Pride and Prejudice, a play founded on Jane Austen's novel

Mr. Bennet

Yes, here they are. I will go to the library. I can receive their congratulations later. You know I am prodigiously fond of Wickham, Lizzy. I defy even Sir William Lucas himself to produce a more valuable son-in-law.

[He goes out.]

Jane

I must run and tell mamma.

[She is just starting when Wickham and Lydia enter. They are in travelling dress and are followed by servants bringing all sorts of bandboxes, wraps and parcels. They come in with the utmost unconcern and no shadow of shame.]

Lydia

Well, Jane, well, Lizzy, here we are!

Wickham

[Smiling and unabashed.] My sister, Jane – My sister Elizabeth.

[He kisses their hands. Jane and Elizabeth are confused and blushing. Neither Wickham nor Lydia is in the least discomposed.]

Lydia

[Looking about.] Good gracious! Here I am again! I am sure I had no idea of being married when I went away, though I thought it would be very good fun if I was. Why don't you take the boxes in, Harris? Wickham, have you seen my pink-flowered bandbox? [Looking over the parcels.] No, it isn't here. Oh, my dear Wickham, do go fetch it – you know 'tis the box with the white satin hat you bought me. I wouldn't lose it for the world. Go, go!

Wickham

Certainly, my dear. [To the girls.] You see how eagerly I embrace my new opportunities!

[He runs out, laughing.]

Lydia

[To Elizabeth and Jane.] Oh, girls, I am dying to give you an account of my wedding.

Elizabeth

I think there cannot be too little said on that subject.

Lydia

La, you are so strange. But Jane wants to hear, I know. Anyway, I want to tell you. Well, there was such a fuss! My aunt was preaching and talking away to me all the time I was dressing, just as if she was reading a sermon. I didn't hear one word in ten of it all. I was thinking of my dear Wickham. I longed to know whether he would be married in his blue coat. Well, we got to church, and then my uncle gave me a fright after we got there, because he was so late, and he was going to give me away, you know. But then, if he hadn't come, Mr. Darcy might have done as well.

Jane and Elizabeth

Mr. Darcy!

Lydia

Oh, yes, Darcy was there. He came along with Wickham. [Suddenly stopping.] But gracious me! I quite forgot. I ought not to have said a word about it. I promised them as faithfully – what will Wickham say? It was to be such a secret.

Jane

If it was to be a secret, Lydia, say not another word on the subject. We shall ask you no questions.

[Elizabeth looks most anxious, but says nothing.]

Lydia

Thank you – for if you did, I should certainly tell you all, and then Wickham would be angry. [She sees Mrs. Bennet, who enters in great excitement from the house.] Oh, there is mamma.

[They rush into each other's arms. Wickham returns at about the same time.]

Mrs. Bennet

Oh, my dear, dear Lydia! [To Wickham with affectionate warmth.] My dear Wickham!

[They also embrace.]

Lydia

Oh, mamma! Aren't you glad to see us? [Wickham turns and talks to Jane and Elizabeth.] Do all the people hereabouts know that I am married? I was afraid they might not, and so I let my hand just rest on the window-frame outside the carriage, so that everybody could see my wedding ring; and then I bowed and smiled like everything.

Mrs. Bennet

You may be sure, my dear, that everybody will rejoice with us in our good luck. [Sighing.] Your marriage is a great compensation to me after all my disappointment about Jane and Lizzy. I do not blame Jane, for she would have got Mr. Bingley if she could. But Lizzy! Oh, Lydia, it is very hard to think she might now have been Mrs. Collins! But how about your clothes?

Lydia

Oh, I have a lot already. You may be sure I would not forget them.

Mrs. Bennet

[Alarmed.] But you didn't know the best warehouses! Well, never mind, we will see to that later. Now you must all come in and have dinner. You must be famished. Come, girls. Come, my dear Wickham.

[They all go toward the house. At the door Lydia pushes Jane back.]

Lydia

Ah, Jane, I take your place now. I go first because I am a married woman.

[They all go into the house. After a pause, Harris's voice is heard outside.]

Harris

Will not you come into the house, Madam?

Lady Catherine

[Entering, followed by Harris.] No, I prefer to remain here. Tell Miss Elizabeth Bennet that a lady wishes to see her at once. Remember, I cannot be kept waiting.

Harris

Yes, Madam. [He bows and goes out.]

Lady Catherine

[Looks about her with a sniff, then deliberately seats herself in the big garden chair with the umbrella over it. She mutters to herself from time to time and taps her foot impatiently.] Insufferable impudence! Conceited little minx! She shall have a piece of my mind.

[Elizabeth comes to her from the house.]

Lady Catherine

[Without moving.] Miss Bennet, you can be at no loss to understand the reason of my journey hither. Your own heart – your own conscience must tell you why I come.

Elizabeth

[In unaffected astonishment.] Indeed, you are mistaken, Madam. I am not at all able to account for the honour of seeing you here.

Lady Catherine

Miss Bennet, you ought to know that I am not to be trifled with. I have just been told that you – that Miss Elizabeth Bennet would in all likelihood be soon married to my nephew, Mr. Darcy. Though I know it to be a scandalous falsehood, I instantly resolved on setting off for this place that I might make my sentiments known to you.

Elizabeth

[With astonishment and disdain.] If you believed it impossible to be true, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far. What could your Ladyship propose by it?

Lady Catherine

At once to insist upon having such a report universally contradicted.

Elizabeth

[Coolly.] Your coming to Longbourn to see me and my family, will be rather a confirmation of it, if indeed such a report is in existence.

Lady Catherine

If! Do you then pretend to be ignorant of it? Do you not know that such a report is spread about?

Elizabeth

I never heard that it was.

Lady Catherine

And can you likewise declare that there is no foundation for it?

Elizabeth

Your Ladyship may ask questions which I shall not choose to answer.

Lady Catherine

This is not to be borne. Miss Bennet, I insist upon being satisfied. Has he – has my nephew made you an offer of marriage?

Elizabeth

Your Ladyship has declared it to be impossible.

Lady Catherine

It ought to be so. But your arts and allurements may have made him forget what he owes to himself and to all his family. You may have drawn him in.

Elizabeth

If I have, I shall be the last person to confess it.

Lady Catherine

Miss Bennet, do you know who I am? I have not been accustomed to such language as this. I am Mr. Darcy's own aunt, and am entitled to know all his dearest concerns.

Elizabeth

But you are not entitled to know mine.

Lady Catherine

Let me be rightly understood. This match can never take place. No, never. Mr. Darcy is engaged to my daughter. Now what have you got to say?

Elizabeth

Only this – that if it is so, you can have no reason to suppose Mr. Darcy will make an offer to me.

Lady Catherine

[Hesitating.] The engagement between them is of a peculiar kind. While in their cradles, my sister and I planned their union. Do you pay no regard to the wishes of his friends? Do not you see that honour, decorum – nay, interest, forbid you marrying my nephew? Yes interest, Miss Bennet. For you will be slighted and despised by everyone connected with him!

Elizabeth

These are heavy misfortunes. But the wife of Mr. Darcy must have such extraordinary sources of happiness that she could have no cause to repine.

Lady Catherine

[In a rage.] Obstinate, headstrong girl! Tell me once for all – are you engaged to my nephew?

Elizabeth

[Hesitates, then firmly.] I am not.

Lady Catherine

[Relieved.] And will you promise me never to enter into such an engagement?

Elizabeth

I will make no promise of the kind.

Lady Catherine

Miss Bennet, I am shocked and astonished. I shall not go away until you have given me the assurance I require.

Elizabeth

And I certainly never shall give it. I must beg, therefore, to be importuned no further on the subject.

Lady Catherine

[In a fury, but trying to speak calmly.] Not so hasty, if you please. I had hoped to spare you this last humiliation – but your insolence forbids it. I am no stranger to the particulars of your sister's infamous elopement. I know all! The young man's marrying her was a patched-up business at the expense of my nephew. [Elizabeth starts violently.] Oh, you needn't start, Miss! Nobody knows about the whole affair better than you. But I don't wonder you blush to find yourself discovered. You used your arts well. My nephew must have spent full five or six thousand pounds to save your family from disgrace. I should think that such generosity might appeal a little to your gratitude and your sense of decency.

Elizabeth

[Amazed.] Oh, Madam, – I —

Lady Catherine

It is quite useless to protest. I have my facts from the best authority. Heaven knows Darcy has reason enough to keep away from Wickham's flirtations and entanglements, but [stopping herself.] that is a family affair. However, you have managed to get him mixed up in them again to the extent of five thousand pounds. But that is not enough, – you want to make this shameless girl my nephew's sister, and the son of his father's steward his brother. Heaven and Earth! Are the shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted?

Elizabeth

[Speaking with great effort.] Madam, you have insulted me in every possible manner. I must beg to return to the house. This is beyond endurance.

Lady Catherine

Selfish girl! You are then resolved to have him?

Elizabeth

Lady Catherine, I have nothing further to say.

Lady Catherine

[Rising from her chair.] Very well. I shall now know how to act. Do not imagine your ambition will be gratified. Depend upon it, I shall carry my point. [Going.] I take no leave of you, Miss Bennet. You deserve no such attention. You will see what it is to rouse my displeasure.

[Lady Catherine goes out.]

Elizabeth

[Sinking upon the garden seat, overwhelmed.] Can it be possible? Do we owe all this to Darcy? Oh, it is intolerable! [She puts her hands over her face in an abandonment of grief.]

Jane

[Is heard outside calling.] Lizzy! Lizzy! [She enters, and on seeing her sister rushes to her.] Lizzy dear! What is it? Is there any new trouble?

Elizabeth

[Throwing her arms about her sister.] Oh, Jane, Jane! Yes, there is no end of trouble. Lady Catherine has been here.

Jane

[Astounded.] Lady Catherine!

Elizabeth

Yes, yes, and – she says – that – oh, Jane —

Jane

[Distressed.] Tell me, Lizzy!

Elizabeth

She says it was Darcy who paid all the money to Wickham – it was Darcy saved us – and – and she says I persuaded him. I ensnared him, and – and she has insulted me.

Jane

My dear, dear Lizzy. There must be some mistake. It was my good uncle who —

Elizabeth

[A little calmer.] No – no, Jane, it must be true. I can put things together now. My aunt's hints in the letter – you know I did not want to show it you. Then what Lydia let fall, and her fear of Wickham's anger.

Jane

[Soothingly.] Well, dear, even so, Mr. Darcy's motive is clear enough – and that should give you no pain.

Elizabeth

You are mistaken. I know his motive. He feels that he is responsible because he was silent about Wickham's true character. He told me that all this would never have happened, had he done his duty. And now, he will despise us. He will never wish to see us again as long as he lives!

[She walks up and down in great excitement.]

Harris

[Entering; to Jane.] The young gentlemen from Netherfield, Madam. I told them they would find you here.

Elizabeth

Oh, Jane, I cannot see them.

[She tries to run away, but before she can escape Bingley enters, all smiles, followed by Darcy, who looks very much troubled and excited. They are both in riding dress; Darcy carries a whip.]

Bingley

[Shaking hands.] Miss Bennet, I am so happy to see you again. Miss Elizabeth, it is good indeed to be back once more at Longbourn.

[He takes Jane to a garden seat.]

Darcy

[Embarrassed.] Miss Bennet, believe me, I should not have followed my friend. I only expected to ride with him to the Lodge, but – but I met my aunt coming away from here, and from something she said, I feared, – I imagined she might have offended – distressed you.

[Elizabeth does not reply.]

Bingley

[Gaily.] Miss Bennet is going to show me the Hermitage. We shall be back directly.

[Jane and Bingley go out.]

Darcy

[Looking anxiously at Elizabeth, who remains silent.] Forgive my intrusion. I will go.

[He starts to go away.]

Elizabeth

[Recovering herself.] No – stay, Mr. Darcy. Excuse my own incivility. Your aunt's visit has excited me. I shall be myself in a moment. [Darcy stands by, miserable. At length she speaks in a calmer tone.] Mr. Darcy, your aunt has told me of our overwhelming obligation to you. You must let me thank you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister.

Darcy

[Exploding and banging his whip against his knees.]

Damn! – Oh, I beg your pardon, Miss Bennet. I beg your pardon. What right has my aunt to meddle in my affairs? How dare she give you such distress?

Elizabeth

It is far better that we know the truth, Mr. Darcy. For my part, I can never express to you our obligation.

Darcy

Oh, Miss Bennet – I beg of you! The obligation was entirely my own. I only did what was my decent, plain duty. [Faltering.] You remember – I told you – if I had spoken, this would never have happened.

Elizabeth

Yes, I remember. But you exaggerated your responsibility. I – we – of course my father will see you about your loan to us. I would not have Lady Catherine think —

Darcy

[Furious again.] Oh, I will settle matters with Lady Catherine! Have no fears on that score, Miss Bennet. She shall be set right, I assure you.

Elizabeth

Thank you. And for all your trouble – your kindness – my family can never repay you.

Darcy

Your family owes me nothing. If I had any thought beyond my duty, it was a thought of – you. [Elizabeth turns away.] Oh, pardon me. Perhaps, I ought not to say all this – but I owe you a great deal, Miss Bennet – more than you can know; and I want you to understand me better. I really am not the pretentious prig I must have seemed to you. I wish you could forgive my abominable pride.

Elizabeth

[Looking at him with a half smile.] I will, on one condition.

Darcy

Name it.

Elizabeth

That you forget my unwarrantable prejudice.

Darcy

Oh, Miss Bennet! [He goes impetuously forward – then restraining himself, smiles and looks down at her.] I really think, after all, I shall have to be grateful to my aunt. She has done us an enormous service.

Elizabeth

[Smiling still more.] Well, Lady Catherine loves to be useful!

[At the back of the scene Bingley and Jane, absorbed in each other, pass by, hand in hand. Elizabeth looks at them, then turns to Darcy.]

Elizabeth

[Archly.] Is that by your permission?

Darcy

[Ruefully.] Yes, I told you I had been kinder to my friend than to myself.

[Elizabeth, silent, still looks after Bingley and Jane.]

Darcy

[Continues in a discouraged tone.] Well, I deserve it. It is my own fault. My selfish conceit has wounded you past help. Every sentiment of your nature has felt it – seen it.

Elizabeth

[Demurely.] But one sentiment they say is blind.

Darcy

[Stunned.] Miss Bennet! [Elizabeth looks up at him. He rushes toward her.] Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!

[He holds her in his arms.]

CURTAIN