His Texas Baby

Oh, God, why didn’t she just go home to Desert End and let Clayton take care of things here? There was plenty of work at the farm to keep her more than occupied. A barn filled with up-and-coming two-year-olds, along with a mix of older horses in training for races later in the summer.

But no, she’d chosen to come here. Because she’d known Liam would be here and she’d wanted to see him and be close to him again. Now she had to find the courage to tell him that he was going to be a father.

Swallowing the ball of emotion lodged in her throat, she turned to her left and entered stall number thirty where Blue Snow, one of her prize mares, was housed.

A slight grimace tightened Clayton’s features as he looked around at her. “Sorry, Kitty. You’d think by now she would let someone else put these things on her. But the more I tried the more worked up she was getting.”

“The last thing I want is for her to get hot and unsettled. So when she acts this way, just let her be and don’t worry about it,” Kitty instructed her assistant. “The time to start worrying is when she won’t let me put them on.”

Kitty took the pair of blinkers from him, but instead of rushing at the mare with the piece of equipment, she simply began to stroke her neck and face and talk to her in gentle, soothing tones.

“Is anything wrong, Kitty?”

Not bothering to look at him, she said, “Blue Snow is a bit high-strung. Especially when you’re dealing with her head. And I don’t have to tell you how important this filly is to me—to Desert End.”

“I know all of that. I’m not talking about Snow. I’m talking about you. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

Liam was hardly a ghost. But he’d definitely haunted her thoughts for the past six months, Kitty thought. Ever since she’d gone to bed with him and a baby had been conceived.

“I’m fine, Clayton. I was just hurrying down the shed row and got a little winded, that’s all,” she explained.

The young man, who’d worked as Willard’s main assistant for the past year, cleared his throat. “Well—uh, I noticed you were talking with Liam Donovan. Is he causing you problems?”

Kitty inwardly groaned. Liam had certainly given her a problem, all right. Just not the sort that Clayton thought. But she wasn’t about to explain any of this to her assistant. At least, not yet.

Certainly everyone could clearly see she was pregnant. But no one knew who the father was or the circumstances surrounding her condition. And so far her family and friends had respected her privacy and stopped just short of pressing her for the father’s identity. She realized that eventually questions would have to be answered; especially to the few family members she had left. But first there was Liam to deal with and she had no idea how he was going to react to her and this news. The mere thought of confronting him left her ill.

“Why would you think he’d be a problem? His horses are stabled on the opposite end of this barn. He’ll be coming and going around here just like we will.”

The grimace on Clayton’s face deepened. “That’s exactly why he might be causing a problem. He’s damned picky and yells at his hands like they were slaves.”

She bit back a sigh. “He wants the best care for his horses and demands they get it. That’s all. No one is being forced to work for him.”

Clayton snorted. “He has the attitude that his runners are royalty and the rest of us deal in cheap claimers.”

Kitty stiffened. She liked Clayton and admired his work even more. She could always depend on him to keep things going whenever she wasn’t physically able to keep up. Still, she wasn’t going to stand by and let him badmouth Liam.

“That’s not true,” she said bluntly. “I should know. Liam is an old friend of the family. Weren’t you aware?”

The man’s face turned red. “Oh. No—I didn’t. I mean, I wasn’t aware of that.”

“He and my father were very close for many years.” She didn’t add that she and Liam had been even closer. Clayton and everyone else would learn that soon enough, she thought.

“Hmm. That’s surprising,” he remarked. “I’ve heard that Donovan can be a real hard-nosed bastard at times.”

“You hear all sorts of things in this business. I wouldn’t put too much stock in it. Success breeds jealousy.”

Turning back to the mare, she focused her attention on slipping the blinkers onto Blue Snow’s head. Thankfully the animal behaved and stood quietly while Kitty adjusted and buckled the equipment.

“That’s true,” Clayton agreed. “But frankly, I’m surprised your dad saw that much in the guy. They’re two different types of men.”

No, Kitty thought, Liam was very much like her late father. Maybe that’s why she’d gravitated toward the man in the first place. It was often said that women unconsciously sought out a man with a personality like their father’s. But on the other hand, it was because Liam was so strong-minded, so driven like Will, that she was now filled with angst.

When Will and Kitty’s mother, Francine, had divorced, he’d fought fiercely for the custody of his six-year-old daughter and eventually won. She didn’t want to think that Liam might do the same with this child. She wanted to believe he was a fair and compassionate man. But this was an entirely different situation. She wasn’t Liam’s wife. Still, with every fiber of her being she longed to be a hands-on, dedicated mother to her baby.

Deciding she’d already discussed Liam enough with her assistant, she abruptly changed the subject and did her best to push the man from her mind.

“Who’s scheduled to work Snow this morning? Abby or Rodrigo?”

“Abby.”

Kitty said, “Tell her four furlongs, no more. And just because she’s wearing blinkers doesn’t mean I want her pushed. I only want to see if they’ll help keep her mind on her business.”

“You going to watch from the stands?”

She glanced at the watch on her wrist. She’d arrived here at the barn this morning shortly before five and it was now nearly eight. By the time she met Liam tonight, she’d be exhausted. But that might be a good thing, she thought dismally. Maybe she’d be so tired she wouldn’t care what sort of storm he threw at her.

“I’ll be there in five minutes,” she told Clayton, then hurried down the shed row to the nearest bathroom.

That evening Liam didn’t bother wasting time driving to his summer house to shower and change before he picked up Kitty. In a small office, on his end of the barn, he kept extra clothing and fortunately the bathroom was fitted with a tiny shower, so he made quick use of the facilities before heading down the huge barn to find her.

The day had been an extremely busy one with hardly a moment to draw a good breath. Even so, Kitty had monopolized his thoughts. Asking him to have dinner with her tonight had certainly come out of left field. She’d never made such an overture with him before. True, he’d more or less offered her a shoulder to lean on, but he’d not expected her to take him up on it.

And he could only wonder why she hadn’t reached out to him before now. She obviously wanted to talk with him about something, but what? Her father’s death and the responsibilities he’d left on her shoulders? The horses in her barn? The baby?

The baby. Ah, yes, he’d thought about the coming child all day, too. About who might be the daddy and what she planned to do once it was born. If he was the father, what would she expect or want from him? Money? Marriage? Nothing? And if he wasn’t the father? Well, that notion bothered the hell out of him, too. Making love to the woman that one memorable time didn’t give him the right to feel possessive of her or the baby. But he did. And that made him feel like a fool just asking to be hurt.

When he reached her office, he found the door open and Kitty sitting at a desk with a cell phone to her ear.

He made a perfunctory knock on the door facing, then stepped into the space that she’d already put her personal stamp upon with family photos of relatives and friends, along with several significant win photos of various Desert End horses.

The moment she looked up and spotted him standing just inside the door, she abruptly ended the conversation and lowered the phone from her ear.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt something important,” he said.

A faint smile touched her face and Liam was struck by the shadows of fatigue smudged beneath her eyes, the faint droop to her shoulders. A racehorse trainer put in long, arduous hours of work. It was tiring even for a strong, healthy man like himself. He couldn’t imagine what it must be doing to Kitty in her delicate condition. The mere thought of anything happening to her, or the child, made him inwardly shudder and he suddenly realized how very much he wanted to protect them both.

“An owner,” she explained. “You know how it is. Sometimes they worry over nothing and call five or six times a day. That was the third call today for this particular owner.”

She rose to her feet and he could see that she’d changed into a dove-gray dress that draped modestly over her growing belly. The hem struck her midcalf and brushed against a pair of black dress riding boots. Her blond hair was twisted into a knot at the back of her head and secured with a tortoiseshell clip. In spite of her obvious fatigue, she looked beautiful, even more beautiful than he remembered throughout the long winter months they’d been apart.

“Unfortunately coddling owners is a part of the job,” he replied.

She plucked up a black handbag from the corner of the desk and joined him at the door. “I’m ready if you are.”

“You might need a jacket,” he suggested. “Even though it’s the beginning of April it feels more like February out there. The evening has already turned very cool.”

After eyeing the heavy fabric of his shirt, she walked over to a tiny closet and pulled out a red woolen cape. Liam quickly moved to help her place it around her shoulders. As he smoothed the fabric against her back, he noticed that she smelled like some sort of sweet flower and just being close to her shook his senses.

“I made reservations at a seafood place,” he told her as he pushed her hands out of the way and fastened the silk frog at her throat. His fingers inadvertently touched her chin and the softness of her skin left him wanting to touch more. “I remembered that you like shrimp scampi.”

She looked up at him and suddenly her lips were quivering, her eyes misting over. “The last time we had dinner together Dad was with us. He was always with us, wasn’t he? And now—Oh, Liam, help me,” she whispered brokenly.

Raw emotion struck him in the middle of the chest and all he could do was gather her into his arms and pull her tight against him.

For long moments, he held her quietly, until she finally sniffed and tilted her head back far enough to look up at him.

“I’m so sorry, Liam. I’m—” With a tortured groan, she pulled out of his embrace and turned her back to him. “I’m sorry I’m pulling you into my misery. And I—”

He was fighting the urge to reach for her again when she whirled back to him. This time her features were twisted with agony. “I’m sorry that I have to tell you that you’re going to be a father.”

Chapter Two

Liam stared at her as his thoughts whirled at a mind-numbing speed. “Me? You’re saying I’m the father of your baby?”

Pressing a palm against her forehead, she closed her eyes. “I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. I hadn’t planned to. I wanted to wait until after we’d had dinner and …” She opened her eyes and slowly, guardedly searched his face. “What are you thinking?”

He swallowed as he tried to gather his thoughts and form some sort of coherent answer. All day long he’d been telling himself that the likelihood of the baby being his was practically nil. He’d tried to convince himself that after their one-night fling, she’d moved on to someone else, some man that had become a permanent fixture in her life. Yet deep in his gut he’d sensed that she was carrying his child. Now that she’d spoken the fact aloud an odd mixture of emotions was rushing through him, filling him with fear and euphoria.

“I’m thinking—”

His words were interrupted by the sound of footsteps directly behind him, and then a knock on the door.

“Hey, Kitty, you gonna need me tomorrow?”

Glancing over his shoulder, Liam saw Rodrigo, one of the exercise riders that Willard had used for the past few years. The young man was grinning as though he didn’t have a care in the world. And Liam suddenly wondered how it would feel to live each day without a heavy weight of responsibility on his shoulders. But from the time he’d been a very young man in high school, his father had pinned high expectations on him. Ones that Liam was still striving to meet.

Clearing her throat, Kitty said, “I need three ridden in the morning, Rodrigo. Get with Clay. He should still be here in the barn. If not—” She quickly scribbled a phone number on a scrap of paper and carried it over to the jockey. “Call him and he’ll give you the time schedule and instructions.”

Rodrigo thrust out his hand and gave Kitty’s an enthusiastic pump. “Thank you, Kitty. Thank you very much. See in you in the morning, then. Okay?”

Kitty gave him a genuine smile. “I’ll be here,” she promised.

The jockey quickly trotted off and Kitty slowly turned back to Liam.

“I think we should—” The ring of a cell phone inside her purse interrupted her in midsentence. Casting him a rueful glance, she fished out the instrument. “Sorry, Liam. Let me turn this off.”

He waited while she dealt with the phone then quickly took hold of her upper arm. “Let’s get out of here,” he muttered, “before someone else comes along.”

They left the office and walked outside to a parking area used by barn workers, trainers and their employees. Without exchanging any words, Liam helped her into the bucket seat of his plush truck.

It wasn’t until he’d driven away from the racetrack and turned onto the freeway that he felt composed enough to speak.

“I don’t understand this, Kitty. We were together six months ago! Why didn’t you—”

Her expression imploring, she looked at him. “Let’s not discuss this while we’re traveling down the freeway, Liam. I think the issue deserves more attention than that,” she said.

He suddenly realized his hands had a choke hold on the steering wheel and his breaths were coming short and fast. He had to get a grip and face this situation with sensibility, he thought. Losing his cool now would be pointless, along with making him look like a complete ass. A baby did deserve his complete attention. “All right,” he agreed. “We’ll talk over dinner.”

Thankfully, the restaurant Liam had chosen wasn’t that far from the track. In less than fifteen minutes they were inside the small eating place, seated near a window overlooking a courtyard. Darkness had fallen over the city, but foot lamps illuminated a small garden area landscaped with palms and flowering shrubs.

After the waiter left to attend to their orders, Kitty silently stared out the window. As Liam studied the lovely lines of her face, he decided the gray, gloomy weather that had moved in earlier this afternoon matched the sadness in her eyes.

Was that sadness stemming from the loss of her father or the fact that she was unexpectedly having a baby? His baby! Liam didn’t think he’d yet fully comprehended the news she’d just handed him. Yesterday he’d been a widower with nothing more than horses on his mind. Today he was going to be a father!

The idea had put his emotions on a roller-coaster ride. What if something tragic happened to her or their baby? What if something happened to rip his son or daughter away before he ever had the chance to be a father to the child, the same way it had happened seven years ago? Yet even as these fearful questions were rushing through his head, he wanted to shout with pure joy.

“I realize it’s hard for you to understand why I’ve not said anything to you about the baby before now,” she said suddenly. “But I’m not going to apologize. It wasn’t until after Dad died that I learned for sure that I was pregnant. And at that time I had other pressing things to deal with.”

Becoming a parent was a pressing thing. Or didn’t she think so? Liam wondered. He wanted to fling the question at her, but stopped himself short. Losing her father had undoubtedly turned her world upside down and now she had her pregnancy to deal with. She deserved some slack, not upbraiding. Especially from him.

Glancing around, he noticed that he and Kitty were the only two people sitting in the small alcove. The quiet coziness reminded Liam that, except for that one night they’d shared a bed, they’d hardly ever spent time alone together. And yet they were having a baby. He’d have bet the chances of that happening were less than Liam winning the Kentucky Derby.

“You’ve had one shock follow another,” he pointed out.

Her blue eyes were tinged with regret as they scanned his face. “Yes. And now I’ve given you one.” Sighing, she shook her head slightly. “Dad’s heart attack came without warning. He was always so strong and healthy. And then suddenly he was gone and my brother was away and I was faced with making funeral arrangements, watching my father being lowered into the ground and then trying to decide if I could go on with the horses. Not just Desert End horses, but those of our clients’. Without Dad, my whole world was turned upside down and I wasn’t sure I could handle the responsibility of running the farm or handling the finances. And then I found out about the baby and I wasn’t even sure I could handle being a mother.”

Her last words caused Liam to freeze inside. To think that she might have considered terminating the pregnancy chilled him to the bone. He’d already lost one child as it grew in its mother’s womb. To imagine losing a second baby was completely terrifying. He didn’t have to ponder; he already knew he wanted this child. Very much. “You mean—you considered not having the baby?”

The disbelief in his voice must have conveyed his painful thoughts because she grimaced, then once again shook her head.

“I’ve always known I would go through with this pregnancy, if that’s what you mean. But I—” Her gaze suddenly dropped to her lap. “Well, everything fell on me at once. It’s taken a while for me to come to grips and make a plan for my future—a future without Dad at my side.”

She’d had more thrown at her in a matter of days than some people had in a lifetime. Liam could understand her emotions had been thrown in upheaval. And he wasn’t here to vex her with more problems. But he did deserve answers about the baby. His baby! The reality of it continued to stun him. Since he’d lost Felicia and the baby, he’d never been able to muster any serious interest in another woman. As a result, he’d practically given up on having a family of his own. Now, in the blink of an eye, all of that had changed.

He cleared his throat, but his voice came out little more than a hoarse whisper as he spoke. “I’m grateful, Kitty, that you didn’t want to end the pregnancy.”

Her blue eyes flickered with something like relief and the sight surprised Liam. Had she expected him to be angry about her pregnancy? Or, God forbid, not want the baby? He might come across as a real bastard at times, but that was only when he was dealing with inept or uncaring stable hands. Not with the people he loved.

But he didn’t love Kitty. No. He didn’t even know her enough to love her. He liked and admired her. And he was damned attracted to her. But that was a long way from love. Besides, all of his love, his whole heart, had been buried with his wife and child. He didn’t have any left to give this woman.

“You mean you’re not upset about this?” she asked.

Liam had to admit his emotions were running the full gamut right now. Shock, fear, joy and amazement were all tumbling through him, but he could safely say that anger was not among those feelings. How could he be resentful when a child was something he’d once longed for and dreamed about?

Solemnly, he reached across the table and enfolded her hand in his. “Why would I be?”

A dark pink blush swept up her neck and over her face.

“Because that night I assured you everything was okay. And I believed it was. But the protection I was wearing slipped from where it was supposed to be. The doctor assured me that there was only a tiny chance of that ever happening. I guess a tiny chance was working against us that night.”

“Or for us,” he added. “Depending on the way you look at things.”

He was going to have a child! He was going to be a father! With each passing minute the realization was slowly and surely sinking in on him and he was amazed at how comfortable he felt with the idea. Especially when he’d spent the past six years of his life convincing himself that it wasn’t meant for him to have a family.

A wan smile touched Kitty’s lips. “I’m glad you’re not upset. Some guys wouldn’t be so—understanding.”

“I’m not some guy,” he said with distaste, then leveled a pointed look at her. “But to be honest when I first saw you this morning and noticed that you were pregnant, I figured you’d met a man and were on your way to becoming a wife.”

Her lips parted to speak just as the waiter arrived with a cocktail for Liam and a ginger ale for Kitty. After the young man had served the drinks and walked away, she gave him a halfhearted smile. “When would I have time for a man?”

Her comment caused his brows to lift slightly. She might not have spent much intimate time with Liam, but she’d definitely made their evening together count. “You had time for me.”

Curling both hands around her glass, her smile faded as she stared down at the bubbling liquid. “You and I both know that we suffered a lapse of sanity that night. We might be having a child together but we’re not a couple. We never have been.”

Even though every word she’d uttered was the truth, Liam didn’t like the way it sounded. So indifferent and casual, so uncaring. He wasn’t in love with Kitty but he did care about her. Very much. Yet he wasn’t at all sure that she reciprocated his feelings. And that made him feel like a teenager with a hopeless crush. If the situation wasn’t so serious it would almost be laughable. The only females Liam ever mooned over were fillies or mares with the potential to win a six-figure purse. It shouldn’t matter to him if Kitty held any sort of affection for him.

“I guess not,” he agreed. “But the baby has connected us. It will keep us connected for the rest of our lives.”

She sipped her drink then glanced awkwardly away from him. “Yes. I suppose you’re right about that.”

He swiped a hand through his hair, rumpling the rich brown waves. “Me, a father,” he said with dismay. “I’ve got to admit I’d already moved past the notion of having a child in my life. I had decided I wasn’t ever going to be a father.”

She studied him thoughtfully. “You’re still a young man, Liam. It’s hard to imagine you already writing off those aspects of your life.”

He blew out a heavy breath. “Can’t you? I’m sure Will told you about … well, about my family and … what happened.”

Even now, in spite of his efforts to move forward, speaking about Felicia and the baby was like staring into a dark, empty hole. His family had oftentimes accused him of trying to cling to a memory and hang uselessly on to the past. But that wasn’t quite the truth. He’d tried to forget and set his sights on the future. He’d thrown himself into his work and pushed himself to get interested in dating and women. The work had helped keep his mind occupied, but he’d never felt a flicker of attraction toward another woman. Not until Kitty. And even that had been a slow thing that had crept up on him before he’d realized it was even happening. Now that attraction had turned into a baby!

He watched her cloudy gaze drop to the tabletop. “Yes. Dad told me a few years ago about the accident. I never mentioned it to you before because—” She focused her eyes back on his face. “Well, that’s your private business. If you wanted to talk to me about it that was for you to decide. Not me.”