Jingle Bell Babies

“Mr. Logan?” Lori’s heart began to pound.

Jesse’s head snapped up, and once again his face looked as if it had been carved out of stone.

Lori hoped she woudn’t live to regret her next words.

“Are you still looking for a nanny?”

“That’s right.” The words sounded curt. “I didn’t realize you were interested in the position. When can you start?” Jesse’s words were sarcastic. He must want to scare her off. He’d already fired five nannies in the months since the triplets were born.

Lori met his gaze. And smiled sweetly. She could handle him.

“Right now.”

After the Storm:

A Kansas community unites to rebuild

Healing the Boss’s Heart—Valerie Hansen

July 2009

Marrying Minister Right—Annie Jones

August 2009

Rekindled Hearts—Brenda Minton

September 2009

The Matchmaking Pact—Carolyne Aarsen

October 2009

A Family for Thanksgiving—Patricia Davids

November 2009

Jingle Bell Babies—Kathryn Springer

December 2009

KATHRYN SPRINGER

is a lifelong Wisconsin resident. Growing up in a “newspaper” family, she spent long hours as a child plunking out stories on her mother’s typewriter and hasn’t stopped writing since! She loves to write inspirational romance because it allows her to combine her faith in God with her love of a happy ending.

Jingle Bell Babies

Kathryn Springer

Special thanks and acknowledgment to

Kathryn Springer for her contribution to the

After the Storm miniseries.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope;

because of the Lord’s great love we are not

consumed, for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning.

—Lamentations 3:21–23

To Val, Annie, Brenda, Carolyne and Pat. It was an

honor to be able to work with such gifted writers.

Your cooperation, encouragement and prayer

support over the course of the summer was a real

blessing—and I love how we occasionally took

“cyber-coffee breaks” together!

Contents

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Questions for Discussion

Prologue

July 11, 1:15 p.m.

“One of the funnel clouds that touched down in the area yesterday and struck the small town of High Plains was determined to be a level F3. Already the Red Cross, local law enforcement agents and volunteers have banded together to begin cleanup—”

Jesse Logan stabbed his finger against the power button of the radio. He didn’t need to hear a reporter condense the past twenty-four hours into a neat sound bite, or try to describe the damage a second funnel cloud had caused when it slashed across the prairie, directly toward the Circle L.

Jesse had seen the devastation firsthand; he was standing in the middle of it.

The kitchen lay in shambles around him. The twister had spared the outbuildings but clipped the side of the ranch house, taking out a section of the wall, while leaving his mother’s antique china cabinet in the corner of the room intact. Glass from the shattered window littered the floor, strewn among soggy tufts of insulation and chunks of sodden wallboard.

Jesse picked up a piece of wood and was about to pitch it into the growing pile of debris when he realized it was one of the legs from the kitchen table.

His fingers tightened around it, ignoring the splinters that bit into his skin.

Yesterday morning he’d sat at the table, before going out to do his chores.

And yesterday afternoon…

A fresh wave of pain crashed over Jesse, making him wonder if he wasn’t still caught in the throes of a nightmare. Except his eyes weren’t closed.

The crunch of tires against gravel momentarily broke through his turbulent thoughts. For a split second hope stirred inside his chest as he sent up a silent prayer that the car coming up the driveway would be a familiar one.

It was.

The hammer slipped out of Jesse’s hand and grazed a crease in the hardwood floor as the High Plains squad car stopped in front of the house. Colt Ridgeway’s tall frame unfolded from the passenger side.

As the police chief approached, the stoic set of his jaw and the regret darkening his eyes told Jesse everything.

No. No. No.

“This is going to be hard for you to hear, Jesse.” His friend’s quiet words barely penetrated the rushing sound in Jesse’s head. “Late this morning…found Marie’s vehicle…tree fell on the driver’s side…”

Like a child, Jesse wanted to press his hands against his ears and shut out the truth.

Where are You, God? Are You even listening? How much more do You think one man can take?

The silent cry burst out of a place deep inside him.

Hadn’t he gone through enough?

“Marie must have been trying to outrun the tornado,” Colt continued softly. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Jesse. Sorry for you…and your girls.”

Jesse couldn’t answer. Couldn’t tell Colt the truth. Not yet. That his wife hadn’t been trying to outrun the tornado—she’d been running away. From him.

When the driving rain had forced him to abandon his chores the day before, he found Marie’s note on the kitchen table. Next to it, the simple gold wedding band and diamond engagement ring he gave her the night he proposed. An heirloom that had been in the Logan family for generations.

He’d had to read through his wife’s letter twice before the meaning sank in but the words had remained branded in his memory.

Jesse,

I have nothing left to give. If I stay on the ranch, I’ll never become the person I was meant to be. You were the one who wanted a family, so I’m leaving the babies with you. I’m going back to Kansas City and I’ll contact you when I’m settled.

Marie

The storm bending the trees outside hadn’t compared to the one raging inside of him.

Frantic, Jesse had immediately called the nurse’s station in the Manhattan hospital, where their premature triplets had been in the NICU for the past two months. The nurse had verified that Marie hadn’t shown up that afternoon to sit with the girls.

He braved the weather to drive to the hospital anyway, hoping that his wife had had a change of heart and gone there instead of the airport.

She hadn’t.

Jesse stayed with his daughters the rest of the evening, waiting for a phone call. It wasn’t until one of the nurses on duty had asked him if his ranch was located near High Plains that he learned about the tornadoes.

Unable to get through to his hired hands or his sister, Maya, Jesse spent a sleepless night in the family lounge and most of the morning waiting for the state police to remove the barricades from the roads.

When he was finally able to return to the ranch, Jesse had gone from room to room, calling Marie’s name. Praying that news of the storm would have fanned an ember of concern in her heart and brought her home. If not for him, then for Madison, Brooke and Sasha.

At the thought of his precious girls, Jesse was struck by an overwhelming desire to hold them again.

“I have to get back to the hospital.” He pushed past Colt.

“Jesse, wait. Don’t be stubborn.” Colt put a restraining hand on his arm. “You’re in no shape to go anywhere. Let me call someone for you.”

He immediately thought of his younger brother, Clay, but he shook the image away. Colt was right. He wasn’t thinking clearly.

His sister, Maya, should have been the one who came to mind first. Not Clay. Clay had shirked his responsibility to the ranch and the family years ago.

If his brother hadn’t even bothered to call when Maya had told him Jesse’s triplets were struggling for their lives in the NICU, what made him think Clay would be here for him now?

In that respect, Marie and Clay had been alike. Both of them ran away when things got hard. Jesse knew it was up to him to pick up the pieces. Alone. Again.

He swallowed hard against the lump lodged in his throat. “I’ll call Maya,” he managed to rasp.

“Jesse…” Colt frowned.

Don’t say it, Jesse thought. His self-control was hanging by a thread. He couldn’t think about his own grief though, he had to think about the three babies he’d left sleeping peacefully in their cribs only a few hours ago. He had to keep it together. For his daughters.

As if Colt could read his mind, he nodded slowly. “I understand. And don’t worry about the…arrangements right now, Jess. Take as much time as you need.”

The automatic doors parted as Jesse reached the front of the building. He’d spent so much time at the hospital over the past eight weeks that many of the staff knew him by name. Two volunteer auxiliary workers stopped talking and nodded solemnly when he passed the information desk.

He’d only taken a few steps down the corridor when a man stepped out of the cafeteria and intercepted him.

“Jesse.”

Jesse froze at the sound of the familiar voice, although he barely recognized his father-in-law. The deep lines in Philip Banner’s face and the haunted look in his eyes told Jesse he already knew about Marie’s death.

Instinctively, Jesse extended his hand to grasp his father-in-law’s, but the man stepped away, rebuffing the overture.

Jesse flinched. Philip had never bothered to hide his disapproval. As one of the state’s leading prosecutors, Marie’s father had had high hopes his only child would marry well. A cattle rancher from Kansas didn’t fit his model of the ideal son-in-law. Philip and Sharon had kept in close touch with their daughter after the wedding, but barely acknowledged Jesse’s existence.

Jesse had hoped his in-laws would soften when they found out they were going to be grandparents, but if anything, the news had made them more resentful. Instead of anticipating the girls’ arrival, Sharon seemed to blame Jesse for Marie’s difficult pregnancy.

“Have you seen the girls yet?” It occurred to Jesse that Philip and Sharon may have come to the hospital for the same reason he had. To hold the triplets and try to find some comfort in knowing that a part of Marie lived on in her daughters.

Philip ignored the question. “Sharon and I need your permission to take Marie…” His voice cracked and he looked away, as if it were difficult to look Jesse in the eye.

Jesse stared at the man, unable to comprehend what he was asking. And then the truth hit him. They hadn’t shown up out of concern for Jesse. Or his baby girls. His in-laws had been close by because they’d been part of Marie’s exit plan. They’d probably made arrangements to meet her at the airport—to lend their support in case Jesse followed—before escorting her back to Kansas City.

“You want to take her—” Jesse couldn’t say the word body “—back to Kansas City?”

“We have a family plot in the cemetery.” Philip’s expression changed and now bitterness scored the words. “Marie never belonged here with you. You know that. Last week she called and asked us if she could come home. It’s where she wanted to be. It’s where she should be now.”

Home.

Jesse had a flashback of the day the obstetrician told them the ultrasound revealed they were expecting triplets.

Jesse’s initial shock had quickly changed to delight. He’d always wanted a large family. When it came right down to it, what difference did it make whether there were years or minutes between the births of their children?

And if he were honest with himself, he’d hoped that starting a family would ease the tension growing between them.

During their courtship, Marie claimed she couldn’t wait to have children, but after the wedding she’d avoided the topic. Jesse hadn’t minded it being just the two of them for a while, but Marie’s reaction when she’d found out she was pregnant had disturbed him. Overwhelmed, she’d started to cry and begged him to take her home.

He’d thought she meant the ranch.

Now, seeing the anger and grief on his father-in-law’s face, Jesse was forced to admit the truth behind Philip’s claim: Marie had never considered the ranch her home.

Jesse had lost his wife long before the tornado struck.

The words stuck in his throat but he pushed them out. “I’ll talk to the director at the funeral home. The two of you can work out the arrangements.”

Philip nodded curtly, pivoted and walked away without a backward glance. No thank-you. No mention of his granddaughters.

The little energy Jesse had left drained away. On emotional autopilot, he took the elevator to the NICU. When he reached the nursery, he heard someone singing softly to the girls.

But it wasn’t his sister.

Sitting beside the crib where his daughters slept was Lori Martin, the young, auburn-haired nurse he’d met once or twice. Jesse hadn’t gotten to know her as well as he had the other nurses, because her shift ended before he arrived to sit with the girls every evening.

The soft smile on Lori’s face and the expression in her eyes made Jesse’s chest tighten.

It wasn’t right.

Marie should have been the one singing to them. Loving them. And yet she’d left them…all of them.

Jesse’s fists clenched at his sides.

Marie was gone, but he had three reasons to live: his daughters. And Jesse decided to make sure no one would hurt them again.

Chapter One

December

“You could have given Maya some hope.”

Jesse stiffened at the sound of Clay’s quiet voice behind him.

The memory of their sister’s stricken expression had seared Jesse’s conscience. He knew he’d been out of line, but the last thing he needed was his younger brother beating him up about it.

He’d been doing a pretty good job of that all by himself.

“Maya’s been worried sick since Tommy ran away,” Clay pointed out. “All she needed was to hear you say you’d find her son and bring him home.”

“I did say that.”

“‘I’ll bring him home either way, Maya.’” Clay’s voice deepened—an exaggerated imitation of Jesse’s low baritone—as he recited the words Jesse had spoken just before leaving the house. “In my opinion, you could have left two little words out of that promise.”

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” Jesse tightened the cinch on Saber’s saddle before leading the gelding from the stall. “Is it fair to give Maya false hope?”

“Now, are you asking my opinion?”

Jesse scowled. Since Clay’s unexpected return to High Plains a month ago, his brother claimed to have changed. Jesse didn’t believe it for a second. Not when Clay still managed to get to him like a burr under a saddle blanket.

“Maya needed encouragement. Would it have been so hard to give her some instead of being…Mr. Gloom and Doom?”

Jesse felt the sting of the insult. “You’re telling me what Maya needs?”

“I know I messed up by leaving.” Clay met his gaze. “But that’s all in the past now.”

“How convenient.”

Clay’s jaw tightened, the only outward sign that Jesse’s words had found their mark. “If I remember correctly, you were always the glass half-full guy in the family.”

That was before his glass got tipped over—and stepped on.

“I can’t tell Maya that Tommy’s all right if I don’t know it’s true.” Jesse wanted to believe they’d find Tommy safe and sound. The whole family—Jesse included—had embraced the precocious little boy. Even before Maya had married Gregory Garrison, and they’d started formal adoption proceedings, Tommy had become part of the family. As far as Jesse was concerned, signing the adoption papers was merely a formality. He’d been “Uncle Jesse” for months.

But he had to deal with facts, whether anyone else wanted to or not. And the facts—that Tommy was only six years old and had been missing for three days—didn’t exactly tip the balance in their favor.

When they’d discovered Tommy had run away, volunteer search parties formed immediately, to comb the area. Colt Ridgeway even arranged for a search-and-rescue dog to aid in the effort. But the ranch’s vast acreage—ordinarily a source of pride for Jesse—had worked against them.

After Tommy disappeared, Maya had taken a quick inventory and found that he’d taken some food, his coat and a backpack. The discovery had eased their minds—for the first twenty-four hours. But as resourceful as the little guy had proven to be, a coat wasn’t enough to ward off the December wind penetrating the sheepskin lining of Jesse’s jacket. And food eventually ran out….

Jesse decided to change the subject before he said something else he might regret. “Be sure to tell Nicki that I appreciate her willingness to watch the triplets again today, while I look for Tommy.”

“She knows.” There was a glint in Clay’s eyes. “And don’t you mean while we look for Tommy?”

Jesse stepped out of the barn and stopped short at the sight of Sundance, an ornery pinto mare, saddled up and ready to go. Her pinned ears let him know she wasn’t very happy about the situation.

He hesitated, tempted to change his plan in order to watch Sundance send his brother into orbit. Maybe another time. “You remember the lay of the land. It would make sense for you to take another group out.”

“It might,” Clay agreed. “But I’m going with you.”

“I’ll make better time by myself.”

A shadow crossed Clay’s face, but then he shrugged. “Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto.”

“And Edgar Bergen had Charlie McCarthy,” Jesse muttered.

“Do I need to remind you that I’m a grown man and ‘you’re not the boss of me’ anymore?”

Hearing the familiar quip made Jesse’s lips twitch. Clay had hurled those words at him frequently while growing up. There was a reason he’d wanted to break away from the rest of the search parties and go it alone. But for some reason, Jesse found himself giving in.

The gleam of laughter in his brother’s eyes brought back memories of a time when they’d actually been at ease in each other’s company. Before Clay dove into teenage rebellion and turned his back on everything Jesse believed in.

They’d come to an uneasy truce at Thanksgiving, when Clay asked if he could move back to the ranch. Jesse guessed the request had something to do with the lovesick look in his brother’s eye whenever his new fiancée, Nicki Appleton, came into view, but some things were hard to let go of. Clay had walked away from his birthright once before. What was to say he wouldn’t do it again?

As they passed the house, Jesse saw Maya step out onto the wide front porch. Regret sawed against his conscience again. Not because he’d spoken the truth but because it had hurt his sister.

“Give her some hope,” Clay had said.

How could Jesse explain that he and hope had parted company six months ago? If the road to hope led to disappointment, what was the point?

By the time they reached the gate, Maya was waiting for them.

Jesse had to force himself to look his sister in the eye. When he did, the light he saw shining there was a far cry from the worry that had darkened those eyes earlier.

“Michael just called.” Maya no longer referred to the minister of High Plains Community Church—her new husband’s cousin—by his formal title. “He and Heather Waters are organizing a candlelight prayer vigil for Tommy this evening. He said the people who can’t physically join in the search felt led to join together and pray. I know you and Clay are going to find him today, Jesse. I can feel it. God is going to show you the way.”

Jesse tried to hide his frustration. Maya’s faith had always been her North Star, pointing toward the truth. Not too long ago, his sister’s unwavering conviction would have challenged him. Strengthened him. But now the only thing her words stirred inside of Jesse were the ashes of what remained of his dreams.

“Keep believing, Maya.” Clay came up alongside her. He leaned over the saddle and pulled her into his arms, ruffling her hair as if she were Tommy’s age. “God knows exactly where Tommy is. And you’re right. We’re going to find him. By nine o’clock tonight you’ll be tucking him into bed.”

Jesse wanted to put a muzzle on his brother. How could Clay get Maya’s hopes up like that? Was he the only person in Kansas who was willing to face things the way they were, instead of the way he wanted them to be?

Maya aimed a grateful look at Clay and her smile came out in full force. For the first time in three days.

Jesse clicked his tongue and Saber agreeably stepped forward. The minute they passed through the gate, he nudged the gelding into a canter.

Unfortunately, Clay caught up to him before Jesse’s temper had time to cool. “Was that really necessary?”

Clay didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. “Yes.”

“You shouldn’t let her hope for the best.”

“And you shouldn’t let her imagine the worst,” Clay retorted.

Hadn’t they already had this conversation?

Jesse wondered if they’d ever see eye to eye on anything.

He tamped down his anger, bit his tongue and forced himself to focus on the reason he’d teamed up with Clay in the first place.

Tommy.

After the boy disappeared, the county sheriff had organized the search, dividing up Jesse’s property on a map and assigning each group of volunteers a certain section. Given Tommy’s age and size, they’d started close to the ranch house and gradually expanded the search to include the hills and grazing land.

The teams had met back at the ranch after a fruitless search earlier that morning, and when the sheriff instructed everyone to recheck the areas they’d already searched, a shiver of unease had skated through Jesse.

Staring down at the map, he had had an overwhelming urge to scrap the grid and go with his gut. And his gut told him not to waste time covering the same ground again.

He just hadn’t expected his brother to tag along.

They rode in silence until Jesse turned his horse down a worn cow path.

“Where are we going?”

“The river,” Jesse replied curtly.

To his surprise, his prodigal brother followed without a peep. Accustomed to Clay chafing every time Jesse took the lead, he found he couldn’t let that slide. “No argument? No ‘do you really think a kid Tommy’s age could have made it that far on his own’?”

“You did.”

Jesse twisted around in the saddle to stare at his brother.

“It’s a long shot,” Clay continued. “I mean, you went to the cave on horseback and Tommy is on foot.”

Jesse’s mouth dropped open. “Cave?”

“Oh, don’t look so surprised. It wasn’t much of a secret. I followed you there all the time.”

“You followed me.” Jesse couldn’t believe it. He’d been certain the secret hiding place he’d discovered had actually been a secret.

The ranch had been his playground as a child, and he’d explored every inch of it. And not always with his parents’ permission or his siblings’ knowledge, either. At least, he thought it had been without his siblings’ knowledge.

“Of course I did.” Clay’s shoulder lifted in a casual shrug. “But I knew you wanted to be alone, so I let you think you were.”