Philochristus

And, as I judge, even for this cause did the Lord lead us into the wilderness together with our Master in sorrow and in exile, to the intent that there, being apart from the world, we might weigh, as it were in a balance, on the one side all the world, and on the other side the Son of man; a man of sufferings and sorrows, a man of wanderings and exiles, acquainted with rejections and contempts; and then that, having weighed the two, we might prefer the Son of man, because of a certain voice in our hearts which cried within us, “Whom have we in heaven but thee? And there is none on earth that we desire in comparison of thee.” And this, as I judge, was the faith that Jesus desired of us: and to this faith was the Lord leading our hearts, while Jesus was patiently waiting for our answer. But though it needeth many words to show even a very little of the searchings of our hearts in that sore extremity, yet the time thereof was short, not more (as I said before) than while a man could count nine or ten very slowly. Then Peter rose up. If it were possible to judge from their countenances, some of the other disciples also were very nigh unto speaking; for their features were as it were in a flux, dissolving in passion, and speech seemed welling upward through them, and the lips of John the son of Zebedee were trembling as if upon the brink of utterance. Notwithstanding it was reserved for Simon Peter to set forth in words and to shape by the force of his soul the thoughts of John and all the rest. He therefore rose up and spake as I never heard man speak before, neither think I ever to hear man speak again, saying, “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.”

Twice or thrice at least, before this time, I had heard words like unto these; when either the disciples or the multitude, marvelling at his mighty works, had hailed Jesus as the Son of God. Also many thousands of times have I heard the like confession made in the accustomed worship of the Church. But never till this day, nor ever after, did I hear the words uttered in the same way. For there seemed to come forth from the mouth of Simon Peter no mere airy syllables, unsubstantial beatings of the wind, but a certain solid truth, able as it were to be seen and touched, and not to be destroyed by force of man. What made the difference I know not: nor know I how to explain the difference, except it came from Jesus himself. For indeed it seemed to me that power passed from Jesus into Peter and gave unto him a strength more than his own, and not human. Yea, again and again, pondering that saying of Simon Peter in my mind, I have thought of the words of Nathanael, how he said that Jesus gave a voice to all visible things even though they be voiceless by nature; and, in the same way, it might have been said also that Jesus had power to give a kind of light to sounds: such brightness did he seem to cast upon the words of Simon Peter, insomuch that the words, though old, seemed new, yea quite new, and never heard before. For the tongue and the voice seemed the tongue and the voice of Peter, but the spirit and the light thereof seemed to proceed from Jesus; so that one scarce knew whether it were truer to say that it was Jesus speaking through Peter, or that it was Peter speaking in the spirit of Jesus.

But when Jesus heard the words of Peter, he turned and looked upon all the disciples and upon Peter, and he rejoiced with an exceeding joy, as if in that utterance of faith the first seed had been sown which was to grow up into the Tree of Life; or as if he had seen before his very eyes the laying of the foundations of a great temple, not like unto the marble temple of Augustus built upon the visible rock, but a temple of human souls compacted together by no hands of man, but by the Spirit of God, and destructible by no power in earth or hell. Howbeit he called it not Temple, but rather (using the word which our fathers had used in old days concerning Israel) Congregation. For oftentimes he had instructed us to believe that the gathering together of the disciples made a temple, wheresoever it might be, even at the ends of the earth: but the Temple could not of itself make disciples: yea, though the Temple itself were destroyed yet he said that God would raise up even in two or three days a new temple not made by hands. So Jesus made answer unto Peter calling him by his two names, first by the name which he had from his father (which name he had as being “born of woman”) and then by that name of Peter which he bore in the Kingdom, which name Jesus himself gave unto him: and he signified that Simon the son of Jonah, being changed by faith into Peter (which name meaneth a stone or rock), presented and manifested forth that very Rock upon which the Congregation should be built; and these were his very words: “Blessed art thou, Simon son of Jonah: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven. And I say also unto thee, Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Congregation; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”

Then, as if he already saw the Temple of the New Congregation standing on the Rock, he added yet another blessing upon Simon Peter and his faith, making mention of the key of the New Temple, and promising that he would give this key to Peter, because they which have faith, those alone can forgive: and forgiveness is the key which openeth the Congregation to all the world. Now it is a common prayer with the scholars of the Scribes that “We may not make defiled the pure, nor make pure the defiled; that we may not bind the loosed, nor loose the bound.” But Jesus promised unto Peter something better than this, to wit, that the faith which Peter had this day manifested (that is, the faith of the New Congregation) should have power to loose them that else had been bound; and that forgiveness below should go hand in hand with forgiveness above; saying that he would give unto Peter the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and he added, “Whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”

When he had spoken these words, he arose and went into Cæsarea, where we were to tarry that night. We followed him, marvelling much at his words, and especially because of this promise touching binding and loosing. For we did not understand how we could receive such a power; and even though we should receive it, we did not perceive how it would avail us to conquer the Romans nor how it could hasten the Redemption of Sion. Notwithstanding, we rejoiced even more than we marvelled; partly because we dimly understood that the Lord had this day wrought some great work for us; partly because we felt ourselves to be more settled and confirmed in our allegiance to our Master; but most of all because we perceived that Jesus rejoiced with an exceeding joy, and we could not but rejoice with him.

Only Judas said that he liked not that Jesus should speak of a Congregation and not of a Nation or People. “For,” said he, “a Congregation goeth not forth to battle, nor taketh cities, nor setteth up empires and kingdom: but this is the work of a People. Wherefore my mind misgiveth me lest our Master, becoming desperate of his first purpose of setting up a kingdom, should now determine within himself to found a sect such as the sect of the Essenes or Pharisees. For he was not wont before to speak of a Congregation, but he ever spake of a Kingdom of God, or a Kingdom of heaven.” But one made answer and said that it was written, “Let the Congregation of saints praise him; let the saints be joyful with glory; let the praises of God be in their mouth, and a two-edged sword in their hands, to be avenged of the heathen:” wherefore, said he, the meaning of our Master perchance is, that in the time to come, Israel shall be both a nation of conquerors and a congregation of saints. And to this we all agreed.

CHAPTER XXI

From that day forth we noted but seldom in our Master’s countenance that look of expectancy which had sometimes perplexed us before. For now, and for many days after, he spake and acted like one that seeth things to come as clear as things past. On the morrow after the blessing of Simon Peter, he called us together, and told us that we must go up to Jerusalem at the next Passover. If we were joyful before, much more did we rejoice now; and Judas smote his hands together for very gladness, esteeming Jerusalem already captured. For he supposed that Jesus could not march up to Jerusalem so as not to raise up the Romans against him, “and when they come against us in battle,” he said, “then Jesus will perforce put forth his power against them, and will utterly destroy them.”

These words said Judas (but not so loud that Jesus could hear them) during the first stir that followed the saying of Jesus about going up to Jerusalem. But Jesus opened his mouth to speak again, and behold, he prophesied things that passed all understanding; namely, that he should be rejected by the rulers of the people, and delivered over to them, and put to death with insult. But then he added that although this must needs come to pass, yet in a few days afterwards, yea no more than one or two, it should be with him as with Jonah, whose prayer was heard even from the belly of hell, and according to the words of the prophet Hosea, who wrote this saying, “Come and let us return unto the Lord, for he hath torn and he will heal us: he hath smitten and he will bind us up. After two days will he restore us to life; in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.”

We stood silent around him, all agape with wonder, and scarce believing our ears. But he spake quietly and cheerfully, like unto one describing what had already been accomplished, or as if he perceived that the thing was as much according to nature as that a stone should fall downwards or a spark fly upwards. For not long afterwards he spake as if this were an ordinance of God, that “Whoso saveth his life shall lose it; but whoso loseth it shall save it:” desiring, as I suppose, to teach us that in death, no less than in life, there prevailed that great Law of God which was ever in his mouth, “Give, and it shall be given unto you:” meaning that whoso gave up his life unto the Father should receive it again abundantly, both now and ever. Notwithstanding, at this time our ears were deaf and our hearts were hardened against all such words as these, and we feared to ask him concerning them. Only Peter, mindful how Jesus had of late blessed him, and therefore venturing somewhat more than the rest, would fain expostulate. So after he had besought Jesus not to vex the hearts of us his loving followers by prophesying evil things, he spake concerning the death of Jesus, saying, “Be it far from thee, O Master; this shall not happen to thee.” Then Jesus looked wrathfully upon Simon Peter, even as he had looked before upon Jonathan the son of Ezra, and he rebuked Peter as if he had been the Adversary himself tempting him; and he said, “Get thee behind me, Satan; thou art a stumblingblock unto me; for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” Yet was there no hate in his countenance, though he used the name of Satan; but there was grief, and trouble, and many signs of inward perturbation; as if Peter had assailed him where he was weakest, appealing to him in the name of the disciples whom he must needs forsake. Yea, the tears seemed nigh at hand even in the moment of the bitterest rebuking.

After this, Jesus began to speak to us of the journey to Jerusalem, how full of peril, and how desperate it was like to be. For he said that whosoever followed him must be prepared to risk all for his sake. Yea, even as men condemned to die might go forth to their doom with the ropes round their necks or the crosses on their shoulders, even so must we go up to Jerusalem, all prepared for death, if we were fain to go with him. And this he said many times, saying that none might follow him except they would take up the cross; and during all the time of our going up to Jerusalem, the cross was, as it were, the only watch-word that he would appoint for them that went with him: insomuch that some, mocking, called it a journey of the cross, or a journey of the halter. But he added that, if we had courage to go with him, a reward was in store for us: “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then shall he reward every man according to his works.”

Now at these last words Judas turned away in anger, saying in a low voice, “He speaketh only of what is after the grave.” But Jesus straightway added, “Verily I say unto you, there be some standing here which shall not taste of death till they see the Son of man coming in his Kingdom.” At these words we all rejoiced again, and Judas with the rest, for, said he, “These words are no dark saying, but such as babes can understand.” So we went out from the presence of Jesus marvelling indeed, but rejoicing even more than we marvelled.

Now when we were come forth, and were alone apart from Jesus, we disputed among ourselves what his words might mean. But Judas said (after his wont) that whatsoever was obscure should be interpreted by that part which was clearer. Now Jesus had declared that he would come and reward his followers and take unto himself his Kingdom even in the lifetime of some that were standing by. But as for the rest, concerning the losing of life and finding of it, and as for what Jesus had said concerning his own dying and rising again, it was clear, said Judas, that the words were used poetically and in a figure, as if one should speak of sinking into the pit of the darkness of ruin and then of being raised up therefrom, as it had been described also by Jonah, and as Hosea the prophet had spoken.

But then Thomas said, “Yet methinks, since all men must die, therefore also the Redeemer of Israel must perforce come to the grave at some time; and then what shall befall the disciples that shall remain in the flesh?” To this some one made reply that Jesus would assuredly not depart from life till he had established the kingdom and trampled all our enemies under his feet. Another said that, if Jesus indeed died as a captive according to his own words, then his death would be like unto that of Samson, who destroyed many thousands of the Gentiles in his own destruction. But still Thomas persevered that, whensoever the time came that Jesus should depart from the flesh, then all the brightness of joy would depart from the disciples for ever.

Then John answered and said that Thomas had well spoken, only that the Lord would provide against so great an evil; and he added, “Let us not suppose that the gates of death can separate us from the love of the Lord, neither let our imagination assure us that the grave is a strong place against the hand of the Almighty. For by the Word of God we were framed; and by the Word of God we were born; and by the Word of God we live; and by the Word of God we die; and by the Word of God we are to give account before the King of kings. Wherefore if even we are in the hand of the Lord though we lie in the grave, how much more is the Redeemer of Israel, who is in the bosom of the Father? Wherefore my counsel is that we trust in the Lord, and that we rejoice because we see our Master rejoicing.”

To this we all agreed. Howbeit, when we tried to understand the meaning of the words of Jesus, the judgment of Judas seemed good to the most part of us. And so it was that when we rejoiced, we rejoiced with John; but when we reasoned we reasoned with Judas. But of this we were all with one consent persuaded, that it could not be that the Lord would permit such an one as Jesus of Nazareth to die a common death; but either he would not die at all, or if he were taken from us, it must be after the manner of Elias, exalted to heaven in a chariot of fire.

But Jesus desired to offer up prayers to the Lord upon Mount Hermon before he set his face to go southward to Jerusalem. For he had long been journeying towards it, and it seemed to be unto him as a goal and limit of his wanderings. Moreover at all times Jesus loved to be alone on the tops of mountains, not as though he counted high places to be more holy than others, but because all visible things testified to him of the Father, and when he looked forth upon the world at sunrise from the summit of a mountain, then the Angels of God which rule over the light and the sky and the earth and the air, seemed to speak unto him with a louder and a fuller voice. Moreover though he spake not of the moon and stars in parables (but only of the flowers of the field and the seed and the smaller things of earth), yet did he oft consider the heavens and the lights therein which are the works of the fingers of God; and for this cause he would sometimes spend a whole night upon a mountain-top alone, meditating on the works of God. So it came to pass that on the morrow after these things we went with Jesus even to the foot of Mount Hermon. There we tarried during the night in a village just below the mountain; but Jesus left us and went up the mountain alone, save that he took with him Simon Peter, and John, and James the brother of John.

Now as for what happened on the mountain, I myself was not present; but the three disciples told us afterwards things that made us to marvel. At first indeed they saw nothing more than common, nor indeed took heed of aught which they saw; for they were wearied with the labour of the long journey, going for many hours up hill, and besides they were faint with hunger; insomuch that, when they were come to that part of the mountain where the snow lieth continually, they were borne down with sleep. Hereat Jesus bade them stay where they were, and pray; but he himself went forward higher up the mountain, as it were a distance of three bowshot; yet not so far but they could hear his voice; for the air was exceeding still, and all sounds came with a marvellous clearness to their ears even from very far off. Now it came to pass that when the three disciples were alone, they strove to pray, sometimes standing up, but at other times kneeling or lying flat upon their faces. Howbeit their eyes were still weighed down and heavy with sleep; but even as they began to slumber, behold, the voice of Jesus, like unto the voice of an angel, fell upon their ears magnifying and praising God. So the night passed, while they lay there betwixt sleeping and waking; sometimes hearing the voice of Jesus and praying with him; anon falling into slumber and dreaming strange dreams and seeing visions; and (betwixt dreaming and waking) scarce able to know what they saw, nor what they heard, nor even whether they slept or waked. But at the last the Lord sent upon them a deep sleep; and how long they slept they knew not, but suddenly with one consent awaking, they perceived that they were on holy ground, and that the presence of the Lord was around them, and the voice of the Lord sounding in their ears. Yet for the instant they knew not what work the Lord had in hand; only they felt that He was very nigh.

But when they came to themselves, they heard the voice of Jesus speaking words as if conversing with men present and face to face. Then for a brief space the disciples lay even where they had been sleeping, still and astonied, supposing that it was a dream and that the voice should have speedily ceased. But it ceased not, but continued. And they heard Jesus plainly speaking both to Moses and to Elias concerning that which was to come to pass in Jerusalem; which, he said, would not be an error, nor a misadventure, but the very fulfilment of the Law and the Prophets, and the fore-ordained will of the Father. (Also Quartus saith (but this I heard not myself from any of the three) that Jesus testified unto Moses, saying that he came not to destroy sacrifice but to fulfil sacrifice.)

But when the disciples perceived that it was no dream, they with one consent started up; and behold, the sun was just risen, and Hermon was all a-fire with the glory of the Lord, and the ice and the snow all around shone like unto burning gold and silver and sapphire, only far brighter, even as the brightness of the Throne of the Majesty on High. But Jesus stood on a rock above them; and when they looked on him, behold, his garments were exceeding white, whiter than snow, and his face was transfigured as the face of an archangel, and his shape was all glorious to behold, shining with a wondrous light; and his eyes were set like unto one looking on the forms of departing friends. For Moses and Elias were now passed away and were no more to be seen.

But Simon Peter, being nigh distraught at the glory of the sight, and scarce knowing whether he were asleep or awake, cried out to Jesus in a loud voice that they would remain on that mountain-top for ever; and he said, “Master, it is good for us to be here; and let us make three tabernacles, one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias.” But Jesus took no heed of his words, but kept still gazing upon Moses and Elias. And while they still looked, the Lord sent down on them a cloud, and compassed them round with darkness; and they feared exceedingly when they entered into the cloud; and there came a voice as of thunder out of the cloud, saying that Jesus was the son of God. Then fell the disciples on their faces, and offered up prayers unto the Lord. But presently, when they arose, the cloud had passed away, and Jesus alone was standing by their side.

When Jesus came down from the mountain, all we that were waiting for him in the village below perceived that he had had a vision; for there was still an unwonted brightness on his countenance. Likewise also the people which were with us (for there was a great multitude) marvelled at the brightness of his countenance; and running to Jesus, they saluted him as a prophet. Some also began to beseech him to heal a certain boy which was possessed with an evil spirit. For so it was that, while Jesus was upon the mountain, certain of the Pharisees that dwelt in that village (for there was a synagogue there, and many Jews dwelt round about that country) came to us bringing one possessed with an unclean spirit and bidding us cast him out. So we adventured to drive him out. But we could not do it. Therefore the Pharisees strove against us and declared that we were vagabonds and deceivers, and that our Master was like unto us; and of the multitude part sided with us and part with the Pharisees, insomuch that there was a great uproar and noise of contention. All these things had come to pass while Jesus was coming down from the mountain; but when we saw Jesus near at hand, straightway on both sides we all ceased from our contention.

Now when Jesus understood the cause of the contention, and that the Pharisees were striving against us because we had not been able to drive out the unclean spirit, he looked around both upon us and our adversaries: and behold, we were all heated with disputing, and angered by reproachings, and there was no faith in us. Therefore he was sorely grieved, and he sighed bitterly, and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you, how long shall I suffer you?” Then he turned to the father of the child (for the man was standing nigh, piteously bewailing his child) and he said, “Bring thy son hither to me.” So they brought him.

But Jesus, looking upon the boy and upon the father and upon the Pharisees, and upon all them which were standing nigh, perceived straightway that there was no faith as yet that the boy should be cured. Therefore he asked the father certain questions touching the boy, and the man replied that the boy had been possessed even from a child; “and oftentimes,” continued he, weeping as he spake, “it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters to destroy him; but if thou canst do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” When Jesus perceived that the man had not yet faith (but only desire bordering upon faith), he said unto him, repeating the man’s words, “If thou canst; if thou canst. Nay, but believe. All things are possible to him that believeth.” And straightway the man cried out for anguish of soul, and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” Then the face of Jesus was glad, and immediately he rebuked the unclean spirit; and it came forth tearing the boy and leaving him as one dead, insomuch that many said “he is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.