Meant-To-Be Baby

“We’re delighted to have you and Mikey visit The Haven.” Margaret Spenser was a doppelgänger for her twin sister in everything but demeanor. Where Tillie reminded Ben of a graceful Southern belle, Margaret bustled to fulfill some unspoken agenda. “God has certainly supplied your medical needs. Victoria’s bandages look most effective.”

“Yes, they are.” He glanced from the sling holding his arm to his chest to the petite beauty sitting across from him. A straight fall of almost-black hair lovingly cupped Victoria’s sculpted ivory face as she sat in a wingback chair with Mikey cuddled beside her. At the moment, she was studying him with her inscrutable gray eyes. Ben looked back at Margaret. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

“You are more than welcome, dear. It’s a good thing you knew how to get our computer to scoop so Victoria could contact the doctor,” Tillie said.

“Skype,” he corrected, quickly realizing this lady neither knew nor cared about computers.

“Yes, it’s called Skype, sister. Anyway, it’s too bad we can’t get you into Chokecherry Hollow, Ben. But at least Doc was able, with Victoria’s help, to ascertain that your injuries aren’t severe. Now, please excuse us while we go assist the other girls with dinner. Mikey, come and help us.” Margaret lifted a hand when Victoria shifted as if to rise. “You stay here and entertain our guest, dear.”

Ben didn’t understand Victoria’s frown nor the odd way she studied her aunts’ retreating figures, Mikey between them. “Is something the matter?” he asked politely.

“I’m not sure.” Victoria refocused on him. “But they have that look.”

“What look?” Confused, Ben tried to recall something in the ladies’ manner. “I didn’t—”

“No, you wouldn’t have.” She gave him a strangled smile. “What brings you to The Haven, Ben?”

“Um,” he blinked at the sudden switch in conversation. But there was no point in prevaricating. “I’m a peacekeeper with the United Nations in Central Africa. I became part of The Spenser sisters’ campaign to write to soldiers when Tillie’s first letter arrived about seven months ago. In every letter since, she invited me to The Haven. So I came. I’m hoping she can give me some advice. About Mikey.”

“What kind of advice, if you don’t mind me asking?” Victoria leaned forward in her chair, gray eyes widening with curiosity. She had the lush, long lashes his sister-in-law, Alice, had craved.

Alice and Neil. Gone. Ben’s stomach clenched as grief billowed inside him. Only through sheer force of habit honed by peacekeeping could he maintain an implacable expression.

“Are you all right, Major?” Victoria had the kind of voice that revealed what she was thinking. Right now it said she knew he was hiding something and was offering to share his burden. For a moment, Ben was tempted.

But a second look made him doubt the elegant Victoria, with her stylish red turtleneck, chic red leather booties and probably designer jeans, had ever messed up her life. She wouldn’t understand.

“Ben?” Worry now threaded her musical tone. “Doc Mendel said your pain might increase as the shock wears off. Do you have pain?”

Tons, but most isn’t from wrecking the car.

He exhaled. Get it said, man.

“I’m on leave. I was visiting Mikey and his parents, my brother and sister-in-law. They were killed in a home invasion just over two months ago, while Mikey and I were at the zoo.”

“Oh, no,” Victoria gasped and immediately her almond-shaped eyes glossed with tears. “I’m so sorry. Poor you. Poor Mikey.”

“Thanks. Anyway, now I’m his guardian and his godparent.” Would she understand that he had to do the honorable thing for his nephew? “Before I return to my job overseas, I need to find Mikey a family he can live with, parents who will lovingly raise him. I have to make sure he’s safe.”

Silence yawned. Victoria stiffened. After a very long time, she whispered, “You can’t raise him?”

Ben shook his head.

“Because?” She frowned, her wide, full lips tipping down in dismay.

“I’m nobody’s idea of a parent, Victoria,” he said when he could no longer remain silent. “I always fail at responsibility. Look at what happened today.”

“That was an accident,” she defended. “Not poor parenting.”

“No, I should have waited a day. But I’m desperate to figure out a solution. I wanted to get here and talk to Tillie. I thought I could outrun the storm.” Ben’s lips tightened. “That’s proof I’m not who Mikey needs.”

“What does a—what is Mikey—four? What does a four-year-old need?” She lifted her slim hand and ticked off her fingers. “Love, safety, security, a home. You can’t give your nephew that?”

It was a question without innuendo, and yet Ben felt her condemnation to the depth of his soul. But doubts about his parenting ability weren’t easy to purge.

“I don’t think I can. Not properly. Taking care of Mikey is a matter of principle for me. Mikey comes first. Having a soldier for a parent is hardly what a young kid needs.” Ben made a face. “And I do have to work.”

“You can’t find another way?” Victoria made a face. “Not that it’s any of my business.”

“It’s okay,” he sighed. “Believe me, I’ve tried. But I can’t think of how.”

“I see.” She leaned back in her chair, her oval face disapproving. It was clear to Ben that she didn’t see at all.

“I can’t compromise about this, Victoria. Neil wouldn’t want me to. He’d expect me to do my best for Mikey.” A fierce protectiveness swelled inside. “I have to ensure that he’s safe and cared for.”

“Good.” Was that relief on her face? Did she think he didn’t care about his own nephew?

“Mikey’s parents were committed to building their home and a happy family. I have neither to offer. Besides,” he blurted, desperate to erase the fear growing inside, the worry that whatever he decided, he would make a mistake that would hurt his brother’s precious son. “I’m not good with responsibility.”

“Ben, you’re a peacekeeper.” Incredulity filled her voice.

“That’s a job. I’ve been trained to follow orders but someone else makes the decisions. It isn’t the same.” Her face told him he needed to explain. “My mom was sick when I was a kid, Victoria. My dad, well, he wasn’t around much so I was left to raise my brother. Neil was six years younger than me and we had opposite temperaments. I tried my best but—” It hurt to admit it aloud. “I didn’t do right by him. I didn’t know how. And because I failed him, he got into a lot of trouble.”

“Neil blamed you?” Her dark eyebrows rose.

“No.” Ben shook his head. “I blamed me. For not keeping him out of trouble. For not saving him from the whole gang-drug-jail trip. He finally broke free, no thanks to me, but in the end, his past and my failures caught up to him.” How he hated saying this. “The police believe the people who murdered Alice and Neil were cronies from my brother’s drug days, that they wanted money from him to score another hit.”

“Oh, no.” She looked as sad as he felt.

“Yeah. Neil started doing drugs because I demanded too much from him, so that makes his and Alice’s deaths my fault.” Ben almost gagged at the weight of that responsibility. “I might make the same mistake with Mikey and I can’t risk that.”

“You’re not going to,” Victoria shot back. “You’re no longer some young, abandoned kid who’s doing the best he can. You’re an adult. Mikey started life with a stable family, parents who loved him. That’s a whole different situation from Neil’s. And now Mikey has you.”

“No, he doesn’t, because he can’t depend on me.” Ben glanced around the old-fashioned room as the knot inside him grew. “I’m not his father. I don’t have the same knowledge, goals and experiences Neil would have passed on to Mikey. I have no idea how to be the kind of parent Mikey needs. I don’t know anything about fatherhood.”

“Fathers become fathers by learning.” Victoria shrugged. “You can do the same.”

“How? In furloughs? When I’m home for a couple months here and there? I can be sent anywhere at any time, into the worst hot spots. What if I was injured, or even killed?” He shook his head. “Mikey needs stable, full-time secure parents, here, in Canada.”

Ben knew from the way Victoria’s gray eyes turned to ice that she didn’t agree. That’s when he realized that Victoria, adamant in her principles, probably wasn’t going to support his request to her aunts. Fortunately she didn’t have a chance to voice the disapproval currently darkening her eyes because Tillie called them to the table.

With a sigh, Ben forced his focus off his rescuer and rose, gripping the handmade crutch Jake had made. He hobbled to the kitchen table, smothering a moan as his whole body protested. To his chagrin, Victoria’s sisters and the two elderly ladies were already seated, leaving only two chairs unoccupied. When he sat beside Victoria, his arm brushed hers, creating a zip of electricity that made him even more tensely aware of her.

Everyone bowed their head as Margaret said grace. Once conversation flowed around them again Victoria leaned toward him.

“It won’t make you less of a soldier to swallow a second painkiller, Major,” she whispered. She poured him a glass of water then nodded at a small white pill sitting next to his knife.

Ben craved relief from the twinges that plagued him so he swallowed the tablet, hoping it wouldn’t totally dull his senses because he had a hunch he was going to need his wits about him where this strong woman was concerned.

And yet, there was something else about Victoria—a vulnerability? Silly to say that about a woman who scaled mountains and rescued people. Yet Ben glimpsed a certain wistfulness in the tender brush of her hand against Mikey’s head and the gentle way she teased him. Both belied a soft heart underneath the tough exterior she projected. He liked her pluck.

But Ben wasn’t looking for a relationship. In fact, he never wanted to get involved, never wanted the obligation of caring for and probably failing a wife and family. He didn’t want the responsibility of wrecking another young life. That’s why he had to figure out Mikey’s situation. His nephew’s future was too precious to ruin, as he’d ruined Neil’s.

As he ate, Ben struggled to stifle his growing interest in Victoria Archer. Maybe he didn’t want to be, but he was very interested in this competent woman and why she’d been so insistent that Ben be Mikey’s father.

He also wondered how long she’d be staying here, at The Haven, in the middle of nowhere. She was young, obviously hip and unmarried, judging by her bare ring finger. Her affection for the elderly sisters was obvious, her manner with them protective.

Though she seemed at home here at The Haven, Ben didn’t get the feeling that Victoria lived here full-time. Or hadn’t until recently. Comments from her sisters and her aunts about finally coming home made him want to know more about her.

When Mikey burst out bawling because the apple crisp dessert reminded him of his mom, Victoria didn’t try to change the subject or avoid the topic. Instead she wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders and encouraged more memories. Within minutes, she had his nephew giggling as she tried to demonstrate his description of butterfly kisses.

Suddenly Ben hoped it would take Tillie and Margaret a while to find Mikey a family, long enough for him to figure out what made Victoria’s gray eyes turn to soot when she didn’t think anyone was watching.

Chapter Two

“Oh. You’re still up.”

Victoria paused in the doorway of the biggest room at The Haven, which was also the only one with a lit fireplace. Tillie and Margaret called this room The Salon but she’d always known it as their family room, the place where they’d shared their lives. Now it was occupied by their visitor.

“Couldn’t sleep. Probably because I ate too much of your sister’s delicious chicken pie.” Firelight flickered across Ben, seated in Margaret’s wingback chair in front of the fire, with Tillie’s lurid purple-and-green afghan covering his legs. “What’s that?”

“Hot chocolate. Want some?” Victoria didn’t want to share with him. In fact, she wished he’d stayed in his room. She wanted to be alone, to think things through, to figure out her next step. But she couldn’t think with Ben nearby because his searching blue eyes made her nervous, fidgety.

Still, he was a guest and the aunts’ lessons on hospitality had been deeply engrained in her.

“I’ll get another cup.”

“Don’t bother,” he called as Victoria scurried away like the frightened mouse she felt but didn’t want anyone to see.

She drew a deep breath for control, patted her unsettled stomach, wondering if morning sickness could also be evening sickness and if its cause now was that her baby knew his mother didn’t have a job now, or even a next step planned. Grimacing, she grabbed another mug and returned.

“No bother. There’s more in that carafe than I can drink anyway.” She filled his mug and set it on the round table, near his elbow. She added another log to the fire before sinking into Tillie’s chair and cuddling her own cup while her brain scrambled for a topic of conversation. Ben beat her to it.

“Are there a lot of fireplaces in this house?” His gaze slid from the river-stone chimney to the massive fir mantel and granite-slab hearth.

“Yes. The Haven was built to be self-sufficient. Thankfully there’s enough deadwood on the property to fuel the fireplaces.” She loved this sagging, worn chair, not for the comfort it offered but for the memories it evoked. “Tom and Jerry were very smart men.”

“Tom and Jerry being?” Ben studied her, one eyebrow arched in an inquisitive expression.

“How long has Aunt Tillie been writing you?” Victoria couldn’t believe he hadn’t heard the whole story already.

“Just over seven months. Why?”

“My aunts started writing letters to military personnel more than twenty years ago when they joined the local Legion. A former colonel suggested those who protect and serve our country might need someone to talk to and since the aunts missed their missionary work, they wrote.” Victoria smiled at the memories of all the service men and women who’d visited The Haven during her teen years. Could she give her child such good memories?

“That’s a lot of letters,” Ben murmured.

“After a couple of years, the aunts developed a format. They usually give some personal history within the first two or three letters. Did they do that with you?” When he shook his head, she inhaled before explaining. “So how did you make contact with Aunt Tillie?”

“She wrote to me, said she was praying for Africa and my name was on the list of servicemen serving there. She asked if I had any special requests. Some of my buddies said I should write back.” Ben smiled. “Tillie was the one who led me to God. So what’s the history of The Haven?”

“That’s a long story. It starts with brothers, Tom and Jerry Havenston, hence The Haven. Tillie and Margaret were nurses and met the two when they were visiting Chokecherry Hollow. The aunts fell in love with the brothers. The four wanted to be married, but the ladies had already promised to go as missionaries to what was then Rhodesia.”

“So I guess the brothers planned to go, too?” Ben asked.

“Yes, but Jerry contracted scarlet fever. Tillie and Margaret delayed their departure to nurse him at a friend’s home but his recovery was very slow.” As usual, Victoria felt a rush of sympathy for the two couples.

“I’m listening,” Ben encouraged.

“The missions’ society sponsoring the aunts kept pressing them to leave to replace other missionaries due to return to Canada. Jerry and Tom did, too. They wanted the sisters to keep their commitment to the society.”

“Why?” Ben frowned.

“Because as the sons of missionaries who’d served in Africa, Tom and Jerry knew what the mission meant to the Africans. They insisted the aunts shouldn’t break their promise to the society,” Victoria explained.

“Strong men.” Ben sounded approving.

“Very. Anyway, Tillie and Margaret left believing their fiancés would join them later. They were in Africa four months before they learned Tom had had a heart attack rendering him unable to travel. The aunts prepared to return, but the men telegrammed begging them to stay. The men had heard rumors that if left understaffed, the government would probably close the sisters’ Rhodesian mission. They did not want Tillie and Margaret to alter what they believed was God’s will.”

“So they stayed here and built The Haven,” Ben guessed.

“You’re jumping way ahead,” Victoria protested.

“Missionaries get furloughs, don’t they?” Ben asked.

“Yes. A month after Tillie and Margaret returned to Canada, Tom had a second heart attack. And another after that. Everyone feared he’d die.” Victoria could hardly bear to think of her aunts’ distress. “Aunt Tillie told me she and Margaret took turns nursing him until he slowly recovered. The aunts returned to Rhodesia after Tom and Jerry agreed they’d follow when possible. Again they made plans to marry.”

“Even fifty years ago, it must have taken a fortune to buy all the land and build The Haven.” Ben frowned. “The aunts gave up a comfy life.”

“Oh, the brothers weren’t wealthy at first. In fact, they supported their widowed and ailing sister and her two children.” Victoria smiled. “It took years before they became successful. But I digress.”

“They couldn’t go to Africa,” Ben guessed.

“No, because their sister died, leaving them guardians of her daughters. Both were sickly. Tom and Jerry eventually realized that their own poor health would never allow them to travel to Africa.” Victoria saw empathy flash across his face.

“Just shows how our plans can change in an instant,” he murmured.

Boy, did Victoria know about that. She’d never planned to be a single mother.

“Go on.” Ben leaned forward in his eagerness to hear the story. She liked that he was so interested in the aunts’ history.

“Well, after much prayer, the men decided God had planned a different future for them. They raised their nieces in the fresh mountain air, which seemed to help their unhealthy lungs,” she said.

“And then?”

“Tom and Jerry invented a medical item that helped hospitals enormously and made them wealthy. They bought acres of land and built this house, a home for their nieces and for Tillie and Margaret when they finally returned to Canada for good.” She waved a hand. “Tom and Jerry lovingly thought out every detail of The Haven. They were amazing men who truly loved the aunts.”

“But Tillie’s always signed her letters Miss.” Ben’s blue-eyed gaze studied her. “Didn’t they marry after all?”

“I have to tell it in sequence, Ben,” Victoria chided. “The nieces contracted polio and never recovered, dying just weeks before the aunts finally returned here. After a period of mourning, the four again planned their long-anticipated weddings.” Victoria paused in the sad tale, then added, “Tom and Jerry went on a bachelor hiking trip through their beloved mountains three days before the weddings. They were fatally shot by illegal poachers.”

“Oh, no. After all that waiting.” She liked that Ben seemed genuinely moved. Proved he was nothing like stone-cold Derek who felt nothing for his own child. “It must have been hard to accept that, after all their sacrifice, God didn’t give the sisters their own happy ending.”

“Didn’t He?” Victoria tried not to smile, relieved Tillie and Margaret hadn’t heard that. “Tom and Jerry left their fortunes and The Haven to the sisters to, as they put it, continue their missionary work. So the aunts got busy being missionaries in their community.”

She stretched her neck, suddenly weary. This motherhood thing was taxing.

“That wasn’t enough,” Ben guessed.

“The colonel I mentioned earlier? He knew someone who agreed to provide them with the names of troops they could write to. And thus began the sisters’ letter-writing ministry.”

“Amazing story. Bad turned to blessings.” Ben nodded. “A lot of men in my unit really look forward to the ladies’ letters, you know. I’m one of them. I’ve also heard how they often have veterans visiting here.”

“They often do, but there’s a lot more to my aunties than that.” Victoria grinned.

“Meaning?”

Of course she wouldn’t tell Ben the whole truth about herself, but she did want him to realize how important Tillie and Margaret were in so many lives.

“You met my sisters Adele and Olivia at dinner tonight though I doubt much sunk in. You were hurting pretty badly.”

“I’m sorry I had such poor manners,” Ben said, looking embarrassed.

“They understood. They’re used to hurting people showing up here. All of us are. We were some of them once.” She chuckled at his confused look. “Let me explain. When I was ten and my sisters a bit younger—by the way, we have a fourth foster sister, Gemma. Anyway, we four girls were troublemakers headed down a bad road. We all had the same caseworker and she wanted us away from the gang we were about to join. So she asked the aunts to fund trips to camp for all four of us.”

“You liked it there?” Ben asked.

“We four girls had never met before but being bad apples, we banded together and caused no end of problems in that camp.” How she regretted that.

“I find it hard to believe you were a troublemaker, Victoria.” He frowned.

“Believe it. The camp wanted us gone. In desperation, our caseworker contacted her friends Tillie and Margaret again and, ignoring their ages, asked them to take all four of us for three months. No one else would touch us for a week, so asking for three months was asking a lot.”

“You’re kidding.” Ben’s gaping stare made her smile.

“Not at all. We were all experienced foster brats. We’d all learned how to fool everyone. Except once we got to The Haven, we couldn’t fool Tillie and Margaret.” She chuckled at the memory of their pranks. “Short story—we four girls grew up here with abundant love demonstrated every day. The service men and women the aunts host here made a big impact on us. So did the aunts’ offers to accommodate countless local programs for various charity groups. We grew up seeing missionaries in action.”

“So Tom and Jerry’s Haven has truly become a haven for a lot of people.” Ben’s blue eyes stretched wide. “Quite a story.”

“It is.” Victoria sipped her cocoa thoughtfully. “But I don’t know how much longer that can continue.”

“What do you mean?” Ben’s forehead furrowed. “Are Tillie and Margaret broke?”

“Oh, no. Tom and Jerry invested very wisely.” Victoria exhaled. “It’s more to do with aging. We four girls moved out, pursued careers, got on with our lives. But the aunts are still here, much older and virtually alone, except for Jake, and he can’t run the place alone forever, though he’d argue otherwise.”

“So Tillie and Margaret have to leave The Haven?” Ben asked quietly.

“Not without a struggle.” Victoria grimaced. “Since I’m home for a while, I’m hoping to figure out a way for them to stay a little longer. If Aunt Maggie hasn’t already beaten me to it,” she added darkly.

“What does that mean?”

Victoria bit her lip.

“You don’t want to tell me?” he prodded.

“It’s not that. It’s—my aunts get a lot of ideas.” Sitting here in the twilight, talking with Ben—it wasn’t as bad as Victoria had expected. In fact, maybe he’d have some thoughts on how to keep the aunts in their home. “Some of their ideas are, well, let’s call them outlandish.”

“I see.” Ben’s intense stare made her nervous. And yet it was also somehow comforting to talk out her fears. She certainly couldn’t have done it with Derek. At least Ben didn’t try to make her feel silly or stupid.

“The thing is, even their most bizarre ideas often work. Eventually,” she mumbled, wishing her usual proficiency with fixing things hadn’t suddenly deserted her.

“You think your aunts have a plan for how they can stay here?” Ben asked.