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To Forgive or To Revenge. Collection of articles
Coming back to our example regarding two employees, let us ask the following question: Does it mean that the second individual is talentless? Of course, it doesn't. The problem is in the point that in contradiction to the first one this individual is out of his position. His talent is not being implemented, and therefore both his job and his life in its entirety are filled with a feeling of dissatisfaction.
Talents and Parents
Every individual comes into this life with some kind of talent, and there is certain explanation for that. Any talent is a capacity for something being available by any individual since his birth, which means having come with him from his past embodiment.
Any talent stands for the things he used to learn in the past as well as his mastership he has gained. In other words, these are available skills, and he will not have to practice them all over again. An objective of this life is to turn gift to account and to develop other ones.
These are parents who undoubtedly play their role in a timely determination and development of a child's talent. For a majority of them it is not any secret anymore. There is another amazing thing: the energy of parental influence will not grow weaker as the years go by, and the grown-up children will receive confession of parental preferences, without perceiving their own genuine capabilities or any necessity for their implementation. For instance, mistakenly many of them are of the opinion that they would implement their talents whereas actually they fulfill aspirations of their parents.
There exist four basic models of parents' attitude to their child's talent. Let us describe them briefly.
1. Realizing one's own dream by virtue of the child
Non-embodiment of a parent in the favorite job often turns into responsibility for the child: the mother having dreamt of becoming a ballet dancer anticipates her daughter to become a ballet dancer; the father having failed to achieve any success in sports would train his son from his early years with a view that he would deserve victories on the sports arena. The problem is in the point that hereby any true calling of the children will not be taken into consideration. It is being disregarded and will not be developed further on. You could teach your child to perform something in a very good way to receive excellent grades. However, hereby it is impossible to make it live in charity and to feel happiness. This is because of the fact that fulfilling a parent's dream, an individual would make happy parents, but not himself.
Modern life abounds with many instances of the parents who have devotedly dedicated themselves to a career of their child and afterwards having become their managers. Under the guidance of benevolent intentions such parents would pursue one and only one goal – to manage an individual and to dispose of his time, facilities and life.
2. Following in the footsteps of parents
Sometimes some parents having themselves reached high levels in that or another sphere would oblige the child to follow in his footsteps: to master the same occupation, to continue the dynasty and to develop the family business. Though, a talent of any individual appears to be one-of-a-kind gift having been given only to him alone. This is by no means always the case that a child's gift would coincide with its parents' talents and such a case is sooner a kind of exception than a rule. So, in spite of the desires a child would be obliged to go on with the business of his famous parents. And this is just not a rarity. Exactly because of similar situations there used to come up an opinion as though nature takes rest via the children of talented parents. This is not the case at all. Simply and solely, the talent of such children is out in some other sphere, notwithstanding it frequently remains not properly understood and unrealized.
3. Assistance or harm
Time and again, observing that a child has got obvious capabilities for some things, the parents would sincerely desire to assist the child developing them. The problem turns up when the parents would take up a matter too eagerly and would make far-reaching plans, and so would turn a favorite thing to do into a duty. Very soon a child would lose its desire to be engaged in the things by which it was fascinated just a while ago. It would try to look for some other piece of fascination. If however, parents' attitude would not change in broad-brush terms, and they would intend to turn any activity of the child into persistent disciplined work, it could occur that neither of the activities would be a heart-to-heart one for the child. And the matter herein is not that the child does not possess any aptitudes, but it consists in the fact that they fail to develop neither of them. Because any talent can be brought to light in the child itself and it is impossible to do it forcefully.
A grown-up person would not frequently feel that fine line when a child performs something of one's own free will and when it does the same thing at the parents' bidding. As recently as yesterday the child was ecstatically fiddling around with paints, and today in response to the parents' words “Why aren't you drawing today? Go and draw! You wanted to become an artist, did not you? For this purpose you have to work and draw every day!”, the child would throw its paints rather far off and moreover, it would obtain a title of lazybones being unable to bring to a close not a single thing. That is all. Whether the child had an artistic talent remained unclear.
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