Sex & Intimacy 101

The other day I went into a bookstore, here was this beautiful woman starring at a picture of a man with a proper male shape. He looked well built. I am brave you know. So I went to the woman and asked her ‘‘do you like what you see?’’ I didn’t even know her, am that social. I can speak to total strangers with ease. Then I further asked if she would love her man to look like that man and the answer was ‘‘yes’’. She told me that a man with a proper body is an added advantage. That very evening, as I was watching the Steve Harvey show, there was this girl on the show who had been looking for a boyfriend in the gym. She says she just loves good bodies but men with well-toned bodies normally play her and aren’t willing to do some serious family thing. Men I hope you are listening. Do your thing, hit the gym. In Christendom, we have this problem, wherein young men hurry to look as old as the pastor. They strictly wear formal clothes. No wonder other young people resent Christianity. This book seeks to save young people from being old too soon. Dress like a youth. What is a young person like you doing wearing grey jackets and brown ties? Where is that t-shirt that makes young ladies wish you were theirs? Please get it. It’s your time to shine and be handsome and noticed. Girls, don’t throw that makeup in exchange for a King James Bible coz you need both. You are soon to be a bride, and the bible says when God spoke to Jeremiah, He rhetorically asked, ‘‘does a maiden forget her jewellery, a bride her wedding ornaments? Yet my people have forgotten me.’’ (Jeremiah 2:32). ‘‘Does a maiden forget her wedding ornaments?’’ So why have you forgotten to look like a million bucks sister? Where are your ornaments darling?

Talk about flexibility. It’s not going to come by prayer. Do some squads and a bit of belly exercises. Do some cardio exercises, at least 30 minutes a day. Sex is sometimes about sweating and that’s why lazy Sam can hardly do one good round. Research has proven that people who exercise enjoy sex a lot better than those who don’t and are more sexually aroused. Why? They have better blood-flow. Remember that men need blood-flow to have an erect penis, and women too need blood flow to the clitoris to experience increased sensitivity.

At least start jogging around the neighborhood every now and then. I have got another book coming soon, known as nutrition 101(maybe it will be out by the time you get a hold of sex and intimacy 101), it will guide you on exercises and dieting. But for now, jog...But still under product appeal, I think for you to sex well you have to eat well. But that’s for later...we will talk...neh.

For now let’s talk hygiene. Just how do you passionately kiss a man whose breath smells like unkept buttocks or a dead rat? How do you have proper sex when his armpits smell enough to rival a skunk? What about giving a blow-job to someone who has water phobia enough to rival that of the late Steve Jobs?When it comes to sex, men get angry and egocentric and sometimes this makes it hard for ladies to be honest about what they just love to hate when it comes to dirty bodies. And prostitutes will stand whatever comes coz they are charging per round and the customer is always right. Besides prostitutes are faking everything. They are screaming for the sake of it and watching time closely because time is money. There is no oxytocin when it comes to prostitution. Actually, if wives were better in many ways prostitution would be grieving about business going down. I still think that prostitutes wear panties better than those many wives who just don’t mind panties that come near boxer shorts in terms of appeal. Prostitutes join gyms when wives assume stress will help them lose weight. Prostitutes open thighs when you have been refusing to have sex with him the whole week. Prostitutes smile when you let hours go by just sulking swallowed in your self-importance and playing hard to get. It’s wives who are marketing prostitutes, but that aside, some men are just plainly greedy no matter how wonderful a wife can be. They are to blame for this wicked industry that has spread the virus like an atomic bomb. They think they are bulls whose appetite cannot be handled by having one woman. They don’t know that God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Eves. They believe all sorts of fables to condone their animal like behavior. They are finished. People like that are just death walking on two legs. It’s only a matter of time before we sing sad hymns and bury them. There’s no way one can be dipping their penis into every vagina and dream of living a long life. Not in this sick world!

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