The Secret Child

“Who?” Marni seriously doubted her ability to converse logically. If all she uttered were inane animal sounds, her career would be over.

Rebecca sighed heavily. “The hunk, Marni.”

“An old friend.” Full custody. The dreadful words reverberated through Marni‘s mind.

“Ha! You don‘t expect me to believe that, do you?” Rebecca drummed her fingers impatiently on the coarse fabric of the chair. “Give up, Rodgers.”

Marni stood abruptly, crossing the room to the bookshelves. She stared at the titles, unable to concentrate. An uncomfortable silence filled the room, and Marni could feel Rebecca‘s eyes on her.

“Who is he? Really.” Her friend spoke quietly, her demeanor serious.

Marni slipped a law book from the shelf and continued to peruse the other titles. “I told you, an old friend. We grew up together.”

“High school sweethearts?” Rebecca teased.

“Something like that,” Marni mumbled, fingering one of the books filled with precedent-setting case law.

Rebecca issued a deep, throaty chuckle. “Where‘s he been all your life?”

Rebecca‘s pumps hit the floor with a thud, a sure indication her friend wasn‘t leaving until she got the information she wanted.

Marni pulled another book from the shelf and rested it against her hip. “Married.”

Rebecca sighed dramatically. “Why are all the gorgeous ones taken?”

“He‘s not. He married someone else two months after I moved to California, but they divorced.” Marni pulled two more books from the shelves and returned to her desk, still not looking at Rebecca.

“Someone else?” Rebecca asked in a silky voice. “Marni. Who is this guy?”

Marni let out a long, audible sigh. Now Rebecca would have to know everything. She would need her friend‘s legal expertise if Cole found out about Jenna. “I really hate to burden you with my problems.”

“Sweetie, if you can‘t talk to me, who can you talk to? Jenna? I know the kid‘s bright, but she doesn‘t have much experience in the male gender department.”

“Heavens, no.” What an interesting conversation that would be, Marni mused.

Rebecca remained quiet. Marni glanced at her friend and nearly shuddered at the thoughtful look on her face. Pulling one of the law books from the pile on her desk, Marni flipped through the pages trying to locate the case law she needed to prepare her opposing brief.

“It‘s him, isn‘t it.”

Marni‘s shoulders sagged. Her friend hadn‘t become a successful attorney because she was dumb.

Rebecca leaned forward in the chair, her blue eyes piercing. “He‘s the guy who got you pregnant and then skipped out, isn‘t he.”

“He didn‘t skip out,” Marni corrected her. “I just never told him about Jenna.”

“Well, he didn‘t give you a chance if he got married two months after you split.”

The sarcasm in Rebecca‘s voice made Marni wince. She sent Rebecca what she hoped was a glare. “Would you please stop!” Marni snapped the book closed in irritation. “Cole Ballinger is not one to run from his responsibilities.”

A startled gasp escaped Rebecca. “Cole Ballinger? Ballinger Electronics’ Cole Ballinger? Marni, you dog. Do you know who he is?”

Marni rolled her eyes. “Jenna‘s father?”

Rebecca ignored Marni‘s bad humor. “No, I mean financially. There was a big article on Ballinger Electronics in Time or Newsweek a month or so ago. He‘s a rich guy.”

“Gee, I must have missed a little detail.” Marni couldn‘t help the mockery of her tone. When it came to Cole, she knew just about everything there was to know.

“They were thinking of closing shop on their software division, and then Daddy gave it to Sonny Boy to play with. Boom. Six months later they‘re showing a huge profit margin. From what I understand, this isn‘t the first division Golden Boy‘s turned around.”

“Good. Maybe he‘ll go away and save another division of Daddy‘s company and leave me alone.” If only she could be so lucky.

Rebecca became serious again. “You‘re not going to tell him about Jenna, are you?”

Marni stood and walked to the window. She opened the venetian blinds and gazed out at the setting sun casting a deep orange hue over the skyline. “No, and he‘s not going to find out, either.” Turning back to face Rebecca, she leaned against the windowsill.

“He‘s bound to if he keeps coming around. And I get the impression this guy won‘t give up until he gets what he wants. Looks to me to be the determined type.” Rebecca looked pointedly at the framed photograph of Jenna on Marni‘s desk. “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

Marni nodded.

Rebecca leaned back in the chair again. “Well, the initial consultation is free, kiddo. I think it‘s time you told me everything.”

Marni stepped away from the window and reached into her desk to retrieve a legal pad. She tossed it to Rebecca. “I don‘t know where to start.”

Rebecca suddenly became every inch the lawyer. “The beginning is always a good place.”

Marni punched the Do Not Disturb button on her telephone, then came around to stand in front of the desk. “Do you need to know the first time I ever saw him?” She couldn‘t help the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Propping her hip against the desk, a vivid recollection struck her of the first time she‘d ever laid eyes on Cole Ballinger. A heavy sigh escaped her.

“If that‘s where it begins, then go for it.” Rebecca‘s voice was soft and coaxing. She leaned back in the chair again and waited for Marni to speak.

“He was a football hero. Captain of the wrestling team. You name it, Cole did it. A rich kid with everything going for him. Good looks, charm, a hot car and Elizabeth Wakefield on his arm. After he graduated from high school, he attended the university in Lawrence. Life was pretty lonely after he left town.”

“But he had a girlfriend? I don‘t understand.”

“I had a such a crush on Cole, it wouldn‘t have mattered if he‘d had ten girls shackled to his leg! He never noticed me until he returned to Elk Falls two years later. He came back to see his sister, Janelle, graduate. I finally got up the nerve to talk to him and the next day he called and asked me out.” Marni sat on the edge of her desk. “God, I was in heaven. Cole Ballinger asked me out on a date.”

She glanced at Rebecca. “I worked that summer in a law office as a receptionist, trying to save up enough money for college so I could get my paralegal certificate. My mother‘s health was getting worse and we couldn‘t afford much. It was up to me to pay my own way. I worked all day, but my evenings were spent with Cole. We did everything together. I was young and foolish, and I believed it when he told me he loved me.”

Rebecca chuckled. “A man will tell you anything when he‘s got a hard...”

“I know, I know.” Marni grimaced.

“What happened to this Wakefield woman?”

Marni shrugged. “Cole said they‘d split up.”

Rebecca shook her head. “So you made love to the guy, came here, then found out you were pregnant.”

“I called, but I spoke to his father. Carson told me his son was on his honeymoon.”

Rebecca lifted a brow at Marni‘s barely controlled sarcasm. “With Wakefield?”

Marni nodded, a stab of pain wrenching her heart. Pain at what she‘d lost, at what she could never have. “Cole told me today Elizabeth claimed to be pregnant, but she really wasn‘t.”

“So he slept with Elizabeth right after you left. What a jerk!”

Marni detected the heat in Rebecca‘s words, and despite the gravity of the situation, she found herself defending Cole. “It wasn‘t like that. If it were, this wouldn‘t be so difficult.”

“I don‘t understand.”

“Cole‘s father never liked me. My mother was a waitress, my father skipped out when I was two. I wasn‘t socially connected. All the usual stereotype clichés about a poor kid from the wrong side of town fit, and Carson Ballinger didn‘t think I was good enough for his son. Carson offered to pay for my education and take care of my mom‘s medical expenses if I stopped seeing Cole. He played on my insecurities and used my mom‘s diabetes as ammunition. I‘d never fit into Cole‘s crowd. I had no education, no breeding, as he put it. He convinced me Cole would eventually tire of making excuses for my lack of social connections and my ignorance of his way of life. He made me believe I‘d only become an embarrassment to Cole.”

A hard glint came into Rebecca‘s eyes. “And you accepted that?”

“Oh, yeah. I even took him up on his offer and told Cole the next day it was over between us. Mom and I came to L.A., and I applied to USC.”

Rebecca sniffed in derision. “Did Sonny Boy lie to you when he said Wakefield was out of the picture?”

“No, he didn‘t. When he didn‘t hear from me again, he was angry. He passed out drunk at a party one night, and when he woke up, Elizabeth was in bed with him. She told Cole when they divorced she hadn‘t really been pregnant at all.”

“What a witch!”

Marni ignored her friend‘s outburst. “Today, when he explained what happened, he told me Elizabeth got pregnant two years later. She aborted it and he divorced her. I asked him what he would have done if Elizabeth had had the baby. He was so angry, Rebecca. Really angry.”

“Can‘t say I blame him.”

Marni closed her eyes, remembering his harsh expression when he told her what Elizabeth had done. She opened her eyes and clasped her hands in front of her. “He said he would have sued her for custody–maybe even full custody.”

“Ah, I‘m beginning to understand. Still, you‘re not married to him. Why the worry? You‘re the one with all the rights here, kiddo. You can sue him for support. Thirteen years’ worth of it. A nice little nest egg if you ask me.”

“You don‘t understand. Cole‘s whole point is that Elizabeth didn‘t give him a choice. She robbed him of the opportunity to be a father.”

“Marni, I think you‘re worrying for nothing. Besides, Roe v. Wade is about a woman‘s choice, not a man‘s, and has absolutely nothing to do with your situation.”

“You didn‘t see his face.”

“Still, what his ex-wife did has nothing to do with you and Jenna.”

Marni couldn‘t accept Rebecca‘s logic. “I think it does. Don‘t you see? I didn‘t give him a choice, either. I even took money from his father.”

“Well, Cole didn‘t give you much of a choice from what I‘ve heard. He married someone else while you carried his child!”

“But I didn‘t tell him.”

“That‘s beside the point. The money part–that‘s between Cole and Daddy. It‘s not a legal problem for you. I don‘t think Sonny Boy‘ll have a leg to stand on if he does attempt to sue you for custody. You‘re a great mother, Marni. He‘ll have to petition for paternity first, then you can get him for child support. We can tie that little process up in the system for a long time.” Rebecca smiled, a slow, catlike grin. “But without proving paternity first, he doesn‘t stand a chance of gaining so much as visitation rights, so that little scenario will never have to be played out.”

“Rebecca, Cole is named as Jenna‘s father on her birth certificate.” Marni spoke softly, dreading the lawyer‘s response.

“Tell me you‘re kidding.” The incredulity in Rebecca‘s voice only increased Marni‘s trepidation.

Marni shook her head silently.

“Oh, Marni.” Rebecca looked as if she‘d just lost her best friend.

“I never thought I‘d see him again,” she reasoned, “but I still wanted Jenna to know who her father was. She is a Ballinger whether or not she lives with her father.”

Rebecca gave Marni a hard stare. “Does Jenna have his name?”

Marni couldn‘t answer.

“Is Jenna‘s name Ballinger?” she repeated.

Marni looked at her hands, clenched in her lap. She‘d fully understood the implications of her actions when she put Cole‘s name on Jenna‘s birth certificate. Now she wished she hadn‘t been so hopeful and foolhardy. “Yes.” The word came out in a choked whisper.

Marni couldn‘t bear to face Rebecca. The thought of seeing the look on her friend‘s face was simply too much for her to take right now. Marni knew she‘d been a fool; she didn‘t need to see it mirrored in Rebecca‘s eyes.

The phone on Peg‘s desk rang, but Marni knew her secretary wouldn‘t be interrupting them; the red light on Peg‘s phone indicated Marni was not to be disturbed. The air-conditioning system hummed, then sputtered, then resumed its low purr. The clock on the wall ticked, reminding her of a bomb in an old B-movie.

After an eternity, Rebecca finally spoke. “Marni, I hate to tell you this, but I think you should tell him about Jenna.”

Marni sprang from the desk, as if shot from a cannon. “No.”

“Listen to me,” Rebecca pleaded.

“No.” Marni paced the confines of the office like a caged tiger. The sensation of being trapped frightened her almost as much as Cole‘s learning the truth. “It‘s out of the question. I won‘t let him take Jenna away from me.”

Rebecca tossed the legal pad down on Marni‘s desk with a resounding slap. “Dammit, Marni. Would you listen? Sit down.”

Marni plopped into the chair next to Rebecca and crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive gesture. “Okay, I‘m listening.”

“You wanted my legal advice, and I say tell him. If he finds out on his own, he‘s going to be angry. If he‘s angry, he‘ll probably retaliate. How would you feel if the situation were reversed? Tell him, Marni. Explain to him what you just told me. He‘s bound to understand.”

“No.” Marni tapped her foot irritably.

“You‘re not using your head.” Rebecca‘s exasperation was obvious.

Marni stared hard at her friend and, now, lawyer. “I can‘t tell him.”

“Oh, for heaven‘s sake. Would you tell me why?”

“Because I‘m not going to give him a chance to take Jenna away from me.” Marni cringed at the desperation in her voice. God, how she hated this. She hated feeling vulnerable.

Rebecca spoke in a soft voice. “I don‘t think he can or will.”

“I won‘t give him a chance. I can‘t, Rebecca. Carson has made a career out of buying people. Who‘s to say he couldn‘t purchase himself a judge? And how would Jenna feel if she was ripped from her home to live God knows where with a man she doesn‘t even know? Am I supposed to stand by and allow her to be subjected to Carson Ballinger‘s narrow-minded attitudes? He‘d hate Jenna as much as he hated me. I won‘t do that to her.”

“Marni, he isn‘t some forties mobster with judges and politicians in his pocket.”

“You don‘t know him.”

“You‘re not being fair.”

“I don‘t have to be fair,” Marni answered childishly. “I‘m protecting Jenna.”

Rebecca looked at her intently. “Are you? Or are you protecting yourself?”

Marni had no response.

* * *

COLE SET ASIDE THE REPORT he‘d been unable to concentrate on and pushed himself away from the oversized chrome-and-glass desk. Stepping over to the window, he stared out at the evening traffic below and thought about Marni. He wanted to see her again. Now. Tonight. He tried to forget the heat of the kiss they‘d shared at the drive-in restaurant, but he couldn‘t. The memory only served to cause a slow burn in the pit of his stomach. He still needed to know why she‘d left Elk Falls–and him.

She‘d said he would have lost interest in her because she didn‘t fit into his world, but that didn‘t make sense. The Marni he‘d known would have confronted her problems head on. He‘d seen fear in her eyes today, and he couldn‘t begin to understand why. The only thing he did know was he didn‘t want to wait until Monday to be with her again. She must have some free time before then.

Cole reached for the telephone and dialed her office. On the second ring, Marni‘s secretary picked up the phone.

“Ms. Rodgers‘s office. This is Peg.”

Cole could hear the smile in Peg‘s voice. “Peg, this is Cole Ballinger. Is Marni available?”

“She‘s gone for the day. Can I take a message?” Cole detected a hopeful note in Peg‘s voice. If Peg was on his side, then maybe he‘d pull this little stunt off without a hitch. He could only hope.

“No, that‘s okay. I‘ll see her tonight.” A stab of guilt assailed him for lying, but he ignored it. He was determined to see Marni again before the weekend was over.

“I‘m leaving in a minute, but if she phones in, I‘ll tell her you called.”

“Thanks, Peg.” Cole hung up and counted to one hundred. He picked up the phone and redialed the number.

After the third ring, Cole began to think Peg had already left. The woman must have bolted from her desk.

She picked up on the fourth ring.

“Ms. Rodgers‘s office.”

Cole smiled. “Peg, this is Cole Ballinger again. I‘m sorry to bother you, but I can‘t seem to find Marni‘s number. She gave it to me today, but I seem to have lost it.”

“I should really ask Marni first.” Cole noted the hesitation in Peg‘s voice.

What the hell, he thought. No sense stopping now. “I was supposed to pick her up about eight-thirty and I need to let her know I‘ll be late,” he improvised.

Peg was quiet and Cole waited. He could almost imagine her weighing the consequences of releasing Marni‘s home number.

“Have you got a pen?” Peg finally asked.

Cole jotted the number on a scratch pad, thanked Peg and hung up the phone before his luck changed. That had been too easy. He wrote the number on his Rolodex, then placed the slip of paper in his wallet. Dear, sweet Peg. She deserved a raise for her cooperation, or at least a bouquet.

The drive across town took him twenty minutes in Friday evening traffic. He let himself into his quiet, ultramodern apartment, checked his answering machine for messages, then took a cool shower.

Dressed in a worn pair of Levi‘s and a University of Kansas sweatshirt, he glanced at the clock on the bedside table. Six-twenty. Marni had said she lived by the beach. But which beach? Southern California was one long coastline. She could live anywhere from Malibu to Newport. Cole decided she‘d be home in an hour, either way. He snapped on the television on his way to the kitchen, made himself a sandwich, grabbed a Coke from the fridge and went back into the living room to wait.

The phone rang and Cole reached for it. “Hello?”

“How‘s the software end of things, son?” Carson Ballinger‘s baritone voice sounded affable.

“Fine,” Cole answered, surprised to be hearing from him.

“Your mother‘s been complaining you haven‘t called her.”

“I‘ve been busy.” Cole wondered what his father really wanted.

“I‘m flying out next week. I‘ll be arriving on Wednesday.”

“Coming to check up on me?” Cole wanted nothing more than to tell his father to stop breathing down his neck, but wisdom prevailed. For now, Carson Ballinger still called the shots, but Cole was becoming increasingly weary of living in his father‘s shadow.

“Just routine. Wouldn‘t be doing my job if I didn‘t make the rounds occasionally.” Carson chuckled.

“Well, it‘s nice to hear from you, Dad, but I‘ve got an appointment. I have to run.”

“Can I tell your mother you‘ve got a date?”

“You could say that,” Cole answered, not yet willing to divulge the fact Marni might become part of his life again. She didn‘t seem too willing, but Cole hoped like hell he could change her mind.

“Anyone we know? That vice president of marketing is a nice young lady. Her father owns the Masters Hardware chain.”

“Really.” Cole didn‘t care if her father was president of the United States. Hanna Masters was an attractive and intelligent woman, but she reminded him too much of Elizabeth. Definitely not the kind of woman he wanted to become involved with.

“I ran into an old friend yesterday,” he offered, hoping to steer his father away from the subject of Hanna Masters‘s financial attributes.

“Who is she?”

Cole ran a hand through his hair in an agitated gesture. No sense putting it off. “Marni Rodgers. She went to school with Janelle.”

“Oh, yes. Her mother was ill. No father, either, if I remember correctly.”

“That‘s her,” Cole answered.

Silence.

“How is she?” Carson finally asked.

Cole wondered about the caution in his father‘s voice. “She‘s an assistant D.A. here in Los Angeles.” A surge of pride filled him. She‘d accomplished her dream to become an attorney. He‘d never imagined her as a prosecutor, though. To him, Marni was more of an environmental type. Save the whales, or the kangaroo rat, or some other endangered species.

“I see. You‘re not planning to see her again, are you?”

“I‘ve thought about it.” Who was he kidding? She was all he‘d thought about for the past twenty-four hours.

“That‘s not a good idea.”

“Oh?” Cole ignored the warning note in Carson‘s voice.

“She has no background, son. Her mother was a waitress, for goodness’ sake. She‘s all wrong for you.”

“And Elizabeth was right for me?” Cole thought again about his father‘s reaction when Cole had told him Elizabeth was pregnant. He‘d expected a tirade, a stern lecture on how he‘d disappointed the family, but his father had been strangely elated. Not for the first time, Cole wondered why.

“At least Elizabeth had breeding,” Carson shot at him.

“Breeding? What about a heart? Compassion? Sincerity? Those are the qualities I look for in a person.”

“I only want what‘s best for you, son. I don‘t want you to get hurt. Marni turned her back on you once before. Thank goodness you had Elizabeth.”

“I have to go,” Cole said, not wanting to argue with his father–at least not over the telephone. He‘d known for a while now it was time for him to step away from Ballinger Electronics. After successfully turning two faltering divisions into profit-making entities, Cole knew he was ready. More than ready. If anything, the move might improve his relationship with his father.

“All right, son. I‘ll see you next week.”

Cole replaced the receiver and glanced at the clock again, putting the conversation with his father behind him. He‘d deal with Carson next week.

* * *

MARNI PULLED INTO the driveway of the white beach house twenty minutes after seven. Fortunately the transcript of the Kendell trial had arrived early, and Marni managed to escape the office sooner than she‘d expected, leaving Peg to field any last-minute telephone calls. With the Kendell appeal and Cole‘s appearance in her life, she needed time to catch her breath. Somehow she had to handle both calamities, but she didn‘t have the faintest idea how.

Jenna came bounding out of the house, the screen door banging behind her. The light from the porch cast a hazy yellow glow over the small veranda and spilled onto a fraction of the manicured lawn. A large German shepherd rounded the house, trampling through the dormant rose garden, and barked, wagging his tail at Jenna.

“Arlo, shush. It‘s only Mom,” Jenna scolded the dog. The point was lost on the large animal, who barked again in reply.

“Sorry I‘m late,” Marni said, stepping from the car. “It was one of those days.”

“Denise called. She wants to know if I can go skiing with her tomorrow.”

Marni stepped through the gate and put her arm around her daughter. A flood of protectiveness and love rushed through her. She was reluctant to let Jenna out of her sight but quickly quashed her foolishness. “I don‘t see why not. I‘ve got a lot of work to do this weekend, anyway. Have you eaten?”

“Yeah. I was hungry so I warmed up the leftover pizza. I saved you some.” Jenna opened the front door and Arlo trotted into the house.

Marni didn‘t think she could eat a bite. Not after her conversation with Rebecca. She couldn‘t get over the fact that her friend had insisted she tell Cole about Jenna. The notion bordered on insanity.

“Oh, there‘s an old movie on cable tonight,” Jenna said, dropping onto the sofa.

Arlo wandered into the kitchen. Probably to search the floor for crumbs. Marni couldn‘t seem to keep the junk food out of her daughter or her dog.