Love Heart Lane

‘Mum, I’m so sorry.’ Felicity was heartbroken and surprised to discover how hard things had become for her mum.

‘It’s not your fault, you have your own life, and your grandmother wouldn’t have wanted you to come home just for her.’

Felicity knew her life hadn’t been all that in the past year. She could have come home at any time to help and felt disappointed in herself that she hadn’t supported her mother more.

‘And the boiler, is that fixed? It does seem awfully cold in the cottage.’

Rona regretfully shook her head, ‘Unfortunately, with the teashop being shut I’ve lost my income and just didn’t have the money to get it fixed. Any savings I had, I used them to get by … to live on for the last eight months.’

Felicity stared at her mum. She couldn’t believe for all this time she had been struggling by herself. ‘How are you heating the water?’

‘With the kettle. I’ve been boiling the water on the Aga to have a wash. It’s going to be all right,’ Rona quickly added with a wan smile.

Felicity’s eyes widened; she couldn’t believe her mum was living like this. Twelve months ago, this cottage had been spick and span, everything gleamed, and the teashop had been packed to the brim with customers, and now everything had changed in such a short space of time.

‘Why didn’t you ask for help, surely Drew would have taken a look at the boiler for you?’

‘I don’t like to bother people and anyway he’s got enough on his plate with the new baby on the way.’

‘Mum, you wouldn’t be bothering them. They’d be upset knowing you’ve been living like this; they would never ever see you in a pickle and without a proper source of heat, especially in the winter months.’

Rona sipped her drink. She was a proud, strong, independent woman and had always been in control, but things had begun to slip when Bonnie had become ill.

‘There’s also Rory – and even Fergus wouldn’t see you struggling surely.’

Now it was Rona’s turn to stare at her daughter. ‘That’s the first time I’ve heard you mention his name in a long time,’ she said in astonishment.

Felicity had avoided saying Fergus’s name out loud for years; the memories were too painful, and she thought if she pretended he didn’t exist it would all go away, but of course it was never going to go away. It was always going to be there.

Felicity exhaled. ‘I’ve seen him.’

Taking Rona by surprise she sat up straight. ‘You’ve seen Fergus? When? Where?’

‘Today, up at the farm. One of Drew’s Shetlands was stranded in the river. Fergus went in after it and Drew and I helped to rescue them.’

‘In this weather? He’d catch his death.’

‘He nearly did.’ The pang of worry was still firmly in the pit of her stomach.

‘How is he?’

‘He’s okay now,’ answered Felicity, thinking of a cold Fergus shivering out of control.

‘And how did that go down … seeing you?’

Felicity sighed. ‘Difficult, he wasn’t over the moon to see me, which of course is understandable.’

‘Did you talk?’

Felicity shook her head. ‘Not really, it wasn’t the time or the place, but I will. And anyway—’ she attempted to change the subject ‘—what are we going to do about this boiler? We can’t go on boiling kettles on the Aga.’

Rona sighed. ‘There’s a quote on the dresser, but it’s over a thousand pounds for a new one.’

Felicity stood up and wandered over to the stack of papers piled up and stared down at the quote. ‘Mum, let me help. I can pay this.’

‘That’s very kind of you but…’

‘But nothing, I insist. I’ve a little saved up with all the extra work over Christmas and there’s no way I’m going back to London leaving you here with no hot water or heat.’ Felicity flicked a glance towards the living-room clock – it was now past five o’clock. ‘I’ll give them a ring first thing in the morning.’

Rona blinked back her tears and her face brightened. ‘Thank you.’

‘You don’t need to thank me and please talk to me in the future. Let me know if you need help.’

Rona nodded. ‘I will, I promise.’ She got to her feet and enveloped her daughter in a hug. ‘It’s good to have you home, even if it’s only for a little while.’

Felicity felt the love and warmth from her mother as she wrapped her arms tightly around her. She made a promise to herself there and then that she would come home more and ring as often as possible.

‘What time do we need to be at the pub?’ asked Felicity, releasing herself from her mother’s arms and suddenly feeling ravenous.

‘Anytime now,’ answered Rona, looking towards the window. The snow was still coming down thick and fast. ‘Everyone will be there, you know.’ Rona held her daughter’s gaze and Felicity nodded her understanding.

‘Might as well get it over with.’

‘How are you feeling?’

‘A little apprehensive. I know it sounds daft but maybe a little scared of seeing Allie again … I caught up with Isla this afternoon, she was lovely to me. It was like I’d never been away. But I’m not sure how Allie is going to react. She took it badly when I left … and she’s not as forgiving as Isla.’

‘And there’s Aggie too.’ Rona cocked an eyebrow.

Every time Felicity had come back to the village for a brief visit she’d tried not to think about bumping into Aggie but she knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later and it was something she wasn’t looking forward to.

Aggie Campbell was Fergus’s mother, and he lived with her in Fox Hollow Cottage, just at the bottom of Love Heart Lane. Aggie was without a doubt a kind woman, but she had strong opinions, especially when it came to her only son whom she doted on.

‘I know.’

‘And it’s more than likely Fergus will be there. If he’s okay after today.’

Every time Felicity thought of Fergus she felt a tremor of emotion that she couldn’t quite place. She closed her eyes for a split second, the image of him and his soft smile firmly on her mind. If she closed her eyes tight enough she could still feel his strong arms around her and his woody, manly smell as she snuggled into his chest all those years ago. There was a time she’d thought Fergus would always be by her side, every step of the way, growing old together – but she’d messed that up. She gave herself a little shake. All that was in the past. She needed to accept that.

‘It will be okay, you know. I’m sure there will be a time when you can be civil together.’

Felicity really hoped so. She’d never admitted it to anyone before but there were times when she suffered bouts of depression, wondering what her life would have been like if she’d stayed in Heartcross. Would she and Fergus still be together? Would they have gotten over the heartache? Would she have been enough for him? She would never know the answers to those questions. In fact, she’d cried a lot in London, pretending to be perfectly happy, creating a new existence that was basically a pretence.

Of course there had been good times but once the initial excitement and adventure had worn off she’d wanted to go back home on numerous occasions. However, her pride had always stopped her. She’d suffered for her actions and seeing the look Fergus had given her today, it was clear he’d suffered too. She knew him from old and he was still hurting. Over time, Felicity had learnt to block out her deep sadness, but seeing Fergus again, she knew the feelings she’d once had for him were still very much there.

Chapter 5

After stamping her snowy boots on the mat outside, Felicity’s nervousness peaked the second she walked through the door of The Grouse and Haggis, the pub owned by Meredith and Fraser, Allie’s parents. This was the first time she’d stepped inside the pub for a very long time but it was exactly how she remembered it. The oak beams ran right across the low ceiling, the private alcoves were still plumped with bright-coloured cushions and the log fire roared.

Huge aluminium pots of chilli and baskets of crusty bread lay on a long trestle table stretched out at the side of the bar ready to feed the hungry villagers.

‘How’re you feeling?’ Rona whispered under her breath.

‘Nervous,’ mumbled Felicity locking eyes with Meredith who was serving Heather the postmistress with a drink.

Immediately, Meredith hitched a smile on her face and scuttled around the bar with her arms flung open wide, hugging Felicity like she was a long lost relative. ‘Felicity … Felicity, my dear girl, it’s great to have you home. It’s been too long.’ If anyone hadn’t spotted Felicity walking into the pub, they certainly knew of her arrival now – she felt like the whole pub was looking her way. Felicity was very fond of Meredith and Fraser; in fact, they used to call her their second daughter. As children, Felicity and Allie had been inseparable and even through their teenage years they had been as thick as thieves.

Felicity pulled gently away from Meredith’s hug to find Fraser now standing next to his wife. ‘Welcome home, Felicity, let me get you a drink. What would you like?’ he asked.

‘Thanks Fraser, a gin and tonic please, and for you, Mum?’ Felicity turned towards her mum.

Meredith touched Rona’s arm. ‘The usual?’ She smiled and Rona simply nodded.

‘Wait until Allie sees you, she’s just collecting the wood from the shed to keep these fires going. She’ll be back in in a minute.’

Felicity felt a little uneasy watching Meredith and Fraser disappear back behind the bar. Meredith seemed unaware of the possible friction between Allie and herself or maybe she’d just forgotten over time.

‘Why don’t you go out the back and catch up with her?’ Meredith suggested, passing the drinks over the bar.

Felicity hesitated and looked towards her mum. She’d no clue how Allie was going to react to her homecoming but she knew she was going to have to face her at some point. Maybe it would be better to slip out the back to see Allie for the first time without a group of lookers watching their every move. ‘Are you going to be okay?’ Felicity asked her mum.

‘Why wouldn’t I be okay? I’ve been drinking in this pub on my own for as long as I can remember,’ she said, with a small chuckle. ‘You go and see Allie, see how the land lies … try and put things right.’

Fraser nodded towards the oak door at the far end of the pub. ‘You know the way.’

Feeling apprehensive, Felicity clutched her drink and weaved her way through the villagers. The pub was full to the brim and despite the bad snowfall everyone seemed in good spirits. Felicity spotted Hamish from the village shop who tilted his flat cap and gave her a wave, and then she noticed Rory slipping in through the side door. As soon as he spotted her he stopped dead in his tracks. ‘Hey, Flick!’ He flashed her a grin. ‘You’re home! Welcome back.’

Rory hadn’t changed a bit. He was slim, clean shaven and his dark hair with a hint of auburn was still styled in the same way. His pale blue eyes glinted back at her.

‘I am indeed! How are you?’

‘Me … I’m good, same old, same old … working hard as usual. I’m sorry to hear about Bonnie.’ He quickly gave his condolences before carrying on, telling Felicity that all was good in the land of animals except for the snowy weather that was forecast for the next few days.

‘Have you seen Allie yet?’ he asked.

‘I’m just going through to the back now,’ Felicity answered, feeling her heart thump a little faster.

Rory must have noticed the uneasy look on Felicity’s face. ‘Don’t worry … we both know her bark’s worse than her bite. She’s actually missed you, you know.’

‘How would you know?’ Felicity narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Because we’ve talked about it … and she still talks about you a lot.’

‘We?’

Rory gave Felicity a grin.

‘You and Allie are together?’

He nodded. ‘Yes, just under twelve months now.’

Elated by the thought of them being together, Felicity couldn’t help but give Rory a quick hug. As teenagers, Felicity had teased Allie that they would make the perfect couple, but Rory had gone off to university while Allie had stayed in Heartcross working alongside her parents in the pub.

‘I always said you were made for each other.’ She grinned.

‘You did, that.’ Rory touched Felicity’s arm tentatively before spotting his parents at the bar.

Taking a deep breath, Felicity turned the wrought iron ring of the pub’s oak back door and stooped her head under the low frame, stepping down the stone steps into the pub’s living quarters. She could hear footsteps from the backyard and spotted Allie lugging wood in from the shed, placing the logs in large wicker baskets. The last time she’d seen Allie was the night she’d left Heartcross. Felicity truly regretted cutting out everyone from her life, but it had been the only way she could cope at the time. Standing there, she suddenly yearned for her old friendship. A friendship that had stood the test of time until she’d taken herself off to London.

Felicity took a deep breath before speaking. ‘Hey,’ she said softly, causing Allie to jump and spin round. ‘I didn’t mean to startle you.’

For a brief moment, Allie just stared at her which left Felicity unsure of what to say next.

‘You okay?’ added Felicity quickly.

‘I didn’t expect to see you … it’s been a while,’ Allie answered as she carried on throwing logs in to the basket and looked away.

Felicity walked towards her and leant against the door frame.

‘I’m back to see Mum after Grandma…’ Felicity’s voice faltered.

‘I’m sorry about Bonnie, we all are. Everyone really misses her.’ Allie’s tone was sincere and she softened for a moment.

‘Thanks, it’s a difficult time, especially for Mum.’

Feeling emotional, tears welled up in Felicity’s eyes and there was a distinctive wobble in her voice. They both stared at each other for a moment in an awkward silence.

Felicity was hoping that Allie would step forward with her arms open wide, but it wasn’t forthcoming. She knew she’d treated her friend appallingly in the past but she hadn’t been thinking about anyone else when she’d left Heartcross. Only about protecting herself.

‘Allie…’ Felicity took a breath. ‘I’m—’

‘Let’s not do this now,’ Allie interrupted. ‘There’s a pub full of hungry people, and I really need to help Mum behind the bar.’

Felicity nodded. ‘Soon?’

‘Soon.’

Allie carried one of the baskets of logs and Felicity grabbed the other before following Allie back through the oak door and into the pub. ‘Rory just told me you’re together. I always said you were a match made in heaven,’ said Felicity, trying to lighten the mood and make conversation.

Allie hitched a small smile on her face but didn’t say a word. Felicity could still feel a frosty tension between them. Allie wasn’t as forgiving as Isla.

‘You do make the perfect couple,’ Felicity continued.

They placed the wicker baskets on each side of the log fire. ‘Yes, we do. We all used to say the same about you and Fergus.’ Allie’s tone was curt.

Felicity did her best not to let it upset her, but she knew Allie was never going to be a pushover and let her back in like Isla.

‘I’ve seen Isla too … I didn’t realise she had another baby on the way.’ Felicity tried to soften the conversation.

‘Well and truly on the way, in fact it could arrive at any time,’ answered Allie, swooping up the empty glasses from the nearby table but not catching her eye.

Felicity swallowed and took a deep breath. ‘Isla’s suggested maybe we have a proper catch up … that’s if you’re free?’

Allie thought for a second. ‘We’ll see… tomorrow is my night off,’ she replied, giving Felicity a glimmer of hope.

Felicity watched as Allie spotted Rory and smiled before disappearing back behind the bar to serve the customers.

‘So, how is life in the big city? Single, married…?’ probed Rory as Felicity stood next to him at the bar.

Felicity let out a breath. ‘Very much single.’

‘Really?’ His eyes widened.

‘I know it’s hard to believe,’ joked Felicity, ‘but really.’

‘How’s the job?’ Rory perched on the stool and Felicity sat next to him.

‘That’s not going brilliant either,’ she admitted. ‘It’s all doom and gloom in the life of Felicity Simons.’

‘Really? Your mum seems to think everything is hunky dory, working so hard that you couldn’t even have time off over Christmas.’

Instantly Felicity felt guilty once more. ‘That’s what I’d like her to think.’ She took a swooping glance over towards her mum who was chatting away to Rory’s parents, Stuart and Alana, at the other end of the bar.

‘The department store where I work has been sold to a company that has new ideas and seems more interested in making money than any sort of decent customer service. Let’s just say I don’t exactly gel with the new boss.’

‘One of those “let’s stamp my mark and change everything” types?’ asked Rory. ‘What do you think you are going to do about it?’

‘I’ve absolutely no idea,’ she sighed. ‘Going into work these days has had all the fun squeezed out of it. Time for a change I suppose … but I need to work out what that change is. How’s life at the practice?’ asked Felicity, taking a swig of her drink.

‘Good, really good. How long are you around for?’

‘A couple of weeks.’

‘Plenty of time to catch up then,’ he said, touching her gently on the shoulder.

Felicity had always liked Rory. He was such a kind-hearted person, always there with a smile on his face – someone who would do anything for anyone. She took a moment to think about Fergus. Allie had a good man in Rory and she knew that she’d always had a good man in Fergus. If only…

Starting to feel peckish, Felicity glanced over her shoulder and noticed a queue forming at the end of the long trestle table. At that very moment, Allie rang the bell behind the bar and shouted, ‘Help yourself to food!’

Within seconds, the lids of the aluminium pots were removed and the villagers began to spoon vast amounts of good wholesome food into their bowls.

Rona was near the front of queue. She made her way over to Felicity, offering her a bowl of chilli that Felicity gladly took from her mum’s hand.

By now, Rory had joined Allie and they were chatting with some of the other locals who were staring out of the window to the white street. The snow was still falling thick and fast. Felicity sat by the window and watched the flakes as she ate the delicious food. There was something very romantic about the first fall of snow.

She remembered a time when she had been woken up by the sound of a thud on her window pane. Thinking that a bird had flown into her window, she’d jumped out of bed only to find that snow had fallen through the night, and there standing in her garden was Fergus grinning up at her. He’d built the biggest snowman she’d ever set eyes on and was throwing snowballs at her window. They’d spent the day sledging on Heartcross Hill along with the rest of the villagers. It had been such fun and that was when she’d realised how strongly she was attracted to him. He was her ideal man and she’d fallen hook, line and sinker for Fergus Campbell.

‘Penny for them?’ asked Rona, who sat down next to Felicity and took a fleeting glance outside at the freshly fallen snow.

‘Ah, it’s nothing,’ Felicity replied, although she didn’t sound convincing. She didn’t want to admit how she’d messed up her life by running away to the big smoke, but sitting in the pub for the first time in a long time she realised she missed the familiarity of this place and the people who lived here.

She knew her time in London was nearly up and that she was falling out of love with the place. It had served a purpose at a time she needed it most but now she needed to make some tough decisions about her job and her life.

Rona didn’t press her daughter. She took the hint and changed the subject, but not before saying, ‘You know where I am if you want to talk.’

‘Thanks Mum,’ Felicity said, taking a sip of her drink.

Considering the number of villagers standing around, they were all relatively quiet while eating their food.

Felicity felt a slight draught as the pub door swung open. She didn’t realise she’d let out a long shuddering sigh, until Rona looked up. ‘You okay?’

Felicity didn’t answer and Rona followed her daughter’s gaze. Aggie Campbell had just walked into the pub.

Aggie hadn’t changed a bit over the years. A thin woman, around five foot five, she had a slim build and long dark hair. She was dressed casually in jeans, a tweed jacket with a neck scarf, and she stamped her snow boots on the mat and took off her gloves before rubbing her hands together. Both Fraser and Meredith shouted a warm welcome over the bar to her.

Felicity knew her mum’s relationship had suffered with Aggie when she’d ran from the village. Before that, they’d been good friends and often enjoyed nights out with each other. Aggie had even worked at the teashop when Rona and Bonnie had been short staffed. But then Felicity had broken her son’s heart and everything had changed. Afterwards, their friendship had become very strained knowing the pain each of their offspring was suffering.

The second Aggie’s eyes met Felicity’s, they narrowed, and she stopped dead in her tracks. This was a moment Felicity hadn’t been looking forward to and, feeling anxious, she shifted her bowl to make room for her elbows on the table and waited to see what would happen next. Her heart was thumping fast and she wondered frantically how she could make herself invisible, but it was too late. She could see Aggie walking over in their direction.

‘Well, you’re back then?’ Aggie coughed, bringing her hand to her chest. She tried to compose herself and wiped her mouth with a tissue.

Felicity looked up at Aggie who was now standing at the side of the table, her expression revealing exactly how she was feeling.

‘Aggie, we don’t want any trouble. We are just grabbing some food like everyone else in the village.’ Rona’s tone was firm.

Felicity shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Aggie coughed some more before attempting to speak again. ‘I hope you have the good grace to stay away from Fergus while you’re here.’

There was no sign of the friendly woman Felicity had once known. There’d been a time when Felicity would have considered Aggie a good friend, another mother figure in her life. Whilst Felicity had been with Fergus, she’d spent many a Sunday afternoon curled up on Aggie’s sofa watching films after enjoying a huge roast dinner cooked by Aggie alongside a mouth-watering dessert. But once they’d split, Aggie had changed towards Felicity in a heartbeat, the relationship they once had completely evaporated. The last time Felicity had seen Aggie had been the night she’d left Heartcross, Fergus sobbing in her arms, screaming at the taxi for Felicity to stay. But Felicity had left, leaving a devastated Fergus standing on Love Heart Lane, his heart breaking and hers too.

Felicity knew Aggie had good reason to be cold and was obviously determined that Felicity should still suffer for her actions all those years ago.

Thankfully, Felicity and Rona didn’t have a chance to respond.

‘Grandma, Grandma,’ an excited voice squealed. ‘Have you seen the snow?’ Esme appeared in the pub with a woman that Felicity had never seen before.

Aggie coughed again before she spun round to see her granddaughter running towards her. She opened her arms wide before the little girl launched herself at Aggie who spun her around a couple of times while she giggled. Placing her feet firmly back on the floor Aggie kissed the girl on both cheeks then grasped her hands.

‘Let’s get you something to eat and you know what, with all this snow still falling there will be no school tomorrow which means…’

‘We can build the biggest snowman ever!’ the girl shrieked.

Felicity watched Aggie wander over towards the food table still chatting away to her granddaughter and felt a tug at her heart. The little girl standing in front of her with a string of russet freckles scattered across her nose and those big brown eyes must be Fergus’s daughter.