A Father in the Making

“Look, someone is at the window,” Nate called out.

It was Angie, waving. She was probably trapped.

“The trucks are out of town. They won’t be here for another ten minutes,” Jeff called out. “Someone get an extension ladder from the hardware store.”

A tall man broke away from the group that had gathered and ran down the street.

“By the time he gets the ladder out, it’s going to be too late,” Mia called out.

“We’ll have to go in up the stairs at the back,” Jeff said.

“I’m coming with you,” Nate said. “I’ve worked as a volunteer firefighter.”

“You listen to me and do exactly what I say,” Jeff warned, his voice stern.

Then without another word, Jeff dashed across the street then ducked into the gap between the buildings to get to the alley, Nate right behind him.

“Make sure she doesn’t go anywhere,” Nate said to Denny, then ran across the street after Jeff.

Mia pulled at Denny’s hands that held her arms like a vise. “I need to go and help them,” she called out. “I know how to get in.”

But Denny pulled Mia back again as the ominous sound of fire crackling battled with the growing wail of sirens.

But it was only a police car that came down Main Street.

“The fire trucks aren’t coming,” Mia sobbed, pulling ineffectually at Denny’s hands. She stared up at Angie’s panicked figure in the window. “They won’t get here in time.”

Then Angie disappeared and Mia’s heart turned to ice.

She couldn’t watch, but she couldn’t look away, thoughts, fears and half-formed images seething and twisting through her tortured mind.

The policemen got out and moved the gathering crowd back.

Mia’s entire attention was on the building and the smoke billowing out of it now. After what seemed to be hours, the fire trucks finally showed up at the end of the street, the men piling out in a flurry of activity, their bulky suits and reflective tape flashing in the failing sunlight.

“Stay here, Mia. Evangeline, you make her stay,” Denny warned as he ran toward the firefighters calling out that there were people in the building yet. One of the firefighters spoke with him while others donned masks and hooked tanks over their bulky coats. There were still more who worked in a rhythm, laying out the hoses, hooking them to the nearest fire hydrant. Instructions were called out, verified as the men with masks grabbed their axes and entered the front of the store.

Then, with a whistle of steam, water was poured onto the building and into the open window. Then more sirens as ambulances came, blue-and-red lights strobing through the smoke and gathering dusk.

Neither Evangeline nor Denny spoke as the drama unfolded in front of them, but Mia felt their hands on her, holding her back, yet at the same time, comforting her.

“Dear Lord, please keep Jeff and Nate safe. Help them to get Angie, Nico and Josh out of the store,” she heard Evangeline praying aloud.

Mia couldn’t pray, her gaze stuck on the building. The brick facade was now charred with smoke and dripping with water as the flames momentarily retreated. Where were the boys? Jeff? Nate? Time ceased as her world narrowed down to the building with smoke pouring out of the windows, the shouts of the firemen, the drone of water pumps, the hiss of flames being extinguished and the cries of the onlookers now gathered along the street.

Then another wave of noise caught her attention. It came from a side avenue. People shouting. Cheering.

Then she saw them.

Jeff, limping as he carried Josh, supported by Angie.

And behind him, Nate holding Nico close, his head tucked against his neck.

Mia ran toward them, her heart threatening to burst in her chest.

“Josh. Nico.” She reached out her arms to take them. But just as she got close, EMT personnel came between her and her boys, taking them from Jeff and Nate and escorting Angie to the ambulance.

“Those are my boys,” she called out, desperate to find out how they were.

“They’re okay.” Nate came up beside her, reeking of smoke, his face smeared with soot. She caught at him, her fingers digging into his arm.

“Are you sure? Are you sure?”

Nate looked down at her, then gave her a tentative smile. “We managed to get them out before the fire got too intense.”

Her legs gave out as the reaction sank in. Nate caught her before she fell. “C’mon, let’s go see how your boys are,” he said, slipping his arm around her shoulder and holding her up. Together they walked to the ambulance, him supporting her, her entire attention focused like a laser on the back of the ambulance.

Yet, at the same time, she was filled with gratitude for the man holding her up. The man who had rescued her sons.

* * *

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Denny held Nate’s gaze with an intensity Nate tried to ignore. It only reminded him of how close he and Jeff had cut things getting Angie, Nico and Josh out of the building.

“The paramedic said I’m fine, so I’ll take his word for that.” Nate leaned forward in the hard plastic chair of the hospital waiting room, and subconsciously tapped his foot on the shining surface floor. The sharp, antiseptic smell of the hospital brought back memories he thought he’d buried. Spent too much time here as a kid.

“You should never have run into that building, you know,” Denny said.

“I had training,” Nate protested, fighting the urge to get up and pace. “That other guy, Jeff, he couldn’t get two kids and that woman out on his own. If we had waited till the fire department showed up, it might have been too late.”

He didn’t want to let his mind go too far down that road. In spite of his work as a volunteer fireman, he knew he would be reliving that harrowing search for months to come. The heat of the floor in Mia’s apartment. The horror that gripped him when he made it to the bed and didn’t find the little boy in it as Angie had said. His panicked sweep of the room only to find the little boy huddled in a closet, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Denny sat back in his chair and gave him a smile. “You’re quite something, little brother. But you should let the doctor check you over.”

“I’m fine. I just want to make sure that kid, Nico, is okay.” The boy had scared him. When Nate pulled him out of the closet, he’d gone limp and Nate had to drag him out of the room and back down the stairs.

“Is Evangeline okay with taking care of those baby girls?” He wanted to talk about something else.

“Yeah. She’s used to handling babies after little Ella came into our lives a couple of months ago.”

“Hey, I was sorry to hear about your ex-wife’s death,” Nate said, a note of sympathy in his voice.

“It took some adjusting. Especially since Lila’s sister dropped that bomb the same time she dropped Ella off on my doorstep because she didn’t want to take care of her anymore.”

“I still can’t believe I’ve got a two-year-old niece,” Nate said, letting a smile curve his lips. “And you’re getting married again in a couple of months.”

“I can’t believe it, either, but I have to say, I highly recommend it.”

Nate just snorted. “Being single is better for a guy like me. Less chance to get hurt.” He stopped himself there. Denny always made him say more than he wanted.

He remembered coming to the Norquest ranch a young, angry boy of twelve, abused by his stepfather. Denny’s family worked his way past the defenses Nate had spent the first twelve years of his life erecting.

The Norquests surrounded him with love and laughter and gave him a vision of a life that was good. Olivia, Trista and Adrianna teased him the same way they teased Denny. Steve and Donna Norquest treated him like their own. After two years of living with them he started calling them Mom and Dad.

Then, when Denny was seventeen, they died in a small plane crash, reinforcing the one belief he had clung to since his mother left him with an abusive stepfather.

Letting people into your life hurt.

“You’ll change your mind someday,” Denny said with a conviction that created a tinge of frustration in Nate.

But Nate preferred to keep his comments to himself.

Evangeline came toward them pushing the baby stroller and gave them both a quick smile. “I’ll keep moving,” she whispered as she passed them. “The girls are sleeping. I just called Olivia and she said she would stay until we came back.”

Denny nodded and leaned back, seemingly content to just sit.

Nate envied him his composure. He couldn’t sit still. Too much had happened too quickly. He was still processing his accident and now this?

He tapped his fingers together and blew out his breath, feeling as if the walls closed in on him.

“What is taking so long?”

“You can go back to the ranch if you want,” Denny said. “Check on your horses. See how Olivia is doing.”

Nate shook his head. “No. I want to see this through. Do you want something to drink? I’m dry as dust.”

“No, thanks, but you go ahead. Do you need change?” he asked, already reaching for his wallet.

“Thanks. I’m good.” Nate had to smile at the offer. Denny was always slipping him money when Nate blew through his allowance sooner than he was supposed to. Always looking out for him. Still looking out for him.

Nate walked down the hall to the vending machine and made his choice, but when he pulled his wallet out to slip the money in he was disappointed to see his fingers trembling.

Aftershock, he reminded himself. The paramedic told him to watch out for it and to go to the hospital if it got too bad.

As if. He had spent enough of his life in a hospital; he wasn’t going to deliberately check into one on his own. He grabbed the bottle of juice when it dropped into the bin. He twisted the top off and chugged half the bottle down as his mind, unwilling, returned to the thick, choking smoke curling up from the building. The panic that seized him when he saw the flames licking up the side of the wall as he and Jeff pulled open the door to the apartment, dropped to the floor and started crawling. The fear that clutched at him when he didn’t find the little boy in his bed.

He stopped by the windows overlooking the town as he walked back to the waiting room, pushing the memories down. Hartley Creek seemed like a good place to stay awhile if he had to stay anywhere. Denny was here. Olivia, too. And it sounded like the other sisters might be popping in from time to time.

Nate let a hint of a smile play over his lips. He had missed Denny and the girls more than he wanted to admit. The past three years had been tiring and taxing and draining. Too much time on the road. Too many competitions. Too much juggling to find places for his horses to stay on the off-season. Right now he had two mares that had just foaled, boarded at a friend’s place. One of these days he knew he had to find a permanent home.

But the thought of settling down, putting down roots, creating the potential for loss...

He shook off that thought, took another swig of juice and started back down the hallway. Then stopped as another fit of coughing seized him. Unable to walk through it he rested his hand against the wall, doubled over. When he was done, his chest felt as if someone had doused his lungs with acid. He took a few more slow breaths, carefully sucking air into his raw throat. It would be okay, he reminded himself.

Then, as he looked up, he saw Mia standing by the entrance to the emergency department, her arms wrapped tightly around her oldest boy. She was looking directly at him.

For a moment he felt it again. The initial shot of attraction he had experienced when he first saw her in Evangeline’s bookstore. The attraction that had been doused when he found out that she had children. A family.

But in spite of that, he easily remembered how she leaned into him as they walked toward the ambulance. How, for a moment, it felt nice to be needed.

He pushed that reaction down. He had his own stuff to deal with and no room for a woman in his life. Especially not a woman who needed more than he could possibly give.

“Where are Evangeline and Denny?” he asked her as he came around the corner to see the waiting room vacated.

“The girls just woke up when I got back here. One needed something to eat, the other, a clean diaper. So they’re taking care of it.”

He sensed, from the strained note in her voice that she didn’t feel right about that situation. She seemed like a person that had a hard time accepting help.

“So how are the boys?” he asked. “What did the doctor say?”

She took a breath then pushed her hand through her short hair in a nervous gesture. “Josh is good,” she said, rubbing her hand up and down the arm of the older boy standing beside her. His dark hair was pasted down on one side and while his face was clean, his hands were still streaked with black, as were his clothes. Mia fingered Josh’s hair away from his face in a vain attempt to neaten it, her fingers trembling. “You’re going to need a bath when we get home, buddy....” Mia’s sentence trailed off and Nate realized she no longer had a home to go back to.

“How is Nico?” Nate asked.

Mia gave him a curious look, as if wondering about his concern. “Dr. Brouwer is checking a few more things out. How was he when you took him out of the building?”

“Scared. Panicky. He hung on to me like a little monkey. But I don’t think anything was broken or burned.”

Mia pressed her lips together as she took a slow, trembling breath. “I can’t begin to thank you for...for what you did. You saved my son’s life.”

She gave him a wavery smile and Nate had to resist the urge to slip his arm around her shoulder and support her. But he caught himself in time.

He had nothing to give a woman like her. She needed someone stable, strong. Someone who could be a father to her kids.

Instead, he turned to Josh, feeling a rush of empathy. Hospitals could be intimidating and scary places. Nate crouched down, balancing on the balls of his feet, his hands dangling between his knees. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

Josh gave him a smile that echoed his mother’s. Trying to be brave. “I was scared in the fire,” the six-year-old said. “And then I saw Mr. Deptuck and he got me and Angie out.” His lower lip trembled and Nate guessed he would have a few bad dreams the next while.

Nate put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. “You’ll be just fine, champ.”

He straightened and caught Mia’s gaze, her eyes holding a stark look, a direct contrast to the forced smile that held her mouth captive.

She was trying so hard to be brave, he thought. Brave for her son.

“And Jeff?” he asked.

“I’m not sure.” She shot him a frown. “Are you sure you shouldn’t see the doctor, as well?”

The concern in her voice created a flicker of warmth, but he waved off her suggestion. “I’m fine. Throat’s sore, but I’m okay.”

She looked at him like she didn’t believe him and for a moment, he found he couldn’t look away.

Stop this, he warned himself. Don’t do this.

Then he heard the sound of a baby’s whimper and he spun around. Denny and Evangeline returned with the girls. Both babies rubbed their eyes, their cheeks flaming pink.

“Oh, girlies,” Mia said, reaching out for one of them. “You are exhausted.”

Evangeline released the one baby to her and Mia held her close, tucking her little baby’s head against her neck and rocking her. She had been through a lot and was still giving her babies comfort.

A loving mother.

“So we need to figure out what to do with you and the kids,” Evangeline said, her voice taking on a brisk, no-nonsense tone. “Denny and I think you should come back to the ranch with us.”

“I can leave if you need the space,” Nate said.

“No. Your horse is in no shape to travel,” Denny replied. “We got it figured. Evangeline can’t go back to her apartment above the store until things are cleaned up so Mia, Evangeline and the kids can move into the house with Olivia. Me and you get the trailer,” he said to Nate.

Nate wanted to protest, but knew he wasn’t in any position to. His horses needed to recuperate and he needed to be close to them. The foals the mares carried were part of his stake for a new venture he hoped to set up someday. When he was ready to settle.

“So, Mia, it’s decided,” Denny said with what sounded to Nate like a forced heartiness.

“I don’t know,” Mia said, glancing over her shoulder to the examining rooms. “I don’t want to put you out. I could stay with my mother and father.”

Seemed like she didn’t want to stay on the ranch any more than he did, Nate thought.

“Your parents live in a minuscule apartment in Nelson,” Evangeline said. “You can’t go there with four kids.”

Mia sighed and closed her eyes as if she still wasn’t sure what to do.

“Just come for the next couple of nights,” Evangeline said, slipping her arm around her friend’s shoulders. “Don’t think too far ahead.”

Mia nodded and released a sigh. Denny rocked the other baby watching both of them with a fatherly look.

Nate stood on the edge of the group feeling like the outsider he was.

Then the curtain dividing the waiting area from the emergency department swished aside and the doctor stood in the entrance, motioning for Mia to come.

And he wasn’t smiling.

Chapter Three

“So you’re saying he can’t talk because of the trauma he experienced?” Mia rubbed her index finger over her chin in a nervous gesture. Nico lay on the hospital bed, looking small and helpless, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. His brown hair was tangled and messy and his eyes red and bloodshot from the smoke.

“Physically, he’s fine. For that we can be thankful.” Dr. Brouwer looked over at Shannon, the Emergency Department nurse, who was also his wife. “Do you mind watching Nico for a moment?”

Shannon nodded, then gave Mia a comforting pat on her shoulder.

As Mia followed Dr. Brouwer out of the cubicle she shot another quick look at her son, but Nico kept looking up as if trying to find something on the ceiling.

As Ben Brouwer closed the door of an empty examining room behind them, he gave her a tentative smile that made her even more wary. “We’ve done all we can for Nico,” he said, folding his arms and resting his hips against the door behind him. “The fact that he’s not talking is not connected to anything physical. It’s often called Selective Mutism. Sometimes that term applies to shy children, children who will speak at home, but not in public, or in Nico’s case, children who won’t speak after a stressful trauma. A counselor can properly diagnose this.”

“So he might not talk again?”

“The mutism is generally temporary, but because it’s psychological rather than physical we have no way of knowing how long it will last.”

“So why is Josh okay?”

“Each child is different. Stress manifests differently in them. It might be Nico’s way of controlling a world that, a few moments ago, fell apart for him in a dramatic and traumatic way. I would highly recommend seeing a counselor. I can set up an appointment with a Dr. Schuler in Cranbrook if you want.”

Mia nodded. “Please. I want Nico to get help as soon as possible. And what do I do for him until then?”

“Give him peace and quiet. Return as much as possible to some type of routine. And don’t pressure him to speak.”

Peace and quiet. Mia could do with some peace herself, she thought, rubbing her chin again.

“Do you and your children have a place to stay?” Dr. Brouwer continued, his deep voice soothing. A good doctor’s voice, Mia thought. “I understand from the paramedics that your apartment is unlivable.”

She and her children had no place to return to. They had nothing but what they wore.

“Evangeline and Denny have offered us a place on the ranch,” she managed to say.

But she wasn’t sure she wanted to stay there. Nate created emotions a mother of four children had no right to feel. Emotions she didn’t dare let in her life again.

“I suggest you take the offer. Moving Nico away from town and away from the physical reminder of what he has just been through would be a good solution.”

Mia massaged her forehead, the headache that had hovered at the back of her eyes all day now increasing. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and retreat from thinking and planning.

Only her bed was probably a charred hulk.

Please, Lord, help me not to cry. Help me to focus on Nico. Please be with my little boy. Help me to get through all of this.

“I don’t have a choice,” she said quietly, her voice trembling in spite of her prayer. She waited a moment to compose herself then looked up at Dr. Brouwer. “Thanks so much for your time and your care. How is Jeff Deptuck?”

“He’s okay. Some smoke inhalation but he’ll be fine. Angie is with him now.”

In spite of the circumstances Mia had to smile. Jeff had had a crush on Angie from the moment he met her. Every book club meeting he would alternately tease or flirt with her and for the most part, she seemed oblivious.

Guess it took rescuing her from a burning building to finally get her to notice him.

Just then another one of the ED nurses came to the doorway asking for him, and Dr. Brouwer pushed away from the examining room table. “Bring Nico and Josh to the office next week for a follow-up. Hopefully Nico will be back to his usual, chatty four-year-old self by then.”

“I hope so,” Mia replied. “Thanks again for all your help.”

He laid a light hand on her shoulder. “You take care of yourself, as well, okay?”

Her only reply was a quick nod and then she followed him out of the room and back to the cubicle where Nico now sat, buttoning up his shirt. He looked up at her, then back down, his face still showing no expression.

“He told me he wanted to do it himself,” Shannon said, giving Mia a quick smile.

“He talked to you?”

Shannon looked over at Nate, her expression holding a tinge of sadness. “He got his point across.”

Mia’s heart folded in on itself and she walked over to her boy, who looked so small on the large bed, and gave him a tight hug. “I love you, Nico,” she murmured, resting her chin on his head. He still smelled like smoke. He needed a bath.

He leaned into her for the tiniest of moments, then pulled away, his fingers working at the stubborn buttons. Mia had to ball her hands into fists, so strong was the urge to help him.

When he was done she helped him off the bed. He clung to her hand and she squeezed tightly, trying to convey through her fingers as well as her words that she was there for him.

Then together, they walked down the hall toward the waiting room. The first person she saw was Nate, who got to his feet. He was still here, was the first thought that sang through her.

You shouldn’t even be allowing him the tiniest space in your mind, was the one that followed on its heels.

“How is he?” Nate asked, holding her gaze for a heartbeat longer than he had to.

“The doctor said he’d be okay. We just need to come in next week for a follow-up, right, Nico?”

But Nico didn’t acknowledge either by action or by word that he had heard what she said. He pulled free from her and ran directly to Nate and clung to him, burying his head against Nate’s arm.

Nate looked from Nico to Mia and back to the little boy again, as if unsure of what to do.

“Nico, honey.” Mia tried to lift the little boy into her arms, but Nico pushed her away. His shoulders shook, like he was crying. But he didn’t make a sound.

Nico’s hands scrabbled at Nate and finally Nate shifted himself around and hauled the little boy onto his lap. He patted him on the shoulder but Mia noticed that he was genuinely uncomfortable.

“It’s okay,” he muttered to the little boy, looking from him to Mia. “It will be okay.”

Finally, after a long, uneasy moment, Nico’s shoulders stopped shaking and he lifted his head. He looked directly into Nate’s eyes, as if trying to find something there.