So Runs the World

Anton. – It seems to me that you are again right. But thus you will fight two battles, and your forces will have to be divided.

Doctor. – No! I am strong enough.

Anton. – Say frankly – she is betrothed.

Doctor. – Yes.

Anton. – And she loves her fiancé.

Doctor. – Or she deceives herself.

Anton. – At any rate, she does not love you.

Doctor. – In the first place, I must get rid of him. In the mean while, go and work.

Anton (consulting watch). – In a few moments the committee will be here to see you.

Doctor. – Very well. The prince is coming with the Countess Miliszewska and her son, my opponent. Let us be going.

SCENE II

Prince, Stella, Mrs. Czeska, Countess Miliszewska, Jan Miliszewski,

Podczaski.

Countess. – It is impossible to understand. The world grows wild nowadays.

Prince. – I say the same. Stella, do I not say so?

Stella. – Very often.

Countess (low to her son). – Sit near the princess and entertain her.

Go ahead!

Jan. – I am going, mamma.

Countess. – There is too much of that audacity. I have sent Mr. Podczaski to the electors, and they say: "We do not need representatives without heads." I am only surprised that the prince is not more indignant. I rush here and there, I pray and work, and they dare to oppose to my son Mr. Jozwowicz.

Prince. – But madam, what can I do?

Countess. – And who is Mr. Jozwowicz – a physician? What does a doctor amount to? Jan has influence, importance, social position, relatives – and what has the doctor? From whence did he come here? Who ever heard of him? Really, I cannot speak calmly, and I think it must be the end of the world. Is it not, Mr. Podczaski?

Podczaski (saluting). – Yes, countess, God's wrath. There were never such loud thunders.

Prince. – Thunders? Mrs. Czeska, what? Have your heard thunder?

Czeska. – It is a very usual thing at the end of spring. Do not mind it.

Countess (in a low voice). – Jan, go ahead.

Jan. – Yes, mamma, I am going.

Countess. – Prince, you will see that Jan will not be elected purely on account of the hatred against us. They say that he does not know the country, and does not understand its needs. But before all we must not allow such people as Jozwowicz to become important in the country. Prince, is it not so?

Prince. – He will not ask your permission.

Countess. – That is exactly why the world must be coming to an end – that such people can do as they please! They dare to say that Jan will not be able to make a good representative, and that Mr. Jozwowicz will. Jan was always an excellent student in Metz. Jan, were you not a good student?

Jan. – Yes, mamma.

Podczaski. – Countess, you are perfectly right. It is the end of the world.

Stella. – What did you study especially?

Jan. – I, madam? I studied the history of heresy.

Princess. – Mrs. Czeska – what? Have studied what?

Countess. – They reproach us with not having talent, but for diplomacy one must have talent.

Podczaski. – The count does even look like a diplomat.

Prince (aside). – Well, not very much.

Czeska. – The count does not have much to say.

Jan. – No, madam, but sometimes I speak quite enough.

Countess. – For my part, I declare that if Jan is not elected, we will leave the country.

Podczaski. – They will be guilty of it.

Countess. – It will be the fault of the prince.

Prince. – Mine?

Countess. – How can you permit such as Jozwowicz to compete with society people? Why do you retain him?

Prince. – Frankly speaking, it is not I who keep him – it is he who keeps me. If it were not for him, I should long since be (he makes a gesture).

Countess (angrily). – By keeping him, you serve the democracy.

Prince. – I – I serve the democracy? Stella, do you hear? (He raps with his stick.)

Countess. – Every one will say so. Mr. Jozwowicz is the democratic candidate.

Prince. – But I am not, and if it is so I will not allow him to be. I have enough of Mr. Jozwowicz's democracy. They shall not say that I am the tool of democracy. (He rings the bell. A servant enters.) Ask the doctor to come here.

Countess. – Now the prince is a true prince.

Prince. – I serve democracy, indeed!

Stella. – Papa, dear.

Countess. – We must bid the prince good-bye. Jan, get ready. Good-bye, dear Stella. Good-bye, my child. (To her son.) Kiss the princess's hand.

SCENE III

The same.

Jozwowicz. – Your Highness must excuse me if I am too late, but I was obliged to receive the delegates.

Countess. – What delegates are here? Jan, go ahead.

Doctor (saluting). – Count, you must hasten, they are leaving.

Podczaski. – I am Your Highness's servant. (Countess, Jan, Podczaski go out. Stella and Mrs. Czeska follow them.)

SCENE IV

Jozwowicz. Prince. (A moment of silence.)

Prince (rapping with his stick). – I forbid you to become a member of parliament.

Doctor. – I shall not obey.

Prince. – You make me angry.

Doctor. – Your Highness closes to me the future.

Prince (angrily). – I have brought you up.

Doctor. – I preserve Your Highness's life.

Prince. – I have been a second father to you.

Doctor. – Your Highness, let us speak calmly. If you have been to me a father, I have until now been to you a son. But the father must not bar to his son the road to distinction.

Prince. – Public distinction is not for such people as you, sir.

Doctor (laughing). – A moment ago Your Highness called me a son.

Prince. – What son?

Doctor. – Your Highness, were I your son I would be rich and have a title – in a word everything Your Highness possesses. But being a poor man, I must make my way, and no one has the right to bar it to me, especially if my road is straight and honest. (Laughing.) Unless Your Highness would like to adopt me in order to preserve the family.

Prince. – What nonsense you are talking.

Doctor. – I am only joking. Well, Your Highness, let us cease this irritation.

Prince. – It is true, it hurts me. Why will you not give up the idea of becoming a member of parliament?

Doctor. – It is my future.

Prince. – And in the mean time I am vexed by every one on that account. When I was young I was in many battles and I did not fear. I can show my decorations. I was not afraid of death on the battlefield, but those Latin illnesses of yours – Why do you look at me in that way?

Doctor. – I am looking as usual. As for your illness, I will say that it is more the imagination of Your Highness than anything else. The constitution is strong, and with my assistance Your Highness will live to the age of Methusaleh.

Prince. – Are you sure of it?

Doctor. – Positive.

Prince. – Good boy! And you will not leave me?

Doctor. – Your Highness may be assured of that.

Prince. – Then you may become a member of parliament or whatever you please. Stella! Oh, she is not here! Upon my honor, that Miliszewski is an ass. Don't you think so?

Doctor. – I cannot contradict Your Highness.

SCENE V

The same. Stella and Mrs. Czeska.

Stella. – I came because I was afraid you would quarrel. Well, what is the end of the discussion?

Prince. – Well, that good-for-nothing man will do what he pleases.

Doctor. – The fact is that the prince has approved of my plans and has granted me permission to try my luck at the election.

Mrs. Czeska. – We had better all go to the garden. Mr. Pretwic and

Count Drahomir are waiting – we are going for a sail on the lake.

Prince. – Then let us be going (they go out). You see, madam, that

Miliszewska!

SCENE VI

Jozwowicz, Stella. Then Drahomir.

Stella. – How is my father's health?

Doctor. – All that can be expected. But you are pale, princess.

Stella. – Oh, I am well.

Doctor. – It is the consequence of the betrothal.

Stella. – It must be.

Doctor. – But health requires one to be merry – to enjoy life.

Stella. – I do not wish for any other distraction.

Doctor. – If not distraction, at least enjoyment. We here are too grave for you. Perhaps we cannot understand you.

Stella. – You are all too good.

Doctor. – At least solicitous. If you have a moment to spare let us be seated and have a talk. My solicitude must explain my boldness. With the dignity of a fiancé, serenity and happiness generally go hand in hand. When the heart is given willingly, all longing ceases and the future is viewed with serenity.

Stella. – My future contains something which might cause even the most valiant to fear.

Doctor. – Of what are you talking? You have called me a sceptic, but it is I who says: who loves, believes.

Stella. – What then?

Doctor. – Who doubts?

Stella. – Doctor.

Doctor. – Princess, I do not inquire. There are moments when the serenity visibly departs from your face, therefore I question you, which is my duty as a physician and a friend. Be calm. Pray, remember that this is asked by a man whom a while ago you called "brother," and who knows how dear to him is the happiness of such a sister! I have no one in this world – all my love of family is centred in your house. My heart has also its sorrows. Pray, quiet my apprehensions – that is all I ask you.

Stella. – What apprehensions?

Doctor. – Apprehensions of which I dare not speak. Since my return I have watched you constantly, and the more I watch you the more do I fear. You fear the future – you do not look into it with confidence and hope.

Stella. – Permit me to go.

Doctor. – No, madam. I have the right to ask, and if you fear to look into the bottom of your heart, then I have the right to say that you lack courage, and for such sinful weakness one pays later with his own happiness and the happiness of others. I suffer also – but I must – I must. Madam, listen to me. If in your heart there is even the shadow of a doubt, you have mistaken your sentiments.

Stella. – Is it possible to make such a mistake?

Doctor. – Yes. Sometimes – often one mistakes sympathy, pity, commiseration for love.

Stella. – What a dreadful mistake!

Doctor. – Which one recognizes as soon as the heart flies in another direction. The dignity of a fiancé is a hidden pain. If I am mistaken, pray forgive me.

Stella. – Doctor, I do not wish to think of such things.

Doctor. – Then I am not mistaken. Do not look on me with fear. I wish to save you, my dear child. Where is your heart? The moment that you recognize you do not love Mr. Pretwic, that moment will tell you whom you do love. No, I shall not withdraw my question. Where is your heart? By God, if he is not equal to you, he shall rise to your height! But no, I have become a madman.

Stella. – I must be going.

Doctor (barring the way). – No, you shall not go until you have given me an answer. Whom do you love?

Stella. – Doctor, spare me – otherwise I shall doubt everything. Have pity on me.

Doctor (brutally) – Whom do you love?

SCENE VII

The same. Drahomir

Drahomir. – Princess.

Stella. – Ah!

Drahomir. – What! Have I frightened you? I came to tell you that the boats are waiting. What is the matter with you?

Stella. – Nothing. Let us be going.

(Drahomir offers his arm – they go out.)

SCENE VIII

Doctor (alone – looking after them). – Oh! I – under – stand!

END OF ACT II* * * * *

ACT III

The same Drawing-room.

SCENE I

(Mr. Podczaski enters, followed by a servant.)

Podczaski. – Tell the Doctor that Mr. Podczaski wishes to see him on an important matter.

Servant. – The Doctor is very busy. The princess is ill. But I will tell him (goes out).

Podczaski (alone). – I have enough of this work for nothing. The countess sends me about to agitate for her, but when I ask her for some money, she answers: We shall see about it after the election. She is an aristocrat and she refuses a hundred florins to a nobleman. To the deuce with such business. I had better try elsewhere, to serve the Doctor. He pays because he has common sense. And as he will bite them, then I will rise in consideration.

SCENE II

Podczaski. Jozwowicz.

Podczaski. – Your servant, sir.

Doctor. – What can I do for you?

Podczaski. – Well, sir, I am going to come right to the point. You know what services I have rendered the Countess Miliszewski?

Doctor. – Yes, you have been agitating against me in favor of Count Miliszewski. Podczaski. – No, not at all, sir. Well, sir, it was so, but I am going to change that, and you may be certain —

Doctor. – In a word, what do you wish, sir?

Podczaski. – God sees, sir, that I served the countess faithfully, and it cost me quite a little, but on consulting my conscience I have concluded not to act any more against such a man as you, sir, for the sake of the country.

Doctor. – I appreciate your sentiments, which are those of a good citizen. You do not wish to act against me any longer?

Podczaski. – No, sir!

Doctor. – You are right. Then you are with me?

Podczaski. – If I may offer my services —

Doctor. – I accept.

Podczaski (aside). – He is a man – I have a hundred florins in my pocket already. (Aloud) My gratitude —

Doctor. – Mine will be shown after the election.

Podczaski. – Oh!

SCENE III

The same. Jan Miliszewski – then Anton.

Jan. – Good-morning, doctor. Is my mother here?

Doctor. – The countess is not here.

Jan. – We came together, but mamma went directly to the prince's apartment. I remained alone and I cannot find my way to the prince's apartment. (Seeing Podczaski, who bows to him) Ah! Mr. Podczaski, what are you doing here?

Podczaski. – Your servant, sir. Well, I came to consult the doctor – I have rheumatism in my feet.

Jan. – Doctor, will you be kind enough to show me to the Prince's apartment?

Doctor. – They are in the left wing of the château.

Jan. – Thank you. But later I would like to have a talk with you.

Doctor. – I will be at your service, sir.

(Jan goes toward the door. He knocks against Anton.)

Anton. – I beg your pardon, sir.

Jan. – Pardon (he adjusts his monocle and looks at Anton – then goes out).

Anton (to Doctor). – I was told you were here and I rushed. Listen, a matter of great importance. (Seeing Podczaski) What! You are here? Our adversary here?

Podczaski (speaking in Anton's ear). – I am no longer your adversary.

Anton (looking at him). – So much the better then – but leave us alone just the same.

Podczaski (aside). – Bad. (Aloud) Gentleman, do not forget me. (Aside)

The devil has taken my hundred florins. (He goes out.)

Anton. – What did he wish?

Doctor. – Money.

Anton. – Did you give it to him?

Doctor. – No.

Anton. – You did well. We do not bribe. But no matter about that. What good luck that they put up Miliszewski for a candidate. Otherwise you would be lost because Husarski would have had the majority.

Doctor. – Anton, I am sure that we will be defeated.

Anton. – No! What am I for? Uf! How tired I am. Let me rest for five minutes (he sits down). Good gracious! how soft the furniture is here. We must donate some money for some public purpose. Have you any money?

Doctor. – I have some.

Anton. – We are going to give that money to build a school.

Doctor. – Here is the key of my desk – you will find some ready money there, and some checks.

Anton. – Very well, but I must rest a moment. In the mean while what is the news here? You are not looking well. Your eyes have sunken. Upon my word, I was not so much in love with my wife. Speak – I will rest in the mean while – but speak frankly.

Doctor. – I will be frank with you.

Anton. – What more?

Doctor. – That marriage will be broken off.

Anton. – Why.

Doctor. – Because there are times when these people do not succeed in anything.

Anton. – To the garret with those peacocks. And what about that cannibal Pretwic?

Doctor. – A long story. The princess has mistaken the sympathy which she feels for him for something more serious. To-day she knows that she does not love him.

Anton. – That is good. Truly, it looks as though they were pursued by fate. It is the lot of races that have lived too long.

Doctor. – Implacable logic of things.

Anton. – Then she is not going to marry him. I pity them, but to the deuce with sentimentality!

Doctor. – She would marry him if it killed her to keep her word. But there is a third person entangled in the matter – Count Drahomir.

Anton. – At every step one meets a count! He betrays Pretwic?

Doctor. – What a blockhead you are.

Anton. – Well, frankly speaking, I do not care one whit for your drawing-room affairs.

Doctor. – Drahomir and she do not know that they love each other. But something attracts them to each other. What is that force? They do not ask. They are like children.

Anton. – And how will you profit from all this?

Doctor. – Listen, you democrat. When two knights are in love with one noble damsel, that love usually ends dramatically – and the third party usually gets the noble damsel.

Anton. – And the knights?

Doctor. – Let them perish.

Anton. – What then do you suppose will happen?

Doctor. – I do not know. Pretwic is a passionate man. He does not foresee anything – I see only the logic of things which is favorable to me, and I shall not be stupid enough to place any obstacles to my happiness.

Anton. – I am sure you will help it along in case of need.

Doctor. – Well, I am a physician. It is my duty to assist nature.

Anton. – The programme is ready. I know you. I only wish to ask you how you know what you say is so. Maybe it is only a story.

Doctor. – I can have verification of it through the princess's ex-governess.

Anton. – You must know as soon as possible.

Doctor. – Mrs. Czeska will be here in a moment. I asked her to come here.

Anton. – Then I am going. Do you know what? Do not help nature too much, because it would be —

SCENE IV

The same. Mrs. Czeska.

Czeska (entering). – You wished to speak to me?

Doctor. – Yes, madam.

Anton (bows to Mrs. Czeska, then speaks to Jozwowicz). – I am going to get the money and I will be back in a moment.

Doctor. – Very well. (Anton goes out.)

Czeska. – Who is that gentleman?

Doctor. – A pilot.

Czeska. – What do you mean?

Doctor. – He guides the boat in which I am sailing. As for the rest, he is a horribly honest man.

Czeska. – I do not understand very well. What did you wish to speak to me about?

Doctor. – About the princess. You are both like mother and daughter, and you should have her entire confidence. What is the matter with her? She conceals something – some sorrow. As a doctor I must know everything, because in order to cure physical disease one must know the moral cause. (Aside) The spirit of Aesculapius forgive me this phrase.

Czeska. – My good sir, what are you asking about?

Doctor. – I have told you that the princess conceals some sorrow.

Czeska. – I do not know.

Doctor. – We both love her; let us then speak frankly.

Czeska. – I am willing.

Doctor. – Then, does she love her fiancé?

Czeska. – How can you ask me such a question? If she did not, she would not be betrothed to him. It is such a simple thing that even I do not talk to her about it any more.

Doctor. – You say: "I do not talk about it any more"; so you have already talked about it.

Czeska. – Yes. She told me that she was afraid she did not love him enough. But every pure soul fears that it does not fulfil its duty. Why did you ask me that?

Doctor (saluting her). – I have my reasons. I wished to know. (Aside) I am wasting my time with her.

SCENE V

The same. Jan Miliszewski.

Jan. – I could not find mamma. Good-morning, madam. Do I intrude?

Czeska. – Not at all, sir. (To Jozwowicz) She will do her duty; rest assured of that.

Doctor. – Thank you. (Czeska goes out.)

Jan. – Doctor.

Doctor. – I am listening to you, sir.

Jan. – Let us speak frankly. Mamma wishes me to become a member of parliament, but I do not care for it.

Doctor. – You are too modest, sir.

Jan. – You are sneering, and I do not know how to defend myself. But I am frank with you – I would not care a bit about being elected to parliament if it were not for my mamma. When mamma wishes for something it must be accomplished. All women of the family of Srokoszynski are that way, and mamma is of that family.

Doctor. – But, count, you have a will of your own.

Jan. – That is the trouble – the Miliszewskis are all ruled by the women. It is our family characteristic, sir.

Doctor. – A knightly characteristic indeed! But what can I do for you?

Jan. – I am not going to oppose you.

Doctor. – I must be as frank with you as you are with me. Until now you have helped me.

Jan. – I don't know how, but if it is so, then you must help me in your turn.

Doctor. – In what?

Jan. – It is a very delicate question. But you must not tell mamma anything about it.

Doctor. – Certainly not.

Jan. – Mamma wishes me to marry the princess, but I, sir, I do not want —

Doctor. – You do not want?

Jan. – It astonishes you?

Doctor. – I must be frank —

Jan. – I do not wish to because I do not wish to. When a man does not feel like marrying, then he does not feel like it. You will suppose that I am in love with some one else? It may be. But it is not with the princess. Naturally, when mamma says: "Jan, go ahead," I go ahead, because I cannot help it. The Miliszewskis knew how to manage the men, but not the women.

Doctor. – I do not understand – how can I be useful to you?

Jan. – You can do anything in this house, so you must help me secretly, to be refused.

Doctor. – Count, you may rely on me in that matter.

Jan. – Thank you.

Doctor. – And it will be so much the easier done because the princess is betrothed.

Jan. – I did not know that any one dared to compete with me.

Doctor (aside). – What an idea! (Aloud) It is Mr. George Pretwic.

Jan. – Then they wished to make sport of me.

Doctor. – Mr. Pretwic is an audacious man. You were perfectly right when you said the question was a delicate one. The people are afraid of Mr. Pretwic; if you were to give up, people would say that —

Jan. – That I am also afraid? Then I will not give up. My dear sir, I see you do not know the Miliszewskis. We do not know how to handle the women, but there is not a coward in our family. I know that people laugh at me, but the one who would dare to call me a coward would not laugh. I will show them at once that I am not a coward. Where is Mr. Pretwic?

Doctor. – He is in the garden (pointing through the window). Do you see him there, near the lake?

Jan. – Good-bye.

SCENE VI

Jozwowicz alone – then Anton.

Doctor. – The men who have not such sons are great! Ha! ha! ha!

Anton (rushing in). – You are here? Here are your receipts for the money. Why are you laughing?

Doctor. – Miliszewski has gone to challenge Pretwic.

Anton. – Are they crazy?

Doctor. – What an opinion she would have of Pretwic if he were to quarrel with such an idiot!

Anton. – You have done it.

Doctor. – I told you that I shall assist nature.

Anton. – Do as you please; I withdraw.

Doctor. – Good-bye. Or no, I am going also. I must prevent the adventure from going too far.

Anton. – I wanted to tell you that I must buy some food for my children. I will return the money – later on. Is it all right?

Doctor. – How can you ask? (Goes out.)

SCENE VII

Stella and Drahomir. (They enter from the garden.)

Stella. – That walk tired me. See how weak I am (sits down). Where is

Mr. Pretwic?

Drahomir. – Young Miliszewski asked to speak to him a moment. The countess is speaking to the prince. It seems that their conversation is very animated because the countess did not know that you were betrothed, and she had some designs on you. But pray excuse me; I laugh and you suffer by it.

Stella. – I would laugh too if I did not know how much it troubles my father. And then, I pity Count Miliszewski.

Drahomir. – I understand how a similar situation would be painful to a man who was in love, but such is not the case with the count. He will console himself if his mother orders it.