Sex & Intimacy 101

Stage 2

Here, the vagina continues to be puffy and penis becomes firmer. There is more that happens than the snake being let out to play. Testis or the balls move slowly up the scrotum. Vaginal walls grow thicker and the clitoris, (a small city of pleasure the size of a bean seed) starts playing hide and seek. It simply goes into its hood. The color of the vagina may change and this might be more noticeable if the person is light skinned coz it turns reddish or purplish particularly on its lips. Obviously that’s a traffic light or a red robot but in the bedroom, red means go. What happens when a car prepares to depart might as well happen to these two lovers. Breathing intensifies, and one can only expect that the lungs have joined in and that’s why there is heavy breathing. It will take a trained eye to notice that the muscles around the waists and hips and buttocks have tightened. The environment is ‘‘hot’’ and the war is about to begin. Don’t disappoint, this I must say again and again. Very few men in a society know what it is to not disappoint. You see, the vagina and the penis are very technical and until you have properly studied them you will have a reason to believe in evolution. I am a preacher who doesn’t believe the idea that the vagina and the penis are a result of evolution or adaptation. Someone deliberately made these things. That person must be God.

Stage 3

After oral sex, foreplay and all the body chores, the pumping is on, beginning with the missionary position. I hate to call it the missionary position. Its a basic position where a man is on top of a woman. But you can do vise-versa and call that woman-on-top or reverse-cow-girl. I will show you that later on when we talk about sex positions. Many people despise Christians because some Christians have the tendency of looking lame and seeming to not be in touch with matters of pleasure while trying to prove how holy they are. This position of man on top, is basic and was thus called the missionary position to mock the insipid Christian lack of interest in sex. Stage three; sex goes on and on and on. We are talking penetration here (Biceps and triceps move). There is pumping, no doubt and there are contractions and various positions if need be to enhance penetrations, and sex is at its highest. Maybe at this point it makes sense to review those earlier on comments in which some say they feel the mind is blanking out, some say it’s like a ride on Virgin Atlantic. A blatantly honest guy says ‘‘its like someone is hitting me with a hammer in the head and I am splitting into pieces’’. Is that so? Strange neh? According to Dr Arun Ghosh, who specializes in sexual health at the Spire Liverpool Hospital, a hormone called oxytocin is released during sex. This hormone is also known as the love hormone and makes one more loving, yielding to the other. It makes one to feel empathetic. They say ‘‘it lowers our defenses and makes us trust people more.’’ It’s the reason why your lady still loves you when you have let her down so many times. It creates that bonding effect and this hormone is released in better amounts in women. It makes them to love their men and love their kids. Mothers produce oxytocin when breast-feeding. That’s why mothers by nature just love their kids and would die for them. Diane Witt, an assistant professor of psychology, has done experiments that demonstrate that the hindrance of the release of this hormone in sheep and rats caused them to reject their young ones. Guys, God is a genius and Charles Darwin was crazy. What part of these things is coincidence from a big bang?

Okay, lets go on. So, the man continues bonking and the woman mourns in that enjoyment mode that says ‘‘carry on dude, don’t stop just yet.’’ Oxytocin is released. What happens next? Sex goes on... ‘‘ The problem is that when a man has an orgasm, the main hormone released is dopamine — the pleasure hormone. And this surge can be addictive,’’ says Dr Ghosh. Dopamine is a chemical that stimulates the rush of pleasure and makes one to feel as though they are riding a surf board at Durban summer thrill. Scientifically speaking, ‘‘its a compound present in the body as a neurotransmitter and a precursor of other substances including epinephrine.’’ One guy wrote in a magazine that even if your boss were to appear at that time, you wouldn’t have an atom of reverential fear for him/her. Some say the mind goes blank. A Christian might say it is then that you see the greatness of God. But most agree that you see nothing. But this stage is very pleasurable and causes men to be addicted to sex because it has the same effect as crack cocaine. Dopamine is dope nigga. Sex is the only legal way to have pleasure enough to rival some of the very drugs banned by the state. That’s why some people promise others trains when they are at this point. Some scream ‘‘marry me.’’ Years ago, a woman in South Africa complained that her guy screams too loud during climax and this embarrasses her. Recently, in the western world, was that United Kingdom?:— The court charged a woman for screaming loud everytime she reached climax thus disturbing her neighbors. Climax during sex is a very exhilarating moment. Sex, if it is by any means extremely wonderful, has that meeting point between a dopamine obsession and an oxytocin intoxication. That’s why we preachers have been saying that the Bible says, ‘‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’’,(Genesis 2:24). The moment oxytocin is released, the woman and the man start having empathy for each other. She feels as if she were you. You become a part of her. That’s why she grieves when you die. That’s why she irons your clothes and gives you food as if she were doing it to herself. Please ‘‘Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love’’,(Proverbs 6:19). Don’t go screwing everybody around and doing oxytocin with everyone. Why ‘‘should you my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?’’(Proverbs 6:20).

I have sat with women who were beaten by their boyfriends, bruised, hurting, abused, neglected, cheated on and they couldn’t leave them. Why?:—shout ‘‘oxytocin!’’ They had bonded with them. To leave him has become to leave yourself because ‘‘ a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’’,(Genesis 2:24). People love themselves and when you go into bed with someone, chances are you will end up loving him or her the way you love yourself. That’s why is not good to be doing one night stands and going dope with a person you don’t know. If you are going to have sex with someone, you better make sure it’s a committed arrangement, so that you don’t just leave anytime you want and leave the person torn apart. Why will a guy scream a girl’s name and want to buy her a train? You know the answer: —dopamine. That’s why mothers often say, ‘‘I don’t understand my son. After I have cared for him this long, how does he buy his wife a merc when I am still driving an old corolla. ’’ Let me answer that, ‘‘Well, your son is going dope, mom’’ Get it? Heish, knowledge is beautiful. I thank God for giving me a love for knowledge. I know some people just hate me for saying the good old truth. They want hypocrisy. But I believe a Christian should have a good shag. He or she should know better, the things God created. We often say ‘‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’’,(Philippians 4:13). Can’t Christ give you the strength to have proper sex that could humble a porn star? If not, then your faith is vanity.You ‘ve got to be joking folk. Give that spouse of yours some good sex. Give her oxytocin. Keep her captured by your warmth.

Okay enough of that, let’s now return to the subject matter. Let’s get back to this stage. At this stage, the sex is good. Lovers are screaming and feeling the bolt of lightning sensation. Somebody is calling for God or mama (they never call for daddy anyway). Hormones are being released and there is that ‘‘do not disturb’’ notice at the door of a hotel room. Heish, that’s why sometimes I loathe hotel beds of businesses that care less about hygiene. Hotel beds can be dirty sex grounds if a hotel is not thorough at cleaning coz there are fluid secretions during sex. What’s next? Obviously if the two love birds know what they are doing then walls of the vagina begin to contract. There is that earthquake sensation, and there is probably additional vaginal lubrication. The woman cums, and ‘‘female ejaculation’’ occurs. I guess we never learned about it at school. The guy starts screaming, crying or mourning if not staring at the air with the mind ‘‘blank’’... (well it varies from guy to guy) . Not every guy calls his lady’s name three times. The cuming stage is the climax stage and if you have done business admin or marketing at school, the whole sexual thing is like a product life cycle. After the climax, things should reach a decline (a gradual one though). In My other book,the spiritual relationship, I wrote as follows : Climax is the zenith of sexual affection. It is understood to be the most joyous moment in a sexual activity. It is the moment of sexual satisfaction and achievement. Women experience contractions and vibrations while men release spermatozoa at this time of the intercourse. In women this may be a 15 seconds interval while for men it is roughly 4-5 seconds. The most important thing is that it is a moment of achieving satisfaction (end of quote). Just a moment prior to coming, lovers had become a bit numb, the same way one feels when they drink a considerable amount of scotch whisky. This is because during sex craze, the sensory cortex of the brain is affected. That is why you won’t be respectful even if the state president appeared instantly by your bedside during climax. Did you know that good sex can be so good that it wipes away memory? You can forget your middle name if the sex was really really good. According to one blogger, ‘‘Sometimes, people also experience transient retrograde amnesia, forgetting some portion of their previous memories. In the case of the 54-year-old woman at the Washington, D.C., hospital, the last day was a fog, and she had been forgetful and confused since having sex.’’ Hmmmm, her old man must have been very skillful—at least more skillful than today’s young people who sex boringly and yet impregnate instantly. Young people, and a great deal of them I must say, are only favored by raging hormones and gutsy erections. But in marriage, they might not prove to be excellent at doing the same person over and over for fifty years or more. And that’s why I am taking them to school. You see, I haven’t started teaching you how to have sex yet. I am just teaching you what happens during intercourse. By the time you finish this book, if the way you see sex has not changed then you need nothing more than spanking (huh,jus kiddin). But if this book sounds too rough and candid for you, don’t read it. If you continue reading, then am surely not to blame.

Stage 4

Most people have such sex that they don’t pass by stage one, they only start at stage three and before you know it, the person is ejaculating and being pleasured alone. Underline the word ‘‘alone.’’ This person is alone as though this is some type of masturbation. Eish, what a let down!

But here at stage 4,the story should be different. If the lovers have reached climax, then at this time, the war is over, both countries have called a truce. There is retreat and surrender. The penis starts deflating or becoming smaller thus returning to its normal flaccid condition. In women the clitoris relaxes and takes it easy. Both men and women experience muscle relaxation, the opposite of muscle tension.

In the past we have had oestrogen, testosterone, adrenalin, cortisol, oxytocin and dopamine, but are the hormones done yet?—No, no yet. Another hormone called Vasopressin (also known as the anti-diuretic hormone) is released. Vasopressin may be the reason why you often feel thirsty after sex. After all, couples sweat and lose a lot of water when having actively involving sex. But it also stimulates bonding between the two. During intercourse the nervous system in the Female is a bit numb so that much of what she feels will be pleasure and not pain. And it doesn’t mean she won’t feel any pain from scratches if the penis has got hair that causes vaginal tears, it only means any pain inflicted feels less catastrophic than it actually should. As much as the body begins to relax after sex, the brain releases its hypothalamus section to function freely. When the hypothalamus was not free to function you couldn’t feel tired, thirsty and hungry. God knew that this feeling would disturb the reproductive and pleasure process. Ladies and gentlemen, sex is a wonderful phenomenon such that even nuns and fathers have often found themselves too infatuated by it enough to forget their Catholic vows of celibacy.

(c)Physical differences at a glance (Penis)

I am not as good at drawing as were the late Vincent Van Gogh,Publo Picasso and Leonardo Da Vinci. But I honestly feel you need to learn from a drawing how a real vagina and penis look like just in case you have been ‘‘saintly’’ enough to avoid seeing a vagina or penis for too long. I used to draw portraits for a living and though it’s been a while, I don’t think preaching the gospel has made me forget how to draw a real penis. I have used a HB, 2B, 3B pencil. For those of you who are artists, this should inspire you if not horrify you.

You see, if you want to teach anyone how to drive a car, you first have to show them the basic parts of a car. You start by saying, ‘‘that’s the steering wheel, gear, brake pedal and clutch.’’ And it always sounds foolish, to learn the basics. Students have the tendency of laughing at basics and yet when they get into the car to drive, they can’t even locate the brakes—the very thing you taught them while they were busy laughing. There is never a moment when I feel like slapping a student such as this. But there are people today who can’t even label their own private parts. These are the same people who made noise and wouldn’t pay attention during elementary schooling, making airplanes out of papers while we learned keenly. This kind of people, do not know their own anatomy and worse still, they obviously can’t label the opposite gender’s anatomy.

How do you give your spouse some good lovemaking when you can’t even locate the clitoris? Okay, I am teaching you how to ride and the first thing about it is you have to understand yourself and your partner. On the previous page, there is a picture of a penis. There is the shaft, foreskin and blah blah. Some people feel that their shaft is too small and they want it bigger. Well, read on, perhaps you will learn later as to what to do with a smaller shaft. Foreskin is next. Some people don’t have their foreskin anymore. The advantages are, it’s cleaner to circumcise and people without foreskin are less vulnerable to infections. Circumcised or not, you can still have great sex. I hope you are seeing the glands though they are covered. Then there’s that lower part— very sensitive indeed. That’s the head quarters or the balls. If you are fighting with anyone male enough to have a bag with two ‘‘eggs’’, and you give him a thorough kick on the balls, the war is over. There will be no need for any further blows. But the problem with handling testicles is that they look simple but they need optimal care. If you take a very hot bath or shower you can affect sperm count and fail to breed that night. Wearing tight under wears is also not good for them. It can be cancerous. They were made to hang. You can tell just by looking, that God almighty designed them to hang. ‘‘Balls’’ need to be cooler than the rest of the body. A man knows he’s got designer balls if they can hang nicely down there. Balls are balls, perfect for any lover of nature. Men have done nose surgery, face surgery but hardly balls surgery and I think its because balls are the one thing that most humans have no alacrity to criticize God on. Now, that’s one hell of a design. The penis is simply the main switch. Pleasuring a guy’s penis opens his heart. He becomes more loving and caring.

You don’t have to warn any guy to avoid pressing them balls hard. God knows that balls are needed for reproductions and that there are important replication documents in them. So he made them to feel very painful when disturbed, so that, whoever offends them will be sorry. God is smart guys. Instead of him saying don’t press your balls hard every time, he knows that human-beings won’t listen and will keep on doing that anyway. So he just makes them very painful so that those who disobey will be sorry.

(d)Physical differences at a glance (vagina)

Guys, below is a portrait of the vagina. Ladies, don’t take this lightly. Take notice of the vaginal masterpiece and the labeling. Some women have actually failed to label this properly at elementary school. We have got the clitoris down there, There is also the labia monora, and majora.That should probably mean minor and major. Never mind the scientific jargon. I think this is what they call ‘‘ditlopi’’,in my country. There is the vestitube and the vagina, probably the most famous here. Then there is the urethra. The vagina is just a canal with flesh that is similar in structure to the texture of the walls of the mouth, and that should be why some people fancy blow-jobs. My wife is a nurse and she did anatomy in bit of detail. She says that lining inside the mouth and the vagina is called ‘‘micosa.’’ Some people pull the lips of the vagina to make them longer claiming it produces more pleasure for men, some cut out the clitoris. Because of such actions we have got women today, especially in Africa and India, who can’t even reach climax because their parts were mutilated. In Kenya sex workers are reported to be not able to enjoy sex because of mutilation during childhood. This mutilation of Kenyan women I hear is giving Ugandan sex workers leverage in sex market coz men prefer them. But the whole mutilation thing is pretty much based on traditional practices featuring a bit of ignorance. God wasn’t kidding when he made these things the way they are. So when some grandmother, who doesn’t know how to spell biology, starts instructing you to do things that your government hasn’t put on the school syllabus, be careful. You might live to regret it all your life. During Timothy’s time I guess there were women who taught sexual myths and health tips around exercising ... I have no idea what they taught, but Paul said to timothy, ‘‘reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness’’,(1 Timothy 4:7).You see, old wives have the tendency of teaching things more in the way they see them than the way they are. Her husband liked longer vaginal lips, now she pulling the lips of her children’s vagina in a bid to make the pussy pleasurable. Who says long is pleasurable? How does she know whether that child’s prospective partner will like that? Maybe he will want moderate lips so he can see the rest of the vagina. They are basing their practices on previous fantasies and fables, which they think are applicable to everyone —uniformed practices that can harm nature. So Paul says to Timothy, ‘‘ reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness’’, (1 Timothy 4:7). Be careful what you pick from these old wives! Why don’t we leave things just the way God made them? What’s all this pulling around of vaginal lips? There is something wrong with this idea of fiddling with nature, trying to make breasts bigger and penises longer. Some girls put stuff into the vagina hoping it will make the vagina juicier or tighter. They put dangerous stuff in there. In my website am availing a scientific spray for vagina tightening. Not these home made concoctions. Why should women try to tighten their vaginas using strange powders and medicines that are not even medical? Don’t we have gynecologists? Check my website at www.ansonpublishing.com and then go to sex shop. You should find a vagina tightener made by professionals!

(e) A closer look at Physical differences (Penis)

The reason why you need to take a closer look at the penis is that it takes more than basic knowledge to make your guy and yourself reach climax. How do you use a spoon when you don’t know it well in terms of structure and utility? Is there a utensil that you can ever use properly without knowing its anatomy and function?:—I guess not. Brothers and sisters pay careful attention to the organ picture below. There is that tip of the penis, which is very sensitive, I think is called the ‘‘corona’’ Sounds like ‘‘corolla’’, right? Yeah, that’s where the joyride comes from. Then there is that sponge like tissue, which is labeled penis. Blood flows into those tissues and they become erect. So ladies, you need to do a little bit of work to turn on your big kahuna. But don’t worry, that rubber like thing will be firm in no time if your bull is a true one. If he’s got erection problems...that’s a different story altogether. We will talk about it sometime later. Now, take a look at the scrotum and epididymis . There is that vas deferens ‘‘tube like ’’ thing. I think sperms travel in that tube. Look at the distance, now that’s some ‘‘kilometers’’ right there... So when this guy says ‘‘I am coming’’, you know exactly where he is coming from. He’s got seedlings from the nursery and he is going all the way to the main garden to plant them. By the time he’s by the penis tip with those seeds he will be screaming names and telling you all kinds of things. But take another look, there’ are those seminal vesicles. That’s where the semen comes from right? Then, what takes him so long to come when the nursery is so near? Oh, messages have to be sent to the brain that the sex is brilliant, then the brain will instruct the release of semen, right?

But when the delivery man is too slow to receive and deliver the messages, eish, it takes long to come, and that’s where the woman gets tired of waiting for his arrival. Guys don’t take too long. It makes the whole thing boring. It makes sex to be a project instead of an escapade. Yes there’s the bladder and if he starts sexing with the bladder full of urine he is going to have a problem coming early. Anyway that’s for later. Okay take a look at the tip of the penis. Look at how it’s shaped. Why is it shaped that way? Okay it’s not yet time for this coz it’s for later but let me give you a clue:The penis has a shape, which makes it easy to touch the top part of the vagina. It’s designed such that as the man goes in and out he touches a spot which provokes the female climax. Most men don’t know this, and they come and make their spouses to come by happenstance. There’s nothing more unfortunate in the bedroom than people who just come by coincidence. Later on I am going to show you how to come and how to make your partner come, but wait, I have to teach you the first step. That’s going to be one step at a time,“Precept upon precept, precept upon precept, Line upon line, line upon line, Here a little, there a little,” (Isaiah 28:13).These things are not to be rushed.

(f)A closer look at Physical differences (Vagina)

A closer look at the vagina also reveals something interesting. You better pay serious attention coz you won’t learn this in church. In fact, should they hear you, they would cast the demon out of you for saying ‘‘vagina.’’ You would have to say something like ‘‘womanhood’’ and say it discreetly so that you are not heard by holy people. And the irony of it is that often the very people who don’t want to hear the word vagina are the ones sexing people behind the scenes and committing all kinds of sordid acts. Yah, you didn’t know it?:—think again.