The Affair

‘Don’t you think it might be better to do it now?’

‘Now? As in while Mum’s fighting for her life?’ she asked, using the same argument as before for putting off the job search, only with a little more desperation.

‘You know I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that you’re a natural when it comes to being a mum, and Freya’s thrived because you’ve been able to stay at home and look after her. I know you, Vikki. You’d want to give our next baby the best start too, but if you were committed to a career, wouldn’t you feel torn? Wouldn’t it be better to complete our family first?’

‘Is that what you think we should do?’ she asked.

He nibbled her ear again. ‘I want what you want, no more, no less. You’re beautiful, and talented, and amazing. You can do anything you set your mind to.’

‘But it’s not my decision alone. It should be both of us.’

‘And it is. We both agree we want more kids, it’s all about the timing, that’s all. I honestly don’t mind either way, which means it’s only right that you should choose the ‘when’ in our family plan.’

‘But I don’t know,’ Vikki said, struck with sudden doubt. She had been counting down the days until Freya started pre-school and she had set her heart on finding a job that would get her out of the house, but so much had changed. Perhaps she should rethink her plans.

‘Well, maybe it’s something you need to at least start thinking about.’

‘I will,’ she said, and yawned deliberately. ‘But now isn’t exactly the best time to make plans, is it?’

She felt Rob’s chest push against her back as he inhaled deeply and released a sigh. She was tempted to say something else, although what that something should be, she didn’t know. Rob pulled his arm away and turned on to his back so that they were no longer touching. ‘Sorry, you’re right. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I know your mum has to come first for now and, for the record, I think you’re dealing with it all so well. I’m really proud of you, Vikki.’

‘I’m proud of you too,’ she said, turning to look at him. With only the dull glow from the digital clock, she couldn’t read his expression. ‘I couldn’t have coped without your support, you know that, don’t you?’

Rob pulled the covers up over his chest. ‘For what it’s worth, you have it. Don’t ever doubt that,’ he said, and a moment later he was snoring softly. Vikki, on the other hand, held out little hope of finding sleep any time soon.

Friday, 30 October 2015

Vikki stood in her mum’s bedroom, looking out across fields and thick woodland in the distance. The turning leaves of the ancient oaks and beeches lining the horizon had been aflame only yesterday, but in the grey light of a new day, they had turned brown and lifeless. Closer to home, the field that would normally be occupied by half a dozen horses was ominously empty.

It was almost Halloween, after which Vikki would begin counting down to Christmas, but what would the New Year bring? She imagined the field covered in layers of sand, stone and cement to make way for a development of sixteen detached homes, and everything else that entailed. Where once there were wildflowers and hedgerows, there would be Tarmac and block paving.

‘I thought you’d gone.’

The ragged voice was frail and fearful, and had no right belonging to her mum.

‘There’s no rush,’ Vikki said. ‘Freya’s having a nap and Rob’s gone home.’

‘Doesn’t he mind you staying?’

‘Rob was the one who suggested it,’ Vikki assured her. ‘He had another one of his extra-tuition classes this afternoon anyway.’

‘As long as I’m not spoiling your plans. I’m sure I could manage on my own.’

Despite her claims, Elaine could barely manage the task of raising herself into a sitting position.

‘So you keep saying,’ Vikki said.

Before stepping away from the window, she took one last look at the picturesque setting that had made her parents fall in love with the house in the first place, and the reason her mum’s paying guests came back time and again.

‘Have the diggers moved in yet?’ Elaine asked.

‘You weren’t asleep that long.’

‘Maybe I should get up,’ she suggested.

‘No, Mum. You’ve spent the last few days pushing yourself too hard and look what’s happened. The doctor said to stay in bed, so I’m here to make sure that’s what you do.’

Elaine reluctantly allowed her daughter to support her as she pulled herself up. After four days of wondering what all the fuss was about, Elaine’s body had provided an unwelcome reminder that this was a fight for life. When Vikki had arrived that morning for what was meant to be a quick visit with Rob and Freya, Elaine had still been in bed. She had caught a virus.

‘And don’t you worry about what might or might not be happening over the road,’ Vikki continued. ‘Even if the council does approve the planning application, I won’t give up. I’ll write to our MP, I’ll start a petition. I’ll do whatever it takes, even if it means lying down in front of the diggers if they dare to show up.’

Elaine patted the space on the bed next to her and when her daughter sat down, she took hold of her hand. ‘You’re growing up fast.’

‘I’m twenty-four, Mum. I know I don’t always act it, but I am an adult.’

‘Your dad would be proud of you.’

‘Would he?’ Vikki asked. ‘Or would he be disappointed that five years after my gap year, I still don’t have a degree or a career?’

‘He might not have liked it when you announced you were taking a year out, but I think he was quietly pleased that you were strong-minded enough to go out and get what you wanted, so yes, he would be very proud of you. I know I am,’ Elaine said with as much conviction as she could muster. ‘You have a beautiful family, Vikki, and who’s to say none of that other stuff won’t happen in time?’

It was on the tip of Vikki’s tongue to mention Rob’s suggestion of another baby, but she couldn’t yet trust herself to repeat the idea and make it her own. ‘Maybe you’re right.’

Hearing the uncertainty in her daughter’s words, Elaine added, ‘Don’t give up on your dreams, that’s what your dad would be saying to you.’

‘I’m trying not to,’ Vikki said, although she wasn’t too sure any more what those dreams should be. ‘But for now, I’m happy to take things one day at a time. Do you think you could stomach some food? Maybe some toast and a cup of tea?’

Elaine’s features turned green at the suggestion. ‘The only thing I need right now is my next dose of anti-emetics.’

Vikki was quiet for a moment as she wrestled with another decision she had been presented with. ‘Lesley said she’d call in later, but it’s not enough, is it? Truthfully, Mum, do you need me to stay with you for a few days?’

‘Yes.’

Vikki felt a rush of panic. She had expected her mum to put up a fight and make some comment about Vikki’s place being at home with her husband, but there really wasn’t any fight left in her. Vikki’s unease began to ramp up when she realized she would have to tell Rob what she had just done.

Under the guise of fetching Elaine’s medication, Vikki went downstairs to make the call. She didn’t think he would say no – he had told her she had his support – but even so, it had been such a struggle for them both last time. The knot in Vikki’s stomach tightened as Rob’s phone rang out and eventually went to voicemail. He would be at the library with his students so, rather than leave a message, she resigned herself to a nervous wait. Fortunately, he returned her call only a matter of minutes later.

‘Am I disturbing you?’ she asked.

‘No, we were due a break anyway.’

‘Right, the thing is, I’m still with Mum,’ Vikki said slowly. ‘She’s no better. In fact, I think she’s worse.’

‘Ah.’

‘I can’t leave her, Rob,’ she said, and bit her lip before adding, ‘Would you mind if I stayed?’

‘I think the point is, would your mum mind you staying after kicking you out less than a fortnight ago?’

‘She wants me to stay, which only proves how sick she is.’

‘Oh right, so it’s all been arranged and it doesn’t really matter what I think?’

‘It wasn’t like that. I thought she’d say no when I offered,’ she said. ‘If you don’t want me to stay, Rob, then I won’t. I just thought …’

‘It’s all right,’ Rob said softly. ‘Your mum’s ill and I can hardly complain about coming second. I am going to miss my naughty witch, though.’

‘You could still come over tomorrow so we can go trick-or-treating.’

‘Erm, I think I might find some extra marking to do instead.’

‘You’re not angry with me, are you?’ she asked.

‘If I say yes,’ he said, lowering his voice, ‘does that mean you’ll make it up to me when you do come home?’

‘I’ll do whatever you want.’

‘That would be a first,’ Rob said, and Vikki couldn’t be sure if he was playing with her, or if he was genuinely hurt.

‘No, I mean it. I love you,’ she said. ‘If you can put up with me being a terrible wife for a bit longer, I promise I will make it up to you.’

Scarlett

Do you want to hear about the first time we did it? I think I should tell you, just so you know it wasn’t like people think. No way was he abusing me.

It happened on Halloween, which is quite funny when you think about it. I still wasn’t sure how I was supposed to handle this secret power I had over men, and the next minute I was getting to use it. It wasn’t planned or anything. I was too busy dreading Eva’s party. I knew she’d be gloating about being sixteen, even if she wasn’t going to be legal for another week. Not that she had anyone to get legal with at that point.

I know Eva’s my best friend, and don’t get me wrong, she is really pretty, but she has the most ridiculous laugh you can imagine. I think it was her laugh that put boys off, but that wasn’t going to stop Eva trying, and I had this horrible feeling I know who she was after.

I’d been grounded all week and had only been allowed out to go to the library. I definitely wasn’t allowed to see friends, which suited me fine because I much preferred adult company anyway. I was so over being a hysterical teenager and when Bryn dropped me and Liam off at the party, I didn’t want to get out of the car.

‘Call me when you’re ready to come home.’

‘Do we have to come home together?’ I asked. There was no way I was going to waste my breath arguing with my drunken brother about what time to leave.

‘I can walk home,’ Liam said.

‘I have a feeling you won’t be walking in a straight line by midnight,’ Bryn answered. And then to me he said, ‘I’ll pick you up together or separately, whatever you want, Scarlett.’

Seriously, that should have been within five minutes of stepping into the house, which was already full of schoolkids who were pissed before they arrived. I’d been invited for pre-drinks with Linus and a few of the others, but there was no way I’d say yes to him. I wanted Linus to know I wasn’t interested in him, but he didn’t do subtle.

‘Here, you look like you need it,’ he said as he handed me a pint glass full of gin and lemonade.

I must have downed it in a couple of minutes and I did start to relax after that, a bit too much, if I’m honest. A couple of hours later I ended up sitting on Linus’s knee while a group of us talked about life-and-death decisions, like what was better, Burger King or McDonald’s. Linus hadn’t started trying to grope me yet, but it was like only a matter of time.

Anyway, I was messing about on my phone, which was much better than watching Eva and Liam sucking the faces off each other. I wrote out a message and dared myself to send it.

What are you doing?

The reply came maybe ten seconds later.

What are YOU doing?

I told you I’d hate this party and I do

Want to talk about it?

Yes

Want to meet?

Linus was stroking my leg and he kept slipping his hand under my pirate’s jacket. I took one look around the room and asked myself what the hell I was waiting for, but I did hesitate, I swear. I didn’t want to let Mum down, she trusted me. But then I reminded myself how she hadn’t thought about me when she decided to bring Bryn into our lives. Maybe that didn’t justify what I did, but I couldn’t help myself. I sent the reply before I could change my mind.

Yes

Now?

Yes! Yes! Yes!!

Slipping out of the party was easy enough, I just said I was going to the loo and never went back. He was waiting at the top of the road where no one would see me getting into his car. We didn’t really speak until he’d parked up on some quiet country lane that was miles away from anywhere. All I could hear was my heart thudding.

‘I was waiting for your message. I knew you’d want to escape.’

‘I suppose you think you know me so well now.’

He unbuckled his seat belt and turned towards me. ‘I don’t know. Do I?’

I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t daft. I knew what might be about to happen and part of me wanted him to take control and tell me what to do, but he’s not like that.

‘What would you like to talk about, Scarlett?’

I told myself to stop panicking and use my superpowers. ‘Tell me about you,’ I said.

‘What you see is what you get.’

I can’t believe I had the nerve to say what I said next and it was a good job it was dark because I was blushing so much. ‘Really?’ I said. ‘So what am I getting?’

He took hold of my hand and kissed it. I could feel the tip of his tongue licking my skin and you have no idea what it did to me.

‘So what now?’ I asked. I was desperate for the teasing to stop and to just get on and do it.

‘I think you know.’

‘Then say it. Are you too scared?’

‘Are you?’ he asked.

‘I’m on the pill.’

He stretched his spine and groaned. He didn’t look nervous one bit, while I was starting to shake like an idiot.

‘Why don’t we move to the back seat?’ he said. ‘There’s more room there.’

When I got out of the car, I stumbled. It was the fresh air making my head spin, but no way was I going to back out and make an idiot of myself again. We got into the back and sat next to each other like two strangers sitting on a bus. It was just too funny and I had to stop myself from giggling.

‘You’re a beautiful woman, Scarlett,’ he said. ‘Any man would be lucky to be in my position, but I need you to think very carefully about what might be about to happen. This is serious stuff and I’m trusting you. No one can know about this. You do realize how many lives we could destroy, and all because …’

‘Because what?’

‘Because it’s Halloween and you’ve put me under your spell.’ It was such a corny line that I really was about to laugh this time, but what he said next sobered me up straight away. ‘I want you so badly, Scarlett. Do you want me?’

‘Yes,’ I said, and it was so weird because I suddenly wanted to cry. I don’t know why. I wasn’t frightened. I think I was just shocked that someone could want me so much that they would like, put their life in danger for me.

‘I’m a virgin,’ I blurted out.

He smiled. ‘I know, and I’m not going to do anything you don’t want to. You’re the one in control, Scarlett.’

‘But I don’t know what to do.’

‘Why don’t you start by taking those off,’ he said, patting my leg.

I took off my leggings.

‘And your knickers.’

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