Hamlet

Exit [Polonius].

Guildenstern. My honour'd lord! 1325

Rosencrantz. My most dear lord!

Hamlet. My excellent good friends! How dost thou, Guildenstern? Ah,

Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do ye both?

Rosencrantz. As the indifferent children of the earth.

Guildenstern. Happy in that we are not over-happy. 1330

On Fortune's cap we are not the very button.

Hamlet. Nor the soles of her shoe?

Rosencrantz. Neither, my lord.

Hamlet. Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her

favours? 1335

Guildenstern. Faith, her privates we.

Hamlet. In the secret parts of Fortune? O! most true! she is a

strumpet. What news ?

Rosencrantz. None, my lord, but that the world's grown honest.

Hamlet. Then is doomsday near! But your news is not true. Let me 1340

question more in particular. What have you, my good friends,

deserved at the hands of Fortune that she sends you to prison

hither?

Guildenstern. Prison, my lord?

Hamlet. Denmark's a prison. 1345

Rosencrantz. Then is the world one.

Hamlet. A goodly one; in which there are many confines, wards, and

dungeons, Denmark being one o' th' worst.

Rosencrantz. We think not so, my lord.

Hamlet. Why, then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good 1350

or bad but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison.

Rosencrantz. Why, then your ambition makes it one. 'Tis too narrow for your

mind.

Hamlet. O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a

king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams. 1355

Guildenstern. Which dreams indeed are ambition; for the very substance of

the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.

Hamlet. A dream itself is but a shadow.

Rosencrantz. Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a quality that

it is but a shadow's shadow. 1360

Hamlet. Then are our beggars bodies, and our monarchs and outstretch'd

heroes the beggars' shadows. Shall we to th' court? for, by my

fay, I cannot reason.

Rosencrantz. [with Guildenstern] We'll wait upon you.

Hamlet. No such matter! I will not sort you with the rest of my 1365

servants; for, to speak to you like an honest man, I am most

dreadfully attended. But in the beaten way of friendship, what

make you at Elsinore?

Rosencrantz. To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.

Hamlet. Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I thank you; 1370

and sure, dear friends, my thanks are too dear a halfpenny. Were

you not sent for? Is it your own inclining? Is it a free

visitation? Come, deal justly with me. Come, come! Nay, speak.

Guildenstern. What should we say, my lord?

Hamlet. Why, anything- but to th' purpose. You were sent for; and 1375

there is a kind of confession in your looks, which your modesties

have not craft enough to colour. I know the good King and Queen

have sent for you.

Rosencrantz. To what end, my lord?

Hamlet. That you must teach me. But let me conjure you by the rights 1380

of our fellowship, by the consonancy of our youth, by the

obligation of our ever-preserved love, and by what more dear a

better proposer could charge you withal, be even and direct with

me, whether you were sent for or no.

Rosencrantz. [aside to Guildenstern] What say you? 1385

Hamlet. [aside] Nay then, I have an eye of you. – If you love me, hold

not off.

Guildenstern. My lord, we were sent for.

Hamlet. I will tell you why. So shall my anticipation prevent your

discovery, and your secrecy to the King and Queen moult no 1390

feather. I have of late- but wherefore I know not- lost all my

mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so

heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth,

seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the

air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical 1395

roof fretted with golden fire- why, it appeareth no other thing

to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a

piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in

faculties! in form and moving how express and admirable! in

action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the 1400

beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! And yet to me what

is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me- no, nor woman

neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

Rosencrantz. My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.

Hamlet. Why did you laugh then, when I said 'Man delights not me'? 1405

Rosencrantz. To think, my lord, if you delight not in man, what lenten

entertainment the players shall receive from you. We coted them

on the way, and hither are they coming to offer you service.

Hamlet. He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall

have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and 1410

target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall

end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose

lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind

freely, or the blank verse shall halt for't. What players are

they? 1415

Rosencrantz. Even those you were wont to take such delight in, the

tragedians of the city.

Hamlet. How chances it they travel? Their residence, both in

reputation and profit, was better both ways.

Rosencrantz. I think their inhibition comes by the means of the late 1420

innovation.

Hamlet. Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was in the

city? Are they so follow'd?

Rosencrantz. No indeed are they not.

Hamlet. How comes it? Do they grow rusty? 1425

Rosencrantz. Nay, their endeavour keeps in the wonted pace; but there is,

sir, an eyrie of children, little eyases, that cry out on the top

of question and are most tyrannically clapp'd for't. These are now

the fashion, and so berattle the common stages (so they call

them) that many wearing rapiers are afraid of goosequills and 1430

dare scarce come thither.

Hamlet. What, are they children? Who maintains 'em? How are they

escoted? Will they pursue the quality no longer than they can

sing? Will they not say afterwards, if they should grow

themselves to common players (as it is most like, if their means 1435

are no better), their writers do them wrong to make them exclaim

against their own succession.

Rosencrantz. Faith, there has been much to do on both sides; and the nation

holds it no sin to tarre them to controversy. There was, for a

while, no money bid for argument unless the poet and the player 1440

went to cuffs in the question.

Hamlet. Is't possible?

Guildenstern. O, there has been much throwing about of brains.

Hamlet. Do the boys carry it away?

Rosencrantz. Ay, that they do, my lord- Hercules and his load too. 1445

Hamlet. It is not very strange; for my uncle is King of Denmark, and

those that would make mows at him while my father lived give

twenty, forty, fifty, a hundred ducats apiece for his picture in

little. 'Sblood, there is something in this more than natural, if

philosophy could find it out. 1450

Flourish for the Players.

Guildenstern. There are the players.

Hamlet. Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands, come! Th'

appurtenance of welcome is fashion and ceremony. Let me comply

with you in this garb, lest my extent to the players (which I 1455

tell you must show fairly outwards) should more appear like

entertainment than yours. You are welcome. But my uncle-father

and aunt-mother are deceiv'd.

Guildenstern. In what, my dear lord?

Hamlet. I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly I 1460

know a hawk from a handsaw.

Enter Polonius.

Polonius. Well be with you, gentlemen!

Hamlet. Hark you, Guildenstern- and you too- at each ear a hearer!

That great baby you see there is not yet out of his swaddling 1465

clouts.

Rosencrantz. Happily he's the second time come to them; for they say an old

man is twice a child.

Hamlet. I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players. Mark it. —

You say right, sir; a Monday morning; twas so indeed. 1470

Polonius. My lord, I have news to tell you.

Hamlet. My lord, I have news to tell you. When Roscius was an actor in Rome-

Polonius. The actors are come hither, my lord.

Hamlet. Buzz, buzz!

Polonius. Upon my honour- 1475

Hamlet. Then came each actor on his ass-

Polonius. The best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy,

history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-pastoral,

tragical-historical, tragical-comical-historical-pastoral; scene

individable, or poem unlimited. Seneca cannot be too heavy, nor 1480

Plautus too light. For the law of writ and the liberty, these are

the only men.

Hamlet. O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a treasure hadst thou!

Polonius. What treasure had he, my lord?

Hamlet. Why, 1485

'One fair daughter, and no more,

The which he loved passing well.'

Polonius. [aside] Still on my daughter.

Hamlet. Am I not i' th' right, old Jephthah?

Polonius. If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter that I 1490

love passing well.

Hamlet. Nay, that follows not.

Polonius. What follows then, my lord?

Hamlet. Why,

'As by lot, God wot,' 1495

and then, you know,

'It came to pass, as most like it was.'

The first row of the pious chanson will show you more; for look

where my abridgment comes.

[Enter four or five Players.] 1500

You are welcome, masters; welcome, all. – I am glad to see thee

well. – Welcome, good friends. – O, my old friend? Why, thy face is

valanc'd since I saw thee last. Com'st' thou to' beard me in

Denmark? – What, my young lady and mistress? By'r Lady, your

ladyship is nearer to heaven than when I saw you last by the 1505

altitude of a chopine. Pray God your voice, like a piece of

uncurrent gold, be not crack'd within the ring. – Masters, you are

all welcome. We'll e'en to't like French falconers, fly at

anything we see. We'll have a speech straight. Come, give us a

taste of your quality. Come, a passionate speech. 1510

First Player. What speech, my good lord?

Hamlet. I heard thee speak me a speech once, but it was never acted;

or if it was, not above once; for the play, I remember, pleas'd

not the million, 'twas caviary to the general; but it was (as I

receiv'd it, and others, whose judgments in such matters cried in 1515

the top of mine) an excellent play, well digested in the scenes,

set down with as much modesty as cunning. I remember one said

there were no sallets in the lines to make the matter savoury,

nor no matter in the phrase that might indict the author of

affectation; but call'd it an honest method, as wholesome as 1520

sweet, and by very much more handsome than fine. One speech in't

I chiefly lov'd. 'Twas AEneas' tale to Dido, and thereabout of it

especially where he speaks of Priam's slaughter. If it live in

your memory, begin at this line- let me see, let me see:

'The rugged Pyrrhus, like th' Hyrcanian beast-' 1525

'Tis not so; it begins with Pyrrhus:

'The rugged Pyrrhus, he whose sable arms,

Black as his purpose, did the night resemble

When he lay couched in the ominous horse,

Hath now this dread and black complexion smear'd 1530

With heraldry more dismal. Head to foot

Now is be total gules, horridly trick'd

With blood of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons,

Bak'd and impasted with the parching streets,

That lend a tyrannous and a damned light 1535

To their lord's murther. Roasted in wrath and fire,

And thus o'ersized with coagulate gore,

With eyes like carbuncles, the hellish Pyrrhus

Old grandsire Priam seeks.'

So, proceed you. 1540

Polonius. Fore God, my lord, well spoken, with good accent and good discretion.

First Player. 'Anon he finds him,

Striking too short at Greeks. His antique sword,

Rebellious to his arm, lies where it falls,

Repugnant to command. Unequal match'd, 1545

Pyrrhus at Priam drives, in rage strikes wide;

But with the whiff and wind of his fell sword

Th' unnerved father falls. Then senseless Ilium,

Seeming to feel this blow, with flaming top

Stoops to his base, and with a hideous crash 1550

Takes prisoner Pyrrhus' ear. For lo! his sword,

Which was declining on the milky head

Of reverend Priam, seem'd i' th' air to stick.

So, as a painted tyrant, Pyrrhus stood,

And, like a neutral to his will and matter, 1555

Did nothing.

But, as we often see, against some storm,

A silence in the heavens, the rack stand still,

The bold winds speechless, and the orb below

As hush as death- anon the dreadful thunder 1560

Doth rend the region; so, after Pyrrhus' pause,

Aroused vengeance sets him new awork;

And never did the Cyclops' hammers fall

On Mars's armour, forg'd for proof eterne,

With less remorse than Pyrrhus' bleeding sword 1565

Now falls on Priam.

Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune! All you gods,

In general synod take away her power;

Break all the spokes and fellies from her wheel,

And bowl the round nave down the hill of heaven, 1570

As low as to the fiends!

Polonius. This is too long.

Hamlet. It shall to the barber's, with your beard. – Prithee say on.

He's for a jig or a tale of bawdry, or he sleeps. Say on; come to

Hecuba. 1575

First Player. 'But who, O who, had seen the mobled queen-'

Hamlet. 'The mobled queen'?

Polonius. That's good! 'Mobled queen' is good.

First Player. 'Run barefoot up and down, threat'ning the flames

With bisson rheum; a clout upon that head 1580

Where late the diadem stood, and for a robe,

About her lank and all o'erteemed loins,

A blanket, in the alarm of fear caught up-

Who this had seen, with tongue in venom steep'd

'Gainst Fortune's state would treason have pronounc'd. 1585

But if the gods themselves did see her then,

When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport

In Mincing with his sword her husband's limbs,

The instant burst of clamour that she made

(Unless things mortal move them not at all) 1590

Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven

And passion in the gods.'

Polonius. Look, whe'r he has not turn'd his colour, and has tears in's

eyes. Prithee no more!

Hamlet. 'Tis well. I'll have thee speak out the rest of this soon. – 1595

Good my lord, will you see the players well bestow'd? Do you

hear? Let them be well us'd; for they are the abstract and brief

chronicles of the time. After your death you were better have a

bad epitaph than their ill report while you live.

Polonius. My lord, I will use them according to their desert. 1600

Hamlet. God's bodykins, man, much better! Use every man after his

desert, and who should scape whipping? Use them after your own

honour and dignity. The less they deserve, the more merit is in

your bounty. Take them in.

Polonius. Come, sirs. 1605

Hamlet. Follow him, friends. We'll hear a play to-morrow.

[Exeunt Polonius and Players [except the First].]

Dost thou hear me, old friend? Can you play 'The Murther of

Gonzago'?

First Player. Ay, my lord. 1610

Hamlet. We'll ha't to-morrow night. You could, for a need, study a

speech of some dozen or sixteen lines which I would set down and

insert in't, could you not?

First Player. Ay, my lord.

Hamlet. Very well. Follow that lord- and look you mock him not. 1615

[Exit First Player.]

My good friends, I'll leave you till night. You are welcome to

Elsinore.

Rosencrantz. Good my lord!

Hamlet. Ay, so, God b' wi' ye! 1620

[Exeunt Rosencrantz and Guildenstern]

Now I am alone.

O what a rogue and peasant slave am I!

Is it not monstrous that this player here,

But in a fiction, in a dream of passion, 1625

Could force his soul so to his own conceit

That, from her working, all his visage wann'd,

Tears in his eyes, distraction in's aspect,

A broken voice, and his whole function suiting

With forms to his conceit? And all for nothing! 1630

For Hecuba!

What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba,

That he should weep for her? What would he do,

Had he the motive and the cue for passion

That I have? He would drown the stage with tears 1635

And cleave the general ear with horrid speech;

Make mad the guilty and appal the free,

Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed

The very faculties of eyes and ears.

Yet I, 1640

A dull and muddy-mettled rascal, peak

Like John-a-dreams, unpregnant of my cause,

And can say nothing! No, not for a king,

Upon whose property and most dear life

A damn'd defeat was made. Am I a coward? 1645

Who calls me villain? breaks my pate across?

Plucks off my beard and blows it in my face?

Tweaks me by th' nose? gives me the lie i' th' throat

As deep as to the lungs? Who does me this, ha?

'Swounds, I should take it! for it cannot be 1650

But I am pigeon-liver'd and lack gall

To make oppression bitter, or ere this

I should have fatted all the region kites

With this slave's offal. Bloody bawdy villain!

Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain! 1655

O, vengeance!

Why, what an ass am I! This is most brave,

That I, the son of a dear father murther'd,

Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell,

Must (like a whore) unpack my heart with words 1660

And fall a-cursing like a very drab,

A scullion!

Fie upon't! foh! About, my brain! Hum, I have heard

That guilty creatures, sitting at a play,

Have by the very cunning of the scene 1665

Been struck so to the soul that presently

They have proclaim'd their malefactions;

For murther, though it have no tongue, will speak

With most miraculous organ, I'll have these Players

Play something like the murther of my father 1670

Before mine uncle. I'll observe his looks;

I'll tent him to the quick. If he but blench,

I know my course. The spirit that I have seen

May be a devil; and the devil hath power

T' assume a pleasing shape; yea, and perhaps 1675

Out of my weakness and my melancholy,

As he is very potent with such spirits,

Abuses me to damn me. I'll have grounds

More relative than this. The play's the thing

Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the King. Exit. 1680

Act III, Scene 1.

Elsinore. The platform before the Castle.

Enter King, Queen, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern,

and Lords.

Claudius. And can you by no drift of circumstance

Get from him why he puts on this confusion,

Grating so harshly all his days of quiet 1685

With turbulent and dangerous lunacy?

Rosencrantz. He does confess he feels himself distracted,

But from what cause he will by no means speak.

Guildenstern. Nor do we find him forward to be sounded,

But with a crafty madness keeps aloof 1690

When we would bring him on to some confession

Of his true state.

Gertrude. Did he receive you well?

Rosencrantz. Most like a gentleman.

Guildenstern. But with much forcing of his disposition. 1695

Rosencrantz. Niggard of question, but of our demands

Most free in his reply.

Gertrude. Did you assay him

To any pastime?

Rosencrantz. Madam, it so fell out that certain players 1700

We o'erraught on the way. Of these we told him,

And there did seem in him a kind of joy

To hear of it. They are here about the court,

And, as I think, they have already order

This night to play before him. 1705

Polonius. 'Tis most true;

And he beseech'd me to entreat your Majesties

To hear and see the matter.

Claudius. With all my heart, and it doth much content me

To hear him so inclin'd. 1710

Good gentlemen, give him a further edge

And drive his purpose on to these delights.

Rosencrantz. We shall, my lord.

Exeunt Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

Claudius. Sweet Gertrude, leave us too; 1715

For we have closely sent for Hamlet hither,

That he, as 'twere by accident, may here

Affront Ophelia.

Her father and myself (lawful espials)

Will so bestow ourselves that, seeing unseen, 1720

We may of their encounter frankly judge

And gather by him, as he is behav'd,