How to Write Clearly: Rules and Exercises on English Composition

There is an excessive complication in the following:—"It cannot, at all events, if the consideration demanded by a subject of such importance from any one professing to be a philosopher, be given, be denied that &c."

Where a speaker feels that his hearers have forgotten the connection of the beginning of the sentence, he should repeat what he has said; e.g. after the long parenthesis in the last sentence he should recommence, "it cannot, I say, be denied." In writing, however, this licence must be sparingly used.

A short parenthesis, or modifying clause, will not interfere with clearness, especially if antithesis he used, so as to show the connection between the different parts of the sentence, e.g. "A modern newspaper statement, though probably true, would be laughed at if quoted in a book as testimony; but the letter of a court gossip is thought good historical evidence if written some centuries ago." Here, to place "though probably true" at the beginning of the sentence would not add clearness, and would impair the emphasis of the contrast between "a modern newspaper statement" and "the letter of a court gossip."

*27. In conditional sentences, the antecedent clauses must be kept distinct from the consequent clauses.*—There is ambiguity in "The lesson intended to be taught by these manoeuvres will be lost, if the plan of operations is laid down too definitely beforehand, and the affair degenerates into a mere review." Begin, in any case, with the antecedent, "If the plan," &c. Next write, according to the meaning: (1) "If the plan is laid down, and the affair degenerates &c., then the lesson will be lost;" or (2) " … then the lesson … will be lost, and the affair degenerates into a mere review."

*28. Dependent clauses preceded by "that" should be kept distinct from those that are independent.*

Take as an example:

(1) "He replied that he wished to help them, and intended to make preparations accordingly."

This ought not to be used (though it sometimes is, for shortness) to mean:

(2) "He replied …, and he intended."

In (1), "intended," having no subject, must be supposed to be connected with the nearest preceding verb, in the same mood and tense, that has a subject, i.e. "wished." It follows that (1) is a condensation of:

(3) "He replied that he wished …, and that he intended."

(2), though theoretically free from ambiguity, is practically ambiguous, owing to a loose habit of repeating the subject unnecessarily. It would be better to insert a conjunctional word or a full stop between the two statements. Thus:

(4) "He replied that he wished to help them, and indeed he intended," &c., or "He replied, &c. He intended, &c."

Where there is any danger of ambiguity, use (3) or (4) in preference to (1) or (2).

*29. When there are several infinitives, those that are dependent on the same word must be kept distinct from those that are not.*

"He said that he wished to take his friend with him to visit the capital and to study medicine." Here it is doubtful whether the meaning is—

"He said that he wished to take his friend with him,

(1) and also to visit the capital and study medicine," or

(2) "that his friend might visit the capital and might also study medicine," or

(3) "on a visit to the capital, and that he also wished to study medicine."

From the three different versions it will be perceived that this ambiguity must be met (a) by using "that" for "to," which allows us to repeat an auxiliary verb [e.g. "might" in (2)], and (b) by inserting conjunctions. As to insertions of conjunctions, see (37).

"In order to," and "for the purpose of," can be used to distinguish (wherever there is any ambiguity) between an infinitive that expresses a purpose, and an infinitive that does not, e.g. "He told his servant to call upon his friend, to (in order to) give him information about the trains, and not to leave him till he started."

*30. The principle of suspense.* Write your sentence in such a way that, until he has come to the full stop, the reader may feel the sentence to be incomplete. In other words, keep your reader in suspense. Suspense is caused (1) by placing the "if-clause" first, and not last, in a conditional sentence; (2) by placing participles before the words they qualify; (3) by using suspensive conjunctions, e.g. not only, either, partly, on the one hand, in the first place, &c.

The following is an example of an unsuspended sentence. The sense draggles, and it is difficult to keep up one's attention.

"Mr. Pym was looked upon as the man of greatest experience in parliaments, | where he had served very long, | and was always a man of business, | being an officer in the Exchequer, | and of a good reputation generally, | though known to be inclined to the Puritan party; yet not of those furious resolutions (Mod. Eng. so furiously resolved) against the Church as the other leading men were, | and wholly devoted to the Earl of Bedford,—who had nothing of that spirit."

The foregoing sentence might have ended at any one of the eight points marked above. When suspended it becomes:—

"Mr. Pym, owing to his long service in Parliament in the Exchequer, was esteemed above all others for his Parliamentary experience and for his knowledge of business. He had also a good reputation generally; for, though openly favouring the Puritan party, he was closely devoted to the Earl of Bedford, and, like the Earl, had none of the fanatical spirit manifested against the Church by the other leading men."

*30 a. It is a violation of the principle of Suspense to introduce unexpectedly, at the end of a long sentence, some short and unemphatic clause beginning with (a) " … not" or (b) " … which."*

(a) "This reform has already been highly beneficial to all classes of our countrymen, and will, I am persuaded, encourage among us industry, self-dependence, and frugality, and not, as some say, wastefulness."

Write "not, as some say, wastefulness, but industry, self-dependence, and frugality."

(b) "After a long and tedious journey, the last part of which was a little dangerous owing to the state of the roads, we arrived safely at York, which is a fine old town."

*Exception.*—When the short final clause is intended to be unexpectedly unemphatic, it comes in appropriately, with something of the sting of an epigram. See (42). Thus:

"The old miser said that he should have been delighted to give the poor fellow a shilling, but most unfortunately he had left his purse at home—a habit of his."

Suspense naturally throws increased emphasis on the words for which we are waiting, i.e. on the end of the sentence. It has been pointed out above that *a monotony of final emphasis is objectionable, especially in letter writing and conversation*.

*31. Suspense must not be excessive.* Excess of suspense is a common fault in boys translating from Latin. "Themistocles, having secured the safety of Greece, the Persian fleet being now destroyed, when he had unsuccessfully attempted to persuade the Greeks to break down the bridge across the Hellespont, hearing that Xerxes was in full flight, and thinking that it might be profitable to secure the friendship of the king, wrote as follows to him." The more English idiom is: "When Themistocles had secured the safety of Greece by the destruction of the Persian fleet, he made an unsuccessful attempt to persuade the Greeks to break down the bridge across the Hellespont. Soon afterwards, hearing &c."

A long suspense that would be intolerable in prose is tolerable in the introduction to a poem. See the long interval at the beginning of Paradise Lost between "Of man's first disobedience" and "Sing, heavenly Muse." Compare also the beginning of Paradise Lost, Book II.:

"High on a throne of royal state, which farOutshone the wealth of Ormuz and of Ind,Or where the gorgeous East with richest handShowers on her kings barbaric pearl and gold—Satan exalted sat."

with the opening of Keats' Hyperion:

"Deep in the shady sadness of a vale,Far sunken from the healthy breath of morn,Far from the fiery noon and eve's one star—Sat grey-haired Saturn, quiet as a stone."

*32. In a long conditional sentence put the "if-clause," antecedent, or protasis, first.*

Everyone will see the flatness of "Revenge thy father's most unnatural murder, if thou didst ever love him," as compared with the suspense that forces an expression of agony from Hamlet in—

"Ghost. If thou didst ever thy dear father love— Hamlet. O, God! Ghost. Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder."

The effect is sometimes almost ludicrous when the consequent is long and complicated, and when it precedes the antecedent or "if-clause." "I should be delighted to introduce you to my friends, and to show you the objects of interest in our city, and the beautiful scenery in the neighbourhood, if you were here." Where the "if-clause" comes last, it ought to be very emphatic: "if you were only here."

The introduction of a clause with "if" or "though" in the middle of a sentence may often cause ambiguity, especially when a great part of the sentence depends on "that:" "His enemies answered that, for the sake of preserving the public peace, they would keep quiet for the present, though he declared that cowardice was the motive of the delay, and that for this reason they would put off the trial to a more convenient season." See (27).

*33. Suspense13 is gained by placing a Participle or Adjective that qualifies the Subject, before the Subject.*

"Deserted by his friends, he was forced to have recourse to those that had been his enemies." Here, if we write, "He, deserted by his friends, was forced &c.," he is unduly emphasized; and if we write, "He was forced to have recourse to his enemies, having been deserted by his friends," the effect is very flat.

Of course we might sometimes write "He was deserted and forced &c." But this cannot be done where the "desertion" is to be not stated but implied.

Often, when a participle qualifying the subject is introduced late in the sentence, it causes positive ambiguity: "With this small force the general determined to attack the foe, flushed with recent victory and rendered negligent by success."

An excessive use of the suspensive participle is French and objectionable: e.g. "Careless by nature, and too much engaged with business to think of the morrow, spoiled by a long-established liberty and a fabulous prosperity, having for many generations forgotten the scourge of war, we allow ourselves to drift on without taking heed of the signs of the times." The remedy is to convert the participle into a verb depending on a conjunction: "Because we are by nature careless, &c.;" or to convert the participle into a verb co-ordinate with the principal verb, e.g. "We are by nature careless, &c., and therefore we allow ourselves, &c."

*34. Suspensive Conjunctions, e.g. "either," "not only," "on the one hand," add clearness.*—Take the following sentence:—"You must take this extremely perilous course, in which success is uncertain, and failure disgraceful, as well as ruinous, or else the liberty of your country is endangered." Here, the meaning is liable to be misunderstood, till the reader has gone half through the sentence. Write "Either you must," &c., and the reader is, from the first, prepared for an alternative. Other suspensive conjunctions or phrases are partly, for our part; in the first place; it is true; doubtless; of course; though; on the one hand.

*35. Repeat the Subject when the omission would cause ambiguity or obscurity.*—The omission is particularly likely to cause obscurity after a Relative standing as Subject:—

"He professes to be helping the nation, which in reality is suffering from his flattery, and (he? or it?) will not permit anyone else to give it advice."

The Relative should be repeated when it is the Subject of several Verbs. "All the pleasing illusions which made power gentle and obedience liberal, which harmonized the different shades of life, and which, by a bland assimilation, incorporated into politics the sentiments that beautify and soften private society, are to be dissolved by this new conquering empire of light and reason."

*36. Repeat a Preposition after an intervening Conjunction, especially if a Verb and an Object also intervene.*

"He forgets the gratitude that he owes to those that helped all his companions when he was poor and uninfluential, and (to) John Smith in particular." Here, omit to, and the meaning may be "that helped all his companions, and John Smith in particular." The intervention of the verb and object, "helped" and "companions," causes this ambiguity.

*37. When there are several Verbs at some distance from a Conjunction on which they depend, repeat the Conjunction.*14

"When we look back upon the havoc that two hundred years have made in the ranks of our national authors—and, above all, (when) we refer their rapid disappearance to the quick succession of new competitors—we cannot help being dismayed at the prospect that lies before the writers of the present day."

Here omit "when," and we at once substitute a parenthetical statement for what is really a subordinate clause.

In reporting a speech or opinion, "that" must be continually repeated, to avoid the danger of confusing what the writer says with what others say.

"We might say that the Cæsars did not persecute the Christians; (that) they only punished men who were charged, rightly or wrongly, with burning Rome, and committing the foulest abominations in secret assemblies; and (that) the refusal to throw frankincense on the altar of Jupiter was not the crime, but only evidence of the crime." But see (6 b).

*37 a. Repeat Verbs after the conjunctions "than," "as," &c.*

"I think he likes me better than you;" i.e. either "than you like me," or "he likes you."

"Cardinal Richelieu hated Buckingham as sincerely as did the Spaniard Olivares." Omit "did," and you cause ambiguity.

*38. If the sentence is so long that it is difficult to keep the thread of meaning unbroken, repeat the subject, or some other emphatic word, or a summary of what has been said.*

"Gold and cotton, banks and railways, crowded ports, and populous cities—these are not the elements that constitute a great nation."

This repetition (though useful and, when used in moderation, not unpleasant) is more common with speakers than with writers, and with slovenly speakers than with good speakers.

"The country is in such a condition, that if we delay longer some fair measure of reform, sufficient at least to satisfy the more moderate, and much more, if we refuse all reform whatsoever—I say, if we adopt so unwise a policy, the country is in such a condition that we may precipitate a revolution."

Where the relative is either implied (in a participle) or repeated, the antecedent must often be repeated also. In the following sentence we have the Subject repeated not only in the final summary, but also as the antecedent:—

"But if there were, in any part of the world, a national church regarded as heretical by four-fifths of the nation committed to its care; a church established and maintained by the sword; a church producing twice as many riots as conversions; a church which, though possessing great wealth and power, and though long backed by persecuting laws, had, in the course of many generations, been found unable to propagate its doctrines, and barely able to maintain its ground; a church so odious that fraud and violence, when used against its clear rights of property, were generally regarded as fair play; a church whose ministers were preaching to desolate walls, and with difficulty obtaining their lawful subsistence by the help of bayonets,—such a church, on our principles, could not, we must own, be defended."

*39. It is a help to clearness, when the first part of the sentence prepares the way for the middle and the middle for the end, in a kind of ascent. This ascent is called "climax."*

In the following there are two climaxes, each of which has three terms:—

"To gossip(a) is a fault(b); to libel(a'), a crime(b'); to slander(a''), a sin(b'')."

In the following, there are several climaxes, and note how they contribute to the clearness of a long sentence:—

"Man, working, has contrived(a) the Atlantic Cable, but I declare that it astonishes(b) me far more to think that for his mere amusement(c), that to entertain a mere idle hour(c'), he has created(a') 'Othello' and 'Lear,' and I am more than astonished, I am awe-struck(b'), at that inexplicable elasticity of his nature which enables him, instead of turning away(d) from calamity and grief(e), or instead of merely defying(d') them, actually to make them the material of his amusement(d''), and to draw from the wildest agonies of the human spirit(e') a pleasure which is not only not cruel(f), but is in the highest degree pure and ennobling(f')."

The neglect of climax produces an abruptness that interferes with the even flow of thought. Thus, if Pope, in his ironical address to mankind, had written—

"Go, wondrous creature, mount where science guides;Go, measure earth, weigh air, and state the tides;Go, teach Eternal Wisdom how to rule"—

the ascent would have been too rapid. The transition from earth to heaven, and from investigating to governing, is prepared by the intervening climax—

"Instruct the planets in what orbs to run;Correct old Time, and regulate the Sun;Go, soar with Plato to th' empyreal sphere,To the first good, first perfect, and first fair."

*40. When the thought is expected to ascend and yet descends, feebleness and sometimes confusion is the result. The descent is called "bathos."*

"What pen can describe the tears, the lamentations, the agonies, the animated remonstrances of the unfortunate prisoners?"

"She was a woman of many accomplishments and virtues, graceful in her movements, winning in her address, a kind friend, a faithful and loving wife, a most affectionate mother, and she played beautifully on the pianoforte."

INTENTIONAL BATHOS has a humorous incongruity and abruptness that is sometimes forcible. For example, after the climax ending with the line—

"Go, teach Eternal Wisdom how to rule,"

Pope adds—

"Then drop into thyself, and be a fool."

*40 a. A new construction should not be introduced without cause.*—A sudden and apparently unnecessary change of construction causes awkwardness and roughness at least, and sometimes breaks the flow of the sentence so seriously as to cause perplexity. Thus, write "virtuous and accomplished," or "of many virtues and accomplishments," not "of many virtues and accomplished;" "riding or walking" or "on foot or horseback," not "on foot or riding." In the same way, do not put adjectives and participles, active and passive forms of verbs, in too close juxtaposition. Avoid such sentences as the following:—

"He had good reason to believe that the delay was not an accident (accidental) but premeditated, and for supposing (to suppose, or else, for believing, above) that the fort, though strong both by art and naturally (nature), would be forced by the treachery of the governor and the indolent (indolence of the) general to capitulate within a week."

"They accused him of being bribed (receiving bribes from) by the king and unwilling (neglecting) to take the city."

*41. Antithesis adds force, and often clearness.*—The meaning of liberal in the following sentence is ascertained by the antithesis:—

"All the pleasing illusions which made power(a) gentle(b) and obedience(a') liberal(b') … are now to be destroyed."

There is a kind of proportion. As gentleness is to power, so liberality (in the sense here used) is to obedience. Now gentleness is the check on the excess of power; therefore liberal here applies to that which checks the excess of obedience, i.e. checks servility. Hence liberal here means "free."

The contrast also adds force. "They aimed at the rule(a), not at the destruction(a'), of their country. They were men of great civil(b) and great military(b') talents, and, if the terror(c), the ornament(c') of their age."

Excessive antithesis is unnatural and wearisome:—

"Who can persuade where treason(a) is above reason(a'), and might(b) ruleth right(b'), and it is had for lawful(c) whatsoever is lustful(c'), and commotioners(d) are better than commissioners(d'), and common woe(e) is named common wealth(e')?"

*42. Epigram.*—It has been seen that the neglect of climax results in lameness. Sometimes the suddenness of the descent produces amusement: and when the descent is intentional and very sudden, the effect is striking as well as amusing. Thus:—

(1) "You are not only not vicious, you are virtuous," is a climax.

(2) "You are not vicious, you are vice," is not climax, nor is it bathos: it is epigram.15

Epigram may be defined as a "short sentence expressing truth under an amusing appearance of incongruity." It is often antithetical.

"The Russian grandees came to { and diamonds," climax.

court dropping pearls { and vermin," epigram.

"These two nations were divided { and the bitter remembrance by mutual fear { of recent losses," climax.

{ and mountains," epigram.

There is a sort of implied antithesis in:—

"He is full of information—(but flat also) like yesterday's Times."

"Verbosity is cured (not by a small, but) by a large vocabulary."

The name of epigram may sometimes be given to a mere antithesis; e.g. "An educated man should know something of everything, and everything of something."

*43. Let each sentence have one, and only one, principal subject of thought.*

"This great and good man died on the 17th of September, 1683, leaving behind him the memory of many noble actions, and a numerous family, of whom three were sons; one of them, George, the eldest, heir to his father's virtues, as well as to his principal estates in Cumberland, where most of his father's property was situate, and shortly afterwards elected member for the county, which had for several generations returned this family to serve in Parliament." Here we have (1) the "great and good man," (2) "George," (3) "the county," disputing which is to be considered the principal subject. Two, if not three sentences should have been made, instead of one. Carefully avoid a long sentence like this, treating of many different subjects on one level. It is called heterogeneous.

*44. The connection between different sentences must be kept up by Adverbs used as Conjunctions, or by means of some other connecting words at the beginning of each sentence.*—Leave out the conjunctions and other connecting words, and it will be seen that the following sentences lose much of their meaning:—

"Pitt was in the army for a few months in time of peace. His biographer (accordingly) insists on our confessing, that, if the young cornet had remained in the service, he would have been one of the ablest commanders that ever lived. (But) this is not all. Pitt (, it seems,) was not merely a great poet in esse and a great general in posse, but a finished example of moral excellence…. (The truth is, that) there scarcely ever lived a person who had so little claim to this sort of praise as Pitt. He was (undoubtedly) a great man. (But) his was not a complete and well-proportioned greatness. The public life of Hampden or of Somers resembles a regular drama which can be criticised as a whole, and every scene of which is to be viewed in connection with the main action. The public life of Pitt (, on the other hand,) is," &c.