My Sexiest Mistake

Ryan gave a short laugh. “Hardly. I’m a writer. Part of the time, anyway.”

“What do you write?”

His hands were long-fingered, capable, and she stared in fascination. “Oh, women’s fiction,” she answered vaguely, watching him twist the cork off of the corkscrew, then handing him a glass. “I’ve got a nasty case of writer’s block and a deadline. My agent thought this would give me inspiration.”

“Inspiration for what?” Cade asked, his brow creasing in puzzlement as he poured the wine into the cut crystal and handed her a glass. Pouring a glass for himself, he sat on the couch.

Ryan looked at him impishly. “To the power of inspiration.” She clinked her glass against his.

“You still have to tell me what for,” he reminded her, then drank, letting the dark flavor of the wine roll over his tongue.

“For my sex scenes, of course,” she said.

Cade choked.

Ryan watched him cough, amused. “What, you don’t think of yourself as an artistic muse?” she asked, watching as he walked over to the windows and back, catching his breath.

“If you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about then no, I don’t,” he said as he came back to the couch. He picked up the glass that he’d set on the table while he was busy coughing up a lung and took a long drink.

“Well I hope you live up to your billing. This has to be a very hot scene. Helene’s friend said you had the hands and mouth of a god,” Ryan said, and watched him choke again. “You came highly recommended,” she said, then pounded him helpfully on the back. “Should I get you some water?”

“No, thank you.” Cade cleared his throat and grabbed his glass again. Christ, he definitely needed a drink while he worked out what to do here. All his instincts were telling him to go, not to get involved, but her scent wound around his brain. He started to drink, then lowered the glass. “Do me a favor. Don’t say anything else dangerous while I drink this, okay?” He eyed her warily over the rim as he sipped, then he put it down.

Ryan popped a grape into her mouth, enjoying herself hugely. She felt desirable, gorgeous…sexy. Power surged through her. She crossed her legs slowly and leaned toward him, resting her arm on the back of the couch. “So what happens now?” Her pulse skittered over the deep, slow burn of arousal. She wanted to feel his hands on her, now. “Isn’t this the part where you’re supposed to start feeding me grapes and having your way with me?”

Her husky voice and the slow smile that went with the words hit him like a sucker punch. Didn’t this one just beat all, he thought. He wanted her so badly he could feel it pulsing through him, but going along with this charade had the makings of a disaster. He owed it to her to tell her what was going on.

Yeah, but what did it matter really, asked a soft, persuasive voice in his head. That was the little head thinking for the big head, Cade thought grimly, but he stared at the shadows in the hollow of her neck and listened anyway. She thought she was sleeping with a gigolo. Really, she’d be better off sleeping with him. At least he’d be doing it because he wanted her, not because he wanted money. As far as complications went, well, it wasn’t as though she could be expecting to have a relationship with a gigolo, so it could all begin and end here. He couldn’t lead her on because the very nature of the situation meant that she wouldn’t be expecting anything besides a one-time roll in the hay.

Besides, if he told her the truth now she’d strangle him.

Okay, here was the deal, he thought, shutting down the voice. He’d go to the bathroom and figure out some kind of fake excuse, and then he’d go. He’d do the right thing and get up and go. Right then.

Except that just then he had a hard-on that would hammer nails.

Ryan was watching him closely. “What’s wrong? You’ve got a really funny look on your face.”

“I uh…I just remembered that I forgot to bring along any condoms,” he said, and gave himself points. In today’s world it was a pretty valid excuse.

“Oh.” She fought down a quick surge of disappointment, then paused as she considered some of the alternatives. “And here I thought you were a professional,” she said mockingly. “I guess you’ll just have to think of something special to keep my mind off the fact that I’m not getting the full package, so to speak.”

He should have known there’d be no easy outs here, Cade thought. He must be out of his mind trying to escape it. Any other single guy would be all over this one in a heartbeat. Any other guy would be all over her in a heartbeat. “Well, it’s actually got me thinking. Based on what you said before, I just…I think you’re doing this for the wrong reasons.”

“The wrong reasons?” Ryan echoed in bewilderment, her euphoria dying away. “Because I’m paying you for sex for business reasons rather than for personal companionship? You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I just don’t want this to turn out to be a bad thing for you. We’re having a good time. Why don’t we just leave it at this?”

Suddenly it felt like every horrid date she’d ever had. Like the worst times with Ross, thinking he wanted her, finding out it was all entirely different than she’d imagined. “I thought we were supposed to have sex,” she snapped. “I didn’t realize that this was a pass/fail interview.” She jumped up and stalked to the wall of windows, leaning against the handrail that ran across it and staring out into the night. “This is unbelievable. I must be the only person I know who can’t make it with a guy even when I’m paying him.”

“This has nothing to do with me not wanting you,” Cade said sharply, rising to follow her. “But if we do this I think you’re going to be sorry, and I don’t want that. I like you. And I don’t think you’re thinking this through.”

“You don’t think I’m thinking this through?” Ryan spun to face him, sputtering in outrage. “What business is it of yours? Who set you up to decide what’s best for me?” Two spots of color stained her cheeks. “Whatever happened to all your talk about satisfying needs? This is supposed to be about money, honey.” The words dripped with sarcasm.

“This has nothing to do with money,” he said quietly.

She refused to be mollified. “Oh come on. Money’s why you’re here.”

“No it’s not. It’s you.”

“I find that hard to believe,” she said coldly.

“Why? Don’t you see yourself when you look into the mirror?” His words came to her softly, and the low thrumming started again in her blood. “When I saw you walk in tonight it stopped me dead.”

“Oh please.” He wasn’t going to play her for a fool, Ryan thought. And yet, when she looked into his eyes she could swear that he was telling her the absolute truth.

“I mean it.” He stepped close to her and tilted up her chin, running his fingertips lightly down her throat. Smooth as cream, he thought. And he knew he was about to make a big mistake. “This has nothing to do with money.” He brushed his lips over her jawline. “This only has to do with you and with me.”

Then his mouth closed over hers and a roaring madness swept them away.

3

IT WAS NO SOFT, gentle kiss. There was no time to sample and savor. Urgent with the suppressed desire of the past hours, he took her, possessed her, his mouth driving her into a frenzy. The wanting, the desire drove them both.

This is what it’s like, ran a refrain in her head. For years she had watched, yearned, tried to imagine what it felt like, the riot of sensation that was rushing through her body. Now there was no more need to imagine, just to feel. Ryan pushed his jacket off his shoulders, greedy to have him against her.

Cade tossed it impatiently on the floor, throwing his tie off after it. Running his hands down her sleek body, he pulled her to him, then spun her around to face the glass.

Ryan was dizzy, drunk with arousal, glorying in his urgency. After a seemingly endless drought of affection, she was suddenly in the arms of a man who wanted her so badly he trembled. It was intoxicating. More, was all she could think. She wanted more.

His hands curved down over her shoulders and his lips traced a line to follow. “When I was taking your shawl off earlier, all I wanted to do was touch you like this, just feel your skin under my hands,” he murmured against her skin.

A slow, molten flow started deep in her belly.

Ryan groaned at the heat of his hands on her, at the feel of his body behind her, his arousal pushing hard and insistently against her. She turned her head, letting it fall back so she could kiss him. “And is that all you want now?” she murmured against his lips.

“Not by half.” He spun her back around and pulled her against him. Then his mouth was on hers again, parting her lips to taste the dark flavors inside. Any thought of principles had been annihilated in the burning pulse of desire that consumed him. His hands slid down her sides and curved around in front to fill themselves with the soft fullness of her breasts and he caught his breath.

Ryan reveled in the riot of sensation, the textures, the flavors, the scents. How had she ever managed to live without this? How had she ever managed to do without this driving urgency, without the heat of a man’s hands hard against her body? Without feeling him stiff against her and knowing without a doubt that he wanted her? All the nerves were gone, the second-guessing was a thing of the past. Certainty flowed through her. She didn’t have to think about it—the way she touched him was inevitable, instinctive. She kissed as though she would inhale him, then broke off to nibble a frenzy of kisses down his cheek and neck, feeling fresh amazement at the smooth tight feel of his skin against her mouth.

His hands stroked down the smooth skin of her back until he found the zipper of the low-cut dress. She was alive in his arms and he wanted more. He tugged the zipper down and felt the fabric part beneath his fingers.

The cool air from the window brushed over her skin, making her shiver, but the heat of his lips made her shiver more. “The lights are on in here,” she whispered. “People will be able to see in from the outside.”

“We’re fourteen floors up. Let ’em look if they want to.” Forcing himself to go slowly, he slipped the dress from her shoulders and let it drop to the floor, holding her steady as she stepped out of it. And stared dry-mouthed at the low-cut black bra and garter belt that had been hidden underneath. Holding her arms out to the side, he stepped back and simply looked. “You’re so sexy,” he whispered huskily, then filled his hands with her breasts.

So long, it had been so long since he’d felt the yielding softness of a woman’s body. And he wanted her more than any woman he’d known. He pressed her back against the glass, stroking his hands over the swell of flesh that rose above the black satin cups, then sliding his hands down her sides.

His tongue traced a line down her neck to linger at the tops of her breasts as he unsnapped the front clasp of her bra and peeled the cups back. Her breasts tumbled out, rounded and full. He whispered something and took one of her nipples in her mouth.

Ryan moaned, nearly delirious at the liquid warmth of his tongue against her. Part of her was utterly amazed that this was happening at all. This was the kind of passion she watched in movies, not the kind of thing that happened to her. Only now it was happening, and she gloried in every groan, every brush of skin against skin.

Twisting sinuously, she brought herself into closer contact with him, tangling her fingers in his hair. He sucked and stroked his tongue against her, dwelling on first one peak, then the next, driving her higher as the tension built deep inside.

Then he traced his tongue lower still, licking across the quivering skin of her belly as he dropped to his knees in front of her. Impatiently he unbuttoned his shirt, flinging it to one side, then wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him to feel her against his bare flesh.

Ryan ran her hands over his shoulders, feeling the curve of hard muscle against her fingertips. She was greedy for everything she could feel, everything she could take, everything she could give. To know that she could make his breath come fast, make him shudder was intoxicating. Knowing that they were only scratching the surface was more intoxicating still.

Cade heard her moan as he slid his hands down her back and over the curve of her buttocks, hooking his fingers in the sides of her black lace bikini. He smiled as he realized she’d put it on last when she dressed that evening. Then he stripped the silky thing down and she stood against the wide window in only her garters and stockings, looking like some delectable advertisement for sin. The smoothness of the gossamer hose against his palms as he ran them up and down her legs made him catch his breath. He pressed his lips against her hip, then journeyed lower, brushing against the first curls of hair, then lower still. Sliding his hands between her legs, he pushed them gently apart.

Ryan gasped and jolted as the wet warmth of his tongue slipped into the slick cleft between her legs, stroking the tight, hard bud of her sex. The slight roughness of his cheeks scraped the tender insides of her thighs as he caressed her with his tongue, swirling it in a way that made her lose control and move her hips mindlessly, crying out in breathy moans she wasn’t even aware she was making. Touching herself had never been like this, she thought in shock. In her wildest dreams she couldn’t have imagined anything could feel this good, that the wet, slick strokes could bring on such heat.

Feeling her response, Cade drove her higher, inflamed by her arousal. “This is what I wanted to do from the moment I saw you,” he whispered, his mouth on her. “You walked in that room and I just wanted you naked, under me, against me. I wanted to know what you tasted like, how you moaned when you came.” He ran a finger back and forth where she was most slippery, tormenting her with his touch, then plunged it inside her as he worked her with his mouth.

Ryan arched and cried out as the climax ripped through her in a rush of pleasure and light. Her body shuddered with the contractions and the flush of heat that rocketed out to her fingertips and toes. She surged to another peak and cried out again. The jolts lasted long after the flood of sensation had abated. Her legs turned to water and she swayed.

“Easy,” Cade said softly. “I think we need to go over here.” He guided her to the bed. Ryan laid back bonelessly against the sweet-smelling sheets, watching him strip off his shoes, trousers and briefs. God he had a gorgeous body, lean and muscled like a champion swimmer.

The mattress gave as he laid down next to her, turning on his side to watch her as he stroked a hand down her body. Ryan reached out to touch his face, then ran a fingertip down his body to his hip. He sucked in a breath and she felt a surge of triumph. Sitting up, she pushed him flat on his back. “I think its time you sit back and let me drive,” she murmured. Before she had relaxed and taken. Now it was her turn to give, her turn to feel the power of desire.

On her hands and knees, she leaned down to kiss him slow and lingeringly, rubbing her lips against his, tracing a line down his neck with her tongue. Tasting the salt tang of sweat, she licked her way down his flat belly, letting her hair trail over his skin, then sank down to the mattress by his hip, staring at his pulsing erection in fascination. Slowly, she touched a finger to the drop of clear liquid that glistened on the tip, then spread it along the sensitive underside. Cade’s body jolted and his breath hissed.

The last time she’d done this, she’d been a clumsy innocent groping in the dark with a man, a callow boy, really, who had been wishing she was someone else. This time, for just this hour, she knew Cade wanted her. After years of longing for contact, she was touching someone who desired her, feeling his response to her touch, watching his arousal leap and pulse in response to her teasing.

Heart hammering, she leaned over and ran the tip of her tongue where her fingertip had been. The sensation was incredible. He was hard yet silky soft against her lips as she rubbed them against him, running them up and down, first slowly, then faster, swirling her tongue around the rounded tip of him. She was rewarded with a strangled moan. More boldly now she grasped him with her hand and slipped him into her mouth.

Power. It surged through her as she heard him groan, as she felt his hips rock helplessly in response to her touch. To know that she could bring him to this level of intensity was intoxicating. She ran her head up and down in an intimate caress, feeling him get harder and harder against her mouth with every stroke. The skin was like silk stretched over marble.

“Ryan,” Cade said in a strangled voice.

“Hmm?” she looked up but didn’t slow her movements.

“If you keep doing that I’m going to—” he broke off and hauled her roughly up his body. Kissing her hard, he put her hand on him and stroked it once. A groan tore out of him and he surged against her, pulsing in her hand.

RYAN STRETCHED, FEELING relaxation settle over her slow and heavy. Cade pressed a long, lingering kiss on her lips. Ryan turned her head on the pillow and looked at him intently. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?” he laughed. “What for?”

“For bringing me back,” she said simply, and kissed him. “I haven’t done this in a very long time, years.” Her eyes were serious. “You probably don’t know what it’s like to be without sex that long, but you lose touch with the world. After a couple of years go by, you’re afraid to touch anyone, afraid you’ll hug a friend too hard or stare someone in the eyes too long because you’ve been so disconnected with the world that you don’t know what it’s like anymore, to be in touch with people.”

She was describing his life for the past four years, Cade thought. He’d been running hard and trying to ignore it, but he knew the feeling that she was talking about. Isolation, in a way that went deeper than being alone. He pulled her close, feeling the luxury of her naked body against his. “I can’t believe that you don’t have guys coming on to you right and left.”

Ryan blushed. “Well, I don’t usually wander around dressed like I was tonight. I don’t know, guys just don’t ask me out.” Suddenly self-conscious, she reached for the sheet.

Cade put a hand on hers. “Uh-uh.” He pulled the sheet back. “I want to look.” He ran the flat of his hand over the curve of her hip. “I think you’re amazing.”

“This is amazing.” She shook her head. “You don’t know what it’s like. It’s as though you’re living in the world but you’re only a spectator to the life that everyone else is living.” She kissed him again. “You’ve brought me back from that. I feel like I’m part of the human race again.”

“Incredible,” he murmured, rolling her over so that she lay on top of him. He ran his hands down her back, resting them on her hips. “I don’t know what those other guys you’ve known have been thinking. I’m glad to be the one you let inside.”

“Well, I didn’t let you in everywhere,” she said impishly, squirming against him. “I can think of some places you haven’t been, what with your forgetting items key to your profession.”

Cade winced at the reference, but his expression was lightly amused. “Oh yeah?”

“Well, yes. And as a professional, what do you propose to do about that? After all, the scenes for my book do have to be complete in the particulars.”

He rolled her again so that she was half underneath him. “Well, I pride myself on keeping my customers satisfied,” he said between kisses. “I suppose the fair thing would be to forgo payment until you receive the full treatment you were led to expect.” He stroked the tender skin on her breast until she shivered, then slid his hand over the soft curve of her hip to linger at the tops of her thighs. “What do you say you hold on to your payment and we meet again tomorrow night to close the deal?” His clever fingers teased her, stroking her into arousal all over again. “In the meantime, I think a demonstration of good faith is in order.”

Ryan’s yes was a moan that he stopped with his mouth.

4

RYAN BOUNCED TOWARD HER office building, dancing on air. With only three hours of sleep under her belt, she should have been exhausted, but she walked down the pavement buoyed by a bubble of euphoria. The sun was shining, the streets gleamed from the previous night’s rain. The whole world looked shiny and new, just like she felt.

She was no longer on the outside looking in. She was a part of it all. The elevator that boosted her to the tenth floor was no match for the buoyancy that had taken her over.

“’Morning, Mona,” she called to the administrative assistant assigned to their group.

The plump blonde smiled to her as she walked past. “Morning, Ryan. Barry says he wants to see the viewgraphs for the Internet meeting by the end of the day.”

Ryan rolled her eyes. “Barry always wants something.” She heard her phone ringing before she even made it into her office. Swinging inside, she picked it up with a grin, stretching to close the door behind her. “Hello Helene.”

“So what happened?” the gravelly voice demanded.

Ryan dropped into her chair and turned toward the window, stretching luxuriously. “God, Helene, it was amazing. Incredible. It was like nothing else that’s ever happened to me before.”

“Well, that’s surprising considering that he never got near you. What’d you do, chicken out?”

“I was up until four in the morning writing the lo…” Ryan stopped short. “What did you say?” she asked slowly.

“I just got a call from a very irate person at the agency wondering why their high-priced best boy spent the evening cooling his heels at the Copley. They were demanding payment in full, I might add.”

“Helene, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I met him at the Copley at eight,” Ryan protested. “We spent most of the night together.”

There was a short silence. “Oh really.”

Ryan stared at the phone. “This is the part where you say ha ha, just kidding, Helene,” she said. “Helene?”

“Ha ha, just kidding.” The words were in a robotic monotone.

“Helene, tell me this is a joke,” Ryan said with slowly dawning horror. “Tell me the man I was with last night was the guy from the agency.”

The silence stretched out.

The blood began roaring in her ears.

“That son of a bitch,” she said slowly. “That goddamned son of a bitch.” Pure fury slammed through her so quickly it took her breath away.

He’d lied to her. He’d let her think he was the gigolo and as a result she’d taken a complete stranger into her bed. Admittedly, she had expected to take a complete stranger into her bed, but it was supposed to be a complete stranger with references. Instead, she’d been shanghaied by Cade Douglas, who was heaven only knew who.

Her imagination painted steadily more frightening pictures. He could have been anyone, she thought with a chill. She was lucky she hadn’t been robbed or worse. Yet he’d turned down her money, so he wasn’t some down-and-out hustler. He was doing it for kicks. It must have been quite the joke to him. She could just imagine him laughing inside the whole time he was scamming her.

She thought of him groaning as he came and the chill flamed back into fury. Oh no, he hadn’t been laughing the whole time. He’d been getting off on it all, playing up his whole little charade. “You’re doing this for the wrong reasons.” “What do you say we meet tomorrow night to close the deal.” Close the deal, indeed, she fumed. It wasn’t enough that he’d played her once. He had the nerve to keep going. Sure, and why not? It was the ultimate male fantasy, sex with no commitment.

“Hey kid, are you okay?” Helene’s voice broke into her thoughts.

She wanted to yell. She wanted to scream. She wanted to hit something, preferably Cade Douglas. No, hitting was too good for him, she thought dizzily. He should be horse-whipped. He should be roasted over a high flame.