Dancing To Happiness

A note draws my attention:

Watching you dance will always move me. You can make me enjoy the feeling of freedom, your every movement is poetry for me. Matthias

Reading it I panic for a moment. I open the box that accompanied the note to see what it contains and with amazement I find an iPod.

I look at Matthias and he tells me with a smile: <>

<> I say to him smiling shyly.

Amazing! He is a good observer. I think no one has ever paid attention to what I wear and what I use to listen to music when I go running.

I get distracted by the doorbell, someone is ringing the bell and I wonder who it is. Here’s my curiosity is rewarded: there are some unwelcome guests, the two thugs with whom Matthias was quarrelling long ago at the front door.

Matthias stiffens in their presence. He invites them to go out accompanying them to the door and he goes away with them, leaving the party without saying goodbye.

I am very worried about him, I have thoughts more and more confused. I wonder what he conceals and what those nasty people want from him.

I don’t want to make my concern leak and I try to laugh and to get involved by the happiness of the others even if I’d just like to be alone with my thoughts.

The party is coming to an end and there’s neither form nor shadow of Matthias. I continue looking at the door of the living room hoping to see him back and to make sure he is okay. I’m worried, I’d like to ask my mother, maybe she knows something about Matthias’ past. After I change my mind: no, it’s not fair! I want him to tell me everything.

Little by little everyone leaves, including Max who I hope didn’t notice my “not being there” I must do something to stay up as much as possible to wait for Matthias’ return, I need to make sure he is okay.

<> my mother asks me, distracting me from the confusion that I have in my mind.

<>

<>

<> I say, hugging her tight.

<> she asks worried.

<>

<> she says, accepting my fleeting answer.

<> although I want to be alone and immerse myself in my thoughts, I believe that helping my mother can help me to distract myself and to pass the time. Who knows, maybe in the meantime Matthias could come back and I want to understand what his mood is. He may need to let off steam. Matthias, where on earth are you?

We clear the table, vacuum the floor, wash and dry the dishes, and tidy the kitchen up. An infinite amount of time passed and still no news of Matthias.

I stay with my mother to chat a little and make her see the gifts I received and then we head for our bedrooms.

I take a shower and get ready for the night. I lie on the bed and can not sleep. I continue thinking about Matthias, where he may be now and who the hell can be those disgusting beings. I wonder why he never speaks about his family; he is a so closed person... He has a more and more unstable mood, from smiling he clouds in no time at all. It does not take a rocket science to understand that those two unsavoury men are primitive; they have ignoble attitudes and certainly they ignore the existence of etiquette. They look like they’ve come out of some mafia movie. The only thought of them makes me shiver!

Sleep isn’t on the cards. I reread Matthias’ note and connect the iPod that he gave me to the laptop to load the music.

I hear footsteps! Matthias! I get out of bed and rush to the door, opening it wide.

<> I say, scrutinizing him to understand what mood he can be and above all to ensure he is still in one piece.

<> he says worriedly.

<>

<>

I don’t give him the time to finish speaking and I ask him: <>

<>

I realize that he does everything to avoid telling me what happened to him. Suddenly he changes his mood and I notice that he looks at me from head to foot and tells me sniggering: <>

I look at myself and I realise that I wear a poor white satin underskirt that covers very little. I blush and try to turn tail as soon as possible.

<> I succeed in telling him in total embarrassment.

<> he says, winking mischievously.

Practically I run to my room, embarrassed to death. I forgot what I was wearing. I will go out of this bedroom no more. I’m having a lot of complexes. Oh my God! He could think that I did it on purpose to show me like that!

What should I do to help Matthias? I don’t understand why he insists on not wanting to vent with me. Maybe he believes that I’m not live up to it. He promised me that as soon as he wanted to talk to someone about it I would be the first one to whom he would do it. Maybe I just have to have a little patience. Matthias, why are you so taciturn?

“Sweet Isabel” Matthias thinks to himself, still amused by the expression and the embarrassment he has aroused in her and for a moment he thought no longer about his problems

“I have to find a solution as soon as possible. One of these days I’ll tell her everything. I have noticed how much she cares about me. It’s 3 a.m and certainly she stayed up to wait for me. Oh Isabel... If only everything was less complicated!”

VII

I did well to go jogging, in this way I relieved myself of some tension.

The sun emanates an unbearable heat. It’s autumn but today it seems to be the middle of summer. Where are the seasons? I can hardly wait for getting home to take this sweaty tracksuit off, freshen up and to wear something lighter.

Two silhouettes in front of the gate of the house draw my attention. What the heck are they doing here? There are the two well-known “gentlemen” with no good manners in front of the main door, they’re certainly waiting for Matthias.

<> they ask me sarcastically. What the hell do they want from me these morons?

<> I answer in an annoyed tone.

Their presence bothers me and makes my good spirits disappear.

<> they exclaim making a mockery of me with a smile that I’d like to take away maybe arming myself with a baseball bat and beating their teeth with it.

I stiffen and begin to get nervous; raising my voice I answer very rudely: <> these two men have the power to bring out the worst part of me... they instigate violence!

<> I pause to breath <> I exclaim screaming hysterically and at the end of my rope.

While I try to open the front door the biggest man gets in front of me to prevent me from entering in the house and threateningly says: <>

In the meantime also the other sleazy man approaches and says menacingly: <>

At the same time Max arrives. He heard everything and intervenes immediately in my defence. <>

<> while they continue saying bullshit, they move away sniggering. They makes me shiver.

Max stares at me furiously and yells: <>

<>

Now he is really angry. He has never been in favour of my friendship with Matthias. He sees him as an obstacle.

<> Max’s anger is increasingly growing and I’m almost more afraid of him than of those two ugly mug.

<> he yells with his face red with anger: <>

I’m getting irritated more and more. What right has Max to insult and criticise someone who he practically doesn’t know? I’m about to explode!

I shout at him: <>

The tones are increasingly raising and the anger is increasingly gaining the upper hand. <>

<> I reply more and more unnerved.

<> Max’s voice is more and more loud and aggressive: <>

I feel confused and I seem to live in a nightmare. I try to control myself and with a calm voice I make him notice: <>

<>

<> I exclaim unwillingly knowing that this assertion hurts me more than Max’s insults and yells.

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