Passport to Happiness

‘Oh, of course,’ I say lightly, trying not to sound sarcastic. ‘Yes, makes absolute sense to fork out thousands on a boat rather than let the space – which I’m guessing isn’t worth as much – go to waste.’

She laughs and shakes her head at me. ‘Don’t be so boring. You do realise this means we’ll be out boating practically every weekend. And there’s Non-Mariners coming up.’

I have absolutely no idea what’s she’s on about and she seems to gather this as she pats my leg and says, ‘Hundreds of boats together in a party, drink fuelled raft up. It’s fucking awesome. It’s all to do with a boat race but we’ll just anchor up and get on the champs. You’ll probably have to drive us home though as I’ll be undoubtedly smashed.’

I feel my pulse quicken in excitement. The last time I was on any sort of boat was a chartered speedboat, which we shared with random other couples. That’s when I realise she means drive the boat home, not just the car.

‘Sounds fantastic, but I’m not sure I know how to drive a boat though. I haven’t got a licence!’ My slightly high-pitched, giggly tone betrays my nerves and as Tilly looks at me with a huff and roll of her eyes, I know it’s going to happen regardless of whether I want it to or not. Still, there’s worse things in life that could be happening than being forced to drive a boat. Like waking up at this exact moment in my poky flat in the UK, to start yet another dull day at work.

‘This is us.’ Tilly’s voice breaks into my thoughts and I lean forward, peering out of the windscreen at the baby pink building with a snow-white roof which we are pulling up to. The sea sits only metres away from my passenger door.

‘Wow, you live here? Right on the marina?’ I unclip my seat belt as she pulls up the handbrake and turns off the engine.

‘Don’t you listen to anything I say? I’ve told you a hundred times that I live on the marina.’ I watch as she opens her door and hops out. ‘Come on, let’s get inside and I’ll show you around.’

Wasting no time in following orders, I’m out of the car at high speed and before I know it, we’ve managed to drag all three of my bags into her ground floor apartment.

It’s hard not to be impressed as I survey the spacious, open-plan setting before me. Sunlight floods the room thanks to a large double window that showcases the turquoise ocean so beautifully, I have to refrain myself from wanting to take an immediate selfie with it.

‘This is your home? My goodness, I’d never go out if I lived here!’

Tilly laughs, coming up behind me and taking off her sunglasses. ‘Well, that’s not true because now you do live here and we’re always going to be out!’ She walks over to her ultra-white kitchen and fills up the kettle. ‘I’m guessing you’re very tea-hydrated.’ She giggles, reaching across for the teabags. ‘I bought some bits at the supermarket for you, but you’ll probably find it’s easier to eat out quite a bit. It’s rather expensive here for groceries.’

‘Don’t worry, I’m used to budgeting,’ I say, as she takes two cups from the cupboard, places them on the side and then picks up one of my holdalls.

‘Right, follow me, I’ll give you the tour of your new home.’

Picking up my remaining two bags, I follow her into the hallway, her words echoing in my head.

My new home. I can’t help but feel fizzy inside with joy.

Chapter 6

‘This is Abbi, she works with me.’

‘Hi, nice to meet you.’ The tall, willowy woman smiles warmly at me as she passes both myself and Tilly a glass of champagne from the table beside her. ‘We’ve heard lots about you. So nice to have a new face in our crew.’

‘Thanks,’ I say, stifling a yawn and taking a sip of champagne in the hope it’ll wake me up. ‘It’s been a blast so far and it’s only day three. I don’t feel like I’ve stopped yet.’ I grin at Tilly a little wearily. The thing is, we’ve been doing a lot more socialising than I’d anticipated and although it’s been fun, I’m tired.

‘I’ve kept you busy to help you from succumbing to jet lag.’ She giggles, draining her champagne quickly. ‘OK, let’s go over there and I’ll introduce you to Spencer and Jools.’ She points in the direction of a short, stocky guy who’s back is facing me. I can see his golden-blond hair flopping as he talks, gesturing wildly with his hands. Tilly leans in, whispering, ‘Jools, the taller one, is a bit OTT but he’s a good guy really. Just take him with a pinch of salt.’

I take a gulp of champagne, feeling it instantly going to my head, and follow her across the outside patio area of the prestigious hotel grounds that we’re enjoying our evening drink in.

‘Spence, there’s someone I want you to meet.’ Tilly taps the fairer-haired man firmly on the shoulder and I notice that up close he isn’t as short as I’d assumed. I watch as he spins around mid-conversation, wearing a surprised and slightly perplexed expression.

‘Huh?’ He looks from Tilly back to me again and I notice his eyes settle on my mouth. He’s attractive in a rugged way, but not quite handsome because his nose is a little too large for his face.

‘This is Everly, my friend from the UK – she’s just moved here and I’m doing the intros.’

He sticks out his hand and I notice his slender, well-manicured athletic fingers. ‘Hi, welcome to the rock.’ His unique aqua-blue eyes dance slightly. and I realise he’s merry on drink. ‘Bit of a change from Blighty, huh?’

His accent surprises me as I reach out to shake his hand, noticing his grip is rather firm. ‘Yes, very much so. You’re American?’

‘Unless you’re often mistaking New Yorkers for Aussies, then yes I’m from the States.’

‘He might as well be Bermudian though, the amount of years he’s been here,’ Tilly says lightly interjecting and leaning closer to the taller of the men who seems to be quietly observing me. ‘This is Jools by the way.’ She nudges him slightly and there’s something about his squinty, too close together eyes and downturned mouth that makes me wonder if he’s someone to be trusted.

‘You’ve got a good tan for someone who’s only been here for five minutes.’ Barely able to tear his eyes away from looking at my tanned chest, he grins to reveal tiny super white teeth. ‘Bikinis and beaching your thing, huh?’

Ah. One of those men. I notice a line of sweat forming on his upper lip and am about to reply with a sarcastic quip when Spencer waves his arm in my direction, barely missing me with spray from his glass. Clearly tipsy, he doesn’t seem to notice.

‘Leave her alone. You can’t talk bro, what with your British skin – you’re a lobster without your factor 50.’

Tilly laughs as Jools turns a slight shade of red. ‘Now, now boys. No fighting over us girls.’

I chuckle and am suddenly aware that Spencer keeps glancing at me and has angled himself closer. I catch his eye. ‘It’s OK, I’m very much used to it. Many a man has fought till the end in my honour.’

He smirks, and I watch as the corners of his twinkling eyes crinkle. ‘I don’t disbelieve it.’

I don’t know if I’m imagining it but I’m aware of an underlying energy between us. Next to me, Tilly makes a sudden turn to the bar and I glance at the empty glass in her hand. Before she has the chance to walk away, I make the executive decision to call it quits on my night.

‘Sorry everyone, but I think I’m going to have to head back. I’ve got an early start tomorrow. Got to set up a bank account so I can actually get paid.’

Tilly pouts, grabbing my arm. ‘Don’t go yet, one more drink and then I’ll leave with you.’

‘Yes, you should stay, one more won’t hurt,’ Spencer adds, turning to me fully. When he’s facing me, it’s hard not to notice how muscular his frame is. His thick neck meets broad shoulders and the stretched taut material across the upper arms of his shirt allow me to take in his biceps. My eyes flit back to his large nose and only then do I notice what looks like a hint of cauliflower ear.

‘I’m sure it won’t be the last we see of her,’ Jools cuts in and I’m surprised to see there’s a small smile.

I smile in return. ‘Of course not. Once I’ve kicked this jet lag, I’ll be a bit more social.’ Handing my drink to Tilly, I re-adjust my handbag and dig out my house keys. ‘Here, you take this. I’m going to make a move now and I’ll see you at home later.’ She’s looking at me with a sulky expression, but I choose to ignore it and finish saying my goodbyes.

The walk home is barely fifteen minutes and despite being eight-thirty in the evening, it’s still light and although tired, I feel full of the joys of life. It’s hard to believe how much Tilly has crammed into a few days. As I approach the marina, I spot her boat in the distance, bobbing ever so slightly on the water as a bigger cruiser’s wake draws closer.

I hadn’t expected something quite as luxurious as the almost-new eighteen-foot cabin cruiser with cream leather seating, which Tilly claimed to have bought ‘for a steal’. Even more unexpected was the fact that there are no requirements for a licence to drive it. As we’d taken our first spin on the water, Tilly in the driver’s seat and me opposite her, I’d felt like I’d been transported into a Bond movie. I’m not entirely sure she fully understood the maritime code, and I’m certain we were in the wrong channel at times, but with the sun burning into my skin and the spray of water as Tilly recklessly revved the throttle, I still couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. Waving at other boaters we passed seemed to be the norm and once we reached the open water, the reality of Bermuda’s stunning delights hit me full force. The green turquoise sea had stayed calm and transparent around us. The abundance of darker reef – which I had been charged with the task of spotting in order to avoid crashing – were clear to see with the visible eye. Aside from the many fish, I certainly wasn’t expecting the turtles. Spotting two on our short journey as they swam a short distance from the boat, Tilly had laughed at my excitement, telling me to get used to it. It was the moment I realised that coming to Bermuda was the best risk I could have taken. The life here is so very different to that which I’ve left behind; there’s so much more adventure and opportunity available to me. There’s so much of the unknown and unfamiliar still to explore. Every day so far here has given me a new experience and I seriously can’t remember the last time I found life this thrilling or fun.

The heat hits me as I walk into the apartment and I shake off my shoes, immediately reaching for the air-conditioning remote. It might have only been a matter of days but as I open the door to the bedroom which I’m now able to call mine, I feel that sense of contentment that has eluded me for so long. ‘How lucky I am,’ I whisper to myself as I look around the neat, tidy room, thankful that Tilly had the foresight to clear out her clutter, as she called it, and make it homely for me.

I’ve barely settled on the sofa with a cup of tea, when my phone rings and Amy flashes onto my screen.

‘Hi, how’s it going?’ Amy’s high-pitched voice booms into my ear.

‘Wow, someone’s been on the happy pills.’ Giggling, I’m thankful that she can’t see the weird look I give to the phone. ‘It’s great actually. I’m loving it here. Today was another busy one – Tilly showed me Front Street which is the main parade of shops and we did lunch.’

‘Well, it’s alright for some.’ Her tone is sharp, and I wait for the return of the high-pitched excitement, but it doesn’t come. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be doing more important things than clothes shopping and playing at being a lady that lunches.’

‘That was as well as the important stuff I did earlier,’ I respond, a slight edge to my voice. ‘So, tell me what’s going on there.’

‘Oh, you know, the usual. Cleaning up after the kids, the dogs, Jack. Not to mention cooking breakfast, lunch, dinner and being a general skivvy all round.’ There’s no hint of the usual playfulness or irony in her voice – instead it’s a fed-up attitude that I seldom hear from Amy.

‘Are you OK?’ Concerned, I put down my tea and reach for my laptop on the table in front of me. ‘I’m about to load up Skype, do you want to do a face to face so that I can see you properly?’

‘No, don’t bother. I wouldn’t want to keep you from all your important tasks. You’ve probably got late night cocktails and new friends to waste your time on.’ The irritation and sarcasm in her voice is palpable.

‘Amy, what’s up with you? Why are you being so moody?’ I’m aware of the exasperated tone of my voice but I don’t care. There’s no way I’m letting her ruin my evening.

‘Nothing’s wrong, I’m just sick of hearing how perfect your life is. Anyway, I don’t want to argue about it. I’ve spoken to you now, so there’s no need to carry on this conversation.’ She goes silent and I can’t help but feel shocked. I’ve never in my adult years heard Amy be so catty towards me.

Taking a moment to gather myself, I bite my bottom lip in irritation. ‘OK, well clearly you’re in a bizarre mood tonight, so yes let’s speak another time.’

It takes less than ten seconds for her to say her disgruntled goodbyes and I’m left staring at the phone in disbelief. What the hell was that all about?

Hearing the key turn in the lock, I quickly switch on the TV and try to dispel my confusion. In our teenage years, we’d always been at one another’s throats. There’d always been a hint of competition between us and Amy had regularly tried to put a dampener on things when I was happy. But I thought we’d grown beyond that as adults? Sure, in the last few years – since becoming single – I might have relied more upon Amy’s support and opinion. And yes, that has sometimes led to contention due to her to believing that she knows what’s best for me. However, I honestly thought that me being so far away would’ve softened any doubts and antagonism she had about my choice to come here. It appears I was wrong. Hoping that she’s just having an off day, I try to forget the phone call.

Moments later, the door opens and Tilly strides in looking a little worse for wear.

‘Hey, you missed the best hour. A few more of my colleagues joined us and we had a right laugh. Plus, there’s this new – very cute – Australian guy, just arrived a few days ago. Anyway, we exchanged numbers.’

I watch as Tilly kicks off her shoes and disappears into the bedroom, pulling off her dress as she goes. ‘That was fast work,’ I call out. ‘What’s he like then?’

She pads back into the room, face animated. ‘Well, he’s quite tall and buff. He’s got really dark eyes and complexion. He looks like he could be Asian. He said he was from Perth.’ She bites on her bottom lip.

I suddenly think back to my introduction to Spencer earlier. ‘So, Spencer… I wasn’t expecting him to be American.’

She looks at me oddly. ‘Why not? He’s blatantly a Yank.’ I watch as she goes to the kitchen and pours herself some water.

‘I don’t know, I just thought he looked British.’

‘Well, funnily enough, he said the same about you – that you weren’t what he expected.’

She saunters back into the room as I feel my pulse quicken in unexpected excitement. Spencer spoke about me after I left?

‘God, Cullen is such a hottie. I wonder if he’s going to be yet another asshole?’ Tilly looks pensive as she considers it. ‘He came across so down to earth, he was even wearing surf stuff.’

My thoughts still on Spencer, I fail to register her comment until a few seconds later. ‘Hang on, is Cullen the Aussie guy? And surf stuff? What job does he do?’

‘Yes, and yes. He’s a kitchen porter. Passing through on a cruise ship headed for the Caribbean.’

I try not to let my face betray me as I simply say, ‘Oh OK.’ I do wonder about Tilly, she always seems to go for the men that aren’t materially on her level and usually not an intellectual match either. Not that it’s a bad thing but knowing that she’s fiercely ambitious, expects the finer things in life and stimulating conversation, I somehow can’t see a kitchen porter living up to those expectations long-term. But maybe I’m being harsh, he might be all of those things and more. If not, I hope she decides to one day date an equally ambitious man and see how it works out…

I change the subject, thinking of Spencer again. ‘So how long have you known Spencer and Jools?’

She sits down sideways on the chair adjacent to me, crossing her long, tanned legs over the edge. ‘Years, since I got here. Jools and I used to work together before he moved across to Anderson Granger. He introduced me to Spence and well, it’s so small here, I guess we just ended up always hanging out at the same places. He’s a sweetheart.’

Intrigue suddenly gets the better of me. ‘Have you ever had a thing with him?’

Tilly looks at me in shock. ‘With Jools? Gosh, no way. He’d do my absolute head—’

I cut her off, slightly irritated. ‘Obviously I didn’t mean Jools, I know he’s definitely not your type. Spencer, I mean.’

‘Oh Spence.’ She suddenly looks at me curiously. ‘Why? Are you interested in him?’

I feel heat creep into my face. For some reason I’m suddenly embarrassed, as if I’ve been caught doing something I shouldn’t.

‘Oh my gosh, you like him, don’t you!’ She’s smiling broadly at me and shaking her head in disbelief. ‘I just can’t believe that of all the people I’ve introduced you to, he’s the one you’re interested in. Mr cauliflower ear.’ She laughs and throws her head back. ‘How funny.’

Crossing my arms across my chest, I smile at her jest. ‘Well, I’m pleased you think it’s funny. So, have you or not?’

She splutters dramatically. ‘Bleurgh, Spence? Of course not! He’s like a baby brother. He’s also a bit pathetic. You might as well date a wet sponge.’

‘Don’t be so mean. He came across as really manly to me. And I assume he plays rugby so surely that means he’s a bit rough and ready.’

‘Yeah rough and ready for a soft play centre.’ She finds herself hilarious and I have to wait until she finishes laughing to continue. ‘In seriousness, he’s a good guy. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Just may be a bit too dull for you, in my opinion. But feel free to go ahead. I got the impression he liked you, so I doubt you’ll have to wait long for him to seek you out. You are fresh meat on this island.’

‘OK, that’s good to know.’ Unable to hide my delight, I feel the beginnings of a smile playing on my lips. I may have made a vow to concentrate on myself but there’s no harm in having a crush, especially on someone that Tilly says is a good guy. I’m perfectly aware that love isn’t the answer to my ultimate happiness right now, it’s more about personal fulfilment. Even if someone does happen to appear, I’m no longer foolish enough to let it distract me from the main thing I came here for; creating a new life and finding that passion I’ve been missing.

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