Philochristus

“For this cause, in part methinks, Jesus calleth himself the Son of man; as if to shew that he is willingly subject to all the fleshly weaknesses wherewith the All-Wise hath encompassed the souls of men to the end that they may depend on Him. For he teacheth that he, being the weakness of man, shall be made strength and exalted to the very throne of God, and we with him; so that we shall reign with God, and the Kingdom of God shall also be a Kingdom of man, according as it is said, ‘What is man that thou art mindful of him, and the son of man that thou visitest him? Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands: thou hast put all things in subjection under his feet.’ ”

“Yea, but,” said I, “the Psalmist speaketh only of the things of the earth, to wit, the ‘sheep and oxen and the beasts of the field, the fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.’ ”

But to this Nathanael made answer, “In the Kingdom of God the Son of man shall be Lord over all things in heaven and earth, not on earth merely; yea, over death itself, and over the Evil Nature in man. For this cause, even as an earnest of that which is to come, our Master checketh and chideth diseases and devils in them which be possessed. For our Master hateth the devils and diseases even as he hateth the sins of men, esteeming them as the work of Satan, and not as the work of his Father. But the course and appointed order of the world he esteemeth as the vesture of God, whereof he would not disturb one single fold.”

Now herein Nathanael spake truly. For once only (as I have heard) did Jesus so much as appear to adventure to alter the course of the world. It was on a winter evening, and the disciples were on the lake; but I was not with them. A great storm had suddenly come down on them (as storms are wont to come down from the mountains round about the lake) and the boat was now well-nigh filled with the waves and like to sink. Then the disciples lifted up their voices for fear, and ran to Jesus as he slept upon the cushion, and besought him, saying, “Master, carest thou not that we perish?” Then he arose in grief for them, as it seemed, that they should, after so cowardly a fashion, tremble before the winds; and he opened his mouth to rebuke them. “And all this while,” said Matthew (for he was present), “the winds yet raged, and the waves beat in upon the deck, and in another instant, methought, we had been all dead men. But Jesus, noting this, turned himself from us toward the sea, and then (as if it were revealed to him that he, being the safety of the world, could not be wrecked by any turbulence of winds or waves, and therefore that the storm was to cease), behold, he stretched out his hands to the tempest, praying; and straightway the storm seemed to abate a little; and then, perceiving the will of the Father, he stood up like some great king or emperor, and rebuked the storm, bidding it be still; and immediately there was a great calm.”

Now on this only occasion did our Master appear to change the course of the world; and methinks, even here, he did it only in appearance. For he spake as he was moved by the Holy Spirit, it being revealed to him that the storm must needs cease lest the fortunes of the world should be shipwrecked, if the Son of man should perish. But if Xanthias findeth fault with this story, saying that on this only occasion our Master spake after the manner of a Mænad, and not worthily of himself, to this I reply that, if Jesus of Nazareth was the Son of God (as I doubt not), then it was fit that he should feel faith, yea, a singular faith in God his Father. And if Caius Cæsar, the first Emperor, could be assured that he was not to be drowned, saying to the boatmen that they must be of good cheer because they carried Cæsar and his Fortune; how much more might the true Emperor of men be assured that the Fortune of mankind should not be shipwrecked, yea, and rather than this should come to pass, that the storm must cease? For this cause I incline not to the opinion of Xanthias; who saith that Jesus rebuked not the storm, but the disciples, bidding them not be fearful and of little faith. And, though I was not myself present, yet was the matter reported to me afterwards by one that had heard the relation thereof from Matthew the son of Levi, as I said above.

While I spake with Nathanael, there came into my mind certain words of my Greek friend, whom I had met at Capernaum (I mean the Alexandrine merchant), how he had praised Jesus in that he breathed a spirit of soberness and peace, so that, wheresover he might be, he seemed happy and at home; and I told this to Nathanael. But he said, “Thy friend said well; for to Jesus the world is as a great instrument of music giving forth sounds which we hear not, but he both heareth and enjoyeth. And well I remember how once, in the presence of Jesus, there arose a dispute between a musician and another, concerning the sense of hearing and the sense of sight; and the other said, jesting at the musician, ‘To believe thee, the sun should have a voice if it is to be perfect.’ ‘Nay,’ said the musician, ‘but the sun hath indeed a voice to those which have ears to hearken; for when it riseth in the east, it is not a large round shining shekel, but it is a minister of God and crieth with ten thousand times ten thousand voices, Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty.’ And thereat Jesus smiled and said that it was even so, and that in the time to come there would dwell this power of sound not in the lights of heaven alone, but also in the earth, and all that therein is; insomuch that the vine-twigs and grape-clusters should have voices of their own and commune with the children of men.”9

By this time we had reached the coast, and we went forth from the vessel, and took our way to a little village lying in the road which leadeth unto Cæsarea Philippi. And as Nathanael had been sent on before the rest to prepare lodging for us, I could find no more occasion that day to converse with him. But my mind was still beating on the dark saying of Jesus touching the temptation of Satan, and I still assayed to understand why Jesus would not work a sign in heaven: for the words of Nathanael had not sufficed to make the matter clear unto me.

Only concerning the sign in heaven, thus much was revealed unto me, that I myself was not drawn unto Jesus by his signs and wonders, but by reason of my love for him and trust in him; and the same was true also of the other disciples. Moreover Jesus desired that men should be drawn unto him in this way, by love and trust, and by feeling that he was needful to them, and not by being astonished at signs and wonders. Further I questioned myself and said, “If Jesus had caused the sun to stop still, would Abuyah the son of Elishah, and Eliezer the son of Arak, and the chief ruler of the synagogue straightway have loved Jesus and trusted in him, as Jesus desireth his disciples to love and trust in him?” Now I knew that they might have obeyed him and followed him, but they could not have loved him. For Jesus was light: but they loved darkness. Wherefore Jesus could not redeem them nor deliver them, even though he had worked a sign in heaven. For he could not deliver them which loved him not; no, not though he had worked ten thousand signs in heaven.

CHAPTER XX

As soon as day dawned on the morrow, we left the village where we had lain that night, and journeyed northward; and Jesus set his face once more toward Mount Hermon. We were all very silent, more than was our custom; for we were downcast and dejected by reason of our often fleeing from before the face of our enemies, and because of the delay of the day of Redemption. And though we still loved Jesus and trusted him after a manner, yet we knew not what to think concerning the things that he had done of late. As we journeyed, Jesus spake much concerning faith, and how, without faith, no one could truly believe in him. From time to time he looked at us, as we went by his side; and he seemed as if he were measuring our thoughts by our faces, and reckoning up the sum of our strength: and now he seemed desirous to speak, and now to delay speaking; watching over us as if some great burden were at hand, and as though he feared lest the burden should be more than we could bear.

But as concerning faith he said some things hard to understand; to wit, that if a man had not faith, there should be taken from him even that which he seemed to have; and yet, at the same time, he said that no man could have faith in him nor come to him unless he were drawn by the Father. Moreover he said that whoso had faith as a grain of mustard-seed, should be able to overthrow trees or mountains. Likewise he added that, if two or three would agree together touching anything that they would ask of the Father in heaven, it should be done for them.

Now as touching the overthrowing of mountains or destruction of trees, some have supposed that Jesus really wrought such wonders as these; and I have heard that stories of this kind are currently reported in the Church. But Jesus did never any such thing. But in our language an “uprooter of mountains” was a name given to any Rabbi that had power by his words to remove great difficulties out of the path of the righteous, and to make smooth the rough places in the ways of the Law. And after the like manner, as I suppose, are to be interpreted the words of Jesus touching the answer to prayer. For it entered not into his mind that his disciples should ask for earthly things as their hearts’ desire; but they were to ask for heavenly things, and earthly things should be added to them, sufficient for their needs. Howbeit Quartus explaineth this saying somewhat otherwise, as I shall set forth further on.

As we journeyed, Jesus would not that any should know him: and few took heed of us; for instead of a great multitude, none now went with him, save the Twelve, and three or four others beside myself. But passing by a certain house wherein dwelt one of our countrymen (though we were by this time far beyond the bounds of Galilee) Jesus entered in asking for water; for the weather was exceeding sultry. And so it was that in the house the good folk were making ready to circumcise a child; and (after the manner of the people in Galilee) an empty chair had been set for the prophet Elias, as being the prophet of the covenant of circumcision. But some one of our company (Judas of Kerioth, as I remember) not knowing wherefore the chair was thus set, asked the cause thereof. So the good man of the house said that it was set for Elias the prophet, “who hath ofttimes appeared,” said he, “in the guise of a merchant, to one or other of the Scribes in old times; and, three days before the Messiah come, he needs must appear for to anoint the Messiah: but I have heard it said of many, these ten days, that he hath appeared indeed as a prophet, on the other side of the lake, for to avenge the death of John the son of Zachariah.”

When he said these words, we looked each at other but held our peace: and Jesus, after he had courteously thanked the man, came forth and addressed himself again to the journey; but, methought, even more sadly and sorrowfully than before. But still his discourse (as oft as he said anything) was on faith; and presently he began to say in a low voice a certain psalm (which was both at this time and during many days afterwards upon his lips); and in the psalm are these words, first of supplication and then of praise: “Deliver my soul from the sword, my darling from the power of the dog, save me from the lion’s mouth, thou hast heard me also from among the horns of the unicorns. I will declare thy Name unto my brethren; in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee.” Now when he spake these words touching the “congregation,” and also the following words, “my praise is of thee in the great congregation,” then so it was that Judas, who had been scarce able, these many days, to restrain himself because of his anger at the tarrying of Jesus, spake aloud and very vehemently, saying that, but one or two months ago, there was indeed a congregation, and a great congregation, which also had been ready with one consent to have risen up against the Romans; “but now,” said Judas, “we be scarce a score in all.”

Hereat Jesus stayed, and turned round and looked at Judas, methought, to have rebuked him; but when his eyes fell upon our “little flock,” as he was wont to call us at this time, not a score in all (for herein had Judas spoken truly), then it seemed as if his thoughts for us drove out the thought of Judas: and he paused as if he would have questioned us: “Do ye also say as Judas saith?” But then he turned again and went before us, beckoning to us to follow a little behind; and so he continued his journey, steadfastly looking toward the north, where the Mount Hermon rose up before us all glorious to behold. But so far as I could gather from some words that I heard, he still spake to himself concerning the “congregation:” and once I thought I heard him praying for us with great passion, and beseeching God that he would bring us out of the horrible pit, out of the mire and clay, and set our feet upon the rock. When I spake with one of the disciples concerning that which was to come, and how the Kingdom was to be established, now that all Israel was against us, he would fain have kept silence; and when I urged him, he said, “What know I? Sometimes I am lifted up in my soul, and I know and am sure that the Kingdom shall come; but at other times I know not what to think, nor can I understand why Jesus would work no sign in heaven. But then again I say unto myself that whether he be the Redeemer of Israel or no, he is of a surety the Redeemer of my soul. For in his presence I find life: but to be absent from him is death. The sum is, that I trust in him to-day, for I know not what else to do: but as for the morrow and what it may bring forth, behold, all things are uncertain and unshapen in my mind.” The like also said others of the disciples, albeit not in such plain terms, for almost all spake unwillingly. Yet could I not but perceive that the most part had been sorely shaken in their faith, because Jesus had denied to work a sign in heaven: and it was even as Jesus had warned us; the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees had entered into our souls. Wherefore, although we all still called our Master, as before, the Christ or Anointed, and the Redeemer, or at the least, the Prophet, yet inwardly we were wavering in our hearts; and a breath would have moved us this way or that way, towards belief or towards unbelief. For indeed we were being driven down, as it were, from our former faith, whereby we had believed in Jesus as a worker of wonders or fulfiller of prophecy; and we were falling (as it seemed, but in truth we were rising) to another and a new belief in Jesus as a man, full of tenderness, and suffering, and patience, and withal of a goodness that could not be deceived nor disappointed; and this perchance was the very thing whereat Jesus aimed, to wit, that we should believe in him as the Son of man, conquering through weakness. For our former belief was as the mire or shifting sand, because it could give no firm footing: but our new belief in the Son of man was to be as the rock whereon we and all others were to stand immovable for ever. But we, at this present, being, as it were, still on the sand, and not yet aware of the Rock, how nigh it was at hand, we, I say, knowing in our minds that we wavered, were notwithstanding desirous to keep our wavering secret; insomuch that we spake little on this matter one to another, yea, we would scarce confess it each man to himself: so greatly did we tremble at the very thought of severing ourselves from Jesus. Yet, for all our dissembling, Jesus knew our thoughts; even as though he had been seated in our hearts.

By this time the aspect of the country shewed that we were leaving the region of the lake. For the thickets of oleander, which but yesterday we had seen blossoming thickly with red blossoms, were here, in these northern and higher parts, still green and in bud. Now also the snows of Hermon seemed very nigh, even over our heads; and we were not far from the town called Cæsarea Philippi. The grass was everywhere green under our feet as though the land knew not drought; and trees of diverse foliage shaded us overhead; and as we drew nigh to the town, we heard the sound of many rushing waters.

Yet though all things shewed thus fair around us, our hearts were sad, yea, all the sadder for the beauty of the place, which seemed to rejoice while we sorrowed. Jesus himself looked not now (as he was wont to do) on the glories of the mountainous country, but rather on our faces; neither did he take note of the cedars, and the olives, and the groves of oak-trees; nor of the great plains of green grass; nor even of the Mount Hermon, the top whereof, all covered with snow, waxed daily larger and yet larger as we journeyed still northward. Ever and anon he turned to us as if he would have said some new thing to us; but as often, he turned again, as if still perceiving that the hour was not yet come.

We were now nigh to the outskirts of the town called Cæsarea, even at the place where the fountain of the Jordan floweth forth; and here Jesus bade us sit down. If we had had leisure to admire, there was much cause for admiration. Before us, just above the spring, was a cavern wherein the inhabitants worshipped a certain false god of the Greeks, which haunteth thickets and forests, and he is called Pan: whence also the town in former times had been called Paneas. Higher up, on the summit of the cliff, stood a temple of marble, white and fair to look on, built by Herod in honour of Augustus Cæsar. Below, from the foot of the same rock, there flowed forth, under cover of poplars and oleanders, many little rills of pure clear water, which, meeting together, made a rushing stream, the noise whereof was exceedingly pleasant. This stream it is which passeth through the lake called Merom, and, flowing southward, becometh our river of Jordan.

But for all these sights we had at that time no leisure; or if we noted them, they brought no delight to our eyes, being unto us but as signs and tokens that we were exiles. Our great river Jordan, the river of Joshua and of Gideon, a river of mighty works and wonders of the Lord, how exceeding small did it appear, even as a mere rivulet, in this land of the Gentiles where it first arose! The cavern of Pan also and the temple of Augustus filled us with sad thoughts, to think how all the world was covered with the worship of false gods as with a net; so that, save in one little corner of Syria, the true God was not known. The name of Augustus also, yea, and the very names of the town whereon we looked, Paneas and Cæsarea Philippi, these all but spake aloud, testifying unto us how great was the power not only of the Greek worship, but also of the Roman kingdom, inasmuch as our own princes built these temples and towns, and called them by the names our conquerors. Wherefore it was not possible that a son of Israel, fresh from Galilee, should look on such sights as these and not feel downcast.

Jesus stood a while, steadfastly beholding the temple; then he sat down amid the rest of us. Our speech among ourselves had, even before, become less and less while we waited for that which was to come from Jesus: for we had all perceived these many hours that he purposed to say unto us some new and strange thing. But now, because we knew that the time was at hand, none dared so much as to open his mouth; and a deep silence and a great fear fell on us; and we saw the lips of Jesus moving as if in prayer. But when Jesus at last opened his mouth to speak, he said nothing at first such as we had expected and dreaded. For he neither rebuked us nor prophesied evil, but only asked us touching himself (calling himself by that familiar title whereof I have made mention above) what the common people considered him to be, saying, “Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?” Straightway all the disciples began severally to make answer, saying that most men in that region deemed him to be Elias risen from the dead; but that others supposed him to be the prophet concerning whom Moses had prophesied, and others again called him one of the prophets. These several answers we made to Jesus readily and promptly, for our hearts were lightened because we supposed that this was the question that he had had so long in mind, for which we had all been waiting. But Jesus, as I noted, listened to our speech as a mother listeneth to the prattle of her children. For his lips still moved as if in prayer, and his eyes were fixed upon the temple on the rock before him; and his mind was not with us nor with our words, but with something that still was to come from the depths of the future.

And lo, while we were still reporting this and that, touching the opinions of the common people, Jesus turned himself round and set his eyes full upon us who were sitting before him, but most directly (as it seemed to me) upon Peter, who was face to face with him: and he opened his mouth and said, “But whom say ye that I am?” As he spake these words, he looked at us for an instant as if he could read our inmost hearts, and as if he knew that we could not and would not deceive him. Then he turned from us again, as though to leave us to our own thoughts, because he would not constrain us nor draw forth from us any word that was not our own: and so he remained, gazing steadfastly on the rock and waiting for our answer, for as long, I suppose, as one would take to count ten very slowly.

I have read in a certain story of enchantments how a prince was caused by a magician to plunge his head into a vessel of water and to hold his breath, and behold, while he was holding his breath beneath the water, he seemed to himself to have travelled long journeys and to have been shipwrecked and to have had many other adventures, and to have married a wife and reared up children, and to have passed through a life of many years even till he had reached old age, and all this within the compass of a single breath. Even so was it with us while Jesus was waiting our answer. For we seemed in that moment to be summing up all our past life and all the life that lay before us, in order to answer this question of Jesus aright. For we dared not lie to him nor flatter him; yea, rather we would have displeased him sooner than have flattered him. Such a constraint lay upon us to speak the truth at all times in his presence; and especially now. But what the truth might be we knew not, and searched through all the past and groped in the future, if perchance we might light upon it.

A few Sabbaths, before, we should have been very ready with an answer; for then all men said that Jesus was the Redeemer, the Christ; and we had often said the same thing. But now many stumblingblocks lay in our path. The Scribes and the pious and the learned, all, save a very few, had rejected Jesus. The patriots had joined themselves to him for a long time, but they too had cast him off; yea, and even the rest of the men of Galilee had been led away with them. The poor, as well as the rich, were now against us. In fine, none were now on our side except a few of the lowest of the people, sinners and tax-gatherers and the like. Besides all this, John himself, a prophet, and one whom Jesus had called the greatest of the prophets, even he seemed to have wavered in his faith in Jesus; and when he had besought help in prison, Jesus had helped him not. Yea, and Jesus himself of late seemed to have cast off faith in himself. For when he had been challenged to work a sign in heaven, which seemed an easy thing for a prophet to do, he had refused to do it. Also, he had fled from the face of Herod and from the Pharisees, and seemed to have become a wanderer rather than a deliverer. Else, why were we, children of Abraham and inheritors of the Land of Promise, sitting there like exiles, looking on the temples of false gods in a foreign land? Even in the words wherein he had questioned us, Jesus had spoken of himself as the Son of man. Might it not be indeed that he was, and knew that he was, naught more than one of the common sons of man? When had he called himself the Redeemer? Never.

We seemed in that instant to have been brought by the hand of the Lord into a place where two roads met, and we had to choose one of the two. And if we went by the one, behold we had against us not only Rome and Greece and the whole inhabited world, but also the princes of our own people, and the priests and the patriots, and the traditions also of our forefathers handed down through many hundreds of years, and the Law given unto us by God for which many generations of our countrymen had fought and died; yea, even Moses himself seemed to be as an adversary if we went by that road. But on the other road no one stood against us; only we saw not Jesus there. So the conclusion seemed to be that we had in that instant to choose between Jesus and all the world.