Space: one hundred one story of surrealism

Canned goods migrate to the island of Fiji. They have brains. The ocean brings them to the Nandi dock. Residents go out to the beach at dawn and collect them in baskets. The bodies of small people lie in the hut. They are placed in the head, closed. Children are alive. They downloaded the memory that the inhabitants of this island are their friends, they know their names, where they live and work. The residents also acted like they were their children, they knew them, they pretended and played their parts. When children became old, their brains decreased with age, at the end, after death, young people, those who had just arrived on the island, but they already had what they needed to do, they took out their brains – they folded them into a bag, put them in canned food and sent back across the ocean. At the end of the year, canned food returned with new memories. The dead bodies of the old people grew younger and became children again. Brains were placed in the same bodies into dead bodies. They lived the same life round and round. They took it out. They revived. Younger. They were dying. Stupid. But each time they had new memories. Brains, however, were also intended for those suffering from schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, psychosis – separate tin cans with a green marker. In this city, people washed the air with a mop. When they chatted with them, floors, walls and roofs grew and materialized in the place where they swept the mop. In the forest, eagle owls, owls and hawks fought in enclosures, danced the waltz and tango. The orc referee ate a rock hamburger and in forty years never stopped a fight. psychosis – separate cans with a green marker. In this city, people washed the air with a mop. When they chatted with them, floors, walls and roofs grew and materialized in the place where they swept the mop. In the forest, eagle owls, owls and hawks fought in enclosures, danced the waltz and tango. The orc referee ate a rock hamburger and in forty years never stopped a fight. psychosis – separate cans with a green marker. In this city, people washed the air with a mop. When they chatted with them, floors, walls and roofs grew and materialized in the place where they swept the mop. In the forest, eagle owls, owls and hawks fought in enclosures, danced the waltz and tango. The orc referee ate a rock hamburger and in forty years never stopped a fight.

Having crossed and climbed the tower on the neighboring island, across the ocean, you can see a walrus from the fire. He works at the lighthouse. Shows the way for ships so that they do not crash on rocks and corals. A toad was sitting nearby, which in the morning swallowed a walrus to sleep. During the day, the toad cleaned the room, mopped the floor, dusted and cooked.

The legs of chairs and tables lived on the third island. Sick and thrown out by the gods. Garbage. They jumped around the island, and loved to swim on the water, compete in speed. Some of them were surfing, some were snowboarding. Among them lived white, black, red and green legs. Yellow legs were considered to be jaundiced. The red ones were owned by a demon, a former worker of hell. Blacks tan very often. Whites worked on farms and dug holes for vegetables. The bandits were crushed into dust, into sawdust and sprinkled on the ground like fertilizer. At noon, a round board fell from the sky. All legs gathered around him. The board rolled up the mountain, where no one could jump, and proclaimed itself a god. The legs have been wearing it on their heads ever since. So they got a table. People who come to the island often like to eat on it. The legs stood straight in a row and did not move even once. A snowboard was used instead of a chair. The man became the god of the god. And the legs understood that everyone has their own god, even a person, and the god of a person.

Hats lived on the fourth island, lost in time. They burned with ice, and extinguished themselves with poems. If they stopped reading poems, they melted and died. Because the island was a real buzz. Vote. Hats often hurt. Of course, their people did not hear, neither birds nor fish. But as soon as you put them on your head, the poem echoed into your mind. The man went crazy, and his head froze. Once, one hat threw itself off a cliff into the ocean and flew to Antarctica, where she did not need to listen to the cries of colleagues and friends, and not melt. He stopped reading poetry, but due to the lack of other skills, at times he began to compose them again. The polar bear snow society saw the hat, decided to hire him, built a head that spoke the hat’s thoughts through speakers, and he became Antarctica’s highest paid comedian and poet, working for praise.

If you paragliding from this place, and take refuge in the library of Maximianopolis in Egypt, you can see wonders that are not found in other countries. Especially in the library of magic and sorcery. Every year people die here just because they choose the wrong books and wrong authors to read. Opening a book about the collapse of Rome, Romans with spears, swords and arrows run out of the book, tentacles the size of an airplane break out of Howard Lovecraft’s Cthulhu book, and when opening literature on ghosts, Bloody Mary rips her eyes out through the reflection. Here you can burn, drown, be killed and buried alive. Maugham, when he got here lost his arm, because he studied the alligators of the prehistoric world. Ernest Hemingway burned his eyes when he saw an angel, and Dostoevsky, being here, contained a thousand souls that helped him write books. Everyone has different situations. But without a doubt, miracles were nightmarish and dangerous. Wizards escaped through the books, Voldemort tried to negotiate with the library caretaker to give him a flash drive to load his soul, but the librarian clapped his hand, and the wizard flew into the book. It was like being sucked in by a vacuum cleaner. The Snow Queen promised to kill the librarian if he did not help him, but the caretaker took out a magic wand from his bosom, which he received from a book, and waved it back into place, turning it into a bag of gelatin or a Barbie doll. Here, from time to time, animals appeared that ran along the shelves, the authors fell, opened up and the flood began, a megalodon swam out, a dragon flew out, dead samurai raged. On the one hand, a vampire, on the other, a storekeeper of memories. The caretaker at such moments had his own abilities, except for magic. Rewind button. He rewinds time grabbed the beasts and stormed out the door before they could scatter the books and cause mayhem. A hand clap would not have removed the chaos, therefore, there was nothing more wonderful than rewinding time in the magical library. The dead could be resurrected, and those who lost body parts could grow limbs. Of course, the library keeper could call the best doctor from the book, open the door to the future in order to grow legs or kidneys, remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell. there was nothing more wonderful than the rewinding of time in the magical library. The dead could be resurrected, and those who lost body parts could grow limbs. Of course, the library keeper could call the best doctor from the book, open the door to the future in order to grow legs or kidneys, remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell. there was nothing more wonderful than the rewinding of time in the magical library. The dead could be resurrected, and those who lost body parts could grow limbs. Of course, the library keeper could call the best doctor from the book, open the door to the future in order to grow legs or kidneys, remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell. remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell. remove devices from the room in the book, which would allow not to get injured. But it was not worth the risk, because the characters could kill them, seize a library, a city, a country, experiment on living people. There is always a risk, still, who would want to live all their lives in a world where everything is worse than anywhere else. Hell.

But what are we about the library and the library, right? Let’s fast forward to the world of science, where a spoonful of gunpowder turned a person into someone who, in no other way, could be, the person himself wanted to turn into. The powder contained the genes of animals, and after tasting only a spoon, people turned into animals or gained their strength. Marvelous. Charles Chaplin received here the grace of a cat, and Goethe the vigilance of the mind. Bulgakov found the strength of stubbornness in himself and saw other worlds at the bottom of a cup, Dickens was rewarded with the charm of a monkey and the mind of a raven. Goyle became a hippopotamus, Marie became an eagle, Anastasia became a fox. And meanwhile, well, you can imagine, I have a hand on cutting off the ladies, the animals that tried this miraculous powder became people. They were them, of course, only now, they never learned to be people. The tigers that became Homo sapiens walked on all fours. The dogs were barking. The cats hunched over and urinated into slippers and into the corners of rooms. Eagles jumped from rooftops. Giraffes were reaching for the leaves of the trees. An animal is always an animal. A person can be taught, he thinks, and an animal is a stupid creature, it imitates the life of the jungle, more precisely, it lives according to the laws of the forest, and gives preference only to instincts. But what a fantasy, just don’t put your finger on me, the bugs didn’t become anything at all, but received only the mind of a person, and every time your eyes fell on the floor, you could see cockroaches, stag beetles running around the chair, flies and fleas. They danced, they played billiards, they threw bread crumbs into baskets of cobwebs; push-ups and pull-ups on the horizontal bars. The ants that came running last fought the spiders in the fight. Bloch had the hardest time. Stronger and larger – intelligent insects, used them instead of a soccer ball, scoring goals into impromptu goals. Then they noticed big people, and began to swear, raise their fists and tremble nervously: just so as not to be crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. Then they noticed big people, and began to swear, raise their fists and tremble nervously: just so as not to be crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. Then they noticed big people, and began to swear, raise their fists and tremble nervously: just so as not to be crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. as long as it doesn’t get crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. as long as it doesn’t get crushed. Bite them on their big toes, tear their hair from the root. Whether they wanted places, who knows. But the fighters are still those. Scream. Hysterics. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. The squeaky sound reached anywhere but the ears of the giants. The primates grabbed them and crushed them, and if they were lucky, they ran away, and forever shook in fear under the plinth, between carpet, carpet and linoleum. It happened that a person would see that he was an anteater in a past life, and eat all the insects. And occasionally, but so it is, people heard the squeaks of cockroaches, and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that they caught butterflies yesterday, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washbasin. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that yesterday they were catching butterflies, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washstand. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him. and listened intently to them, seating them in their palms, as they told the story that yesterday they were catching butterflies, and the day before yesterday they built a house under the washstand. The man got angry, and poisoned their entire family under him.

And on a farm near Edinburgh, the cook’s cows lived, they ran to the table, cut themselves, lay down on the pan, seasoned themselves with vegetables; potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic and peas. People, meanwhile, ate, smacking their lips and saying what good cooks are. It used to happen that Monroe would come in to eat a goose stew, the rams would take out knives, cut those, marinate them in sauce, stew them in a roaster, and serve them on the table. If, however, the meat did not go well into the stomach, the goose meat pulled out its arms and pushed off the walls of the trachea to fall into the bottomless crater of acid. When people, after two, I tell you God, days, defecated, the geese flew out of the fecal ditch, regenerated back into birds, and made their way to the farms where they were killed, only to be back on the table. Imagine what self-sacrifice in the name of saving the hungry. Such would be miracles, but in Australia and Africa,

If you put on a baseball cap, the baseball cap will slide down the body, and you will disappear under it, falling into a fairy tale. And if you swing and throw yourself into the water, the baseball cap becomes a ship. If you say, casually, that you have a fat ass, you will become Kilimanjaro. Yes, yes, everything is strange, but what is strange when everything in the world is so simple. If you jump from a plane, you can see how you become a pancake, and if you lie down on the road on the highway, you can see how mincemeat is made. If you hit the rhino on the nose, you can notice that in addition to three holes, there is both the fourth and the fifth, and if you put a bandwagon of the elephant, then the Niger will not help you. Even Niger will not help Negro if Niger is fighting with a niger.

Clouds. We fly through the clouds and see unusual animals jumping outside the porthole, so unimaginably delightful, just imagine. They jump so high that they hit the moon with their heads and sing that today is a better day than yesterday, ten times better, can you imagine?

And here I presented. But not only unicorns, kangaroos and coyotes jump there, but the most unusual of them – such as centaurs, well, how could it be otherwise if they are not animals, well, people, you agree?

They jump so high that the moon trembles from a thousand heads striking it. And a huge gnome lives on that moon, this gnome was born there a long time ago, I don’t even remember what century it was – I know for sure that this gnome loves animals, so much so that he invites them to live with him, promising them delicious food and grass. In addition to the centaur and the minotaur, of course, no one agrees, but how could it be otherwise, who knows who this dwarf really is.

You sit on your chair and wonder why you looked at the sky so often and didn’t see them because you were so grown up and distracted by all the nonsense around you. In an instant, you wanted to change, remembered how as a child you dreamed of becoming a dragon or an eagle, flying high up and shitting on those who were against you. Today, you left all your affairs to rest and rushed forward, through the clouds, cutting them on the plane – only you cannot fly to them, and they cannot enter the plane to you – they do not even see you, because they were not told that there are adults in the world, besides children, who can see them. They themselves saw the children and waved either their tail or their hooves and said hello to the children, accompanied them with shouts and flew away towards the sunset.

The children laughed and rejoiced. But there were also adult children among them, when the little ones pointed a finger at a unicorn and said how beautifully it chews a marmalade cloud, they did not see anything and simply twisted their finger around their temple and said that it was time for them to see a psychiatrist to be cured. But childhood does not need to be cured, it was childhood that gave us happiness, well, really… Can you imagine how many adults who are unhappy because they have become adults, they are interested in money and how many people will come to dinner, how big their hall and house will be, how much acres to reach beyond the horizon of their land, that’s all!

And then… the unicorns flew over the horizon, and the most fascinating animals appeared in the sky, and not even animals… fish of different sizes, perches, crucian carp, dolphins and sharks, jellyfish and killer whales swam among them, among them were stingrays and jellyfish- dwarfs, skates and a thousand more clown fish, they circled in a round dance and turned the sky into a real holiday – fireworks from them, this is the best thing the children have ever seen. And there were fireflies among them that shone, and flew up to the porthole and circled outside the window until they were called crickets, composing a song for them, come here, something cool has been prepared for you here. They flew away, followed by hummingbirds, they often liked to fly through the sky and catch these fireflies, but today was a different day – a day of piety and friendliness. These are the things that are happening in heaven, but only adults forgot a long time ago,

Somehow you may be lucky, and you will believe in miracles at the age of forty, at a hundred years, when you are still alive and your mind is not busy earning as much as possible, and achieving as much success as possible – everything in this world is beautiful, even without the money that you save up all your life – it’s so simple.

One day, flying like this in the sky on an airplane, you will fall asleep, and when you wake up you will see purple frogs jumping on your clothes, then do not be afraid, everything is fine. In fact, only you can see them, otherwise all people would have long since jumped from their seats and panicked, not even an hour, and then the plane will fall – these are magic frogs, they do not come to adults and boring people. Rejoice. Just for a moment you began to believe in miracles, and miracles are all around you. Many of them will jump on the floor, chameleons will run along the walls, hummingbirds and jellyfish will run through the window, and below, the whale swims so majestically, waving its fin so hard that the clouds rush over the horizon forty times faster than ever.

From under the wires of the garlands – who lived there in the country of the Lilliputians; a brush flew out and began to chirp that he did not agree with the hand of the padishah holding his ass. After all, he is, you know, straight and against fisting! Drowning himself in the toilet, he doesn’t like it, you see. And who, pray tell, likes it, except maybe a dog named “Moo-mu”. He also played such BDSM games with Gerasim, went fishing and drowned, they really enjoyed it. They say that Mu-mu drowned himself with his paw by the hair in order to get more adrenaline. With the other hand he beat himself on the second, but the second was cruel, laughed and bit, throwing the first hand into the urn near the shore with piranhas. A dwarf-nose lived in the lake, on his hump they danced break-dance and tango. Each time returning to life, the dog barks at people, provokes anger, and asks them to drown him in a basin in the bathroom. His silky hair would then jump on his back, blown by the wind of diamonds. He loves it, except he can’t die, his head hits the floor, and he’s sniffing the dust left behind by Flash last week when he ran after Ant-Man in search of the microverse on the flea’s back.