My Sexiest Mistake

“Talk to me, Ryan.”

She unclenched her jaw and forced her face to move. “Sure. I’m fine,” she said tonelessly. “Just surprised.”

“Hey, at least you got some good material for the scene, right?”

“Helene, skip the bright-side stuff. I have to go now.”

“Don’t do anything drastic,” Helene put in hastily.

“I won’t. But if I wind up in jail, bail me out, okay?”

Ryan hung up, waiting for the roaring in her ears to go away. She fumbled in her purse until she found the phone number Cade had given her the night before, she started to dial the digits, then stopped. Her desk clock ticked the seconds away and she sprang up to pace. It wasn’t enough. Reading him the riot act over the phone was not enough to pay him back for what he’d done. For this, she needed to see him in person.

She stopped and stared out the window, remembering the feel of his hands on her, the promise of his naked body. Anger and desire warred in her. Tonight they would be together. No matter who he was, no matter what game he was playing, she couldn’t give up the chance to be with him one more time. If she told him off now, she’d be the loser. She’d gotten her lovers through much of the scene, but was missing the final climactic moments.

Which didn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that she’d be missing the final climactic moments. After all these years without touching anyone, how could she really walk away from finally, completely knowing what it was like? From having him inside her? All she had to do was show up tonight and he would be kissing her, making love with her, taking her to the edge and beyond. Ryan rolled her forehead against the glass.

She had to feel his hands on her again, but how could she let him get away with what he’d done? The anger flowed back afresh and Ryan shook her head. He needed to learn a lesson about honesty and taking advantage of people. He needed to learn a lesson, but she needed to make love with him.

There had to be a way she could have both.

She stared out to the street and raked back her hair with her fingers. And then she blinked. Slowly, slowly a smile crept over her face as the beginnings of a plan took shape in her mind. Oh yes, she thought, there was definitely a way she could have both. Walking back to her desk, she signed her computer onto the Internet. It was time for a little research. This needed a personal touch.

By the time she talked with Cade an hour later, her plans were in place.

HE HAD TO COME CLEAN, that was all there was to it. Cade stared out the windows of his office for the hundredth time that day. Hearing her voice on his cell phone had brought the previous night back to him in Technicolor. He hadn’t realized how sterile and empty his life had become until he’d held her against him. Now everything felt different. Now all he could think of was Ryan in his arms like a column of flame.

The current situation, though, was a disaster waiting to happen. If there was anything he’d learned in his life, it was that the truth was the only way to go. He’d seen where the lies got you.

He’d grown up in L.A. with a father who worshipped the art of the deal and beautiful women, pretty much in that order. Cade and his mother had come in a distant third. Unfortunately, Cade’s father wasn’t nearly as good at lying as he was at cutting deals to finance feature films or high-rise office buildings. By the time Cade was eleven, his parents were in the midst of an acrimonious divorce. One hadn’t been enough for his father, though. With monotonous regularity, every four or five years the man got hooked enough on one or another of his mistresses to marry again. In a year, sometimes two, the shine would wear off and they’d divorce.

Infatuation didn’t last. After seeing his father go through wives two through four, he should have known that. Some lessons, though, you couldn’t learn by observation. Nope, Cade had had to find out himself with Alyssa. It was true love, he’d been sure of it. He was going to show his parents how a marriage was supposed to be. Except that when the flush of infatuation had faded, there’d been nothing left. “Chip off the old block,” his father had said when Cade had told him about the divorce. Christ, he’d hated him for that. In a way, though, he’d been right. Some people were cut out for it and some people weren’t.

Cade sighed. Maybe he wasn’t set up for happily ever after, but he could do with some more of Ryan’s company. The problem was how to salvage the situation. He’d botched things up the night before. He should just have told her the truth and tried to worm loose her phone number so he could see her later. Sleeping with her had been a big mistake. Unbidden, a smile stretched over his face. Huge mistake, and boy was he glad he’d made it.

So what now? Calling her up and telling her the truth wouldn’t do it. The only thing to do was to show up and be honest with her. If he put his mind to it, he was pretty sure he could bring her around sooner or later. He had to come clean with her, though. He owed it to her.

He owed it to himself.

RYAN STARED OUT THE window of her room at the Beacon Hill Hotel, watching night fall. Stepping into the room was like stepping onto a movie set for a turn-of-the-century bordello. Cade Douglas had a few surprises coming to him, she thought as she rose to open the bottle of wine that sat on the impeccable cherry wood vanity table. Of course, she thought, pouring herself a glass, if all else failed she could just brain him with the antique porcelain ewer.

Moving around the room, she lit candles. Roses and mums perfumed the air. A tufted brocade chaise longue sat in front of the window, bearing an ornate, tasseled pillow perfect for cushioning milady’s head. With sheer hangings draped over the canopy of the lace-covered, four-poster bed, it was a scene for romance and seduction.

Time for her to get in costume.

The knock on the door came as she was spritzing on perfume. She tried to ignore the quick surge of adrenaline, equal parts fury and desire, and walked over to the entry hall.

It was unfair that anyone should look that good, she thought, peering through the peephole. He stood there in a dove-gray suit, the indigo of his shirt bringing out the blue in his eyes. His hair looked black under the gas-lamp-style sconces in the hall. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.

The words he’d planned to say died on his lips. She stood in a black lace merry widow, garters stretching down to silky hose, eyes challenging him to take her on. A red silk dressing gown swirled over the lace and matched the spike-heeled pumps she wore. Her dark hair tumbled down over her shoulders. Her mouth was an irresistible temptation. He stepped inside and she flowed into his arms.

She’d remember why she was furious with him in a minute, Ryan thought hazily as she sank into the kiss. Desire flowed around her thick and sweet, and she lost long minutes to the feel of his arms around her, the taste, the dark honey taste of his mouth. She barely heard the door swing shut behind them, enclosing them in the candlelit room.

Cade pressed his lips to her neck. “I’ve thought about this all day,” he murmured, sampling her skin.

Ryan broke loose first, breathing hard. She looked at him, eyes heavy-lidded. “I wasn’t sure if you’d forget again this time, so I planned ahead,” she said, glancing at a handful of condoms on the bedside table.

“Wouldn’t do to disappoint a lady.” Swiftly, he pulled her to him, running his hands down her body, over the curves beneath the lace. “Or myself.”

Ryan ran her fingers through his hair. It felt glorious, but it wouldn’t do to forget why she was here. “Seems like one of us has too many clothes on, and it’s not me.”

He stroked the bare flesh above her stocking. “Oh no, darlin’, what you’ve got on is exactly right.” Cade stepped back and grinned, shrugging off his coat. “Guaranteed to give me good dreams tonight, assuming you ever let me sleep.”

She watched him strip off his tie and stepped in to help unbutton his shirt. “Does being a gigolo always require such formal wear?”

“You know, all these career advancement seminars always talk about the importance of appearance.” He leaned down to unlace his shoes. “There are even rules about how to undress.”

“How to undress?” Ryan sank down on the bed to watch him, propping her head on her hand and casually flipping her dressing gown back to reveal lace and garters. Lazily, she stroked a hand up the inside of her thigh and circled out over her hip.

His eyes flashed hot with desire. Leaning over the bed, he kissed her until her breath came fast, then he stood back up. “Well, yes.” Enjoying himself, he watched her intently. “For example, even the sexiest guy looks like a dork parading around in socks and jockey shorts. All the best gigolo manuals advise removing the shoes and socks before the pants come off.” Sitting in the chair by the window, he demonstrated.

“Do tell. I’d always figured that natural talent counted most in your career. Clearly, I was misinformed.” Ryan stroked the skin of her neck, fingertips sliding down to the swell of her breasts.

Cade’s eyes were riveted on her hands. “Well, there’s certainly something to be said for talent and enthusiasm,” he said, standing up to drop his trousers, his “talent” jutting out from his boxers.

Then he stripped them off as well and her mouth went dry.

“Now who’s got on too many clothes?” he asked, easing onto the bed beside her and sliding his hands down her silk gown. He kissed the smooth skin of her shoulders as he eased the silk down her arms.

“Cade,” Ryan said as she felt his lips on her. “I was thinking about this all day today when I was at work.” His response was muffled as he pushed her flat and began to kiss her breasts where they rose above the merry widow. Despite herself, she moaned. “I was thinking about what we could do tonight and what would really turn me on,” she managed.

“And this isn’t doing the trick?” he asked mischievously, running his fingertips lightly up the bare skin of her inner thighs.

It felt wonderful, she thought, fighting not to writhe against him. She had to stay focused. “I wouldn’t say that, but I thought your stock in trade was making fantasies come true.” And this was her fantasy happening this instant, but he was playing her even now. Payback had to be on the agenda. But oh, it felt blissful.

His lips traveled back to hers. “What’s your fantasy?” He pulled back and looked at her, his hand stroking the soft skin of her breasts, his eyes hot. “Tell me and we’ll do it.”

Ryan ran her hands down his torso to capture him hard in her hand, slipping her fingers up to the velvety tip of him, then back down. When he sucked in his breath, she smiled. “My fantasy has always been to drive a man crazy.”

“You’ve got a good start on that right now, sweetheart,” he said in a strained voice as she continued to move her hand.

Ryan shook her head. “Oh, I mean reeallly drive you crazy,” she said, pushing him onto his back. She came up on her hands and knees to lean over him, nibbling her way down his torso. “Take you right to the edge until you’re begging for more.” She nuzzled his hard erection, then blew a warm breath over it. “And then give it to you.” For a heady instant, she took him in her mouth, felt him pulse against her.

“Sounds like quite a fantasy to me,” Cade said raggedly, reaching out reflexively as she pulled away.

Ryan leaned over to pull open a drawer at the side of the bed and pulled out a tasseled silk rope. “You haven’t heard it all,” she purred, running the silk tassel up and down his chest. “What would you say if I told you my fantasy included tying you up?”

Cade raised an eyebrow. “Bondage?”

She gave a short laugh. “Hardly. It’s not as serious as all that.” Ryan teased his chest with the tassel, and followed its path with her tongue. Then, she moved up the bed to lie beside him, stroking him with the silk. “I just think it would be kind of a turn on. Besides, it’s not as though you haven’t done this before. I imagine in your line of work you’ve seen this more than a few times.” She leaned in to kiss him hard. “Anyway, I thought your job was to do anything I asked.”

Against his will, he sank into the kiss she pressed on him. She felt so good and smelled so good that it was a struggle to stay focused. His choices were simple: fess up or get tied up. There didn’t seem to be any other way out. If he stayed in character, getting tied up would be no big deal, familiar territory. It would be part of the job. The only way out would be to break character, in which case he’d be lucky to get out the door in one piece, let alone with his clothes. He’d lied to her and led her on. All his fine resolutions to tell the truth had evaporated when she’d opened the door. He’d deserve anything he got.

That didn’t mean it would be pleasant, though. He wished that this tangle didn’t exist and he was just here to be with her. At this point telling the truth would basically ensure that he never saw her again.

And that just wasn’t an acceptable option right now.

Her fingers were on him again, sending a curl of heat through his body. She’d said her fantasy was to drive him crazy. The whole reason she was here was to find out what making love was really like. He felt her draped against him and thought of driving himself deep into her softness, of having her hot and tight around him. If he told her the truth and left, that was what he’d be walking out on. If he stayed, that was where they were sure to go. After that, maybe he could do some fast talking, work out a way to see her again for real.

“You’re spending a lot of time thinking, Mr. Douglas,” Ryan purred. “Are we going to do this, or will I have to call the agency and ask for someone else?”

In a flash he rolled and had her beneath him. “Over my dead body.” His mouth was possessive on hers. Marking territory, Ryan thought through a haze of desire.

Cade rolled on his back and stretched one arm out lazily toward a bedpost. In the flickering candlelight his skin looked bronzed, as if from ancient Rome. “You want to tie me up, sugar, you go right ahead.”

5

RYAN PULLED THE LAST silk rope tight around Cade’s wrists and eased herself down to lie on the bed beside him. “What’s it like being tied up? I’ve never done this before. Is it sexy?”

Strange, Cade thought uneasily. Definitely strange, and not something he’d be doing again any time soon. “You seem to have done an efficient job,” he said, testing his bonds. “Were you a Girl Scout?”

“Yes.” She traced patterns over his chest, brushing lightly over his nipples, then leaned over to nibble. “Were you a Boy Scout?”

Cade’s body jolted at the contact. He nodded. “Resourcefulness is my middle name.”

“What was the Boy Scout list of virtues, again?” Ryan began kissing her way down his body, pausing now and again to sample the flavors of his skin. “Cleanliness? Politeness?”

“A Boy Scout is loyal, helpful…” he broke off as she licked him, then let her hair brush over his chest until every nerve ending shivered at attention.

“Go on,” she prompted, stroking her hands along his sides.

“Mmm, friendly…courteous…” She was driving him crazy, he thought, just as she’d wanted to. The soft, cool stroke of her hands, the warmth of her mouth, it was all pushing his control to the limit. “Kind…obedient…”

“Don’t stop,” she whispered, tracing his hip with the tip of her tongue.

“Cheerful…thrifty…” Cade took a shuddering breath as she drew closer to where the hard length of him trembled. “Uh, brave…clean…” he managed in a strangled voice as she put her mouth on him. “Reverent…trustworthy,” he groaned. He started to reach for her and found his hands stopped by the rope. Then the heat of her mouth went away.

“Trustworthy. Honest. Yeah, that’s the one I want.” Ryan rose up suddenly and stepped off the bed. “You didn’t learn that one so well, did you Mr. Douglas? Assuming that’s your real name, of course. I already know this isn’t your real career.”

Busted. It flashed through him. Reflexively he tried to sit up, and was faced with the inescapable fact that he was trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey. This was not good, he thought. Not good at all.

“I can explain.” God, what a lame response, he thought disgustedly.

“Oh, I certainly hope so.” Ryan pulled a chair up to the side of the bed. “I’m dying to hear this one. Wait,” she stopped him when he started to talk. “Let me get my wine.”

She took her time coming back to the chair. Cade knew it was to annoy him, and she succeeded. It infuriated him to be so helpless. It was even more irritating to know that he probably deserved whatever she could dish out to him. She draped herself over the chair, and it annoyed him even more that he still wanted her.

“You planned this, of course,” he said calmly. “I wondered why the sudden change in location. The Copley Hotel doesn’t have any four-posters. And you played the fantasy thing brilliantly. You tricked me and I walked right into it.”

“Well, you tricked me into bed,” she shot back at him. “I don’t see the difference.”

“You had a choice.”

“So did you.”

Cade shook his head. “I didn’t know what was going on at first. It isn’t every day that a gorgeous woman comes by to pick you up, even if it is an accident. It wasn’t until we got upstairs that I realized what was really going on.”

“You thought I was a pickup?” She’d thought she was angry before, but now she was livid.

“What did you expect? You walk up to me unexpectedly, you ask me upstairs. What am I supposed to think? You caught me in a mood to take a chance. I know it was stupid but I wanted to be with you.” He blew a breath out in frustration. “I tried to get out of it when I realized what was going on. You wouldn’t let me.”

“You didn’t try very hard.”

“I wanted you. Is that a crime?” His eyes blazed at her. “You were ready to happily jump into bed with a guy who sleeps with people for money, but you’re pissed off that I slept with you because I wanted you.”

“No, I’m pissed off because you lied to me.” She sprang up from the chair and paced across the carpet. “I liked you. I thought we clicked. It could have stayed that way if you’d been honest with me.”

Cade snorted. “If I’d been honest with you, you’d have said goodbye and gone looking for your hustler and we would never have said another word to each other.”

He was right, she thought. But he’d still been out of line. “It never occurred to you to try to set the record straight?”

“Of course it did,” he said impatiently, then closed his eyes and shook his head. “From the minute I figured out what was going on I was trying to find a way out that would let me set things straight and still keep this going.”

“‘This’ meaning the sex, of course,” she said frostily.

“This meaning being with you. And yes, the sex—it’s not like we’ve spent a lot of time talking politics or philosophy. But what we had together felt pretty damned good, and at the time I wanted it to keep going more than I wanted to come clean. I came over here tonight thinking I’d tell you everything. Until you answered the door looking like that.” He stopped for a moment. “I’m not proud of it, but there it is.”

She stared into his eyes, softening. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to be with him, to feel the way she had that morning. If only… Her breath huffed out in frustration. In all honesty she was as bad as he was, searching for a justification for keeping it going instead of recognizing it for what it was and letting it go.

Cade raised his head and looked at her. “You’ve obviously been planning this ever since you found out today. So what happens now? Please, fill me in. I’m all tied up in knots over it,” he finished sarcastically.

Ryan looked at him stretched out on the bed, his skin gleaming copper-colored in the candlelight. Heat flared in her blood, driven this time not by anger but by passion. “Well, it looks to me like I have you at my mercy.” She rose to lean over the bed and brush a palm over the smooth, hard lines of his belly. “Your punishment is that I get to amuse myself with your body until I’m ready to let you go.”

Standing, she shrugged out of her dressing gown, letting it slide down her arms to pool on the floor. Then she kicked off her shoes and sank down on the bed beside him. “You see, I’ve always been very curious about the male body. Outside of last night, I’ve never even seen a naked man up close before, at least not in the light. The only things I know are what I’ve read in Cosmo.” She gave him a serious stare. “I don’t know what parts are sensitive or what will make you moan, or even how the equipment works.” She kissed him hard, then drew back. “Tonight, I get to experiment.”

“You’re not seriously expecting me to cooperate with this, are you?” Irritation replaced the momentary empathy in his eyes. “I’m not some lab monkey.”

“No, indeed, Mr. Douglas. I’d say you’re all man.” She smiled wickedly. “And I hope you’ve been taking your vitamins. Tonight, you’re going to need them.”

Hell of a position to be in, Cade thought. On the other hand, he could think of worse punishments than having someone play with his body and looking for what pleased him most.

That didn’t mean he planned to enjoy this.

Ryan leaned over to the bedside table and came back with a feather. With excruciating slowness, she traced the soft tip over the lines of his face, stroking his brow and his cheeks, teasing his closed eyelids, tracing the line of his lips. Then she went lower, writing swirling patterns like cursive script over his arms, his palms, his chest. He stiffened as she dropped lower to trace over his torso, then his flat belly. He sucked in a breath as she drew down close to his hips, feeling the moist heat of her breath fanning over his skin as the feather tip trailed along. He steeled himself not to react as he felt her trace circles on the sensitive skin of his hips, but instead of going to the next obvious destination, she twirled it down over his legs and stroked the tender flesh of his instep in a surprisingly erotic caress.

He couldn’t stop it any longer and was starting to react when the tip of the feather suddenly traced the hardening tip of him. He caught his breath.

Ryan tossed the feather aside and rose onto her hands and knees. Dropping her head, she let her hair spill down onto his chest. Slowly she dragged it down his torso so that just the ends stroked over his chest, his hips, and beyond. Swaying, she ran it down his legs then back up again, across his arms and back down his chest.

The silky brush of her hair brought his skin to a state of exquisite sensitivity. The anticipation was as much a part of the experience as the touch. When the soft spill of hair stroked over his most tender parts, he bit back a groan. This was something new, and he liked it more than he wanted to. The teasing touch was lighter than hand or mouth, and more tantalizing than either.

Then he felt her lips against his neck, trailing down over his shoulder then over to linger over his nipples, kissing the newly sensitized skin. Her lips traveled lower and he felt himself stir in anticipation. Instead of touching him, though, she stopped and straightened up.

“You know, this merry widow feels very sexy but it’s starting to get hot.” She straddled him and reached down to begin unfastening the long chain of hooks that wound down the front of the garment. Her breasts spilled out first, then a growing triangle of white skin appeared. Hook by hook, the triangle widened, exposing rosy nipples, soft white breasts, and her flat, smooth stomach. Finally she finished and tossed it away, sitting astride him gloriously naked. How he wanted to fill his hands with her breasts, feel their weight and softness. Instead, he pulled his hands impotently at the ropes.

“Now, now, don’t get impatient,” she chided him. “Everything in good time.” She moved back down his body to stare at his hardening erection. There was no sense in pretending that he wasn’t aroused. In fact, he wanted to drag her close and stop the teasing, erase this maddening need that was overtaking him.