Meant-To-Be Baby

“Something Aunt Margaret said before she went to bed makes me think the two of them have come up with a new scheme.” Victoria read his face and chuckled. “You think that’s good. It might be. It might also turn out to be totally, utterly impossible. In which case,” she explained, leaning forward so he’d understand, “my sisters and I will have to gently disabuse them of the notion.”

“Having met the two ladies, I’m guessing that won’t be easy.” Ben tried and failed to smother his amusement. Suddenly he sat up straight. “Was that Mikey calling? Since we, er, found his parents’ bodies, he’s had nightmares and—”

“Being afraid is probably normal for all little kids sometimes. But I have a monitor in Mikey’s room, Ben.” She pulled it out of her pocket. “Listen.” She held it up. All that transmitted was the sound of smooth, even breathing. “He’s fine, but I can go check on him if that will make you feel better.”

“Do you mind?” He glanced at his foot. “I’d do it but that spiral staircase is daunting.”

“I take it you’re happy with your main-floor room down the hall, then?” She chuckled at his forceful nod and rose. “Back in a jiffy.”

Snugging her ancient and tattered velvet robe around her waist, Victoria scooted up the stairs. Mikey was fast asleep just like her aunts who were snoring. There were no sounds from the room Olivia shared with Adele so Victoria padded down the stairs in her fluffy slippers and reentered the salon.

“Everything’s good, Ben.” She scanned his tense face. “But I don’t think you are.”

“It’s my leg. I need to elevate it. I’d better get to bed.” He rose slowly, using his crutch. “Thanks for checking on Mikey and the cocoa and the talk, Victoria. I’ll pray about The Haven’s future though I’m not sure it will do much good. I’m pretty new at the whole praying thing.”

“New Christian or old, doesn’t make a difference to God. ‘The Lord has set apart the redeemed for Himself. Therefore He will listen to me and answer when I call upon Him,’” she quoted. “That’s what David said in the fourth chapter of Psalms.”

“That’s a verse I need to memorize,” he murmured thoughtfully. “So often I feel like God doesn’t hear me, especially when I see the heartache and devastation in my job. To know that God always listens—that’s comforting.” He stared directly into her eyes. “I’m impressed that you can quote the Bible so easily.”

“Part and parcel of living with Tillie and Margaret.” Victoria smiled. “The Bible is an intricate part of their lives and, by association, those around them.” And you’ve failed to live up to their and your own Biblical principles. A chill ran up her spine. Soon she’d be telling him all of it—“Good night, Ben.”

“Good night.” He continued to study her for several moments. Then he awkwardly wheeled around and thumped across the oak floor, toward his room down the hall.

Victoria waited until she heard his door close before resuming her seat in the armchair, her brain whirling with questions.

How was she going to help the aunts stay at The Haven?

How was she going to raise a baby on her own, with no visible means of support? How was she going to stand seeing the disappointed looks on her aunts’ faces when she told them? She’d already caused them so much heartache when she first came here. Maybe they wouldn’t even want her anymore.

Just how much could their love endure?

Her fingers splayed over her midsection.

God, are You mad at me?

She’d just assured Ben that God always listened, but deep inside her heart, Victoria felt a void, an emptiness she’d never known before. She knew why that was. She’d disregarded the principles she’d been raised on. Maybe God was now leaving it up to her to handle having and raising this baby alone. She was no weakling, but being strong enough for that scared Victoria to her core.

* * *

The next morning, Ben savored the delicious breakfast Adele had prepared.

“Olivia and I have to get back to work,” she’d explained as she shrugged into her coat. “Since Jake plowed out the road last night to take you into the doctor this morning, we’ll get an early start. Olivia has to catch a flight to Ottawa. She works there for the military. I live in Edmonton and I have a catering job scheduled for tomorrow so I have to go, too.”

“Have a good trip,” he said with a smile.

“Thanks. Vic’s still sleeping. I left a note telling her we’ll text later.”

“I hope we see you and Mikey again, Ben,” Olivia added.

“Me, too,” he said, and meant it.

After hugging their aunts and promising to return soon, the two left. Then Jake appeared and said he’d be driving Ben to town. Conscious of his lack of mobility and wearied by the physical strain of getting in and out of the doctor’s office, Ben was glad to return to The Haven.

“The doctor said you’ll be fine?” Margaret nodded when he repeated the diagnosis of rest. “Good. You and Mikey can stay and relax.”

“Thank you. And thank you for watching him while I went into town.” He sipped his coffee, glad the boy had slept in until a few minutes ago.

“I wish the girls could have stayed a little longer.” Tillie cuddled her coffee mug in her hand. “It’s so much fun when they’re here.”

“Maybe, with the right incentive, they’ll come back.” Margaret wore a quirky smile that Ben thought was somewhat cunning.

“What’s the right incentive, Auntie?” Victoria stumbled into the kitchen, trying to smother a gigantic yawn and failing. Ben thought she looked awful.

“My dear, are you ill?” Tillie rushed to Victoria’s side and ushered her to a chair at the table. “Your face is positively gray!”

“I slept in too long. Maybe that’s why I feel a little off this morning,” Victoria admitted.

A little off? Not the way Ben would have put it.

“Coffee might help,” Margaret suggested.

Perhaps he was the only one who saw Victoria almost gag.

“I’ll wait a bit, thanks, Auntie.”

“I’m sorry if rescuing us caused you to be ill,” he apologized.

“It didn’t.” Victoria avoided looking at him. As if to divert attention from herself, she asked Mikey if he’d slept well.

“I had a good sleep,” his nephew said with a grin. “When I waked up, I saw your little light.”

“Auntie Margaret gave me that light after I came here to live.” Victoria smiled at her aunt. “I was older than you are, Mikey, but I still had bad dreams. Auntie said that when I woke up afraid, I should look at the lamp and remember that Jesus was right beside me, protecting me.”

“Like you said to me!” Mikey exclaimed. “I did an’ it worked. I didn’t get ’fraid.”

“I’m glad. Excuse me.” Victoria suddenly burst from her chair and bolted from the room.

“Oh, the poor dear.” Tillie put on the kettle. “I’ll make her some peppermint tea.”

“I’ll get some crackers.” Margaret frowned as she set the packet on the table. “The child is so thin. It’s not healthy.”

“It’s the fashion now and she’s hardly a child.” Tillie smiled as Victoria returned, looking, in Ben’s opinion, even more pasty-faced than before. “All right, dear?”

“Just a flu bug.” She studied his sling. “That doesn’t look like my work.”

“This morning, Jake drove me in to see the doctor who checked it then redid it. He said your work was very professional.” Ben couldn’t help wondering if Victoria actually heard him. She looked as if she was thinking about something else.

“That’s nice.” She smiled wanly before tearing open the crackers. “Too bad the girls had to leave.”

“Yes, it is.” Tillie exchanged what Ben thought was an odd look with her sister.

“We never had a chance to tell them our idea,” Margaret murmured.

“Your—idea?” Victoria suddenly went still. She glanced from one senior to the other before asking in a hesitant voice, “What’s your idea, Aunties?”

“To make The Haven a—a spa. Is that the word, sister?” Tillie looked to Margaret for clarification.

Ben watched Victoria’s eyes widen. She seemed to scramble for a response.

“A spa is a—good idea, Aunties,” she managed to say. “The Haven has a wonderful location. But—well, we don’t have any pools or hot tubs or mud baths or masseuses. You know,” she continued when the aunts looked confused, “the usual spa things that draw people.”

“Oh, no, dear. Spa’s the wrong word.” Tillie frowned at Margaret. “Can you explain?”

“Think retreat,” Margaret clarified. “A retreat for kids. Troubled kids. Foster kids. Like you were, Victoria.”

Ben immediately saw the potential. Acres of land for hikes to wear kids out. Wild animals to observe, room to relax and allow nature’s peace to calm tortured hearts.

“For kids?” Victoria frowned. “But there’s nothing here for kids!”

“There was for you,” Margaret reminded tartly.

“Yes, but that was years ago, Auntie. Today’s kids are techies, constantly connected. They’d need organized activities—” She stopped, no doubt aware of the sisters’ growing irritation.

“I can see it.” Ben probably should have shut up given Victoria’s annoyed glance in his direction. But he couldn’t. “Trails to hike, endurance or training courses, a chance to work with the cows and chickens you have. Kids might really enjoy a place like this.”

“You know a lot about kids?” Victoria demanded, probably reminding him of his claim not to know how to parent. But Ben let his imagination go.

“I don’t, but I’d guess the river I’ve seen crossing the valley could offer decent swimming in the summer,” he mused.

“Where would these kids stay?” Victoria’s question was directed at her aunts. “They have to sleep somewhere. They’d need counsellors or someone to watch them.” She scowled. “There are only ten bedrooms here in The Haven.”

“There are the cabins,” Margaret replied.

Ben glanced through the big window but saw no buildings.

“Aunties, the cabins haven’t been used in years. They’re decrepit and...” Victoria’s tone bordered on exasperation.

“No, they’re not.” Tillie’s normally soft voice was loud and firm. “Jake checked them over for us. He did some repairs himself and oversaw local volunteers who helped with others. Bottom line, we have eight cabins that will each sleep four, five at a pinch. Maggie’s already ordered new mattresses for the cots,” she added defiantly.

“We weren’t going to say that, Tillie,” her sister admonished. “But since you have...” She shrugged. “We also ordered some canoes. Boating on the river was something our boys enjoyed so much,” she explained to Ben.

Boys? he wondered.

“Our fiancés were real outdoorsmen,” Tillie agreed with a reminiscent smile.

Victoria looked dumbfounded. Mikey glanced curiously from one woman to the other. Ben was intrigued.

“Describe who you envision coming here,” he murmured.

“Children like our four girls,” Tillie said with a smile at Victoria. “Kids who need to escape the lure of drugs or whatever evil they’re trapped in. Or perhaps they and their foster families simply need a break from each other, time to think.”

“We’re still in touch with the foster system in Edmonton, you know,” Margaret added with a pointed look at her foster daughter. “They think it’s a wonderful idea.”

“I’m sure they do.” Victoria chewed another cracker.

“You think we’re too old, don’t you?” Tillie frowned. “Well, we’ll never be too old to answer when the Lord calls us.”

“Are you sure He called you, Auntie?” Victoria’s normally musical voice had a frosty edge. “Or was it your friends in Social Services who made you think this was a good idea?”

Ben watched the twins draw erect, their annoyance obvious.

“We have thought and prayed about this decision for months, Victoria. We’ve conducted many inquiries into how the logistics would work, the cost, the need for helpers,” Margaret spoke clearly, her voice confident. “We have sought the Lord over and over to ascertain His will. We believe this is it.”

“You’re going ahead with it.” The words carried resignation.

“We’d like to.” Tillie took her hand. “On one condition.”

“We’ve been praying that you’d be willing to help us,” Margaret finished.

“Me?” Victoria’s dark head reared back, gray eyes wide. “How could I help?”

“My dear, you are a fixer, a problem-solver for the hotel. You didn’t train for it. You trained to be a teacher. But when your school closed, you took the hotel job and mastered anticipating and resolving situations that frustrated others. You made things work. That’s what we want, someone who will enable our idea. Right, Maggie?” She looked to Margaret who nodded once.

“But—but—” Victoria’s glance moved around the table, staring at each one of them. Ben felt her gaze rested on him longest.

“May I ask something?” he said quickly, desperate to know if his trip had been in vain.

“Please do.” Tillie inclined her head.

“Does your new plan mean you’ll stop writing people in the military? That you won’t want them to come to The Haven anymore?”

“We see the two meshing. Veterans who visit The Haven may be willing to interact with our guests, even become mentors.” Margaret’s words came crisp and clear. “We think they’d have much to offer.”

“And that brings us to the reason you came to see us, doesn’t it?” Tillie’s smile warmed him, chased away the fear that had hatched inside him. “Let’s go to the study and talk about your situation, Ben. I’m sure Victoria and Mikey can find something to do until we’re finished.” She rose, linked her arm with her sister’s and beckoned him before they walked out.

“Coming.” Ben rose and moved awkwardly toward the door. He paused by Victoria, touched by the confusion in her eyes. “Their plan upset you. Will you be all right?”

“Eventually.” Her smile held more determination than mirth. “Go. Mikey and I will be fine.” She grimaced and jumped up. “Right after I’m sick.” She scurried from the room as if chased.

“Is Vic okay, Unca Ben?” Mikey sounded worried he’d lose another adult from his world.

Ben couldn’t respond because he’d time-traveled back to Neil’s, sitting in the kitchen, watching as his sister-in-law, Alice, turned green and then raced away.

“Is she okay?” he’d asked his brother.

“Alice is fine. Just pregnant.”

Could Victoria be pregnant?

Brain whirling, Ben ordered Mikey to stay put and hobbled out of the kitchen to answer Tillie’s impatient call.

Was Victoria going to be a mom? A mental picture of her cradling a tiny baby in her arms stuck with Ben all through his conversation with the elderly sisters.

Why was he so certain Victoria would be an amazing mother? It was obvious. She was kind and generous and obviously willing to put her own wants after the needs of her elderly aunts. And she was great with Mikey.

But where was the baby’s father? Did she love him? Was she planning to marry soon? And why did that thought bug him?

Ben had a hunch that Victoria was keeping the news from her aunts and probably her sisters also since none of them had offered congratulations. But why?

All of these questions and hundreds more made Ben decide to question Victoria. Maybe she’d explain it as she’d explained about her aunts. He felt this intense need to know everything about her, though in truth, it wasn’t any of his business.

Chapter Three

With her stomach upset, her mind troubled by the aunts’ grandiose plans for The Haven and her heart even more bothered that Ben was considering letting Mikey be adopted, Victoria couldn’t sit still, so she did what she always did when she needed to think. She went for a long walk through the forest—with Mikey.

“What’re those marks in the snow?” he wanted to know.

“Rabbit tracks.” Kids, here at The Haven?

“What’s that big block?”

“Salt. Deer like to lick it.” Why not kids at The Haven? As Auntie said, we four sisters found plenty to do here.

“Why is that tree black?”

“Forest fire.” Victoria smiled at his worried look. “We don’t have forest fires in the winter, Mikey, and even if we did, there’s a lot more equipment to fight them now than there was when this one happened.”

Safety—another reason why inviting kids out to the mountains wasn’t a great idea. They could get lost or injured.

“I wish I could live here.” Mikey’s comment jerked her out of her thoughts.

“You do?” Victoria hid a smile as he veered away from the panting dogs. “Even though Spot and Dot live at The Haven?” Mikey’s emphatic nod said a lot. “How come?”

“There’s no bad men here,” he whispered. “They won’t get me an’ Unca Ben.”

“No, they sure won’t,” Victoria assured him.

But that was hardly comfort enough. She tried to imagine what she would tell her own child in such a situation. For sure she’d want to soothe him. Maybe she’d gather him on her knee, hug him close and tell him the Bible story of how God protected little Samuel, just as her foster aunts had told her.

As Mikey’s anxious face searched hers for answers, Victoria knew she couldn’t fail him so she crouched beside him and drew him into the circle of her arms.

“Nobody’s going to get you, sweetheart,” she comforted, moved by his little-boy-lost expression. “Uncle Ben’s nearby. And God’s looking after you.”

“He didn’t look after my mommy an’ daddy.” Clearly Mikey was troubled.

Victoria wasn’t sure how to respond, but she didn’t have to because he added in a very quiet voice, “Me an’ Unca Ben woulda been there to ’tect Mommy and Daddy if I didn’t ask for ice cream.”

“Oh, no, my darling.” Victoria’s heart ached for the blame he carried. Mikey and Ben both felt responsible for something over which they had no control. “Listen to me, Mikey. Having ice cream with your uncle didn’t make those men hurt your parents. You are not to blame.”

“But Unca Ben coulda stopped them if we’d gone home. He coulda,” he assured her with a frown. “Unca Ben is big and strong. His job is to ’tect people.”

“I know.” Victoria bit her lip. She could hardly reassure Mikey that his uncle would be here to protect him because that wasn’t true. Ben felt he had to find someone else to do that—unless she, or perhaps the aunts, could change his mind. “Mikey, God’s even bigger than Uncle Ben. He can keep you safe when Uncle Ben’s not there. You can trust God. When you’re afraid, you can pray and ask Him to make the fear go away. God’s your Heavenly Father and He loves you very much.”

After studying her silently, Mikey resumed plodding through the snow. Victoria inwardly winced at his sad expression, glad for the silence as recrimination filled her. How dare she tell others to trust—she who hadn’t trusted God to find her a man deserving of her love? She’d failed to live up to standards her aunts had ingrained in her. What kind of example would she be to kids who came to The Haven? How could a pregnant single woman talk to them about God, about keeping His commandments? Her cheeks burned with shame.

She kept glancing at Mikey as they walked. Why couldn’t Ben see that Mikey needed him? Now more than ever. She sighed with frustration. Walking had failed to provide her with the answers she craved.

When they returned to the house, Ben waited for them in the kitchen.

“Are you all right?” His dark blue eyes inspected her face.

“I’m fine.” She turned away to make some toast. “The fresh air up here always does wonders for me.”

“Uh-huh.” Something in the way he said that made her twist to look at him. Disliking the speculative look on his face, she quickly changed the subject. “Mikey saw lots of interesting things.”

Thankfully that sent the boy into a long-winded explanation of the sights and sounds around The Haven, leaving Victoria, who was suddenly ravenous, to munch on toast and peanut butter between sips of well-creamed coffee.

“What do you have planned today?” Ben asked when she finally rose to put her dishes in the dishwasher.

“Well, since Olivia and Adele are gone, I suppose lunch will be up to me. Unless—” She checked the fridge and then pumped her fist. “Yes! My dear sister left us a huge pot of soup which means I don’t have to cook.”

“I can cook if you need help,” Ben offered.

“That’s nice of you, though I can cook. Tillie and Margaret would never have allowed us girls to leave The Haven without knowing how to care for ourselves.” She wrinkled her nose as she set a coloring book and crayons in front of Mikey. “It’s just that cooking’s not my favorite activity.”

“What is?” Ben accepted a refill of coffee before leaning back in his chair and waiting.

“Almost any kind of sport. Or anything to do with kids or animals.” She glanced from him to Mikey before asking, “Were you able to discuss—things, while we were walking?”

“Yes.” He studied his nephew with a frown. “The ladies are writing a few letters. This afternoon they’re going to town to mail them and—er—check into some possibilities.”

“Ben, are you sure about this?”

“Pretty sure.” His mouth tightened in a grim line. “I can’t think of any other way.”

Victoria studied Mikey. “It’s just—”

“What do you think of Tillie and Margaret’s idea for The Haven’s newest outreach?” Now he was trying to change the subject.

“Over the top.” Victoria grimaced. “But that’s par for the course for them.”

“I think it’s amazing.” Ben’s face blazed with interest. “Think of the possibilities. What kid wouldn’t want to come here?”

“If only it were that easy,” she muttered.

“You mean your aunts don’t have the qualifications or certifications or whatever they need?”

“I’m pretty sure they do. Tillie and Margaret took all the necessary courses to foster long before they brought us here. And they’re diligent about keeping up with the foster system, constantly adding to their knowledge.” She tapped her finger against her mug. “But more importantly, they have good contacts.”

“In Jasper, you mean?” Ben looked confused.

“Jasper, Edmonton, Vancouver, Toronto. You name the place and I can almost guarantee my aunts know someone there who knows someone who knows someone.” Victoria grinned at his visible skepticism. “It’s true. How do you think they got to know so many people?”

“Tell me.” His shrug made her chuckle.

“Their colonel, of course.” Victoria shrugged back at him. “When vets the aunts had written to came for a visit here at The Haven, they told the ladies about the appalling situations they and some of their buddy veterans now lived in. Of course, the aunties had to do something. They enlisted the colonel and his colonel and general buddies to petition the government to spend more on those who’d given their service to this country. Because of the huge support, government response was enacted.”

“Good for them,” Ben said.

“Yes, but more importantly, as folks learned of Tillie and Margaret’s original letter-writing, they began asking the aunts to write to their deployed family members. My dear aunties’ letter-writing ministry grew.” She smiled. “They always include a word about God and invite everyone to visit. Many come to thank them or seek their advice. My aunties have led a lot of people to Jesus and thus continues their missionary work,” she said proudly.

“Now they want to extend it to foster kids. Judging by their past success, I’d say their idea has a good chance of success,” he mused quietly.

“Of course it does,” Victoria said crisply.

“But you don’t want it to?” The words had barely left Ben’s lips when he recanted. “No, that’s not right. You love these ladies. Naturally you want them to succeed. So what’s your stumbling block?” He watched her closely.

“The amount of work. They can take a rest from letter-writing if they need to, but running this place as a retreat will be nonstop. They’re seventy-five, Ben.”

“They seem younger.”

“They can’t run the kind of place they’re describing alone. They’ll need employees, payroll, insurance, programs, knowledge of regulations and, I’m sure, renovations,” Victoria sighed. “There will be a ton of stuff involved.”