Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour

Mabel

Don't be flippant. It's a serious matter.

John

My dear girl, you really can't expect me to play the heavy father when we've only been married six months. It would be almost improper.

Mabel

Don't be horrid, John.

John

It isn't horrid, it's natural history.

Mabel

[Primly.] I was never taught it. It's not thought nice for young girls to know.

John

Why didn't you tell me that Hilda was fond of Basil! Does he like her?

Mabel

I don't know. I expect that's precisely what she's asking him.

John

Mabel, do you mean to say you brought me here, an inoffensive, harmless creature, for your sister to propose to a pal of mine? It's an outrage.

Mabel

She's doing nothing of the sort.

John

You needn't look indignant. You can't deny that you proposed to me.

Mabel

I can, indeed. If I had I should never have taken such an unconscionably long time about it.

John

I wonder why Hilda wants to marry poor Basil!

Mabel

Well, Captain Murray left her five thousand a year, and she thinks Basil Kent a genius.

John

There's not a drawing-room in Regent's Park or in Bayswater that hasn't got its tame genius. I don't know if Basil Kent is much more than very clever.

Mabel

Anyhow, I'm sure it's a mistake to marry geniuses. They're horribly bad-tempered, and they invariably make love to other people's wives.

John

Hilda always has gone in for literary people. That's the worst of marrying a cavalryman, it leads you to attach so much importance to brains.

Mabel

Yes, but she needn't marry them. If she wants to encourage Basil let her do it from a discreet distance. Genius always thrives best on bread and water and platonic attachments. If Hilda marries him he'll only become fat and ugly and bald-headed and stupid.

John

Why, then he'll make an ideal Member of Parliament.

[Basil and Hilda come into the room again.Mabel

[Maliciously.] Well, what have you been talking about?

Hilda

[Acidly.] The weather and the crops, Shakespeare and the Musical Glasses.

Mabel

[Raising her eyebrows.] Oh!

Hilda

It's getting very late, Mabel. We really must be going.

Mabel

[Getting up.] And I've got to pay at least twelve calls. I hope every one will be out.

Hilda

People are so stupid, they're always in when you call.

Mabel

[Holding out her hand to Basil.] Good-bye.

Hilda

[Coldly.] Thanks so much, Mr. Kent. I'm afraid we disturbed you awfully.

Basil

[Shaking hands with her.] I've been enchanted to see you. Good-bye.

Mabel

[Lightly.] We shall see you again before you go to Italy, shan't we?

Basil

Oh, I'm not going to Italy now, I've changed all my plans.

Mabel

[Giving John a look.] Oh! Well, good-bye. Aren't you coming, John.

John

No: I think I'll stay and have a little chat with Basil, while you tread the path of duty.

Mabel

Well, mind you're in early. We've got a lot of disgusting people coming to dinner.

Hilda

[With a smile.] Poor things! Who are they?

Mabel

I forget who they are. But I know they're loathsome. That's why I asked them.

[Basil opens the door, and the two women go out.John

[Sitting down and stretching himself.] Now that we've got rid of our womankind let's make ourselves comfortable. [Taking a pipe out of his pocket.] I think I'll sample your baccy if you'll pass it along.

Basil

[Handing him the jar.] I'm rather glad you stayed, John. I wanted to talk to you.

John

Ha! ha!

[Basil pauses a moment, while John looks at him with amusement. He fills his pipe.John

[Lighting his pipe.] Nice gal, Hilda – ain't she?

Basil

[Enthusiastically.] Oh, I think she's perfectly charming… But what makes you say that?

John

[Innocently.] Oh, I don't know. Passed through my head.

Basil

I say, I've got something to tell you, John.

John

Well, don't be so beastly solemn about it.

Basil

[Smiling.] It's a solemn thing.

John

No, it ain't. I've done it myself. It's like a high dive. When you look down at the water it fairly takes your breath away, but after you've done it – it's not so bad as you think. You're going to be married, my boy.

Basil

[With a smile.] How the deuce d'you know?

John

[Gaily.] Saw it with mine own eyes. I congratulate you, and I give you my blessing. I'll get a new frock-coat to give the lady away in.

Basil

You?.. [Suddenly understanding.] You're on the wrong tack, old man. It's not your sister-in-law I'm going to marry.

John

Then why the dickens did you say it was?

Basil

I never mentioned her name.

John

H'm! I've made rather more than an average ass of myself, haven't I?

Basil

What on earth made you think…?

John

[Interrupting.] Oh, it was only some stupid idea of my wife's. Women are such fools, you know. And they think they're so confoundedly sharp.

Basil

[Disconcerted—looking at him.] Has Mrs. Murray…?

John

No, of course not! Well, who the deuce are you going to marry?

Basil

[Flushing.] I'm going to marry Miss Jenny Bush.

John

Never heard of her. Is it any one I know?

Basil

Yes, you knew her.

John

[Searching his memory.] Bush … Bush… [With a smile.] The only Jenny Bush I've ever heard of was a rather pretty little barmaid in Fleet Street. Presumably you're not going to marry her.

[John has said this quite lightly, not guessing for a moment that it can have anything to do with the person Basil proposes to marry. Then, since Basil makes no answer, John looks at him sharply: there is a silence while the two men stare at one another.

John

Basil, it's not the woman we used to know before you went out to the Cape?

Basil

[Pale and nervous, but determined.] I've just told you that you used to know Jenny.

John

Man alive, you're not going to marry the barmaid of the "Golden Crown"?

Basil

[Looking at him steadily.] Jenny was a barmaid at the "Golden Crown."

John

But, good Lord, Basil, what d'you mean? You're not serious?

Basil

Perfectly! We're going to be married this day week.

John

Are you stark, staring mad? Why on earth d'you want to marry Jenny Bush?

Basil

That's rather a delicate question, isn't it? [With a smile.] Presumably because I'm in love with her.

John

Well, that's a silly ass of an answer.

Basil

It's quite the most obvious.

John

Nonsense! Why, I've been in love with twenty girls, and I haven't married them all. One can't do that sort of thing in a country where they give you seven years for bigamy. Every public-house along the Thames from Barnes to Taplow is the tombstone of an unrequited passion of my youth. I loved 'em dearly, but I never asked 'em to marry me.

Basil

[Tightening his lips.] I'd rather you didn't make jokes about it, John.

John

Are you sure you're not making an ass of yourself? If you've got into a mess, surely we can get you out. Marriage, like hanging, is rather a desperate remedy.

[Basil is sitting down and moodily shrugs his shoulders. John goes up to him, and putting his hands on his friend's shoulders looks into his eyes.

John

Why are you going to marry her, Basil?

Basil

[Springing up impatiently.] Damn you, why don't you mind your own business?

John

Don't be a fool, Basil.

Basil

Can't I marry any one I choose? It's nothing to you, is it? D'you suppose I care if she's a barmaid?

[He walks up and down excitedly, while John with steady eyes watches him.

John

Basil, old man, we've known each other a good many years now. Don't you think you'd better trust me?

Basil

[Setting his teeth.] What d'you want to know?

John

Why are you going to marry her?

Basil

[Abruptly, fiercely.] Because I must.

John

[Nodding his head quietly.] I see.

[There is a silence. Then Basil, more calmly turns to John.

Basil

D'you remember Jenny?

John

Yes, rather. Why, we always lunched there in the old days.

Basil

Well, after I came back from the Cape I began going there again. When I was out there she took it into her head to write me a letter, rather ill-spelt and funny – but I was touched that she thought of me. And she sent some tobacco and some cigarettes.

John

My maiden aunt sent you a woollen comforter, but I'm not aware that in return you ever made her a proposal of marriage.

Basil

And so in one way and another I came to know Jenny rather well. She appeared to get rather fond of me – and I couldn't help seeing it.

John

But she always pretended to be engaged to that scrubby little chap with false teeth who used to hang about the bar and make sheep's eyes at her over innumerable Scotch-and-sodas.

Basil

He made a scene because I took her out on one of her off-nights, and she broke it off. I couldn't help knowing it was on my account.

John

Well, and after that?

Basil

After that I got into the habit of taking her to the play, and so on. And finally…!

John

How long has this been going on?

Basil

Several months.

John

And then?

Basil

Well, the other day she wired for me. I found her in the most awful state. She was simply crying her eyes out, poor thing. She'd been seedy and gone to the doctor's. And he told her …

John

What you might really have foreseen.

Basil

Yes… She was quite hysterical. She said she didn't know what to do nor where to go. And she was in an awful funk about her people. She said she'd kill herself.

John

[Drily.] Naturally she was very much upset.

Basil

I felt the only thing I could do was to ask her to marry me. And when I saw the joy that came into her poor, tear-stained face I knew I'd done the right thing.

[There is a pause. John walks up and down, then stops suddenly and turns to Basil.

John

Have you thought that you, who've never needed to economise, will have to look at every shilling you spend? You've always been careless with your money, and what you've had you've flung about freely.

Basil

[Shrugging his shoulders.] If I have to submit to nothing worse than going without a lot of useless luxuries, I really don't think I need complain.

John

But you can't afford to keep a wife and an increasing family.

Basil

I suppose I can make money as well as other men.

John

By writing books?

Basil

I shall set to work to earn my living at the Bar. Up till now I've never troubled myself.

John

I don't know any man less fit than you for the dreary waiting and the drudgery of the Bar.

Basil

We shall see.

John

And what d'you think your friends will say to your marrying – a barmaid?

Basil

[Contemptuously.] I don't care two straws for my friends.

John

That's pleasant for them. You know, men and women without end have snapped their fingers at society and laughed at it, and for a while thought they had the better of it. But all the time society was quietly smiling up its sleeve, and suddenly it put out an iron hand – and scrunched them up.

Basil

[Shrugging his shoulders.] It only means that a few snobs will cut me.

John

Not you – your wife.

Basil

I'm not such a cad as to go to a house where I can't take my wife.

John

But you're the last man in the world to give up these things. There's nothing you enjoy more than going to dinner-parties and staying in country houses. Women's smiles are the very breath of your nostrils.

Basil

You talk of me as if I were a tame cat. I don't want to brag, John, but after all, I've shown that I'm fit for something in this world. I went to the Cape because I thought it was my duty. I intend to marry Jenny for the same reason.

John

[Seriously.] Will you answer me one question – on your honour?

Basil

Yes.

John

Are you in love with her?

Basil

[After a pause.] No.

John

[Passionately.] Then, by God, you have no right to marry her. A man has no right to marry a woman for pity. It's a cruel thing to do. You can only end by making yourself and her entirely wretched.

Basil

I can't break the poor girl's heart.

John

You don't know what marriage is. Even with two people who are devoted to one another, who have the same interests and belong to the same class, it's sometimes almost unbearable. Marriage is the most terrible thing in the world unless passion makes it absolutely inevitable.

Basil

My marriage is absolutely inevitable – for another reason.

John

You talk as if such things had never happened before.

Basil

Oh, I know, they happen every day. It's no business of the man's. And as for the girl, let her throw herself in the river. Let her go to the deuce, and be hanged to her.

John

Nonsense. She can be provided for. It only needs a little discretion – and no one will be a ha'porth the wiser, nor she a ha'porth the worse.

Basil

But it's not a matter of people knowing. It's a matter of honour.

John

[Opening his eyes.] And where precisely did the honour come in when you…?

Basil

Good heavens, I'm a man like any other. I have passions as other men have.

John

[Gravely.] My dear Basil, I wouldn't venture to judge you. But I think it's rather late in the day to set up for a moralist.

Basil

D'you think I've not regretted what I did? It's easy enough afterwards to say that I should have resisted. The world would be a Sunday School if we were all as level-headed at night as we are next morning.

John

[Shaking his head.] After all, it's only a very regrettable incident due to your youth and – want of innocence.

Basil

[With vehement seriousness.] I may have acted like a cur. I don't know. I acted as I suppose every other man would. But now I have a plain duty before me, and, by God, I mean to do it.

John

Don't you realise that you've only one life and that mistakes are irreparable? People play with life as if it were a game of chess in which they can try this move and that, and when they get into a muddle, sweep the board clear and begin again.

Basil

But life is a game of chess in which one is always beaten. Death sits on the other side of the board, and for every move he has a counter-move. And for all your deep-laid schemes he has a parry.

John

But if at the end Death always mates you, the fight is surely worth the fighting. Don't handicap yourself at the beginning by foolish quixotry. Life is so full. It has so much to offer, and you're throwing away almost everything that makes it worth the trouble.

Basil

[Gravely.] Jenny would kill herself if I didn't marry her.

John

You don't seriously think she'd do that. People don't commit suicide so easily, you know.

Basil

You've thought of a great deal, John – you've not thought of the child. I can't let the child skulk into the world like a thief. Let him come in openly and lawfully. And let him go through the world with an honest name. Good heavens, the world's bad enough without fettering him all his life with a hideous stigma.

John

Oh, my dear Basil …

Basil

[Interrupting.] You can bring forward a thousand objections, but nothing alters the fact that, under the circumstances, there's only one way open to a man of honour.

John

[Drily.] Well, it's a way that may do credit to your heart, but scarcely to your understanding.

Basil

I thought you'd see at once that I was doing the only possible thing.

John

My dear Basil, you talk of pity, and you talk of duty, but are you sure there's anything more in it than vanity? You've set yourself up on a sort of moral pinnacle. Are you sure you don't admire your own heroism a little too much?

Basil

[With a good-natured smile.] Does it look so petty as that in your eyes? After all, it's only common morality.

John

[Impatiently.] But, my dear chap, its absurd to act according to an unrealisable ideal in a world that's satisfied with the second-rate. You're tendering bank-notes to African savages, among whom cowrie shells are common coin.

Basil

[Smiling.] I don't know what you mean.

John

Society has made its own decalogue, a code that's just fit for middling people who are not very good and not very wicked. But Society punishes you equally if your actions are higher than its ideal or lower.

Basil

Sometimes it makes a god of you when you're dead.

John

But it takes precious good care to crucify you when you're alive.

[There is a knock at the door, and Mrs. Griggs comes in.

Mrs. Griggs

Some more visitors, Sir.

Basil

Show 'em in. [To John] It's Jenny. She said she was coming to tea.

John

[With a smile.] Oh, the cake was for her, was it? Would you like me to go?

Basil

Not unless you choose. Do you suppose I'm ashamed?

John

I thought, after all you've told me, you might not care for me to see her.

[Jenny Bush and her brother James come in. She is very pretty, with delicate features and a beautiful complexion: her fair hair is abundant and very elaborately arranged. She is dressed smartly, rather showily. It is the usual type of barmaid, or tea-girl, a shade more refined perhaps than the common run. Her manners are unobjectionable, but not those of a gentlewoman. James is a young man with clean-shaven face and a sharp expression. He is over-dressed in a very horsey manner, and is distinctly more vulgar than his sister. He talks English with a cockney accent, not invariably dropping his aitches, but only now and then. He is over cordial and over genial.

Jenny

[Going up to Basil.] I'm awfully late, I couldn't come before.

James

[Jocosely.] Don't mind me. Give 'im a kiss, old tart.

Jenny

Oh, I brought my brother Jimmie to see you.

Basil

[Shaking hands.] How d'you do?

James

Nicely, thanks. Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Jenny

[Looking at John and suddenly recognising him.]

Well, I never! If that isn't old John Halliwell. I didn't expect to see you. This is a treat.

John

How d'you do?

Jenny

What are you doing here?

John

I've been having a cup of tea with Basil.

Jenny

[Looking at the tea-things.] D'you always drink out of three cups at once?

John

My wife has been here – and her sister.

Jenny

Oh, I see. Fancy your being married. How d'you like it?

John

All right, thanks.

[Basil pours out a cup of tea, and during the following speeches gives Jenny milk and sugar and cake.

James

People say it wants a bit of gettin' used to.

John

Mr. Bush, you're a philosopher.

James

Well, I will say this for myself, you'd want to get up early in the morning to catch me nappin'. I didn't catch your name.

John

Halliwell.

James

'Alliwell?

John

[Emphasising the H.] Halliwell.

James

That's what I say – 'Alliwell. I knew a fellow in the meat trade called 'Alliwell. Any relation?

John

I don't think so.

James

Fine business 'e 'ad too. There's a rare lot of money to be made out of meat.

John

I dare say.

Jenny.

[To John.] It is a long time since I've seen you. I suppose you've quietened down now you're a married man. You were a hot 'un when you was a bachelor.

James

[Facetiously.] Don't make 'im blush, Jenny. Accidents will 'appen in the best regulated families. And boys will be boys, as they say in the Bible.

John

I think I must be off, Basil.

James

Well, I'll be toddlin' too. I only come in just to say 'ow d'you do to my future brother-in-law. I'm a fellow as likes to be cordial. There's no 'aughtiness about me.

Basil

[Politely, but not effusively.] Oh; won't you stay and have some tea?

James

No, thanks. I'm not much of an 'and at tea; I leave that to females. I like something stronger myself.

Jenny

[Remonstrating.] Jimmie!

Basil

I have some whisky, Mr. Bush.

James

Oh, blow the Mister and blow the Bush. Call me Jimmie. I can't stand ceremony. The way I look on it is this. We're both of us gentlemen. Now, mind you, I'm not a fellow to praise myself. But I will say this: I am a gentleman. That's not self-praise, is it?

John

Dear me, no. Mere statement of fact.

James

Well, as I was saying, I know I'm a gentleman. It's a thing you can't 'elp, so what's the good of being proud about it? If I meet a chap in a pub, and he invites me to have a drink, I don't ask him if he's a Lord.

Basil

But you just take it.

James

Well, you'd do the same yourself, wouldn't you?

Basil

I dare say. But will you have a drink now?

James

Oh, bless you, I know what it is to be engaged. I don't want to disturb you canary-birds. Me and 'Alliwell 'll go and have a gargle round the corner. I see you've got a public nice and 'andy. [To John.] I suppose you're not above goin' in there now and again, eh?

Jenny

[With a laugh.] He came into the "Golden Crown" every day of his life, and chance it!

John

I'm afraid I'm in a great hurry.

James

'Ang it all, one's always got time to have a drop of Scotch in this life.

Basil

[To James, handing him the box.] Well, take a cigar with you.

James

[Taking and examining one.] If you are so pressing. Villar y Villar… What do they run you in a hundred?

Basil

They were given to me, I really don't know what they cost. [He lights a match.] Won't you take the label off?

James

Not if I know it. I don't smoke a Villar y Villar every day, but when I do, I smoke it with the label on.

Jenny

[Laughing.] Jimmie, you are a caution!

John

[Shaking hands with Jenny.] Good-bye and – my best wishes.

Jenny

Thanks. You didn't expect I'd marry Basil when I used to mix cocktails for you in the "Golden Crown," did you?

James

Come on, 'Alliwell. Don't stop there gassing. You'll only disturb the canary-birds. So long, old tart, see you later. Ta-ta, Basil, old man.

Basil

Good-bye – Jimmie.

[John Halliwell and James go out, Jenny goes up to Basil impulsively.

Jenny

Kiss me. [He kisses her, smiling.] There! Now I can sit down quietly and talk. How d'you like my brother?

Basil

Oh – I hardly know him yet. He seems very amiable.

Jenny

He's not a bad sort when you know him. He's just like my mother.

Basil

[Raising his brows.] Is he? And – is your father like that too?

Jenny

Well, you know, Pa hasn't had the education that Jimmie's had. Jimmie was at a boarding-school at Margate.

Basil

Was he?

Jenny

You were at a boarding-school, too, weren't you?

Basil

[Smiling.] Yes, I was at Harrow.

Jenny

Ah, you don't get the fine air at Harrow that you get at Margate.

Basil

Shall I put down your cup?

Jenny

[Placing it on a table.] Oh, thanks, it's all right. Come and sit by me, Basil.

Basil

[Seating himself on the arm of her chair.] There.

Jenny

[Taking his hand.] I'm so glad we're alone. I should like to be alone with you all my life. You do love me, don't you, Basil?

Basil

Yes.

Jenny

Much?

Basil

[Smiling.] Yes.

Jenny

I'm so glad. Oh, I don't know what I should do if you didn't love me. If you hadn't been kind to me I should have thrown myself in the river.

Basil

What nonsense you talk.

Jenny

I mean it.

[He passes his hand affectionately over her hair.

Jenny

Oh, you are so good, Basil. I'm so proud of you. I shall be so proud to be your wife.

Basil

[Gravely.] Don't think too well of me Jenny.

Jenny

[With a laugh.] I'm not afraid of that. You're brave and you're clever and you're a professional man, and you're everything.

Basil

You foolish child.

Jenny

[Passionately.] I can't tell you how much I love you.

Basil

I'll try with all my might to be a good husband to you, Jenny.

[She flings her arms round his neck and they kiss one another.End of the First Act

THE SECOND ACT

An Interval of One Year Elapses Between Acts I. and II

The drawing-room in Basil's house at Putney. In the wall facing the auditorium there is a door leading from the passage. On the right two doors lead into bedrooms, and opposite these is a bay window. The same pictures and plates decorate the walls as in the preceding Scene; the writing-table is between the side doors. Jenny's influence is noticeable in the cushions in the wicker-work arm-chairs, in the window curtains and portières of art serge, and in the huge chrysanthemums of the wall paper.