Obsession

“And helpful if you bring a man home home.” A beat passed. “Would you?”

“Would I screw some other guy to even the score?” I asked, my tone saying it was definitely something I would not consider.

Marnie dropped popcorn into her mouth and chewed. “Maybe you should.”

“What?”

“Hear me out. And I’m not saying you should go fuck some other guy to even the score. But maybe it’s a good idea to see what else is out there,” she said tentatively. “You’ve been with Andrew for ten years. Twenty when you started dating, twenty-two when you married. Maybe, just maybe, he isn’t the man you’re supposed to be with for the rest of your life.”

I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure I could contemplate moving on—at least not yet.

“Do you want him to move back in right now?”

“No.”

“Do you think your marriage is going to be the same even if you do work things out?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t imagine our marriage ever being the same. Not after this.

“I stayed in my marriage much longer than I should have, hoping Keith would stop cheating and realize that he loved me. At the time, I didn’t think I could be happy without him. I was so stupid. The truth is, the day I let him go was the best day of my life. Have I found my knight in shining armor yet? Maybe not, but fuck, it’s far better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn’t respect you.”

“With all due respect,” I began slowly, “this is the first time Andrew has cheated.”

Marnie gave me a look. I wasn’t sure if it was pity or something else.

“That’s what he said. And I…I believe him.”

Marnie shrugged.

“You knew Keith was cheating on you. You always told me you felt it. You’d find phone numbers stuffed in his pockets, lipstick on his collar…”

“And some guys are smarter than Keith ever was.”

“Marnie, that’s not what I need to hear right now.”

She held up both hands. “All right. Forget about Andrew and whether or not this was the first time he cheated. My whole point is that you need to start concentrating on you. On what you need, on what’s good for you. What if what’s good for you is fresh cock?” She wriggled her eyebrows.

“Marnie!” I slapped her hand, and she laughed. I laughed, too.

“First of all, dating someone else will be a good way to take your mind off Andrew. And who knows, you just might meet the man of your dreams while you’re at it.”

“Marnie—”

“And if not…it’s been ten years and you’ve only had sex with one man.”

“That’s what happens when you’re married.”

“Tell that to guys,” Marnie mumbled.

I made a face.

“Bottom line, if all you get out of this is another sexual experience… is that so bad? It might even help.”

I stood. “Okay. Enough about my marriage.”

“What are you doing?” Marnie asked as I started to walk out of the kitchen.

“Going to take two Advil before we head out for dinner. Because if I’m going to continue to drown my sorrows in alcohol, I’m going to need more than popcorn in my stomach.”

Marnie smiled.

“And the last thing I want is a migraine if I might possibly meet the man of my dreams tonight.”

Now Marnie laughed. “That’s the spirit.”

I continued to the bedroom. I didn’t really plan on meeting anyone, but I was up for a fun evening of music and dancing.

There was no point spending the night alone in an empty house that would only remind me of Andrew.

6

As Marnie drove us to CityWalk, I couldn’t help thinking about her words.

And Andrew’s unorthodox suggestion.

Maybe my friend was right. Maybe I needed to see what else was out there, experience being with a new man before I decided what I’d do next. At the very least, I needed a diversion. Something to distract me from thoughts of Andrew cheating and the possible lawsuit his scorned lover might launch against him.

The more I mulled over the idea, the more it appealed to me. After all, I’d given Andrew no reason to cheat. I loved him. I did as much as I could to be the best wife possible. And we got along well, even if the passion of our earlier years had waned.

If he’d wanted to recharge that passion, he could have suggested something to me. Anything, really. It wasn’t as if Andrew and I couldn’t talk.

That’s what made his cheating even harder to accept. That he wasn’t the type of man I expected would betray me before talking to me about a problem.

“Do you think he isn’t attracted to me anymore?” I suddenly asked.

Marnie glanced at me as if I were crazy. “What?”

“You know. Maybe he wanted me decked out in miniskirts and tank tops all the time or something.”

“Now this is what bugs me. Women always end up blaming themselves when their man cheats. Trust me, I know.” Marnie stopped at a light, then made a right turn. “You’re beautiful, sexy, and if Andrew cheated, he’s the one with the problem—not you. That’s my whole point about seeing what else is out there. Another man—the kind who’d never betray you—might just sweep you off your feet.”

“And I thought you were such a cynic,” I teased.

“How many people are on the planet? Five billion? At least a few of those guys have to be decent and trustworthy. Oh—and hot as hell.” Marnie grinned devilishly, as though that last qualification was the most important.

“Of course,” Marnie continued, “if you decide just to look, that’s perfectly fine. A little eye candy never hurt nobody.”

“If nothing else, I’m going to have a good time tonight. You always make me laugh.”

We decided on BB King’s Blues Club, since we could kill two birds with one stone there—enjoy authentic Southern cuisine while listening to a live band.

I was dressed to the nines, in a short black skirt and low-cut red top that had heads turning as I stepped into the club. Marnie was wearing a leopard print dress that showed off her voluptuous curves. I’d been determined to head out and find a little action, but I halted, suddenly unsure.

“Hey,” Marnie said in a low voice. “It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Knowing me as well as she did, she’d clearly picked up on my hesitation. “And there’s no guilt if you do choose to go for what you want. If you meet someone you like, think of it as a freebie.”

A freebie…it was an odd way to look at having an affair. And yet, Andrew had given me not only his blessing but his encouragement to go out and even the score.

“Right.” I rolled my shoulders backward to work out some of the tension, then smiled when the hostess appeared and asked if we wanted a table or to sit at the bar.

“A table,” Marnie said. “Close to the stage, if possible.”

At seven-thirty, we were seated at a table near the stage. At eight, the band began to play. Flip Side, a group of three men in their thirties and one woman with long dreads of about the same age, started their set off with “The Thrill is Gone,” B.B. King’s duet with Tracy Chapman, which warmed the crowd. Then they played some classic B.B. King numbers, some Ray Charles, Ida Cox and other blues artists from the early twentieth century. By the time they rocked the house with some Jimi Hendrix rock ’n’ roll blues, everyone was either dancing, clapping or toe tapping.

When the female singer announced that there would be an intermission before the next set, Marnie touched my hand. I looked her way. “Have you noticed a certain someone checking you out?” she asked.

“No,” I replied, and began looking around. I caught the eye of an older gentleman, who winked at me. I returned my gaze to Marnie. “Who are you talking about?”

“You really have been out of the game too long,” she said. “The drummer,” she went on, in a tone that said the answer was obvious.

“The drummer?” I quickly looked toward the stage.

“Isn’t he cute?”

I checked him out. He was thin, tall, and sported short dreadlocks. “Yes, he’s definitely cute. But not really my type.”

Marnie gaped at me. “What are you talking about? He’s hot.”

“Yeah…just not my type.”

“I don’t think he’d agree,” Marnie said in a singsong voice.

“You’re seeing things,” I told Marnie. “He didn’t check me out once.”

“He totally was,” Marnie insisted. “You should go talk to him. I think he’d make a good booty call.”

I glanced toward the stage. There was a flock of women swarming the band. I shook my head at the pitiable sight. All those women hoping to bed a musician, or maybe even find a sugar daddy.

That wasn’t for me.

“Marnie, stop worrying about my sex life. I’m out having a good time. That’s all that matters.”

“Oh, no-no-no.” She wagged a finger at me. “You’re gonna meet someone.”

Rolling my eyes, I laughed. “Sure, whatever you say.”

My gaze wandered around the bar. There were some attractive men here, but most of them were with dates. I wasn’t against the idea of meeting someone, if a guy here got me excited.

And maybe Marnie was right. I had married Andrew young. Until a few days ago, I’d never questioned that decision. But what if Andrew’s affair was a sign that we’d drifted apart, that we weren’t meant to live happily ever after?

What if there was someone else out there for me—the kind of man who would always appreciate me and never screw around?

I’d had friends in the past who’d been cheated on, and I always encouraged them to move on and find someone worthy of them. And yet, the thought of being without Andrew was very hard to contemplate.

But it was equally hard to think that I would simply accept what he’d done, forgive him and resume our life as it had been. Especially now. Would I be setting myself up for future heartache from him if I decided I wanted to save my marriage? Would he feel that if I’d forgiven him once, I would do so again…and again?

“I’m ready for another drink,” Marnie announced, her words pulling me from my thoughts. “Want another margarita?”

“Definitely,” I answered quickly. I’d certainly had enough already, but I didn’t want to think about Andrew anymore. Booze would help me forget.

As Marnie glanced around in search of our waitress, I spotted the older gentleman I’d seen eyeing me before. This time, I noticed that he was with a friend.

Both he and his friend were grinning at me now. A wink from the shorter man, and they started walking our way.

“Warning,” I said. “Creep alert.”

“Where?”

“Don’t look!” I said in an urgent whisper as Marnie started to turn her head. She abruptly halted. “Two guys who have to be in their sixties. Now they’re heading this way. Shit.”

“Just what I like,” Marnie muttered. “Old men with hard-ons.”

“They’re definitely interested in us.” I could see them getting closer through my peripheral vision. As they reached our table, I whispered, “Showtime.”

“Hello, ladies,” the shorter man said. He was probably five foot nine, with a medium brown complexion and a beer gut. He also seemed to have eyes only for me. “How about a dance?”

“Sorry,” Marnie said sweetly. “We were just about to order dessert.”

“We don’t mind waiting,” the other man said. He was darker skinned, taller, and quite handsome—but about thirty years too old for either of us. “We can show you a thing or two on the dance floor.”

“I’m married,” I pointed out. “Sorry.”

“Thanks for the offer, though,” Marnie said. She barely suppressed a smile as she added, “We’re flattered.”

“All right,” the taller man conceded. “But if you change your mind…”

“We won’t,” Marnie told him.

The two men wandered off. Marnie made a face, then burst out laughing.

“In their defense, they did seem nice,” I said. I’d assumed they’d be creeps because so often creeps approached me.

“Yeah, but you know they’ve got to be back at the nursing home by nine.”

“Marnie!”

“I’ve got nothing against old people. Just old people who think I’m going to sleep with them. If I’m going to fuck someone, he’s going to be young, hot and able to maintain an erection.”

“Enough, Marnie.” I shook my head. “Let’s hit the dance floor.”

Marnie and I worked our way to the dance floor in front of the stage. I noticed our two suitors talking to two women younger than Marnie and me. At least they took rejection well.

Marnie shook her hips to the rock ’n’ roll beat. “Ooh, he’s cute.”

I didn’t bother looking at the guy she was referring to. Marnie’s eyes continued to bounce over the crowd. She was clearly on the prowl, but I suspected more for herself than for me.

No sooner were we shaking our butts on the dance floor to the latest Beyoncé hit than Marnie leaned close and whispered, “Oh, over there. He’s pretty hot.”

She pointed, and I followed the direction of her finger. I saw a guy who was probably twenty-two, with a decent build, and a very attractive face.

Seeing me, he smiled. And revealed a mouth full of gold teeth.

“Ew!” Marnie and I proclaimed at the same time.

“Okay, so he’s a negative,” Marnie said. “But there’ll be someone else.”

Halfway through the song, Marnie raised her eyebrows at me. I wondered what she was trying to tell me—until I felt someone’s hand on my arm.

I glanced over my shoulder at the stranger, saw a teddy bear of a man with dark skin. Normally, I would have pulled away from him. Like I’d pulled away from the men in the Bahamas who’d wanted to dance with me. But this time, I didn’t pull away.

I shook my butt against his groin, having some fun with teasing him. He grew hard in an instant, his cock now pressing against the top of my ass. Before, I would have been wary of this and backed off. But tonight, his erection turned me on, reminding me that I was a desirable woman.

Something Andrew had forgotten.

I got bolder, bending forward slightly while pushing my ass harder against him. He planted his hands on my hips and pulled me against his cock, and as we danced, our bodies moved like we were fucking with clothes on.

“Sweet Jesus,” the man said.

Giggling, I turned to face him. He was grinning at me as though I were the sexiest woman in the world. The look lifted my spirits. Yes, I was beautiful and sexy and had a hell of a lot to offer.

We continued to dance close, but not too close this time, our hips pumping to the fast beat. At the end of the second song, I leaned forward and patted the man’s arm in a friendly gesture. “Thanks for the dance,” I said.

“You’re gonna leave a brother hanging like that?”

I shrugged apologetically. “I’m married.”

“Married?” He sounded surprised. “Damn, girl.”

“I know,” I said, a hint of self-chastising in my voice. “I guess I got carried away. But, yes, I am a married woman. Out having a little bit of fun.”

“That’s it?” His eyebrows lifted hopefully.

“Yes. That’s it.”

“All right.” The man nodded his understanding. “Lucky man.”

I turned around and saw Marnie, who was standing with two margaritas in hand. She must have gotten them while I’d been dancing.

“Having fun?” she asked, offering me a drink.

“Yes,” I answered honestly. I sipped the new magarita. “And I made a decision about something,” I found myself saying.

“Oh?”

“If I meet someone, I’m gonna go for it.”

“Woo-hoo!” Marnie gave me a high five, and I had to quickly steady my glass so my drink didn’t spill. “Does that mean you like that guy?”

“No. Not him. He’s nice, but…he’s more fun. I want someone who makes me hot with one look.”

One dance, and I was in the mood to get lucky. One dance had reminded me that I was a beautiful woman with a lot to offer. A woman who didn’t deserve to have her husband cheat on her.

Andrew had said I should even the score. Marnie said I should see if there was a better match out there for me.

Well, I would at least even the playing field. If I was ever going to forgive Andrew, I needed to do this.

And satisfy my own curiosity in the process.

I’d been with only one other man before Andrew, and the experience had been horrendous. Chad, my high school boyfriend. I’d been into him, but I wasn’t in love. Partway during some heavy foreplay I told him I didn’t think I could go through with having sex. He ignored me, got rougher, and took my virginity despite my cries to get off me.

My experience with Andrew had been totally different. He hadn’t pressured me the way Chad had. Instead, he’d taken his time and waited until I was truly ready. If, while kissing, he sensed any hesitation on my part, he pulled away. I really loved that about him, and when I gave Andrew my heart and my body after eight months of dating, I knew that it would be forever.

The memory hurt, and I downed my drink. Then eyed the men in the crowd.

With Andrew having been my only positive sexual experience, I’d naturally been curious about what it might be like to be intimate with another man. Curious, but not tempted.

Until now.

Marnie flagged down a passing waitress with a tray of pink- colored shooters. She bought two.

“I don’t know, Marnie.”

“If we get too drunk, we’ll call a cab.” She offered me the shooter.

“Absolutely.” I took the glass, and on the count of three, we both downed the shots.

I don’t even know what the alcohol was, but it had a citrusy tang to it. It warmed my insides, and made my buzz come back with full force.

The sounds of Wyclef Jean filled the club, and my inhibitions gone, I threw my hands in the air and seductively moved my body.

“Girl, you are getting some serious attention,” Marnie informed me. “You should see all the guys checking you out.”

I glanced around coyly, noticed several eyes staring my way. But I didn’t notice anyone who got my libido going, and I was starting to wonder if I would.

“That guy right there,” Marnie said, pointing through the crowd of people to a man that was hard to miss. He was tall, and had muscles all over from what I could tell. He was dark skinned and handsome, but I didn’t feel a spark of attraction as I stole a glance at him.

I shook my head. “No.”

“You are being way too picky.”

“It has to be the right guy,” I said. It wasn’t hard for a woman to find a man to fuck. All she had to do was ask. But I didn’t want to bed just anyone. It had to be a guy who gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

I continued dancing, gyrating my hips in a motion meant to seduce. I knew guys were watching me. Their blatant stares made me remember that, at my core, I was a sexy woman.

I made my hip movements even sexier. Thanks to the alcohol, I was feeling good. No pain, as they say.

When the beat picked up with an Usher tune, I gripped my skirt in both hands and shimmied my dress around my legs, showing off tempting amounts of skin. My eyes were closed, my head moving from side to side.

“Damn, girl,” a male voice said, and I opened my eyes. “You’re fittin’ to give a brother a heart attack.”

I smiled graciously at the man I’d danced with earlier. He brazenly licked his bottom lip as I kept dancing.

He leaned in close. “Your husband know you dance like this when he ain’t around?”

I didn’t answer, just shook my hips.

“You look like you want a little something something,” the teddy bear whispered. “I can give you what you need.”

I wondered if my desire for sex was painted on my forehead.

“I’m just here to have fun,” I said, reiterating what I’d told the man earlier. From behind the man, I could see Marnie giving me two thumbs up.

“I can show you fun.” He placed a hand on my waist.

“That’s no way to speak to a married woman,” I teased.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Sophie. Yours?”

“Teddy.”

No way. I started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Just that…I was thinking you kind of look like a teddy bear, and here your name is Teddy.” I shrugged when Teddy didn’t crack a smile. “Maybe it’s not that funny after all.”

I soon realized why he hadn’t smiled. Because he was seriously checking me out. The look Teddy gave me was smoldering. It traveled over my face, paused on my lips, then went lower, to my breasts. It screamed “I want to fuck you.”

“You never step out on your man?” Teddy asked.

I smiled sweetly, hoping he’d take my rejection well. I was starting to get a tad worried, wondering if this guy wasn’t the type who liked to hear no. “Like I said, I’m just here to dance and have a little fun.”

“All right.” Teddy shrugged, and I was relieved. Knowing he’d lost the fight, he wandered away.

As he disappeared into the crowd, I asked myself what was wrong with him? He was cute, had a nice body. Most women wouldn’t kick him out of bed in the morning. So why was I rejecting him?

Maybe I was deluding myself. Perhaps I was all talk in terms of thinking I could have an affair, when in reality I wouldn’t be able to go through with it.

Marnie leaned her head in close. “Seriously, Soph, what’s wrong with him? He could have me in a bear hug all night long and I wouldn’t complain. Not one bit.”

“Maybe I should go.”

“Don’t be so hasty. The night is young. And don’t forget, you’re not looking for a new husband. Just someone to give you a night of endless orgasms.”

As I started to laugh, I felt someone’s eyes on me. As surely as if someone had reached out and touched me.

Slowly, I turned. Got a jolt when my eyes connected with his.

And in that instant, I knew.

He was the one.

7

As my eyes made contact with the sexy stranger’s, the corners of his mouth lifted in the slightest of smiles. It wasn’t a polite smile, but the kind that seemed to say I want you.

My heart fluttered as I returned his smile. Then I elbowed Marnie. “I think I’m in business. Over there. The guy with the dark hair hanging past his shoulders.”

“Ooh, the one who looks a bit like Antonio Banderas? I didn’t know you were into Spanish guys.”

Now that Marnie mentioned it, yes, he did look a bit like Antonio Banderas, but with slightly darker skin. He looked black, but mixed with another race. Maybe white. Maybe Hispanic. All that mattered to me was that he was hot, and that he was the first guy I’d had a connection with tonight.

“I haven’t been into any guy besides my husband,” I pointed out.

“Whatever you do, don’t mention the word ‘husband’ when that guy gets here. Cuz honey, with the way he’s looking at you, you know he’ll be here any second.”

I met the man’s gaze again. Even though he was about twenty feet away, I could see the lust simmering in his eyes.

Lust for me.

That reality turned me on.

I swallowed, knowing that I was feeling the same lust. This was the connection I’d been hoping to find. Something instantaneous, and electric.

And yet, this was foreign territory. I hadn’t allowed myself to feel sexual attraction for another man in the past ten years.

The man started toward me, and my heart thundered in my chest. The very fact that I hadn’t been with another man in ten years suddenly got to me, making me nervous. Would my heart really let me go through with this, even though my brain said I should?

“Shit, Marnie. He’s heading over here. What do I say? Maybe having an affair is really a crazy idea.”

“You say hi,” Marnie told me, and gave me a little shove.

I stumbled slightly into the man’s path, feeling like an idiot as I did so. I shot an annoyed look over my shoulder at Marnie, who gave me a false apologetic look.

Then I drew in a breath and turned back to the man.

“Hello,” he said. He had some sort of accent. Maybe Marnie was right and he was Spanish.

“Hi,” I responded. “How are you tonight?” Duh! Couldn’t I have thought of something more intriguing to say?