The bull and the butterfly

Jean doesn’t say anything to Elona, because he’s sure that he won’t even be accepted as an extra, and in his heart of hearts, he’s even glad about it. But Jean really doesn’t like Elona’s position on this issue, he would much rather have Elona use a dominant position in bed than in life. But for her, the role of a rider was more like in life, and Jean can’t do anything about it. Despite his rather young age for a man, Jean already wants to get married and start a family, he wants children. But Elona doesn’t need any of that. All she wants is money and fame. She really believes that someone is waiting for her in Moscow. Previously, she considered Jean as a temporary option, but then she somehow got used to it, she even stopped noticing his dark skin color and his bright soul. For her, everything was equally gray, except for the bright alluring and glowing night lights of Moscow.

Jean pretends to be offended. Jean doesn’t look at Elona, but lowers his head as if he’s offended, and Elona finds that annoying.

«Jean, my little black baby, look at me,» Elona tells him. «Or is your neck completely broken?» Look at me and saysomething in your huge mouth.

Jean is silent. He hates it when Elona calls him baby boy, and Elona knows it. She says that on purpose to annoy him.

«Jean, why are you so offended? Elona is still sitting on the carpet and on the floor. – What’s wrong with you pouting like a mouse on its rump?» Like a black mouse on a black rump, «Elona adds, smiling. – Or are you afraid that if you start talking, black words will come out of your mouth?» Elona laughs.

Jean doesn’t like that the subject of Elona’s ridicule is his skin color. He had grown tired of these jokes in his entire life.

«I think it’s beneath me to answer your questions,» Jean says, and stands up abruptly.

– Yes, much lower, – almost immediately retorts Elona displeased. – I haven’t seen your high dignity in a while.»

Jean leaves the room, realizing that his entire life together with Elona consists of small and big scandals, and one scandal after another, like trailers. But why does it seem to Jean now that the train of their relationship is going nowhere, and he periodically wants to get off this train at the first stop? And sometimes even jump out of it on the move.

8

«Yeah, shut up, Mom’s not home,» Eve says to her phone, which is bursting with calls.

Eva has an old cell phone with peeling paint around the edges. His name is Fedya, although more often Eva calls him Fedunchik. Eve often gives things names that have served her for a long time, because it’s more interesting for Eve to live that way. In part, she animates them, because she is very lonely and has no children. She doesn’t want to change it, because she got used to it, got attached to it, and it became like her own.

«Well, shut up,» she says to the phone in her pocket, which won’t stop ringing. «Ah, Jean, Jean, my dear Jean,» Eve says, snapping the seeds. – And why sobstvenno Zhan, this is somehow not in Russian, you can even say not in Christian, can I just call you Vanka? Now, Vanya, if I wasn’t married to art, «she continues, not waiting for an answer,» you wouldn’t have untangled yourself from the mighty web of my bed sheets ever.

Jean doesn’t understand why she’s talking to the phone, or why she won’t turn it off if it’s bothering her. Jean is embarrassed. He didn’t know that Eve would talk to him like that and snap seeds at the same time. It reminds him of a huge car by the click of seeds. Eva is completely engrossed in devouring the sunflower seeds, only occasionally glancing at Jean from under her un-plucked eyebrows. And those stares go right through him like lightning. The interview with Eva is more like a monologue from Eva, because Jean is silent all the time.

«All right, asshole, call me if you like it better,» Eve says to the phone. «I can see you don’t really want to impress me,» Eve says, turning to Jean and burping suddenly. Eva burps because her stomach is working too well. «I’m sorry,» Eve says, not at all embarrassed that she made that sound in front of a young man, as if there’s only one law that applies to her: what’s natural isn’t ugly. – I publish burps in millions of copies, instead of smiles. Age obliges, «Eve jokes, and Jean is almost shocked by the joke. «I’m sorry you don’t want to seduce me, it’s a little upsetting,» Eve says in a mannerized voice, as if she’s a little offended by it, and Jean doesn’t know if she’s joking or serious. «After all, in order to be in my good graces, all you have to do is have some less – than-ordinary sexual abilities,» Eve says, popping another seed into her mouth and giving Jean a sly look. «I’ve been told so much about you,» she shakes her head.

Jean doesn’t want to ask what exactly they told her, he’s afraid, because Elona can say anything about him. Everything that happens reminds him of a dream, and Jean just waits for it to end. Eva likes to shock, and Eva shocks Jean, and then looks at his reaction and rejoices, enjoying the fruits of her shock. She likes to shock with her words and behavior. That’s why Eva really likes meeting new people who don’t know what to expect from her yet.

«Dead,» Eve says as the calls stop. «Do you like sunflower seeds?» Eva asks him at a job interview where she should be more interested in his acting skills. But Eva always had her own style and method.

«Not really,» says Jean, dejectedly.

«Okay,» Eve says, not at all surprised by his answer. – I don’t like them either, but what’s so good about them?“ Your hands get bad if you snap them, your teeth get bad if you snap them, and there’s a lot of garbage from them. But what if they were the only ones who could kill time so well? You know, I’m a professional time killer, and sunflower seeds are my favorite weapon, „Eva laughs, setting up a one-man theater where she plays.

«Shall I go?» Jean asks a little shyly, not wanting to offend this extravagant lady.

«Well, go on, go on, sexy,» Eve says, looking at him intently, still snapping the seeds. «Oh, by the way, you’ve been taken,» she says to Jean.– The interview was completed successfully.

Jean looks at Eva in horror, trying to tell Eva that he doesn’t understand her. He doesn’t understand that Eva calls cute guys sexy for the simple reason that she just doesn’t know what else to do with them, especially if they’re actors in her theater. But Jean now clearly understandsthat he does not want to work in the theater and wants to tell her about it right now. Before it’s too late. Butsuddenly her phone starts ringing again, and she reaches into her pocket for it, thinking that her conversation with Jeanis already over. Jean doesn’t dare disturb her, so after a moment of confusion, he leaves.

«Well, why should I call so insistently, if you are not uniformed donkeys! Eve says into the phone, and that’s the last thing Jean hears before he leaves the room.

9

Lenochka’s hand is propping up her head, and Lenochka’s head is resting on her elbow. And this head is of great value to Lenochka at the moment, because in this head, as on a forgotten planet, only one image is spinning – the wire silhouette of a person. Lenochka had just heard about this image on the phone from her God, her queen, and part-time director named Eva. Now it’s not just the head of a single female individual, but the head of a single female individual, filled with the task received from Eve. Therefore, Lenochka takes care of this head, she even put it on her elbow, as on a pedestal, and this head is now working on what the Great Eva told her.

Lenochka is an assistant director, and since Eva is a God for Lenochka, she can rightfully consider herself an assistant to God. Lenochka is twenty-five years old and married, but she is not very interested in this, because all her interest lies in the field of theater and serving him and Eve. A sense of belonging to the creative act is what Lenochka is looking for with all her heart and what Lenochka is striving for. In the theater, she allows herself to be called Lenochka, but when she comes home, everything changes. Lenochka does not allow you to doubt that she is Elena, cold and domineering, and no matter what gait her husband walks around the room, it can be called walking on tiptoe. You should be afraid of Lenochka, you should be afraid to interfere with her thoughts, she put herself in this way, because even at home she lives in the theater and thinks about it in full force.

– Alain, where are the cutlets and ketchup? Did you buy it? – Lena’s hungry husband Igor asks in bewilderment.

Igor calls his wife Lenochka, Lena, Alena, he likes it better, because in the name of Alena and Lena, according to Igor, there is much more femininity and domesticity, which his wife lacks so much. But in fact, Lena is not her name at all, according to her passport, she is Lera. Igor was very confused by the letter «er» in his wife’s name, so he decided to replace it. With this name, he tries to correct her character, to inform him of the missing qualities. After all, how many beautiful examples: Elena the Beautiful, Elena the Wise, Alyonushka-there is something to strive for. Lenochka, who was born Lerochka, in general, does not mind. She doesn’t care at all, so she still lives under a false name, and everyone calls her by that name. She was used to it, and had long ago reassured herself that a wife was an actress in her husband’s theater. Even if he had called her by any other name, she wouldn’t have noticed. Such everyday details do not interest her, Lena can only be interested in real dramatic art, which can accommodate the whole world with all its versatility. Since his wife began to bear the name Lena, her character has not changed, but Igor reassures himself that if she had remained Leroy, it would have been even worse. Sometimes he feels that the letter «er», which he banned and removed from her real name, breaks free and shows itself in all its glory.

Igor is fourteen years older than Elena, and he works in a field far removed from art. They have been married for more than five years, but they do not have children together, because Elena does not want to waste time on this. In general, she married Igor in order not to waste time on love affairs and devote all her time entirely to the theater. Igor was a good way for her to save time on her personal life and give it to the theater. Lenochka wanted to love the theater and give it her time under the guise of marriage. Igor was almost the first to pay attention to the nondescript Lenochka. They lived in the same building. Igor knew Lena from childhood, she grew up before his eyes, and sometimes, looking out of the windows, he saw her walking to school. Igor could not have imagined that in some ten years he would marry this very girl when she grew up.

«No,» Elena says, furious that Igor is distracting her from her thoughts about the play. «If you want, stab me, my blood looks like ketchup too, but don’t stir it.» I think.

Elena often responds like this, she hates household chores. He starts to annoy her when he asks her for something. Igor and Elena are very different, he likes what she doesn’t like. But Igor loves her even more, because he sees mystery behind her rather ordinary appearance, and at his age this is just not enough. When the temperament declines, contemplation usually takes its place. And it is very pleasant for him to contemplate the mystery of Elena every day. Left alone with him, it is as if she sheds her ugliness and becomes for him so beloved mysterious and alluring. But with all this, Igor does not need an assistant director at home, he needs a wife, but Elena does not think of herself in any other role, except for the role of Eva’s assistant.

For a long time, Igor was considered a bad family man and a philanderer. He had a lot of women, and he knew how to seduce them, but they quickly bored him. He divorced his first wife because she found him in his own home with a mistress. From their first marriage, they had a son, also named Igor, who was already nineteen years old. When the first wife filed for divorce, Igor sincerely did not understand why she did it, as he sincerely considered infidelity as a matter of course. But with Elena, it was different, she could not get bored with him, because she could not initially be considered caught in his love net. He began to court her, to show her signs of attention, but she remained cold. Nevertheless, Elena herself suggested that he get married. She just came to his house one day and said from the doorway: «Probably the best thing for us to do would be to get married,» despite the fact that she didn’t love him and there wasn’t anything physical between them yet. Igor had no choice but to agree, because Elena conquered. It was not his flesh she had conquered, but his mind and heart. Elena’s heart could not belong to any man, because it belonged to the theater. No one could understand why Igor married her, because they were so different. Igor himself did not understand this, but it seemed to him that it simply could not be otherwise. There was only one word for it on his part, and that word was love.

– Apparently, cutlets in this life are not provided for me, – says with a sigh. He doesn’t want to react any differently to his wife’s passage about her blood and ketchup. – And instead of cutlets, he had cow cakes of fate, – Igor says thoughtfully, hoping to somehow smooth out the situation with the help of humor.

Igor always has a supply of fast food sitting on the top shelf of the hanging cabinet, because he knows that his wife is unlikely to cook him dinner more than two or four times a year. He also asked about the cutlets, not to call his wife to account, but just to start a dialogue with her. But it didn’t help, which is understandable, because now Elena, as an assistant director, is working on the main performance of her life, which will go to Moscow. Therefore, it is better not to disturb her. Igor is glad that he has a stock of instant noodles, he only wishes that he has a family happiness of instant cooking or at least just his recipe.

«She’s a genius,» Elena says thoughtfully, as if all of a sudden her secret thoughts are coming out of her mouth. «You have no idea what she came up with today,» Elena continues, referring to Eva. Elena seems to be voicing her thoughts, which have been spinning in her head for a long time. «That wire silhouette of a man standing in the wind, who can be seen right through, it’s just a godsend,» she looks up at Igor. «We need to search for him immediately. We need to find someone who can do it properly. So, «Elena says quickly, abruptly changing her tone from dreamy-wistful to dynamic-businesslike,» don’t bother me now, don’t say a word to me now, go get busy with your cutlets or read something, «Elena says quickly, waving her hand at Igor.

Elena doesn’t even look at Igor, she doesn’t even know if he’s still in the room or not. It doesn’t matter to her, she doesn’t want to spend even her mental and visual efforts on it. «I have a lot of things to do right now,» she says quickly, already opening her laptop to find the right information on finding the right wizard. – I have a lot of things to do, just a lot of things to do, «she says, very softly now, speaking her thoughts aloud as the blue screen of her laptop lights up her gray face from sleepless nights.

10

«There’s a good view of these objects from up here, but it doesn’t have the necessary degree of perversion to make me like it,» Eva says.

Eva is talking about the objects on the table. This is a salt and pepper shaker, white napkins in a yellow wicker basket.

«Perversions? Vasily asks, puzzled.

Vasily doesn’t really want to chat with anyone, but out of respect for the lady, Vasily can’t help but answer her at least something.

«Yeah, perversions, revelations,» Eve says, glaring at the salt and pepper shaker sitting on a small stand. «Perversions as revelations or revelations as perversions,» she laughs. – For me, these are pure revelations spilled in space, but many people call it perversions, so I immediately said so to make it clearer.

Eva and Vasily are sitting in the dining room. Eva doesn’t care who she sits with, so she often sits at any table. Usually, Eva chooses a table where someone is already sitting, and it is desirable that it be a man. Eva is very lonely, she wants to communicate, she wants to chat, she wants to make an impression. She wants to be looked at in the mouth, and that she clearly felt the impact of her feminine charms. Today she sat down with Vasily. Vasily likes to eat alone, but he did not object to her eating with him.

Vasily has many things to do and many daughters, and the second invariably gives rise to the first. Vasily looks to be about fifty years old, and he has to work hard to collect a dowry for his children. All his life, Vasily wanted a boy, a son, so he asked his wife to give birth to another child, himself, as a child, hoping for a miracle in the form of a long-awaited boy. As a result, Vasily had five daughters, and he loves them, probably just as much as he would love a boy, only it takes five times more effort and money to raise his daughters than a whole herd of boys. Vasily explained the presence of five daughters for himself as karma, so he works with special diligence, not being afraid of any work. Vasily is not particularly fond of art, but the theater is full of work for him that can be done with his hands, and he does it. He sets decorations, puts down parquet floors, repairs chairs and armchairs, completely without thinking about what they mean for art, he does all this for the sake of his children, because they pay for this work.

Vasily saves money, so in the dining room he allows himself quite a bit. He buys only porridge, most often buckwheat, and drinks compote. Everything else on the menu for him is excesses that he can’t afford. And in the life menu, he chooses only work and a short sleep for himself, so that he can restore his strength. Vasily is not a devout person, but he has things that are sacred to him, such as his family. He does not serve art through work, but his descendants, and this is a heavy cross for him and hard work. Therefore, Vasily’s hands are covered with rough skin, and he very rarely smiles, almost never. It seems that his mouth has even forgotten how to smile. A smile for Vasily is already something superfluous, since there is no tangible benefit and benefit from it. You can’t marry off your daughters with a smile, and you can’t collect their dowry for a smile.

«What’s wrong with them?» Vassily asks, because Eva has something to say.

He’s not really interested in this conversation, but he can even step on the throat of common sense out of politeness, especially since Eva herself is sitting next to him. Vasily has one of his daughters who wants to become an actress, so Vasily obliges himself to look interested in Eve, you never know that maybe in the future this will help him attach his daughter to the theater.

«It’s all too right. It’s too much, «Eve says, with two potato patties on her plate. – But if you take salt, – Eva takes a salt shaker, – and put it on the side, – Eva puts the salt shaker on the side, – and then put a fork on all this architecture, – Eva puts a fork on the salt shaker, it will be much better, – she smiles, creating a masterpiece.

«And what will happen?» Vasily asks, trying to look interested.

– Table heart, beating in the chest of this fork, sobs over the lopsided universe, which had so much salt that you could salt two of my cutlets, as well as a bunch of other cutlets, – Eva says with a long sigh and looking into Vasily’s eyes.

«How can she cry if she has an iron heart?» – Vasily answers unexpectedly for himself.

Vassily doesn’t know what to say, so he lowers his eyes to his plate so that she doesn’t see his confused and worried look. For Vasily, all this is nonsense. Vasily wants to start eating quickly, so that his busy mouth can justify his incorrect silence. And to Eva, who wanted to shock Vasily, it seems that in the field of metaphors this simple man has progressed much deeper than she has. And she herself is in great delight from him, bordering on shock. Indeed, she thinks, an iron fork heart is incapable of compassion.

«Golden words,» Eve tells him with theatrical pathos. – Golden words.

11

Eva prefers not to leave the impasse, but to take off, and take off in a red dress with a red fur cape. And the more red, the better. When Eva puts on a searing red fur coat or cape, she acts as if she’s just put on the first rag she sees. And when Eva really puts on the first thing that comes to hand, she begins to wear it with a special grace and grace, as if this outfit has a sacred meaning, and she chose it for a long time. Eve has a game in it that begs to be played out in any situation.

Dead end for Eva is a concept that is deeply connected with creativity. Moreover, the more powerful this deadlock is, the better. Because the more global a dead end is, the higher the take-off, and it is on such dead ends and take-offs, according to Eva, that art is based, it is based on the wave created by a sharp change of events. Eva, in her own directorial way, is glad of the dead end, glad of the thrill of the dead end. And the sharper the better. After all, in order to escape from it, you must first get into it. And now Eva is at a dead end, she does not know what to do next in the play, it «got up», and life in it froze. Eva understands that the situation is hinting to her that she needs to gather all her strength for takeoff. She understands this very well, because she has devoted her entire adult life to this work. Eva is aware of the given impasse, which means that a breakthrough is coming soon. Eva feels it, even things don’t listen to her, everything falls out of her hands, announcing that the end is coming and at the same time the beginning of something new. The beginning of a new step, a new flap of wings, a new upward movement towards the truth.

Eva’s red fur cape smells like perfume. This perfume is called «Red Moscow». Eva has been smothering them all her life because she doesn’t want to look for something new. She looks for a lot in art to spend more energy on the search for something new for life. In life, Eva is a monolith and a retrograde, and she is proud of it. Many people are already used to the fact that Eva dresses extravagantly, but some people are discouraged by such «don’t understand what» appearances. For example, this red dress and cape are already a hundred years old at lunchtime, it already smells of mothballs and is morally outdated, but this, in Eva’s opinion, should not concern anyone. She likes it so much. Eva didn’t dress like this for herself or for the audience, she dressed like this for the theater in which she serves. She’s dressed like this to meet the revelation and take off from the impasse she anticipates.

«My God, there’s so much fire! There’s an ocean of fire here! An elderly man greets Eve. «Greetings, my angel, my soul, my queen!» The red queen! Sidor bows like an old man, trying not to betray how hard it is for him to do this, before Eva and kisses her hand. The whole process takes just over a minute.

Sidor is eighty-four years old and an old actor. In fact, according to the passport, he is not Sidor. Sidor is his pseudonym, or rather it is a name formed from his surname Sidorov. But this name has grown so attached to him that Sidor himself does not remember his real name. There are no roles for him anymore, although he really wants to play. Sometimes he comes to the theater just to sit quietly in the audience and remember his youth. After his wife died, that’s all he cares about. He is devoted to this theater with all his heart. He remembers Eva when she was a little girl and used to disappear here for days and nights. Back then, he was Eve’s idol. Now that Sidor has become a shriveled, frail, dried-up old man, he only regrets one thing that he never played Korol Lear. And now it is very painful for him to think about it, because where is Shakespeare, and where is he with his diapers, daily pills and approaching him, like artillery, «ducks». Old age makes fun of him, it mocks his spirit, which is still young and wants to live.

«I’ll take the queen,» Eve says, giving Sidor a stern but sly look, «and the angel is still a long way from me.» The nose isn’t big enough, «Eve says with an ironic smile, as thermonuclear energy flies through her.