Heart of a Soldier

“You scared me with that phone call. What’s going on?” Cassidy asked as she stepped over the threshold. She held out Dylan’s letter to Holly. “You must have dropped this. I found it next to the mailbox.”

Holly pushed the door closed and wheeled around so she could face Cassidy. She reached for the letter, stuffing it down into her skirt pocket. She took a deep breath.

“Do you remember me telling you about Dylan? The soldier I write to?”

“Of course. He’s stationed in Afghanistan, right?”

Holly nodded. “Yes, he was. But he’s stateside now. He arrived in West Falls today.”

“That’s amazing!” Cassidy squealed. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

Holly stared blankly at her best friend. In her opinion there was absolutely nothing to celebrate, although Cassidy had no way of knowing it.

Cassidy frowned, her eyes filled with concern. “What’s the matter? You look as if someone died. I thought you’d be celebrating instead of moping around the house.”

Holly looked down, too overcome with shame to look Cassidy in the eye. “Cass, I messed up. I didn’t tell him about my being a paraplegic.”

Cassidy’s eyes bulged, and she shook her head in disbelief. After a few seconds she said, “Tell me everything.”

Holly quickly got Cassidy up to speed on Dylan’s unexpected visit and her pretense about being Cassidy.

“But how could you pretend to be me? We don’t look anything alike. I thought you two sent pictures back and forth,” Cassidy asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“I kept meaning to send a photo, but I never did. It was difficult to send him a picture without having told him I’m a paraplegic.” Holly let out a bitter laugh. “Of course, when he showed up here he wasn’t expecting to see his pen pal confined to a wheelchair, since I conveniently left that part out.”

Cassidy looked agitated. She bit her lip and ran her fingers through her long hair. “What are you going to do?”

Holly was wringing her hands. She looked up at Cassidy, squashing down the spark of jealousy she felt as she gazed at her beautiful and able-bodied friend. Cassidy’s calves were shapely, while hers lacked any muscle tone whatsoever. What she wouldn’t give to be able to walk into a room under her own steam instead of always making an entrance by way of her wheelchair. She let out a deep sigh. What was the point of comparing herself to her best friend? She chided herself. Feeling envy wasn’t going to change a thing. It wouldn’t make her something she wasn’t or somebody she could never be.

“I need you to pretend to be me, Cass. Just long enough so you can end things with him and send him on his way. He’ll never know that you’re not me.” The words tumbled out of Holly’s mouth at a rapid speed. Intuition told her that it was only a matter of time before Dylan came back to the ranch. He’d had a look of determination and purpose in his eyes. She needed to fix things quickly. Cassidy frowned. “Holly. You can’t be serious. Why in the world would you want me to pretend to be you?”

Tears pricked her eyes. “I need you to do this for me, Cass. Seriously. I want Dylan to leave West Falls and go back home to Oklahoma. This is the only way!” She was starting to feel desperate, as if the walls were closing in on her.

Cassidy frowned. “Tricking him isn’t the answer. Why can’t you just tell him the truth?”

Heat seared her cheeks. “Because I can’t face him. I never told him I’m in a wheelchair, that I’m paralyzed from the waist down. How do you think he’s going to feel after coming all this way to see me?”

“You’re the bravest person I know. Find your words and tell him the truth. If he’s as wonderful as you say he is, he’ll understand.”

“This is different. Dylan is... He’s everything. Smart. Brave. Gorgeous.”

Cassidy’s brow was furrowed. “And you’re all those things, Holly.”

Holly shook her head. “No, I’m not, Cass. You don’t understand. He’s a soldier. The world he lives in is a very physical world. He breaks in wild horses, rides mountain bikes, does marathons. He protects America from harm. He’s a hero.”

“And you’re pretty heroic, too. You’ve lived through a horrific accident that cost you the use of your legs. You’ve devoted your life to getting the message out about irresponsible teen driving. You’re a woman of faith, Holly. All those things make you an amazing woman.”

Although she loved Cassidy like a sister, she didn’t want to hear any of this at the moment. It didn’t matter how many times people told her she was brave and wonderful. She didn’t feel either of those things. Not at the moment. Not when Dylan was most likely on his way back to the ranch to meet up with her. There was no way she could look him in the eye and admit her lies. She needed to get herself straightened out before he showed up.

“Please, Cassidy. I need you to be me when Dylan comes back,” she begged in a panicked voice. “You owe me.”

The ominous words hung in the air between them. Cassidy’s face lost all of its color, and her mouth tightened in a firm line. As soon as the words had tumbled out of her mouth, Holly had deeply regretted them. Cassidy had just come back into her life after an eight-year absence. In the past six months they’d rebuilt a friendship that had been ruined in the aftermath of the accident that had left Holly paralyzed. Cassidy had been at the wheel at the time, and she’d fled West Falls rather than face the town’s censure. It had taken a lot of hard work and prayer to get things back to where they once were with their friendship.

Now, due to overwhelming fear, Holly found herself in an awkward position. With three thoughtless words she’d dredged up their painful past and made Cassidy feel as if she were still harboring a grudge. In reality she, along with Cassidy’s cousin, Regina Blake, and their childhood friend, Jenna Keegan, all shared in the responsibility. They’d all participated in the reckless-driving game, although Cassidy had taken the fall since she’d been at the wheel when the car had slid off the road. One could make the argument that she, in fact, owed Cassidy everything for having single-handedly shouldered the blame for eight long years.

Before she could apologize, a knock sounded at the door. Holly jerked her head in the direction of the front door, then looked over at Cassidy. Her friend’s eyes were wide with alarm, and she was shaking her head back and forth.

“Please, Cassidy. Just pretend to be me. Tell him you started seeing someone, that you’re really sorry but it’s over,” Holly whispered. She felt weak begging Cassidy to do something she knew was wrong, but a part of her didn’t care. Right now all she cared about was making sure Dylan didn’t figure out his pen pal was confined to a wheelchair.

“Tell the truth, Holly. Before this whole thing spirals out of control,” Cassidy said, her eyes full of disappointment.

Feeling defiant, Holly wheeled over to the door and yanked it open. All of the air rushed out of her lungs the moment she saw Dylan. He was wearing a black cowboy hat, but he quickly took it off and placed it by his side. She noticed he’d switched up his clothes and taken a shower. His hair was still slightly damp, and he was wearing a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. His arms were heavily muscled and toned. Once again, she was hit with the full impact of Dylan’s physicality. He looked as if he belonged on the cover of a men’s fitness magazine or on television as the star of a healthy-living commercial. All at once it hit her smack on the head. There was no way she belonged in his world. For the past year she’d been living in a world of denial, clinging to a kernel of hope about a possible future with this impossibly perfect man. In his arms was a bouquet of yellow roses and white stargazer lilies, her favorite flowers. Somehow he’d remembered from her letters. She felt a pang run through her at his thoughtfulness. How she wanted to reach out and accept his offering and press her nose against the fragrant blooms.

“Is she back yet?” Dylan asked, his expressive eyes radiating enthusiasm.

With a lump in her throat, all she could do was nod and gesture toward the inside of the house. His handsome face lit up with a wide grin. She smiled at him, feeling light-headed at the sight of his tall, muscular frame. But he wasn’t smiling at her. He was looking past her, straight at Cassidy. And he was beaming so widely it almost overtook his whole face. She felt her chest tighten painfully. Loss—sharp and swift—flooded her. How could it be this painful to lose something she’d never truly had in the first place? Sucking in a ragged breath, she invited him inside, then watched as he walked across the threshold and beat a fast path toward her best friend.

Chapter Two

“Holly! Is it you?” Dylan made his way across the foyer in two quick strides. Cassidy nodded her head in acknowledgment. Holly watched as Dylan wrapped his arms around Cassidy in a warm embrace. She felt her insides lurch as she observed Dylan’s intimate gesture. He was so full of life, so enthusiastic and joyful. Watching him was like seeing a force of nature in motion. Her best friend, on the other hand, was acting standoffish. She wasn’t hugging Dylan back, and her body language was as stiff as a board. Her expressive face was giving away too much. Maybe it was simply because she knew her so well that she could tell Cassidy looked conflicted and ill at ease. Her pulse started beating at a rapid pace. If Cassidy couldn’t pull this off, she’d be forced to explain it all to Dylan. The very thought of it made her palms sweat.

A part of her couldn’t help but feel cheated as she watched Dylan’s interaction with her best friend. This embrace should have been hers. His gorgeous smile, which lit the room up like sunshine, should have been directed at her. And maybe it would have been, she thought. If only she had been honest with him from the beginning. Perhaps things could have been different.

Cassidy stepped away from the hug, her face paler than usual, her eyes drifting nervously away from Dylan and toward Holly. She seemed as if she was in pain. Guilt speared through her at the agony on her best friend’s face. She looked as if she’d rather go swimming with sharks than follow through with this meeting.

“This has been a long time coming.” Dylan’s voice was infused with sweetness. To Holly it sounded like the sweet sound of rain after a long drought. For a moment she let it wash over her, rejoicing in the rich timbre of it. He held out the bouquet of flowers, saying, “These are for you,” as he handed them over.

“Thank you. They’re gorgeous,” Cassidy said stiffly, reaching out and accepting the stunning flowers.

Dylan grinned, showcasing a pair of dazzling dimples. “I hope you’re not upset with me for showing up here in West Falls. I’m not usually a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants guy, but I couldn’t help myself. The way you described your hometown made me want to see it for myself.”

“It’s definitely unexpected,” Cassidy answered, shooting Holly a meaningful look.

Holly tried to nod discreetly in Cassidy’s direction, wanting to encourage her to act normal, but she felt Dylan’s gaze land on her. He seemed to have the instincts of a hawk, paying close attention to everything around him. As a soldier, he’d probably honed those skills as a means of survival.

Dylan frowned. “Did I interrupt y’all in the middle of something?”

“No, of course not,” Holly said smoothly, her eyes now focused on Dylan’s face.

“It’s fine. We were just shooting the breeze,” Cassidy added. “Would you like something to drink? Some sweet tea or lemonade?”

“I’d love some sweet tea,” he answered, looking grateful for the offer.

“Sure thing. It’ll give me a chance to put these flowers in a vase.” Cassidy scurried off toward the kitchen, as if she couldn’t wait to escape, leaving the two of them all by themselves.

“Why don’t you make yourself comfortable in the living room.” Holly gestured toward the doorway leading to the foyer. Following behind him, she quickly maneuvered her wheelchair into the room. As Dylan folded his tall, rugged body into a leather armchair, her gaze was drawn to the dog tags hanging around his neck.

Filled with curiosity, she blurted, “Are those your tags?”

Dylan reached up and lightly fingered the tags, his face contemplative as he answered. “Just one of ’em is mine. The other one belonged to one of my buddies who died over in Afghanistan.”

Died? He must be referring to Benji, the soldier he’d written about in one of his letters. At only eighteen years old, he’d been among the youngest soldiers in the unit. From what she remembered, he’d been killed instantly when their Humvee had been blown up by a roadside bomb. Dylan had been seriously injured as well, but thankfully had rebounded from those injuries. The attack had occurred before they’d started writing each other, and Dylan was very close lipped about it and his subsequent hospitalization and recovery.

Cassidy returned with a tray of drinks and some slices of homemade pumpkin bread. Like a perfect hostess, she served the refreshments, then plopped down onto the sofa directly across from Dylan. Holly discreetly watched him as he thirstily downed the contents of the glass. It was almost impossible to tear her gaze away from him. She felt like a starving person sitting down at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Dylan, in all his cowboy/soldier glory was a sight for sore eyes.

“Horseshoe Bend Ranch is spectacular,” he raved, his eyes wide with admiration. “I can’t say as I’ve ever seen a finer spread.” His tone was filled with awe.

“It’s the largest and most profitable horse-and-cattle-breeding operation in this part of the state.” The words rolled off Holly’s tongue like quicksilver. She wanted to clap her hands over her mouth to stop herself from inserting herself into the conversation. It wasn’t her place to crow about the family ranch. That might raise a red flag in Dylan’s eyes.

Dylan grinned at her. “I’m not at all surprised to hear that.” He turned his gaze toward Cassidy. “It must make you feel proud knowing what your family has achieved.”

“Yes, the Lynches are a hardworking bunch,” Cassidy acknowledged. “It’s impossible not to feel proud of them.”

Holly flashed a smile in her soon-to-be sister-in-law’s direction. Her best friend was incredibly sweet and loyal. As far as she was concerned, Cassidy was going to be a perfect addition to the Lynch clan. If Cassidy and Tate would only set a date and put everyone out of their misery!

“So I was thinking you might like to grab a bite to eat in town,” Dylan said, his face full of expectation. “It’ll give us a chance to talk for a spell.”

White teeth flashed against his sun-burnished skin, causing a little hitch in her heart at the beauty of his smile.

Cassidy pressed her fingertips against her head. “Dylan, I—I’m not feeling too well.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “I’m so happy you stopped by, but I think it might be better if we catch up another time.”

Dylan’s face fell. He recovered quickly, plastering a smile on his face. “Sure thing. Why don’t I swing by tomorrow. I think I’ll head back to town and grab something to eat. Doc tells me I have a standing invitation at his diner.”

Dylan stood up, placing his empty glass down on the tray before reaching for his Stetson and resting it against his chest.

The look on Dylan’s face took her breath away. He looked confused. And crushed. Some of the light went out of his eyes. Holly wanted to wrap her arms around him and soothe his disappointment. Although he appeared to be as tough as nails on the outside, with his rugged appearance and soldier’s swagger, she knew all too well about his tender side. And even though she felt a twinge of annoyance toward Cassidy for going off script, she knew all the blame for this entire fiasco lay at her feet. She’d done this. Her insecurities about believing a man could fall for her had led her down this path. For more than twelve months she’d neglected to tell him her most basic truth. And now it was all unraveling, bit by bit.

Of course, it had all begun innocently enough. Pastor Blake had started a pen-pal program so the members of Main Street Church could correspond with soldiers serving in Afghanistan. Wanting to show her support for the brave men and women of the armed forces, she’d quickly signed up. From the very beginning she’d felt a connection with the brave soldier from Madden, Oklahoma. They’d shared their hopes and dreams, as well as favorite movies, stories about their pets and best-loved ice cream flavors. She’d shared tidbits with him about life in West Falls and the joys of Horseshoe Bend Ranch, as well as her loving family.

In turn, he’d described a soldier’s day-to-day life in Afghanistan, the triumphs, the tragedies and the struggles. He’d written her about his wonderful mother, who’d raised him as a single parent. One letter led to another until they were receiving letters from each other on a weekly basis. Somehow, without her even realizing it, Dylan Hart had become a huge part of her life. As the door closed behind Dylan, a feeling of emptiness swept through her like a strong gust of wind. A longing to call out to him, to stop him in his tracks so she could make him stay longer, rose up inside her. After so many nights lying awake, thinking about her green-eyed soldier, it was agonizing knowing she would never be able to face him as Holly Lynch. As much as she wished it wasn’t true, Dylan Hart would forever be out of her reach.

* * *

Dylan didn’t know how to explain the feelings roaring through him as he headed out the gates of Horseshoe Bend Ranch. He felt like a deflated balloon. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he felt so disappointed. Holly was gorgeous. Stunning. Any normal, red-blooded man would take one look at her and thank the Lord above for placing her in his orbit. But when he’d finally come face-to-face with her, there had been no kismet, no spark. Nothing special. She hadn’t even seemed stoked to see him.

Could he have been so wrong about their connection? She’d been much quieter than he’d ever imagined. In her letters, her lively personality had practically jumped off the page. In person, Holly hadn’t been at all as he’d imagined. Something felt off between them. There hadn’t been a feeling of recognition when he met her. Not at all. Not even for a single minute. Although he knew it would take some time for them to adjust to each other, things still should have flowed more effortlessly between them. There had been no attraction, no pull in her direction. And she wasn’t at all like he’d expected her to be. She was skittish and nervous. When he’d moved to pull her into a hug, she’d stood there like a statue, still and unmoving. She hadn’t even hugged him back. She didn’t seem like the Holly he’d gotten to know over the past twelve months.

And then she’d practically rushed him out the door on the pretext of not feeling well. Not once had she asked about his living arrangements or his four-month rental with Doc Sampson. Truthfully, she hadn’t seemed all that happy to see him at Horseshoe Bend Ranch. Disappointment filled him, leaving him frustrated and full of sorrow. He’d been so sure about Holly, more certain of her than anything ever in his life. Yet now it was looking as if he’d made another gigantic mistake.

It wouldn’t be the first time, a little voice reminded him. He shook off the memory of his faithless ex-girlfriend, Shawna. It had been a long time since he’d thought about his high school sweetheart, the woman who’d dumped him after his deployment to Afghanistan. After he’d broken his neck and was laid up in a military hospital, he’d been deemed useless in her eyes. He fought against the anger swelling up inside him. There was no time in his life for people who weren’t genuine. And he refused to wallow over past hurts. He had enough scars to last a lifetime.

Please don’t let me have been so mistaken about Holly. I’ve been so wrong in the past about so many things—relationships, people, situations. Please let me find in her the strong, faithful woman I’ve been seeking. Show me I haven’t traveled all this way chasing a pipe dream.

Maybe it was just jitters from meeting each other for the first time. It could be that his expectations were way too high. And meeting someone in the flesh was a lot different than writing to one another. She had every right to be nervous, didn’t she? Perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be, he realized as a sinking sensation settled in his stomach. Being so misguided about a situation would be a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes one just got a sense of a person—who they were down to their very soul. And for the past year, he’d come to know Holly as a warm and loving, God-fearing woman. Her goodness had resonated in every letter she’d written him and wormed its way inside him, serving as a reminder of everything he wanted in a life partner.

Try as he might, he just couldn’t shake off the encounter with Holly. There was something bothering him. It was resting right under the surface, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. All of a sudden it hit him. Her eyes. They’d been a vivid green, not blue. Holly had said her eyes were blue. Or was he going crazy? And he’d noticed she was wearing a ring when she’d poured him the sweet tea. Not just any ring, he realized. It had been a diamond ring planted on the wedding finger of her left hand.

He pulled his truck over to the side of the road, his breathing shallow as he racked his brain for the facts. Had she been wearing an engagement ring? Could he have been wrong about her eye color? No, absolutely not. He remembered the words she’d written him in her letter. I’m a blue-eyed girl from West Falls, Texas.

He slammed his palm against the steering wheel. What in the world was going on? The woman he’d just seen, the one pretending to be Holly, was a fraud. Her eyes were a spectacular green. That fact, coupled with the odd way she’d been acting and the sparkly ring, was all the proof he needed. With a wild groan, he did a U-turn in the road, his tires spewing dust and rocks as he made his way back toward Horseshoe Bend Ranch. He didn’t know who was trying to make a fool out of him, but he was surely going to find out.

* * *

“That did not go so well.” Holly let out a deep sigh. Things had not unfolded the way she’d envisioned. Even though she hated the idea of tricking Dylan, the idea had come to her in a moment of absolute desperation. As an honest woman, it didn’t sit well with her that she’d taken the low road instead of coming clean to Dylan. An overwhelming feeling of fear had held her back. She now felt as helpless as a lamb.

“Holly, I’m sorry. I tried, but I—” Cassidy grimaced and shook her head. “I just couldn’t pull it off the way you wanted. It didn’t feel right giving him the brush-off.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m responsible.” Her tone was clipped. She saw the look of dismay on her best friend’s face. She didn’t mean to be so abrupt, but she was feeling so wounded. It hurt to lose the possibility of Dylan. Even though they’d shared secrets and dreams ever since they were kids, she wanted to lick her wounds in private. There was no way Cassidy could ever understand what had driven her to keep her disability a secret. Most able-bodied people wouldn’t get it in a million years. All Cassidy had to do was walk in a room to have all male eyes drawn to her like moths to a flame. Ever since the accident she’d been single. Alone. For eight long years she hadn’t gone out on a date or shared a sweet, tender kiss with a single soul. There had been nobody to hold hands with or catch a movie with at the drive-in. She’d hadn’t received flowers on Valentine’s Day or kissed anyone under the mistletoe. Although she’d felt the stirrings of something with Deputy Cullen Brand, they’d never managed to get out of the friend zone. And considering the fact that he worked closely with Tate in the sheriff’s office, in the long run it might have been a little awkward.

Becoming Dylan’s correspondent had allowed her a rare opportunity to connect with someone without her physical condition being front and center. Living in a small town like West Falls where everyone knew her whole life story felt limiting at times. And she’d wanted to experience romance. Pure, wondrous romance.