Saying 'Yes!' to the Boss

Just the thought made her break out in goose bumps. As she rubbed her bare arms she realized that the light was fading in Dev’s eyes. It was replaced by something that looked like concern…or worse…second thoughts.

He was going to apologize, she thought desperately. No. She couldn’t stand that. The kiss had been too good.

“I’m starved,” she said with a bright smile. “It’s nearly noon. Do you have time to grab lunch before you head back to work?”

He blinked at the change of topic. For a second she thought he was going to push forward and insist on discussing the kiss, but then he smiled.

“Sure. What are you in the mood for?”

A week later, Noelle sat in Dev’s study and pretended to review her calculus homework. He’d brought home a few reports he’d needed to look at before morning, so she’d joined him on the pretext of finishing up her homework.

In truth, she’d already finished, but she’d wanted to hang out with him and couldn’t think of another excuse. Something had changed between them, at least for her, and she was still trying to figure out what it was.

She could pinpoint the exact date everything had shifted—it had been the afternoon of her first doctor’s appointment. Sometimes she thought it was because he’d kissed her in a way she’d never been kissed before. Not that the style was all that different—it was more her own reaction that was keeping her up nights. Other times she told herself that while the kiss was nice, it didn’t mean all that much. The real bonding had occurred over their shared revelation that they were really having a baby together. That this situation was about more than logistics and details—that there would be another life involved.

They’d laughed together, panicked together and had found comfort in sharing the experience.

Whatever the cause, Dev was no longer just Jimmy’s older brother, the man who was being kind to her in desperate circumstances. He was his own person. Someone she liked and respected. Someone who could make her toes curl with a smile.

She had several dilemmas, she thought as she glanced up at him from her corner of his leather sofa. Had anything changed for him? Did he see her as only a problem to be solved, or was she a real person? She thought he liked her well enough, but she wanted more than that. She wanted him to find her sexy and attractive and exciting.

She sighed. She could rate attractive easily enough on a good day, but sexy and exciting weren’t words usually used around her.

There was also the age difference. She knew he was aware of it. So did he find her too young? She thought she was doing a good job of holding her own with him, but that was just from her perspective. So what did he think?

Her mother had always told her it was much better to ask than wonder, that being straightforward was the best way to make a relationship work. The advice seemed sound, but the thought of putting it into practice terrified her. Wishing and dreaming were totally safe. Acting was something else entirely.

What if he completely rejected her? What if he thought she was stupid? What if he laughed at her?

Dev looked up and caught her staring at him. He raised his dark eyebrows. “What?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“It’s something. You were scowling.”

She grinned. “I do not scowl. It’s not ladylike and I was brought up to be a lady.”

“Fine. You were pensive. Want to tell me why?”

She bit down on her lower lip and wondered if she had the courage to be honest. Or at least semihonest. “I was wondering about the other women in your life.”

The eyebrows went a little higher and he leaned back in his chair. “I take it the calculus homework isn’t challenging enough to keep your brain occupied.”

“Not tonight.”

“And the most interesting topic you could come up with was the women in my life?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You need to get out more.”

She laughed. “Come on, Dev. We’re married. You can tell me.”

“One might think telling one’s wife was exactly the wrong thing to do. Besides, there aren’t any other women. I told you I would be faithful.”

A fact she was appreciating more and more. “I didn’t mean now,” she told him. “I meant before. There was only one serious relationship in my life and you know all about him. I think it’s only fair to share information.”

“Of course you do.” He frowned. “I knew Jimmy was your first time, but do you also consider him your first serious relationship?”

She thought about the question. “I think so. There were guys I liked and dated. I actually went out a lot in high school. But I never really fell in love. I think a lot of it was the guys I dated knew my dad and were concerned about doing the wrong thing. I was always aware of being the preacher’s daughter, as well. So I would kind of hold back and I think the guys did, too. So I guess that makes Jimmy my first serious relationship.”

And she hadn’t even been in love with him, she thought sadly. What did that say about her decisionmaking skills?

“How did you and Jimmy meet?” Dev asked.

“He was visiting work for some reason. I was in the lunch room and he walked in. We just started talking.” She thought about that first day. Jimmy had been good-looking, funny and, in some ways, more grown-up than the guys she was used to. “He didn’t know anything about me, which I liked. He asked me out and I said yes.”

Dev nodded slowly. “Jimmy always was a charmer with the ladies.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You’re saying I was one of many.”

“As far as I know, you’re the only one he talked about marrying.”

She nodded, as if the statement had significance. She wanted to believe it was true but…“Dev, is it possible he just said that to get me to sleep with him?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been wondering. Jimmy was a great guy, but until he decided to go into the military, he seemed scattered. He had a million ideas about what he wanted to do, but none of them made sense. He wasn’t a doer, really.” She paused. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk about him this way with you.”

“It’s fine. I’m aware of Jimmy’s faults.” He picked up a pen, then put it back on his desk. “You’re right. He was a dreamer.”

She noticed he didn’t answer her question—as to whether it was possible that Jimmy had just said he wanted to marry her to get her into bed. If he’d believed Jimmy really cared, he would have said so. Was he trying to protect his brother’s reputation or her?

Knowing Dev as she did, she thought it might be both. Maybe she should just go with that and not try to second guess the past. There was no way of knowing now.

“You never told me about the other women in your life, although changing the subject to Jimmy was a neat trick.”

“You like that? I could do it again.” He shifted in his seat. “What do you want to know? There’s nothing much to tell. I was a single guy who dated.”

“There’s more to it than that,” she said. “They were all beautiful.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I saw a couple myself and Katherine told me.”

He groaned. “Great. My own staff turns on me.”

“We consider your personal life a hobby. You should be flattered.”

“Amazingly, I’m not.” He looked at her. “What else did she say?”

Noelle pretended to study her nails. “Nothing really. But we found it fascinating that you always chose exotic beauties. No milkmaids for you.”

He laughed. “Milkmaids?”

“You know—traditional looking. Blond hair, blue eyes.”

“Like you.”

She shrugged. “I could fall into the milkmaid category.”

“So you’d believe me if I told you that I thought you were beautiful, but you’d draw the line at exotic?”

He thought she was beautiful? Noelle wanted to stand up and cheer. Except he hadn’t said that, exactly. There’d been an “if” in that sentence.

“I’m no one’s definition of exotic,” she said. “I can live with that. So about these women.”

He closed his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re seriously interested in them. So why don’t you ask what you really want to know?”

Hmmm, there was a concept. She drew in a breath, squared her shoulders and blurted out, “What do you know that Jimmy didn’t? About sex, I mean.”

Dev had braced himself, but even so, the question caught him like a shot. He felt emotionally flung back in his seat and left for dead. Couldn’t she have just asked to buy new bedroom furniture?

He swore silently. This was not a conversation they should be having. He had an entire list of reasons as to why not. The most pressing was that he’d spent the last week doing his damnedest to avoid any remotely personal contact with Noelle. He’d been interested before, but kissing her had shown him there were plenty of possibilities and now they were driving him crazy.

He wanted her. He’d wanted other women before and kept trying to tell himself this was an itch that would fade with time. But whenever he got the need under control, he found himself catching sight of the curve of her cheek or the back of her thighs as she pranced around the house in shorts.

Worse, sometimes she got him by just talking. She would spout an opinion on some world event that surprised him, not only with her view, but with the facts she had to back it up. He’d caught her reading a science magazine two days after she’d admitting to having a weakness for celebrity gossip tabloids. How was he not supposed to adore that?

“You’re stalling,” she said.

“I’m considering my options.”

“Why is the question so difficult? It’s just information.”

He shook his head. “It’s more than that and you know it.” What to say? “What I know that Jimmy didn’t isn’t important. Just a few details.”

“Life is in the details,” she told him. “What are you afraid of?”

Going where he shouldn’t, he thought grimly. Wanting too much.

She glanced at the carpet, then back at him. “Dev, we’re married and we plan on staying married for the next two years. That’s kind of a long time. I know you had a…physical relationship with the other women in your life. It’s a natural part of life. While I appreciate your promise to be faithful for the time we’re married, I think you’re setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary suffering.”

She raised her head and gazed directly at him. “I like to think we’re becoming friends, which is an odd thing to say, considering the fact that we’re married, but this is an odd situation. I don’t want you to break your promise to be faithful and I don’t want you to do without. I’m willing to be your wife in that way, too.”

He heard the words, but he couldn’t believe them. She was supposed to be the innocent in all this—how the hell had she figured it all out?

“A generous offer, but not one you need to make,” he said gruffly.

“Really?” She smiled. “So you’re just going to ignore that part of your life? It’s not like the need goes away. My parents have been married more than twenty years and they’re still hot for each other.” Her smile turned into a grin. “When I was a teenager, I was so uncomfortable, knowing they did that. I mean, they’re parents. But now I see their intimacy as a really good thing. It helps keep the relationship strong.”

He had no idea what to say to her.

Noelle pulled her knees to her chest. “I’ll admit my lone experience wasn’t anything I’d want to repeat, but you said it could be better and I trust you. So if you’re interested, I’m willing.”

There were two spots of color on her face, but oth erwise she seemed completely calm and in control. Amazing, he thought, still stunned at her courage and honesty.

“Unless you don’t want me,” she added, as she ducked her head.

Not want her? “Noelle, don’t go there,” he told her. “Wanting has nothing to do with it.”

“Then it’s because I’m pregnant. Does that gross you out?”

That made him smile. Nothing about her “grossed him out.” She only had to be breathing for him to want her. “You being pregnant isn’t an issue.” He felt uncomfortable and wasn’t sure why. A beautiful woman was offering herself to him. Shouldn’t that be a good thing?

It was, except he wasn’t sure it was right for her. She’d only been with one of guy and he’d been Dev’s brother. The situation was twisted in ways he couldn’t describe.

There was also his concern about what would happen after. If they did become lovers. The women he let into his life understood the rules—no permanent entanglements. Despite the two-year contract they had, he wasn’t sure Noelle could be his lover and walk away.

She stood. “I can see you’re not ready. That’s fine. I’ll wait. But the offer remains open.”

Then she walked out.

He was left with an aching need and no clue as to what to say. What the hell was wrong with this picture? What was he supposed to do now? Go after her? Pretend they’d never had this conversation? He’d been left hanging in the wind by a twenty-year-old innocent.

If this had happened to anyone else, he would think it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.