Getting Rowdy

As if he knew her thoughts, Rowdy smiled. “We can talk until the sun rises if that’s what you really want to do.”

It wouldn’t be the worst way to spend the night. “You don’t need to sleep?”

His attention moved over her face, her throat, her shoulders. “I’ve never needed much sleep.”

Given the intensity of his gaze, she almost felt naked. “You’re sure?”

His fingers trailed down her ponytail. “Fire away, honey, before I forget my promise.”

Avery tried to relax. It wasn’t easy, not with her thigh touching his, his heat surrounding her, his presence so...overwhelming—as usual.

To start, she went back a little in history. “That time I hid you in the pantry at the bar, I asked if you were in trouble, and you said pretty much always.”

“I have no problem making up shit when necessary, but for some reason I didn’t want to lie to you.”

Had he never lived aboveboard? What type of upbringing made him so casually accepting of difficulty? “There were five men searching the bar for you. Why?”

His hand stilled. “Because I’d asked too many questions, and I was getting too close.”

“Too close to what?”

“A trafficking operation.” She started to ask, but he shook his head. “No, not drugs. Women.”

Her throat tightened. “That’s...”

He agreed with a nod. “Totally fucked up, I know. I hid because there were too many of them. Three or four I could handle.” He held up a hand for her to see. “I’m a big man with big fists. When I hit someone, he feels it.” He rested his hand on her thigh. “I know how to fight dirty, and I know how to win. But five men at once? That would be pushing it.”

Of course, she recalled another time when he’d taken apart the goons who’d been involved in forcing women to transport drugs. It had all transpired in the bar just prior to Rowdy buying it. He’d fought with such ease, walking through the men as if they were nothing at all. “I’ve seen you fight. You’re dangerous.”

“You learn to be when it’s necessary.”

Sitting more or less snuggled into his side, she inhaled the warm musk of his skin with every breath. That, combined with the idea of him playing defender for so many women in need, left her liquid with desire. Rowdy used his size and strength to protect.

Such an admirable trait to have.

So different from her own personal experience.

Without even trying that hard—just by being himself—Rowdy pulled her from her self-imposed exile. “You’re a regular white knight, aren’t you?”

He eased closer. “Want to see my sword?”

A hero and a comedian. “You’re outrageous.” Avery smoothed a hand over his shoulder, enjoying the contrast of the soft T-shirt stretched taut over his solid frame. “Why was it necessary for you to learn?”

Her touch caused a brief pause and the tensing of his muscles. “What?”

“To fight.” She knew very few people who ever engaged in physical confrontations. While growing up, the only fights she’d ever witnessed had been in sporting matches. In her world, men had ruled with money and prestige, not brute strength.

Her one and only experience with physical anger had sent her running away and into hiding. “You’re so good, you make it look...effortless.”

He studied her, his attention far too intuitive. “You know I have a younger sister.”

And that explained his need to fight? One day, Avery would love to meet Pepper. “You two are close?”

His concentrated attention strayed from her mouth to her collarbone to her hair. “Our folks died in a car crash a long time ago, so it’s just the two of us.”

Oh, God, so tragic. In sympathy, Avery reached for his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” As if it didn’t matter at all, he laced his fingers with hers and said, “They were a waste of breath.”

The harsh words threw her, leaving her wide-eyed and speechless. She still grieved for her father, who’d died years past.

She mourned what would never again be, and for how everything had irrevocably changed—not for the better.

Rowdy turned her hand over, brushed his thumb over her palm. “My parents were both miserable drunks.” He explored the thrumming pulse in her wrist. “That’s how I got my name.”

Her stomach dipped when he put a damp, warm kiss to her wrist, followed by the soft touch of his tongue.

She needed to get him back on track, and fast—before she forgot her reasons for waiting. “I think you told me once that your mom was a Clint Eastwood fan. I assume that’s why she named you after one of his characters.”

Sardonic humor curved his mouth. “She claimed that she went into labor during a three-day drinking binge and couldn’t remember any other names. She and Dad would laugh about the good times, which usually led to a rip-roaring drunk and a lot of bitching about how kids got in the way of having fun.”

The insensitivity of his parents both angered and saddened her. “They actually told you that?”

His mellow gaze showed total disregard for the cruelty. “The night they wrecked, they took out six other cars. Luckily no one else died, but a lot of people got banged up pretty good.”

Emotion squeezed the air out of her lungs, making her chest hurt. “You weren’t with them?”

He shook his head. “I was pretty young still when I learned to recognize the signs. Mom would get giddy, or Dad would smile a certain way, and I knew they planned to tie one on. I’d hide with Pepper so they couldn’t take us.” Looking beyond her, he drew in two slow breaths. “When I got big enough, around the time I turned twelve or so, I just flat out refused to go. They figured leaving me behind was easier than the fight it took to take us along.”

So young! Her eyes burned with the idea of how he’d lived his youth. “Pepper...”

“I kept her with me.”

She was glad to hear it, but how much strength had it taken for a boy at that young age to defy alcoholic parents?

Rowdy traced the lines in her palm. “I was home with Pepper when we got the news they were dead.” His hand tightened on hers. “She cried for two days straight.”

That poor girl. “How old was she?”

“Fifteen. Plenty old enough to understand that we’d been on the radar for children’s services for years. She figured with our folks gone, she’d end up in a foster home.”

A vise of sorrow closed around Avery’s heart. Now she understood what had forged Rowdy’s hard edge—pure survival. “How old were you?”

“Just turned eighteen.”

On the run. Avery already knew, but asked anyway. “You took off with your sister, didn’t you?”

“That seemed better than being separated. And we did okay for a few years. At times, it was even kind of fun.”

Because he no longer had abuse to deal with? She fought the unbearable urge to hug him tightly, knowing he wouldn’t appreciate it.

Not for the reasons motivating her.

Without her realizing it, Rowdy tugged the cloth-covered band from her hair, freeing it.

“Rowdy...” She reached back to gather the unruly mass, but he already had his fingers tangled in it, spreading it out, bringing it forward over her shoulder.

As if fascinated with her hair, he watched his hand instead of meeting her gaze. “Pepper had grown up without much, so she didn’t feel like we were missing anything. Long as we had a roof over our heads and enough to eat, she was happy.”

Gently, Avery said, “I think being happy had more to do with having her big brother around.”

“Maybe.” He gave a gruff laugh of disgust. “I screwed up a lot of stuff, but most of all when I got us both jobs in a high-end club. The pay was great. I was able to save up some money and keep Pepper close at hand.”

Had he been protecting Pepper his whole life? First from his parents, and then from well-meaning authorities?

If so, where did that leave Rowdy?

Who had looked out for him?

Avery tried to imagine him as a little boy stuck in a bar while his parents drank themselves into oblivion. At thirteen, hiding with his sister. At eighteen, on the run from the establishment.

“You did the best you could.” Always.

Something shifted in his demeanor, the sadness replaced with iron will—yet his touch remained gentle as he toyed with a long lock of her red hair. “By the time I realized the club owner was a murdering bastard, it was too late.”

Oh, no. Visions of horrible scenarios played out in her head. “You were hurt?”

“That would have been easier.”

Meaning he’d been hurt before? The thought crushed her, making it even more impossible to resist him.

Concern robbed her voice of strength. “Your sister?”

He nodded. “It’s a convoluted story, but the gist of it is that Pepper saw a city commissioner take a bullet to the brain.”

Stunned, Avery forgot about her hair and barely noticed when Rowdy lifted it to his face.

“She stuck to the shadows, so they didn’t at first know that she’d seen anything. I was working the floor as a bouncer, and Pepper didn’t want to chance telling me. Before I knew what had happened, she’d shared the details with a reporter.”

It took Avery a moment to find her voice. “Why not the police?”

As if it made perfect sense, and was to be expected, he said, “Powerful men have powerful contacts.”

Sadly, she knew something about powerful men. “Police?”

“Yeah. More than a few of the boys in blue hung out in the club. So many of them were on the take, Pepper didn’t know which ones, if any, were honest.”

That explained Rowdy’s distrust of the law. “A terrible situation.”

The back of his knuckles brushed her cheek, down the side of her neck. “Unfortunately, the boss also employed a few people at the newspaper. When the reporter tried calling in his ‘big story from Yates,’ he ended up with his throat cut. The only upside was that everyone figured me as the snitch.”

Covering her mouth with both hands, Avery waited to hear the rest of the story. She knew it wouldn’t be good.

He slid a hand around her jaw, tipped up her face. “We had few options, and no one to trust.”

Because they were all alone in the world. How tragically heartbreaking. “You became a target?”

He shrugged as if it didn’t matter. “For once, being a street rat came in handy. I had my own contacts, so I got Pepper a new identity and tucked her away in an apartment building I won in a card game. I stayed mobile, moving around so no one could get a bead on me. I was the one they remembered, the one they wanted. I figured without me, they wouldn’t find her.”

Meaning they’d ended up separated after all? It felt like her heart shattered. “I’m so sorry.”

“I covered our trails the best I could...” He locked his jaw and turned away. “But not good enough, since Logan Riske still found us.”

Logan, the detective his sister fell in love with, and vice versa. “I thought that was a good thing.”

“They’re in love. But it could have easily gone south, without the happy ending.”

Avery tried to take it in, but it wasn’t easy. “You said you won a building in a card game?”

“I have all kinds of talents.” He slid a finger along the neckline of her shirt, seducing her almost out of habit. “Want me to show you a few?”

His resourcefulness, his dedication to his sister, astounded her. She tipped her head. “Have you ever been arrested?”

He blew out a breath, and for the moment at least gave up on his seduction. “A few times when I was underage. Shoplifting and stuff like that.”

She wanted to ask him what he’d stolen, but it didn’t matter. Survival. Somehow she knew whatever he’d taken had been inspired by need, not greed. “And since then?”

His smile hardened. “I’ve gotten better—at everything I do.”

Knowing the outrageous comment was meant to distract her, Avery snorted. She had a feeling Rowdy was more honest than most. “What sort of illegal stuff do you do now?”

He opened his hand on the side of her neck, bent to kiss her temple. “Whatever I have to.”

“To protect the people you love?”

“What the hell, Avery?” He sat back from her. “Don’t make me out a saint, okay?”

“I would never make that mistake.” Rowdy was better than a saint, more solid and real. An honest-to-God tough guy, here in the flesh. She’d take that over an ethereal saint any day.

No longer caring what Rowdy thought, Avery slipped her arms around his neck and nestled against him.

“Damn it.” He stiffened without returning her embrace. “Here I am, getting more turned on by the second, and you want to slap a halo on my head.”

With her nose pressed close to the skin of his throat, she breathed deep, filling herself with his potent scent. He smelled so good, felt even better, and she admired him so much. “A halo would never fit over your massive ego.”

It’d be so easy to fall in love with him—and that was a problem. Rowdy wasn’t an emotional man looking for commitment. For the most part, he was a loner with an overactive sex drive and a lack of respect for boundaries of any kind.

“True, so don’t act like I was noble or something.” He caught her shoulders and tried to pry her loose. Avery held on until he finally gave up. Tangling a hand in her hair, he gently drew her head back. “I fucked up, you know. Pepper and I ended up living off the grid for more than two years. It was hard on her—”

Avery touched her mouth to his, saying, “She’s alive.”

His breathing quickened. “Thank God.”

“Thank Rowdy.” Smiling, she brushed her mouth over his again. Her fingertips touched his now-bristly jaw, moved down to the side of his hot neck then under the neckline of his shirt to his solid shoulder. Need unfurled, but she sat back before she got carried away.

Rowdy looked stunned.

And interested.

She wanted more. So much more.

Did she dare take a walk on the wild side?

She had a feeling that Rowdy would be more than worth the risk. As long as she kept her heart safe, what was the worst that could happen?

No, she didn’t want to think about the worst. Not now.

With Rowdy watching her warily, she forced herself back on track. “Since your sister is happily settled here, you’re going to settle down, too?”

Apparently uneasy with the idea of settling down, he shifted his shoulders and glanced around at the apartment. “For now, at least.”

He didn’t sound entirely set on the idea. But he’d bought the bar, and she knew he loved working it. He couldn’t pick up and disappear without her knowing. “Can I ask you one more question before we go?”

“Do I actually have a choice?”

Beneath his teasing tone, she heard the agitation. He worried that she’d dig too deep, that something he said would drive her away.

He couldn’t know how much she wanted him, because she’d taken pains to hide it from him. Maybe it was time to stop doing that.

“I want to know everything about you.” For most of his life, choices had been taken away from him. She’d never do that to him. “But I won’t pry anymore if it bothers you.”

That surprised him, too. He scowled at her. “Let’s hear it.”

Enjoying him like this, in this particular humble, grumbling mood, she rested against his chest again. “You said you didn’t want to bring a casual hookup here.”

“It’s bad enough that the ladies in the building keep bugging me. Some women don’t know how to take no for an answer.”

Few men would complain about that situation. “So...why is it okay if I’m here?”

Avery felt his sudden stillness, heard the heavy thumping of his strong heart along with his softly muttered curse.

She stayed close, waiting.

He let out a strained breath. “With you, Avery, I never really know what the hell I’m doing.”

* * *

THE COLD NIGHT started to seep into his bones. All around him he heard unsettling noises that made him jumpy. He wouldn’t be surprised if murder and mayhem happened on a regular basis in such a downtrodden area. It was time for him to go home. He had what he needed now.

He knew where she worked, and he knew who she fucked.

Putting a plan in place would be oh-so-easy.

Soon, Avery, he silently promised. Very, very soon.

CHAPTER FOUR

THE MOON, combined with dashboard lights, sent a soft glow over Avery’s profile as he drove her home. His awareness of this one particular woman throbbed through his veins, leaving him on the ragged edge. It wouldn’t take more than a single agreeable look from her to get him hard.

Again.

That damned torturous episode on his couch had nearly done him in. He couldn’t keep from touching her, even if he was the only one to combust.

No one had ever touched him so...gently before. That kiss hadn’t been sexual. It didn’t say, “Fuck me, Rowdy.” Actually, he didn’t know what the hell it said, and he wasn’t at all sure he liked it.

The uncertainty hadn’t kept him from getting turned on, though.

Why is it okay if I’m here? she’d wanted to know. So many reasons...

Instead of reacting as most women would, Avery had looked at him with empathy, sadness, maybe understanding. Because he’d spilled his guts to her. He flexed his hands on the steering wheel and tried to shrug off the uncomfortable sense of vulnerability.

It pissed him off that he’d said so much. Hell, he didn’t confide in anyone. Not even his sister. Definitely not a woman he planned to have under him as soon as humanly possible.

Why is it okay if I’m here?

Then again, Avery was different from other women. He wanted her, no mistaking that, but even when he knew he wouldn’t have her, he enjoyed talking to her and just...being with her. She made him feel things, unfamiliar stuff he’d never dealt with before.

And that was saying something, since he’d had more than his share of shit to manage.

“You’re so quiet,” she said with unsettling understanding. “Everything okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Just because she asked him questions he couldn’t answer.

“I don’t know,” she said. “You seem bothered.”

“I’m thinking, that’s all.” He had no idea about Avery’s background. He knew enough about false impressions that he refused to draw conclusions just because she worked in a shit bar and rode a bus instead of driving.

“About my question?” She turned defensive. “Relax, Rowdy. I won’t make assumptions just because I was granted entrance to your private domain.”

Defensive and dramatic. Did she really have no clue how differently he felt with her? “A smart person never assumes.”

She crossed her arms and huddled farther into the corner of the front seat. “If it’s that much of a problem, forget I asked about it.”

He glanced at her, but she kept her face averted, watching the landscape pass by her window. Her beautiful red hair, now freed from the band thanks to him, flowed over her shoulders and helped to keep her concealed.

“Never said it was a problem.” He just didn’t have an easy answer.

“Yet, ten minutes later, you’re still stewing.”

Her prickly attitude amused him, and maybe that’s what he liked most about her. No matter his mood, she lightened it just by being near at hand, by being herself—quirky and honest and so damned unique. “I had to figure it out.”

That got her attention. Like a warm touch, her gaze moved over him. “And did you?”

“I think so.” Following her directions, he took a right down a quiet side street. “I don’t like having women chase after me.”

She snorted. “And that’s why you do so much to discourage them?”

“I meant after I’ve already slept with them,” he clarified. “Doesn’t matter how I spell things out up front, too often they’re looking for a repeat.”

She smirked in annoyance. “One and done, huh?”

Feeling her scrutiny, he gave a noncommittal lift of his shoulder. With Avery, he had his doubts that even a dozen times would be enough. “Living out of my car, using motels just as a place to crash—”

“Or have sex.”

He agreed with a nod. “That’s not really the type of setup where you want to get cozy with someone. I didn’t date. I didn’t do romance. I hooked up long enough to take care of business—”

“To get laid?”

Having her break it down like that annoyed him. “Are you going to paraphrase everything I say? I can be more blunt if that’s what you want.”

She shook her hair behind her shoulders and lifted her chin. “I’m listening.”

“All right, fine. I’m set in my ways. I like to fuck and move on. No reason to make more out of it than that.”

The silence became so heavy, he felt like a dick. And really, why had he shared that with her? Avery was unique, so the usual didn’t apply to her.

He still hadn’t answered her question, but she let it go and instead cleared her throat.

“I guess that helped pass the time?”

Rowdy laughed. He glanced at her, and laughed again. “That’s one way to put it.” He’d already said too much to her; no way would he tell her that occasionally, casual sex was all that got him through the night. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Ever had any one-night stands?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Not my thing.”

“Only serious monogamy, huh?” That could be a big problem for him, but somehow he’d get around it.

“I’ve dated casually, just for fun.”

“With a handshake at the end of the night?”

She swatted his shoulder. “I’m not that bad.” Looking away and going introspective, she added, “But I had to know the guy and at least like him a lot to want to get involved.”

The idea of her “being involved” bugged him more than it should have. “Ever been engaged? Married?”

He felt her withdraw. Hell, it got so quiet he could hear her breathing, could almost hear her heartbeats.

“Avery?” What the hell? Was she still hung up on someone? Was she nursing a broken heart?

“My life was different from yours.”

“Glad to hear it.” But what did that have to do with anything?

“I almost feel guilty now. While you were dealing with so much, I was pampered.”

“Good.” Headlights showed in his rearview mirror, distracting Rowdy. “I wouldn’t wish my folks on anyone, much less another kid.” Definitely not Avery.

Slowly she inhaled, exhaled, inhaled again. “My parents were well-off. Growing up, I can’t remember wanting anything that I didn’t get.”

“Were well-off? They’re not now?” The car pulled closer behind them. Too close for safety.

Close enough for him to read the license plate and commit the number to his memory.

Oblivious to their tail, Avery worried her hands together for a different reason. When she realized what she was doing, she flattened them on her thighs. “Actually, I think Mom has even more wealth now. After my dad died a few years ago, she married one of the partners in his company.”

She’d lost her dad? Bummer. Somehow he figured the loss was a whole lot different for her than it had been for him. “I’m sorry.”

“Me, too. Dad was everything your dad wasn’t. I saw him drink wine occasionally, but I don’t remember him ever getting drunk. Mom, either. It’s just not done. Even though Dad traveled a few times a month, we had a lot of time together. Vacations and holidays. He’d set his schedule around my life so he could be there for all the important stuff.”

Still aware of the car behind them, Rowdy took another turn, this one not part of Avery’s directions. She didn’t notice. “That’s how it should be, right? In a real family, I mean.” What the hell did he know of real families? Jack shit.

“I suppose.” Melancholy tinged her soft voice. “I’ve never been in love.”

“That’s a problem for you?” Because it sure wasn’t a problem for him. In fact, he liked it that she hadn’t fallen for anyone.

Avery shook her head. “Dad wanted to see me settled down. But it never happened. I traveled a lot after college. I wanted to see the world and my parents indulged me. Getting a job, marriage and all that...it didn’t seem that important.”