A dialoge or communication of two persons

Ogy. You gesse well, how beit exercyse & vse helpeth moche, for euyn the same he dothe oftentymes. He brought vs agayne in to the crowdes. Our lady hathe ther an habitacyon, but somwhat darke, closed rownde aboute with double yren grats.

Me. What feared she?

Ogy. Nothinge I trow, except theues. For I saw neuer any thing more laden with riches synse I was borne of my mother.

Me. You show vnto me blinde ryches.

Ogy. Whê they brought vs candells we saw a sight passynge ye ryches of any kynge.

Me. Dothe it excede our lady of walsyngã?

Ogy. To loke vpõ this, is richer, the secret tresure she knoweth her selfe, but this is not shewede, but to great men, or to specyall frendes. At the last we were brought agayne in to the reuettry, there was taken out a cofer couered with blacke lether, it was sett downe apon the table, it was sett open, by and by euery body kneled downe and worshipyd.

Me. What was in it?

Ogy. Certayne torne ragges of lynnen clothe, many hauynge yet remaynynge in them the token of the fylthe of the holy mannes nose. With these (as they say) saynt Thomas dyd wype a way the swett of hys face or hys neke, ye fylthe of hys nose, or other lyke fylthynes with whiche mannes body dothe abownde. Then my companyon Gratian, yet ones agayn, got hym but smalle fauour. Unto hym an Englyshe man and of famylyare acquayntenance and besyde that, a man of no smalle authorite, the Prior gaff gentylly one of the lynnê ragges, thynkynge to haue gyuen a gyfte very acceptable & pleasaunt, But Gratian there with lyttle plea sede and content, not with out an euydent synge of dyspleasure, toke one of them betwene hys fyngers, and dysdaynyngly layd it down agayne, made a mocke and a mow at it, after the maner of puppettes, for thys was hys maner, if any thing lykede hym not, yt he thought worthy to be despysede. Wher at I was bothe ashamed and wonderously afrayed. Not withstondynge the Prior as he is a man not at all dull wytted, dyd dyssemble the matter, & after he had caused vs drinke a cuppe of wyne, gentylly he let vs departe. When we came agayne to London.

Me. What shuld ye do at Londo: seynge ye were not farre from the see cost, to seale in to yowr cuntre?

Ogy. It is true. But that see cost I refused and gladely dyd fle from it, as from a place that is noted and more euyl spoken of it, for robbyng, stelynge, and vntrue dealynge, then is of dangerouse ioperdy in the see, be that hyll Malea wher many shyppes be drowned & vtterly destroyed for euer. I wyll tell the what I dyd se the last passage, at my commynge ouer. We were many caryed in a bote frome Calys shore to go to the shyppe. Amongest vs all was a pour yõge mã of Fraûce, and barely appayrelled. Of hym he demauuded halfe a grote. For so moche thay dow take and exacte of euery one for so smalle a way rowynge. He allegede pouerty, then for ther pastyme thay searched hym, plucked of his shoes, and betwene the shoo and the soule, thay fownde .x. or .xii. grotes, thay toke thê from hym laughyng at the mater: mockinge and scornyng the poer & myserable Frenchman.

Me. What dyd ye fellow than?

Ogy.What thyng dyd he? He wept.

Me. Whether dyd they thys by any authoryte?

Ogy. Suerly by the same authoryte that thay steyle and pycke straungers males and bowgettes, by the whiche they take a way mennes pursys, if they se tyme and place conuenyent.

Me. I meruayll that they dare be so bold to doo soch a dede, so many lokynge vpon them.

Ogy. They be so accustomed, that they thynk it well done. Many that were in the shyp lokede owt and sawe it also, in the bote were dyuerse Englyshe marchauntes, whiche grudged agaynst it, but all in vayne. The botemê as it had ben a tryflyng mater reiosed and were glade that they had so taken and handelyd the myserable Frenchman.

Me. I wold play and sporte with these see theues, & hange them vpon the gallowes.

Ogy. Yet of such both the shores swarme full. Here tell me, I pray the. What wyll great mê do, whê theues take vpõ them to enterpryse soch masterys. Therfore, herafter I had leuer go fourty myllys aboute, thê to go yt way, thoffe it be moche shorter. Morouer euyn as ye goynge downe to hell, is easy and leyght, but ye cõmynge frome thens of greate dyffyculty, so to take shyppynge of this syde the see, is not very easy, and the landynge very hard & dangeroufe. Ther was at London dyuerse maryners of Antwerpe, with them I purposed to take the see.

Me. Hathe that cûtre so holy maryners?

Ogy. As an ape is euer an ape, I graûte, so is a maryner euer a maryner: yet if thou compare them vnto these, ye lyfe by robbynge, and pyllynge and pollynge, they be angelles.

Me. I will remembre thy saynge, if at any tyme I be dysposed to go and se Englãde. But come agayne in to ye waye, frome whens I broght the owt.

Ogy. Then as we whent toward London not farre from Canterbury, we came in to a great hollow and strayt way, morouer bowyng so downe, with hyllys of eyther syde, that a man can not escape, nor it cannot be auoyed, but he must nedes ryde that way. Upõ the lefte hand of the way, ther is an almes howse for olde people, frome them runnyth on owt, as sone as they here a horseman commynge, he casteth holy water vpon hym, and anone he offereth hym the ouerlether of a shoo bownde abowte with an yerne whope, wherin is a glasse lyke a precyouse stone, they yt kysse it gyf a pece of monay.

Me. In soche a way I had leuer haue an almes howse of olde folkes, then a company of stronge theues.

Ogy. Gratian rode vpon my lefte hande nerer the almes howse, he caste holy water vpon hym, he toke it in worthe so so, when the shoo was proferred hym, he asked what he ment by it, saythe he, it is saynt Thomas shoo. There at he turned and was very angry, & turned toward me: what (saythe he) meane these bestes, that wold haue vs kysse ye shoes of euery good man? Why doo they not lyke wyse gyue vs to kysse the spottel, & other fylthe & dyrt of the body? I was sory for the old mã, & gaue hym a pece of money to cõforthe hym with all.

Me. In myn opynyõ Gratian was not all together angry with owt a good cause. If shoes and slyppers were kept for a tokê of sobre lyuynge, I wold not be moch dyscontent ther wt, but me thynks it is a shame full fashyon for shoes, slyppers, and breches to be offered to kysse to any man. If some wold do it by there owne fre wyll, of a certene affectyõ of holynes, I thynke they were whorthy of pardon.

Ogy. It were better not to thes thynges, if I may say as I thynke, yet owt of thes thynges that cannat forthwith be amended, it is my maner if ther be any goodnes thereyn, to take it out, and apply it to the best. In ye meanseson that contemplacyõ and light delited my mynde, that a good mã is lykened to a shepe, an euyll man to a benemouse best. The serpent after she is dede, cã stynge no more, not withstondyng with her euyll sauour and poyson she infecteth and corruptyth other. The shepe as lõge as she is a lyue norryseth with her mylke, clothet with her wolle, makyth riche with her lambes, when she is deade she gyueth vs good and profytable lether, and all her body is good meat. Euen so, cruell men, gyuen all to the world, so longe as they lyue be vnprofitable to all mê, when they be deade, what with ryngyng of bellys, and pompyouse funeralles they greue them that be on lyue, and often tymes vexe ther successours with new exactyones. Good men of the other syde at all assais be profytable to all men, and hurtfull to noo man. As thys holy man, whyle he was yet alyue, by hys good example, hys doctryne, his goodly exhortatyons prouokyd vs to vertuouse lyuynge, he dyd cõfort the cõforthlesse, he helped ye poure, ye and now that he is deade, he is in a maner more profytable. He hathe buylded thys costly & gorgeouse churche, he hath caused greate authoryte thorough out all Englande vnto the ordre and presthode. At ye last, thys pece of the show dothe susteyne a company of poure people.

Me. Thys is of my faythe a godely cõtemplacyõ, but I maruayll greatly, seyng you ar thus mynded, that ye neuer dyd vysyte saynt Patryckes purgatory in Yerlande, of the whiche the comyn people boost many wonderouse thynges, whiche seme to me not lyke to be true.

Ogy. Of a suerty ther is not so meruelouse talkynge of it here, but the thynge it selffe doth fare excede.

Me. Hast thou bene ther than, & gonne thorow saynt Patryckes purgatory?

Ogy. I haue saylede ouer a ryuer to hell, I went downe vnto the gates of hell, I saw what was dõe ther.

Me. Thou dost me a greate pleasure, if thou wyll wotsaue to tell me.

Ogy. Lett this be the prohemy or begynnynge of owr communycatyon, longe enough as I suppose. I wyll gett me home, & cause my souper to be made redy, for I am yet vndynede.

Me. Why haue you not yet dyned? is it bycause of holynes?

Ogy. Noo of a truthe, but it is bycause of enuy and euyll will.

Me. Owe ye euyll wyll to yowr bely?

Ogy. No, but to the couetyse tauerners euer catchynge and snatchynge the whiche when they wyll not sett afore a man that is mete & conuenyent, yet they are not afearde to take of straûgers that, whiche is bothe vnright and agaynst good consciens. Of thys fashyõ I am acustomed to be auengede vpon thê. If I thynke to fare well at souper other with myne acquayntauns, or with some host som what an honest man, at dyner tyme I am sycke in my stomacke, but if I chaunce to fare after myne appetyte at dyner, before souper also I begynne to be well at ease in my stomacke.

Me. Wre ye not ashamede to be taken for a couetouse fellow & a nygerde?

Ogy. Menedeme they that make cost of shame in soche thynges, beleue me, bestow theyr money euyll. I haue lerned to kepe my shame for other purposys.

Me. Now I longe for the rest of yowr comunycacyon, wherfore loke to haue me yowr geste at souper, where ye shall tell it more conuenyently.

Ogy. For sothe I thanke you, that ye offere yowr selfe to be my gest vndesyred, when many hertely prayed refuse it, but I wyll gyue yow double thankes, if ye wyll soupe to day at home. For I must passe that tyme in doynge my dewty to my howsehold. But I haue counsell to eyther of vs moche more profytable. To morrow vnto me and my wyfe, prepare our dyner at yowr howse, then and if it be to souper tyme, we will not leyue of talkynge, vntyll you say that ye are wery, and if ye wyll at souper also we wyll not forsake you. Why, claw you your hede? prepare for vs in good fayth we wyll come.

Me. I had leuer haue no tales at all. Well go to, you shall haue a dyner, but vnsauery, except you spyce it with good & mery tales.

Ogy. But here you, are ye not mouyd and styrrede in your mynde, to take vpon yow these pylgremages?

Me. Perauenture it wyll sett me a fyre, after ye haue told me the resydew, as I am now mynded, I haue enough to do with my statyons of Rome.

Ogy. Of Rome, that dyd neuer see Rome?.

Me. I wyll tell you, thus I go my statyons at home, I go in to the parler, and I se vnto the chast lyuynge of my doughters, agayne frome thense I go in to my shope, I beholde what my seruauntes, bothe men and women be doynge. Frome thense into the kytchyn, lokynge abowt, if ther nede any of my cownsell, frome thense hyther and thyther obseruynge howe my chylderne be occupyed, what my wyffe dothe, beynge carefull that euery thynge be in ordre, these be statyons of Rome.

Ogy. But these thynges saynt Iames wold dowfor yow. Mene. That I shuld se vn-to these thynges holy scriptu-re commaundethe, thatI shuld commyt thecharge to sayntesI dyd rede ytneuer com-maun-ded

God saue the kynge

FINIS