Narrative of the Life and Travels of Serjeant B–

The ordeal trials of melted lead, or boiling oil, as practised in India, are considered by the Hindoos as a standing miracle. The ceremony, which is in the following manner, is performed with great solemnity: The party who has appealed to this form of trial for his innocence, whether on suspicion of murder, theft, or unfaithfulness to the marriage bed on the part of women, is publicly brought to the side of a fire, on which is placed a vessel of boiling water or oil, but most commonly melted lead; the magistrates of the country or city being present, his hand is washed clean, and the leaf of a particular tree, with his accusation written upon it, is tied about his waist; and then, on a solemn invocation of the deity by the Brahmin, the person plunges in his hand and scoops up the boiling fluid! and if he draws it out unhurt, he is absolved; but if otherwise, be receives the punishment due to the crime charged against him.

The ceremonies of the Hindoos are dictated by the Brahmins and the sacred books; but to give you a detail of their number and absurdity, is a task to which I am altogether unequal, and which could neither instruct nor entertain the reader. I will, therefore, close this sketch with giving you a few translations from their Vedas or sacred books, which will give the reader some idea both of the doctrines and style of the Hindoos, as translated by a very able pen.

"1. By one Supreme Ruler is this universe pervaded, even every world in the whole circle of nature; enjoy pure delights, O man! by abandoning all thoughts of this perishable world; and covet not the wealth of any creature existing.

"2. He who in this life continually performs his religious duties, may desire to live a hundred years; but, even to the end of this period, thou shouldst have no other employment here below.

"3. To those regions where evil spirits dwell, and which utter darkness involve, all such men go surely after death, as destroy the purity of their own souls.

"4. There is one supreme Spirit, which nothing can shake, more swift than the thought of man.

"5. That supreme Spirit moves at pleasure, but in itself is immovable; it is distant from us, yet very near us; it pervades this whole system of worlds, yet is infinitely beyond it.

"6. The man who considers all beings as existing even in the supreme Spirits, and the supreme Spirit pervading all beings, henceforth views no creature with contempt.

"7. In him who knows that all spiritual beings are the same in kind with the Supreme Spirit, what room can there be for delusion of mind; or what room for sorrow, when he reflects on the identity of spirit?

"8. The pure enlightened soul assumes a luminous form, with no gross body, with no perforation, with no veins nor tendons, untainted by sin, itself being a ray from the infinite Spirit, which knows the past and the future, which pervades all, which existed with no cause but itself, which created all things as they are in ages very remote.

"9. They who are ignorantly devoted to the mere ceremonies of religion, are fallen into thick darkness; but they surely have a thicker gloom around them who are solely given to speculation.

"10. A distinct reward, they say, is reserved for ceremonies, and a distinct reward, they say, for divine knowledge; adding, this we have heard from sages who declared it unto us.

"11. He alone is acquainted with the nature of ceremonies, and with that of speculative science, who is acquainted with both at once; by religious ceremonies he passes the gulf of death, and, by divine knowledge he attains immortality.

"12. They who adore only the appearances and forms of the Deity, are fallen into thick darkness; but they surely have a thicker gloom around them, who are solely devoted to the abstract existence of the divine essence.

"13. A distinct reward, they say, is obtained by adoring the forms and attributes; and a distinct reward, they say, by adoring the abstract essence; adding, this we have heard from sages who declared it to us.

"14. He only knows the forms and essence of the Deity who adores both at once; by adoring the appearance of the Deity, he passes the gulf of death; and by adoring his abstract essence, he attains immortality.

"15. Unvail, O thou who givest sustenance to the world, the face of the true sun, which is now hidden by a vase of golden light! so that we may love the truth, and know our whole duty.

"16. O thou, who givest sustenance to the world; thou sole mover of all; thou who restrainest sinners; who pervadest yon great luminary; who appearest as the sun of the creator, hide thy dazzling beams, and expand thy spiritual brightness, that I may view thy most glorious, real form!"

The following is translated from a Sanscrit work, entitled, "The Ignorant Instructed."

"1. Restrain, O ignorant man, thy desire of wealth, and become a hater of it in body, understanding, and mind; let the riches thou possessest be acquired by thy own good actions: with this gratify thy soul.

"2. The boy so long delights in his play; the youth so long pursues his beloved; the old so long broods over melancholy thoughts, that no man meditates on the supreme Being.

"3. Who is thy wife, and who is thy son? How great and wonderful is this world! Whose thou art, and whence thou comest? Meditate on this, my brother; and again on this.

"4. Be not proud of wealth, and thy attendants, and youth; since time destroys them all, in the twinkling of an eye: check thy attachment to all these illusions, like Moyra; fix thy heart on the foot of Brahma, and thou wilt soon know him.

"5. As a drop of water on the leaf of the lotus, thus, or more slippery, is human life: the company of the virtuous endures here but for a moment; that is the vehicle to bear thee over land and ocean.

"6. To dwell in the mansions of God, at the foot of a tree; to have the ground for a bed, and a hide for a vesture; to renounce all ties of family or connections: who would not receive delight from this abhorrence of the world?

"7. Set not thy affections on foe or friend; on a son or a relation; in war or in peace, bear an equal mind towards all: if thou desiredst it, thou wilt soon be like Vishnu.

"8. Day and night, evening and morn, winter and spring, depart and return: time sports, age passes on; desire and the wind continue unrestrained.

"9. When the body is tottering, the head grey, and the mouth toothless; when the smooth stick trembles in the hand it supports, yet the vessel of covetousness is unemptied.

"10. So soon born, so soon dead; so long lying in thy mother's womb, so great crimes are committed in the world. How then, O man! canst thou live here below with complacency?

"11. There are eight original mountains, and seven seas: – Brahma, Indra, the Sun, and Kudra, – these are permanent; not thou, not I, not this or that people; what, therefore, should occasion our sorrow?

"12. In thee, in me, in every other, Vishnu resides; in vain art thou angry with me, not bearing my reproach: this is perfectly true, all must be esteemed equal; be not proud of a magnificent palace."

When the reader takes a cursory view of the principal doctrines and precepts of the Hindoo Vedas, he may be very apt to imagine that the writer, or writers, have received their information from some other source than the fragments of a broken law, which are still imprinted upon the mind of man, even in a state of nature; and he may not unlikely suppose, that these men had this knowledge – although remote and much corrupted, from our sacred volume; particularly as that part, entitled "The Ignorant Instructed," seems to partake of the style of Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes. But if you make a more minute investigation, you will see much wanting, and much wrong; and no marvel, for they who are deprived of the great blessing of revelation, or they who despise it, or wish to be wise above what is written, are like people groping in the dark; and will certainly either fall short of the truth, or stumble over it altogether. Those sages of antiquity, to whom the writers seem to refer, were perhaps distinguished for their wisdom; yet by that very wisdom they knew not God in his saving characters. Man may know, to a certain extent, that there is a God; because "the heavens declare his glory, and the firmament sheweth his handy-works." And the apostle says, in his epistle to the Romans, that "the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: which shew the work of the law written in their hearts; their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the meanwhile accusing, or else excusing one another." I say, therefore, that by the external and internal aid which man is possessed of, even in a state of nature, he may know by natural religion that there is a God; yet it is impossible that he should come to the knowledge of God in reference to man, as a guilty, depraved, miserable captive, and yet a condemned slave, redeemed by a price of infinite value. No; it never has, it never will, "enter into the heart of man," unassisted by revelation, to come to a saving knowledge of God, "even that knowledge which is eternal life." Let us, therefore, bless God for our Bibles, and willingly give our prayers, and our purses also, "according as God hath prospered us," to send the Gospel to that country "where there is no vision, and where the people are perishing for lack of this knowledge;" for, "How can they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how can they hear without preachers? and how can they preach except they be sent?" And, when we consider that there are computed to be no less than sixty millions even in India in that lamentable condition, of "being without the knowledge of the true God, and Jesus Christ whom he hath sent," how ought it to stir up our minds to sympathise with their condition, and to give, cheerfully and liberally, "not grudgingly, or of necessity; for the Lord loveth a cheerful giver: and the liberal soul shall be made fat?"

CHAPTER XII

January 29, 1814.– The detachments of invalids from Punamalee embarked at Madras on board the Marquis Wellington and Princess Charlotte of Wales. The Marquis Wellington, of nine hundred tons, wherein I was, received sixty of these invalids, viz. a party of the Royals, detachments from the 30th, 69th, 80th, 89th, and 25th light dragoons. We had very bad accommodation on board of this ship, having no less than sixteen sick men between each gun, many of whom could do nothing for themselves.

We had a long and very disagreeable passage; but I could have submitted to all the hardships attending the voyage much better, had it not been the dreadful wickedness that prevailed among us, as I shall have occasion to exemplify: but, indeed, this was the principal objection I had all along to the army; and it was the uncommon wickedness of my own regiment which rendered my other troubles less tolerable. But, to return to the children: when we embarked, an exact list of the names of the men was sent along with us; and when my name was called, and the children given in as belonging to me, the question was very naturally asked, Why is one of these children named Fleming, and the other Lee, when you are Serjeant B.? I related to them the story of the children in as few words as possible, all the time dreading lest they should not be permitted to go home with us; but the Lord, who has the "hearts of all men in his hand, and turns them as the rivers of water," gave us favour in the eyes of the Captain, who not only allowed them to go, but in a very short time after we sailed ordered his steward to give us regularly some broken meat after dinner. In this, he not only relieved the fatherless, but us also; for I generally received as much as sufficed both for my wife and myself. This was a great blessing; for, had I been obliged to take the ship's provisions, I certainly would have been at a great loss, considering my weak state of body, and the perpetual thirst to which I was subject. Here I thought I saw the blessing of God attending us for our kindness to the orphans. Here the Lord proved himself to be "a father to the fatherless," in putting it into our hearts to have compassion upon them; and, "when father and mother (in a certain sense) had forsaken them, then the Lord had thus taken them up."

I shall omit the greater part of my journal concerning this voyage; as there is a great variety of matter in which the reader could take no interest; such as our progress, the latitudes the ship reached at different dates – the number of torn sails, and broken yards – the dates of men's deaths, and to what regiments they belonged, &c. and notice a few circumstances which deeply interested me; and these I will state in nearly the same words as those in which they are inserted in my journal, that you may see how they affected me at the time, and to enable you better to understand what was my situation, and what sort of companions I had on board. I have noted down part of their discourse, just as it was uttered; and although you cannot be entertained, but rather shocked at the wickedness of man, and astonished at his depravity, yet the perusal may answer one good purpose; it may, by the blessing of God, render you more thankful that you are not compelled, as I was, to live among such monsters; but that you have a home, be it never so homely, and opportunity given you to read, meditate, and pray; that you have your Sabbaths and your ordinances; and, in a word, "That you can sit under your vines and fig trees, having none to make you afraid."

It was considerably against my comfort, while I was in this ship, that I was almost totally deprived of my wife's company; for a Captain Gordon of our regiment, who wished us both well, recommended her to a lady, whom she attended during the passage, and who paid her very handsomely for her trouble. This lady being in very delicate health, my wife was almost constantly employed in her cabin. I therefore had neither the pleasure of her company, nor much of her assistance in looking after the orphans; so that, I may say, I was both father and mother to them during the voyage.

March 20.– I see the Sabbath is always particularly pitched upon for wickedness of various kinds. I have thought that it was upon account of my taking more particular notice of what was going on, and having a greater desire to get myself composed for reading or serious reflection upon this day, that led me to think it worse employed than any other; but I perceive that I have been mistaken, for I find, upon a more careful examination, that upon the Lord's day these poor creatures seem as it were to think it a kind of unnecessary, as well as a disagreeable restraint put upon them; and that they therefore determine not to submit to it; and are resolved to make it appear that they are such brave fellows that God shall not restrain them; but, by their words, as well as their actions, say, "Our tongue is our own, who is lord over us? surely we will break his bands asunder, and cast away his chords from us."

This morning is introduced by swearing, obscene songs, abusing God's holy ordinances, and trampling upon his laws: – One man says, "Boys, get ready for drill;" another makes answer, "Drill, d – n! drill upon a Sunday;" a third begins an obscene song, painful upon any day to a modest ear; while a fourth says, "Leary, don't you know this is Sunday?" to which he makes answer, "Yes; and that his song was the text." This is certainly too much for me: I will go upon deck, and see if I can find any peace there; but when I went upon deck, there was one of our fine Scotsmen singing the "Blue Bells of Scotland," and the ship-officers pouring out the most horrid oaths against the seamen; while they, in return, were nothing behind, only in a lower tone, from fear of being heard. Oh, where shall I fly from these detestable beings, "whose throat is an open sepulchre, and whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness!" This is my company upon the Lord's day; this is all I get for a sermon, – even cursing and swearing, obscene songs, and filthy communications. It is dreadful! I think, were there no other torments in hell but such society, there is an infinite cause of gratitude due to that compassionate Saviour, "who has delivered his people from it;" but exercise patience, O my soul! consider that "the Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, as well as to reserve the unjust until the day of judgment, to be punished." I yet hope to have my Sabbaths and my ordinances. I yet hope to assemble with the people of God in his house of prayer, and, from a real experience, to say, "How amiable are thy tabernacles, O Lord of Hosts! my soul longeth, yea, even fainteth, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh crieth out for the living God," &c.

March 26.– Ten o'clock, P.M. One of the 30th Regiment departed this life. We have had a most alarming night of it, having a breeze right aft, and a sea running mountains high. It was necessary to support the masts with strong hawsers, to keep them from going over board. Upon the upper deck two of the carronades broke loose, with the smith's forge, and one of the pig styes; and upon the gun deck, all was a jumbled mass of confusion: the eighteen pound shot, foul water buckets, tins, tin-pots, salt beef, biscuit; with hats, knapsacks, red coats, and bags, knocking about among the salt water that was shipping down the hatchways. What with the noise of wind and waves above, and the rumbling and tumbling below, it was hardly possible to hear one another speak; and, when you add to all this, our being in pitch darkness21, you may see our situation was by no means enviable, but, on the contrary, very alarming and dangerous; yet these men could not forbear cursing and swearing, and flying in the face of him that could have sent us all to the bottom in a moment, ("and, O the infinite patience and forbearance of that God who did not!") I say, had we at this time gotten a watery grave, many of these hell-hardened creatures must have gone into the presence of their offended judge, blaspheming his holy and reverend name. O what a dreadful state is it to be hardened in such a manner as to be unable to cease from this drudgery even for a single hour when awake, but to "be led captive by Satan at his will!" I have often thought, and it appears to me quite scriptural, that the wicked arrive at a state of far greater perfection in sin, and ripeness for hell in this world, than the people of God do in holiness and meekness for heaven, because they are the willing "servants of sin, and free from righteousness;" but the people of God carry about with them, while here, a "deceitful heart," which often betrays them into that "which their renewed natures abhor," and makes them cry out, "O wretched man!" But it is truly a happy consideration, that when the "earthly house of this tabernacle is dissolved," sin shall give us no more annoyance, for "we shall behold his face in righteousness, and shall be satisfied when we awake with his likeness," and shall inhabit that holy "house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens."

March 27.– The Psalmist says, in the cvii. Psalm, "They that go down to the sea in ships, and do business in the great waters; these see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep, for he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof; they mount up to the heavens, they go down again into the deep; they reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man." Surely they that are in such a situation, see much of the Almighty power of that glorious Being, "who holds the wind in his fist, and the waters in the hollow of his hand;" but in this ship, at least, we do not make a right improvement of such striking calls to heavenly contemplation; for we are this day viewing these wonderful displays of omnipotence, but appear to be as insensible to their language as the finny inhabitants of the great deep.

We had prayers read this day upon the quarter deck, which we heard with difficulty; but the sound was scarcely out of our ears, when some of our fine Scotsmen were at their old trade of cursing and swearing, whistling and singing, regardless both of the Lord's day, and the solemnity of his ordinances. I do not say but the men of other countries are fully as wicked; but I think it much more strange of Scotsmen; because, generally speaking, they receive better instruction, and have had a better example set before them in their youth; and, consequently, their sin is attended with many aggravations. But I hope the time will come, when I shall have it in my power to hear the Gospel preached, and be free from such depraved society; for "as the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God! My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God?"

April 3.– This is my birth-day; and I find it also to be the Sabbath, by the way it has been introduced. I shall here note down a specimen or two of the discourse I am at present compelled to hear, that if it please the Lord to spare me to get out of this wicked place, where the works of darkness are carried on, and where the prince of darkness dwells, I may look at this, and remember my situation, and bless God for my deliverance. They are now talking of the different situations they are to hold when they go to h – ll. One says, he will be door-keeper; another, that he will be ferryman to row them over the river Styx; a third, that he is too bad for God, and he is sure that the Devil will have nothing to do with him; and, therefore, he must stand fast like the Old Buffs! But now they begin to blaspheme the "great and terrible name of God!" I will not write their awful expressions, but go out of the way a little, and, perhaps their discourse may be less shocking when I return; but I cannot expect much improvement while I am in this ship, because it is quite natural for them to speak in this way. For it is "out of the abundance of their heart that their mouth speaketh;" and they love to speak the language of hell, because it is their native country; and people are generally fond of speaking about the place they belong to.

April 8.– This is Good Friday I understand, by some of our strict religionists refusing to eat flesh. Yes, poor creatures, they are afraid of polluting themselves, although they can vomit up a belly-full of oaths without any remorse; and likewise trample upon every thing that is sacred. They are surely a sad compound of ignorance and superstition, for they do not consider that it is not that which entereth into a man that can defile him; but that which cometh out of him: these are the things which defile the man.

Early in the morning of the 10th of April we came in sight of the long-wished for island of St. Helena. This was a place which had been looked forward to with great eagerness by many in the ship besides myself, although the objects we had in view were, I doubt not, very different; for, so far as I am able to judge of my deceitful heart, the principal motive with me was the hope of seeing the Bengal and China fleets forward, as was generally expected, that we might not be detained waiting for them, but steer straight onward for Europe, and thus, by a prosperous voyage, I might be enabled sooner to leave these wicked scenes, and arrive the sooner at that happy country where the blessed streams of divine ordinances that make glad the city of our God flow in all their abundance. This was what I believe I eagerly coveted; my desires were, above all things, going out towards God, and towards the remembrance of his name; but I have every reason to believe the principal cause why many of my shipmates wished our arrival at St. Helena so intensely, was on account of their not having had it in their power, for a considerable time, to gratify a certain very strong propensity, produced by habit; or, in other words, there had raged amongst us, for some weeks, a famine of tobacco; the men had not counted on so tedious a passage to St. Helena, and, from this fatal mistake, they had not provided themselves with a sufficient stock before they came on board. The condition of many of these poor, miserable men, was indeed fitted to draw pity from all who knew from experience any thing of the amazing force of that desire, and take into account the present impossibility of getting it gratified, while, on the other hand, those who are free men, and not slaves to this lust, might be disposed to treat such people with contempt rather than sympathy, for being brought into such a miserably restless condition for the lack of an insignificant, unsightly leaf, and might think, if they had been in their circumstances, they would have thrown the pipe overboard, and have resolved against ever touching it again in their lives; but this is easier said than done, and this I know was a sacrifice which my unhappy shipmates found entirely too great to be accomplished. – No, to leave off smoking, and to cast away the pipe as a nuisance, was altogether out of the question; for smoke they must, although the appetite by which they were held in bondage compelled them to employ a strange and disgusting substitute for tobacco; for they had, for a number of days, been under the necessity of using a bit of tarry-rope yarn, in the form of oakum, with which they filled their pipes; and at that sickening stuff they would suck away until they were like persons in the rage of a fever, occasioned by the immoderate use of intoxicating liquors. We here see the great need there is for putting in practice the Apostle's resolution, "to beat under the body and keep it in subjection," that we may not be brought under the power of habits and practices, which, if not absolutely sinful in themselves, are almost sure to lead to much evil. This was, however, a great misery from which I was exempted; for although I had used tobacco for a series of years, my propensity to it by this time was completely abated. The reason of my giving up the use of tobacco was this: – Previously to our leaving Punamalee, I went to the doctor in charge of invalids, and told him I was afraid that smoking was unfavourable to my constitution, as it always excited a great palpitation at my breast, and a considerable desire to drink. He told me that if it produced such effects as I had described, it would be much better for me to give it up if I possibly could; but added he was afraid that I would find it rather difficult, as it was a habit not easily overcome. However, I promised to take his advice, and accordingly the moment I entered the barracks, I gave all my sea-stock of pipes and tobacco to one of the men; and by this one act, and the putting in full force the resolution I had formed, I was soon delivered from the desire itself, and was exempted from the dreadful effects of the present famine of that plant; the want of which has caused so much uneasiness to individuals, and such great disturbances and privations in families; and which, in no small degree, drove on our unprincipled shipmates to curse father and mother, the day of their birth, and even that providence that had placed them in circumstances wherein it was impossible for them to obtain it. But although I was not in their state with regard to that tormenting desire, yet the intelligent Christian reader will easily perceive some resemblance between their condition and mine. The expedient to which they had recourse in the absence of tobacco, gave them considerably more pain than pleasure, and rather mocked and tantalized, than gratified their propensity.