Pushing The Limits

“Do I?” he asked. “I think I might be able to hold you for this moment, but I’m far from catching you, Jess.”

“Jess? I don’t believe I gave you permission to call me that,” she said.

“Lady, we’re nearly naked in a lake together. I’m pretty sure you’ve given me permission,” he said.

“For what?” she asked, her tone challenging.

What was going on in that head of hers? She’d said earlier that she was lonely, admitted to what he had already guessed, but now she didn’t seem lonely. It was as if being in the lake had grounded her.

The way that he felt when he was in zero-g, even in the simulator. It made everything clearer when he couldn’t control even the simplest things. Was it the same for her?

“Another kiss. That’s the only thing I want from you right now,” he said. Her lips were full and wet from the lake and the water.

“One more kiss?” she asked. “I doubt that will satisfy either of us.”

“Agreed,” he said. “But it’s a start.”

She spread her fingers against the side of his face and ran her hand over his scalp until she held the back of his head. She drew him forward and then scissored her legs to lift herself out of the water. Their lips met and an arch of pure electricity flashed between them.

His cock hardened further and nudged her thighs. His arm around her waist tightened, and for a second, he stopped treading water.

Then he tucked her against his side, lifted his mouth from hers and side-stroked them both to shallower water where he could put his feet down on the muddy bottom of the lake. The water came up to her shoulders.

Safe.

They were as safe as he could make them in this moment. Her strong legs slipped around his and he felt like he’d found something in Jessie that he hadn’t been aware he’d been searching for.

It was the last thought he had before he lowered his head, brushing his lips over hers again.

A jolt of adrenaline and lust went through him again and he tangled one hand in her wet hair, pulling her head back so he had a better angle for the kiss. He thrust his tongue into her mouth, feeling her tongue brush over his. Her hand on his head tightened, the other stroked his chest. She squeezed his pectoral muscle before letting her hand drift to his hip. She reached behind him, cupping his butt and drawing him closer to her.

He pulled his head from hers and looked down at her. Her eyes were half-closed, her lips swollen and parted. Her hair drifted out behind her on the surface of the water. And he felt something inside him change.

He couldn’t identify it but a part of him knew this kiss was different. Jessie was different. He held her with one arm around her waist and lifted her slightly until her breasts were revealed.

He caught his breath, watching her as she put her hands on his shoulders and then arched in his arms.

Her breasts were thrust upward and forward to him, and he groaned, lowering his head toward one of her nipples. She lifted one hand, pushing it through his wet hair as he licked her nipple and suckled at it through the flimsy bra.

Her legs came up around his waist, and she used her strength to hold herself wrapped around him.

The tip of his erection rubbed against her center and he heard her breath catch. She moaned, and the birds on the shore answered the sound. They were one with each other and the lake.

She slipped her arms around his neck, pulling close so that he couldn’t tell where his body ended and hers began. She awakened a hunger in him for so much more than just kisses. But he never wanted to lift his mouth from hers.

He caressed her long back. She had a lean torso with a nipped-in waist. He squeezed her hips and slid his hands lower to cradle her behind. To be honest, her figure was the first thing he’d noticed about her at the party. Her ass was world-class and he’d wanted to cup her cheeks and hold her against his body. And now he could.

His tongue tangled with hers and she sucked on it before leaning back, loosening her arms so she could rest her forehead against his. Her eyes were closed and each of her exhalations brushed over his jaw and neck. She returned her hands to his shoulders as she opened her eyes and he felt her gaze searching his.

It was as if they were made for each other. She was taller than most women and fit him better.

He liked the feeling of her pressed against him. He ran his fingers along the small of her back, saw the gooseflesh spread on her arms and felt her nipples tighten even more against his chest.

She made him forget everything else.

He shifted his hips and rubbed himself against her. The tip of his cock started to slide inside of her. He pulled his hips back before he went any further. Damn.

He didn’t want to have to think, because she felt so good in his arms, but he lifted his head before the push of lust drove him any further. He was afraid to speak and break the magic of this moment. Of this night.

In that moment he had his answer. He had to talk to her. This woman wasn’t his for just one night. They were both on the Bar T Ranch working at the Cronus facility for the next six weeks.

He couldn’t screw her and then pretend nothing had happened, because she was different. She made him different.

He put his forehead on hers and closed his eyes, thinking of anything that would cool the lust raging through him. He couldn’t just be; he needed to be better.

“Are you on the Pill?” he asked.

He was healthy as a horse and tested often for everything under the sun. He was pretty sure that Jessie was healthy, as well, so at issue for him was the fact that he’d be leaving for a long-term mission in space. He didn’t want to leave behind any surprises. Not because he got carried away in the lake with Jessie.

“What?”

“Are you on the Pill?” he asked.

She wedged her arm between them and he let her go. His body was cooling down rapidly now that she was a few feet from him.

“I am. But damn, how did that escalate so quickly?” she asked. “I’m not... I can’t... I... Fuck. I’m sorry, Hemi. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m not really myself.”

He nodded.

Be cool.

But he didn’t feel cool. He was on fire for her. Obviously her reaction was helping to give him some perspective, but another part of him wondered why something that had felt so damned right to him was making her run away.

She did that a lot, he realized.

She functioned best by retreating when she didn’t want to deal with something—or, more specifically, someone.

Him.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said. “I know it’s not okay and I turned you on and then—”

“We turned each other on, Jessie. I don’t know how things got that hot that quickly, but they did. No denying it.”

She nibbled on her lower lip and he closed his eyes. Watching her was only keeping him in a state of semi-arousal. He turned and waded toward the dock. He heard her swimming behind him but didn’t allow himself to look at her until he’d forced his wet body into the gym pants he’d discarded minutes ago.

He could tell she was behind him, getting dressed, and only when he heard her sit down did he turn to face her. She had retreated inside of herself again and he knew he had to let her go.

She stood up as he reached for his shoes, and their hands bumped. They were so close to each other, he couldn’t help himself. He put his hands on her jaw, feeling the wet strands of her hair against the backs. He traced the shell of her ear as he leaned in and kissed her. Not with raging passion but with affection. He kissed her with all the longing in his soul because walking away from her wouldn’t be as easy as he knew it should be.

They’d just met, but it didn’t feel like that. He wanted to say he knew her but he knew only what she’d let him see—and probably a few things she hadn’t meant to reveal.

“I’m sorry things got carried away.”

“I’m not. I thought...well, I’m not ready for this, Hemi. I have a class to teach and you’re going to be one of my students and...”

“You don’t need one of your pupils all hot for teacher. I get it.”

She put her hands on his chest and then slid them around his waist, hugging him close and resting her head right over his heart. He struggled to keep his heartbeat from going wild. He didn’t want to reveal that holding her made him hot.

“I’m sorry.”

She pulled away from him and picked up her shoes, walking up the dock and toward the instructors’ cabins. He followed her. His father had drilled it into him that a gentleman always saw a lady home.

He kept his distance, though, because he knew she wanted to be alone.

He’d let her go. He was here for a reason. His sole determination and focus should be on getting onto the crew of the first Cronus mission.

But as she climbed the two steps to the porch of her cabin and unlocked the door, she glanced back over her shoulder at him. He stood there. Waiting.

There wasn’t anything for either of them to say.

He didn’t understand, couldn’t explain it, but swimming tonight had been the closest thing he’d felt to getting into a rocket and being shot into space.

A woman had made him feel that.

A woman who wanted to keep her distance from him.

“Good night.”

“Good night, Hemi.”

She went inside and he waited until he saw a light before turning back toward his own quarters. He glanced up at the moon, seeing how it followed him all the way back to his room. He wanted to blame his lack of sleep on the brightness of the moon, but he knew it was Jessie who kept him awake.

4

JESSIE WOKE UP before dawn on her first day of teaching. Her internal clock always got her out of bed at 5 a.m. local time. She made herself a cup of herbal tea and took it out on the deck of her cabin.

She’d trained high-endurance athletes and adventurers who wanted to pit themselves against nature, but this job felt different.

She took a sip of her tea as she settled onto the wooden chair her father had built for her when she turned sixteen. He’d painted it a bright blue, and though time had faded the paint, it was still her favorite chair. She shipped it with her possessions wherever she was currently calling home.

Propping her feet up on the railing, she looked out over the ranch lands. From her vantage point she saw a trail and the tall cedar trees with their twisting roots that were prominent on this section of the land. The trail led to the facility where she would meet her new trainees.

Well, officially.

She’d met most of them at the party last night.

Including Hemi.

His face had haunted her sleep and his questions still drifted through her mind. She wasn’t used to being aggressively pursued by a man. It had been a long time since she’d left her rarified life of risk and adventure, and been back here in the so-called real world. Except it had never felt real to her. She’d always floated along, as she had in the water last night, observing. And running away when things got too real.

But after this morning...she wanted to change. She wanted to feel something, though a part of her was very much afraid that she couldn’t.

She’d seen breathtaking wonders in the world and done most of the things people put on their extreme bucket lists. And a part of her had lost the wonder that had been her constant companion as a child.

She wanted it back.

But she had no idea how to reclaim it.

For a moment last night, when she’d been in the lake with Hemi beside her, she’d had a glimpse of what could be.

She took another sip of her tea, tipped her chair back on its rear legs and looked up at the roof of her wooden porch. Spiderwebs and some scratch marks. She put the chair down on all four legs and stood on the seat, reaching up to touch the scratches. Initials.

WBT.

No doubt one of the co-owners’ relations. The Tanners’ forebears had been granted this land by the Spanish king back before Texas was a state. She wondered what those people must have felt, looking out at this land, trying to figure out how to claim it.

She heard the rhythmic sound of footsteps approaching on the trail and climbed down off the chair as a group of six Cronus candidates came jogging around the bend.

Hemi was in the lead, followed closely by two women, and then a man and two more women.

They waved at her as they continued running by. She watched them go and realized that she’d never been a part of a team. Her family had been a group of individuals and most of the adventures she went on pitted her against nature. There were other people on the same quest but she’d always been aware that she was the leader, and the responsibility she had for their safety had been heavy.

The Cronus candidates were a team. She heard them urging one another on. There were twenty-four candidates out here competing for places on the missions. And everyone wanted to be part of the first one.

She’d read the files of each of the candidates and understood that each of them was elite in some way. They also had a fire to be up there among the stars. She finished her tea and went back inside, doing a series of tai chi exercises that helped bring her peace. Then she showered, tossed her hair into a ponytail and put on khaki cargo pants and a black T-shirt.

The exercises she had designed for her students were tough. But her mandate from Dennis Lock had been to get these people ready for anything. To hone their instincts so that they would be able to survive anything that nature or failing technology put in their way. He had said that ensuring no one died in space was mission critical. She understood that.

So today she’d teach them things that she’d learned from the time she was old enough to walk. Ways of moving into a new area and assessing the potential threats, and then she’d test them. She had a mock ship interior that she’d be using along with the technical crew. Her part of the training involved using the mock ship interior and working with the crew candidates. She knew that they were going to assess the dynamics between the contenders to ensure that the first mission was a success.

She had spent a lot of time in their space suits and in the mock module herself, trying to make sure she understood what was going on. She had to teach them how to survive if their climate control was damaged and the icy cold of space permeated their ship. Though their astronaut training had already covered this, she was here to shore up their understanding of how to survive when everything went wrong.

She knew that all she could do was give them the tools they’d need to survive and she was determined they would.

Last night had been fun, she thought, as she applied sunscreen and lip balm. A sort of sweet dream. An anomaly. Today it was back to her world—teaching people to survive. Hemi, with his brash attitude, flashed into her mind and she felt a flicker of excitement. That was different—the first time in a long time that a person and not a challenge had inspired it.

Interesting. And scary. She was going to have to step away from Hemi but she had more than a few regrets at the thought.

* * *

HEMI HAD DONE his best to play it cool when he’d jogged past Jessie’s cabin that morning. But he wasn’t cool. Granted, a big part of his attraction to her was down to the fact that she was hard to get, although he knew she wasn’t playing. That wasn’t her way.

She was honest and tall and so damned beautiful he’d spent more than half the night in a semi-aroused dream state, wishing last night in the lake had ended with them together in his bed.

The memory of her full breasts pressing against the almost transparent fabric of her wet bra, her eyes bright, blond hair a halo in the light of the waning moon, was burned into his mind. It was all he saw when he closed his eyes, and the effect on him was definite, immediate and pronounced. Even running and pushing himself to his limits, his body had reacted to the thought of her. He had been in lust before. Hell, who hadn’t? But this was different. And he didn’t need lust messing up his focus.

He’d worked so hard to get where he was. He didn’t want to lose his chance to be second-in-command on the first Cronus mission because of the power of the boner. He needed to get his head back into the game.

One cold shower later he felt more in control. He leaned over the sink in his bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror. He looked at his face and tried to remind himself of everything that was important. Everything he wanted and needed to be happy in his life.

He touched the birthmark that bordered his right eye. His mother had called it his good luck charm, and this morning he’d take luck. Though he had earned everything he’d achieved, every once in a while he’d take his mom’s belief that his ancestors had marked him for greatness.

He rubbed his hand over his jaw, deciding he didn’t need a shave, and then got dressed for the day. They had a schedule that was packed with lessons and training. The Cronus team would be using a spacecraft that had been designed for the lengthy mission and they all had to learn how to repair it. They’d be traveling a long way before assembling the way station.

The way station was halfway between Earth and Mars. Each mission would add to the station, but initially it would be just minimal living quarters to support a five-man crew. The mission would last twenty months. Eighteen months would be spent just traveling to and from the station. They were tentatively scheduled for two months to assemble the station and live on it before returning to Earth.

Of course, he also had an extreme survival class in the afternoon with Jessie. Hopefully he’d be focused on the course and not the instructor. He needed to be. He’d seen how close his good friend Ace had come to being dismissed from the Cronus team because of his health, and had almost been moved into an administrative role. Dennis wasn’t taking any chances with this. They all had to be in top shape.

And that meant not lusting after a tall, cool blonde.

Shaking his head, he headed out of his quarters. The apartments weren’t too bad and Ace had recommended that all of them bring stuff that reminded them of home.

Hemi hadn’t brought much. His home was up there in the stars, so he had tacked up a poster of the area where Cronus would deploy the way station. Then he’d hung a list of his own objectives on the wall at the foot of his bed so he would see them every morning.

He ducked into the kitchen and grabbed a protein smoothie from the fridge. Walking down the hallway, he found Izzy Wolston locking her door. Her call sign was Bombshell, but behind her back some of the guys called her Ice Queen. She was a little cold at times, but she was built like a pinup girl, with a curvy body and heart-shaped face. A lot of men, himself included, sometimes got distracted by the curves and missed the keen intelligence in her eyes.

“Ready for this?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’ve been ready since we got here. The party last night felt like one big tease,” he said.

She nodded. “I heard the higher-ups wanted to give us a chance to acclimate before we got started training.”

“More like they were sizing us up,” Hemi said.

“Agreed. I think we’ve been under observation since our names were announced,” she admitted.

“Probably.”

They walked over to the training facility in silence, past the lap pool and chin-up bar in the open courtyard.

They entered the main auditorium, which would be used for all general sessions. Everyone had been given a schedule for training and it was vigorous. Hemi glanced over his, making sure he’d been given dedicated time in the observation room to analyze data being sent back by the explorer satellite from the region where they would build the way station. Part of Hemi’s role was to ensure that there were no anomalies that would interfere with the safety of the station.

The scent of fresh mountain flowers drifted on the air and a second later he spotted Jessie standing a few feet away talking with Ace and one of the nutritionists. He watched her for a long moment before forcing himself to turn away.

Down, boy, he thought, but the truth was that he really struggled not to go over there and make small talk, just to hear her voice again.

She’d gotten under his skin.

A part of him thought it had happened too quickly, but his father had fallen for his mom in a second. That was what his dad always said, that he’d seen her at a Pacific Culture Festival doing a reading of Maori mana wahine poetry. Her voice had been compelling and his father had been drawn to her. She had exuded confidence and power, and his father said he’d known she would be important to his life.

It had sounded like bullshit to Hemi. He didn’t doubt his father loved his mother, but that any woman could floor a man before he even spoke to her had sounded...well, like a tall tale. But then he’d seen Jessie last night.

At first he’d thought maybe it was because she’d been his crush as a teenager, but then, as they’d talked, the crush had disappeared and it had become about Jessie.

Jessie.

He heard her laugh and turned toward her again, took a step in her direction before he realized what he was doing. He turned on his heel, leaving the auditorium to get control of himself.

* * *

“WELCOME TO SURVIVAL TRAINING 101. I’ve read your files and seen the training you’ve already had, so I know some of you have learned some of this already. But I promise that is just the beginning.” Standing in a classroom in front of twenty-four candidates wasn’t Jessie’s ideal situation.

She felt claustrophobic, the back of her neck itchy in the nearly windowless room. Most of the facility was fortified with heavy walls. The work took place in simulators and specially designed modules. The Cronus trainees also practiced teamwork through practical ranching sessions. Jessie had seen the setup in the barn—Ace had the teams take turns every day riding the roundup, driving cattle from one pasture to another.

She glanced through the one small, heavily tinted window, trying to see the sun, and decided to put up some posters of outdoor scenes. It was the only way she’d tolerate being inside for any amount of time.

“Because of the nature of what I’m teaching you to react to, there will be times when you will be...well, surprised is the best word I can think of. And you’ll be forced to react to a situation,” Jessie said. “I can’t tell you when that will happen, but over the next six weeks there will be a number of unexpected activities that will test a myriad of skills. Some of them will be the ones I’ve taught you but they will also include standards from some of your other classes, as well.”

“Let the fun begin,” Hemi said, and the candidates in the room grinned.

“Don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m ready for something to happen,” another candidate chimed in. From her files, Jessie knew she was Isabelle Wolsten, call sign “Bombshell.”

There were mumbles of agreement.

“Great. We are going to start with extreme cold. In case you aren’t familiar with me, I’ve been on several climbing expeditions to Everest and the other nine highest peaks. Today our topic is what to do when the unexpected happens. NASA has already provided you with the training for what to do in the capsule and on your ship, but what happens when something goes wrong? How will you survive when the temperature drops unexpectedly and you are trapped without the tools you thought you had?”

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