Jingle Bell Babies

Wanted to be alone…

Bits and pieces of a conversation he’d had with Tommy suddenly trickled through Jesse’s memory like the beginning of a rock slide. And then it all came crashing back.

Thanksgiving Day, Tommy had complained that Layla, Maya’s three-year-old daughter, was always following him. In the name of male bonding, Jesse had sympathized and told Tommy that his irritation was perfectly normal. He confided that as a boy he also had times when he needed to get away from his younger sister and brother.

“Did you go to your room and lock the door?” Tommy had asked.

Jesse had laughed at the question. He and Clay had always shared a bedroom, so there’d been no privacy there.

That’s when he mentioned his favorite “thinking spot” had been a secret cave, its location marked by a strange U-shaped tree whose roots formed the ceiling of the hideaway.

Jesse’s mouth suddenly felt as dry as dust. What he’d failed to mention to Tommy was that the last time he’d checked the cave—about five years ago—it had collapsed.

“Jesse? What’s wrong?”

Instead of answering, Jesse urged Saber down the hill.

“I really appreciate you helping out at the last minute, Lori.”

“I’m glad you called.” Lori Martin flashed a quick smile in Nicki Appleton’s direction as she peeled off her coat and hung it on a colorful, rainbow-shaped wall peg. “I worked today and missed the e-mail about the prayer vigil.”

“Reverend Garrison pulled it together pretty quickly, but when I offered to oversee the nursery tonight, I had no idea there’d be such a large turnout.” Nicki smiled and blew a wisp of curly blond hair out of her eyes. “I definitely have my hands full in here. I’ll give you a choice, though, since you came to my rescue tonight. Do you want to give the triplets their bottles or play demolition derby with the boys over there in the corner?”

The triplets.

Instinctively Lori moved toward the three infant seats arranged in a semicircle on the floor where Nicki sat. Sure enough, there were the Logan girls, a trio of adorable little blossoms dressed in various shades of pink.

She hadn’t seen them since October, when she’d volunteered to take a turn in the nursery during the morning worship service. She’d been thrilled at how much the girls had changed—but a little taken aback that the strong connection she’d felt for them hadn’t.

As a nurse who provided specialized care for premature infants, Lori walked a fine line between providing the best care possible while not letting herself get too emotionally attached. But from the moment she’d witnessed those tiny girls in the incubator, she’d fallen in love.

Maybe it was because Marie Logan, the babies’ mother, had spent more time sipping coffee and flipping through magazines in the family lounge than she had sitting next to her daughters’ cribs.

Lori tried to be understanding. It was never easy for a new mother to be released from the hospital and have to leave her children behind. But right from the beginning, Marie seemed to be consumed with her own needs rather than the needs of her daughters. She treated the nursing staff as if they were her personal servants, and her constant criticism frequently brought the aides to tears.

At the end of one particularly stressful morning, Lori took Marie aside and asked if she could pray with her. Marie’s bitter response chilled her.

“The reason I’m here is because God is punishing me for my mistakes. It’s not like He’s going to listen to anything I have to say.”

Before Lori had a chance to convince Marie that wasn’t true, the woman had fled from the room. Several days later, Marie’s body was recovered in the wreckage from the tornado.

Rumors flew around the pediatric ward that Marie had left her husband and the babies shortly before the tornado struck High Plains. Lori didn’t want to believe it, but the day Jesse Logan had arrived to take the triplets home, she’d seen the truth etched in the deep lines fanning out from his eyes.

Midnight-blue eyes that were a perfect match to the ones staring solemnly up at her.

“I’ll feed the triplets.” Lori reached for Sasha and was rewarded with a beautiful heart-melting baby grin.

Only three and a half pounds at birth, Sasha had been the smallest of the trio. She’d also fought the hardest to survive.

By the time Sasha left the hospital—a full week after her two sisters—she’d stolen the hearts of the entire nursing staff.

“Are you sure?” Nicki raised a teasing brow. “They remind me of a nest of baby birds who all want their dinner at the same time.”

“I help, too.” A bright-eyed, pajama-clad toddler drifted over and hugged Nicki’s arm.

“That’s the truth.” Nicki gave her foster daughter an affectionate squeeze. “Kasey has been a big help with the babies over the past few days.”

Lori grinned as Sasha latched on to the bottle with both hands, as if she hadn’t eaten for days. “When did you start taking care of the Logans?”

“It’s not permanent. I’ve been helping out with the girls while Clay and Jesse look for Tommy Jacobs.” Nicki’s expression clouded. “That’s why they organized the prayer vigil tonight. He’s been missing for three days and…it’s taking a toll on the family.”

Lori imagined that was an understatement. She’d heard about Tommy through the prayer chain at High Plains Community and wasn’t surprised to learn that Maya’s older brothers had taken an active role in looking for their nephew. Or that the entire congregation had reached out to the family.

“I don’t mind helping Jesse out when he needs a sitter now and then, but between Kasey and my job at the preschool, I have my hands full,” Nicki continued. “I’m not sure who is going to take over and be Nanny Number Six.”

Lori’s attention, which had been irresistibly drawn to Sasha’s tiny fingers, snapped back to Nicki.

Number six?

“Are you saying that Jesse Logan has gone through five nannies?”

“In five months.” Nicki nodded. “That has to be some kind of record.”

Lori silently agreed. And she couldn’t believe the five nannies had all been at fault. Anyone taking on the enormous responsibility of caring for triplets—and premature ones at that—would accept the job with a clear understanding of the challenges they would face.

What had happened?

A sudden image of the handsome but stern-faced rancher flashed in Lori’s mind. She couldn’t imagine Jesse being an easy man to work for.

“The last nanny Jesse fired had only been at the ranch for forty-eight hours,” Nicki continued. “She put in an application at the preschool where I teach, but was embarrassed to tell the director why Jesse had let her go. Apparently, he had a problem with the bedtime songs she sang to the triplets.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I were.” Nicki sighed. “Anyway, the word is out, and no one has responded to the classified ad Jesse put in the newspaper for the last two weeks. Clay and I are praying that the right woman comes along. Soon.”

A memory stirred in Lori’s mind but she immediately pushed it aside. It bounced back.

Not a good sign.

The day after the tornado, she’d been called in early to cover another nurse’s shift. Everyone was shaken by the news of the devastation, and with tears in her eyes, one of the nurses whispered to Lori that she’d heard Marie Logan had died.

Lori knew the triplets had no comprehension that their lives had been irrevocably changed, but she’d gone to them immediately. And while she sat next to the crib and sang to the girls, she’d felt someone’s presence in the room.

Jesse stood in the doorway, watching her.

She’d wanted to comfort him—to tell him she was praying for him—but the hard look in his eyes warned her that he wouldn’t welcome any sympathy.

As Lori slipped out of the room, she’d asked God to let her know if there was a way she could help the Logan family.

Had He waited five months to give her an answer?

Chapter Two

Discouragement gnawed at Jesse as he paused to survey the barren landscape. The frontline winds that had spawned the funnel cloud in July had left their mark on this end of the property, too.

“Jess—wait a second.”

Jesse glanced back and saw Clay dismount and reach for something in the brush.

Jesse’s heart kicked against his chest. Ever since the tornado, he’d been searching for the heirloom engagement ring Marie had left on the kitchen table that day. He’d found the soggy remains of the note and her wedding band in the rubble, but there’d been no sign of the diamond.

Several times a week for the past five months, Maya faithfully checked the community Lost and Found to see if anyone had turned it in. Reverend Garrison had even made a special announcement during one of the community meetings to let everyone know how much the ring meant to the Logan family. One weekend, he’d even brought his teenage niece, Avery, and a small volunteer crew from the youth group out to the ranch to comb a section of the property for missing items.

“I can’t believe how far a twister can carry little things like this,” Clay remarked, examining something in his palm.

“What is it?” If Clay had found the ring, he’d have told Jesse right away. Silently, Jesse berated himself for giving hope a temporary foothold.

Hadn’t he learned that particular lesson already?

“A key chain…with a whistle on it.”

Jesse was at his brother’s side in two strides. “Let me see that.”

Clay’s eyebrow shot up. “It’s yours?”

Jesse stared at the piece of plastic cradled in his brother’s palm. “It’s Tommy’s.”

“The tornado dropped it this far from town?”

The tornado. Or Tommy.

On a hunch, Jesse raised the whistle to his lips and blew.

Clay winced. “Making sure it still works?”

“Shh.” For a moment, Jesse thought he’d imagined the faint cry woven into the wind. But Clay’s sharp inhale told Jesse he’d heard it, too.

“Uncle J-Jesse?” The roots of an overturned tree moved and a familiar freckled face poked out.

When Tommy saw the two men standing there, he scrambled out of his hiding spot and barreled toward them.

Jesse swung the boy up into his arms and Tommy burst into tears.

As Clay radioed the good news to the deputy in charge of the search, Jesse settled Tommy in the saddle in front of him and buttoned him into his coat. The boy’s ragged sigh shook his thin frame and went straight through Jesse.

He still couldn’t believe that Tommy had managed to stumble upon the collapsed cave.

When the tornado had chewed its way across the property, it upended the tree that had once marked the cave’s location, but created an opening large enough for a six-year-old boy to squeeze into. Sheltering him not only from the elements but from any predators lurking in the area.

Clay had murmured something about answered prayer. Jesse hadn’t argued the point. Maybe God had stopped listening to him, but at least He had heard Maya. At the moment, Jesse could be grateful for that.

“Are you sure Mom…Maya…and G-Greg aren’t mad at me?” The words were muffled but Jesse could hear the undercurrent of worry in Tommy’s voice.

Jesse frowned. Tommy had been calling Maya and his brother-in-law “Mom and Dad” for the past few months.

“I’m sure. They’ve been worried about you….” His throat tightened. They’d all been worried about him. “And they’re going to be happy to know that you’re okay.”

“Even if I did sumpthin’ bad?”

“What do you mean?”

“I made Layla cry. Not on purpose,” Tommy added quickly. “But I don’t think they believed me. And then I heard Maya tell you there’s a problem with the ’doption. I know what that means. There’s a problem with me.”

Jesse sucked in a breath. No one could figure out why Tommy had run away from home, but now it all made sense. He’d overheard part of a conversation Jesse had had with Maya.

“Believe me, Tommy, that’s not what she meant. Everyone loves you—you’re part of the family.”

“For real?” Tommy’s chin tilted toward Jesse and the dirt-smudged face brightened.

“For real. The problem with the adoption isn’t you, champ. The problem is that it isn’t going as fast as Maya and Greg would like it to,” Jesse explained. “Trust me. They can’t wait for you to be their little boy.”

Tommy snuggled against him. “We better get back so she isn’t worried anymore. I’m glad you came, Uncle Jesse. I was getting kinda cold. And I ran out of—” he battled a yawn “—peanut butter.”

“They found him.” Nicki picked up Kasey and twirled her around in the middle of the room, much to the toddler’s delight. “Clay just called my cell phone. Tommy is fine. Tired and hungry, but fine. Maya and Greg are meeting Jesse at home.”

Lori closed her eyes and offered a silent prayer of thanks.

“I’m going to sneak into the service and tell Reverend Garrison so he can announce the good news.” Nicki spun one more wobbly pirouette as she glided toward the doorway with Kasey in her arms. “Thanks for staying to help, Lori. I’m sure you had other plans for the evening. Plans that didn’t include total chaos!”

Lori smiled but didn’t confess that total chaos was a welcome change from her silent apartment, a bowl of pretzels and the latest cozy mystery she’d picked up at the grocery store checkout.

While Nicki entertained Kasey and the other children throughout the evening, Lori devoted her attention to the triplets.

Brooke and Madison had taken their bottles and had eventually fallen asleep, but Sasha was clearly a night owl. The baby remained wide-awake, content to cuddle in Lori’s lap as they put several miles on the rocking chair.

Lori, who held and cared for babies all day, couldn’t ignore the deep connection she felt with the triplets. Several times during the course of the evening, Nicki had commented on how comfortable they seemed to be with her.

It seemed unlikely they would remember her….

Lori glanced down and met Sasha’s solemn gaze.

If she didn’t know better, she’d think that Sasha was reminding her of the promise she made to God that day.

It wasn’t exactly a promise. More like an…offer.

A suggestion, really.

“I love my job at the hospital,” Lori murmured out loud. “They need me.”

Sasha, who’d been cheerful most of the evening, suddenly let loose a heart-wrenching whimper.

The timing of which had to be an absolute coincidence, Lori decided.

“Oh, no, you don’t. That’s not fair.” She lifted Sasha higher in her arms, nuzzling the rose-kissed cheek. Encouraged by the baby’s soft chortle of laughter, Lori closed her eyes and planted a trail of noisy kisses up the baby’s pudgy arm.

Sasha’s tiny feet began to pedal rapidly inside the flannel blanket.

“Oh, really? I can find little toes, too, so you better—”

A door to the nursery snapped shut and Lori’s eyes flew open.

And there stood Jesse Logan.

His sharp, blue-eyed gaze flickered over the infant seats near Lori’s feet where Brooke and Madison slept, before moving to Sasha, who recognized her daddy and gurgled happily, waving her arms to get his attention.

Lori gave Sasha points for bravery.

How—for even a split second—could she have entertained the notion that God wanted her to be Nanny Number Six?

Jesse didn’t look like a man who needed anyone’s help.

Although there was no getting around the fact that the man was extremely handsome, the set of his jaw didn’t look as though it allowed much movement—and certainly not on something as frivolous as a smile. The silky fringe of dark hair beneath his Stetson didn’t soften features that looked as if they’d been sculpted by the elements.

“Mr. Logan.” Lori rose to her feet, gently trying to disengage her shirt from Sasha’s grip.

There was a spark of recognition in his eyes.

A thought suddenly occurred to Lori, and she lifted her free hand to her hair for a quick, exploratory search. At one point during the evening, Kasey had clipped a pink elephant barrette on the end of Lori’s braid.

Yup. Still there.

Lori suddenly wished she hadn’t run home to exchange her scrubs for faded jeans and a sweatshirt. At the hospital, there’d been a professional boundary in place. Jesse Logan—patients’ father; Lori Martin—nurse.

But now? Now she was simply a Good Samaritan. A Good Samaritan whose hair was in a tangle from being tugged on by—count them—six little hands all evening. And then Kasey had added her own special touch.

“Where is Nicki?” Jesse’s loose-limbed stride carried him across the room in less than two seconds.

Now he stood close enough for Lori to pick up the subtle, earthy scent of wind and leather that clung to his coat.

Lori wasn’t petite by any standards, but she had to tip her chin up to look at him. His height was a little intimidating. And so was his expression.

Instinctively, she tightened her hold on Sasha.

“Nicki is talking to Reverend Garrison. My name is on the sub list for the church nursery, so she asked if I was free to help her watch the children this evening.” Lori wasn’t a babbler by nature, but there was something unnerving about being with a man who didn’t waste words. Not to mention a man who didn’t seem to like to use them, either. “I don’t know if you remember, but we met—”

“I remember you.”

Okay, then.

Lori tried again. “The girls have really grown.” She couldn’t prevent a chuckle. “But they haven’t changed all that much, have they?”

Jesse’s finger flicked the brim of his cowboy hat, pushing it up. The movement chased the shadows away, revealing the full impact of cobalt-blue eyes set in a face stained a deep golden brown from the sun.

“What do you mean?” Those eyes narrowed and Lori realized he’d taken her comment as a criticism. “Their pediatrician says they’re developing on schedule.”

“I meant their personalities,” Lori explained, wondering if she’d just witnessed the same look the five nannies had seen moments before they’d been fired.

No wonder he was having a difficult time filling the position!

“Brooke still lets you know that she wants something yesterday.” She smiled down at the baby, who continued to move restlessly even in sleep. “And you know Madison is going to be the peacemaker of the group. When Brooke started crying tonight, Madison offered her own thumb to calm her down. And Sasha’s quiet, but she takes in everything around her—”

“You can tell them apart?”

Lori blinked at the terse interruption. “Can’t you?”

“Of course I can.” Clearly offended, Jesse swept off his hat and tunneled his hand through his hair. “Maddie is bald, Brooke has a birthmark on her left shoulder blade and Sasha is the smallest.”

Lori stared at him in amazement. He’d zeroed in on some of the triplets’ physical characteristics.

Didn’t the man realize his daughters had three very distinct personalities? Temperaments?

Needs?

It suddenly became important for Lori to make Jesse understand.

“It’s not just what they look like on the outside. Madison loves to be cuddled but Brooke doesn’t have the patience for it. My guess is that she’ll be the first one to crawl. Sasha is attracted to color and motion….”

Lori’s voice broke off as Jesse dropped to one knee in front of Madison’s infant seat.

Conversation over.

She’d lost him. It suddenly occurred to Lori that Jesse Logan was probably the type of man whose entire life revolved around his ranch. A man who believed that providing food and a roof over their heads made him a good father to his daughters.

The second-shift nurses had all raved about Jesse’s devotion to his children because he’d shown up at the NICU every night. That didn’t prove anything to Lori. Sitting beside their cribs could have simply been one more thing for Jesse Logan to check off his to-do list. A duty instead of an act of love.

They’ll need more, Lori wanted to protest. So much more.

Jesse’s indifference raked over debris from her past and scraped up old memories. Memories that Lori thought had long been put to rest.

“What do you want from me, Roxanne? I said I’d own up to my responsibility and I did…but that doesn’t mean I have to pretend to be happy about it….”

Lori swallowed hard and tried to shut out her father’s voice, shaken that the words sounded as clear as if he’d spoken them the day before, instead of fifteen years ago.

The room began to shrink and Lori felt an overwhelming urge to escape.

“I’ll find Nicki.” With Sasha still in her arms, Lori headed toward the door.

She wasn’t surprised when Jesse didn’t respond.

Emotions churned inside of her. How could she leave the triplets, when they needed someone who would lavish attention and love on them?

When they needed her.

She made her decision. Pausing in the doorway, she turned and looked over her shoulder…

Just in time to see Jesse cup his hands over his mouth and blow on his fingers. Warming them.

Lori’s breath caught in her throat.

And that’s when she saw it. The subtle sway of his body before he managed to balance his weight on the heels of his boots. The slight dip of his shoulders beneath the heavy coat.

Exhaustion.

The bone-deep kind that sucked away a person’s energy—chiseled holes in their perspective. The kind that stole a person’s ability to think.

And talk.

Lori’s feet felt rooted to the floor and her heart began to pound. “Mr. Logan?”

Jesse’s head snapped up and once again his face looked as if it had been carved out of stone.

Lori hoped she wouldn’t live to regret her next words.

“Are you still looking for a nanny?”

Jesse tried not to let his frustration show.

Of course Lori Martin had heard he was looking for a new nanny. The entire population of High Plains probably knew he was looking for a new nanny.

He’d fired two or three—okay, so maybe it had been five—although he wasn’t sure if he could count the last one. Just when he’d opened his mouth to say the words you’re fired, she’d beaten him to the punch and informed him that she quit. But did that mean he deserved to be treated like a pariah? The last time he’d gone to the newspaper to put in an ad for another caregiver, the woman behind the reception desk had actually laughed. Laughed.

Was it his fault that none of the nannies he’d hired had been able to do the job properly?

His sweet-tempered sister’s popularity had opened the door to a few favors. But so far, nothing permanent.

He’d been grateful to Nicki for agreeing to watch the triplets over the past few days while they searched for Tommy, but she had her hands full with Kasey, the active toddler she’d recently been granted permission to adopt.

Clay had offered to shoulder more responsibility in the mornings so Jesse could drive the girls to a day care in High Plains, but that was his last resort. And he had to make that decision in about six hours.

Pride stopped him from letting anyone see how desperate he was. Especially the young, brown-eyed nurse who’d managed to coax a belly laugh out of somber little Sasha.

He could still hear the lilt of Lori’s laughter, mingled with his daughter’s, as he’d stood outside the door of the church nursery. It had rolled over him with the warmth of a spring breeze. And the sight of her raining kisses on Sasha’s chubby arm affected Jesse more than he cared to admit.

“That’s right.” The words sounded curt, even to his own ears, but it was the best he could do.

Small talk was simply beyond his capability at the moment.

Three days of searching for Tommy, in addition to keeping up with his regular chores and getting up with the triplets during the night, had begun to take its toll. His limbs felt as if they’d been replaced with wet concrete.

Lori Martin lingered in the doorway and Jesse wished she’d go away. And not because his gaze strayed to the soft tendrils of sunset-red hair that had escaped from her braid. Or because Sasha looked perfectly content to remain in the woman’s arms.