Talkers: With Illustrations

“What do you mean, Mr. Eadie?” inquired Mr. Musgrove, as though he understood the remark to apply to himself.

“I will tell you, Mr. Musgrove. Now, I hope you will not think that I am the inventor of what I am about to tell you, or that I even believe it, for I have no reason for doing so.”

“What is it, Mr. Eadie? What is it?”

“I would not dream of telling you, if I did not desire that you might stand well before the public and your customers in particular.”

“That is what I am anxious to do; and what I am always studying to do; and I never yet had any fears about the matter.”

“Nor have I, Mr. Musgrove; but it is said that you make short weight and measure.”

“This is the first time that ever anything of the kind came to my ears since I have been in business,” said Mr. Musgrove, with considerable feeling.

“The thing has been told me by several individuals; and I fear the report is going the round of the village, much to your injury.”

“I am exceedingly sorry for it. But, Mr. Eadie, I must know the name of the party who has thus suffered from my dishonesty. I must trace this matter out, for my honour and happiness are dependent upon it. I scorn such a thing in the very thought.”

“Yes, and it is said to have been in connection with a little child, too, and that makes the thing so much the worse.”

“Well, now, Mr. Eadie, I must know the name of the party,” said Mr. Musgrove, very warmly.

“I feel considerable reluctance to give names,” replied Eadie.

“You need not fear of being involved in any unpleasantness,” answered Musgrove.

“So far as that goes, you know, I have no fear. But if you must know, I will tell you. It is in connection with the family of Bakers.”

“Is it possible!” exclaimed Mr. Musgrove. “Do you know, Mr. Eadie, that I and that family are on the most friendly terms. We visit each other often; and they are most regular and frequent customers of mine. I can hardly believe, Mr. Eadie, that there is any truth in the report.”

“I hope it may not be true, but it is strange so many should talk about it, if it were not. But I have no interest in telling you of this, I do it for your good.”

“Thank you, thank you, Mr. Eadie.”

Eadie had now done his business, so off he started, and left Mr. Musgrove reflecting. “Strange,” thought he to himself, “that the Bakers have never said anything to me; that they should continue so friendly; that they should still send to my shop for everything they need. I cannot account for it.” He continued the subject of considerable emotion and anxiety. He informed his wife of the matter; but she did not credit the first word. She was of different temper to him. He was very anxious during the night, and slept little. How could he, when his character for probity was implicated, and his business was likely to suffer? The first opportunity he had he went to see Mrs. Baker, to inquire into the facts of the case. She was glad to see him. Upon the statement of the story, as told by Eadie, she was amazed, and exceedingly grieved. After a brief pause, she said to Mr. Musgrove, “I think I can tell you how the matter originated. My little girl went to your shop the other day for two pounds of butter, and when she brought it home, Miss Nancy, who is rather given to suspicion, thought the butter didn’t weigh two pounds, so she at once weighed it, and found that the weight was perfectly right. Mrs. Allchin called in the day after, and in conversation I happened to mention the circumstance to her. I ought to have known better; for I seldom tell her anything of the kind, because I know her gossiping humour. Mrs. Allchin and Eadie, who you say told you about it, are very intimate friends; I have no doubt she informed him in her way of exaggeration and wonder; and then he would tell you in his own peculiar way, which is far from being a way of truthfulness. If you knew him as well as I do, you would not have heard his tale at all; and I am sure you would not have been disturbed in your mind by it, because you would not have believed him. And as to the tale being circulated through the village, that may be partly true; for when anything gets into Mrs. Allchin’s or Eadie’s hands, it spreads like wildfire; but you may rest assured that no one will believe it, when it is known to come from either the one or the other. Do not be alarmed, Mr Musgrove, neither your character nor business will suffer. You stand as high as ever you did with us, and with everybody else, for aught I know. I am exceedingly sorry that the thing should have occurred.” Musgrove left Baker’s fully satisfied as to the fabrication of the tale, and still conscious of his own integrity; but he could not help feeling about it, nor could he help observing a slight decline in business from those parties who gave credence to the tale of Mrs. Allchin or Mr. Eadie.

These miserable habits of tale-bearing and meddling, of backbiting and whispering, are the source of the greater part of the quarrellings, alienations, jealousies, and divisions in families. The smallest, plainest bit of wire may become by such malicious working a sword that pierces, to the destruction of peace and happiness. The least possible authority is enough to give them warrant to set a-going an evil report, which, as it rolls, gathers from every point it touches.

As in the case of Jeremiah, “Report, say they, and we will report it. All my familiars watched for my halting, saying, Peradventure he will be enticed, and we shall prevail against him, and we shall take revenge on him” (Jer. xx. 10). As in the case also of Nehemiah, “It is reported among the heathen, and Gashmu saith it, that thou and the Jews think to rebel; and now shall it be reported to the king according to these words” (Neh. vi. 6, 7).

Gashmu saith it, anybody says it, is authority enough. What did Nehemiah know about Gashmu? What did any one know? But there are always plenty of Gashmus for the tale-bearer’s purpose. But although Gashmus be as plenty as blackberries, God’s law is absolute and explicit; it hedges this wickedness around with many provisions, and walls it in, so that a man who commits it is as if he had broken through flaming gates for the purpose. “Thou shalt not raise nor receive a false report. Put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness. Thou shalt not follow a multitude to do evil; neither shalt thou speak in a cause to decline after many to wrest judgment (Exod. xxii. 1, 2). Lord, who shall abide in Thy tabernacle? He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour” (Ps. xv.).

Then observe the vagueness and indefiniteness of the accusation, founded on what in the nature of things was absolutely impossible to be known, except by overt action; founded on suspicion or conjecture of men’s thoughts. “That thou and the Jews think to rebel!” There was no pretence that they had rebelled. There is no need to begin the lie in so gross and bungling a manner; it was bad enough to set the conjecture of an intention in motion. Whoever took that report to the king would be sure to present it thus: —

“It is said that there is rebellion in Jerusalem.”

“Rebellion! Who is at the head of it?”

“Nehemiah, the Governor.”

“And where is the proof of this thing?”

“O, Gashmu saith it.”

“And who is Gashmu?”

“O, nobody knows anything about him; but doubtless he is some responsible person!”

“A whisper broke the air, —A soft light tone, and low,Yet barbed with shame and woe;Now, might it only perish there,Nor further go!Ah me! a quick and eager earCaught up the little meaning sound!Another voice has breathed it clear,And so it wandered roundFrom ear to lip, from lip to ear,Until it reached a gentle heart,And that —it broke!”

In reflecting upon these and similar results following the work of the tale-bearer, one cannot but recommend to his attention these words of Scripture: “Thou shalt not go up and down as a tale-bearer among thy people.” “A tale-bearer revealeth secrets; but he that is a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.” “The words of a tale-bearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.” “He that goeth about as a tale-bearer revealeth secrets, therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” “Where there is no tale-bearer, the strife ceaseth.” “They learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idlers, but tattlers also, and busy-bodies, speaking things which they ought not.”

The following recipe is said to be an effectual cure of the mouth-disease of the tale-bearer. It is given in the hope that all who are so affected will give it a fair trial: —

“Take of good nature, one ounce; mix this with a little ‘charity-for-others’ and two or three sprigs of ‘keep-your-tongue-between-your-teeth;’ simmer them together in a vessel called ‘circumspection’ for a short time, and it will be fit for application. The symptom is a violent itching in the tongue and roof of the mouth, which invariably takes place when you are in company with a species of animals called ‘Gossips.’ When you feel a fit of the disorder coming on, take a teaspoonful of the mixture, hold it in your mouth, which you will keep closely shut till you get home, and you will find a complete cure. Should you apprehend a relapse, keep a small bottleful about you, and on the slightest symptom repeat the dose.”

XXI.

THE ASSENTER

“And there’s one rare, strange virtue in his speeches,The secret of their mastery – they are short.”Halleck.

This is a talker of a very accommodating kind. He is pliable as an elastic bow. He takes any shape in sentiment or opinion you please to give him, with most obliging disposition. As you think, so he thinks; as you say, so he says. If you deny, he denies; if you affirm, he affirms. He is no wrangler or disputant, no dogmatist or snubber. You may always rely upon having a hearing from him, whatever you say. And observe this, what he is to you, so he is to others, however averse they may be in sentiment to yourself. He is very much of a weathercock-make in his intellect. It seems to be fixed on a pivot, and from whichever point of the compass the wind blows in the talking world he veers round to that quarter. His pet expressions are, “Yes, truly;” “Just so;” “I believe that;” “Nothing is truer;” “That is what I have said many a time,” etc. I am not, however, disposed to think that this vacillation is owing to moral weakness so much as to want of mental calibre in independent and manly exercise.

In some it is a habit formed as the result of a desire to stand on friendly terms with everybody they hold conversation.

“It is a very fine morning, Mr. Long,” said Mr. Oakes, as he met him one day in Bond Street.

“Very fine, indeed,” said Mr. Long.

“I think we are going to have settled weather now after such a succession of storms.”

“O, yes, I think so, Mr. Oakes.”

“Did you mind that picture of Wellington as you came by Brown’s shop. Is it not fine? Did you ever see a better likeness of the glorious hero of Waterloo than that? Is it not grand?”

“It is indeed grand. I never saw anything like it. I think with you, Mr. Oakes.”

“That is a magnificent building, Mr. Long, which is in course of erection in Adelaide Street. It will be an honour to the architect, the proprietor, and the city.”

“It is indeed a magnificent building, and it will do honour to the architect, the proprietor, and the city,” replied Mr. Long.

“Did you hear Mr. Bowles lecture the other night? Was it not a grand piece of eloquence, of originality, and of literary power? I think that it was super-excellent.”

“Just so, Mr. Oakes. It was, as you say, super-excellent; that is the exact idea. It was everything you describe. I fully concur in your remarks.”

“But I did not think much of the man that supplied our pulpit on Sunday morning. He was too long, too loose, and too loud; a very poor substitute for our beloved pastor.”

“Those are exactly my views upon that subject,” responded Long.

“My opinion is that the probability of the restoration of Popery in this country was never so strong as now, and unless something be done to interpose, it will become more probable still.”

“Just so, Mr. Oates. My opinion is precisely the same as yours upon that point. We agree exactly.”

“I think Mr. Gladstone’s pamphlet on the Vatican Decrees is likely to produce a reactionary effect upon the patronage of the Romanists in his future support as the Liberal leader.”

“That is what I think too, Mr. Oakes. It is very likely, as you say, to be so. Your mind and mine agree upon that particular also.”

“I have a strong impression that the Public Worship Act will have little effect in arresting the progress of Ritualism, because of the apathy of the Bishops.”

“That is just my impression, Mr. Oakes.”

“Do you not think, Mr. Long, that the scepticism of the age is very subtle, powerful, and dangerous?”

“Yes, truly, Mr. Oakes, I do indeed think that the scepticism of the age is all you say it is.”

“I did not say it was so; you mistook my question for a statement, Mr. Long.”

With some little tremor, as though he had given offence, Mr. Long said, “Oh dear no; you did not say so: I have made a mistake; do pardon me, Mr. Oakes.”

“That notion of George Eliot, taught in the following lines, is full of atheistic teaching, and likely to be mischievous in its influence. Speaking of his wish to have an immortality, his notion of it is only that of living in the minds of others in subsequent ages: —

‘O may I join the choir invisibleOf those immortal dead, who live againIn minds made better by their presence:So to live is heaven.’

His notion of a heaven, you see, is limited to a life of immortality among the dead, who live in others made better by them – a posthumous influence for good is his only heaven.”

“Yes, I see, Mr. Oakes,” answered Long. “Just so: I believe all you say. You have expressed what I think about the atheistic theory of George Eliot.”

It was in this way that Mr. Long assented to Mr. Oakes in everything he said. They separated, and each went on his way. As Mr. Long walked down the street, who should meet him but Mr. Stearns? and he began his conversation somewhat in the same order as Mr. Oakes, only he happened to take in almost every particular an opposite view. But this was of no consequence to Mr. Long. Both Mr. Oakes and Mr. Stearns were his intimate friends, though not friends of each other, and he did not wish to disagree with either, so he assented to everything Stearns said with as much readiness and affability as he did to what Oakes said.

The above is a brief specimen of the assenter in conversation. His fault shows itself to every observer; and if it is not a moral fault, it certainly is an intellectual one. Every man in conversation ought to have a mind of his own for free and independent thought; and while he does not dogmatically and doggedly bring it into contact with others, he should avoid making it the tool of another man’s. He should not throw it, as clay, into everybody’s mental mould which comes in his way, to receive any shape which may be given to it. This is softness which a healthful state of any mind does not justify – which the natural intellectual rights of man condemn. It is a pliability of mind which no honourable man requires in conversation, and which he does not approve. It is mental stultification. It confines the action of mind to one party, and limits the circle of conversation to the compass which that mind pleases to give it. The proper contact of mind in conversation is mutual stimulus to action. Friction produces fire, and when there are wise hands to supply suitable material on both sides, a genial glowing heat is the result, which thaws out the frigidness that otherwise might exist. Each one warms himself at the other’s fire; all who listen feel the influence, and lasting are the benefits which flow from such conversation.

XXII.

THE LIAR

“A false witness shall not be unpunished; and he that speaketh lies shall not escape.”

– Solomon.

This is a talker who voluntarily speaks untruth with an intention to deceive. He is a painter, giving to subjects colours and views that he knows are false to the original, but which he means to be understood as true by the spectators. He is a dramatist, making representations which do not belong to the characters in the drama, and thereby imposing upon the credulity of the beholders. He is a legerdemain, showing black to be white, and white to be black, and red to be no colour – a factor, producing works which he vends as real, when he knows them to be shams – a witness, bearing testimony to things which have no existence – a tradesman, carrying on business in a fictitious name and with an imaginary capital.

This talker may be met with in a variety of aspects and relations: in the shop, telling his customer that his goods are the best in town, and cheapest in price, when he knows that they are far from being either one or the other; in the market, declaring that the fruit is fresh gathered and fish just arrived, when he knows that both are on the eve of decay and rottenness from long keeping; in the manufactory, stating that the article is pure and unadulterated, when he knows that one half or three parts are impure and corrupt. “You shall have it at cost price,” when perhaps the price is ten or twenty per cent. above it. “Selling at twenty-five below cost,” when the proprietor knows he will make a large profit. “They are salvage goods,” or they are “damaged goods from a great fire in Manchester or Edinburgh,” when they are old things which have been damaged in the owner’s own warehouse or cellar. “William, if Mr. Cash calls to inquire if I am at home, tell him I am gone out for the day,” said Mr. Brush to his servant, while he was the whole day engaged in some pet diversion in the bagatelle-room. “You shall most certainly have your new coat by Thursday evening,” says the tailor to Mr. Shaw, upon which promise he makes a special engagement to meet company. Thursday evening comes, and Mr. Shaw finds the promise unfulfilled by the tailor, who knew at the time he should not do as he said. “O, yes, I will meet you at four o’clock on Monday at Mr. Nuncio’s,” when he knew that he was purposing to go in quite an opposite direction at that very hour. “I certainly cannot pay your bill to-day: call on Friday, and I will pay you,” when he knows he has the money on hand, and that when you call on Friday he will not pay you.

There are yet three more aspects in which this talker appears before society – as jocular, as officious, as pernicious. As Jocular, he talks with a view to amuse and create merriment by telling stories of his own invention, or what he has heard others repeat, and which he knows not to be true. As Officious, he talks with a view, as he says, to benefit others. He may do it as a parent to benefit his children; or as a husband to benefit his wife; or as an officer in Church or State to benefit those who are subject to him. He thinks the end justifies the means, and he can do evil that good may come. But this is an egregious mistake; for the Divine injunction is that we must not do evil that good may come. “And therefore,” says Bishop Hopkins, “although thine own life or thy neighbour’s depends upon it; yea, put the case it were not only to save his life, but to save his soul, couldest thou by this means most eminently advance the glory of God, or the general good and welfare of the Church, yet thou oughtest not to tell the least lie to promote these great and blessed ends.” As Pernicious, he talks things that are false with a view to injure his neighbour, or any one towards whom he has an evil feeling. It is immaterial to him what the invention is, so that it will answer his malicious design. He can create rumours by wholesale, and dispense them to all who will degrade themselves by accepting them. Aspersions, detractions, slanders, defamations, and calumnies he can conjure in his mind and pour out of his lips without the shadow of a justification. And as there are always persons with ready minds to receive whatever is said to the injury of others, and to circulate it as truth, the liar often succeeds in the accomplishment of his evil purpose. I will give briefly the traits of his character.

1. He is a child of the devil.– “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it” (John viii. 44). The liar, then, is a legitimate son of this lying father. He speaks as he is inspired by that black spirit of perdition. “Thou never liest,” says Bishop Hopkins, “but thou speakest aloud what the devil whispered softly to thee; the Old Serpent lies folded round in thy heart, and we may hear him hissing in thy voice. And therefore, when God summoned all His heavenly attendants about Him, and demanded who would persuade Ahab to go up and fall at Ramoth-Gilead, an evil spirit that had crowded in amongst them steps forth and undertakes the office as his most natural employment, and that wherein he most of all delighted. ‘I will go forth and be a lying spirit in the mouth of all his prophets’ (I Kings xxii. 22). Every lie thou tellest, consider that the devil sits upon thy tongue, breathes falsehood into thy heart, and forms thy words and accents into deceit.”

2. He acts contrary to the Divine mind and nature.– God is truth and in Him is no falsehood at all. What He hath said He will do; what He hath promised He will fulfil. All His thoughts are according to the perfect reality of things; and all His words are in exact accord with His thoughts. Hence the sin of lying is contrary to His very nature, and an abomination in His sight. “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among his brethren” (Prov. vi. 16-19). “Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are His delight” (Prov. xii. 22).

3. He gives indubitable evidence of a depraved nature.– He is the opposite in nature to a child of “our Father which is in heaven.” “Surely,” says the Lord of His children, “they are My people; children that will not lie: so He became their Saviour” (Isa. lxiii. 8). On the contrary, it is affirmed of the wicked that they “are estranged from the womb; they go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies” (Ps. lviii. 3). Again it is said, “Thy tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. Thou lovest evil more than good, and lying rather than to speak righteousness” (Ps. lii. 2, 3). The wicked “delight in lies; they bless with their mouth, but they curse inwardly” (Ps. lxii. 4). Again it is said, “Behold, he travaileth with iniquity, and hath conceived mischief, and brought forth falsehood” (Ps. vii. 14). Jeremiah’s description of his people answers to the character of the liar in our day. “They bend their tongues like their bow for lies; but they are not valiant for the truth upon the earth, for they proceed from evil to evil, and they know not Me, saith the Lord.” “They will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth; they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity” (Jer. ix. 3, 5).

4. He is generally a coward in respect to men, and a contemner of God.– “To say a man lieth,” says Montaigne, “is to say that he is audacious towards God, and a coward towards men.” “Whosoever lies,” observes Hopkins, “doth it out of a base and sordid fear lest some evil and inconvenience should come unto him by declaring the truth.” “A liar,” remarks Bacon, “is brave towards God and a coward towards man. For a lie faces God, and shrinks from man.” “The meanness of lying,” says Gilpin, “arises from the cowardice which it implies. We dare not boldly and nobly speak the truth, but have recourse to low subterfuges, which always show a sordid and disingenuous mind. Hence it is that in the fashionable world the word liar is always considered as a term of peculiar reproach.”