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Heart of a Soldier
Tate raised an eyebrow. His features softened. “Seems to me if it wasn’t for this soldier friend of yours, you would never have gone to that hurtful place with Cassidy.”
She fought against a rising sense of irritation with her brother. At twenty-six years old, she was responsible for her own actions. It was high time Tate stopped giving her a free pass.
“Please don’t blame Dylan. None of this is his fault.”
“So what exactly is he to you? A friend? Pen pal? Or something more?” Tate’s voice was tinged with curiosity.
Holly sighed. Tate’s question hit a sore spot. Although it was clear feelings had blossomed between the two of them over the course of more than a year, neither of them had ever laid their feelings on the line. And having a letter-writing relationship couldn’t begin to compare to a real face-to-face interaction. Other than gut instinct, she didn’t have any proof of Dylan’s feelings. She had the feeling that coming to West Falls had been his way of exploring their relationship and showing her how much he wanted them to meet one-on-one. After all, hadn’t Dylan written about wanting to say certain things to her in person? But now everything had changed. She’d been a fool to ever think she was on Dylan’s level.
“We were building toward something. I’m pretty sure that’s why he came all this way to see me.” She let out a ragged breath, releasing the weight of the world from her shoulders. “For the first time since the accident, I felt as if I was developing a romantic rapport with someone. And I got carried away with those feelings. I can admit that. It felt so good to be treated like a whole person. I just didn’t want that to end. That’s why I hid the truth from him in all of my letters.”
“Being a paraplegic doesn’t make you any less of a person.” Tate made a clucking sound. “The sight of you in a wheelchair shouldn’t send him running.”
“He has every right to be mad. And upset. And disappointed.” She lowered her head, unable to look her brother in the eye.
Tate reached down and lifted up her chin. “Don’t even go down that road. You could never be a disappointment. You’re beautiful and funny and smart, with a heart as big as the outdoors.”
“He doesn’t see a future with me.” The words clogged in her throat, and she fought the sudden urge to cry. Where had all her strength gone? Why did her insides feel like mush?
Tate scowled, looking every inch the tough Texas lawman. He clenched his jaw. “Did he say that to you?”
She swallowed. It was painful admitting the truth. “He didn’t have to, Tate. I could see it in his eyes. In the way he looked at me. All the life went out of them.”
He made a clucking sound with his tongue. “Then he’s not worth a single second more of your time.”
She could see the raw emotion on her brother’s face. It mirrored how she felt inside. Her throat clogged up. “That’s not fair. I was the one who wasn’t honest. No matter how I justified it at the time, it was wrong of me.”
Tate rocked back on his heels, his silver-tipped cowboy boots glinting in the sun. He jammed his fists into his front pockets.
“Any man would be blessed to have you.” He gazed off into the distance, his expression steely. “I worry about you, little sis. And it has nothing to do with you being in a wheelchair. You’ve worn your emotions on your sleeve ever since you were a kid. It kills me to think of someone hurting you.”
“It’s part of being alive. It happens when you live life.” She shrugged. “Let’s face it. It comes with the territory. Even tough lawmen like you aren’t immune to it.”
Tate swung his gaze back in her direction. His eyes were moist. “You’ve always been a wise soul, do you know that? Even when we were kids and I was trying to protect you from the world, you always had a strong head on your shoulders. You never really needed me to fight your battles, did you?”
Holly chuckled as memories of her overprotective brother ran through her mind. “Nope, I didn’t. But I always loved the fact that you cared enough to be my protector. It made me feel special.”
“I’ll never give up that role, you know,” Tate said with a smirk. “It’s a lifelong assignment.”
Holly playfully rolled her eyes. “I can’t wait till you and Cassidy get married and have a house full of kids. You’ll be so busy chasing after them you won’t have time to watch over me.”
The thought of it made her a little wistful. Would she ever have a husband and a house full of kids? Or would she be relegated to the role of spinster auntie? Even before the accident, she’d always dreamed of rocking a baby to sleep in her arms. Now that might never happen. Was it realistic to dream of things that might not come to pass?
“It’s hard to believe we’re finally getting married.” His larger-than-life grin was threatening to take over his entire face. It was nice to see Tate so overjoyed and on the verge of having all his dreams come to fruition. For a few minutes the two of them simply savored the moment, basking in the promise of tomorrow. Each and every day, Holly found great inspiration in Tate and Cassidy’s love story. It kept her hoping and dreaming and praying. Perhaps she, too, would find her happily ever after.
“By the way, Dylan’s not running.” She tried to keep her tone conversational, despite the rapid quickening of her pulse. “For the next few months, anyway, he’s sticking around in West Falls.”
Her brother raised an eyebrow. “So what does that mean for the two of you?”
“We’re just friends,” she said. “I even told him to apply for a job here at the ranch. He’s plenty qualified.”
Tate furrowed his brow. “You’re okay with him working here?”
She nodded her head vigorously. “I think it would be great. Hopefully I’ll get the chance to win back his trust, if he’ll allow me to.”
Even though her statement was technically true about being in the friend zone with Dylan, she couldn’t deny the rush of adrenaline she felt at the mere thought of him. Dylan Hart, her gorgeous, green-eyed pen pal. Her brave soldier. The man who’d traveled all the way from Oklahoma to see her, based on the connection they’d established.
For a woman who’d fought tooth and nail to rebuild her life after losing the ability to walk, it didn’t feel good to feel so conflicted. She wished she could turn back time and rewrite all the letters she’d sent to Dylan. This time around she wouldn’t hesitate to tell him the truth. Pressing her eyes closed, she prayed that she might have the opportunity to show Dylan she was the kind of woman he’d believed her to be before he’d arrived in West Falls.
Chapter Four
Dylan revved the engine of his truck, hoping the loud noise would rid his mind of all the chaotic thoughts swirling around him. The urge to leave Horseshoe Bend Ranch felt overwhelming. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, letting out a low groan as he did so. Frustration speared him. Why would God allow a young girl to lose the use of her legs? Why did things like this happen?
The feelings of helplessness roared through him like thunder. It was the same question he’d pondered when Benji and Simon Akol had been killed in such a senseless, violent way. Where was He that day? In the days following Benji’s and Simon’s deaths, he’d been flat on his back, recovering from a broken neck, a hairline skull fracture and facial lacerations. For endless hours he’d replayed the explosion in his mind—the wreckage, the blood, the cries of pain, which still rang out in his ears. All the while he’d had no clue that two members of his squad had been killed, wiped out in a single deadly blast. His focus had been on staying alive.
Dark memories swept over him, threatening to take him to a place he didn’t want to revisit. He’d tried so hard to forget the feelings of despair that had consumed him in the days and weeks after the bomb blast. And the fear of the unknown. He didn’t want to lash out at God, not when he’d come so far on his spiritual journey. Although he still had a ways to go, he knew he’d turned a corner two and a half years ago. There was no way he was going back to that place in time when he’d been a nonbeliever.
Pressing his eyes closed, he tried to stop the flood of images from rushing through his mind. He didn’t like to go back to those moments when dread had been ever present. It made him feel vulnerable and weak and not in control of his own destiny.
Son, you may never walk again. The military chaplain had clasped his hand and broken the news to him in the most compassionate way possible. He’d completely broken down, unable to comprehend a life without the use of his legs. During the bleakest days of his life, his mother had been at his side. They’d prayed together, asking God to grant him mercy and healing. In the end, once all the swelling subsided, he’d experienced sensation in his toes. From there he’d endured months of physical therapy, resulting in his regaining 100 percent function.
As the beautiful West Falls landscape passed by his window, a feeling of uncertainty grabbed hold of him. What am I doing here? I thought by coming to West Falls I was following a path that would lead me toward the next chapter of my life. Had this entire journey been nothing more than a pipe dream? A rash, foolish mistake?
The downtown area of West Falls was a vibrant section filled with quaint businesses. It looked like something one might see on a festive postcard. Colorful awnings, old-fashioned lampposts, kids skipping along the sidewalk. The Bowlarama caught his eye. Bowling had been one of his favorite pastimes as a kid growing up in Madden. For some reason Holly’s image flashed before his eyes, and he wondered if she bowled. Was it even possible?
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