Her Real Family Christmas

‘How about we have a sandwich and a walk together?’ he suggested.

Oh, help. This was beginning to sound like a date. And she could feel the colour rising in her cheeks to betray her.

‘We can talk about the project and work out what we need to do.’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘I know it’s a bit of a cheek, asking you to give up your lunch break for work.’

Work. Of course it was just work. She seized the excuse gratefully. ‘No, it’s fine. Otherwise we’re going to have to fit in a meeting between patients—and one of us is bound to be needed in the middle of it.’

‘Or just before a shift starts or after it ends, and we might not be rostered on at the same time. I thought we’d both be more likely to be around at lunchtime,’ Daniel said.

‘Good idea. OK. I’ll see you at lunchtime, then.’

‘Great. I’ll call for you.’ He smiled and was gone, leaving her to her paperwork.

Odd how that smile made her feel warm inside.

Stupid, too. This was about work, and nothing but work. They were having lunch together simply because it was the easiest way to fit in a meeting. And her common sense had better come back, pronto.

For once, the ward was quiet, so Daniel was able to call for Stephanie as they’d agreed. They picked up a meal from the hospital canteen; he noticed that she chose a healthy chicken salad wrap, fruit and water. Clearly she was someone who looked after herself, rather than a lot of the medics he knew, who grabbed a chocolate bar for quick energy because they didn’t have time for a proper break and a proper meal. Then they walked out to the park opposite the hospital and found a seat.

‘So how was your morning?’ she asked.

She really did have an amazing smile, he thought. Crazily, although they were outside and it was already sunny, the whole park felt brighter when she smiled. ‘Fine. Yours?’

‘Fine. Well, full of paperwork,’ she said ruefully. ‘And I guess this is going to be more of the same.’

Daniel found it hard to concentrate on talking to her about the roles of their departments and where they could work together to give their patients better care. He wanted to reach over and touch her dark hair, see if it was as soft as it looked. Which was insane; he never normally acted this way towards anyone.

But Stephanie looked so cute, all serious and thoughtful as she made notes on her mobile phone while they discussed the ins and outs of their respective departments.

For a mad moment, he itched to lean over and touch his mouth to hers. Just once. Just to see what it felt like.

‘Dan?’ she asked.

‘Uh.’ He felt the betraying heat crawling into his face. ‘Sorry, I was multi-tasking. I should know better. I don’t have enough X chromosomes to do that sort of thing.’

She laughed and the seriousness in her face vanished. She really was pretty, Daniel thought. He liked the way her green eyes crinkled at the corners, even at the same time as it scared him. He didn’t notice things like this about women. He didn’t think of women in terms of anything other than family, colleagues or patients. This woman could be seriously dangerous to his peace of mind.

‘Don’t do yourself down,’ she said. ‘Or do you normally hang around with totally sexist women?’

He laughed back. ‘Would a bossy little sister count?’

Her smile faded then, and he wondered what he’d said to change her mood.

Not that he could ask. There were suddenly barriers a mile high round her, and she kept the rest of their conversation on a totally businesslike footing. By the time they’d finished their lunch, she had enough notes for the basis of a report. ‘I’ll type it up and email it over to you, so you can see if I’ve missed anything.’

‘Thanks, that’d be good.’

And he couldn’t get the easiness back between them when they walked back to the hospital. He had no idea what he’d said to upset her, but he’d definitely rattled her cage.

‘Daddy, Ellie in my class is going to be a bridesmaid,’ Mia said, when Daniel had finished reading her bedtime story that evening.

‘That’s nice, darling,’ he said.

‘She’s going to have a really pretty dress. A purple one.’

Where was his daughter going with this? he wondered.

‘I’d like to be a bridesmaid.’ Her brown eyes were earnest.

Daniel relaxed and ruffled her hair. ‘I’m sure you’d make a lovely bridesmaid. Maybe one day.’

‘Maybe Aunty Lucy will get married,’ Mia said.

Given that his sister was still recovering from the break-up of her first marriage, he wasn’t sure that’d happen any time soon. Not that it was a topic he wanted to discuss with a six-year-old. ‘Maybe.’

‘Ellie’s going to have a new mummy,’ Mia added thoughtfully. ‘Because her daddy’s getting married. That’s why she’s going to be a bridesmaid.’

Oh, help. Now he could see where she was really going with this.

‘And she’s not like Snow White’s nasty stepmother. She’s really nice. She taught Ellie how to draw cats.’ Mia bit her lip. ‘Ellie’s so lucky. She’s going to have two mummies.’

And Mia didn’t even have one.

Had he been selfish, avoiding everyone’s attempts to fix him up on a date? Should he have put his own feelings aside and tried to find someone who’d fit into their lives and be a mother to Mia? Guilt seeped through him.

‘Yes, she’s lucky,’ he said softly. ‘But you’re lucky, too. You have two nannas. And Aunty Lucy.’

‘Ye-es.’

But he knew that having two grandmothers and an aunt weren’t the same as having a mum. And now he felt really bad because he’d effectively stopped his daughter talking about her feelings. He could see that she was hurting.

‘Your mummy loved you very much,’ he said, stroking her hair. ‘And so do I.’

‘Love you, too, Daddy,’ Mia said.

‘Sleep tight, angel.’ OK, so he was being selfish again, backing away from the conversation—but he didn’t know what to say to her. How to make it right. Because this was something he couldn’t fix. ‘See you in the morning.’

‘Night-night, Daddy.’ Mia snuggled under her duvet after he’d kissed her goodnight.

Daniel thought about it for the rest of the evening.

He was still thinking about it, the next day. A mum for Mia.

Could he do this? Find her a mother? Replace Meg in his life as well as in hers?

After all, he had met someone. The first woman he’d been attracted to since Meg’s death. Though that in itself made him feel horribly guilty, as if he were betraying Meg’s memory. Mia had made it clear that she wanted a mother figure in her life; or was it just a phase? How would she feel if he started seeing someone? Would she feel as if she was missing out on time with him?

And then there was Stephanie herself. She’d been cagey about her past, and Daniel was pretty sure that someone had hurt her. Badly. Like him, she might have filled her life so she didn’t have space for a relationship. And, even if she did have space, would she want to get involved with someone who already had a child?

He brooded about it all the way home.

His sister was curled up on the sofa, reading, when he walked in; she looked up and frowned. ‘Tough day?’ she asked.

‘I’m fine,’ he lied.

‘Dan, I’ve known you long enough to see the signs. Come and sit down in the kitchen. I saved you some pasta. While it’s heating through, you can talk.’

‘Lucy, you’re being bossy.’ But he followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the table anyway.

‘I’m worried about you, Dan.’ She put the pasta in the microwave and sat down opposite him. ‘Tell me.’

‘I don’t know where to start.’ He sighed. ‘Mia was saying yesterday that one of her friends is getting a second mum.’

‘That would be Ellie.’ Lucy nodded. ‘Her new stepmum’s very nice.’

‘Mia, um, kind of hinted that she wants a mum.’

‘And that’s upset you?’

‘Thrown me.’ He grimaced. ‘Lucy, do you think it would be wrong of me to see someone?’

‘That depends. If you’re doing it just to give Mia a mum, then yes. That wouldn’t be fair to any of you.’ She paused. ‘But if you’ve met someone you want to see, that’s different. Mum and I have been saying for ages that you could do with some fun in your life. We all love Mia dearly, but it’s hard being a single parent, and the only things you ever do are if you go out somewhere with us or if it’s a team night at work.’

‘Which makes it sound as if I don’t have a social life.’

‘You don’t have a social life,’ she said gently.

He rubbed his jaw. ‘I feel guilty. It’s—well, it feels as if I’m betraying Meg.’

‘Rubbish,’ Lucy said roundly. ‘Think of it the other way round—if you’d been the one killed in the accident, would you have wanted Meg to be on her own for the rest of her life?’

‘I’m not on my own,’ he said. ‘I have Mia, I have you, I have Mum and Dad, and I have the Parkers.’

‘Having a daughter and a supportive family who love you,’ Lucy pointed out, ‘isn’t the same as dating someone. You’re still young, Dan. You’re only thirty-five, but you’re acting as if you’re an old man.’

He had no answer to that.

‘Would you have wanted Meg to stay on her own?’

He sighed. ‘No. I would’ve wanted her to find someone who’d love her as much as I did. Someone who’d treat Mia as his own and love her, too.’

‘Exactly. And Meg was my friend as well as my sister-in-law. I knew her well enough to know how she would’ve felt—and she would’ve felt the same as you do.’ She paused. ‘So have you met someone?’

He didn’t answer. Not that it made any difference.

‘Why don’t you ask her out?’ Lucy asked.

He gave her a speaking look. Wasn’t it obvious?

Lucy spread her hands. ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ When he didn’t answer, she said it for him. ‘That she says no. And then it’s no different from the situation you’re in now, not going out with her. Ask her.’

He wrinkled his nose. ‘It might be a bit awkward at work.’

‘She works with you?’

‘Sort of,’ he hedged.

‘In the same department?’

He had to be honest. ‘No.’

‘Well, then. It won’t be awkward. You always put patients first and you’re professional. OK, it might be a little bit awkward at the first team night out afterwards, but it’ll soon smooth over.’ She leaned over and squeezed his hand. ‘You’re scared, aren’t you?’

Trust his sister to work that out. ‘It’s been a long time since I’ve dated. I have no idea what I’m doing.’ He dragged in a breath. ‘And it’s not fair to Mia. Or to this woman.’

‘Whoa, you’re really building bridges to trouble here. Look, there’s a world of difference between going out with someone and enjoying an evening in each other’s company, and asking the woman to marry you and become Mia’s stepmother.’

‘I guess.’

‘Mia doesn’t have to know anything about this, so she’s not going to get hurt. If it doesn’t work out between you and the mystery woman, then it doesn’t work out, but you’ve still had a couple of nice evenings out and had some fun, for a change. And if it does work out—well, you’ve already said Mia wants a mum.’

How easy she made it sound. ‘You make it sound so easy,’ he said lightly.

She laughed. ‘It sounds easy, but we both know it isn’t always. Don’t forget I made a pretty good mess of my own love life. Dan, you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be yourself.’

‘Harvey was an idiot, you know.’ He’d never liked her ex.

‘And so was I, for choosing him, but I’ve forgiven myself for that.’

Daniel felt his eyes widen as he absorbed her words. ‘Lucy, are you seeing someone?’

‘I might be.’

He folded his arms and waited.

She gave in and groaned. ‘If you tell Mum, you’re toast. I don’t want her getting her hopes up, not until I know where this is going.’

He laughed. ‘OK, this is just between you and me. What’s he like and where did you meet him? Did Karen finally talk you into doing that online dating thing?’

‘No, he’s a parent at the school—not the parent of anyone I teach,’ she added swiftly. ‘I met him at a school governor meeting.’

So the man had a social conscience and was happy to do his bit for the community—unlike Harvey, who was the most selfish man Daniel had ever met. That was a good start. ‘You deserve someone nice—and you can tell him that your big brother—’

‘I’m telling him nothing of the kind,’ she cut in, ‘and, much as I love you, Dan, I don’t need you to fight my corner every second of the day. Just as you don’t need me there every second, fighting your corner.’ She softened her words with a smile. ‘But I’m glad we talked about this. Mum worries about you, and so do I. You need to do something for you, Dan. You’re more than just Mia’s dad and a busy doctor.’

He didn’t quite see how he could fit anything else into his life. But he smiled at his sister, knowing that she meant well. ‘The same goes for you. You’re more than just a brilliant teacher and aunt.’

She laughed. ‘I know. And I’m doing something about it. So maybe it’s time for you to do something about it, too. Ask her out, Dan. You’ll never know what she’d say unless you do.’

He thought about it for the next couple of days, and decided that maybe his sister was right. The next time he saw Stephanie, he’d ask her out.

But their shifts were clearly out of sync, because she didn’t attend any of the births where there were enough complications for the midwives to involve him and need a paediatrician on standby.

He made the decision when she emailed him the report. He emailed back.

Can we have a quick discussion? When’s good for you?

The reply came.

Lunch today or tomorrow, patients permitting?

Sure. I’ll ring down and see if you’re free.

He spent the rest of the morning doing the ward rounds, reassuring the nervous first-time mums and double-checking the obs for one of his mums with suspected pre-eclampsia before asking the midwives to step up the frequency and call him the minute anything changed. And then he called Stephanie’s extension.

‘Paediatrics, Stephanie Scott speaking,’ she said.

‘It’s Dan. Are OK for a lunch meeting about the project today?’ he asked.

‘Yes. I’ll meet you at the canteen. I think we’ll have to give the park a miss today.’

He glanced out of the window and realised that it was absolutely bucketing down outside. It looked more like November than September outside. Definitely not the right weather for lunch outdoors. ‘OK. See you there.’

Funny how his heart skipped a beat when he walked down the corridor and saw Stephanie waiting for him at the door to the canteen.

He kept himself in check and steered the conversation over lunch to her report and his suggested amendments, agreeing them with her point by point. And then, at the end, he looked at her. ‘Stephanie, before you rush back to the department, are you free any evening this week?’

She looked started. ‘Free?’

Oh, help. How was he going to ask her without it sounding sleazy or needy? It had been ten years since he’d last asked someone out. He was way out of practice in the dating game. Then he remembered what Lucy had said. Just be himself. The worst that could happen was that she’d say no.

‘I, um, thought might be nice to have dinner together. If you’re not busy,’ he added swiftly.

And he didn’t dare look at her. In case he saw disgust—or, worse, pity.

Would she say yes?

Or would she make a polite excuse and then be cool with him from here on after?

CHAPTER FOUR

STEPHANIE COULDN’T QUITE believe this. She hadn’t dated since she’d been a student—since she’d met Joe—and it really wasn’t something she was good at. She’d married the last man—ha, the first man—she’d dated; and that had turned out to be a complete disaster.

She shook herself. Daniel was asking her out to dinner, not shoving an engagement ring at her and asking her to spend the rest of her life with him. But, even so, panic flooded through her. ‘If this is about me looking after Mia when she was ill, there’s really no need—I was just doing my job, the same as you do with your mums and babies.’

‘It’s not about Mia. It’s about you and me, and—’ He stopped. ‘Sorry, I’m hopeless at this. I haven’t asked anyone out for a long time.’

Was she the first person he’d asked out since his wife had died? Oh, help. That was extra pressure she didn’t need. How could she be mean enough to knock him back, under those circumstances? Then again, how could she be mean enough to say yes, knowing that she was an emotional mess and totally hopeless when it came to relationships?

‘I really should’ve gone on one of those online dating site things and brushed up on how you ask someone out,’ Daniel said wryly.

His candour made her feel a lot better and she smiled at him. He was obviously feeling as out of his depth as she was, right now; and he obviously wasn’t taking anything for granted. ‘That makes two of us. I mean, not that I ask people out. I just haven’t dated for a while and—oh, dear.’ She grimaced. ‘I think I’m digging a hole for both of us.’

He smiled back at her. ‘I think we need to start this one again. My sister said I should just be myself and be honest.’

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