So Runs the World

Czeska. – My dear Mr. Pretwic, you are worthy of Stella and she will be happy with you. My dear Stelunia —

Stella (appearing in the doorway leading to the garden. She claps her hands). – What good news! The doctor is coming. He is already in the village. Papa will at once be more quiet and is in better humor.

Czeska. – You must not rush. She is already tired. Where is the prince?

Stella. – In the garden. He wishes you to come here.

George. – We will go.

Stella (steps forward – then stops). – But you must not tell the doctor anything of our affair. I wish to tell him first. I have asked papa also to keep the secret. (They go out.)

SCENE IV

Jozwowicz (enters through the principal door). – Jan, carry my trunk up-stairs and have the package I left in the antechamber sent at once to Mr. Anton Zuk, the secretary of the county.

Servant (bows). – Very well, doctor.

Jozwowicz (advances). – At last (servant goes out). After three months of absence, how quiet this house is always! In a moment I will greet them as a future member of the parliament. I have thrown six years of hard work, sleepless nights, fame, and learning into the chasm which separates us – and now we shall see! (He goes toward the door leading to the garden.) They are coming – she has not changed at all.

SCENE V

(Through the door enter Stella, Mrs. Czeska, George, followed by

Drahomir, arm and arm with the Prince Starogrodzki.)

Stella. – Here is our doctor! Our dear doctor! How do you do? We were looking for you!

Czeska (bows ceremoniously). – Especially the prince.

Jozwowicz (kissing Stella's hand). – Good evening, princess. I have also been anxious to return. I have come to stay for a longer time – to rest. Ah, the prince! How is Your Highness's health?

Prince (shaking hands). – Dear boy. I am not well. You did well to come. You must see at once what is the matter with me.

Jozwowicz. – But now Your Highness will introduce me to these gentlemen.

Prince. – It is true. Doctor Jozwowicz, the minister of my interior affairs – I said it well, did I not? For you do look after my health. Count Karol Drahomir.

Drahomir. – Your name is familiar to me, therefore, strictly speaking,

I alone ought to introduce myself.

Doctor. – Sir.

Prince (introducing). – Mr. George Pretwic, our neighbor, and – (Stella makes a sign) and – I wish to say —

George. – If I am not mistaken, your schoolmate.

Doctor. – I did not wish to be the first to recollect.

George. – I am glad to see you. It is quite a long time since then, but we were good comrades. Truly, I am very glad, especially after what I have heard here about you.

Drahomir. – You are the good spirit of this house.

Stella. – Oh, yes!

Prince. – Let me tell you my opinion of him.

George. – How often the best student, Jozwowicz, helped Pretwic with his exercises.

Doctor. – You have a good memory, sir.

George. – Very good, indeed, for then we did not call each other "sir."

Once more, Stanislaw, I welcome you.

Doctor. – And I return the welcome.

George – But do I not remember that after you went through college you studied law?

Doctor. – And afterward I became a doctor of medicine.

Prince. – Be seated. Jan, bring the lights.

Stella. – How charming that you are acquainted!

Doctor. – The school-bench, like misery, unites people. But then, social standing separates them. George's future was assured. I was obliged to search for mine.

Prince. – He has searched also, and found adventures.

Drahomir. – In two parts of the world.

Czeska. – That is splendid.

Doctor. – Well, he followed his instinct. Even in school he broke the horses, went shooting and fenced.

George. – Better than I studied.

Doctor (laughing). – Yes – we used to call him the general, because he commanded us in our student fights.

Drahomir. – George, I recognized you there.

Czeska. – But now, I think, he will stop fighting.

Stella. – Who knows?

George. – I am sure of it.

Doctor. – As for me, I was his worst soldier. I never was fond of playing that way.

Prince. – Because those are the distractions of the nobility and not of a doctor.

Doctor. – We begin to quarrel already. You are all proud of the fact that your ancestors, the knights, killed so many people. But if the prince knew how many people I have killed with my prescriptions! I can guarantee you that none of Your Highness's ancestors can be proud of such great number.

Drahomir. – Bravo. Very good!

Prince. – And he is my doctor!

Stella. – Papa! The doctor is joking.

Prince. – Thanks for such jokes. But it is sure that the world is now upside-down.

Doctor. – Your Highness, we will live a hundred years more. (To

George.) Come, tell me, what became of you? (They go out.)

Prince. – You would not believe how unhappy I am because I cannot get along with that man. He is the son of a blacksmith from Stanislawow. I sent him to school because I wished to make an overseer of him. But afterwards he went to study at the University.

Drahomir. – He is twice a doctor – he is an intelligent man. One can see that by merely looking at him.

Stella. – Very much so.

Czeska. – So intelligent that I am afraid of him.

Drahomir. – But the prince must be satisfied.

Prince. – Satisfied, satisfied! He has lost his common sense. He became a democrat – a sans culotte. But he is a good doctor, and I am sick. I have some stomach trouble. (To Drahomir.) Have you heard of it?

Drahomir. – The prince complained already some time ago.

Czeska. – For twenty years.

Prince. – Sorrow and public service have ruined my health.

Czeska. – But Your Highness is healthy.

Prince (angrily). – I tell you that I am sick. Stella, I am sick – am I not?

Stella. – But now you will feel better.

Prince. – Because he alone keeps me alive. Stella would have died also with heart trouble if it had not been for him.

Drahomir. – If that is so, he is a very precious man.

Stella. – We owe him eternal gratitude.

Prince (looking at George). – He will also be necessary to Pretwic.

What, Stella, will he not?

Stella (laughing). – Papa, how can I know that?

Drahomir. – Truly, I sometimes envy those stalwart men. During the battle they strengthen in themselves the force which lessens and disappears in us, because nothing nourishes it. Perhaps we are also made of noble metal, but we are eaten up with rust while they are hardened in the battle of life. It is a sad necessity.

Czeska. – How about Mr. Pretwic?

Drahomir. – George endured much, it is true, and one feels this although it is difficult to describe it. Look at those two men. When the wind blows George resists like a century-old tree, and men like the doctor subdue it and order it to propel his boat. There is in that some greater capacity for life, therefore the result is more easy to be foreseen. The tree is older, and although still strong, the more it is bitten by the storms, the sooner it will die.

Prince. – I have said many times that we die like old trees. Some other thicket grows, but it is composed only of bushes.

Stella. – The one who is good has the right to live – we must not doubt about ourselves.

Drahomir. – I do not doubt, even for the reason that the poet says: "Saintly is the one who knows how to be a friend" (bows to Stella) "with saints."

Stella. – If he has not secured their friendship by flattery.

Drahomir. – But I must be permitted not to envy the doctor anything.

Stella. – The friendship is not exclusive, although I look upon the doctor as a brother.

Prince. – Stella, what are you talking about? He is your brother as I am a republican. I cannot suffer him, but I cannot get along without him.

Czeska. – Prince, you are joking —

Drahomir (smiling). – Why should you hate him?

Prince. – Why? Have I not told you? He does with us what he pleases. He does as he likes in the house, he does not believe anything, and he is ambitious as the deuce. He is already a professor in the University, and now he wishes to be a member of parliament. Do you hear? – he will be a member of parliament! But I would not be a Starogrodzki if I had permitted it. (Aloud.) Jozwowicz!

Doctor (he is near a window). – Your Highness, what do you order?

Prince. – Is it true that you are trying to become a member of parliament.

Doctor. – At your service, Your Highness?

Prince. – Mrs. Czeska. Have you heard – the world is upside down,

Jozwowicz!

Doctor. – What is it, Your Highness?

Prince. – And perhaps you will also become a minister.

Doctor. – It may be.

Prince. – Did you hear? And do you think that I will call you "Your

Excellency"?

Doctor. – It would be proper.

Prince. – Jozwowicz, do you wish to give me a stroke of apoplexy?

Doctor. – Be calm, Your Highness. My Excellency will always take care of your Grace's bile.

Prince. – It is true. The irritation hurts me. What, Jozwowicz – does it hurt me?

Doctor. – Yes, it excites the bile, but it gives you an appetite. (He approaches with George.)

Stella. – What were you talking about?

Doctor. – I have been listening to George. Horrible! Dreadful! George made a mistake by coming into the world two hundred years too late. Bayards are not appreciated nowadays.

Czeska. – Providence is above all.

Drahomir. – I believe it also.

Doctor. – Were I a mathematician, without contradicting you I would say that, as in many cases we do not know what X equals, we must take care of ourselves.

Prince. – What are you saying?

Stella. – Doctor, pray do not talk so sceptically, or there will be a war – not with papa, but with me.

Doctor. – My scepticism is ended where your words begin, therefore I surrender.

Stella. – How gallant – the member of parliament.

SCENE VI

The same Servant.

Servant. – Tea is served.

George. – I must bid you good-bye.

Stella. – Why, why are you going so early to-night?

Doctor (aside). – My old schoolmate is at home here.

George. – You must excuse me. I am very happy with you, but to-night I must be going home. I will leave Drahomir – he will replace me.

Stella. – To be angry with you would be to make you conceited. But you must tell me why you are going.

George. – The people who have lost their homes by fire are in my house.

I must give some orders and provide for their necessities.

Czeska (aside). – He is sacrificing pleasure to duty. (Aloud.) Stella!

Stella. – What is it?

Czeska. – To-morrow we must make some collections for them, and provide them with clothing.

Doctor. – I will go with you, ladies. It will be the first case in which misery did not search for the doctor, but the doctor searched for misery.

Czeska. – Very clever.

Prince (rapping with the stick). – Pretwic!

George. – Your Highness, what do you order?

Prince. – You say that this rabble is very poor?

George. – Very poor, indeed.

Prince. – You say that they have nothing to eat?

George. – Almost nothing, my prince.

Prince. – God punishes them for voting for such a man (he points to

Jozwowicz) as that one.

Doctor (bows). – They have not elected me yet.

Stella. – Papa.

Prince. – What did I want to say? Aha! Pretwic!

George. – I listen to you, my prince.

Prince. – You said that they were starving?

George. – I said – almost.

Prince. – Very well, then. Go to my cashier, Horkiewicz, and tell him to give that rabble a thousand florins. (He raps with the stick.) They must know that I will not permit any one to be hungry.

Stella – Dear father!

Drahomir. – I knew it would end that way.

Prince. – Yes, Mr. Jozwowicz! Noblesse oblige! Do you understand, your Excellency, Mr. Jozwowicz?

Doctor. – I understand, Your Highness.

Prince (giving his arm to Mrs. Czeska). – And now let us take some tea.

(George takes leave and goes out.)

Doctor. – I must also be going. I am tired and I have some letters to write.

Prince. – Upon my honor, one might think that he was already a minister. But come to see us – I cannot sleep without you.

Doctor. – I will be at the service of Your Highness.

Prince (muttering). – As soon as this Robespièrre arrived, I immediately felt better.

Stella. – Doctor, wait a moment. I do not take any tea. I will only put papa in his place, and then I will be back immediately. I must have a talk with you.

SCENE VII

Jozwowicz alone – then Stella.

Doctor. – What are these people doing here, and what does she wish to tell me? Is it possible – But no, it is impossible. I am uneasy, but in a moment everything will be cleared up. What an ass I am! She simply wishes to talk to me about the prince's health. It is this moonlight that makes me so dreamy – I ought to have a guitar.

Stella (entering). – Mr. Jozwowicz?

Doctor. – I am here, princess.

Stella. – I did my best not to make you wait too long. Let us be seated and have a talk, as formerly, when I was small and not well and you took care of my health. I remember sometimes I used to fall asleep, and you carried me in your arms to my room.

Doctor. – The darling of every one in the house was very weak then.

Stella. – And to-day, if she is well, it is thanks to you. If she has any knowledge, it is also thanks to you. I am a plant of which you have taken good care.

Doctor. – And my greatest pride. There were few calm, genial moments in my life – and peace I found only in that house.

Stella. – You were always good, and for that reason I look upon you as an older brother.

Doctor. – Your words form the only smile in my life. I not only respect you, but I also love you dearly – like a sister, like my own child.

Stella. – Thank you. I have not the same confidence in any one else's judgment and honesty as I have in yours, so I wished to speak to you about an important matter. I hope even that what I am going to tell you will please you as much as it pleases me. Is it true that you are going to become a member of parliament?

Doctor (with uneasiness). – No, it is only probable. But speak of what concerns you.

Stella. – Well, then – ah, Lord! But you will not leave papa, will you?

Doctor (breathing heavily). – Oh, you wish to speak of the prince's health?

Stella. – No, I know that papa is getting better. I did not expect that it would be difficult – I am afraid of the severe opinion that you have of people.

Doctor (with simulated ease). – Pray, do not torture my curiosity.

Stella. – Then I will close my eyes and tell you, although it is not easy for any young girl. You know Mr. George Pretwic well, do you not?

Doctor (uneasily). – I know him.

Stella. – How do you like him? He is my fiancé.

Doctor (rising). – Your fiancé?

Stella. – Good gracious! – then you do not approve of my choice? (A moment of silence.)

Doctor. – Only one moment. Your choice, princess, if it is of your heart and will, must be good – only – it was unexpected news to me; therefore, perhaps, I received it a little too seriously. But I could not hear it with indifference owing to the affection I have for – your family. And then, my opinion does not amount to anything in such a matter. Princess, I congratulate you and wish you all happiness.

Stella. – Thank you. Now I shall be more easy.

Doctor. – You must return to your father. Your news has been so sudden that it has shocked me a little. I must collect my wits – I must familiarize myself with the thought. But in any event, I congratulate you.

Stella. – Good night. (She stops in the door, looks at the Doctor and goes in.)

SCENE VIII

Jozwowicz (alone). – Too late!

END OF ACT I* * * * *

ACT II

The stage represents the same drawing-room.

SCENE I

Jozwowicz. Anton.

Doctor. – Anton, come here. We can talk quietly, for they are preparing my room. What news from the city?

Anton. – Good news. In an hour or so a delegation of the voters will be here. You must say something to them – you understand? Something about education – public roads, heavy taxes. You know what to say better than I do.

Doctor. – I know, I know; and how do they like my platform?

Anton. – You have made a great hit. I congratulate you. It is written with scientific accuracy. The papers of the Conservative party have gone mad with wrath.

Doctor. – Very good. What more?

Anton. – Three days ago your election was doubtful in the suburbs. I learned about it, however – gathered the electors and made a speech. "Citizens," I said, in the end, "I know only one remedy for all your misery – it is called Jozwowicz. Long live Progress!" I also attacked the Conservative party.

Doctor. – Anton, you are a great boy. Then there is a hope of victory?

Anton. – Almost a surety. And then, even if we do not win now, the future is open to us. And do you know why? Because – leaving out the details of the election, you and I, while talking of our business affairs, need not laugh at each other, like Roman augurs. Progress and truth are on our side, and every day makes a new breach in the old wall. We are only aiding the centuries and we must conquer. I am talking calmly: Our people, our electors are merely sheep, but we wish to make men of them, and therein lies our strength. As for me, if I were not persuaded that in my principles lie truth and progress, I would spit on everything and become a monk.

Doctor. – But it would be a dreadful thing if we do not win this time.

Anton. – I am sure we will win. You are a fearful candidate for our adversaries. You have only one antagonist who is at all dangerous – Husarski, a rich and popular nobleman.

Doctor. – Once I am in parliament, I will try to accomplish something.

Anton. – I believe in you, and for that reason I am working for you. Ha! ha! "They have already taken from us everything," said Count Hornicki at the club yesterday, "importance, money – even good manners." Well, at least I have not taken their good manners from them. To the devil with them!

Doctor. – No, you have truly not taken their good manners from them.

Anton. – But it is said in the city that your prince has given a thousand florins to those whose houses were burned. This may be bad for us. You must do something also.

Doctor. – I did what I could.

Anton. – I must also tell you that yesterday – What is the matter with you? I am talking to you and you are thinking about something else.

Doctor. – Excuse me. I am in great trouble. I cannot think as calmly as usual.

Anton. – The idea!

Doctor. – You could not understand it.

Anton. – I am the coachman of the carriage in which you are riding – I must know everything.

Doctor. – No. It does not concern you.

Anton. – It does concern me, because you are losing your energy. We have no need of any Hamlets.

Doctor (gloomily). – You are mistaken. I have not given up.

Anton. – I see. You close your mouth on this subject. It is not in your character to give up.

Doctor. – No. You must work to have me elected. I would lose doubly if we were bitten.

Anton. – They must have burned you like the deuce, for you hiss dreadfully.

Doctor. – An old story. A peasant did not sleep for six years, did not eat, bent his neck, wounded his hands, and carried logs for a hut. After six years a lord came along, kicked the hut and said: "My castle shall stand here." We are sceptical enough to laugh at such things.

Anton. – He was a real lord!

Doctor. – A lord for generations. He carried his head so high that he did not notice what cracked beneath his feet.

Anton. – I like the story. And what about the peasant?

Doctor. – According to the peasant tradition, he is thinking of a flint and tinder.

Anton. – Glorious idea! Truly we despise tradition too much. There are good things in it.

Doctor. – Enough. Let us talk of something else.

Anton (looking around). – An old and rich house. It would make a splendid cabin.

Doctor. – What do you say?

Anton. – Nothing. Has the old prince a daughter?

Doctor. – Yes. Why?

Anton (laughing). – Ha, ha! Your trouble has the scent of a perfume used by a lady. I smell here the petticoat of the princess. Behind the member of parliament is Jozwowicz, just as behind the evening dress there is the morning gown. What a strong perfume!

Doctor. – You may sell your perspicacity at another market. It is my personal affair.

Anton. – Not at all, for it means that you put only half your soul into public affairs. To the deuce with such business! Look at me. They howl at me in the newspapers, they laugh at me – but I do not care. I will tell you more! I feel that I shall never rise, although I am not lacking in strength nor intelligence. I could try to get the first place in camp to command, but I do not do it. Why? Because I know myself very well. Because I know that I am lacking in order, authority, tact. I have been and I am a tool, used by such as you, and which to-morrow may be kicked aside when it is no more needed. But my self-love does not blind me. I do not care most for myself – I am working for my convictions – that is all. Any day I may be ousted from my position. There is often misery in my house, and although I love my wife and children – no matter. When it is a question of my convictions, I will work, act, agitate. I put my whole soul in it. And for you, the petticoat of a princess bars your way. I did not expect this from you. Tfu! spit on everything and come with us.

Doctor. – You are mistaken. I have no desire for martyrdom, but for victory. And the more personal ties there are between me and public affairs, the more I will serve them with my mind, heart, and deeds – with all that constitutes a man. Do you understand?

Anton. – Amen. His eyes shine like the eyes of a wolf – now I recognize you.

Doctor. – What more do you wish?

Anton. – Nothing more. I will only tell you that our motto should be:

Attack the principles, and not the people.

Doctor. – Your virginal virtue may rest assured. I shall not poison any one.

Anton. – I believe you, but I must tell you that I know you well. I appreciate your energy, your learning, your common sense, but I should not like to cross you in anything.

Doctor. – So much the better for me.

Anton. – But if it is a question of the nobility, notwithstanding our programme I make you a present of them. You shall not cut their heads off.

Doctor. – To be sure. And now go and get to work for me – or rather, for us.

Anton. – For us, Jozwowicz. Do not forget that.

Doctor. – I will not swear it to you, but I promise you that I will not forget.

Anton. – But how will you manage that nobleman?

Doctor. – Do you require that I make you my confidant?

Anton. – In the first place, I do not need your confidence, because in our camp we have sufficient perspicacity. There is the matter of the prince's daughter – that is all. But I am always afraid that for her sake you will abandon public affairs. As I am working for you, I am responsible for you, therefore we must be frank.

Doctor. – Let us be frank.

Anton. – Therefore you have said to yourself: I shall get rid of that nobleman. Do it then. It is your business – but I ask you once more: Do you wish to become a member of parliament for us, or for the princess? That is my business.

Doctor. – I throw my cards on the table. I, you, we are all new people, and all of us have this quality – we are not dolls, painted with the same color. There is room in us for convictions, love, hatred – in a word, as I told you, for everything of which a man of complex nature is composed. Nature has given me a heart and the right to live, therefore I desire for happiness; it gave me a mind, therefore I serve my chosen idea. One does not exclude the other. Why should you mix the princess with our public affairs – you, an intelligent man? Why do you wish to replace life by a phrase? I have the right to be happy, and I shall achieve it. And I shall know how to harmonize the idea with the life, like a sail with a boat. I shall sail more surely then. You must understand me; in that is our strength – that we know how to harmonize. In that lies our superiority over others, for they do not know how to live. What I will amount to with that woman, I do not know. You call me a Hamlet – perhaps I may become a Hamlet, but you have no need of it.