Degree of Risk

She put her pen aside and opened the bottle of water. The sides of the bottle were wet and beaded and felt good against her fingertips. As she drank, Sarah felt her stomach beginning to settle down and she placed the bottle on the table. “Did I tell you yet that I love you? And I’ve missed you terribly today?”

His hunterlike eyes narrowed upon her, which made her heart quicken. His chiseled mouth, a mouth she would never tire of kissing, drew into a one-cornered grin. Ethan was six feet tall, lean and ripped. The cammies he wore hid his magnificent body from the world, but Sarah knew his body intimately. He lifted his hand and slid it across the table to squeeze her fingers.

“This is a very special hell we live in,” he told her wryly, reluctantly releasing her. They could not be caught showing affection to one another. That was just how the military worked. “I’m sitting here wishing we could be at Emma and Khalid Shaheen’s villa near Kabul. Be in our suite for the night.” His voice turned gritty. “And if we were, I’d undress you, take you to the shower with me and make you forget all about that mission.”

Just one look into those stormy gray eyes of his and her body reacted to him. She’d never met a man who could arouse such a need for sex like he could. There was a sensual, smoldering look in his eyes. Sarah smiled a little, picking up the pen.

“Makes two of us, but idealism and dreams aren’t a priority when we’re in combat.”

Grunting, Ethan sat back in his chair, simply watching Sarah’s gleaming black hair, the ends softly turning up around her shoulders. Her incredible blue eyes, the color of calved glaciers, never ceased to make his heart start to pound and his body tighten hotly with desire for her. “I’m an optimist. We’re going to have to find some way to get over to Bagram.”

Their schedules always conflicted, adding another layer of frustration on Ethan. Sarah’s lips parted as she looked over at him. She had the most incredible mouth. The upper lip was full, but the lower lip was slightly pouty. He felt raw heat crawling through his lower body like some kind of wild animal howling to be released. There wasn’t any part of her that didn’t turn him on. Some of the color was coming back to her face, her blue eyes no longer so cloudy.

“I’m all for it.” And then Sarah gave him a wicked look. “I’m really wanting you in my bed, Ethan. Getting to see you and the guys at the chow hall, or when I can make it over to SEAL HQ, just isn’t cutting it.”

Her cheeks flushed, a glint coming to her eyes. They spoke in soft tones, knowing the rooms had thin walls. Neither wanted anyone to overhear. “Angel, this table is looking damned good.”

Laughing quietly, Sarah returned to writing her report. “You wouldn’t.”

“You don’t challenge a SEAL. Not only do they live for a challenge, they’re going to win at it.” Ethan gave her a dark, heated look.

Sarah grinned. In the SEALs, it always paid to be a winner and every one of them was competitive by nature. “I know that, but tonight, it feels really good to tease you. It’s better than what was happening an hour ago.” The mission continued to recede in her memory. Ethan had the power to make the world of combat go away and she was more than grateful.

“Then you can tease this animal. I want to see you smile. I want to see that look in your eyes.”

The idea was provocative, Sarah had to admit. And she enjoyed challenging Ethan because he got feral and SEAL-like. To anyone but her, he looked hard and dangerous, the kind of man you would never think twice about tangling with. He had that look now, the alpha male wolf wanted his mate. Well, she wanted him, too.

Ethan had coaxed her femininity to life. She was learning to appreciate her body, the pleasures involved with it and sharing it all with him. Right now Sarah felt her womb clench with that silent lust-filled look he gave her. She could feel her breasts tightening, her nipples hardening beneath the flight suit she wore.

“Even talking about it is a turn on,” she griped unhappily. “I just wish there was some place to go on Bravo where we could...well...you know?”

Ethan nodded. “I know....”

Even though she was twenty-nine years old, Sarah had had few partners until he’d crashed into her life. Her traumatic childhood, being sexually abused by one of her foster fathers, had fractured her soul. Somehow, and Ethan still couldn’t explain it, he’d been able to lift those walls she hidden behind, gain her trust and watch his fierce love for Sarah open her up like a beautiful flower who was in the process of blooming. An intense respect for Sarah’s courage, for her bravery to confront her horrific past, made Ethan love her even more. And to be able to sit here and tease her about sex was just another petal of herself opening. Sarah trusted him with herself, her heart and her incredibly loving body. Ethan knew she was a gift to him in every possible way.

“Where did you go?” Sarah teased, looking up from her report.

“What?”

“You left, Ethan. Where’d you go? I can see it in your eyes.”

Sheepishly grinning, he said, “Just thinking of how damned sweet it would be to undress you, lay that flight suit of yours on the table, pick you up, put you on top of it and...”

She shook her head, writing some more. “Is that all you ever think about?”

Ethan gave her a smug look. “Like you weren’t thinking about it, too?”

“Well, not here!”

He chuckled. “Angel, making love to you anywhere would be nirvana.”

The gritty tone of his voice rifled through Sarah, made her forget the horrors of the mission. Ethan had that effect on her. No matter how bad her day or night went, he could pull her into his arms, and the sordid world went away. “I’m still exploring possibilities, Quinn. I’m not sure a table is...well...very appealing.”

“Trust me, you don’t know what you’re missing by not using a table.”

Sarah sighed. “I’m such a neophyte.”

“You’re innocent,” Ethan drawled good-naturedly, “but I’m enjoying showing you all the ways we can love one another.”

Sarah snorted and scowled. “I’m hardly innocent!”

Ethan grinned. “Innocence is not age determined. And there’s nothing wrong with being that way, Sarah. I like exploring you, showing you about your own, beautiful body, sharing all of that with you.” And the few times they had been able to be together, to love one another, Ethan would lie awake after they made love and as Sarah slept, simply watch her in his arms, her innocence so much a part of her.

Looking around the room, Sarah growled, “The way I feel right now, Ethan, even this table is starting to look good to me.” His eyes became stormy gray as if he were considering it. “The problem is...well...you know,” and she shook her head, backing off from her bold statement.

“Like I said,” he admitted, “we live in a very special hell of ‘look but don’t touch.’” Except when Emma or Khalid invited them to stay overnight at their villa. As a military couple, they understood what it was like to be in love and have no privacy. Ethan was grateful for their consideration toward him and Sarah.

Signing off on the report, Sarah muttered, “There. I’ll push this under Major Donaldson’s door and be done with it.” She took another drink of water and stood up.

Sarah loved looking at Ethan. There was a feeling of coiled tension around him, along with the lust burning in his eyes, for her alone. Sarah was still getting used to it all. “I need a shower,” she griped. The women’s showers were in the center of the camp, a small brick building.

“I’ll take you over and play guard dog,” Ethan said, standing. He walked over to the door and locked it. Turning around, he wrapped her in his arms.

“The least we’re getting out of this is a kiss,” he whispered against her lips, hauling her tightly against him. Moving his mouth softly across Sarah’s lips, he heard a delicious moan rise in her slender throat. Her luscious body, filled with curves and softness, melted against his harder angles. She tasted of clean water, her lips opening eagerly, her hands sliding around his neck, straining to get as close as she could to him.

Ethan’s nostrils flared as he inhaled her unique, womanly scent. It was sweet and drove him wild with hunger. The silk of her hair tickled his jaw as he brushed his mouth across her lips, welcoming Sarah home. Welcoming her back to him. He captured her face with his long, spare fingers and, as he eased from her mouth, saw her cheeks flush. Sarah’s drowsy blue eyes opened, and Ethan felt his soul melting into hers. Her breath was as shallow and uneven as his. He tunneled his fingers through her soft, silky black hair, watched her lashes fall closed beneath the massaging pleasure of his fingertips. The move exposed her slender neck and he leaned over, tasting her flesh, hearing those soft, pleasurable sounds vibrate in her throat, pressing her body more insistently against his. Sarah smelled good, tasted good.

Releasing her hair, Ethan caressed her lips, opening them, moving his tongue inside, needing to feel her heat, that fire he knew that smoldered so hotly within her. A desperate mewl came from her as he touched her tongue. He was in such trouble, deep trouble, if he didn’t stop now. Ethan was so damned hard, he ached.

He drew his mouth from hers, sliding his hand down her long, supple spine, caressing her hip, bringing her tight against him, to feel his erection. “Dammit,” he breathed roughly against her temple, kissing her, feeling her hair tickle his face, “I’d give my right arm to have somewhere to make love to you, Sarah.” Ethan knew she’d never consent to use that table. They were too exposed to someone walking in on them. He wasn’t ever going to put her into that position.

Sarah felt his frustration. “Let’s look at our schedules again.”

His large hand splayed out across her hips, his hardness pressing deep into her belly, making her contract. Her breathing was uneven as she felt his kisses from her temple to her cheek. This time Ethan’s mouth curved powerfully against hers, a man claiming his woman. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world to be loved. To finally belong to someone who cherished her as Ethan did.

Tearing his mouth from hers, his eyes glinting with raw lust, Ethan muttered, “You think your flight schedule’s changed since the last time we looked at it?”

Sarah managed a whispery laugh. “No, but maybe if we look at it long enough, it might magically change?”

How Ethan wished. Her CO, Major Donaldson, was giving Sarah fewer days off than the male pilots in her squadron. Not only that, he was assigning her more standby time. That meant she was on duty, had a helicopter at her disposal for anyone who needed it and her services during that twenty-four-hour cycle.

“Tell you what. I’m going to use a little SEAL magic and see if we can’t get a day off together.”

Sarah sighed and drowned in his narrowed gray eyes. “Uh-oh,” she whispered, a grin tugging at her mouth as she stepped out of his arms. “Winners win and losers lose.” It was another SEAL saying, and judging by the feral look on Ethan’s face, he wasn’t going to lose this one.

Chapter 2

Major Tom Donaldson sat in his squadron office at Ops, going over the flight reports from the pilots in his medevac squadron. When he looked up, he jerked his head, surprised. Master Chief Gil Hunter from the SEALs stood in the open doorway to his office. Scowling, he muttered, “The least you could do is announce yourself.” The son of a bitch.

“We never announce when we’re coming,” Hunter growled. He was dressed in SEAL cammies, a SIG Sauer pistol in a drop holster on his right thigh. He was six feet three inches in height and filled the small, cramped office. In his left hand, he carried a file.

Donaldson eyed him nervously. Ops was busy midafternoon. The helos were winding up outside, some Apache combat helos and some Chinooks. “What do you need?” he snapped, uneasy. The last time this SEAL pushed his weight around, it was because of that bitch, Sarah Benson. He’d never wanted her in his squadron because she was a risk taker, and he had a budget to keep. The Black Hawk she flew inevitably had bullet-hole damage or worse when she returned from a mission. She always cost him money.

Just because Benson was engaged to a SEAL, the master chief who ran the platoon had made it his business to lean on Donaldson. A month ago, the master chief had come to see him, closed the door and they’d had a little heart-to-heart chat. Donaldson knew Hunter was friends with Army Colonel Koch, his immediate superior. And Hunter told him to order his male pilots to stop harassing Benson. Or else. So, he ordered them to stop. But that didn’t mean Donaldson wasn’t going to get even with her.

Hunter turned and closed the door and then sat down in front of Donaldson’s desk. “I’m busy, dammit. What the hell do you want?” Donaldson saw the man’s green eyes glitter. Hunter reminded him of a wolf stalking his victim. Him.

“First,” Hunter murmured, keeping his voice pleasant, “I want to thank you for seeing that the harassment of Chief Warrant Officer Benson stopped.”

“Then why the hell are you here?”

“Just a little thing,” Hunter murmured. He handed the papers to Donaldson from the file he carried. “Something doesn’t make sense to me, Major, and I was hoping you could help me understand it.” He pointed to the August flight schedule for the medevac pilots. “Chief Benson is getting more flights and more standby duty than any other pilot.” Hunter looked up and held Donaldson’s startled gaze. “Is there a reason for this?”

Glaring at Hunter, Donaldson said, “I didn’t notice that.”

“I did.”

The silence thickened in the office. Donaldson ground his teeth, staring at the August schedule. Dammit! He’d done the scheduling on purpose. “It’s just a minor mistake,” he muttered defiantly, throwing the papers on his desk, leaning back in his chair, a smug look on his face.

“Then fix it.”

The growl in Hunter’s voice left nothing to translate. Donaldson stared at him.

“You’re not going to tell me how to schedule,” he snarled. Hunter shrugged in response. Damn him!

“It might be good to revise the last week of that August schedule, Major.” Hunter gestured lazily toward the papers on his desk. “I think Chief Benson deserves two days off. Don’t you? To somewhat balance out the unfairness of her schedule the previous three weeks?”

Nostrils flaring, breathing unevenly, Donaldson took in the iciness in the master chief’s expression. His voice was neutral, nonthreatening, but by God, he could see the rage burning in his eyes. Donaldson gripped the arms of his chair. “I don’t suppose you have the dates of those two days in mind?”

Hunter’s mouth crooked. “I think Wednesday and Thursday of next week would be just fine if it works for you?”

“Done,” Donaldson snapped. “Now get the hell out of my office!”

Hunter rose slowly, unwinding like a snake, his face hard and unreadable. “Thank you, Major.” He turned, opened the door and left as quietly as he’d come.

* * *

When Sarah didn’t have duty, she always stayed in the small room the SEALs had painted and set up for her. They’d found her a real bed to sleep in, not a cot. Even better, there was air conditioning. At her tent, she, like everyone else, bunked in the heat of the night, making for miserable sleeping conditions. As she sat up and rubbed her eyes, she noticed a white envelope beneath the door. A soft smile came to her face. Ethan had written her a poem! Her heart expanded with fierce love for him. When she’d first met him, there would be a card on the plywood floor, just inside the flaps of her tent.

Standing, she picked it up. Her heart suffused with love for Ethan’s thoughtfulness. All her life, she’d had nothing but heartbreak when it came to men. Now, with him walking into her life, she was discovering for the first time what it was like to fall in love and be loved in return.

Sitting on the bed, Sarah opened the envelope. The blue parchment nearly matched the color of her eyes. She opened it up, her heart beating with anticipation. Ethan was teaching her there were many ways to love her. His poems always touched her heart. Her soul.

Do your attentions transform other fossils, causing them to flower

And swell from the desert where they were imprisoned far too long

Under increasingly desperate isolations of deceptive skin

Covering the swollen bloats of emotions which trapped the murderous melancholy of joy

In the soul’s bone and rheumatism of a frayed and staid body?

I assure you that my love is committed and constant

Love you,

Ethan

P.S. Breakfast at chow hall? 0700?

Smiling sleepily, Sarah sighed, pressing the poem against her heart. How did she ever get so lucky as to meet Ethan? His poetry was so beautiful to her, lifting her out of the stench of combat and hurling her into a world of light, hope and happiness. Sarah stood and pulled open the dresser drawer, setting it with the other envelopes.

Looking at her watch, Sarah realized she’d be going back on the schedule at 0800. It was now 0600. Good. She had time to get over to the women’s showers, pull on a clean flight suit and, best of all, meet Ethan for breakfast. So often, he was out on patrol, so this was a treat in itself.

As Sarah left her room, her shower articles in a bag, Trace Fulton, one of the SEAL combat medics, called to her from down the hall. “Hey, Sarah?”

“Morning, Trace,” she murmured, turning and smiling at him. Trace was one of Ethan’s best friends.

“Hey, Master Chief Hunter said to tell you, if I saw you before you left for duty, that he wanted five minutes of your time.” Trace hooked his finger over his broad shoulder. “He’s over at the espresso machine.”

Sarah nodded, turning on her booted foot and heading down to the big room. “Sure, no problem.” Worry automatically inserted itself into her world when it came to Gil Hunter. He was the head honcho of this SEAL platoon, ran it smoothly and quietly, but she was always aware of the mantle of power the man wore. Something had to be wrong.

As Sarah walked toward him, he was just getting his morning espresso in his large ceramic mug. “Morning, Sarah,” Hunter greeted her.

“Morning, Master Chief.”

“Walk with me?” he asked, heading toward his office. Sarah felt small beside Hunter. He was tall and powerfully built. She followed him into his cramped office.

“Shut the door?” he asked as he sat down behind his desk. Sarah closed it and stood, waiting. “Have a seat,” Hunter invited, gesturing to one of the two chairs in front of his desk. “You look like you think I’m going to bite you.” He grinned a little.

Sarah smiled sheepishly and sat down, placing her towel, washcloth and soap in her lap. “I guess I’m gun-shy, Master Chief. No insult meant to you.”

Hunter grunted, leaning back in his black leather chair. “None taken,” he quietly assured her. He picked up the August flight schedule and handed it to her. “I noticed some discrepancies in Major Donaldson’s August schedule for you, Sarah.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “So did I.”

“Why didn’t you say something to me after you saw it?” Hunter asked softly.

“Well...er...you’re not my CO. You’re a SEAL. I’m in a medevac squadron.” Flustered, she could see a glint in Hunter’s green eyes. He was so stoically SEAL: you never knew what they were thinking unless they wanted you to.

“Mmm, rightly so,” Hunter murmured, moving his index finger across his upper lip. “You’re getting scheduled for flight twenty percent more often than the rest of the pilots each month. Seeing that, wouldn’t you take that discrepancy up with Major Donaldson?”

Coloring fiercely, Sarah couldn’t hold his warm gaze. Nervously, she picked at a thread on the towel in her lap. “I’m tired of fighting him, if you want the truth, Master Chief.”

“Look,” he murmured, keeping his voice neutral, “what he’s done isn’t correct. We both know that.”

Sarah shrugged. “Yes, I know that.” She lifted her chin and held his stare. “I love what I do, Master Chief. Maybe if I didn’t want to save lives so badly, I would have taken it up with him.”

“You live to save,” Hunter agreed, giving her a kind look. “One of the responsibilities I’m charged with as the master chief is the mental and emotional health of my men, Sarah. You’re engaged to Ethan. And so, by proxy, you become my responsibility, too. You’re a part of our team now, Sarah. And you know we have your back.”

“I know you do,” she said, suddenly emotional. “Frankly, I think you have enough to do without being concerned about me, too.”

“Well, I want to be involved, Sarah. You’re a gutsy pilot and you aren’t afraid to put yourself on the line to do it. In SEAL eyes, you rock,” he said, smiling.

The man couldn’t undo her past, erase the tragic memories of her younger life, but he was showing her that she could stand up for herself when injustices were done to her in the present. That was the job of a master chief, the health and welfare of the men under his wing. His support of her touched her deeply.

“I brought this infraction to the attention of your CO,” he told her in a casual tone.

Instantly, Sarah jerked up, her stomach cold with fear.

“And Major Donaldson agrees that it was simply an overlooked mistake.”

Sarah sat frozen, adrenaline leaking into her bloodstream. She knew the master chief was a man of action; that he did take care of his own. What had he done? And was Donaldson pissed off at her because of it? “Wh-what did you do?” The words came out a squeak from her, her hands gripping the toiletry items in her lap.

“Fixed it,” Hunter said simply. “And don’t worry, the major isn’t going to blame you for this. Okay?”

But the terror she felt was real. Sarah had reason to worry, having been under Donaldson’s command for two years. She knew he didn’t like her and took every opportunity to try to drive her out of his squadron. There were a lot of ways for a CO to do that, too.

Wiping her brow, Sarah whispered, “Okay, if you say so.”

“Have some faith in men who respect you, Sarah.”

Her mouth quirked, feeling the weight of his words. “You’re right, Master Chief. I need to stand up for myself more and stop rolling over.”

Hunter nodded. “Donaldson is giving you two days off to make up for the August scheduling error. And,” he murmured, a slight smile edging his mouth, “Ethan just happens to be ordered down to Bagram to pick up some pallet supplies for us on those two days.”

Sarah gulped. Her heart started to flutter with excitement in her chest. Two days with Ethan! She was sure that Emma and Khalid would allow them to stay at their villa. Tears came to her eyes; the master chief’s face was very readable. He had done this for them. She felt suddenly overwhelmed and wiped the tears from her eyes. She knew she shouldn’t be crying, but she was deeply moved by Hunter’s kindness.

“Th-thank you, Master Chief. This is an incredible gift to us.” Her husky voice turned low with raw feelings. “You have no idea how much this means to us....”

Gil smiled a little. “I think I do, Sarah. Go get your shower. Ethan is meeting you at the chow hall at 0700. He wants to share this good news with you.” Sarah stood and so did he. As he walked around his desk, she set her shower items on the chair, turned and threw her arms around his broad shoulders, giving him a quick hug. It wasn’t military protocol in the least, but she didn’t care. Hunter patted her shoulder in a fatherly fashion. “You’re welcome,” he told her gruffly, no doubt touched by her vulnerability, the tears in her eyes. “Now, take off?”

Embarrassed, Sarah nodded. “Yes, Master Chief.”

Gil Hunter stood in the doorway of his office after she’d left. Rubbing his bearded jaw, he smiled to himself. He could see why Ethan was so damned in love with her. Sarah was like fragile sunlight piercing a man’s heart, gently touching his soul. He was glad Ethan had found her. Sarah was blooming beneath his care and love. And wasn’t that what real love was all about? Two people bringing out the best in one another?