I can't wait. Don't you see how I love you? You'll never meet any one who'll care for you as I do.

Lady Frederick

I think you can wait a little. Come and see me to-morrow morning at ten, and I'll give you an answer.

Mereston

Very well, if I must.

Lady Frederick

[Smiling.] I'm afraid so.

Fouldes

[To Lady Frederick.] I wonder what the deuce your little game is now.

[She smiles triumphantly and gives him a deep, ironical curtsey.Lady Frederick

Sir, your much obliged and very obedient, humble servant.

END OF THE SECOND ACT

THIRD ACT

Scene: Lady Frederick's dressing-room. At the back is a large opening, curtained, which leads to the bedroom; on the right a door leading to the passage; on the left a window. In front of the window, of which the blind is drawn, is a dressing-table. Lady Frederick's maid is in the room, a very neat pretty Frenchwoman. She speaks with a slight accent. She rings the bell, and the Footman enters.

Maid

As soon as Lord Mereston arrives he is to be shown in.

Footman

[Surprised.] Here?

Maid

Where else?

[The Footman winks significantly. The Maid draws herself up with dignity, and with a dramatic gesture points to the door.Maid

Depart.

[The Footman goes out.Lady Frederick

[From the bedroom.] Have you drawn the blind, Angélique?

Maid

I will do so, miladi. [She draws the blind, and the light falls brightly on the dressing-table.] But miladi will never be able to stand it. [She looks at herself in the glass.] Oh, the light of the sun in the morning! I cannot look at myself.

Lady Frederick

[As before.] There's no reason that you should – especially in my glass.

Maid

But if 'is lordship is coming, miladi must let me draw the blind. Oh, it is impossible.

Lady Frederick

Do as you're told and don't interfere.

[The Footman enters to announce Mereston. The Maid goes out.Footman

Lord Mereston.

Lady Frederick

[As before.] Is that you, Charlie? You're very punctual.

Mereston

I've been walking about outside till the clock struck.

Lady Frederick

I'm not nearly dressed, you know. I've only just had my bath.

Mereston

Must I go?

Lady Frederick

No, of course not. You can talk to me while I'm finishing.

Mereston

All right. How are you this morning?

Lady Frederick

I don't know. I haven't looked at myself in the glass yet. How are you?

Mereston

A 1, thanks.

Lady Frederick

Are you looking nice?

Mereston

[Going to the glass.] I hope so. By Jove, what a strong light. You must be pretty sure of your complexion to be able to stand that.

Lady Frederick

[Appearing.] I am.

Mereston

[Going forward eagerly.] Ah.

[She comes through the curtains. She wears a kimono, her hair is all dishevelled, hanging about her head in a tangled mop. She is not made up and looks haggard and yellow and lined. When Mereston sees her he gives a slight start of surprise. She plays the scene throughout with her broadest brogue.Lady Frederick

Good-morning.

Mereston

[Staring at her in dismay.] Good-morning.

Lady Frederick

Well, what have you to say to me?

Mereston

[Embarrassed.] I – er – hope you slept all right.

Lady Frederick

[Laughing.] Did you?

Mereston

I forget.

Lady Frederick

I believe you slept like a top, Charlie. You really might have lain awake and thought of me. What is the matter? You look as if you'd seen a ghost.

Mereston

Oh no, not at all.

Lady Frederick

You're not disappointed already?

Mereston

No, of course not. Only – you look so different with your hair not done.

Lady Frederick

[With a little cry.] Oh, I'd forgotten all about it. Angélique, come and do my hair.

Maid

[Appearing.] Yes, miladi.

[Lady Frederick sits down at the dressing-table.Lady Frederick

Now, take pains, Angélique. I want to look my very best. Angélique is a jewel of incalculable value.

Maid

Miladi is very kind.

Lady Frederick

If I'm light-hearted, she does it one way. If I'm depressed she does it another.

Maid

Oh, miladi, the perruquier who taught me said always that a good hairdresser could express every mood and every passion of the human heart.

Lady Frederick

Good heavens, you don't mean to say you can do all that?

Maid

Miladi, he said I was his best pupil.

Lady Frederick

Very well. Express – express a great crisis in my affairs.

Maid

That is the easiest thing in the world, miladi. I bring the hair rather low on the forehead, and that expresses a crisis in her ladyship's affairs.

Lady Frederick

But I always wear my hair low on the forehead.

Maid

Then it is plain her ladyship's affairs are always in a critical condition.

Lady Frederick

So they are. I never thought of that.

Mereston

You've got awfully stunning hair, Lady Frederick.

Lady Frederick

D'you like it, really?

Mereston

The colour's perfectly beautiful.

Lady Frederick

It ought to be. It's frightfully expensive.

Mereston

You don't mean to say it's dyed?

Lady Frederick

Oh, no. Only touched up. That's quite a different thing.

Mereston

Is it?

Lady Frederick

It's like superstition, you know, which is what other people believe. My friends dye their hair, but I only touch mine up. Unfortunately, it costs just as much.

Mereston

And you have such a lot.

Lady Frederick

Oh, heaps. [She opens a drawer and takes out a long switch.] Give him a bit to look at.

Maid

Yes, miladi.

[She gives it to him.Mereston

Er – yes. [Not knowing what on earth to say.] How silky it is.

Lady Frederick

A poor thing, but mine own. At least, I paid for it. By the way, have I paid for it yet, Angélique?

Maid

Not yet, miladi. But the man can wait.

Lady Frederick

[Taking it from Mereston.] A poor thing, then, but my hairdresser's. Shall I put it on?

Mereston

I wouldn't, if I were you.

Maid

If her ladyship anticipates a tragic situation, I would venture to recommend it. A really pathetic scene is impossible without a quantity of hair worn quite high on the head.

Lady Frederick

Oh, I know. Whenever I want to soften the hard heart of a creditor I clap on every bit I've got. But I don't think I will to-day. I'll tell you what, a temple curl would just fit the case.

Maid

Then her ladyship inclines to comedy. Very well, I say no more.

[Lady Frederick takes two temple-curls from the drawer.Lady Frederick

Aren't they dears?

Mereston

Yes.

Lady Frederick

You've admired them very often, Charlie, haven't you? I suppose you never knew they cost a guinea each?

Mereston

It never occurred to me they were false.

Lady Frederick

The masculine intelligence is so gross. Didn't your mother tell you?

Mereston

My mother told me a great deal.

Lady Frederick

I expect she overdid it. There. Now that's done. D'you think it looks nice?

Mereston

Charming.

Lady Frederick

Angélique, his lordship is satisfied. You may disappear.