The Secret Child

“Which one?”

“Oklahoma.” Jenna shared Marni‘s love for old movies, particularly old musicals. Marni had taken her to a Rodgers and Hammerstein film festival in Venice, and Jenna had become as hooked as Marni.

Marni smiled at her daughter. “Let me get out of this monkey suit.” She crossed the beige carpeting and headed toward the master bedroom. The phone rang, and Marni said, “Will you get that, sweetie. I don‘t want to talk to anyone tonight, unless it‘s urgent.”

Jenna darted past Marni into the bedroom and picked up the cordless phone. “Hello?

“Uh, she‘s not here right now. Can I take a message?” Jenna mouthed the words “It‘s a man” to Marni and grinned broadly.

Marni rolled her eyes at her daughter and kicked off her pumps. Probably one of the policemen who‘d taken the witness‘s statement. Well, Marni could call him back tomorrow after she had reviewed the transcript. Tonight more than anything, she wanted to spend time with her daughter.

“What‘s the number?” Jenna jotted down the number while Marni stepped into the walk-in closet to change her clothes, pulling off her jacket along the way.

“Okay, and what‘s your name?” Jenna asked.

She smiled at her daughter‘s attempt at professionalism and hung the suit on a hanger and unbuttoned her silk blouse, tossing it in the basket of clothes destined for the dry cleaners.

“Say that again?” Jenna asked cautiously.

Marni discarded her slip, camisole and stockings, then slipped into the navy blue sweats she pulled from a drawer and tugged a matching hooded sweatshirt over her head. She quickly loosened the tight French braid and shook her hair before scrubbing her fingers over her scalp.

“Cole Ballinger?”

Marni‘s heart stopped beating as she gripped the built-in dresser for support. She began to shake. She gasped, trying to suck air into her lungs as the small room swam before her eyes. A cold knot formed in the pit of her stomach.

Jenna‘s voice sounded miles away. “Cole Ballinger? My father?”

CHAPTER FOUR

“T HIS IS SO COOL,” Jenna said.

Move, dammit! Marni couldn‘t get her body to cooperate with the commands issued by her brain. Too late to sever the connection between father and daughter. Her secret could no longer be hidden from Cole. He knew the truth.

“Me? I‘m Jenna. Marni‘s daughter.”

Marni got moving, but not fast enough.

“I‘ll be thirteen in May.”

Jenna responded to her father‘s questions openly. Through the years Marni had tried to teach her daughter honesty was all-important, telling her that the omission of facts was the same as deceit. She‘d never imagined herself a hypocrite until now.

She bolted out of the walk-in closet and practically tore the phone out of Jenna‘s hands, ignoring the startled look on her daughter‘s face. Pushing the button to disconnect the phone nearly proved impossible, her hands were shaking so badly.

“Mom!” Jenna wailed, a fierce frown creasing her brow. “What are you doing? You hung up on him!”

Marni ignored Jenna‘s indignation and began to pace. “I know.” She had to think of a plan. There had to be a way out of this rapidly growing nightmare.

“Why did you do that?” Jenna repeated.

Marni knew she was behaving like a first-class idiot, but she couldn‘t help herself. Panic did that to a person.

The phone rang again, she turned to look at her daughter. She pressed the button with her thumb and lifted the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Marni? What the hell is going on?” Cole sounded angry. More than angry.

Marni pushed the Disconnect button again. My world is falling apart!

“Mom!” Jenna cried.

Marni sat down on the bed and stared at the phone. The darn thing rang again. She pushed the button to answer, then promptly disconnected the caller, unable to face the dreadful fact that Cole had finally learned the truth. She wondered if she should feel guilty, yet the only emotion she felt was cold, stark fear. Fear of what Cole would do next.

“Mom? What are you doing?” Jenna asked again. She stood in front of Marni, hands placed on her slightly rounded hips. “Mom?” Her voice was soft, questioning, and Marni didn‘t know how to begin to explain her fears to Jenna. How could she tell her daughter she could lose her? That the father of a man she didn‘t even know had the power to take her away? That the cozy life they shared might never be the same again?

“Mom, why did he call here?”

She should unplug the phone. No, she thought, better to keep it off the hook. She couldn‘t turn off the ringers on the other two extensions in case of an emergency.

“Mom? Are you all right?” Jenna said, her tone even and controlled and much too grown-up. Her eyes held unanswerable questions, and Marni wished she could be anywhere in the world right now except this bedroom, facing her daughter‘s inquisitive gaze.

A high-pitched tone emanated from the phone, and Marni reached across the bed and covered it with a pillow.

“Why did he call, Mom?” Jenna asked again.

Marni took a deep breath and grabbed Jenna‘s hand, guiding the girl to the bed to sit beside her. She struggled for the right words to explain to her daughter what they could be facing in the not-too-distant future. “Jenna, until a few minutes ago, your father didn‘t know about you.”

“I know.” Bright green eyes looked at Marni. A slight smile, almost as crooked as Cole‘s, was on Jenna‘s lips. “I guess I gave him a shock, huh?”

Despite the possible frailty of their future together, Marni chuckled. “I‘m sure you did.” She pictured Cole, frustrated because he couldn‘t get through, questions pounding through his mind. How could she avoid him until Monday? She needed time. Time to bolster her waning courage before she faced Cole‘s wrath.

She began to wonder if perhaps Rebecca had been right. Maybe she should have told Cole before he learned the truth. But when? How? None of that mattered now. He knew and he was angry. Marni supposed she really couldn‘t blame him; if she was in his shoes right now, she‘d be downright furious.

“Why did he call?” Jenna asked for the third time.

Arlo sauntered into the bedroom and nudged Marni‘s hand, begging for attention. She absently scratched the dog behind the ear. “I ran into him yesterday.”

“You saw him?” Jenna shot off the bed. “You saw him and you didn‘t tell me?” Confusion threaded through her young voice.

“Jenna, I...”

“Why didn‘t you tell me?” the girl demanded, her arms bouncing off her sides in agitation.

“Jenna, calm down.”

“When can I see him? I want to meet him. He knows about me now, so there‘s no reason why I can‘t.”

“Jenna, you don‘t understand. It‘s complicated.”

“Then explain it to me.” Jenna plopped on the bed and stretched out across the bedspread. Resting on her elbow, she placed her head in her palm and looked pointedly at Marni, waiting for her to begin. Arlo hopped up on the bed beside her and laid his large head on her hip, as if he, too, were waiting for an explanation. The dog moaned and closed his eyes while Jenna rubbed his dark muzzle.

Marni‘s voice choked with emotion. “I didn‘t mean for any of this to happen,” she managed to say.

Regaining her composure, she tried to be as honest as possible, describing to Jenna as best she could what Cole had related to her about his disastrous marriage to Elizabeth Wakefield and his feelings about their child. “Now do you understand? If I told him about you, I was afraid he‘d try to sue me for partial custody, sweetheart.”

Jenna remained quiet and thoughtful while she digested the information Marni imparted about her father. “But do you know for sure? Would he really do that to us?”

The worry in her daughter‘s voice tugged at Marni‘s heart. “I didn‘t want to take the chance.” Now that he knew about Jenna, anything was possible. Imagining the worst, Marni closed her eyes, but her fears for her daughter refused to be quelled. As did her fear of Carson. He‘d paid her to stay out of his son‘s life, and she was certain he‘d see he got his money‘s worth.

Jenna sat up and scooted close to Marni, wrapping her arms around her mother‘s neck. “I love you, Mom. I wouldn‘t ever leave you.”

Marni hugged her daughter close, tears burning the backs of her eyes at the heartfelt confession. “I love you, too, Jenna.”

Jenna released her hold on Marni and sat back on her heels. “What are we gonna do?”

Falling back on the bed, Marni laid her arm over her eyes. Her head ached, and the light from the bedside table stung her eyes. “I‘m not sure yet. I‘ve got to think about this for a while.”

“I guess I shouldn‘t go with Denise now, huh?”

Marni lifted her arm to stare at her daughter. If Jenna really wanted to go skiing with the Lamberts, then she should go. Maybe getting away for the day would be good for her. Jenna was too young to be saddled with this sort of a dilemma. “You go ahead. I still have to work this weekend, and I need time to think this thing with your father through before Monday. I have a feeling he‘ll be waiting in my office when I get there.”

“I wish you‘d let me meet him,” Jenna said in a wistful tone.

Marni sighed and stood up. She tried to smile, but the result was more of a grimace. “I‘m sure he‘ll want to meet you, too.” In fact, if she knew Cole as well as she thought she did, he would demand to see his daughter.

Jenna reached over Arlo to the pillow covering the phone. “I‘ve gotta call Denise and tell her I can go.”

“Just make sure you take the phone off the hook again when you‘re done,” Marni told her.

Jenna nodded, then called Arlo before heading toward the door. “You still wanna watch the movie?” she asked, sounding hopeful.

Marni had no intention of denying her daughter anything tonight. Anything except seeing her father. “Sure. Just give me a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay, Mom.” Jenna smiled brightly. As if the entire situation threatening their lives no longer held importance, she bounded out of the room, Arlo at her heels. In a matter of seconds the pair would be ensconced on the old sofa in the den, the phone glued to Jenna‘s ear as she chatted with Denise, no doubt informing her friend of the exciting turn of events.

Marni entered the bathroom and filled the sink with cold water. The wonder of youth, she thought while splashing the icy water on her face. If only she could share the same resilience as her daughter. But Marni was a realist and knew she had no choice but to face her problem with Cole. For a fleeting moment she thought of packing Jenna up in the car and driving away, destination unknown. When they found a place they liked, they could stop. Marni could wait tables if she had to, just to keep Jenna with her. But life wasn‘t quite so simple.

She drained the water out of the sink and flipped off the light. Walking over to the night table, she opened the drawer and sat down on the floral bedspread. Marni reached beneath an array of silk scarves until she found what she was looking for.

The cheap gold frame was cracked and peeled and nearly as old as the photographs behind the protective glass. Marni looked at the four small snapshots of herself and Cole. The pictures had been taken in a photo booth a few days before she‘d left for California. She ran her hand over the glass, outlining Cole‘s firm jaw, tracing her finger over his full lower lip. Precious memories of a short time in her life when she‘d been truly happy.

Regardless of her reasons for ending her relationship with Cole, no matter what her motivation for coming to California, Marni knew in her heart her adorable, precocious daughter was a product of the love she had once shared with Cole. A love that would now turn to hatred, since she, like Elizabeth, had denied him the choice of being a father.

* * *

COLE GLANCED AT THE CLOCK on the VCR and downed the remains of the whiskey, the soda he‘d opened earlier neglected in favor of something stronger. He tried Marni‘s number again only to receive the irritating buzz indicating the line was busy. She‘d taken the phone off the hook.

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