Something Like Happy

Jade considered Nick for a while. Thinking about how she had seen him on the bridge, all pale and tired with his hat jammed down over his ears. Then the transformation she had seen today, wavy brown hair flopped untidily over his forehead as he sang lustily at the top of his voice. And the flash in his bright blue eyes when he had grinned at her.

‘Well,’ she said reluctantly, ‘I guess you could maybe say that. Just a little!’ she amended, as the older woman gave a crow of victory. ‘And that doesn’t mean I’m going to start dating him. I couldn’t cope with dating someone like that. It would just be too much to worry about.’

Lily looked at her with a knowing look. ‘I hear you. But then again, isn’t it worthwhile sometimes taking a chance in life?’ She heaved herself off her seat, gathering her stick up in one small feathery hand. ‘Now, get me to that café. I’m parched for a cuppa.’

The four of them sat at a square table in the café. Archie abandoned his wheelchair in favour of a proper chair. Three of them had soup, and Nick went for a massive cheese and pickle sandwich. The place was busy, with people chattering all around them. A couple of children ran around the room, laughing as they dashed in and out of the tables. The smell of fresh coffee made it seem warm and cosy.

‘I can’t believe how much stuff they have crammed in here.’ Nick waved his arms around to illustrate his point. Even the café had small displays littered around the edge of the room. ‘They have cars stuck up on the walls! And a whole steam train! I don’t know why I’ve never thought to come here before.’

‘That new tram looks very spangly,’ Jade remarked, knowing Archie had been keen to see it.

Archie sighed happily. ‘Ah yes. Brings back a lot of happy memories. Now, I remember the time I jumped off the roof of one, just to avoid the ticket inspector …’ And he was off, waving his arms around as he told them what had happened. Jade didn’t mind. All of his stories were interesting ones, and she loved hearing about how things used to be.

‘So how did you start doing these trips?’ She realised Nick was speaking to her and drew her attention back to him, blushing slightly as she remembered her earlier conversation with Lily.

‘You mean how, or why?’ Jade wasn’t sure exactly what he meant.

Nick had just taken a bite of his sandwich and took a moment to swallow before answering. ‘I mean, what got you into it. How did you think about doing this stuff? You know, giving up your free time just to take other people out.’

From the pause in his voice she knew he had almost been going to say old people. She winked at him, just to make him aware that she had caught his almost-mistake, and the back of his neck tinged slightly with pink. Intelligent, though, with Lily and Archie sitting right there. Her eyes twinkled, thinking of how the conversation would have gone if Nick had said the word old. Maybe not though. Lily and Archie were chatting away on the other side of the table, completely engrossed in a discussion about different models of trams.

‘My gran died a couple of years ago. I miss her a lot.’

Nick’s eyebrows rose. This obviously wasn’t what he had been expecting her to say, but Jade carried on. ‘I used to mope around the house. It was my mum who got me into this.’

She indicated one of the younger grey-haired helpers, sitting a couple of tables away. ‘Connie over there is friends with her. So I started coming down to the home to help out, just to get out of the house. And then I met Lily.’

Lily looked over at the sound of her name. ‘What was that, dearie?’

She put emphasis on the dearie, and Jade laughed, knowing it was on purpose. ‘I was just telling Nick how much of a burden you are and how I hate taking you out.’

Lily reached over and gave Jade’s hand a quick squeeze. ‘Gripe away, dearie. I’m used to it. Especially living in the same place as this old codger.’

Archie drew in a breath, pretending to be offended.

‘Sorry.’ Lily’s eyes twinkled. ‘I should have said, living in the same place as this fine gentleman.’

‘It doesn’t make your complaint any better, you know, wrapping it up in such fine words,’ Archie grumbled.

Nick lust looked at them all, and then burst out laughing. Creaky laughs, as if they were a little rusty with lack of use, but laughter all the same. And Jade just had to follow suit. She was so happy to be here, and Nick being around just made things better. She suspected he and Archie might be good for each other. If only she could persuade Nick to come back again. If she knew he had someone else keeping an eye on him, then she could leave him alone, happy in the knowledge that he had some kind of support network to keep him going.

They finished their lunch and Jade caught the attention of some of the other helpers, whose nods of agreement showed that they were also ready to go. By the time they were gathered back at the front of the museum it was past one and Keith was waiting with the minibus. The piled in, Jade sitting next to Nick again.

She touched his arm gently. ‘Enjoyed yourself?’

Nick turned his face towards hers, and she could see he was grinning again. ‘Very much so. Far more than I expected to, actually.’

‘Good.’ Jade decided to just say what was in her head. ‘Because I was hoping you’d come back when we go again in two weeks.’ Nick was silent, and Jade wondered if she’d misjudged him. ‘Of course, if you’d rather not, then—’

‘No!’ Nick interrupted her. ‘It’s just – well – won’t that other guy be back next week? I wouldn’t want to trample on his patch.’

Jade laughed. ‘Oh, we always need people. There’s always someone who can’t make it each week. And we can only take as many people out as we have helpers. So you’d be very welcome.’

Nick ducked his head, obviously embarrassed and happy at being wanted. And Jade suddenly wondered exactly what he had gone through, to drive him to stand on that bridge and have those kinds of thoughts. Maybe she would get to the bottom of things. And if not, then at least she could try to provide him with some sort of community to love and support him while he was here.

‘I’ll walk you to the station,’ Jade said, when everyone was safely back and they had said their goodbyes.

Nick looked like he was about to protest, but then he seemed to change his mind. ‘That would be great. And you really should give me your number too.’

‘OK, OK.’ Jade pretended to reluctantly give in, smiling at him again. She recited the number, while he typed it into his phone.

‘I promise I won’t stalk you.’ The grin was back. Jade couldn’t help smiling again in response.

They walked companionably side by side, not really talking much, through the streets that by now were bustling with people, out for Saturday shopping. Jade stopped at the entrance to the station.

‘So, what’s the plan for next weekend?’ Nick wanted to know. ‘You know. The next thing on the list.’

Jade had been lost in thought, wondering about Nick and what his story was. ‘Oh. Yeah.’ She thought for a minute. If he wouldn’t laugh at her, she could take him …

Screw it, she thought. Nothing to lose. ‘Kelvin Hall. Quarter to eleven. Wear something comfortable. Sweatpants or something.’

‘Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?’ Nick looked sideways at her.

‘Nope. That’s part of the fun.’ Jade winked at him.

‘Oh.’ Nick seemed to suddenly remember something. ‘Today was all about the second thing on the list. But you never actually told me what it was.’

Jade smiled. ‘Do a kindness for someone else. Feels good, doesn’t it?’

Nick didn’t reply for a second, then he unexpectedly leaned over suddenly and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Before she could say anything, he gave her a little wave and disappeared up the stairs. Jade put a hand to her cheek and stared after him for a minute, unsure of the meaning of what had just happened. Then she turned and walked slowly home.

‘You look very thoughtful,’ her mother remarked later that evening while they were both sitting in the living room after dinner. ‘Something on your mind?’

‘Just this guy I met. I took him to see Lily today.’

‘Ah.’ Her mother, never one for excessive speech, could convey a thousand messages with one word. ‘So what is he like, this man?’

Jade considered, the images of Nick flitting through her mind. ‘Nice. He seems nice.’ She snuggled up on the sofa in her blanket, content just to spend some time alone with her mother tonight. ‘Let’s watch some of your favourite programme, Mum.’

Her mother’s raised eyebrows indicated surprise, but she didn’t say anything, just reached for the remote. And as the familiar theme music started, Jade felt a strange feeling of contentment, which was something she hadn’t felt for a long time.

Chapter 3

Nick lay on his bed that evening thinking about things. He was starting to wonder about the wisdom of taking a bedsit in the centre of town. He had originally done it because then he wouldn’t have to spend any time commuting, especially because they occasionally shifted a working day to match the hours in the US and he would get home really late. But he missed green fields and trees. The constant hum of the traffic was getting him down. Maybe if he took a flat somewhere out of the city like Lenzie or Milngavie? The commute wasn’t huge, just half an hour each way. And he could spend the time usefully doing something. Reading. Or watching something on his phone. Or something like that.

But then, the real problem was his job. Well, it wasn’t really the job. In fact, he liked it more than he had expected to like an office job. He loved the feeling of solving problems and being master of the web. Of fighting the dark forces of evil with only a few lines of computer code. But the real problem was his colleagues, but mainly his boss. Well, actually, all of them. It was all rolled into a massive knotty problem that he had no idea how to solve.

He supposed he should just try to find another outdoor job, but it was hard. He’d been watching websites for months, and the job he’d interviewed for a couple of weeks back – organising outdoor activities for kids – had been the only one he’d seen for ages that was even remotely close to what he wanted to do, even though the owner of the company hadn’t seemed much better than the boss he had now. And having them offer him the job, and then a few days later call them to say they’d changed their minds? That had been a major blow.

If they don’t want you, you don’t want them. He recited the mantra that his dad had taught him to help him stand up to the bullies at school. The trouble was, it wasn’t always true. A job working outdoors with a tosser for a boss was better than the job he had now, where he was stuck in an office and still had a tosser for a boss. And so his thoughts continued circling, his chest growing tight as he felt more and more trapped in his head.

If he stayed in the same type of work that he was doing now then he would probably have to go down to London to find another job, and the thought of that scared him even more than carrying on in his current job. Besides, he didn’t like the thought of running away. Even though the blokes in his office all seemed the same, odds were that some of them were as frustrated as he was. If he could only find a way to sort things out …

‘New Year, new start.’ Nick jumped as one of his colleagues threw a backpack onto a nearby desk. Nick normally had the office to himself until at least nine. He liked to come in early, before eight if possible. It gave him at least an hour before the office banter started up and he got distracted by people asking him for things. But it seemed that someone had decided to start the new year with a new resolution.

‘Yeah.’ Nick tried to be enthusiastic, but to be honest he was missing the mountains. And being back home. And there wasn’t even any snow in Glasgow to make things look pretty. ‘How was your holiday?’

‘Oh, you know, the usual. Too much food, too much drink. Family rows. Glad to be back really. How was yours?’

Nick thought of the ten days he had spent at home. The wild waves whipped up in the sea lochs. The perfect sheen of the snow on the hills. The deer spread out on the mountain sides like chocolate sprinkles on a white iced cake.

He suddenly realised the other man was waiting for a reply. ‘Oh. Great. It was great.’

Too great, he thought, as he returned his eyes to the screen and back to what he was working on. He had come up with some really good ideas over the holiday for a particularly knotty problem the whole office had been trying to solve. Maybe if he spoke to his boss about it then it might make him more likely to get a good bonus come April. Then he could buy that new amazing winter jacket he had been wanting for ages. If he was really lucky it would be in the summer sales … Then he sobered. Maybe he could just send his parents on holiday. They hadn’t been abroad for years.

It wasn’t long before the office filled up, loud and noisy with people exchanging their holiday stories. Nick wondered some days how ten people managed to make so much noise. Still, they weren’t bad people. They had bought him cake on his birthday. And taken him out for dinner and drinks when he first started. It was just that he struggled to fit in to their casual talk about cars, and golf, and women. And he felt like everyone knew it.

It was no use trying to concentrate on work until everyone had settled down. Time for a cup of tea. He rounded the corner into the breakout area, only to find three of the guys in there, clustered around the noticeboard. One of them took something and pinned it up with satisfaction. ‘There we go. How about that.’ They stood back to admire the view.

Nick looked at the notice board and frowned. Up at the top was a calendar. But not just any calendar. It was some kind of trade calendar, from God knew what kind of company, because January’s picture showed a scantily clad woman bent in a supposedly enticing position over a car bonnet.

Nick sucked in a breath. His mother would have been horrified, and not just because she was a devoted Catholic. He found himself speaking before he thought about the consequences. ‘You can’t put that up there, for goodness sake.’

Andy, the one who had pinned it up, turned towards him. ‘Oh yeah? Why not?’

Nick just shook his head in bewilderment. ‘How can you even ask that? That’s totally inappropriate for an office environment. What kind of image do you think it gives our company? How do you think women will feel when they look at it?’

Andy folded his arms. ‘Tell me, when do we ever get any visitors to this office? And there aren’t even any women here.’

‘What about Sadie?’ Nick couldn’t believe his ears.

‘Her? She’s just part-time admin. She doesn’t count.’ Andy clearly didn’t even see her as a member of staff. Which made Nick angry. Before he knew what he was doing, he had grabbed the calendar off the wall and torn all the pages in half.

He dumped them in the bin, trembling, part with rage and part with fear. ‘There you go. That’s the only good thing that your calendar is good for.’

Andy grabbed Nick and raised his fist under his nose. ‘That was my calendar, you little shit!’

‘Gents! Please!’ Their boss had pushed himself through the group of people watching at the doorway. ‘What is going on here?’

‘He put up a calendar with naked women on it.’ Nick was still angrily defiant.

‘And he ripped it in half and threw it in the bin.’ Andy crossed his arms again.

The big boss sighed. ‘Andy. Nick is right, unfortunately. A naked calendar is not appropriate for the office.’

Nick didn’t like the word unfortunately, but since he was being backed up then he supposed he couldn’t complain.

But the man wasn’t finished yet. ‘But you, Nick. Ripping up other people’s property is not an appropriate way to resolve a conflict.’ He gave a theatrical sigh. ‘Since you’re so junior, I’ll overlook it this time.’

The man turned on his heel. ‘Everyone, back to work! Work doesn’t do by itself, you know.’

Andy gave Nick a dirty look and walked off back to his desk. Nick took a deep breath. He almost wished he hadn’t said anything in the first place, but as he passed Sadie’s desk, he looked at her and saw her mouthing ‘thank you’ at him. His heart lifted. Maybe he had done the right thing?

It was a week later when Nick finally felt ready to go to his boss with his ideas. This was a real gamechanger. It could make them a lot of money. He’d prepared a presentation to show to him, with details of the potential market and everything. He’d grab him right after their weekly team meeting and ask for some of his time. He could barely contain his excitement when he got in that morning.

‘Right, everybody,’ the boss said as they sat down in the conference room, around the white-topped table. ‘We’ll go through the regular business soon, but meanwhile Andy has some exciting new ideas to share with us.’

Andy stood up to the usual claps and hoots of approval, and Nick sat back, curious to know what was coming next. But as the slides displayed on the screen, he felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was his presentation. OK, changed a little bit, but his charts were there. And his ideas. All of his precious ideas.

Nick barely registered the rest of the meeting, so caught up was his mind on how Andy had stolen his work. How had the man done it? And then he suddenly remembered. He had stored all his work on his personal folder on the shared drive. And none of it was password protected. Anyone could have looked at his stuff.

As the others were filing out, he grabbed Andy by the arm. ‘I can’t believe you did that.’

‘Did what?’ Andy looked at him innocently.

They were the only two left in the meeting room. Nick kept his voice low. ‘That was my presentation. With my ideas.’

Andy looked him and folded his arms. ‘Prove it.’

Nick looked at him. ‘I have a copy of it in my folder on the shared drive! You stole it from there!’

Andy shrugged. ‘Like I said.’

Nick made his way back to his desk, his hands shaking. He clicked into his personal folder. And then blinked. The entire folder where he had stored the presentation, and all the research that had gone into it, was gone. Just deleted. He clicked around for a couple of minutes, thinking maybe he’d been mistaken, that he had maybe stored it somewhere else, but when he looked up and caught sight of Andy smirking at him from the other side of the office then he knew. This was revenge for the calendar.

Nick got up and marched straight into his boss’s office. ‘Excuse me. Can I have a word?’

The man leaned back in his chair with a friendly smile. ‘Sure. What can I do for you?’

Nick closed the door, then sat down in the chair across the desk. ‘It’s hard to say this, really. But I need to tell you that those ideas, the ones that Andy showed us this morning, they were mine. I came up with them. He took them off me without me knowing.’

His boss was silent for what seemed like a long while, and then he finally spoke. ‘Nick. I know you’re very new to the team. And all this may seem very new to you, being fresh out of university. But I have to say that we’re a team. We work together. There’s no point putting someone down just to make yourself look better.’ He leaned his arms on the desk, looking very stern. ‘And I have to tell you that accusing someone of stealing your ideas is a very serious accusation.’

He waited a while longer, while Nick shifted in his chair, feeling the blood rise to his face. If even his boss didn’t believe him, what was he going to do?

Then the older man sighed suddenly and leaned back in his chair. ‘Look, Nick. Whatever issues you and Andy have, you need to sort them out. He’s a longstanding valued member of this team. The clients trust him. I trust him. And if you can’t make this work between you, then maybe you should think about finding another job.’

He held up a hand as Nick started to speak. ‘I’m not saying that in a bad way, Nick. I really like your work so far, and I think you have a long and promising career ahead of you. It’s just that if you want to get on in this world, you need to learn how to fit in. And become a team player.’ He smiled at Nick brightly. ‘Now. Is there anything else?’

Nick shook his head, feeling his shoulders slump. ‘No. I understand.’

Nick’s stomach growled, bringing him back to the present. It was after the presentation fiasco that things had really turned toxic in the office. The subtle bullying. The not-so-subtle comments. It had got to the point where he felt physically sick every time he walked through the office door. That’s why he had started applying for new jobs. And had been so elated when he thought he was finally getting away, only to have his dreams dumped in the bin.

He checked his watch. Way past dinner time. At least he felt hungry. That was an improvement, although he still didn’t feel like cooking. He jumped up, almost banging his head on the cupboard in his haste. Screw the cooking. He would go and get sushi from that new Japanese place that had just opened around the corner. A reward for completing task two of the happy list. He couldn’t wait to find out what was number three.

After dinner he went to sleep and dreamed that Jade smashed her way into his office and punched both Andy and his boss in the face, while Archie ran amok in his wheelchair singing army songs at the top of his voice and running over everyone’s toes.

When Nick woke the next day, he realised it was the first time he had slept well in as long as he could remember. He could walk up to the Necropolis again, he thought. Start the happy list over again. And then he would call his mum, he hadn’t spoken to her for ages.

Jade eased herself slowly down into the weird half-standing position that the teacher called ‘chair pose’. It was a few weeks since she had bothered to come to the yoga class, and she could already feel her thighs complaining at the unaccustomed treatment. She mentally promised them a hot bath when she got home and sneaked a quick look backwards to where Nick was. He caught her looking and gave her a wink. Jade smiled inwardly, glad to know that he wasn’t taking it too seriously. She couldn’t believe how cool and collected he looked, while her legs were complaining about her five-week break. She sneaked a look at him again, making sure he didn’t catch her. Yes, she had to admit that those navy-blue shorts showed off his assets pretty well.

Still, this class was probably the best one she had found so far. A mix of yoga and meditation for beginners, with a teacher who was both incredibly practical and didn’t do any of the mystical crap. He was about the furthest thing from a hippie guru that she had ever seen. Short-haired and clad in lycra shorts that she had admired from behind on numerous occasions, he bounced about in front of the class with enthusiasm, and freely admitted his own difficulties in clearing his mind during the meditation exercises. Yes, thought Jade as she twisted herself into another position, hand reaching towards the ceiling, this was about as close to exercise as she was ever going to get. She really should come more often though. She hated to admit it, but she did feel better when she was coming regularly.