How to Write Clearly: Rules and Exercises on English Composition

Write "village inn," "next room," &c., for these absurd circumlocutions. See (3).

64. "When Burgoyne was born, in 1782, Napoleon and Wellington were both boys (11)."

Napoleon studied at Brienne, Wellington at Eton. Mention this, and, in order to imply the boyhood, call Wellington "Arthur Wellesley."

65. "An honourable friend of mine, who is now, I believe, near me—(38) to whom I never can on any occasion refer without feelings of respect, and, on this subject, (36) feelings of the most grateful homage; (38) whose abilities upon this occasion, as upon some former ones, are not entrusted merely to the perishable eloquence of the (a) day, but will live to be the admiration of that (a) hour when all of us are mute and most of us forgotten: (b) (38) has told you that prudence is (52) the first of virtues, and (52) can never be used in the cause of vice."

(a) Though "of the day" is a recognized expression for "ephemeral" or "transitory," yet to use "day" for a short time, and "hour" for a longer, is objectionable. Write moment for day. Else write future for hour. (b) "—this gentleman has told &c."

66. "To see the British artisan and his wife on the Sabbath, neat and clean and cheerful, with their children by their sides, (a) (19) disporting themselves under the open canopy of heaven, is (15) pleasant."

(a) There is no reasonable ground for mistaking the sense here, as the context makes it clear; but since Lord Shaftesbury was questioned whether he meant disporting to qualify "artisan and his wife" or "children," write "and, by their sides, their children disporting &c."

67. "Even if (a) it were attended with extenuating circumstances, such conduct would deserve severe reprobation, (b) and it is the more called for because it would seem that (c) it was the intention of the author of the crime, in perpetrating (e) it, to inflict all the misery that was possible, upon his victim." See (5).

(a) Omit "it were." (b) "which." (c) "to have been." (d) Express "author of the crime" in one word. (e) Use the noun.

68. "The (a) (1) observance of the heavenly bodies must have been attended with great difficulties, (b) (30) before the telescope was (a) (1) discovered, and it is not to be wondered at if the investigations of astronomers were often unsatisfactory, and failed to produce complete (a) (1) persuasion, (30) (15, a) under these disadvantages."

(a) What is the difference between "observance" and "observation," "discover" and "invent," "persuasion" and "conviction"? (b) Begin "Before &c."

69. "He plunged into the sea once more, (30) not content with his previous exertions. After a long and dangerous struggle, he succeeded in reaching a poor woman that was crying piteously for help, and (a) (35) was at last hauled safely to shore."

(a) Point put and remedy the ambiguity by inserting "he" or by writing "who," according to the meaning.

70. "Sir John Burgoyne himself, face to face with Todleben, became (a) (1) conscious of the difference between the fortifications of San Sebastian and of Sebastopol, (b) which (10 e) was (c) (12) very weak compared with Metz or Paris."

(a) What is the exact meaning of conscious? (b) Avoid the relative, by repeating the name, with a conjunction, (c) "weakness itself."

71. "Upon Richard's leaving the (c) stage, the Commonwealth was again set up; and the Parliament which Cromwell had (a) broken was brought together; but the army and they fell into new disputes: so they were again (a) broken by the army: and upon that the nation was like to fall into (b) (11) great convulsions."

(a) Modern Eng., "broken up." (b) "violently convulsed." (c) It is a question whether this metaphor is in good taste. The meaning is that Richard "retired from public life." It might be asserted that Richard, the Commonwealth, the Parliament are regarded as so many puppets on a "stage." But this is extremely doubtful. Make Parliament the principal subject: "When Richard retired … and when the Commonwealth &c…. the Parliament was … but, falling into a dispute with &c., it was…." See (18) and (43).

72. "What a revolution in the military profession! He began with (a) (11) unnecessary formality, and (b) (11) inefficient weapons, and ended with (c) (b) (11) greatly improved fire-arms."

(a) "pig-tail and pipe-clay." (b) "Six-pounders and flint-locks" are now inefficient compared with "twenty-four-pounders and breech-loaders." (c) Something is wanted antithetical to (a), perhaps "loose drill" or "open order."

73. "Children fear to go in the dark. Men fear death in the same way. The fear of children is increased by tales. So is the fear of death. The contemplation of death, as the 'wages of sin,' and passage to another world, is holy and religious. The fear of it, as a tribute due unto nature, is weak. In religious meditations on death there is sometimes mixture of vanity and of superstition."

Insert connecting adverbs or conjunctions. See (44).

74. "I have often heard him reiterate (54) repeatedly that he would never again, if a safe (54) and secure path was open to him, prefer the perilous (54) road of danger, however alluring (54) and attractive the latter might be."

75. "I thought in my dream that when my friend asked me whether I did not observe anything curious in the conduct of the pigeons, I (a) (4 a) remarked that if any one of the birds was so bold as to take an atom from a heap of grain in the midst of them, (31) (which (b) a detachment guarded, and which, being continually increased and never eaten, seemed useless), all the rest turned against him and pecked him to death for the (c) (50) action."

(a) Point out the ambiguity. (b) This should come earlier in the sentence, and not as a parenthesis. "I noticed a heap of grain in the midst of them, guarded by … Being continually …, to all appearance, useless: yet." (c) "theft."

76. "If this low view of the royal office becomes generally adopted, then sovereigns who (8) have always hitherto commanded the respect of Englishmen will by degrees fall into disrespect."

Point out the ambiguity. Show how it might be removed (a) by punctuation, (b) by altering "who."

77. "I struck the man in self-defence. I explained this to the magistrate. He would not believe me. Witnesses were called to support my statements. He committed me to prison. He had the right to do this. It is a right that is rarely exercised in such circumstances. I remonstrated."

See (44). Insert conjunctions or connecting adverbs.

78. "He attained a very distinguished position by mere (15) perseverance and common sense, which (52) (10 a) qualities are perhaps mostly underrated, (30) though he was deficient in tact and not remarkable for general ability."

79. "Vindictiveness, which (a) (50) is a fault, (b) and which may be defined as anger (10 a) which is caused not by sin nor by crime but by personal injury, ought to be carefully distinguished from resentment, which (a) (50) is a virtue, (b) and which is anger (49) which is natural and (c) right caused by an act (d) which is unjust, because it is unjust, (30 a) not because it is inconvenient."

(a) "The fault of vindictiveness;" "the virtue of resentment." (b) Omit (c) "Right" cannot be used as an adjective, but "righteous" can. (d) "an act of injustice."

80. "(a) He told his friend that (a) his brother was surprised that (a) he had given so small a contribution, for (a) he was (b) (12) a very rich man, in spite of (a) his recent losses and the bad state of trade, (19) (30) compared with himself."

(a) Use (6). (b) What Asian king was proverbial for wealth?

81. "(a) (15 b) It must be indeed wrong to (a) crucify a Roman citizen if to (b) (32) slay one is almost parricide, to (b) scourge him is a monstrous crime, and to (b) bind him is an outrage."

(a) "What must it be…?" (b) See (40).

82. "The universal (54) opinion of all the citizens was that the citadel had been (15) betrayed, (30) having been captured in broad daylight by a very small number of the enemy, and those unprovided with scaling ladders, and admitted by a postern gate, (15 a) and much wearied by a long march."

In any case "betrayed" must come at the end of a sentence. The sentence may be converted into two sentences: "The citadel had been captured…. Naturally therefore …;" or, "The opinion … for it had been captured…." Else, if one sentence be used, write "As the citadel had been captured &c."

83. "This author surpassed all those who were living (a) at the same time with him in the forcible (b) manner in which he could address (c) an appeal to the popular sympathy, and in the ease with which he could draw towards (a) himself the hearts of his readers."

(a) Express in one word. (b) "force with." (c) Omit.

84. "This great statesman was indeed a pillar of commerce, and a star in the financial world. He guided or impelled the people from the quicksands of Protection and false political economy to the safe harbour of Free Trade; and (a) (14 a) saved the country several millions."

(a) It would be well to literalize the preceding metaphors. Else the literal statement must be changed into a metaphor.

85. "The ministers were most unwilling to meet the Houses, (a) (43) (51) because even the boldest of them (though their counsels were lawless (15) and desperate) had too much value for his (b) (11) personal safety to think of resorting to the (c) (12) unlawful modes of extortion that had been familiar to the preceding age."

(a) Begin a new sentence with "Lawless and desperate though their counsels had been &c." (b) "neck." (c) Insert some of these unlawful modes, "benevolences, ship-money, and the other &c."

86. "We will not (a) (15) pretend to guess what our grandchildren may think of the character of Lord Byron, as exhibited in (15 a) his poetry." No writer ever had the whole eloquence of scorn, misanthropy, and (a) (15) despair (15 a) so completely at his command. That fountain (b) (12) of bitterness was never dry."

(a) "We will not pretend to guess" and "despair" are intended by the author to be emphatic. (b) "Marah."

87. "The captain asked to be allowed fifty men, a supply of food, and one hundred and fifty breech-loaders. (44) The general replied coldly that he could not let his subordinate have (a) (4) anything that he wanted. (44) The captain was forced to set out (34) with an insufficient force, spite of the superabundance of soldiers doing nothing in the camp (34), and with every obstacle put in his way by a general who from the first had resolved not even to give him ordinary assistance, (b) (10 a') which the captain had for some time anticipated."

(a) Point out and remove the ambiguity. (b) Write, according to the meaning, " … assistance that" or " … a resolution that."

88. "I am a practical man, and disbelieve in everything (8) which is not practical; theories (a) which amuse philosophers and pedants have no attractions for me, (30) for this reason."

(a) What difference in the meaning would be caused by the use of "that" for the second "which"?

89. "Yet, when that discovery drew no other severity but the (11 a) turning (a) him out of office, and the (11 a) passing a sentence (b) condemning him to die for it (31) (which was presently pardoned, and he was after a short confinement restored to his liberty), all men believed that the king knew of the letter, (c) (43) and that (6 b) the pretended confession of the secretary was only collusion to lay the jealousies of the king's (d) (11 a) favouring popery, (e) (43) which still hung upon him, (30) notwithstanding his (e) writing on the Revelation, and his (e) affecting to enter on all occasions into controversy, (e) asserting in particular that the Pope was Antichrist."

(a) "expulsion from." (b) "a pretended sentence to death—a pretence that was soon manifested by his pardon and liberation." (c) Begin a new sentence: "'The secretary's pretended confession,' it was said, 'was &c.'" (d) "the suspicion that the king favoured Popery." (e) The juxtaposition of the two verbal nouns, "writing" and "affecting," with the participle "asserting," is harsh. Write, "For, notwithstanding that he affected controversy, and attacked the Pope as Antichrist in his treatise on the Book of Revelation, the king was still suspected."

90. "The opinion that the sun is fixed was once too (a) (1) universal to be easily shaken, and a similar prejudice has often (b) rendered the progress of new inventions (15 a) very slow, (19) arising from the numbers of the believers, and not (36) the reasonableness of the belief."

(a) Write "general." Show the absurdity of appending "too" to "universal." (b) What single word can be substituted for "rendered slow"?

91. "The rest of the generals were willing to surrender unconditionally, (30) depressed by this unforeseen calamity; (4) only the young colonel, who retained his presence of mind, represented to them that they were increasing the difficulties of a position in itself very difficult (19) (15, a) by their conduct."

92. "To (a) (31) an author who is, in his expression of any sentiment, wavering between the (b) demands of perspicuity and energy (of which the (c) (40 a) former of course requires the first care, lest (40 a) he should fail of both), and (37) doubting whether the (d) phrase which (8) has (e) the most force and brevity will be (f) readily taken (g) in, it may (h) (3) be recommended to use both (d) expressions; first, (h) to expound the sense sufficiently to be clearly understood, and then (i) to contract it into the most compendious and striking form."

(a) Write "When an author &c." (b) Can be omitted. (c) Assimilate the constructions: "Of which the former must, of course, be aimed at first, lest both be missed." (d) Use "expression" or else "phrase" in both places. (e) Assimilate the construction to what follows; write "that is most forcible and brief." (f) Insert "also." (g) "understood." (h) "let him use …; first let him expound." (i) Omit.

93. "When I say 'a great man,' I not (22) only mean a man intellectually great but also morally, (38) who (8) has no preference for diplomacy (a) (23) at all events which (10 a) is mean, petty, and underhanded to secure ends which (8) can be secured by an honest policy equally (20) well, (38) who (8) does not resemble Polonius, (b) who prefers to get at truth by untruthful tricks, and (b) who considers truth a carp which (10 g) is to be caught by the bait falsehood. We cannot call a petty intriguer great (c), (30) though we may be forced to call an unscrupulous man by that (15 a) name."

(a) "at all events no preference." (b) Why is who right here? If you like, you can write, "does not, like Polonius, prefer … and consider." (c) End with "we cannot give the name to a petty intriguer."

94. "I regret that I have some (a) (3) intelligence which (10 a) is of a most (3) painful nature, and which I must tell you at once, though (b) I should like to defer it on (c) (40 a) account of your ill-health, and because (c) (40 a) you have already had many troubles, and (40 a) owing to the natural dislike which (8) a friend must always feel to say that (10 f) which is unpleasant. Many old friends in this district have turned against you: I scarcely like to write the words: only (21) I remain faithful to you, and I am sure you will believe that I am doing that (10 f) which is best for your interests."

(a) "news." (b) In a letter these words should remain is they are; but if a period is desired, they must (30) come last, after "unpleasant." (c) Write "because of your ill-health … and the troubles … and because of…."

95. "The general at once sent back word that the enemy had suddenly appeared on the other side of the river, and [(35) or (37)] then (a) retreated. (b) It was thought that (b) it would have shown more (c) (1) fortitude on his (3) part if he had attacked the fortifications, (d) which were not tenable for more than a week at all events. Such was the (54) universal opinion, at (23) least, of (54) all the soldiers."

(a) Point out the ambiguity. (b) "It was thought he would have shown &c." (c) Distinguish between "fortitude" and "bravery." (d) What would be the meaning if "that" were substituted for "which"? It will be perhaps better to substitute for "which," "since they."

96. "A notion has sprung up that the Premier, though he can legislate, cannot govern, and has attained an influence which renders it imperative, if this Ministry is to go on, that (a) it should be dispersed."

(a) Who or what "has attained"? Write "and this notion has become so powerful that, unless it is dispersed…."

97. "Those who are habitually silent (a) (3) by disposition and morose are less liable to the fault of exaggerating than those who are habitually (a) (3) fond of talking, and (40 a) of (a) (3) a pleasant disposition."

(a) Each of these periphrases must be condensed into a single adjective.

98. "This author, (a) (31) though he is not (b) altogether (c) guiltless of (b) occasional (c) faults of exaggeration, which are to be found as plentifully in his latest works as in those which he (d) published when he was beginning his career as an author, yet, notwithstanding these (e) defects, surpassed all those who were living at the (f) same time with him in the clear (g) manner in which he could, as it were, see into the feelings of the people at large, and in the power—a power that indeed could not be (f) resisted—with which he drew (f) toward himself the sympathy of those who (f) perused his works." See (54).

(a) Convert the parenthesis into a separate sentence. (b) One of these words is unnecessary. (c) One of these is unnecessary. (d) Condense: "his earliest." (e) Omit these words as unnecessary. (f) Express all this in one word. (g) "clearness with."

99. "Among the North (a) (23) American Indians I had indeed heard of the perpetration of similar atrocities; but it seemed intolerable that such things should occur in a civilized land: and I rushed from the room at once, leaving the wretch where he stood, with his tale half told, (30) horror-stricken at his crime."

(a) Make it evident whether the speaker once lived among the North American Indians, or not, and show who is "horror-stricken."

100. "His (1) bravery under this painful operation and the (1) fortitude he had shown in heading the last charge in the recent action, (30) though he was wounded at the time and had been unable to use his right arm, and was the only officer left in his regiment, out of twenty who were alive the day before, (19) inspired every one with admiration."

Begin, "Out of twenty officers &c…. Though wounded &c…. he had headed." "The bravery he had then shown and…."

101. "Moral as well as (41) other considerations must have weight when we are selecting an officer (a) that (10 b) will be placed in a position that will task his intelligence (b) (18) and his fidelity."

(a) The repetition of "that" is objectionable. Use "to fill." (b) "and" can be replaced by some other conjunction to suit what precedes.

102. "It happened that at this time there were a few Radicals in the House who (8) could not forgive the Prime Minister for being a Christian."

Point out the difference of meaning, according as we read "who" or "that."

103. "It cannot be doubted (15 b) that the minds of a vast number of men would be left poor shrunken things, full of melancholy and indisposition, and unpleasing to themselves, if (32) there were taken out of men's minds vain opinions, false valuations, imaginations as one (a) would, and the (15 a) like."

(a) The meaning (which cannot easily be more tersely expressed than in the original) is "castles in the air," "pleasant fancies."

104. "God never wrought a miracle to refute atheism, because His ordinary works refute it. (a) A little philosophy inclines man's mind to atheism: depth in philosophy brings men's minds back to religion. (44) While the mind of man looks upon second causes scattered, it may sometimes rest in them; (44) when it beholds the chain of them confederate and linked together, it must needs acknowledge a Providence. (44) That school which is most accused of atheism most clearly demonstrates the truth of religion."

(a) Insert a suspensive conjunction. See (34).

105. "The spirit of Liberty and the spirit of Nationality were once for all dead; (a) (5) it might be for a time a pious duty, but it could not continue always expedient or (c) (15) (18) profitable to (b) (13) mourn (c) (15 a) for their loss. Yet this is the (b) (13) feeling of the age of Trajan."

(a) Omit. (b) "To sit weeping by their grave;" "attitude." (c) Notice that "expedient or profitable" are emphatic, as is shown by "yet" in the next sentence. Make it evident therefore, by their position, that these words are more emphatic than "to mourn &c."