The Blue Days Of Mine. Extended Version

Happy

poem

In the right place

In the smile face

In the best way

In the sunny day

In the past and

In the present

Every time

With the fun

In the dark night

In the first fight

In the last time

In the worst lie

In the mornings

With no mourning

In the summer

With the lover

At the right hour

Dusk till dawn

Like a small secret

We will keep it

In my dreams

As if in old films

I feel happy

Please, don't fake it.

May 1st, 2021

i love me

song

[Verse 1]

I'm the main character,

But not positive and kind.

If my life is a fairytale,

Then I'm Old Shuck, I bite. ¹

I'm Morgana, I'm a villain. ²

Or I'm just your dream.

I'm not even worth a billion.

My price is the whole sea.

[Chorus]

So, they're scared of me like I'm The Black Dog of Newgate, ³

They say I can be cured, but honestly, I think, it's too late.

I'm the she-who-must-be-obeyed. ⁴

But everyone left me and no one stayed.

It turned out that I couldn't foresee.

But I don't care, the one I love is me.

[Verse 2]

Agree or disagree,

To kill or to be killed.

It's half an order, half a plea.

To fight on a foggy field.

Can I not switch roles?

Arthur or Mordred? ⁵

But every person knows.

They're both dead, all mortals.

[Chorus]

But they're scared of me like I'm The Black Dog of Newgate,

They say I can be cured, but honestly, I think, it's too late.

I'm the she-who-must-be-obeyed.

But everyone left me and no one stayed.

It turned out that I couldn't foresee.

But I don't care, the one I love is me.

[Bridge]

You hate yourself as you couldn't withstood,

They advise you to avoid self-criticism.

You love yourself the way you should.

They call it inappropriate kind of egoism.

This is a one-sided perspective

To limit my creativity.

Do you consider the claim to be objective

Or is your goal to project negativity?

[Chorus]

So, they're scared of me like I'm The Black Dog of Newgate,

They say I can be cured, but honestly, I think, it's too late.

I'm the she-who-must-be-obeyed.

But everyone left me and no one stayed.

It turned out that I couldn't foresee.

But I don't care, the one I love is me.

You know, my friend, I'm just fine.

I don't care, because I'm mine

It doesn't matter how you feel.

I know for sure that I love me.

Yes, even if I'm not a queen,

I don't care, 'cause the one I love is me.

[Post-chorus]

So they condemn and say that

I'm a selfish bitch,

But didn't I become a hellcat

Because of their wish?

July 31st, 2020

¹ Old Shuck (aka Black Shuck, Black Dog, etc.) is a Black Dog, a ghostly dog, a character from British folklore. According to the Oxford Dictionary, the name shake comes from the Old English word scucca ("devil, fiend of hell"), or perhaps from the root skuh ("to terrify"). The first printed mention of the Black Dog belongs to the Reverend E. S. Taylor, who described and named this creature "Shaq, the devil dog": "I have heard that many residents of East Norfolk and even Cambridgeshire described this ghost as a huge black shaggy dog with glowing eyes that visits churchyards at midnight". In general, this character is found in the folklore of all the British Isles in one way or another. He has a lot in common (and sometimes is identified) with the well-known Hellhound.

² Morgana is a character in English folklore from the cycle of legends about King Arthur, who is her brother. She is often portrayed in legends as an evil sorceress and an enemy of Arthur.

³ The Black Dog Of Newgate is one of the legends about the Black Dog, in which he appears as the ghost of a sorcerer. The story tells how a sorcerer was imprisoned in Newgate prison. At that time, there was a terrible famine in the country, and other prisoners simply ate the newcomer. Soon, a Black Dog appeared in the prison, who killed these cannibals one by one and even after the survivors escaped, chased them until he destroyed them all.

⁴ She-who-must-be-obeyed is a reference to Henry Rider Haggard's 1887 novel Aesha (in the original She). The novel describes the travels of Horace Holly in the wilds of East Africa, where he searched for the lost kingdom. As a result, he discovered a tribe of savages and the mysterious white queen Aesha, who possesses mystical abilities and immortality. She-who-must-be-obeyed is, one might say, her nickname, "Must-Obey".

⁵ Arthur & Mordred are the heroes of the cycle of legends about King Arthur. Mordred is one of the main antagonists of this cycle. He was knighted at the Round Table, but did not become famous for any exploits, and other knights considered him cowardly and treacherous. It was by Mordred's hand that Arthur died: they fought on the Camlann field and killed each other. No wonder I described the battlefield in the previous verse.

I hope my little baby…

poem

I hope, my little baby, I hope you'll be alright

I hope you will be happy, I hope you will be fine.

I know it 'cause love you, I see your future's bright,

I'll be here above you, sleep peacefully in the night.