Love Heart Lane

Watching that tiny boy, Felicity felt another pang of sadness. If only things had been different, she thought, blinking away the sudden tears that sprang from nowhere. The pain of the past still twisted in her stomach, and the fear of seeing Fergus again never went away, but over time she’d learnt to cope as best she could. With her heart thumping anxiously in her chest, Felicity shut her eyes briefly, trying to compose herself. As she calmed herself, a voice over the tannoy announced her flight and within seconds a surge of passengers stood up and began to make their way towards the gate clutching their passports and boarding cards. Felicity took in a breath and glanced towards the window. Outside, the sky had darkened and threatened snow. This was it, she thought to herself. She had no idea how people were going to react to her homecoming. All she could do now was hope for the best. Feeling anxious, she squeezed out a wobbly smile at the small boy who was now standing in the queue, grasping his mother’s hand and pointing towards the aircraft they were just about to board through the window.

Felicity’s chest heaved, and she couldn’t bear to think about it anymore. Keep breathing, she told herself, there’s no turning back. It’s time to go home.

Chapter 3

‘Where to?’ asked the taxi driver after he’d placed Felicity’s suitcase in the boot of the cab and climbed behind the wheel.

‘Heartcross,’ replied Felicity, pulling the gloves from her hands and resting them on her lap.

The driver turned and looked over his shoulder. ‘Heartcross? The track will be treacherous over the bridge and these flakes are falling fast.’

The moment Felicity had stepped off the plane she’d known this might be a problem. ‘I kind of gathered that may be the case. How close can you get me?’

The driver raised a sceptical eyebrow. ‘Maybe just before the bridge? I don’t want to be stranded.’

‘As close as you can then,’ Felicity replied, knowing she was in for a short trek up the track in severe weather conditions.

Heartcross was separated from the local town of Glensheil by a Grade II listed bridge that had arched over the River Heart for nearly two hundred years. The only way into the centre of the village was by a steep, mountainous track, approximately half a mile long. In the summer it was the most beautiful track to walk along, easily accessible by foot and four-wheel drives, but it was trickier in winter when the snow hit. The village was compact, home to approximately two hundred cottages, but with every amenity you might need.

Fifteen minutes later the cab began to crawl along, the wipers moving frantically and the wheels finding it difficult to turn in the snow. ‘This is about far as I can get you,’ the driver said, pulling the cab to a halt and climbing out to retrieve Felicity’s suitcase from the boot of the car.

Reluctantly, Felicity opened the door and shivered before paying the driver and taking the case from him.

She watched enviously as he clambered back into the warmth of his cab and slowly began to manoeuvre the car in the snow, the wheels spinning momentarily before they regained traction. The taxi driver appeared almost sympathetic as he wound down his window. ‘You’ll need to get a shifty on up that track, otherwise you’ll be stranded.’

Felicity nodded, clutching the handle of her suitcase tight. No sooner had the car’s icy tracks imprinted on the road, they were covered by a fresh onslaught of snow. Felicity knew it would be impossible to drag the wheels of her suitcase up the path in the snow for over half a mile and it was too heavy to carry. There was only one thing for it. She sighed as she abandoned the case under a tree before she began trudging through the snow.

Huddled deep inside her parka, Felicity clutched her handbag and raised a gloved hand to shield her eyes from the oversized snow confetti flying towards her. She’d prepared for the drop in temperature but as the ferocity of the snow stung her face she bowed her head and kept walking.

Twenty minutes later the blizzard was so strong the path of footprints she’d followed for a short while were already covered and the familiar sight of Love Heart Lane had nearly been erased. Her fingers and face stung but she allowed herself to be shoved along by the wind and snowstorm.

Finally, she reached the row of whitewashed cottages and heaved a huge sigh of relief when she noticed she’d nearly arrived home, at Heartwood Cottage. Even in the bleak mid-winter, the cottage looked as if it had come straight out of a fairy tale. On the solid oak door there was a heart carved in the middle, whittled by Felicity’s grandad on the day he’d moved in with his newly beloved wife Bonnie. It was a cosy dwelling and in the summer its hedges and oak beamed porch were entwined with pink clematis.

There wasn’t a soul in sight as Felicity slugged up the path towards the door. She stopped for a second and stared at Bonnie’s Teashop, thinking fleetingly that it seemed a little run down, until she remembered she was standing in a middle of a snowstorm and the flakes were blurring her vision.

She twisted the knob on the front door and was thankful it opened. Grateful to leave the blizzard behind, Felicity stamped her feet on the mat outside and closed the door behind her.

‘Mum, are you home?’ Felicity shouted up the hallway, peeling the sodden gloves from her bitterly cold hands and hanging her coat over the banister. ‘It’s only me.’

Felicity heard movement and startled eyes peered around the door of the living room. ‘Felicity? Oh my! It is you … come here!’ Rona hurried up the hallway with her arms flung wide open and Felicity fell into them. The familiarity and warmth of the hug brought fresh tears to Felicity’s eyes and she suddenly realised how much she had missed her mum, this place. She was glad to be home.

‘I can’t believe you’re here.’ Rona pulled away and held both of her daughter’s hands, kissing her cheeks, as she too shed a tear. ‘You don’t know how happy I am to see you … you’re freezing … let me get you a warm drink.’

Felicity wasn’t about to argue, she was frozen to the core. She followed her mum into the living room and took another moment to cast her gaze around. This time she was more certain that something had changed. Everything suddenly seemed so tired at Heartwood Cottage … so tattered. Even the curtains were hanging off the rail and there weren’t any blooms in sight. Back in the day, Rona would always display flowers in the front window, every week without fail.

‘How have you got here? The weather warnings are severe, surely no car could cross the bridge?’ Rona’s eyes were wide as she plumped up the cushions so Felicity could sit down.

‘The cab couldn’t cross the bridge, it was too treacherous. I had to walk the next half mile.’

‘Oh my, you should have rung, I could have sent Drew down with the tractor to fetch you.’

‘Mum, the mobile signal is virtually nothing.’ Felicity glanced at her phone. ‘See … no service.’ She held the phone up.

‘And where’s your suitcase?’ Rona gave a puzzled look all around.

‘I couldn’t drag it through the snow. I abandoned it under a tree … this side of the bridge though.’

‘It can’t stay there, you’ll never find it again. This snow is going to fall all night, maybe for the next few days. Ring the farm. The number is by the phone,’ Rona insisted, before poking the embers of the fire. Felicity hesitated and felt a wave of uneasiness pass through her.

‘Go on, the phone is where it’s always been,’ Rona continued brightly and shooed Felicity out into the hallway.

Foxglove Farm was owned by Isla and Drew Allaway. Felicity had known them all her life, and they had all once been the best of friends. Isla and Drew were childhood sweethearts who had married and took over the farm from Drew’s dad when his wife had sadly passed away. Even though over the years Felicity had taken short trips back home, she’d not seen or spoken to either Isla or Drew in all that time. She had no clue how they were going to react to her homecoming.

Hesitantly, she picked up the olive-green phone and began to dial the number. As soon as the phone connected it only took two rings before it was picked up. ‘Hello, Foxglove Farm.’ Even after all this time she instantly recognised Drew’s voice.

Felicity took a deep breath, ‘Hi Drew … it’s me … Felicity.’

There was a short pause on the other end of the line. ‘Flick!… Welcome home! It’s been a while.’

He sounded pleased to hear from her which was a relief. ‘Yes, it has. How are you?’

‘Good thanks, we are all good. But I’m sorry to hear the sad news about your grandmother.’

‘Thanks Drew … me too.’ There was a slight pause.

‘What can I do for you? Rona’s okay for wood, isn’t she?’ he asked with concern. ‘She doesn’t want to be stranded for warmth in this weather.’

‘I’m not sure … wait there … Mum!’ bellowed Felicity from the hallway. ‘Are you okay for wood?’

Immediately Rona appeared in the doorway. ‘That’s nearly the last of the logs on the fire. With everything … I’ve not had much time to re-stock. It’s all been quite difficult.’

‘Drew, are you okay to bring some logs up?’

‘Yes, of course … and what was it we can do for you?’

For a second, Felicity had forgotten why she was ringing. ‘My suitcase … it’s my case. It’s stranded by the bridge at the bottom of the track … under the tree. The wheels wouldn’t turn in the snow and it was too heavy to lift. Mum thought you might…’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll come now Felicity,’ he responded valiantly, ‘before it’s buried forever. Well, until the snow thaws anyway.’ He gave a small chuckle.

‘Thanks Drew,’ she said, before hanging up and joining her mum back in the living room.

‘I’ve made tea … help yourself,’ said Rona, ‘and have a flapjack.’ She pointed to the plate on the coffee table. ‘We always had a slice of flapjack at this time, most days.’ Her voice suddenly wavered and Felicity felt a pang of sadness as her mother glanced towards the empty rocking chair which displayed her grandmother’s hand-crocheted, multi-coloured blanket draped over the back of it.

Felicity instantly felt guilty for not being around to help her mum during her grandmother’s illness. The tiredness and grief in her mum’s eyes were apparent.

Out of every inch of Felicity’s body poured the memories of her grandmother, magical moments she’d never forget. She could still remember the hours she’d spent in the teashop at the weekend mirroring her grandmother while she helped to bake all the delicious cakes and scones.

‘I’m so sorry, Mum, for not coming home at Christmas,’ Felicity said, genuinely remorseful.

‘It’s not that easy to just up and leave your job, especially working in the department store. It must be one of the busiest times of the year. And how is Adrian? I thought I might finally get to meet him.’

Felicity exhaled. ‘It’s over Mum … we’ve finished. He’s moved out.’

‘Oh Felicity, why didn’t you say?’ Rona’s voice was earnest.

‘Because it was my choice. Honestly, he just wasn’t my happy ever after … that’s all there is to it.’

Rona gave Felicity a knowing look.

‘Mum, don’t give me that look,’ she exclaimed.

‘You do know you’re going to have to face your happy ever after at some point.’

Felicity protested. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

But she knew exactly who her mum was talking about … Fergus.

She and Fergus had made plans, they’d promised each other they’d be together forever. Felicity had thought their love was unbreakable until tragedy had struck… twice. Then Felicity had convinced herself she’d never be enough for him, and she’d upped and left for London, breaking his heart as well as her own.

She took a second to remember their first kiss. Her knees had actually trembled like in the movies and goose bumps had prickled over every inch of her skin. She remembered the feeling like it had only happened yesterday. Felicity knew that being back for two whole weeks, she was bound to bump into Fergus at some point. She wasn’t sure how he was going to react to seeing her after all this time or how she was going to feel.

Hearing the drone of the tractor outside, Felicity thankfully abandoned her train of thought. She shifted to the edge of the settee and flicked a glance out of the window. There was Drew waiting outside. He noticed her and gave her a quick wave above his head as Felicity stood up.

‘I’ve brought your old snow boots in from the shed, you’ll need them out there on a day like today.’

‘Thanks Mum.’

Felicity thrust her feet into her old boots and slipped her arms into her coat. ‘I won’t be long,’ she said, closing the cottage door behind her.

Since her arrival, the snow hadn’t given up for a second and already Love Heart Lane was covered in a thick blanket, inches deep. Felicity had barely seen snow in London – the odd flurry here and there, but nothing that ever stuck.

But Heartcross was used to this kind of weather, they were prepared. The route into the village would be restricted and depending on the snowfall some vehicles might find it difficult to climb the half mile track but when they knew the bad weather was coming the delivery drivers always doubled up on supplies.

Felicity pulled open the door of the tractor to be greeted Drew’s huge beam. ‘Hi Flick, jump in. It’s great to see you.’

Drew hadn’t changed a bit. His blond tight corkscrew curls were still as springy as the last time she’d set eyes on him.

‘How are you?’ asked Felicity. ‘And Isla?’

Drew started the engine, and the tractor began to move through the snow with ease.

‘She’s fed up, but not long to go now until the baby’s arrival.’

Felicity swung a glance towards Drew. ‘Baby?’

‘Aye, a baby brother for Finn, due in the next few weeks.’

Felicity had had no idea. ‘Congratulations!’ She was genuinely chuffed for them both. The pair had been inseparable since high school and had married at the age of nineteen at the small church in Heartcross. Their wedding had been beautiful, and all they’d ever wanted was to be together, a family.

‘We are all ready for the little fellow, but this weather is a worry if Isla goes into labour. I can see her arriving at the hospital in this tractor—’ he gave a small chuckle ‘—and she won’t be best pleased about that.’

Felicity smiled. ‘Any names?’

‘Angus,’ said Drew proudly, ‘after my father.’

‘Great name.’

‘How’s the big city?’ he asked, changing the subject while carefully steering the tractor down the steep slope towards the bridge.

‘Not how it used to be.’ The words were out of Felicity’s mouth before she could stop them.

He snagged her eye. ‘Everything okay? That doesn’t sound good.’

‘It’s just work, I’m not as enthusiastic about it as I once was.’

‘I know that feeling. If you need a shoulder, Isla’s going nowhere. She’s always been a good listener,’ he offered with a smile, halting the tractor. ‘She’d love to see you. How long are you around for?’

‘A couple of weeks.’

‘In fact,’ he said, opening the door and jumping to the ground, ‘come back with me now to the farm. I need to load up Rona’s wood – say hello to Isla and then I’ll give you a lift back.’

Felicity thought about it for a second. It had been eight years since she’d set foot on Foxglove Farm. The very last time was the night she’d upped and left.

‘Yes, you know, I will. It will be great to see Isla.’

‘She’s missed you, you know … but understands you’ve had a lot to deal with. Now where’s this suitcase of yours?’

‘Just there, under the tree,’ answered Felicity, her thoughts turning to Isla. She’d missed Isla too, and all of a sudden she felt a tiny pang. True friendship was hard to find and Felicity knew she had a great deal of apologising to do. Of course in London she’d hung out with people, and she socialised with many work colleagues from the department store – but her only real friend was Polly from the pub. And no one had come close to the friendship she’d once shared with her two oldest friends Isla and Allie. They’d always been a close-knit group until Felicity had decided she needed to escape the pressures of a small village, spread her wings and escape into the world beyond Heartcross.

The snow crunched under Drew’s boots as he quickly retrieved the suitcase and threw it into the tractor before turning around and driving the short journey back to Foxglove Farm.

‘So, were you prepared for this weather?’ asked Felicity, holding onto her seat as they bounced along the snowy rocky track.

‘We knew it was coming but didn’t expect it to descend so quickly and it’s here for the foreseeable. Apparently, according to the predictions, this is going to be the worst snowfall we’ve had in twenty years.’ Drew cocked an eyebrow.

Felicity hadn’t realised this when she’d jumped on the flight from London, and she suddenly panicked. ‘Has the village already made provisions?’

‘The last trucks came over the bridge this morning and stocked up Hamish’s shop. It may be a few days before they can get through again.’

‘How is Hamish?’

Hamish and his wife Ava had owned the village shop for as long as Felicity could remember. They were lovely down-to-earth people in their mid-sixties, who had never set foot outside of Scotland. Felicity had fond memories of them both. After school her grandmother used to give her a handful of pennies – the local shop always had the best collection of penny chews, and Hamish would often throw in extras for Felicity. But two years ago, Ava had passed away, leaving Hamish completely devastated and struggling to cope without the woman he’d loved for all those years by his side. The village community had rallied around him, helping to keep the shop running until he was back on his feet.

‘He’s doing okay now. It took him a while but recently he’s joined numerous clubs in the village from the ramblers, which keeps him fit, to playing bowls.’

‘Good for him.’

‘He’ll be happy to see you. He always had a soft spot for you. Everyone in the village was deeply saddened by your grandmother’s death. The village is definitely not the same.’ His voice faltered. ‘She was always kind to me. As a wee kid, I used the shortcut at the back of your house on the way to school and your grandmother was always waiting at the garden gate with a sausage roll or a slice of homemade cake for my lunch box. She was an absolute gem. It’s a shame to see the teashop close after all this time though. Isla used to love to escape there for a slice of cake and a cup of tea on the way back from the village.’

Felicity swung round towards Drew. ‘What do you mean, the teashop has closed?’ Surely Drew had got that wrong.

‘Have I said something out of turn?’ asked a surprised Drew. ‘Didn’t you know?’

Felicity shook her head. ‘Mum hasn’t said a thing, well, not to me anyway.’ She felt sad that the teashop hadn’t been open and perplexed as to why she hadn’t been told. ‘How long?’

‘I’d say a good six months. It’s been difficult since your grandmother became ill. Your mum couldn’t keep everything going.’

Felicity’s eyes became glazed with a layer of glassy tears. She brushed them away with her glove. Why hadn’t her mum told her how difficult things had become? ‘I didn’t know Drew, I really didn’t.’

‘Allie thought you may be back sooner to give a hand, but then we all realised it’s not that easy when you have your own job to do and a life in London.’

Felicity nodded, but no words came out. Why hadn’t she come back at Christmas? But in her heart of hearts she knew why – that time of year was always too painful for her.

‘Working in a department store it’s always busy in the lead up to Christmas and then there’s the sales.’ Felicity knew she was saying the right things, but it didn’t sit right with her. Deep down, she knew she’d let her mum down and wished she could turn back time.

Drew nodded, ‘Here we are, Foxglove Farm. It’s been a while since you’ve seen this place.’

‘Too long,’ Felicity whispered under her breath, looking out of the windscreen at the swirling storm of white that was being battered away by the wipers. The usual sight of the farmhouse was nearly hidden by the snow that now swirled densely.

‘What on earth?’ A sudden movement in the bottom field caught Drew’s eye. Felicity shot a look towards Drew, then followed his gaze.

And suddenly, there he was in the distance, waving his arms frantically towards the tractor. Fergus. Felicity’s breath caught in her throat as she recognised him instantly, her heart pounding faster against her chest. She’d never anticipated that he would be here, at the farm, and she had no idea how he was going to react to seeing her for the first time in eight years. This wasn’t how she’d planned it out in her head.

Drew flounced out of the tractor leaving the engine running, bellowing to Felicity to follow him. Before she had time to think she trailed Drew through the blanket of snow, her legs trembling. Snowflakes pelted against her face as she struggled to keep up with him.

‘Drew … I need help.’ Fergus Campbell’s voice was fraught. ‘The Shetland is stranded in the icy water.’

Drew stopped for a second to assess the situation, raking his wet hands through his hair. The pony was struggling to climb up the bank of the river. Each time it tried it slipped back down into the water.

‘We need a rope … wait there, and I’ll bring the tractor back down,’ he cried, turning and striding back past Felicity quickly. ‘You stay with Fergus,’ he instructed with authority.

Fergus hadn’t spotted Felicity yet but it was only a matter of time. Felicity felt anxious, the past dominating her mind. As she moved closer, she could see the panic-stricken face of Fergus, and her nerves jumped all together in every direction. She’d no idea how Fergus was going to react to her arrival back in Heartcross but any second now she was about to find out.

Felicity looked nervously in his direction, and finally Fergus met her gaze. For a split second he narrowed his eyes and remained silent.

She swallowed. ‘Hi Fergus.’ As much as Felicity didn’t want her voice to sound shaky, she faltered.

Fergus just stared at her, then gritted his teeth. There was no welcoming smile, more of a ‘What are you doing here’ grimace.

Felicity felt her cheeks colour fast and that was down to the look on Fergus’s face, not the cold white flakes stinging her face.

‘Well, you crop up in the most unexpected places,’ he said gruffly.

Felicity flinched at his words. She’d dreaded this moment and didn’t know what to say as she swallowed a lump in her throat. The snowflakes continued to pelt against her frozen cheeks, clinging to her eyelashes forcing her eyes into a squint.

‘And don’t look at me like that; what did you expect, that you’d be welcomed back with open arms?’

The tension between them could be cut with a knife.

Felicity felt wretched. She’d not prepared for this meeting and had thought she’d at least have a couple of days to catch up with Allie and Isla first and gauge how the land lay.

‘It doesn’t have to be like this,’ said Felicity, knowing it wasn’t going to be easy.

‘So, you’re finally back then? How long has it been?’ His dark brows sloped downwards in a serious expression and the playful smile she once knew had drawn into a hard line across his face.

Feeling a tug at her heart, Felicity felt shameful. Fergus was a decent man and she knew she hadn’t been fair to him. He’d needed her, but she hadn’t been able to cope. Call it self-preservation but the only person she could concentrate on at the time was herself. She’d been young, but she’d treated him badly, and he had every right to speak to her this way even though it saddened her that it had come to this.

‘Eight years,’ she said regretfully.

Fergus’s hazel eyes didn’t look any different from all those years ago, and she could still sense a sadness in them. He stood and raked the snow from his swooping fringe that revealed the kind face Felicity had once loved to kiss. He was handsome all right, but his character was also beautiful on the inside. He was slim yet muscular and his face almost symmetrical with his sharp jawline and chiselled cheekbones. She felt a pang in her heart and wished she could turn back time.