Because of Audrey

The store covered half an acre of land and served all of the towns for miles around. Even in a city the size of Denver, you would be hard-pressed to find a better-stocked, more efficient supplier. They also rented equipment, a part of the business that used to be a going concern. Since the downturn in the economy, there was less construction. As well, homeowners no longer had the money for renovations.

There had been a spurt of construction when a new ski resort had been built outside of town, but Dad had taken his profits and had invested in risky ventures. When Gray had tried to change them to something safer, Dad had vetoed him. For a man who’d been a smart business owner for so many years, Dad’s actions these days seemed like a textbook case of how not to run a business.

Businesses suffered everywhere, including Turner Lumber. And yet, Dad was giving money away left, right and center. It had to stop. Cauterizing the hemorrhaging of money was Gray’s job.

Upstairs, he found the renovations he’d ordered nearly finished. Part of dragging Turner Lumber into the twenty-first century had been modernizing the office. Gone were the separate cubicles of old, replaced by a huge open space filled with desks and office modules. At the moment, they were squeezed into one half of the space while the floors on the other half were being refinished.

The office kept the idle lumberyard workers busy now that traffic had slowed down there. So far, Gray had managed to keep everyone on the payroll. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold out.

If he was smart, he’d start slashing now, but sentimentality kept getting in the way. Was this what Dad felt when he walked in here?

Gray stopped to talk to the office manager, Hilary Scott. She, like all the employees, wore a cotton mask over her nose and mouth.

“Here.” She handed him a mask. “You should wear it until these guys finish their work.” A frown wrinkled her forehead.

“You don’t look happy,” Gray observed. “What’s the problem?”

“The noise.”

“That’s temporary. It won’t last.”

“The dust. Look at our desks.”

A fine gray film settled over everything.

“I’ll have a cleaning crew come in on the weekend.”

Hilary sighed. “But what kind of chemicals, or even old mold, have you stirred up with this destruction?”

Gray loved language, loved how he could manipulate it to his advantage in business, but hated how it could be corrupted.

“This isn’t destruction, Hilary. This is change.”

She didn’t answer, just stood her ground like a wiry-haired bantam hen.

“In another week, things will settle down,” Gray said.

“Given how hard it is to get work done in this—” she gestured with her chin toward the open space, not the contractors and their work, he noticed “—I fervently hope it gets better.”

He barely held himself back from shaking his head. New ideas were always hard to implement. Hilary and her employees had been working with the same systems for years. “These changes should further innovation and fresh thinking.” Something Turner Lumber could use, he didn’t say aloud.

“The open concept should inspire a more communal sense of the company, and the resultant community should inspire more communication and new ideas.”

Hilary nodded but didn’t look convinced. “We already enjoy plenty of community here.”

“Then you should support an increase in that.” He had enough resistance to deal with from his dad. He didn’t need to face it here at work, as well.

“Listen, Hilary.” He sounded testy. Too bad. He was on edge and tired of facing problems everywhere he turned. “Given that you called me home to help, I expected cooperation from you.”

“I didn’t think you’d be changing everything.”

“What did you think I’d do?”

“Make it the way it was before your dad started making dubious choices.”

Hilary was as naive as Dad was. There was no salvation for the company without upgrading it, not in the current financial environment, not using strategies that were forty and fifty years old.

He entered the office he’d set up for himself in the corner to catch his breath and to prepare for his meeting with Arnold Haygood, Turner Lumber’s accountant. His area had sliding walls that opened to the larger space. Most of the time he left the walls open, keeping himself involved. When he needed to have sensitive conversations or make phone calls that he didn’t want overheard, he could slide the walls closed for the best of both worlds.

Still, that feeling of suffocation, the difficulty breathing, had followed him into the office, and had nothing to do with renovation dust or face masks.

He needed to push the deals through on the sale of the land and finish liquidating more of Dad’s assets, so Gray never had to step in here again, never again had to experience this cloying panic.

Maybe it was time to sell the company. He’d been fighting the idea, keeping it as a last resort. He shouldn’t let emotion get in the way of business, but as much as these were Dad’s people, they were also his.

Despite his current anxiety, his memories of running through this place as a child were good. He knew everyone who worked here. What if the new owners mistreated them?

Before leaving Boston, he’d toyed with the idea of selling his company there and moving here to live, not just swooping in to fix whatever was wrong, but to actually stay and run Turner Lumber. Leaving Marnie behind, though, never being able to visit her gravesite, saying goodbye yet again, this time permanently... He couldn’t do it.

Then he’d come home and all of this weird behavior had started, the panic attacks and anxiety, the suffocation.

So then he’d thought he would hire a good manager to take over. But now, with the letter from this woman, and more and more demands on limited dollars, he had to consider that maybe it was time to just sell.

Panic clutched at him again. If having Dad declared incompetent made him nauseous, the thought of how disappointed Dad would be if he sold the company rather than keeping it and running it himself as part of his heritage made him positively ill.

“Hilary,” he called.

Seconds later she stood in front of his desk. She was nothing if not efficient.

“After the men finish the renovations for the day, have all of the employees gather in the office.”

Hilary waited, but Gray didn’t explain. He knew he needed to make changes and he knew the staff should be told, but he had to confirm everything with Arnie before he spoke. He and the accountant could hash out details this afternoon.

* * *

AT LUNCHTIME, AUDREY closed her floral shop and walked down Main to the Sweet Temptations Bakery and Café, resolutely avoiding thinking about that disturbing incident with Gray. He’d been strange, almost unbalanced, but still so handsome, so smoothly...right.... With those pale gray eyes so striking against his perfectly tanned skin, it almost hurt to look at him.

There’d been that brief moment when he’d let his guard down, when he’d been petting Jerry, his expression tender and almost wistful.

Then he’d turned hard. She disliked that version of the man with all of her heart.

A movement in the window of Enchanté caught her attention, Marceline waving and gesturing toward a black teddy with pink polka dots and pink bows. Oh, so cute. Oh, so sexy.

She couldn’t possibly afford it.

Audrey had dresser drawers that overflowed with basques and silk knickers and corsets. Oh, she loved lingerie. She’d been diligent in her search for amazing undergarments at excellent prices. With her full figure, she needed good support and quality material. So much beautiful French lingerie. So little space, time and money.

And no one to wear it for. She did wear it, though, every day, but, oh, it would be lovely to have someone to whom she could show it off.

She shook her head and mimed drying tears from the corners of her eyes, making Marceline smile, and walked on. Someday she would share her favorites with a special someone.

At the café, she ordered a couple of soups and sandwiches then carried lunch along Main to the Army Surplus.

When she stepped into the store, she breathed deeply of the mothballs and incense that made up her friend’s unique scent.

“Noah?” she called.

He came out of the back carrying a pile of boxes, bobbing up onto the balls of his feet in his signature walk that kept him looking young and boyish, one of the things she adored about him.

He bussed her on the cheek. She didn’t return the favor. Noah didn’t like lipstick. She giggled and thought of doing it anyway, of leaving a big swath of red gloss across his cheek, but suppressed her inner imp.

“What did you bring today?” he asked.

“Tomato garlic soup and pastrami on rye.”

“Hot mustard?”

“You got it, cowboy.”

Noah smiled, cleared off the counter and pulled up a couple of stools. He retrieved their bamboo reusable cutlery from a drawer and handed it to her while she set out their lunch, the routine comforting. They might as well be a married couple.

And don’t think she hadn’t wondered many a time whether she should be marrying Noah. He suited her perfectly. She couldn’t ask for a better friend. Too bad that she wanted more in a relationship than this easy friendship.

“Want to go to a concert in Denver?” Noah asked. He named a date in October when a band they both liked would be performing.

“You bet.”

It was a pair of young Swedish women with old souls, throwbacks to sixties hippies, and their music resonated with Noah. They were also insanely talented and very young.

“How can they be successful at such an early age?” she mused.

“Adolescence lends itself to creativity. You remember how creative you were back then.”

Yes, she did. It had been a magical time.

And so painful.

She’d had no female influence to guide her into womanhood. Mom had already been dead for nearly ten years. Audrey remembered being confused, with a body that was blossoming too quickly, too early. She’d hidden her loneliness under a tough veneer and her burgeoning breasts and hips under big clothes.

Dad hadn’t had a clue how to help her.

“Those girls in the band were probably supported by their parents.” Noah threw his sandwich wrapper into the recycle bin. “Imagine where you’d be today if your dad had supported your interest in flowers instead of pushing you into geology.”

“He only wanted what was best for me.”

“I know, but only you could decide that. Not him.”

They’d been through this argument before, so Audrey said no more. Nothing either of them said would change the fact that she’d worked in an industry she shouldn’t have for too long.

She was where she needed to be now, though, and just in the nick of time to take care of Dad.

Noah seemed to understand and changed the subject. “How did the standoff go at the greenhouse this morning?”

“Fine,” she answered. “Gray didn’t even know his father had sold the land to me.”

“Figures. Dude just wants to make money so badly.” He pointed his wooden spoon at her. “You watch out for that guy. He’s a corporate snake in the grass. I don’t doubt he can get down and dirty when he needs to.”

“Relax, Noah. The sale was legal.”

“I don’t trust him.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

Audrey smiled, but Noah didn’t return it, and that chilled her.

“Listen, Noah, I dealt with plenty of Gray’s corporate doppelgängers in my previous job. I can be as tough as I need to be.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No ‘buts’ about it. Seriously. I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can.” Noah’s sentiment sounded hollow. He should be the last person on earth to condescend to her, but she knew their history made it hard for him to think of her as independent.

In high school, when she’d been only fourteen, and too smart and a year ahead of her peers, and already trying to express her individuality with weird clothes, he’d caught a bunch of kids bullying her. Older Noah had given them hell. Even as a young teenager, Noah’s personality had already been set in stone, as though he’d come out of his mother’s womb fully formed. No one Audrey knew had better ethics or morals or stronger convictions, and he wasn’t afraid to act on them.

When he’d rescued her from the kids making fun of her spiky hair, her big boots and her baggy clothes, when he’d taken her under his brotherly wing, she’d been grateful, but it had been an uphill battle ever since to get him to see her as a grown-up. Maybe that was why they’d stayed friends and nothing more.

Too bad Noah’s version of support didn’t match what she needed these days. She buried her disappointment and ate her lunch.

When she left, though, Noah called to her, “Audrey.”

She turned from the doorway.

“You know I want only what’s best for you, right?” He smiled, his lips full in the middle of his red beard, but creases furrowed his forehead.

Oh, Noah. He didn’t even begin to get the similarities between her father and him. Hadn’t they already established that Dad had always wanted what he thought was best for her, too?

“I understand,” she said to ease his worried frown and left the shop.

* * *

GRAY TOSSED HIS pen on to the desk and took a deep, calming breath. Either that, or he would throttle the closest person. Considering that it was Dad’s blameless accountant, that wouldn’t be fair.

“I tried to talk Harrison out of this innumerable times,” Arnie said. “He wouldn’t budge. He wanted to give his people all of these benefits.”

“The company can’t afford them, though. I understand Dad’s urge, his largesse, given how long most of his employees have worked for him, but did he have to give them everything? Massages, for God’s sake. Orthodontics. Orthotics. Couldn’t he have chosen a cheaper benefit package? Just eye glasses and dental? Did he have to opt for the whole kit and caboodle?”

“I used those arguments myself, but he was...” Arnie’s glance slid away.

“Go ahead. Say it. Dad was stubborn.”

“Yeah, he was. About this, at any rate.”

“We have to cancel the contract with the insurance company.”

If the situation hadn’t been dire, Arnie’s look of horror would have been funny.

“What?” Gray asked. “We have to.”

“It’s one thing to fight with a union or a group of employees about implementing this kind of thing, but once it’s done, it just shouldn’t be taken away.”

Gray took another of his calming breaths. “It’s either that or layoffs, right?”

Arnie’s mouth became a thin slash in his aging face. “Yes.”

“Layoffs are the last resort, so we get rid of the benefits.” Gray glanced at his watch. Six o’clock. His head ached. He and Arnie had been hammering away at the budget, making cuts wherever they could, but the benefits package Dad had bought his employees a few years ago was the biggie.

“Come on,” he said. “Hilary should have everyone gathered by now.”

He stood and slid the walls of his office open. Many of the employees were already there. Turner Lumber employed over fifty people.

Some looked relaxed and others tense. Some expected him to be his dad. Others knew he wasn’t.

“The cashiers are just cashing out their tills downstairs, and then they’ll be up.” Hilary led him to a table she’d set up along the far wall, then took a militant stance. “I put on a pot of coffee and ordered in goodies from the bakery to tide everyone over until dinnertime.”

The defiance in her voice bugged him. Honest to God, she didn’t get that he wasn’t mean or stingy or hard-hearted, but a realist. Certain things had to change to save the company, but they could still afford doughnuts.

He was tired of tension in the company and with Hilary. He’d had to call her to task more than once for her spending of company money without his permission.

Worse, she’d actually called Dad a couple of times to make sure that what Gray was doing was okay with him. The woman needed to screw her head on right. She was either for or against him.

In the meantime, she ran the everyday details that Gray didn’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. He needed more responsibility in his life like he needed a lobotomy.

What would the company do without Hilary?

“Thanks,” he said, to appease her. “It was good of you to think of it.”

Hilary smiled, but reluctantly.

To satisfy her further, even though he didn’t have a sweet tooth, he bit into a doughnut. Hilary grinned.

Stifling a sigh, he turned away to socialize, asking about spouses and children.

When the last of the employees had finally dribbled in, Gray called for their attention.

He thanked them for their loyalty over the years and their hard work. Then, with Arnie by his side, he unloaded his bombshell.

“We’re canceling the benefits package my dad gave to all of you a few years ago.”

The eruption of complaints hit the rafters, the sound level sending the throbbing in Gray’s temples into overdrive.

“Cripes,” he mumbled to Arnie. “You’d think I was killing a litter of puppies.”

“Can I say I told you so? Once you’ve given something to people, they take ownership. You try to take it back and they don’t thank you for having given it to them in the first place. Instead, they think they’re being robbed.” Arnie shrugged. “Human nature.”

Once Gray got the crowd under control again, he got right to the point. “Here’s the alternative. Layoffs.”

Again, more grumbling, but this time more subdued. Shock, no doubt.

“I’m fighting tooth and nail to not have that happen. I’ve kept you all on and plan to continue to do so, but you have to work with me. We need to cut corners like crazy. The economy is bad across the country.”

Mumbling all around. The employees’ fear smelled metallic, like spilled blood.

“My concern,” Gray continued, “is that once I let any of you go, you won’t get another job. The retail, hotel and restaurant sectors of Accord are doing well because of tourism, but industry is suffering. We need to fight hard to save Turner Lumber.”

He stalked to his office and slapped a hand against the office wall he’d slid open earlier. “This,” he said, “will be open all day most days. If any of you have ideas on how to cut costs, how to improve service to the customers so they’ll return more often, how to change anything that will help this company stay in business, you come to me and I’ll listen.”

Tired to the bone, he all but mumbled, “I’m heading out now. I’m sure you all have a lot you want to discuss without the boss hovering, so stay as long as you need to. Everyone still has jobs for now. See you tomorrow morning.”

He left the office. Where minutes ago, it had been full of noise, now it was silent. Perhaps they finally understood the situation. Despite how he’d tried to make changes recently, they had resisted and hadn’t understood fully how bad things were.

But Gray had. Maybe now they did, too.

CHAPTER FOUR

“AUDREY!” THE PANIC in Dad’s voice had Audrey dropping the dress she was sewing and running downstairs. It was seven in the morning, and she’d been up since six.

After her run-in with Gray yesterday at the greenhouses, she’d planned to wear something bold today to bolster her morale. The red dress with the huge white polka dots that she was hemming would have been perfect, but she would opt for something else.

She rushed into the living room. Dad sat in his favorite recliner rubbing his shins.

“What happened?”

“Walked into the coffee table. Why did you move it?”

She hadn’t. His eyesight was failing rapidly if he couldn’t see the monstrosity in front of the sofa that could house a small village.

“You have to remember to turn your head when you move. Learn to use your peripheral vision.” Macular degeneration caused vision loss in the center of the field of vision. Dad could no longer see and recognize faces, not even his own daughter’s. Or his own, for that matter. Good thing. It was probably a godsend that when he looked into a mirror, he wouldn’t see how much he’d aged in the past year.

“It’s hard walking forward while turning your head sideways,” he said, voice ripe with frustration. “I try.”

“I know you do. It’s a huge adjustment.”

She sat on the table and lifted his pant legs. “You’ll be sporting some impressive bruises tomorrow.”

She glanced up at his impassive face, his vibrancy drained by his affliction.

“The skin isn’t broken. I’m sorry, Dad. There’s nothing I can do.” She rubbed his shin gently to soften that news, then stood and walked to the hall. “I’m going back up to my sewing.”

“Don’t.”

She stopped in the doorway and watched him expectantly. Stress had ravaged his once handsome face. Deep creases bracketed his sullen mouth. Oh, Dad.

“Read to me,” he said, sounding so much like a little boy asking for a bedtime story she almost smiled. She had wanted to work in the greenhouses before heading into Denver today.

But Dad needed her.

The more and more trouble he had with his eyesight, the more childlike he became in his demands. An avid, lifelong reader, Dad could no longer read to himself. He resisted listening to the audio books she got for him from the library. She knew it was more than stubbornness. It was fear. If he started using them, it would be an open admission of how much he had lost in his life.

And he had more worry hanging over his head. Dry macular degeneration had already caused a blind spot in the center of his vision. If his condition changed to wet macular degeneration, blood vessels could grow under his retinas, leaking blood and fluid, and distorting what was left of the little vision he still had.

The doctors couldn’t predict whether it was a given.

Poor Dad.

It would be arrogant of Audrey to believe she understood how taxing Dad’s life must be these days. Her eyesight and her health were perfect.

“Dad, I have to get to work. I can read to you this evening.”

“You call that work? That shop? Mucking about with flowers?”

Audrey braced herself, heartily sick of this old argument. “The shop allows me to live in Accord with you.”

“I don’t need you to live with me. You didn’t have to come home.”

Oh, Daddy. Of course she did. She’d returned to town as soon as Dad had been diagnosed a year ago. How could she not have come home? Dad might be stubborn and unrealistic in his views that he could live alone, but she loved him. They belonged together, especially in his time of need. She was all he had left.

“I can get around this house just fine,” he insisted.

“And town? Do you get around town fine?” Dad sucked in a breath. She wasn’t being cruel. Just realistic. “You refuse to leave the house. How would you get your groceries?”

“I’d have them delivered. Or hire a kid to pick them up.”

But they wouldn’t be Audrey. They wouldn’t read to him because he could no longer read to himself. They wouldn’t cook him the meals he loved. Or force him to eat the healthy stuff he hated. Or spend time with him in the evenings.

Audrey held her tongue and picked up the print book from the end table. It tied into Dad’s fascination with World War II. Audrey didn’t get how Dad could listen to talk of war when his own son had been killed in Afghanistan.

She opened to the section on the Berlin Airlift.

Please, please, please, let me read something uplifting.

When she started reading, though, Dad said, “Not that stuff. Turn to the Invasion of Normandy. All the good stuff, all the turning points happened in the battles.”

“But the good stuff for me is the wonder of the airlift and human interest stories like Uncle Wiggly Wings.”

The stern set of Dad’s mouth eased. “You’ve always been too soft.”

“It’s not just the human interest aspect. I love the politics. The airlift was significant, huge, the beginning of the Cold War.”