The Stranger

‘How well do you know me, anyway? Do you think I’m some sort of male chauvinist pig? A chauvinist pig whose fiancée makes twice as much as he does, by the way. I just mean … oh, never mind, you’ll just have to see for yourself.’

Martin was silent for a moment, then he said, ‘Are you serious? Does Erica make twice as much as you do?’

Patrik laughed. ‘I knew that would shut you up. Although to be entirely honest, that’s before taxes. Most of it goes to the government. Lucky thing, too. It would have been too depressing to be rich.’

Martin joined in the laughter. ‘Yeah, what a fate. That’s not something you’d want to deal with.’

‘You can say that again.’ Patrik smiled but soon turned serious. They turned into the Kullen neighbourhood, where the blocks of flats stood close together, and parked the car. Then they sat there for a moment before getting out.

‘Well, here we go again.’

‘Yep,’ said Martin. The knot in his stomach was growing by the minute. But there was no turning back. Might as well get it done.

‘Lars?’ Hanna put down her bag inside the front door, hung up her jacket, and placed her shoes on the shoe rack. No one answered. ‘Hello? Lars? Are you here?’ She could hear the anxiety begin creeping into her voice. ‘Lars?’ She went through the house. Everything was quiet. Dust motes scattered in her path, clearly visible in the springtime sun shining through the windows. The landlord hadn’t done much of a cleaning job before he rented the place. But she couldn’t face doing it now. Her unease was pushing everything else away. ‘LARS?’ Now she was shouting, but she heard only her own voice echoing off the walls.

Hanna continued looking through the house. There was nobody downstairs, so she ran upstairs to the top floor. The door to the bedroom was closed. She opened it cautiously. ‘Lars?’ she said softly. He was lying on the bed on his side, his back to her. He was on top of the covers, fully dressed, and she could see from his even breathing that he was asleep. She crept over to the bed and lay down beside him, their bodies like two spoons. She listened to his breathing and could feel the regular rhythm begin to rock her softly to sleep. And sleep took away her worry.

‘What a fucking dump,’ said Uffe, flopping down on one of the beds that stood ready in the big room.

‘I think it’s going to be fun,’ said Barbie, bouncing on the bed.

‘Did I say it wouldn’t be fun?’ said Uffe with a laugh. ‘I just said it’s a dump. But we’re going to get things moving, aren’t we? Just look at the supplies.’ He sat up, pointing at the well-stocked bar. ‘What do you say? Shall we start to party?’

‘Yeah!’ Everyone except Jonna cheered. Nobody looked at the cameras whirring all around them. They were much too used to them to make such a beginner’s mistake.

‘So skål then, for fuck’s sake,’ said Uffe, grabbing the first beer.

‘Skål,’ said all the others, raising their bottles high. All except Jonna. She was still sitting on her bed, looking at the five others and not moving.

‘What’s your problem?’ Uffe snapped in her direction. ‘Aren’t you going to have a beer with us? Aren’t we good enough to drink with you, or what?’ They all looked expectantly at Jonna. They were all acutely aware that conflicts made for great TV, and if there was anything they all wanted, it was for Sodding Tanum to be great TV.

‘I just don’t feel like it,’ said Jonna. She avoided Uffe’s gaze.

‘“I just don’t feel like it,”’ Uffe mocked her, his voice a shrill falsetto. He looked around to make sure that he had the others’ support, and when he saw anticipation in their eyes he went on. ‘What the fuck, are you some kind of fucking teetotaller? I thought we were here to PAR-TAY!’ He raised his bottle and took a big swig.

‘She’s not a teetotaller,’ Barbie ventured to say. A sharp look from Uffe shut her up.

‘Just leave me alone,’ said Jonna, swinging her legs down from the bed in annoyance. ‘I’m going out for a while,’ she said, pulling on her big shapeless military jacket that was hanging on a nearby chair.

‘Go ahead,’ Uffe yelled after her. ‘Fuck off, loser!’ He gave a big laugh and opened another beer. Then he looked round again. ‘What are you sitting around for, it’s a PARTY! Skål!’

After a few seconds of awkward silence a nervous laughter began to spread. Then the others raised their bottles and plunged into the fray. The cameras kept whirring, inciting their intoxication. It was great to be on TV again.

‘Pappa, the doorbell is ringing!’ Sofie yelled and then returned to her phone call. She sighed.

‘Pappa is so slow. I can’t stand just sitting here. I’m counting the days until I can go back home to Mamma and Kerstin. Typical – I have to stay in the flat when they start shooting Sodding Tanum today. Everyone else is going down to watch, and I’m missing it all. So bloody typical,’ she groused. ‘Pappa, you have to get it, there’s someone at the door!’ she yelled. ‘I’m too old to be shuttling back and forth between those two like some kid from a broken home. But they still can’t get along, so neither of them will listen to me. They act like such babies.’

The doorbell sounded loudly through the flat again, and Sofie jumped up. ‘I suppose, I’ll have to open it MYSELF then!’ she screamed, adding more softly into the phone, ‘Look, I’ll have to call you back, the old man is probably listening to his disgusting dance band music with the headphones on. Kiss kiss, sweetie.’ Sofie sighed and headed for the front door.

‘All right, all right, I’m coming!’ She tore open the door but was a bit shocked to see two strangers in police uniform standing there.

‘Hello?’

‘Are you Sofie?’

‘Yes, what is it?’ Sofie feverishly searched her memory for what she might have done to bring the police to her door. She couldn’t imagine what it could have been. Okay, she might have smuggled a couple of alcopops into the last school dance, and she had probably ridden on the back of Olle’s souped-up moped a few times, but she found it hard to believe that the police would care about such trivial offences.

‘Is your father at home?’ asked the older officer.

‘Yeah,’ said Sofie, and now her thoughts were really running wild. What could Pappa have done?

‘We’d like to talk with both of you, together,’ said the red-haired, slightly younger officer. Sofie couldn’t help reflecting that he wasn’t bad-looking. Neither was the other one, for that matter. But he was so old. He must be thirty-five at least.

‘Come in.’ She stepped aside and let them into the hall. As they were taking off their shoes she went through to the living room. Sure enough, Pappa was sitting there with the enormous headphones clamped to his ears. No doubt he was listening to something horrible by Wizex or the Vikings or Thorleifs. She gesticulated to him to take off the earphones. He just lifted them and gave her a quizzical look.

‘Pappa, there are some cops here who want to talk to us.’

‘Police? What? Who?’ Sofie could see his mind whirling as he tried to work out what she could have got herself into to make the police want to pay a visit. She anticipated him. ‘I didn’t do anything. Honest. I promise.’

He gave her a suspicious glance but took off the headphones, got up, and went out to find out what was going on. Sofie followed at his heels.

‘What’s this about?’ asked Ola Kaspersen, looking a bit afraid of hearing an unwanted reply to that question. His intonation revealed his Norwegian origins, but it was so slight that Patrik guessed it had been many years since he’d left the land of his birth.

‘Could we go in and sit down? My name is Patrik Hedström, by the way, and this is my colleague Martin Molin.’

‘Of course. By all means,’ said Ola, shaking their hands. He still sounded puzzled. ‘Yes, come with me.’ He showed Martin and Patrik into the kitchen, as nine people out of ten would have done. For some reason the kitchen always seemed to be the safest place when the police came to call.

‘So, how can we help you?’ Ola was sitting next to Sofie, while the two police officers took seats facing them. Ola at once began straightening the fringe of the tablecloth. Sofie gave him an annoyed glance. Couldn’t he stop his damn fidgeting even now?

‘We …’ The one who’d introduced himself as Patrik Hedström sounded hesitant, and Sofie began to get a strange feeling in her stomach. She had an urge to cover her ears and hum, the way she did when she was little and Mamma and Pappa were arguing, but she knew that she couldn’t do that. She wasn’t little anymore.

‘I’m afraid we have bad news. Marit Kaspersen was killed in a traffic accident last night. We’re very sorry.’ Hedström cleared his throat again but didn’t look away. The sinking feeling in Sofie’s stomach got worse, and she fought to avoid taking in what she’d just heard. It couldn’t be true! There must be some mistake. Mamma couldn’t be dead. It just wasn’t possible. They were supposed to go shopping in Uddevalla next weekend. They’d made a date. Just the two of them. One of those mother-daughter things that Mamma had been nagging her about for ages, and which Sofie always pretended to dislike but actually enjoyed. Imagine that Mamma had never known that. That she looked forward to their shopping trips together. Sofie’s head was spinning, and next to her she heard her father gasping for air.

‘This must be a mistake.’ Ola’s words were like an echo of Sofie’s thoughts. ‘Marit can’t be dead!’ He was panting as though he’d been running.

‘Unfortunately there’s no doubt about it.’ Patrik paused, then said, ‘I … I identified her myself. I recognized her from the shop.’

‘But, but …’ Ola searched for words, but they seemed to escape him. Sofie regarded him with surprise. For as long as she could remember, her parents had been at each other’s throats. She never would have imagined that there was some part of her father that still cared.

‘What … what happened?’ Ola stammered.

‘A single-car accident, just north of Sannäs.’

‘Single-car accident? What do you mean?’ said Sofie. Her hands were clutching the edge of the table as though that was the only thing anchoring her to reality. ‘Did she swerve to miss a deer, or something? Mamma only drove a car about twice a year. Why was she out driving last night?’ She looked at the officers sitting across from her and felt her heart pounding. It was clear from the way they looked down at the table that there was something they weren’t telling. What could it be? She waited quietly for an answer.

‘We think that there was alcohol involved. She could have been driving under the influence. But we don’t know for sure; the results of the investigation will tell us more.’ Hedström looked straight at Sofie. She couldn’t believe her ears. She looked at her father and then back at Patrik.

‘Are you kidding me? There has to be some mistake. Mamma never drank. Not a drop. I’ve never even seen her have a glass of wine. She was totally against alcohol. Tell them!’ Sofie felt a wild hope surge inside her. It couldn’t be Mamma! She gave her father a hopeful look. He cleared his throat.

‘Yes, that’s true. Marit never drank. Not in all the time we were married, and as far as I know, not afterwards either.’

Sofie sought out his eyes to ascertain that he now felt the same hope that she did, but he avoided looking at her. He said what she knew he had to say, what in her eyes confirmed that the whole thing must be a mistake, and yet something felt … wrong. Then she shook off that feeling and turned to Patrik and Martin.

‘You hear that? You must have made a mistake. It couldn’t be Mamma! Did you check with Kerstin? Is she at home?’

The officers exchanged glances. It was the red-haired one who now spoke. ‘We’ve been to see Kerstin. She and Marit apparently had some sort of argument last night. Your mother stormed out and took the keys to the car. No one has seen Marit since then. And …’ Martin looked at his colleague.

‘And I’m quite sure that it’s Marit,’ Patrik said. ‘I’ve seen her at the shop, and I recognized her straight away. However, we don’t know for certain whether she had drunk anything. We got that impression only because we smelled alcohol on the driver’s seat. But we’re not sure. So it’s possible that there’s some other explanation. But there’s no doubt that it was your mother. I’m very sorry.’

The unpleasant feeling in Sofie’s stomach came back. It grew and grew until it made gall rise up in her throat. Now the tears came too. She felt her father’s hand on her shoulder but shook it off. All those years of quarrelling lay between them. All the arguments, both before and after her parents’ divorce, all the bullshit, all the backbiting, all the hate. All that now solidified into a single hard knot in the midst of the grief. She couldn’t bring herself to listen anymore. With three pair of eyes watching, she ran out the door.

Outside the kitchen window Erica heard two happy voices. Scattered laughter was muffled by the front door until it was opened and the sound spread through the house. Erica couldn’t believe her eyes. Anna was smiling, not in a forced or dutiful way as she did in front of the children in an attempt to calm them, but with a genuine smile that went from ear to ear. She and Dan were talking to each other in high spirits, and their cheeks were rosy from a brisk walk in the lovely springtime weather.

‘Hi, did you have a good time?’ Erica asked cautiously, putting the pot in the coffeemaker.

‘Yes, it was beautiful outside,’ said Anna with a smile at Dan. ‘It felt so good to stretch my legs for a change. We went all the way up to Bräcke and back. The weather was so clear and sunny that some of the trees are already putting out buds, and …’ She had to stop to catch her breath after the walk.

‘And we simply had a terrifically good time,’ Dan put in, taking off his jacket. ‘So, is there going to be coffee, or are you saving it for some other guests?’

‘Don’t be silly, I thought all three of us could have a cup. If you feel up to it,’ said Erica with a glance at Anna. She still felt as though she were walking on very thin ice when she spoke to her sister, afraid she would prick the bubble of joy that had suddenly enveloped Anna.

‘Sure. I haven’t felt this invigorated in a long time,’ Anna said, sitting down at the kitchen table. She took the cup Erica handed her, poured in some milk, and then warmed her hands around the cup. ‘This is just what the doctor ordered.’ The red roses on her cheeks made her face light up. Erica’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of Anna smiling. It had been so long since she’d seen her like this. So long since Anna’d had anything but that mournful, downcast look in her eyes. She glanced at Dan in gratitude. She hadn’t been quite sure she was doing the right thing when she asked Dan to come over and talk to Anna, but she’d had a sneaking feeling that he’d be able to reach her if anyone could. Erica had been trying for months, but finally realized that she wasn’t the right person to snap her sister out of her dismal mood.

‘Dan asked how the wedding plans were coming along, but I had to admit I had no idea. You probably told me, but I haven’t been too receptive lately. So how much have you got done? Is everything booked and ready?’ Anna took a sip of coffee and gave Erica a questioning glance.

All of a sudden she looked so young, so carefree. The way she was before she met Lucas. Erica forced her thoughts away from the subject. She had no desire to ruin this moment by thinking of that arsehole.

‘Well, when it comes to all the things that have to be booked and ordered, we’re up to speed. The church is reserved, we put a deposit down at Stora Hotellet, and, well, that’s about all that’s done.’

‘But, Erica, the wedding is only six weeks away! What sort of gown do you have? What are the kids going to wear? What sort of bridal bouquet will you have? Did you talk to Stora Hotellet about the menu? Did you book rooms for the guests? And is the seating chart done?’

With a laugh Erica held up her hand. Maja was watching them happily from her high chair, unaware of where all this merriment was coming from.

‘Calm down. If you keep up that way, I’m going to regret that Dan managed to get you out of your bed.’ She smiled and winked to show that she was joking.

‘Okay, okay,’ said Anna. ‘I won’t say another word. No, there’s one more thing – did you arrange for the music yet?’

‘No, no, and no again is probably the answer to all your questions, unfortunately,’ Erica sighed. ‘I haven’t … got around to it.’

Anna turned serious at once. ‘You haven’t got around to it because you’ve been taking care of three kids. Forgive me, Erica, it can’t have been that easy for you these past months. I wish I –’ she broke off and Erica saw tears welling up in her sister’s eyes.

‘Hush now, it’s okay. Adrian and Emma have been angels, and they’re at kindergarten all day, so it hasn’t been all that much of a burden. But they’ve missed their mamma.’

Anna gave her a sad smile. Dan was playing with Maja and trying to stay out of the conversation. This was between Erica and Anna.

‘Oh my God, kindergarten!’ Erica jumped out of her chair and looked at the big clock on the wall. ‘I’m super late. I’ve got to collect them. Ewa will be beside herself if I don’t hurry.’

‘I’ll go fetch them today,’ said Anna, getting up. ‘Give me the car keys.’

‘Are you sure?

‘Yes, I’m sure. You’ve been collecting them every single day, so today it’s my turn.’

‘They’ll be overjoyed,’ said Erica, sitting back down at the table.

‘Yes, they will,’ said Anna with a smile, taking the car keys from the worktop. In the hall she turned round.

‘Dan … thank you. I needed this. It was great to have a chance to talk it out.’

‘Hey, no problem. I enjoyed it. We could take a walk tomorrow too if the weather holds. I’m working till quarter to three, so what do you say to an hour’s walk before you have to fetch the kids?’

‘Sounds great. But now I have to hurry, or Ewa will be furious, or whatever it was you said.’ One last smile and she vanished out of the front door.

Erica turned to Dan. ‘What the hell did you do on that walk, anyway? Smoke hash together?’

Dan laughed. ‘No, nothing like that. Anna just needed someone to talk to, and it was as if a cork popped out of her somehow. When she finally started to talk, she was impossible to stop.’

‘I’ve been trying to talk to her for months,’ Erica said. She couldn’t help feeling a bit hurt.

‘You know how it is with you two, Erica,’ said Dan calmly. ‘You have a lot of old baggage between you. Maybe it’s not so easy for Anna to talk to you. You’re too close to each other, in both good and bad ways. But when we were out walking she told me she’s incredibly grateful that you and Patrik were so willing to help, and above all that you’ve been so fantastic with the kids.’

‘She said that?’ Erica could hear how starved for appreciation she sounded. She was so used to taking care of Anna, and she did it gladly, but no matter how selfish it might sound, she wanted Anna to acknowledge the help received.

‘That’s what she said,’ Dan said, putting his hand on hers. It felt familiar and nice.

‘But all that about the wedding sounded a bit worrisome,’ Dan went on. ‘Do you think you can manage to take care of everything in six weeks? Just say the word if you want my help.’ He made funny faces at Maja, who whooped with laughter.

‘What would you do to help?’ Erica snorted, pouring more coffee. ‘Pick out a bridal gown for me, or what?’

Dan laughed. ‘Oh yeah, that would be a big success. No, but I could provide some beds at my house for your guests, for instance. If you need it. I have plenty of room.’ He turned serious, and Erica knew exactly what was preying on his mind.

‘You know, it’ll all work out. It’ll get better.’

‘You think so?’ he said morosely, taking a sip of coffee. ‘God only knows. I miss them so damn much. Sometimes it feels like I’m going to fall to pieces.’

‘Is it the kids, or Pernilla and the kids, that you miss?’

‘I don’t know. Both, I suppose, although I’ve accepted that Pernilla has moved on. But I feel like I’m dying inside because I can’t see the girls every day. Not being there when they wake up, when they go to school, not being able to eat dinner with them and hear how their day was. All of that. Instead I sit all week in that house. It’s so empty that it echoes. I wanted to keep the place so that they wouldn’t lose their childhood home too, but now I don’t know if I can afford it much longer. I may have to sell it within the next six months.’

‘Believe me, I’ve been there, done that,’ said Erica, referring to how close they had come to having Lucas put their house up for sale; the house where they were now sitting, the home where she and Anna had grown up.

‘I just don’t know what to do with my life,’ said Dan, running his hands through his short blond hair.

‘Who are these cheerful people in the kitchen?’ Patrik’s voice from the hallway interrupted them.

‘We’re just talking about what Dan should do with his house,’ Erica said, getting up to kiss her future spouse. Maja had also noticed that the man in her life had come in the door, and now she was waving her arms frantically to be picked up.

Dan looked at her and histrionically threw his arms wide. ‘What’s up with that? I thought we had something going here, you and I. And then you throw me over for the first guy who comes in the door. Kids today, I swear. They don’t know real quality when they see it.’

‘Hey, Dan,’ said Patrik, patting him on the shoulder with a laugh. Then he picked up Maja. ‘Yeah, Pappa is at the top of the list with this little girl,’ he said, giving Maja a kiss and rubbing his stubbly beard against her neck, which made her squeal with delight.

‘By the way, Erica, don’t you have to collect the kids?’

Erica paused for effect. Then she said with a big smile, ‘Anna’s picking them up.’

‘What did you say? Anna’s picking them up?’ Patrik looked amazed, but also pleased.

‘Yes, this hero here took Anna for a walk, and then they smoked a little hash, and –’

‘We did not, stop it!’ laughed Dan, turning to Patrik. ‘This is how it was. Erica rang and asked whether I could try to coax Anna out for a walk so she could get some exercise. And Anna agreed to come along, and we took a lovely long walk. It seemed to do her a lot of good to get out of the house.’

‘That’s a real understatement,’ said Erica, ruffling Dan’s hair. ‘What do you say to basking in the glow of our gratitude for a while longer, and stay for dinner?’

‘Depends. What are you having?’

‘You’re certainly spoiled,’ Erica said with a laugh. ‘Anyway, it’s chicken stew with avocado and jasmine rice.’

‘Okay, it’s a deal.’

‘Nice to hear that we come up to your high standards, Mr Gourmet.’

‘We’ll see about that after I’ve tasted it.’

‘Oh, come off it,’ said Erica, and got up to start making dinner.

She felt warm inside. This had been a good day. A very good day. She turned to ask Patrik how his had been.

2

The good had outweighed the evil. Or had it? Sometimes, in the night when he tossed and turned with the nightmares, he wasn’t so sure. But now, in the daylight, he was utterly certain that the good had prevailed. He felt the evil only as shadows lurking in the corners, not daring to show its ugly face. And that suited him fine.

They had both loved her. So incredibly much. But perhaps he was the one who loved her more. And perhaps she had loved him more. They’d had something special. Nothing could ever come between them. What was ugly and filthy slid off them without sticking.

His sister had regarded them without jealousy. She knew that she was seeing something unique. Something that she couldn’t possibly compete with. And they included her. Swept her into their love, let her take part in it too. There was no reason to feel jealous. Being allowed into that kind of love was something granted only to a few.