After She Fell: A haunting psychological thriller with a shocking twist

A friend.

Bloody buggering hell. Malone. Her erstwhile lover. The undercover police officer who had almost – not quite – broken her heart after she had allowed herself to fall in love with him. Scratch that. He had broken her heart. Malone had wormed his way into her life and into Gus’s life. Then she found out, quite by chance, he was married. And what was worse, had got married as part of an investigation he was running. What did that say about his attitude to women? She hadn’t spoken to or heard from Malone since she’d found out that special little nugget of information and had thrown him out of her life.

Her hand shook as she thumbed through her contacts on her phone. There it was. His mobile number. She wondered if it still worked or if he’d had to change it because of being chased by women. She stabbed the button.

It rang.

‘Hallo?’

It was his voice: she would know it anywhere.

‘Malone.’

‘Who is this?’

‘You bloody well know who this is, Malone. Alex.’

‘Well, it’s been some time; you can forgive a man for not recognizing your voice.’ He sounded amused. ‘How are you doing?’

She felt irrationally upset to realize that her name had not come up on his phone. She pushed the feeling aside. ‘Have you been talking to Gus about his father?’ The silence at the other end of the phone told her everything. ‘Malone, what the fuck do you think you’re doing interfering? How dare you? How dare you?’ She found she was shaking. ‘It’s up to me to tell him about his dad, not you. I will tell him about his father when I see fit. Is that clear?’

‘But you don’t know much about him, do you? You told me that. Gus came to me and asked for help. Look, I’m fond of the boy and I’ve got the contacts.’

‘So …’ she spluttered, ‘so frigging what? I should never have said anything about him to you.’

‘You didn’t tell me much.’

‘I don’t know much, that’s why,’ she shouted down the phone, his calm voice making her even angrier.

‘I know. But his first name and where he worked at the time was a good start.’

‘Malone. It still has nothing to do with you. Nothing. Do you understand? You are Out. Of. My. Life.’

‘Well, I have been for the last couple of years. Tell me, how are you keeping?’

‘Nothing to do with you.’

‘Work?’

His quiet tone – as if nothing had happened between them, as if he hadn’t broken her heart, as if she hadn’t kicked him out – made her see bright, bright, angry red. ‘Work is fine, thank you. Absolutely fine.’

‘What are you doing, Alex? Writing about pop stars? Reality TV? Fashion features?’

She heard the sneer in his voice and the mist became even redder. ‘I’m looking into a possible murder, actually. The daughter of an MEP.’ The words were out before she could stop them. Why did she respond to his goading so?

‘Just be careful, Alex.’

‘Oh … just fuck off. And leave my son alone. I forbid you to have any more to do with him.’

She stabbed the off button.

God but she needed a drink.

Snatching up a cardigan, she had just reached the front door when she heard a ringing from inside the house. A landline. Ignore it, she told herself, it wouldn’t be for her. But the ringing continued: insistent, compelling.

Bugger. It was like a Pavlovian reflex: the need to answer, just in case there was a story at the end of it.

She went back into the house towards the sound of the ringing and found the phone in the corner of a windowsill in the dining room.

‘Hello?’

There was silence at the other end.

‘Hello? Who’s there?’

Still silence, though she thought she could hear the soft sound of breathing.

‘Look, I know there’s someone there. Do you have something to say?’

There was a click as whoever was on the other end of the line put the phone down.

She looked at the receiver in her hand. What was that all about?

On the piece of well-kept grass outside the Green Man, people were sitting at picnic tables with pints of beer and glasses of wine. A lighthouse painted with red and white bands dominated the skyline a couple of hundred metres from the pub. A couple stood outside smoking. The place looked welcoming: an open door and buzz of voices spilling out onto the street, hanging baskets and tubs of tumbling early summer flowers – petunias, geraniums, busy lizzies – Alex’s horticultural knowledge stopped there. Honeysuckle scrambling over a fence scented the late evening air.

The walk had calmed her; the red mist had receded. She was not going to think about Malone any more. The fresh air had been just what she needed to shake off the phone call to him and then the odd one with no one on the other end, and a drink would be bloody helpful too. Plus, the village pub was a good place to start asking around, quietly, about the school.

‘You can go on in, love. They won’t bite.’

Alex looked at the grizzled old boy in a thick pullover grasping his pint with dirt-encrusted hands. ‘Thanks,’ she said, smiling. ‘You don’t always know, do you, whether you’ll be welcome or not?’

The old boy chuckled. ‘This in’t one of yer fancy London pubs: all fur coat and no knickers. This is a right real place. Tony keeps a good pint, even if he has prettied the old boozer up a bit.’ Cackling, he went back to his pint.

The bar was full and the aroma of food, drink, and fun swirled around her head. Couples, friends, men and women were sitting round tables, some eating, some merely drinking, and the bar was lined with people. In one corner was a pool table with two teenagers engrossed in a game. Probably underage. Gus managed his first pint at fifteen in a pub with a pool table.

She pushed her way up to the bar.

‘Hi.’ A woman of about thirty-five with a pierced lip, crop top, and bleached blonde hair smiled at her.

‘Hi. Glass of dry white wine, please.’ She perched on a stool that had become free.

The barmaid went to the fridge took out the bottle and began to pour the wine into a glass. She had half a dozen silver bracelets on one arm that clinked as she poured.

‘Thanks,’ said Alex, as she handed over the money. ‘Nice pub, this.’

The barmaid grinned. ‘Bit fancy these days but the punters are good-hearted. Loyal, too. You on holiday?’ She proffered Alex the change.

Not fancy prices though. ‘Keep that. Buy yourself one.’

‘Ta.’ The barmaid poured herself a glass of wine too.

‘Oi, Kylie.’ A man came out of what Alex presumed was the kitchen carrying two plates of fish and chips. ‘Get your arse into gear.’

‘I’m on my break, Tony, okay?’

Tony rolled his eyes as he weaved his way through customers to find the right table.

‘He could do with employing more sods like me, then I’d be able to have a proper break,’ the barmaid muttered.

Alex smiled and took a sip of her wine. Cold. Slightly sharp but nicely alcoholic. ‘Not exactly. On holiday, I mean.’

‘Oh?’ The barmaid leaned on the bar, obviously up for a chat. ‘I’m Kylie, by the way.’

‘Alex. I’m here looking into the death of the girl from the school. The Drift. For the family. Get some closure. They’re in bits.’

Kylie drew back, a guarded look on her face. ‘What, you’re some sort of private detective? Or copper?’

‘Nothing like that. A friend of the family who’s good at asking questions. Her mum wants to make sure she knows everything.’ Alex leaned forward. ‘She doesn’t trust coppers.’

‘Who does?’ Kylie said. ‘And I’m thinking you mean the girl from the nobby school who topped herself just before Christmas? Yeah, I heard about that. Poor kid. Poor family.’

‘Did you ever see her? I mean, in my day we were always trying to get into the local pubs when we were at school, y’know? Thought it was cool.’

Kylie nodded. ‘Yeah, they do try. The local kids come to play pool – as you can see – and the posh kids come to hang about and pretend to be slumming it. Think we don’t notice them but you can always tell the posh kids. Designer clothes and trainers however much mud they like to splatter on them. Most of the time they leave quietly when they’re told, or they are eighteen, but occasionally—’

‘Yeah?’

‘They make a bloody song and dance and then the landlord has to sort ’em out. When he’s not downing the profits, of course.’

‘What about the school? Do they come down heavily on them? Punish them?’

‘I think it’s punishment enough being up at that place,’ she chortled. ‘They lose some of their privileges, apparently.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘As if they didn’t have enough already. But the diehards always come back again. It is funny, though, when there are teachers in here and the kids come in. They usually turn tail and run fast.’

‘Teachers come here?’

‘Don’t sound so surprised,’ said Kylie in mock horror. ‘Only pub in the village,’ she said, putting on a dodgy Welsh accent.

Alex remembered Gus liking Little Britain and smiled at the joke.

‘Besides,’ Kylie went on, downing her drink, ‘there’s nowhere else to go. Not in Hallow’s Edge. Unless you count the teashop, and that’s not licensed. Have to drive to Norwich for entertainment. Or, I suppose, Cromer or Sheringham, if you’re desperate. And believe me, some of those teachers are that desperate to get out of that place. Another?’ She pointed at the glass that was empty, though Alex couldn’t remember drinking it.

Alex nodded, pushing her glass across the bar. It was a fine line to draw: wanting to be friendly and encouraging without getting totally pissed. ‘And one for you?’

Kylie looked around the bar and shrugged. ‘Why not? The punters can drink a bit more slowly.’ She grinned before pouring two more glasses when someone came to the bar and ordered a round of drinks. ‘Hang on a tic, I’ll be back in a mo.’

‘Busy tonight,’ said Alex, when Kylie came back. ‘The pub.’

Kylie sniffed. ‘It’s not bad, I suppose. Gets better when the summer kicks in proper.’ She nodded over to a corner. ‘Look. Talking about having kids from The Drift in here, there are a couple over there.’

Alex turned slowly, trying to appear nonchalant. Sure enough, in the corner were two boys. One of them she had seen when she stopped at the school when she first arrived. What had he said his name was? Theo, that was it. The other lad was cut from the same mould. Square jaw, blue eyes, tanned skin, silver stud in his ear. He caught her eye and raised his pint.

Alex turned back to Kylie. ‘So,’ she said, ‘why are the teachers desperate to come here?’

‘Huh, that’s easy. Being cooped up at the school is, I am reliably informed, shit, pardon my French. You know, driven by results and all that, and rich kids’ parents wanting their little darlings to succeed. You have to feel sorry for the poor sods: kids and teachers. Drives them all to drink.’ Kylie took a bar towel and started to wipe down the bar. ‘But, you wanna know more about that kid, that right?’

‘Elena Devonshire.’

‘Because? I mean, she killed herself didn’t she? We haven’t had no coppers in here since she was found at the bottom of the cliff that morning. I don’t think old Reg has recovered yet, poor bugger.’

Alex remembered the name from some of the press reports. ‘Reg Gardiner? He found Elena?’

‘That’s right.’

Suddenly, thought Alex, Kylie was remembering a lot more than she had when she’d first walked in. Perhaps the wine had loosened her tongue.

‘Lives in a tumbledown caravan that’s about to drop into the sea, and spends his time walking at all hours with his dog.’

‘Is he the old boy sitting outside?’

‘Reg? In the pub? No, my love, you won’t find him in here. He likes to drink on his own in the caravan. Bit of a loner.’ Kylie leaned over the bar to whisper conspiratorially in a loud voice. ‘There’ve been rumours that he was inside a few years back, but nobody’s sure what for. He’s not quite right in the head, if you know what I mean?’

‘Must have been awful for him.’ Alex took the photograph of Elena that Cat had given her out of her bag. ‘Did you ever see her in here?’

Kylie blew air through her pursed lips. ‘Not in here.’

Alex nodded, not quite sure what she was hoping for.

‘I did see her around the village sometimes. They’re allowed out on Friday evenings and at weekends. She ran with a crowd; you know, the sort of girls that all look the same? Well-groomed, designer clothes, long, straight blonde hair.’ Kylie poured them both another glass of wine, pushed the glass towards Alex. ‘I say she ran with them, but it was odd. She never really seemed a part of them.’

‘Was she ever with a boy. On her own?’

Kylie thought for a minute. ‘Maybe. I dunno.’ She shrugged. ‘To be honest, as I say, I can’t tell one from another. Anyway,’ she drank some of her wine, ‘you sure you aren’t some sort of private detective?’

Alex shook her head. ‘No. I really am a friend of the family. And a journalist.’ She saw Kylie’s eyebrows rise to her hairline. ‘Like I said, I just want to get to the truth,’ she said hurriedly, before Kylie thought to throw her out. ‘If there is another truth. Maybe she did throw herself off the cliff, but her mum wants to be sure, you know?’

Kylie nodded. ‘Yeah. I guess.’ She looked at her watch. ‘Anyway, my break’s done. Nice to meet you, Alex.’

‘If you hear anything or can help in any way—’ Alex took a card out of her bag. ‘My mobile number’s on here.’

‘Cheers. Best get on.’ Kylie turned to serve some more customers, and Alex wondered whether her quick dismissal was to do with the fact she was a hack and thus intrinsically untrustworthy. Still, she wanted to make a few waves, see if anyone came out of the woodwork, and a barmaid as voluble as Kylie was bound to spread the word that there was someone asking questions about Elena Devonshire’s death.

She went out into the still warm summer evening where the light was only just beginning to fail. She was restless, slightly on edge, and didn’t want to go back to the cottage straightaway. Now, she judged, would be as good a time as any to see where Elena had fallen to her death. The walk from the pub to the headland shouldn’t take her long – blimey, by the time she went back to London she would be as fit as a butcher’s dog with all this exercise.

There it was – the road that ended in a sheer drop down to the beach. A huge slab of concrete partially blocked her way but it was easily skirted around. Had that been there when Elena had come along the road? And why would she even have been on this bit of tarmac if she hated heights so much? She must have known where it led.

She walked along it. There was no barrier. Nothing to tell her of the danger at the end of the road. Only police tape that must have been put up after Elena had died. That’s what she had seen from down below. Not that a piece of flimsy tape would stop anybody from falling over the edge. She went closer to the edge and peered over. ‘Bloody hell,’ she said to herself, ‘that is one steep drop.’ Below were the large black rocks, some naturally there, others looked as though they had been brought in as sea defences. As she inched further forward, she sent small pieces of stone and tarmac skittering down to the beach below. She steadied herself. There was nothing between her and that drop. She stepped back from the edge feeling a little dizzy. How easy would it have been to take that final step? Would anything be going through your mind, or would it be a spur of the moment decision?

She looked around and there was the chalet bungalow and, further along the path, the caravan that she’d seen earlier from below, also teetering on the edge of the cliff, both looking like they had been abandoned by their owners years ago. Although, as she got closer, she could see there were signs of life in the caravan, even though two of the windows were boarded up. There was an electricity cable of sorts running from goodness knows where and into the caravan. Old and holey socks were pegged to a makeshift washing line at the side. There had even been an attempt to cultivate the patch of earth by the caravan steps. Must be Reg Gardiner’s place, she thought. Perhaps he had seen more than he had let on. If he had a criminal record he wouldn’t have been willing to talk to the coppers. She filed the thought away.

Walking past the caravan, she came to the chalet. Unloved. Uncared for, definitely empty. She hopped over a small wall, ignoring a scrawled notice that said ‘Keep Out’. On the tufty grass lay Coke and beer cans, cider bottles, empty crisp packets; the wrapping from a couple of sandwiches, broken glass. A leggy yellow rose together with a rosemary bush tried to survive in the dry earth. She went over to the chalet and pushed the door. It lurched open. Without stopping to think, Alex went inside.

It was the acrid smell that got to her first: fetid, feral, unwashed bodies. The light coming through the windows was dim, so she turned on the torch on her phone and shone it around. In the corner of the room was a frayed and crumpled sleeping bag. Several cigarette packets lay discarded on the floor together with more empty Coke cans, crisp packets, glass from the broken windows. In a small mound of blackened wood and paper there was evidence a fire had been set. A pile of newspapers teetered on the floor, which was covered with cracked and rotting lino. There was an old stool with three legs, a couple of tatty chairs, and a small table that had seen better days. A mound of plaster and rotten wood was scattered on the floor. She looked up and saw broken struts from the bedroom floor above. On the table were what looked like a couple of atrophied bread rolls and an empty can of baked beans, mould growing in the leftover tomato sauce at the bottom. Had someone actually sat at this table and eaten something? Threadbare curtains fluttered at the windows.

She tried to breathe through her mouth so the sharp, sour smell didn’t catch at the back of her throat. Somehow she didn’t think this was a meeting place for lovers. Surely even hormonal kids wanting a fumble or more would be more discerning? Especially if they came from The Drift. Ha. If they came from The Drift they would have the run of Mummy and Daddy’s second home somewhere along this coast. Not for nothing was it nicknamed Chelsea-on-Sea. Local kids, would they come to a dive like this? Unlikely. There must be better spots. What about junkies? Alex looked. Sure enough, a couple of syringes lay discarded on the floor. Being careful where she stepped, she went over to the sleeping bag, picked it up by one corner. A couple of discarded syringes rolled out and clattered onto the lino. Then a belt and a bent, discoloured teaspoon. Sadness washed over her. Drugs were everywhere. It was a popular misconception that those in the country or in nice seaside villages didn’t have a problem with drugs, that it was confined to urban jungles. So wrong. It was everywhere; many driven to it by the boredom, loneliness, and the isolation brought about by living in a place where there was nothing to do and no public transport.

The atmosphere was oppressive, bearing down on her shoulders. It was time to get out; there was nothing else for her here.

She took a last look round, shining the phone torch into dark corners, and saw something dully reflecting the light. She went over and picked it up. It was dusty and grimy so she wiped it on her jeans. An oddly shaped ring, silver probably. An eternity ring perhaps? Alex’s heart beat faster. Could this be Elena’s ring? The one Cat had said was missing? And if it was, what was it doing in a dump like this?

And who had the other one of the pair?

CHAPTER 8

ELENA

End of May: twenty-eight weeks before she dies

Is this how it begins? A few snatches of conversation here and a few there: conversation that feels all secret and special. It is intoxicating. Liberating.

I’m lying on my saggy old bed in an old tee-shirt and scuzzy shorts looking round the room I share with Tara. The posters on the wall: One Direction, for God’s sake; The ‘Desiderata’: ‘No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.’ Really? Maybe it is, now. Strings of fairy lights carelessly winding around the headboards. Our two desks piled high with books and papers; photographs of family and friends Sellotaped onto the walls above. Clothes discarded on chairs, spilling out of the two small wardrobes; shelves jam-packed with books, soft toys, pieces of memories of friends. This is my life on the surface. It doesn’t show the dark side. The you-know-what. The depression. The anxiety. The anorexia. And in recent times, the anger that Mum had to go and marry someone so unsuitable: that’s the word, isn’t it? Unsuitable and young, for fuck’s sake! I mean, what’s that all about?

I’ve always known I’m different. I don’t surround myself with besties, don’t wear friendship bracelets, don’t want to go to boy band gigs. Apart from the you-know-what, I am happy in my own skin. As I say, just wanting to get through it and out the other side.

But now.

But now things are changing. Really changing. I thought that wouldn’t happen until I’d left this dump, gone to uni, gone on a gap year, done something, lived a little. But it’s happening now. Right here, right now. I hug the knowledge to myself, wanting to get each moment out of my head and look at it. Hold it up to the light. Twist it around and around and examine it, watch it sparkle. Is it really happening? Is love really happening?

There’s a knock on the door.

I find Max waiting outside, shuffling from foot to foot and blushing. Of course.

‘What do you want?’ I ask, not unkindly coz I know he fancies me. A lot. Even if he can hardly bear to look at me.

‘I… I… I …’ He looks down at his shoes.

I try not to sigh. He can’t help his stammer. ‘Come on Max, I’ve got to get back to an essay I’m trying to write. And you shouldn’t be here anyway.’ He would get into real trouble if any of the prefects found him in the sixth form building at this time of day.

‘I know.’ His face is anxious. ‘I just …’

Now I am getting pissed off. I have things I want to do and it doesn’t involve writing an essay.

‘I saw you with Theo the other day,’ he blurts out. ‘Coming from the summerhouse. He talks about you to his friends. He’s really horrible.’

‘I know that, Max. Don’t worry about it. I don’t.’

‘You should. What about me?’

‘You?’

‘Me.’

The silence is painful as it dawns on me what he is asking. ‘Max.’ I try to sound even kinder than before. ‘I can’t – you’re too – it’s just …’

His eyes are wet. Then he thrusts something at me. ‘Here. For you.’ Then he runs off.

A box of chocolates. A frigging box of chocolates. Oh, Max.

I throw the box of chocs onto my desk before locking the door. Tara is doing prep in the library and won’t be up for hours. I look at my clothes. I pick a pair of skinny jeans up off the floor, pull an electric blue shirt off a hanger and dress quickly. I won’t have much time to do this. I go to the chest of drawers and find my eyeliner and mascara. Finally, I rub some gloss over my lips and give my hair a quick brush. Rummaging around in my bag, I find my phone and open up Facebook. I hardly ever do this, but I’m happy. I post. Then thumb through to the camera, pressing video then record. The red dot comes on. How long have I got? God, I should have found that out. Never mind. I can go on until it stops. Can’t I?

I sit cross-legged on the bed and brush the hair out of my eyes. I smile. That’s easy. I feel like smiling all the time now.

‘Hello, it’s me. Elena,’ I say to the screen. Awkward! I cough, not sure what to say next. This is new territory for me. A private video. I run my tongue around my lips, tasting the stickiness of my lip gloss, then smile at the screen. ‘Did you mean what you said? That you found me beautiful? That you wanted to hear what I had to say about things? That you …’ I hesitate for a moment, ‘were really interested in me? As if what I thought matters? As if I matter?’