Let It Snow

He turned to the kettle as if he needed to check he’d turned it on, although it was already making growling noises. ‘Not all of it,’ he answered vaguely. ‘Maybe I automatically switch off when it comes to sisters. You met mine, yesterday – Flora. Always on my case about something.’

Diverted, she regarded him with interest. ‘She’s your sister? She seemed nice.’

‘As sisters go.’ But he smiled as he finished making the coffee and carried the mugs to the table. Lily took hers with thanks. He’d given her the Dalmatian mug.

A ting! hit the air and Isaac pulled out his phone. He hesitated and frowned at the screen.

‘Do you need to answer?’ Lily asked politely. ‘Or I can leave if you need to make a call.’

‘It’s voicemail.’ He tapped a couple of times, listened, then slid the handset onto the table. ‘The call came in when I was in a no-signal area hiking around the fens. My accountant. It’s after office hours now so no point calling till tomorrow.’ He rubbed his temples as if the mere idea of it made his head ache. ‘Giving up the lease at Juno Lounge and winding up the business produced a lot of paperwork and process.’

‘Oh.’ She added milk to her coffee. ‘I hadn’t realised you were a leaseholder. I’d assumed you were just the manager.’

His jaw tightened. ‘It was my business so it affected me pretty badly when it went belly-up. It was nothing I did wrong but it hurts.’

‘I’m sure.’ She wrinkled her forehead, trying to bring to mind what had happened to Juno Lounge, the kind of place that once had been very much part of the scenery. ‘I suppose it was affected by the closure to the parkway, was it?’

He nodded. ‘A bridge was suddenly found to be failing dangerously and that was it. Road closed. It cut the lifeblood to the Juno. There was a back lane access but it was small and out of the way. With the parkway closed large, jolly “Open as usual!” signs had no effect. People found other places to go and in no time I was in the crap.’ He paused to sip his coffee.

‘Can’t you insure against interruption to business?’ she asked sympathetically. No wonder he always had shadows in his eyes.

‘You can.’ He nodded. ‘But it only applies to specific circumstances and a bridge that had gradually deteriorated wasn’t an “insured peril”. Two bridges further up were found to need work too, which proved the death blow. The brewery bought me out of the lease, in the circumstances, but it wasn’t a generous offer. They’re more able to afford to sit out the months while the bridges are repaired than I am but they must still be losing money, as I closed up in July. They expect to reopen in March but by then I’ll be on my way. I’m sick of the hospitality business.’

She gave a quiet snort of laughter. ‘I keep saying the same. Then I end up working in a bar.’

‘Well, I won’t,’ he said positively, dark eyes flashing. ‘I’m working here because I need to do something while I tie up the loose ends.’ Then he became more cheerful as he told her about the outdoorsy instructor courses he was to take, calling up a website on his phone to show her pictures of people in backpacks and helmets. While he waxed enthusiastic, Lily found herself relaxing, listening to him talk about hill walking and kayaking rather than what he might have overheard.

Until he moved the conversation on. ‘So you have a brother as well as a sister? Does he live locally?’

Lily half-dropped her mug, splashing the dregs of her coffee down her jeans. ‘Sorry!’ she gasped. She used her sleeve to mop the splashes from the table. Doggo trotted over and licked up the splashes on the floor. ‘What do you mean?’

He was staring at her warily. ‘Um … I thought I heard your sister mention a brother. Sorry if I got it wrong.’

She polished at the table some more with her now damp sleeve. She’d almost prefer he’d heard the bit about asking out the hot boss rather than this. ‘You didn’t get it wrong,’ she admitted reluctantly. ‘I have two half-brothers. Do you—’ She regarded him anxiously. ‘Do you mind not mentioning them in the village though?’ Her tummy turned over at the thought.

‘If that’s what you want,’ he replied uncertainly. Rain or hail flung itself at the window anew, making Doggo growl. Now still didn’t seem like a good time for Lily to leave but she began to wish she hadn’t allowed herself to be ushered up here for coffee. She should have run into the pub and sheltered for a bit … though she wouldn’t have wanted Zinnia to follow her in there and run her mouth off.

A sigh rasped through her like physical pain. Now she’d made such a dramatic appeal, she’d have to explain it so that he understood how vitally important silence was. ‘Thanks,’ she said quietly. ‘As the relief manager, I think it’s probably best if you have some insight into the story. Zinnia’s getting agitated and uncontrolled. She’s badgering me here at work, as you’ve seen. My family’s non-conventional, as I told you.’

‘Because you have two mums.’ He nodded.

‘Exactly.’ She paused to gather her thoughts, gazing at the table top. This wasn’t a subject she discussed much outside of her family. ‘The trouble is that Zin was conceived by artificial insemination and the anonymous donor gave—’ her cheeks burned ‘—what he gave knowing what he was doing. But my mum, she had an affair and I was conceived. It was only when she ended the relationship that she understood how badly she’d used him. He’d fallen in love with her – he was older and maybe she’d thought he was past all that – and he was gutted. She never told him about me because she saw how unforgivably she’d messed with his life. He had a wife and two sons who were sixteen and twenty-one at the time.’

Isaac was silent, his gaze sympathetic.

She tried to laugh but it emerged brittle and hard. ‘Zin and I are only three months apart. It caused remarks all through school. Though we consider ourselves sisters others considered us stepsisters as we have no blood tie and different surnames. Thing is, there’s no manual on how to be a child from a same-sex relationship. I feel I’ve missed out on half of my family but Zinnia’s the opposite and says she’s got two amazing women as parents and has no need to know her sperm donor.’

For several moments she fell silent. The rain continued to pound and Doggo yawned and stretched out against the radiator. ‘Mum let me think my father was a one-night stand,’ she continued eventually. ‘Then I caught her crying over his obituary and in the emotion of the moment, she told me.’ She shook her head. ‘I felt gutted, cheated, and the only way I could think of making it up to myself was to try and find my half-brothers. It was a compulsion.’

Her eyes prickled and she realised it was a relief to be able to talk about it with someone other than her family. ‘I found my eldest brother straight away via the internet. I know where the other one is but I haven’t met him, his wife or two kids.’

Isaac had apparently become too invested in the story to listen in silence any longer. ‘What did the one you’ve met say to finding out he had a half-sister?’

‘Nothing,’ she admitted frankly, feeling the familiar snake of worry. She had to pause to swallow. ‘Because of something very specific I heard him say I know that if I tell him he could refuse to have anything to do with me. So I’m not brave enough to try.’

She propped her head on her palm. ‘It’s a mess. My parents are worried. Zinnia’s got all pugnacious, scared of having to share me. She can’t stand not knowing. She wants me to choose her, I suppose, as if it were a competition. It’s like a new, prickly Zin has turned up in my life and I’m feeling pressure to leave the village but not until—’ she hesitated ‘—until I’ve met the other brother. I’m resentful that Zin’s being difficult but also feeling guilty because I’m scaring her. And my mums too,’ she added fairly.

‘Wow,’ he said.

She glanced at him. ‘So I hope you see why it’s important that you don’t mention my brothers to anyone. I think whether they ever learn who I am is up to me.’

To her relief, Isaac nodded understandingly. ‘Of course.’

Chapter Six

Tuesday morning. Bleurgh. Isaac was making notes to help his accountant sort out the Juno’s VAT and tax situation. When his phone sounded an alert he stopped to read a text from assistant manager Tina.

Vita should be on with Andy and me tonight but she has a tummy bug. Baz has plans and Lorna can’t get childcare so have asked Lily to come in and Vita will take Lily’s shift on Friday.

Isaac returned, Thanks for letting me know and for sorting it out. Andy, in his late fifties, had taken early retirement from whatever his job had been and worked part-time in the pub. Well … worked? He certainly enjoyed being behind the bar, but leaning on it, talking to the punters – all while getting paid. When Isaac had gently challenged him on it the first time they were on shift together he just laughed. ‘All learned from our glorious leader!’

Prickled, Isaac had raised eyebrows. ‘If you’re referring to Mr Tubb, he’s entitled.’ As the subtext was plainly ‘And you’re not’, Andy had taken a huff and had since only accepted shifts on Isaac’s days off.

He looked forward to seeing Andy’s face when he discovered tonight that Isaac and his family would be eating at the pub. His parents hadn’t seen The Three Fishes yet. His mum had never been completely on board with his relationship with Hayley because of the age gap yet had reacted with exasperation rather than sympathy when the end had come. Exasperation was probably his mum’s normal state. His dad suffered from ME and Isaac supposed that she hadn’t expected to greet her sixtieth birthday having been his carer for a decade and living on benefits.

He hoped Lily wouldn’t mind working with lazybones Andy. What a troubled story she’d told him last night. For the weeks he’d known her a sunny smile had been her default expression but last night worry had puckered her forehead and drawn down the corners of her mouth. It had tugged at Isaac’s heart.

He turned back to his notes, trying to pull together everything the accountant needed. Apart from the accountant’s bill, HMRC was his final creditor. As soon as the ‘closed’ notices had gone up at the Juno he’d satisfied his payroll and other creditors and sold fixtures and inventory so he had a reasonable idea of what he was worth, which was a whole hell of a lot less than he used to be worth, but he was not sure where he was emotionally. That was harder to determine.

When Flora phoned Isaac at six thirty in the evening his paperwork had prevented him managing the trip into Derbyshire he’d hoped for, but at least he’d managed to walk the circuit of the bridleways around the village twice, which totalled over six miles according to his app.

‘Hey!’ Flora breezed. ‘We’re in the pub car park.’

‘On my way down,’ he responded. ‘Has Dad got his chair?’

‘No, he’s having a good day and says he’s OK on his stick.’

Isaac pulled on his jacket and, closing the door to his rooms behind him, ran downstairs and out of the back door. Spotting Flora waiting beside her aged Ford Mondeo in the car park lights, he gave her a quick hug.

She hugged him back. ‘If you can help Dad, I’ll bring Jeremy and Jasmine.’

‘Yep, great,’ he agreed.

But his mother, Stef, was first out of the car. ‘Evening, Isaac,’ she said, pulling her coat close around herself and shivering. ‘Blimey, it’s parky. Nothing to stop the wind, out here in the sticks.’

‘True.’ He gave her a hug, glad to see her even if he knew this was probably the first of many complaints he’d hear this evening, then went around to the other side of the car in time to help his dad to his feet. ‘Hi, Dad. How are you doing?’

‘Much as usual, thanks,’ puffed his dad. Unfortunately, ‘usual’ for Ray O’Brien was weak and exhausted since ME had ravaged his body and made him prone to infections and depression. But he gave Isaac a smile and told him it was good to see him as he leaned on his arm for the short walk to the pub’s front door.

Flora’s kids, four-year-old Jasmine and six-year-old Jeremy, were leaping from the car, trying to evade Flora’s guiding hands, shouting, ‘Uncle Isaac, we’re going to eat dinner at your pub!’ And, ‘Have you got burgers?’

Isaac grinned at their excited faces haloed with brown curls. ‘We might have burgers for good children. Not sure about you though,’ he added.

‘We’re good!’ they chorused. Jeremy usually fitted that description but Jasmine greeted mischief with open arms whenever she met it. Isaac had missed them after he’d left Flora’s for The Three Fishes.

He led the party into the warmth, exchanging greetings with regulars such as Lily’s friend and landlady Carola with her boyfriend. Lily and Andy were working behind the bar. Lily smiled while Andy pretended he was too busy serving to have noticed Isaac coming in.

Ray looked pinched by the time he released Isaac’s arm and dropped down into his seat in the dining area. ‘I’ll keep my coat on till I just warm up. Lovely in here, boy, isn’t it?’ He gazed around at the tinsel on the beams and baubles fixed to the old stone walls.

‘It’s a nice change.’ Isaac hooked his own jacket around a chair, making sure he got one that gave him a view of Andy, now leaning on the bar and chatting while Lily pulled pints. Andy realised he was being watched, straightened up and moved slowly in the direction of a waiting customer, still talking.

Isaac’s mum took the seat between Isaac and Ray, leaving Flora and the children to sit together on the other side of the table. ‘I cannot comprehend why you gave up Juno Lounge for this little place,’ she said, proving the visit to rural life hadn’t softened her up much. ‘Were you just in a mood because of Hayley?’

‘The relationship with Hayley ended afterwards,’ Isaac pointed out. He’d made it sound like he had a choice about letting the Juno go so as not to worry his parents. Better his mum make a few caustic ‘cannot comprehend’ remarks than worry about him losing a heap of money.

‘Still, it’s nice that folk talk to you when you come in,’ she said, as if realising she’d been unnecessarily negative.

The children claimed her attention and Isaac noticed Andy nattering again while Lily flew around taking up the slack. Trying not to keep watching Andy as Tina appeared behind the bar to serve too, Isaac transferred his gaze to Lily as she grabbed an order pad and approached their table with a cheery, ‘Evening!’ to Isaac and a smile for everybody else. ‘Hello! I’m Lily. May I give you your menus?’ She passed out the folded cards, then said to Flora, ‘Would the children like some colouring things?’

‘Thank you!’ said Flora, smiling, while Jasmine and Jeremy said, ‘Yes!’ loudly and Stef said, ‘I think you mean yes please, don’t you?’ And, ‘Thank you, dear,’ to Lily.

Menus were perused while Lily fetched small paper carrier bags for Jeremy and Jasmine, who took out small boxes of crayons and colouring booklets and began to discuss the pictures.

The adults tried to converse above their heads but it was stilted. Flora and Dad were complimentary about the menu while Stef kept looking around commenting how small everything was compared to the cavernous Juno Lounge with its mezzanine at one end and giant light fixtures dangling from the beams high above.

‘Tell us how you’re getting on,’ she demanded of Isaac, turning her gaze onto him. ‘We’ve hardly seen you these last few months. You’re temporary here, aren’t you? Will you be working all over Christmas? Or do you shut Christmas Day? Surely no one needs to be at the pub on Christmas Day – they should all be home with their families.’ Her tone suggested that Isaac should be with his family too.

Isaac had avoided his parents during the crisis at the Juno and in its immediate aftermath from a wish not to worry them, so he went straight to the question of Christmas. ‘Whether my job lasts as long as Christmas Day isn’t quite decided because the owner’s in Switzerland and hasn’t been cleared to come back to work. I think I’m likely to stay on into January.’ Isaac became aware that Lily, passing out menus at the next table, had stopped to glance at him. ‘The pub does open on Christmas Day and lunch is in the diary,’ he went on. Lily’s eyes widened before she returned her attention to her other customers.

Stef’s eyes reddened. ‘I’d just hoped that with Hayley out of the picture we’d have a proper Christmas with you this year.’

Isaac chose not to pick up on her slightly barbed comment about Hayley, understanding that his mum must be fed up with the way things were going in her life. Fifteen years ago, before Ray had become ill, they’d had good jobs and a roomy farmhouse to live in. They’d both worked on the farm, Ray working tirelessly in the fields and Stef providing meals for the farm workers and looking after the chickens and their few cows. Now Stef and Ray lived in a small house on an estate on the edge of a city. There was never enough money. No nice things. Stef, though she tried valiantly to hide it from Ray, chafed. She didn’t mean to take it out on everyone around her but picking fault was free entertainment.

‘Sorry, Mum,’ he said, meaning it. ‘I’ll do my best but there has to be a licensee near enough to call on. It’s the law.’

Before Stef could reply, Lily turned to their table. ‘Are we ready to order?’

‘Burger, chips and a b’nana,’ Jasmine requested promptly.

Lily grinned as she wrote it down. ‘Shall we save the banana for your dessert? Just have burger and chips for now?’

Jasmine beamed and nodded and Lily noted everybody else’s wants briskly. Her hair today was plaited down the back of her head and looped in a shiny band. ‘I’ll bring your drinks right over.’ And she whisked away, disappearing through the counter flap in the direction of the kitchen.

‘Nice girl,’ observed Ray. Isaac was glad to hear him volunteering even such a short comment. He spent so much time inside himself, zapped by chronic fatigue. Generally, he reserved what energy he had for fighting his latest health crap.

Isaac turned back to Stef. ‘This may be my last Christmas in the licensed trade. I’m looking for a more fun career.’ And he told them all about the courses he’d booked to open the door to jobs in the fresh air.

Stef listened with visible interest. ‘Will it mean you being home next Christmas?’

Isaac laughed. ‘I will if I can.’

The drinks arrived, Lily wielding her tray as if it were a part of her. Jasmine and Jeremy dropped the crayons they’d been beginning to bicker over and fell on their Fruit Shoots with cries of, ‘Yeah!’ and ‘Yummmmmmm!’

After a couple of appreciative sips of white wine, Stef turned back to Isaac. ‘So all we need is you to settle down and give us more grandkids.’

Isaac refused to be ruffled. He gave Jasmine and Jeremy a pointed look. ‘You have the best grandkids in the world already.’

Stef regarded them fondly, gently easing the Fruit Shoot bottle from Jasmine’s hand. ‘Don’t drink it all at once, lovie, or you won’t have room for a lovely burger.’ She turned back to Isaac. ‘But we need some more to carry on the name. Jeremy and Jasmine’s surname is Scrivens, like their dad.’

‘But there must be plenty of O’Briens in the world,’ Isaac objected. As he was neither on duty nor driving tonight he’d ordered a pint of Amstel and he took a long draught of it.

‘But not our family,’ Stef pointed out. If she’d stopped there then Isaac would happily have let the conversation drift onto other topics and felt that things were going OK. However, Stef obviously couldn’t resist harking back to exactly what had caused discord between them for the past several years. ‘Trouble was,’ she said, ‘you spent all that time with Hayley and kids weren’t on the cards, with her being a decade older than you.’

Lily had returned to the next table to serve drinks, chatting as she did so.

Perhaps out of embarrassment that she’d probably overheard, Isaac found himself saying tartly, ‘It was nine years and, next time, I promise to find a brood mare.’ Then he felt bad for letting his annoyance show and laughed, slinging his arm around his mum to give her a hug. ‘Hayley could have been younger than me and we might still not have had kids. People do make that choice. Anyway, as we’ve split up, it’s a good job we didn’t have any.’

Then he saw Flora’s startled and hurt expression and cursed himself for being a thoughtless prat. He definitely needed to put a brake on his mouth. ‘I’m just going to check on something.’ He sought sanctuary by going behind the bar and out into the back. He was checking his phone for messages when Lily bustled in behind him carrying a pile of dirty crockery.

‘Hello,’ she said, sounding surprised to encounter him there. ‘Something wrong?’

He looked up from his inbox. ‘Me. I’m finding nothing to do for a couple of minutes while I work out how to apologise to my sister for being negative about single parenthood when she’s a single mum and I love her kids to bits.’

She took a step towards the kitchen. ‘They’re lovely children.’

He agreed. ‘And Flora’s coped brilliantly since she discovered her ex-husband was using scuzzy dating sites while still married to her.’ He stopped, wondering what made him tell Lily things.

‘That’s awful,’ Lily exclaimed. Then added, ‘Dating sites aren’t all scuzzy though.’

He cringed. ‘Crap. Have I just insulted you too? If you use dating sites then I’m sorry—’

‘Not me,’ she reassured him with a grin, moving off towards the clatter of the kitchen. ‘But look at Carola and Owen all loved up. They met on a dating site and Carola’s one of the least scuzzy people I know.’

He slid his phone back into his pocket, saying drily, ‘I’m sure their site was respectable and allowed a lot of people to find love. But the one Billy used wasn’t respectable and it allowed him to find extra-marital sex.’

She wrinkled her nose and resumed her course for the kitchen while Isaac, having given himself a timeout and a talking-to, made his way back into the bar. Unfortunately, the first thing his gaze lit on was Andy leaning on the bar and chatting. Beside him Tina served one customer while several others waited their turn.

Isaac’s bad mood found an outlet. He came up behind Andy and said in his ear, ‘Got a minute, please?’ and turned on his heel.

After a few seconds Andy followed him into the back area wearing an expression that was both pugnacious and defensive. Isaac got straight to the point. ‘It’s great you’re on friendly terms with so many villagers and I’m sure that’s an asset to a village pub. However, you need to serve as well as talk, I’m afraid. I’m sure you don’t mean to leave the work to others, but that’s what’s happening.’

Andy turned away dismissively. ‘Don’t worry about it, young man.’

‘Andy!’ Isaac’s voice cracked out so loudly that Andy swung around in surprise. He spoke his next comments softly in contrast. ‘Mr Tubb has left me in charge.’

The older man began to bluster. ‘Harry Tubb’s been my mate just about all my life. He trusts me.’

‘In that case,’ Isaac said deliberately, ‘you’re letting him down.’

Face turning a dull red, Andy stalked over to where the staff members hung their coats and snatched his down. ‘You can take my name off the rota until Tubb gets back.’

‘Noted.’ Isaac watched while he struggled into his coat, saw him from the premises and strode back into the bar area. Quietly he said to Tina, ‘Andy’s going home and says he’ll be off the rota until Mr Tubb returns. Can you and Lily manage, or shall I give you a hand?’ From the corner of his eye he watched Lily race past with a plated meal in each hand.

Tina rolled her eyes. ‘We’re OK for now. I’ll give you a shout if we get desperate.’

‘Great.’ Isaac had made a mental note to gently challenge Tina tomorrow on why she hadn’t had a word with Andy herself but decided to leave it for now. Lily was quick and Tina, although she looked as if she strolled everywhere, got work done. Then, as he turned, he saw, waiting for him at the counter flap, his sister.